Fragile as Glass
Chapter 10
The following weeks went well, all things considered. For a few days, both Yuri and Otabek felt a little weird around each other, and Yuri especially seemed to be walking on eggshells around Otabek. Understandable, considering everything that had happened, but the feeling faded quickly, and Yuri was back to sending Otabek memes all day, and yammering away to him when they were together.
The craziest thing to Otabek was that Yuri really was as busy with homework as he had claimed during those weeks he had been avoiding Otabek. While Otabek watched tv or scrolled through his phone on down time, Yuri was close by with his laptop, doing schoolwork. A few days after they had made up, Yuri had said he really did have that much homework, since he was trying to graduate with an associate's degree (which Otabek thought was crazy, considering how busy he already probably was with normal school on top of skating), but "that doesn't mean I couldn't have done it while sitting next to you." It was this moment that Otabek realized just how smart Yuri was. He had always known that Yuri was bright and talented, but to see that he was book smart, too… well, it was quite a turn on.
Now that they were talking again, Otabek was learning all kinds of things about Yuri, beyond just how smart he was. Yuri didn't often let people into his heart, but those he loved, he loved with his entire being, so much so that it hurt, and he would do absolutely anything for those people. Otabek hadn't noticed until then, but Yuri called to speak to his grandpa at least three times a week, and every conversation with the older Plisetsky was full of emotion and meaning. Otabek had always known that Nikolai meant the world to Yuri, but he had never understood the depth of Yuri's feelings for his grandpa. After his talks with his grandpa, he would get quiet for a while, lost in thought, then would shake it off and he'd be back to normal. He told Otabek one day after he had returned from the Trophée de France with a gold medal that he knew his grandpa was getting older and sicker, and that he didn't have much time, so he wanted to make the best of the time he had left with him.
As the Grand Prix Final approached, tension ran extra high, but he and Yuri learned to work through it together, talking through their worries and stress, or just sitting next to each other, not saying a word, but feeling the comfort of their best friend's presence regardless.
The Final came and went, and Otabek walked away with silver, proud of it. He lost by less than a point to Yuuri Katsuki, and Yuri was close on his heals with bronze, only a point and a half behind. Victor was as proud as could possibly be after his students took all three medals. Otabek never thought he'd see the day that he would beat Yuri, not just once, but twice. Yuri was pissed, but also happy for Otabek, and Otabek watched him war with those two feelings for weeks after. Otabek had his own mixed emotions about it: proud of himself for keeping up with two world record holders, but sad for Yuri that he felt like he was falling behind.
That feeling only seemed to get worse for Yuri in the weeks before the Russian and Kazakhstan nationals. One morning, Yuri emerged from his bedroom, looking rather haggard. Otabek handed him a bowl of oatmeal, and the Russian grumbled as he took it and went to sit down. Otabek followed close behind and as he sat down, asked, "Is everything alright?"
"No. I'm in pain." Yuri muttered, shoving his spoon into the oatmeal without scooping any. He just pushed the mush around in the bowl.
"What kind of pain?" Otabek asked, watching Yuri with concern. "Are you injured?"
Yuri shook his head. "No. Just growing pains, I think. It's just my calves and my thighs, but it fucking hurts, and it kept me up all night." Another thing Otabek learned about Yuri was that he had a filthy mouth, and there was no stopping it, especially when he was pissed off.
Otabek nodded. "I see. I had growing pains, too. Thankfully they don't last very long. Why don't I take your morning spot on the ice, and you can get a little more rest before going to my slot this afternoon. Is that okay?"
Yuri looked up from his oatmeal with sparkles in his eyes. "Really? You'll do that?"
Otabek nodded and Yuri agreed enthusiastically, now eating his oatmeal with his usual gusto. So, Otabek went to morning practice with Victor, telling the coach about the change and what had happened that morning, then he went for a run with Yuuri, who had become a reliable, constant friend that he could go to for anything. Yuri was too, but with feelings involved, there were just some things that Otabek couldn't talk to him about in depth, even if they had been mentioned briefly, at least not while they were still just friends. But he knew Yuuri would never judge him, no matter the topic, even if he just wanted to talk about how much he wanted to smother his best friend in kisses and couldn't.
