Dr. BaiBai - (Honkai: Star Rail, Bailu!SI)

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AN: So, I know this is crazy but... Bailu!SI is a Gremlin on Crack (and very kinky around pretty ladies). Also, she is not going to pull her punches with evildoers!

"Alchemy Commission Collected Treatment Histories: Volume Forty-Two, Case Study 947

Presiding Physician: Bailu.

Patient: Gu Chang, male Xianzhou Native, aged fifty-nine.

Complaint: Patient has been feeling extreme aches by the lower abdomen for a month now with increasing intensity.

Diagnosis: Mild Appendicitis, worsened by a precedent misdiagnosis (See Case Study 648 - Psc. Shenjin).

Prescription: 'Extraordinary Surgery' (since offered procedure that has been introduced for debade and implementation has yet to be officialized by the Alchemy Commission).

Usage: Once.

Remarks: Part of the sudden upswing of Appendicitis-related cases (I believe that someone is causing this within the Commission through abysmal hygiene and mistakes). It doesn't help that there seems to be a lot of misdiagnosis worsening the patients' condition. I have mentioned many times that this could have led to trouble so... I told this patient and a few others that underwent similar conditions where they can find legal assistance. I told you that I could do that so here we go. Have fun with that, you soulless corpos!"

There are many rumors surrounding the Luofu.

Some says that ghosts are a thing (I mean, one can make a case on Heliobi being sorta-ghosts), or that the Arbiter-General was the most dutiful member of the Xianzhou Alliance's leadership (a terrible lie considering the few times I had to handle his cases of 'sudden tummy ache to skip on work with his student'.

But the one rumor I am most confident about speaks of a fearsome physician within the Alchemy Commission that is known to have a totality of 99% of successful cases. An exceptional healer, a prodigious youth with enough wisdom to stand on the shoulders of the ancestors and-

"L-Lady Bailu, we should be get going. There is a very important case!"

The old Vidyadhara woman that urged me out of my office as I was in the cusp of writing a most relatable article regarding my mystical existence. Huffing, I turned to the oldie and she gave me a flat look. I soon plopped out of the comfy chair and got moving as I knew this was my staunchest ally, my ultimate assistant and, without a doubt, the best (and worst) secretary I have ever hired.

"It can't be more important than me writing truths about myself, Jinyu," I fussed as I trailed behind the very swift lady. "Still, just because you are a nice girl, I will do that."

The woman giggled, then coughed as her lungs were deteriorating fast. Now, I get it, this is going fast so...

How about we slow down a bit?

Let's start with something quite smooth: twenty years ago, a child was born. Kinda. Sorta. It is weird to explain, but my species does not reproduce - we reincarnate. And I (technically) was someone without a previous reincarnation. I am special- and I was also adorable since I barely grew up.

My name is Bailu, or 'High Lord of the Vidyadhara' or 'Dragon Lady' or 'Healer Dragon' or 'the Dragon-Goblin'. You pick the title, I am still the adorable gremlin that seduces with a smile and then horrifies with healing smacks of Quantum-powered Erudition.

I am not exactly a 'normal Earth girl', especially since I used to be a 'normal Earth man' before Truck-kun came from the corner with a surprise takedown. Admittedly, more spoopier than this sounds out to be. Lots of blood, gore, pain and death.

Still, one moment I was ded-ded. Then I woke up in some sort of egg-bubble. And then I was getting bowed at. Something-something 'the chosen one'. But I knew what was going on. I was a girl - a very cute girl - and I was in the Xianzhou Alliance. Holy shit, I am in the wacky world of Honkai. And I am one of the most adorable healer unit possible...

That wasn't going to work for me.

I mean, yes, I am still a healer, but for those that know OG Bailu I was now a tad bit more like 'Lynx' in terms of Element and effectivity... while also having my 'Zappy Def' skill ready to revive morons that were trying to flatline.

Now, twenty years is a lot and me being stuck in this body with the chores and limitations that I had meant I could hardly do much with my existence. Still, I sponged onto books, compared notes with the medical limitations of the Xianzhou and... drew the conclusion that a lot of 'modern' practices were not available to the Alchemy Commission. Why?

Well, let me put it as simply as humanly possible: medicine is not a well-meaning subject within the Xianzhou. Anyone that did some good medical breakthrough tended to turn to the Abundance a bit too hard and... well, I am chums with Erudition. Yes, I decided that Multi-Arms Mommy was less desiderable compared to Skynet God. Praise the Internet, I guess.

