A Most Pink Affair - (Naruto AU, Sakura!SI)

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"Haruno Sakura is such a lame character."

This is the kindest thing someone that was fan of Naruto had to say. Sure, there were praises to be given to the aforementioned pinkette, but it was also built as a shitty and bitchy girl from the very beginning.

The issue that most veteran fans of the series had, however, was not based on her attitude - it was her overall development.

Some called it undeserved, other said that it was just right but it definitely needed some tweaks.

If it came down to my opinion, then the answer was rather blunt and straightforward: Sakura had the perfect shitty attitude to create a powerful character.

And I don't use the term 'character' in regard of overall abilities, but about personality and outright morality within the circumstances she was stuck.

Sakura was stuck in a very interesting environment: she was new blood within the Ninja Corps. She was without Special Skills, backgrounds, or even actual talent beyond something that was unusual for a character as 'shitty' as hers - she had learned medical jutsu.

And medical jutsu can, by all means, be terrifying if used within the right creative (and murderous) mindset.

I am not sure if this unique perspective was a reason for my sudden rebirth as Haruno Sakura, to open my new green eyes upon the smiling faces of Haruno Kizashi and Mebuko, but I couldn't help but feel like whatever Deity had yanked me here wanted one thing from me: prove your point.

So, here I was, a young girl with pink hair that would become a kunoichi.

Common sense (and a degree of chaotic delight) demanded I dodged the academy. After all, the entire point of becoming a Ninja for Sakura was... because it was cool.

I have no clue whatsoever why Sakura would go for the Academy beyond the simple and moronic aspect most children would take out of the idea of 'Ninja School'.

I could have gone for the businesswoman path- dad and mom owned a shop, so I could have worked my way into financial success across the known land but...

Well, that would be boring. And kind of counterproductive.

After all, threats were bound to come to Konoha: Orochimaru's invasion, Sasuke leaving the village, Pain's attack, the Fourth Shinobi War and much more.

Maybe I could have learned this elsewhere?

...Yeah, no. I tried. I really did. I didn't have the skills to smuggle my little ass through the security checks at the Ninja Libraries, and 'no civvy was allowed inside'.

Which is why I had to bite the bullet and get enrolled at the academy when I turned 5.

At this point, I had cultivated a good relationship with my new parents. Kizashi was big in the tea business and mom had style in fashion which expanded the 'Haruno Business Company' as a dual-institution.

We weren't the richest, but I have to say that I had some nice girly gifts around this time.

One thing I forgot to mention is that... I had been a boy in my previous life. This new situation was not... starting as an ideal isekai for me.

I had to grow accustomed to the fact I couldn't pee standing up, or that I couldn't exactly bare my chest when I felt too hot and I had dropped to the barest minimum clothing.

All in all, I survived this first bit of being a girl. Then it was time for the School Arc and... that's where the difficulty got upped to a very frustrating level.

Bullies? I had waited for them, and I have to say that they were indeed as infuriating as I thought those would be.

I had my own experience with boys, but female bullies caughted me a little bit off-guard for a simple reason: I couldn't just smack one and show dominance.

I couldn't rely on the classic 'boys gonna be boys' to stand my ground. This wasn't going to be as simple, but it wasn't that difficult to handle.

All I needed was some basic education through the academy applied in a rather goofy and 'harmless' manner.

Good news is that the plan worked. The bad news is that I got caught doing what I did. Dunno how, but I had a feeling it was less about 'someone caught me in the act' and 'she is the most likely suspect' sort of situation.

I had hoped to avoid this- I mean, I wasn't a top student, but I wanted to keep my grades up and without any stains to my record so... I was really not looking forward at the private meeting that Funeno-sensei had planned for me.

My parents weren't called, that was a relief, but I had a feeling that a wrong move may see that positive circumstance go upside down.

So, I had to play it clever or face some scolding from mom and dad.


"It was Naruto!"

Funeno Daikoku was a man that had seen many kinds of students.

Uchiha Itachi, the brightest student, and then there were some stupid delinquents that tended to sully the academy's reputation.

While to many the name Haruno Sakura amounted to a mediocre student, to Daikoku it warranted both consideration and concern - the pink-haired girl was more than what a first impression would imply.

Sakura was far more clever than many of her peers were. Daikoku wouldn't go as far as saying she was at the same level as Itachi, but the girl definitely had his own attitude when it came to homework: she mocked the tasks by outright setting for a specific score.

In Sakura's case, it was 77.

Never more, never less. The average teacher would not catch onto this since there were so many students and similar grades to hers, but Daikoku had always looked out for anyone that stood out from the rest after meeting Itachi.

Daikoku had been checking on this unusual girl for a while now, keeping it as distant of an analysis as possible, but eventually understood it was best to approach the child and see what she was truly all about.