Otabek returned home a few minutes before Yuri's ice time was supposed to end, but found the blond in the living room, not doing anything other than staring at the wall, looking pissed. Knowing Yuri could blow up any second, Otabek approached cautiously, kneeling next to the couch. Yuri didn't even acknowledge Otabek's presence, sitting sideways on the couch with his arms crossed, glaring at the wall like it had personally offended him.
"Yura." Otabek said softly, but Yuri tensed. Otabek looked down to see the stuffed tiger clenched tightly in Yuri's right hand, looking like it was going to rip if he squeezed any tighter. Otabek reached out a hand to wrap it around Yuri's clenched fist. He stroked the back of his hand with his thumb and the tight fist loosened marginally. "Talk to me, Yura. What's wrong?"
Otabek looked back up at Yuri's face just in time to see his lip start to wobble and tears start to fall, even though his glare never left the wall. Otabek stood but didn't leave. He leaned over Yuri to put one arm behind his back and the other under his knees and lifted. He sat down on the couch and set Yuri on his lap, then put both arms around him and pulled him tight to his chest. The blond sobbed into Otabek's neck and Otabek held him while he cried. Yuri was always a clingy person with the people he loved, and he loved Otabek. This would be what he needed.
It didn't take long for the crying to stop and soon Yuri was cuddled in Otabek's lap, sniffling. "My skates don't fit." He said quietly in between sniffles. "They were too tight today and I tried to skate through it, but it just made things worse and now my feet hurt. I've noticed that they were getting a little tight, but I didn't think I'd need new ones quite yet. How am I supposed to skate in nationals next week in new skates?" Otabek looked down to see fresh tears pooling in Yuri's eyes.
Otabek squeezed him tighter and tried to remember the days when he also went through similar problems. Hormones ran wild, his legs hurt, his skates and costumes were suddenly too small, and he had had to adjust the way he skated thanks to suddenly longer limbs. Those days had been some of the hardest in Otabek's skating career, and Yuri was going through that now.
"Growing is hard. I know that, and I remember it. Everything seems like it's going wrong, and hormones don't help. One minute you laugh, and then you cry, and then you just want to punch someone in the face for no explainable reason. So, when something is actually wrong, when there's a reason, it feels like the end of the world. I went through it, too. But trust me when I say it gets better. I'm not going to sugar coat everything, and I'm going to be honest with you. This season is going to be your hardest one yet. In the next six months, your body is going to change, quickly and drastically, and a lot of changes are going to have to be made. But push through it. Growth spurts don't last forever. You'll be seventeen in March, and most of the growing will be over by then. Take a deep breath." Yuri did as he said, and Otabek continued. "We'll get you new skates, and you still have ten days to break them in. Don't panic."
Yuri calmed down after that, and Otabek sat on the couch, holding Yuri for as long as he needed, and then they had Yuuri go with them to get Yuri some new skates.
By the Russian Nationals, Yuri had mostly broken them in, and he skated beautifully, still taking first by a large margin, considering he had no real competition there. But he was still angry more often than not, and Otabek worried about leaving him in Japan while he went to his own national competition the next week, but it was too late to change flights, and only he and Victor would be going. The competition was only two days, and he asked Yuuri to keep an eye on Yuri for him after a brief explanation of Yuri's current mental state.
Otabek left for nationals reluctantly, but Victor pulled him along and helped him focus, already knowing the current challenges they were going through. When they landed in Almaty, Otabek could have cried at the sight of his parents and the three kids waving and holding up big signs with "Welcome Home, Otabek" written in yellow and blue Kazakh. He didn't cry, but he did scoop the kids up in a huge hug and let them hang off him as much as they wanted. His anam and ake both also got crushing hugs. He had missed them so much, even with talking to them every day. The whole family would be attending the competition to support him.
The Kazakhstan Nationals had been one of Otabek's easiest competitions to win for a handful of years now, and this year was shaping up to be much the same, so Victor made him take it easy, cutting out a few quads and telling him to focus on some of the changes they had made in preparation for some of the international competitions still to come. Otabek followed his orders, and even with a lower score than his more recent ones from the Grand Prix series, he still came out on top.
With a gold medal around his neck, his whole family wanted to take him and Victor out to dinner, so Otabek dragged Victor with him to a cab and they all met at one of Otabek's favorite restaurants in Almaty. Ake paid for everything, even Victor's meal, to say thank you to him for helping Otabek. Victor's big personality had also won over the family quite quickly.
