just like a blue gem shining

By: Aviantei

Part Three:

"Your Echo, My Echo"

Zenitsu's always been able to hear things well, even when he's unconscious, so it's not all that surprising whenever a somewhat jarring noise disturbs him from his rest. He shuffles closer into the blankets, trying to relax enough to slip back into sleep—except he hears it again, this time with enough awareness to recognize it, and Zenitsu sits up, trying to untangle himself from the blankets before half-stumbling to his bedroom door.

There's a lot that Zenitsu likes about living in this home again as Jī-chan's student—first and foremost , knowing that he's still Jī-chan's student and not the co-head of house, among everything else that resetting to the beginning has allowed Zenitsu to fix—but there's also a lot he doesn't like. Having to try not to make a racket in the middle of the night as Rairi's crying in the room next door just so happens to be the biggest issue he has right now.

Zenitsu tugs the door open, his bare feet padding against the cool tatami mats as he steps inside and shuts the door behind him. Before, they would be in the same bed together, and Zenitsu could have comforted them right away; the extra half a minute feels like far too long. But Zenitsu's there now, sitting on the edge of their futon, and he tentatively reaches out a hand.

"Senpai…?"

"…Don't have to call me 'Senpai.'"

Their voice is weak and watery, but the answer is what matters, even as Rairi releases another sob that they try to muffle. Knowing it's safe, Zenitsu pulls them into his side, stroking their hair. He lost count of the number of times Rairi woke up in the middle of the night, so shaken by a nightmare that they thought they were in the past again. Some of those mindsets weren't the most conductive to being touched, and Zenitsu's earned his fair share of bruises and bloody noses because of it.

(He always tries hard not to think about Mugen Train, about the other nights where Rairi didn't even know who he was, didn't even recognize their own name.)

"Sorry, Rairi," Zenitsu says, and Rairi's hand catches onto the front of his sleep yukata. The other one is clutching at an empty spot around their neck, and that's all Zenitsu needs to guess what their nightmare was about. Zenitsu presses a kiss against Rairi's temple. "Hey, it's okay now. You're awake. It's alright."

He can hear Rairi attempt to choke down a sob, but that sound is more than enough to tug at his heart. "…Kaigaku, he—" A fresh wave of tears wells up in their eyes and soaks through to Zenitsu's chest.

"Aniki's okay, Rairi. He's just over in his room, sleeping. Remember?" Zenitsu hopes they remember. Rairi was happy throughout the decades, but the deaths of both Shimizu and Kaigaku never stopped haunting them; the sound of sadness for those two never left their heart. Zenitsu's still sending thanks to whatever deity made this trip back in time possible for at least taking a piece of that away, and he can't bear the thought of hearing it all over again.

Rairi sucks in their snot. "R-right. Kaigaku's okay. He's really okay." They repeat the words a few times like a mantra, trying to convince themself of that truth. Even so, Rairi's body trembles in Zenitsu's grasp.

Zenitsu rests one of his hands over theirs, squeezing their fingers. "Do you want to see him?" Rairi's vocal cords make a little hum that Zenitsu knows well enough to be the start of a protest, and he gently bonks his skull into theirs. "No. You don't get to worry about disturbing him. He's your partner, too, now. He wants to take care of you." Rairi looks into his eyes in the dark, and Zenitsu smiles. "Remember how you told me I wasn't a burden for needing help? Well, neither are you."

There's a beat, and then Rairi nods. How different things could have been last time, if Kaigaku had always been there for Rairi to hold onto when they missed him. This time is enough, though. But Zenitsu still hesitates to pull away; even if Kaigaku's presence will help, he's not very fond of the idea of leaving Rairi alone for long. Zenitsu settles for pushing their pillow into their arms and dropping a kiss on their forehead.

"I'll be right back, love," he whispers. "Promise."

And so returns the distaste for the current arrangement of his home, since now he has to sneak around again and manage not to disturb Jī-chan—but that's just a cover for Zenitsu's apprehension over the prospect of waking Kaigaku up. One of his least favorite memories from how things were back then is from after Rairi was gone, having just passed Final Selection, and Kaigaku became more irritable and more aggressive as the months stretched on. Zenitsu had gone to the orchard to call his senpai in for dinner, finding Kaigaku napping. When he tried to shake him awake, Kaigaku's reaction had been violent, and Zenitsu had almost ended up with broken fingers and had ended up with a bleeding mouth for his troubles.

