The Fat Dong's Rule 11 - (Supernatural Asia, DongZhuo!SI)

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Wushe huffed as she finished dusting a particularly tough spot in the palace.

For a spirit that hardly had to trouble herself with cleaning after herself, it was odd to be the one cleaning after others. And while it was better than having to deal with worse chores, it was still a chore. And Wushe was ill-suited for those...

So why was she getting praised for her half-baked job?

Wushe had many times questioned the purpose of praises by mortals. Gods and spirits praised one another out of monumental feats. Moving celestial bodies, fixing divides between two differing factions, or even existing with the sole purpose of balance. Well, Wushe had experienced praises only once for real and it was about merely coming to be. That was all- she hardly warranted enough to get herself a 'good job, Wushe' or 'you truly did that quite well, Wushe' and... Wushe initially loathed the compliments from mortals.

She struggled to get these mundane chores done, especially with such an unnatural body for someone like her, but the more months passed and the more she grew accustomed to the Imperial Palace's lifestyle... Wushe started to smile at the praises.

Maybe it was the way those tickled at her mind, giving her a sense of 'doing something worthwhile' rather than feeling like a slave to a fat but, oddly so, polite man. She would have expected her body to be stretched and bred like one of those girls jumping for his masculine pole, but Wushe came to realize that the guy wasn't mating just for pleasure.

Dong Zhuo mated with females within some selective rules that truly confused her. Specific hours, specific places, specific occurences and some partners were rejected at times. Was it a selfish motivation behind such a seemingly random choice? No. Wushe was a silly girl, but she wasn't an idiot and she picked up on some logical elements that made her question...

Why do humans mate so much if the main goal was not to produce offsprings?

Sure, most still did so with that in mind, but Dong Zhuo, like some others, wasn't doing it to 'spread his family'. He was doing it to inflict pleasure to others, and he was quite careful to never be the only one to enjoy these moments. She took note of this, she studied it, and then Wushe decided that a blunt approach was needed.

"Why do you mate with so many women and yet you do not seek to make more spawns?"

The first thing that Wushe got as an answer was an actual scolding from Dong Zhuo for 'bringing this up in front of people that do not like the topic'. Specifically, Huaman as she appeared flabbergasted by this sudden question. Once the girl departed early from her lesson, Dong Zhuo retrieved some paper and some ink to try and draw 'visual aid' to his explanation.

Wushe took mental note of it all, and she learned some things about humanity (and females) she knew not about. Such as the fact that mating (or sex) was capable of bringing grand pleasure to many and... how breeding truly happened.

Despite the wisdom of the Gods, the notion of impregnation was never explored. How did it happen? What was the core point of it all and... the answer was complex. But kind of simple. Men's seed fertilized women's... eggs? That bit shocked her as she didn't know that humans had 'eggs' in them, but Dong Zhuo was quick to explain the 'difference' as the fertilized eggs didn't have a solid shell. Rather, they would spread out and allow the production of a baby via the means of this 'D and A'. It was a weirdly fascinating process, and one that highlighted the best bit of the lesson was-

"I am a what?"

"I think the correct term is 'Asexual'. If you don't feel even an itch or an urge to entertain any sexual hunger, then it's possible that you are just born without a need for it."

...

"And?"

"And that means you don't need it beyond the main point of reproducing," Dong Zhuo remarked, "It's like not having to worry about needing a form of intimacy that can be awkward to share with others."

"Is that... good?"

"Yes," He assured, then sighed. "Anything else?"

"Yes, does Huaman know her mother-"

"She does not, and it's best she does not for now," Dong Zhuo interjected and Wushe nodded. "Done?"

"Done. I'll be... I think I have finished all the chores."

That realization surprised them both, but Dong Zhuo shrugged at such development.

"Hm, that so? Then I suppose a reward is duly warranted."

Wushe wasn't sure what drove her to comply to the fat man's request, but Dong Zhuo had her rest her head on his lap and then he would caress her head softly. It was such an odd experience, one that had her tingly all over as she waited for something else to happen. It was an odd sensation, one that jolted her awake for a moment and then it forced her to slumber.