Inzhu had taken the time while most of the family was distracted with Victor to ask him about Yuri and why on earth they weren't boyfriends yet. She had hoped he would come with good news. Otabek told her everything that had happened since their fight, and that they still had some things to work on. And Yuri's mental state wasn't in the greatest place right then, thanks to his ongoing growth spurt. He had already shot up a few inches since Otabek had moved in with him, and the extra inches were packed with extra hormones. Inzhu dropped it after that.
Unfortunately, Otabek didn't have any time to visit his family home while he was in Almaty, and by the next morning he was back on a plane, headed back to Japan despite his youngest siblings' protests for him to stay in Almaty with them forever. He had laughed and ruffled the twins' hair, then picked up Anima to give her a big kiss on the cheek before promising he'll be back in the off season, with Yuri, and that he would still call them every day. That pleased them well enough to let him go.
When he walked back into his shared apartment, Yuri was there, frowning as he watched something cook in a pan in front of him. When Otabek walked in the door, Yuri's head snapped around and he launched himself at Otabek in their usual greeting. Otabek had just enough time to put down his backpack before he had to catch Yuri.
"I missed you so much, Beka!" Otabek could hear the grin in Yuri's voice, and he felt his shoulders relax in relief. He had been really worried about leaving Yuri to be here alone for three days, but he seemed like his normal, upbeat self at the moment. He lowered himself from where he had clung to Otabek like a koala and smiled up at him. "Congrats on Gold! You skated amazingly! I watched the whole thing. That triple axel in your short was seriously so perfect."
Otabek let a small smile tug at his lips as he listened to Yuri go off on a long rant aboutOtabek's routines and the other competitors in Kazakhstan. He smiled indulgently as he watched Yuri cook what he now recognized as piroshki filling and snuck a taste when he thought Yuri wasn't looking, but he got whacked with a spoon as he licked his thumb. "Hey! If you eat it, I won't have any for the piroshki."
Yuri then elbowed Otabek out of the way and shooed him out of the kitchen to go unpack. The Kazakh did as he was told and dragged his suitcase into his bedroom, threw it on his bed, and opened it to put everything away.
When he returned to the kitchen, Yuri was wrapping up the last of the filling in a perfectly shaped ball of dough, then moved the pan of piroshki to a clean area of the kitchen to proof while he cleaned up, and Otabek sat at the table watching after Yuri denied any help from him. Once Yuri was done, he dragged Otabek to the living room to watch tv while they waited for the piroshki. Yuri made him pause their series long enough to go put them in the oven, then returned to finish another episode before the food was done.
While Otabek had eaten plenty of piroshki before, he had never had Yuri's. It was his grandpa's recipe, and he claimed he still wasn't as good at it as his dedushka, but Otabek couldn't see how it could get any better. The dough was light and fluffy, and the filling was packed with juicy flavor. He was immediately obsessed over the traditional meal and told Yuri he needed to make it way more often. Yuri agreed happily and they both ate until they were stuffed.
"Victor is going to kill us if he finds out that we ate all those." Yuri said, looking at the now empty tray that once held quite a few piroshki.
"Who says he has to know? We've both recently won nationals, I think we deserve a treat, just like how Katsuki gets to eat Katsudon when he wins something."
"I like the way you think, Beka." Yuri said, leaning back in his seat and rubbing his over-full stomach.
The Kazakh hummed and closed his eyes, also leaning back in his chair. The pair of them sat in comfortable silence for a long time, waiting to digest a little before they had to clean up. When Otabek cracked his eyes open, he found Yuri's watching him with something unknown swimming in them. They were more green than blue today, and Otabek found himself easily entranced by them, especially as the setting sun streamed in through the kitchen window, illuminating them.
"Alright?" Otabek asked when Yuri's gaze didn't leave Otabek's after a long moment.
Yuri nodded. "Just wishing I had done things differently when you got here."
Otabek nodded in understanding. He often wished for the same. That he had just told Yuri how he felt from the start. Life would have been so much easier that way. "We'll get there," he said.