So, I am smart due to my prior life and my current one, and I am also something of a religious/political figure. All of that was countered by the fact I was an 'illegitimate spawn, an abomination and not someone worthy of succeeding the previous High Elder, Dan Feng'. Yes, I was told all of that plus a lot more of Pseudo-Chinese terminology meant to insult me or something.

The issue with that is: 1) I don't give a dime about pricks that are disrespecting me and 2) I knew I was eventually going to get the keys to the Gucci Dragon Lair once the Stellaron Incident happened.

Which...

Turned out to be today.

"That's a lot of people and... oh. Mara-infestation. Hmm... Jinyu?"

"Y-Yes Lady Bailu?" The woman paused as we reached the Exalting Sanctum.

"This smells like a bit more than the usual 'surprise'. I want you to take a seat by the bench and return to the office," I explained seriously, giving her a frown. "Also, don't think of disobeying this order now that you are close to reincarnate again. Remember to write new entries in your journal."

She huffed and nodded. "Fine. By your leave then, Lady Bailu."

I nodded twice, looking her take a seat to rest before walking up to see the full extent of the combined assault on the Luofu. Lots of mara-struck soldiers that were struggling but...

I was here. And so was my Anti-Mara Quantum cane.

Now, this cane wasn't chosen by yours truly for it to be used as a medical tool, rather I found canes awesome. And I could hit annoying people when they were within reach. Jing Yuan's shins had felt my wrath the few times the bastard tried to get a free pass out of work, so it was a tested weapon of annoyance... so, how did it became a healing stick? Dunno, I just know that Nous, in THEIR robotic glory, blessed me with a tool of justice (and gremlinhood).

One of the soldiers was close to turn before I whacked the side of his head with my holy thingy and smacked Yaoshi's mommy energy out of his skull. I did the same with a few more of the soldiers, but I ended up finding out that some had been corrupted a lot more and were currently targeting a few 'foreigners'.

I decided to give a good first impression.

"Coming through!" I yelled as I rushed at Mach-Speed, my Quantum Cane striking fear and cleansing upon the corrupted idiots. Whack this, whack that, I almost whacked Stelle too but- oh well, everyone's fine. "Howdy strangers and welcome to a... well, a bit of a warzone."

"Oh, Lady Bailu. I am surprised to find you here already," Tingyun spoke, and I knew that this one was, right now, being taken over by that spooky Heliobus Phantylia. "I thought the Alchemy Commission would have been reluctant to send their best out just yet."

"Well, I was told the situation is getting bad and..." I turned to look around at the few other mild Mara-infestations around. "And I guess that's a bit true. Still, hello YunYun- I see that you have added more pleasant layers to your hips."

The Foxian 'blushed' at the praise. "L-Lady Bailu."

"Just remember to visit for your weekly massages~," I hummed cheekily, then turned to the others as they looked a bit scandalized by the exchange. "And what about these three. New friends?"

"They are part of the crew of the Astral Express."

I allowed my eyes to widen up at that. "Wowie, that means you are big shots. Nice to meet you all, I am Bailu."

"Nice to meet you, I am Welt Yang, these here are Stelle and March 7th."

"Hiya!" I waved at the two, and March giggled.

"Hello, little one!"

I pouted. "I am short, not young, silly."

My response surprised the two, but then I giggled. "What? Didn't anyone tell ya lifespans work different here in the Xianzhou?"

"W-Well yes, but-"

"Apologies, Lady Bailu. But I have to interrupt this meeting her since I have to bring this group to Lady Yukong."

"Oh! I see. Well, if you have to meet with Auntie, then it's super-serious. Then I guess I'll go back to whack more people healthy. See ya later~!"

And I was off to do just that- and more.

Like hell I was playing a secondary role in the main quest. I had plans to enact, people to save (hot people at that), and I wanted to meet Kafka. I met lots of 'Mommy-tiers' ladies, this would be the first time I met someone like the Stellaron Hunter herself.

Now, the question is... how do I plan to avoid getting stopped? Well, I trained in medical arts, a bit of combat and... flying a Starskiff. You know, me being the incarnation of a certain Foxian Kamikaze- it felt fitting to add that to my credentials.

Hopefully I wasn't going to need to crashland it to get the job done but... well, stuff can happens and I am a bit too trigger happy. I blame my predecessor for this.

AN

SI!Bailu, professional doctor, innovator, pilot, and womanizer. What? She is in her 20s. While it is a challenge, she isn't too inexperienced around ladies. Tingyun may know a thing or two about that~.