When the former sprit woke up, it was the late evening, and she had to be present for dinnertime. She went to sleep in her tiny room that very night with a confused mind to bear with as she felt that tender touch, that caring humming, and that feeling of closeness had stirred in her something primal.

Driven by a sense of curiosity, her right hand slithered down to her belly and then below it to her 'naughty spot'. Blinking, Wushe retreated the palm, perplexed by not only feeling but then seeing that her fingers were wet. With a frown plastered on her face, the girl brought the digits to her lips. It didn't smell like pee, and it tasted quite sweet.

Also, why was she blushing so suddenly? And why did she want to rest her head once more on that bizarre fat man's lap?


Her domain was good. Dong Bai had nothing to whine about it.

It's been two months since she took over, with the Qiao twins were somewhat happy to be back 'home', but they were nostalgic of the imperial palace- of their uncle. It would be silly for Bai to say that she didn't miss her grandfather. In fact, she really missed him to the point of regretting asking for her own fief. She like to rule, yes, but it wasn't the same without the old man around to give her advice and tell her some fun tales of old.

Bai's arrival was met with some confusion as some of the local garrison tried to 'save' her 'future husband'. Her own army made it clear that the Emperor's order was absolute - and she was the 'Queen of the Castle'. The Castle itself was in disrepair and it would take some of her initial budget to see it patched up for good.

Likewise, investments for the local fishing industry and the infrastructure were a must to properly improve the local economy. Her granddad had slammed her with so many new terms and ideas that she found herself instantly think of his voice right by her ears and a strong virile hand by her shoulder.

Dong Bai didn't see her grandpa as a potential lover- rather, as a model to take inspiration from while looking for her real future husband. She refused altogether to consider Bao Xun as a possible suitor. Not for a lack of effort from her part, she owed this much to her grandfather, but the bastard had the balls to try and 'seduce her'.

A mace barely missing his crotch was enough to put him in place on who had control in that situation. And she made sure he was treated as a 'proper wife' of her as she turned her focus in fixing what mess the boy's father had left behind.

With peace returning a degree of growth to trading, Dong Bai favored some new routes moving southward towards Suzhou and other major ports. Eventually she would want to use a seafaring route to connect them with the southern provinces, but for now she could work with what she had and... it was still not the same as home.

She finished the month writing a letter back to her family. Her parents were ecstatic for her before she left, but the letter to Grandpa Zhongying was penned with masterful attention to not litter it with any complaint. She didn't hate her post, but she loathed the distance from home.

And as Dong Bai settled in her role and slowly conquered the hearts and minds of those within the peninsula she now owned as its semi-supreme leader, she also made the acquaintance with some rumors that had been spreading for over ten years now. Even the Qiao twins had much to say about the 'Mystical Islands of Wa' and while it felt like a fancy fantasy tale, Dong Bai remembered something her grandpa had told her- that there were some distant islands in the Eastern sea and that only strong ships could make the trip: such as the ones tended by the Jimo port city.

After some thorough thinking, Dong Bai decided that her 'distracting project', something that would give her more to ponder to expand her influence in the future, would be to establish diplomatic ties with those lands beyond the ocean. It was going to be a bit tough considering the tales of the sailors assigned to the matter, but Dong Bai knew this may be it- to discover a land that was familiar with what the old texts called the 'Land of the Wa'.

What Dong Bai didn't know was that she was going to find more than a little settlements on the other side of the pond.


AN

Wushe is (not) asexual, and Dong Bai is being a little Conquistador and perhaps bringing her grandpa a new soulmate-seeking waifu from Wa (Japan). Which brings me to clear out some dilemmas on the matter of Yamatai since there is no historical basis to confirm where Himiko's fief was located, but I am quite certain it was in Kyushu. So... Dong Bai finds Japan (and walking Armpit-fetish Waifu).