And the opportunity came up through a very unexpected turn of events: one of Sakura's classmates, another girl, had been subjected to a prank which resulted in her 'expensive bag' randomly catching on fire after school.

To the common shinobi, this felt like a random attack. One of the kind that anyone could attribute to the distraction offered by Sakura - Uzumaki Naruto.

To say that Daikoku had no ill intent towards the rambuctious boy would be a lie. He did feel upset over his current 'burden', but he knew better than see the boy as the beast he held within himself.

Still, the blonde wasn't impossible to pin on the matter as he had been assigned a punishment for another prank well before the fire bag 'accident'.

And Daikoku had spied upon Sakura long enough to know the pinkette had good reasons to strike at this particular student - the 'victim' had been a bully. A notorious one at that. And she had targeted Sakura for some time now.

Retaliation felt like something predictable from children with a backbone, but to see it unfold through a malicious prank felt like an excessive reaction even from a smart child.

A meeting was issued and Daikoku was soon sitting in front of Sakura. And the pinkette's first response to being called out as the main suspect of this accident was indeed-

"It was Naruto!"

"Uzumaki-san was busy cleaning up the Hokage Mountain when the prank unfolded."

"But the seal was timed as you said, so that doesn't mean-"

"Haruno-san, Naruto can't do seals."

...

"He could have learned," Sakura rebuked weakly. "With books."

"I am aware you have claimed a few books on the topic. I never thought a first-year student would have achieved such a clever and effective burning seal. I have to say, however, that the context makes this a worrisome circumstance."

"I am quite sure the true culprit would love these words. But that's not me, sensei."

"Sakura, why did you do it?" The man asked, trying to get to the bottom of this matter.

...

"Sensei, do you agree that violence between students is a horrible circumstance?"

Daikoku blinked and, by instinct, he nodded. "Obviously."

Sakura huffed. "Wrong."

Surprise flared in the Chunin's eyes. Daikoku was about to rebuke that, but Sakura wasn't done talking.

"If this had been one of those civilian schools my parents went through, then it would have been a good answer. Violence doesn't fix diplomatic issues," The girl paused, green eyes aiming at the ceiling. "In the world of Ninja, violence is a common factor. Pain or fear are powerful things that can outright change the habits of others. Let me ask you this, do you believe that Ami was truly a victim, or someone that deserve comeuppance."

The terminology baffled Daikoku and he couldn't help but be baffled by Sakura's linguistic skill. Still, he remained on the main topic and huffed.

"That's archaic, Sakura. We now strive to teach our fellow ninja to be understanding of the rules, we don't frighten them."

"And would that have worked with Ami?"

Daikoku opened his mouth to say 'yes'. It was the automatic response any teacher would have in those matters - violence among students wasn't acceptable. And yet, as he thought of Sakura's previous explanation, he couldn't help but realize that she wasn't wrong with the core concept of her idea of 'doing right'.

As teachers, they had their hands tied. The Hokage, as good as he may be, was old and constantly buried with other matters. He could hardly look into the Academy beyond giving monthly checks over Naruto's situation. And with the limited legislation behind the Academy's curriculum, it was difficult to toe the line between doing good and doing right.

The harshness of the past was shedded away as an aspect of a time where wars were frequent. Peace had ruled over Konoha and this side of the world for long enough that the scars of the Third Shinobi War was but just a mythical event in the minds of the newer generations.

Even Itachi had hardly any presence during the war, and he hadn't seen the full scope of what a conflict between major villages as many others had.

The future was always meant to be better, and the present tends to bury the gruesome past to let it come faster to them.

While this worked on a general level, it definitely allowed for this permissive nature on slackened requirements to hit them hard.

Sakura was not wrong - Ami would have been harshly reprimanded the very day she started to rant against her fellow students. Regardless of her family's standing on an ecomonic level, Ami was a future kunoichi.

Still, Daikoku knew that Ami wasn't going to become a Kunoichi.

Slacking or not, the Academy's rule were still quite ruthless against unruly students and he was quite sure the young bully had a chance to make it through with her limited skills.

That being said...

"Whatever your excuse may be, you still took charge of a matter beyond your responsibilities. So, for the remainder of the year, you shall be the tutor of a fellow student."

Sakura rolled her eyes at this 'absurd' punishment, but she didn't whine about it. Rather, she focused on a good question.

"Who?"

Daikoku offered an amused smile.

"Uchiha Satsuki."


AN

It's a bit cracky, a bit serious, a bit canony, and a bit fanony. Get your pick because this Sakura's about to take the Elemental Countries for a Storm.

And yes, there's some genderbent characters. Sasuke is one, but not Naruto. I will refrain to say who is going to be in the harem, but I count two individuals right now and I doubt anyone else could tag along.

I mean, I can give the titles?
The Tomboy Avenger;
The Loli Tsundere;