Zenitsu had been able to hear the fear in Kaigaku's heart, so he knew his senpai hadn't been seeing him when he lashed out, but it hadn't stopped the rice and the soup and the fish from tasting like copper that night.

So, no, he's not looking forward to trying to find a way to wake up Kaigaku that won't set off his slum-living refined fight response. But, just like before, Zenitsu's willing to walk into danger if it's for Rairi's sake, so he swallows down the anxiety that bubbles up when he stands in front of Kaigaku's room, then raises a hand to knock. His knuckles just scrape the surface when the door slides open.

"What the hell are you doing sneaking around out here for?"

Zenitsu and Kaigaku stare at each other in equal levels of disbelief, and it's the faint vibration of Rairi's muffled sob through the open door that calls Zenitsu back to action. "Rairi," he says in a quiet voice, sort of apologetic that maybe he woke Kaigaku up despite his best efforts but also glad he has one less thing to do. "They had a nightmare. About you." An echo of horror makes the still awakening blood start to rush in Kaigaku's veins, and Zenitsu hurries to correct, "About you dying. They want to see you."

Kaigaku makes a low growl that's rooted more in concern than irritation. "Could have fucking said that in the first place," he mutters, already moving. Zenitsu trails behind him, catching sight of Rairi's face as they glance up at their kōhai's entrance. Whenever Kaigaku talks, it's gentle in a way that Zenitsu had never imagined him capable of before this time. "Hey, Rairi-senpai." Unlike with Zenitsu, Kaigaku's -senpai is a sign that he still cares, that he's not how he was at Infinity Castle. "I'm here. You don't need to cry anymore."

"Jerk," Rairi says with no venom whatsoever, nuzzling into Kaigaku's offered hug. Zenitsu puts the pillow back into its place, watching from the sidelines, listening to Rairi's emotions to make sure they do calm down and aren't just putting on a brave face. Because he's listening so close, Rairi's mumbled Zenitsu catches his attention. They offer out their hand, Zenitsu takes it, and then he's pulled into the hug, too. He and Kaigaku exchange a quick glance that conveys their mutual acceptance of the situation for Rairi's sake. "You're both here, right? I'm not dreaming?"

"It's real," Zenitsu says, hooking his arms around Rairi's waist. "You already woke up, and we're both here."

"We're not going anywhere," Kaigaku says, tightening his hug on Rairi. "It's the three of us this time, and we're all going to make it together."

Fresh tears leak out of Rairi's eyes, but the sound in their heart is a happy one. Most of their panic has abated, and soon the relaxation is lulling them into dozing. "Can you…both stay?" they ask, incoming unconsciousness slurring the words. "I don't want to sleep alone."

Zenitsu was already planning on falling asleep at Rairi's side from the start. However, his plan didn't also account for sharing the space with Kaigaku. Their relationship is much improved over how it was before, no doubt, but they also haven't fixed everything. If Rairi were a little more awake, Zenitsu guesses they wouldn't have even asked out of consideration for them both.

But Rairi did ask, and hearing that Kaigaku feels the same uncertainty as he does helps Zenitsu relax a little. They exchange another glance and reach the same agreeance as before.

"I already said we're not going anywhere," Kaigaku repeats, and Zenitsu nods. There's then much adjustment as they try to find something that works with three people and one futon, and the end result isn't anything luxurious for the boys, but Rairi's already taking soft breaths in the middle, their head tucked into their usual spot on Zenitsu's shoulder with Kaigaku's arm around their waist, and neither of them is anywhere close to willing to wake Rairi up to maybe go get some extra bedding.

"Goodnight," Zenitsu whispers, somehow not surprised that Kaigaku also speaks at the same time.

There isn't a single reverberation of nightmares all the way through to dawn.

Rairi wakes up in a position they haven't in a long time: with the warmth of someone else beside them. There's a moment of confusion—maybe the past several months have been a vivid dream, and they're back in their proper time with Zenitsu, old and at their side. Except they're just half right, because Zenitsu is sleeping beside them, yes, but his face is youthful, and his hair is black. The memories from the night before bleed from impressions of terror to the comfort of their loved ones, and Rairi notes Kaigaku's arm around their waist with satisfaction.

Ah, maybe I should do something special for them later? To show I appreciate them for being there.

The thought is a compelling one, but Rairi shelves it for another time, instead enjoying the morning they've had blessed upon them. They nuzzle against Zenitsu's shoulder and breathe in his familiar scent before lifting up a bit to peck a kiss onto his lips that he sleeps right through. Rairi giggles a bit, enjoying the moment and appreciating just how adorable he is.