Life went on, and as the weeks passed, Otabek saw the questions start to hang over them both. How long did they have to wait, exactly? How would they know they were ready? At what point could they decide to keep working on themselves, but with each other in a relationship? Otabek had answers to none of these questions. Yuri voiced them occasionally, and Otabek took that as a good sign that they were finally talking. Really talking. It was a step in the right direction.
A week before Four Continents, and a full four months after Otabek had moved into Yuri's apartment with him, Otabek had a call pop up on his phone. Yuri wasn't home yet, still out with Yuuri on a run with Makka. It was Anam. "Hello?" Otabek answered, confused at the odd time for a call.
"Oh, Otabek. I'm so glad you answered. We've had a very messy day over here." Anam said, sounding kind of frantic and hopped up on adrenaline that was wearing off.
"What's going on? Is everything alright?" Otabek asked in concern.
"All things considered, it could be much, much worse. But it's not great either." Otabek could hear some commotion in the background as his mom spoke.
"What on earth is all that noise?"
"We had a bit of a situation at the house today. You're probably hearing the firemen. The shed by the house caught fire, and it's been a bit of a mess."
"Fire?!" Otabek sat up straighter on the couch. "Oh my gosh, is everyone okay?"
"Oh, yes. Everyone's just fine. No one was so much as scratched. We're fine." Otabek sighed in relief at the confirmation that his family was okay. "But, um… the shed isn't. Well… let's just say it doesn't exist anymore, along with… everything in it…"
Otabek had to process for a while, and he started speaking before he could finish his thought process. "Well, if that's the worst of it, it definitely could have been worse. It's just the…" And then it hit him. "… my motorcycle…" He said quietly. He had stored his motorcycle in his parents' shed. The one that burned down. His mom wasn't calling to tell him about the fire. She was calling to tell him about his motorcycle.
"Oh, Otabek. I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to change it. What can I do?"
Otabek shook his head even though he knew his mom wouldn't be able to see him. "Nothing. It's alright. I'm just glad everyone's okay." He hung up and sat back against the armrest of the couch, staring at his blank phone.
For the last 5 summers he had worked on that bike. He bought it when he was home for the summer one year, and his ake had helped him pick it up. It didn't run at all, and Otabek just wanted a project for the summer. Something he could do to keep busy. He couldn't drive yet, but he figured if he got it running, he could drive it once he was older. He watched videos and took classes. He learned about how every piece worked and what it did and how to tell if something needed to be replaced.
It took him two summers to even get it to start, and another two to get it to run well enough to drive. Just in time for him to turn 18 and get his drivers' license. Just in time for him to move back to Almaty. And last summer was when it finally felt reliable.
He had poured his heart and soul into that bike for years now, and it was just… gone. He felt like he'd lost a friend. Yes, he could just buy a new one. He had the money. But that would never replace the one he had worked so hard on. The one he had spent years getting to know.
The front door opened and closed, and Yuri called out that he was home. Otabek didn't reply, not trusting his voice not to crack. Yuri appeared in front of him a few minutes later. "Hey, are you alright?"
Otabek nodded and took a deep breath. "There was a fire at my parents house today."
Before he could say anymore, Yuri gasped and asked loudly, "oh no, is everyone okay?"
"Yes. No one was hurt. It was just the shed out back. It burned down, along with everything in it. Yuri… my motorcycle was in there."
Yuri sucked in a deep breath. "Not the one you've worked on for years."
Otabek nodded and before he could say anything else he was wrapped up in Yuri's arms, his face in Yuri's shoulder. "I'm so sorry. That's awful. I know how much you loved that bike. Is there anything I can do?"
Yuri pulled away and Otabek shook his head. "No. Thank you, though." Yuri walked away and came back less than a minute later. Otabek didn't look up, but Yuri's pale hand came into view, holding a familiar tiger. He bopped Otabek on the nose with it. It made Otabek smile softly and take it.
"He helps." Yuri said softly, and Otabek cradled the small stuffed animal in his hands.
"Why don't we have a cheat day today? I'll make piroshki. Nothing soothes better than homemade piroshki." Yuri said.
"That sounds good." Of course, Yuri would resort to comfort through his grandfather's piroshkis. Otabek had to admit that Yuri was on the right track, and he was well on his way to finding comfort in them as well. However, he figured it probably had less to do with the actual food and more to do with the fact that Yuri made them. He would have been happier with anything Yuri made, if he was making it for Otabek.