"You sound like you're feeling better." Kaigaku's voice is low with grogginess, and it's a treat in itself to hear it so close.

"Yeah." Rairi relaxes back to the futon, keeping their arm around Zenitsu's chest but twisting to look at Kaigaku. At the first possible moment, he sweeps in for a kiss that stays chaste while still having plenty of pressure behind it.

"Good," he says when he pulls back, and Rairi decides that enjoying the feel of being tucked right between their two loved ones must be the best course of action, rather than opening their mouth and having some embarrassing sound or another come out—though Kaigaku keeps a hand pressed against their cheek to make sure Rairi's still looking at him. "If you need me, you come get me. I don't care what stupid excuse you think up not to. You come get me. Got it?"

Rairi nods, the intensity of his devotion still shaking them, despite Kaigaku making it beyond clear many times over. It makes their heart tremble with happiness—though, judging by the faint groan beside them, Zenitsu doesn't share the sentiment.

"Why are you always so aggressive?" he asks with a whine for good measure. "It's too early for that, Aniki. At least try to be cute about it." Kaigaku's arm around Rairi's waist twitches, but Zenitsu's already rolled to his side and caught the limb in between his and Rairi's stomachs before it can lash out. Zenitsu giggles, rubbing his nose against theirs before sneaking in a kiss of his own. "Good morning, love."

"Good morning, sweetie," Rairi says, falling right back in the routine that started every day for so many years of their life. It almost feels like last time—except better, because now Rairi can bend their head back to bump against Kaigaku's chest and smile at him, too. "And good morning to you, as well, darling."

Kaigaku's cheeks dust the faintest of pinks in the early dawn light. "…'Morning."

Rairi giggles again and adjusts so they can stretch one arm apiece out over each of their partners' shoulders, not even caring if the end result leaves their face nowhere much else to go aside from straight into the pillow. Content, they sigh. "Zenitsu, Kaigaku. I love you."

Both boys make twin choking sounds, and Rairi remembers after the fact just how reserved Japanese culture is about speaking your love rather than showing it with actions. Couples will exchange words of affection, but that's something saved for in private. That they used aishiteru isn't helping matters—but Rairi's American sensibilities don't give a shit, so they let Zenitsu and Kaigaku sort out what they're going to do about it, which seems to involve a lot of deer in the headlight looks and gulps and awkward, hurried inhales.

Zenitsu rushes out a daisuki at the same time that Kaigaku mumbles, Aishiteru, and then there's another beat of silence before the explosions start.

"What weak ass shit was that? You were married for how long, and you can't even tell them you love them right?"

"I was being considerate for the situation! You're the one that has no shame!"

"Hah? You're the one that should be ashamed of yourself—"

"Don't even start! My feelings for Rairi are just so special that I want to express the depths of them between the two of us—"

Rairi laughs the hardest they have these days, and the sound brings Kaigaku and Zenitsu to silence, both of them still blushing. "This is great," Rairi says, rolling around onto their back and still chuckling. "Why aren't we doing this every morning?"

Kaigaku harrumphs. "Because three people do not fit on one futon in any world."

"That's easy enough to fix, though," Zenitsu says, his tone thoughtful. "Just bring in another futon or two." He hugs Rairi from the side, nuzzling their cheeks together. "If nothing else, I wanna sleep beside you more, Rairiii. I missed it!"

The turquoise blue of Kaigaku's eyes flick away, and that speaks volumes to his thoughts on the matter. "It wouldn't be the worst thing."

Rairi resists the urge to call him the tsundere he is and smiles, finding Kaigaku's and Zenitsu's hands under the blankets. "I'm sure if it's the three of us, we can sort something out." Even if they have to take turns of who sleeps where and when, it will be nice to have the warmth of one of them so close, to know that someone will be there in the morning to share the beginning of the day.

Their nightmare seemed so terrifying in the dark, but Rairi can't even remember what it was anymore.

[Author's Notes]

Take some polycule fluff! We need some of that up in here!

Thanks to ToonyTwilight and VakerZX for the comment, fave, and follow on the walk steady series, plus to everyone that's left kudos on AO3! The beginning of Hashira Training is nigh in the anime, so I hope you enjoy some more peaceful vibes back here.

I swear I didn't mean for this to go life at the end of the month again, but beta Noiz took care of it for me while visiting this past week, so that's how the timing works out. Thanks as always to them for being super cool.

But, yes, fluff here. They all need some good love to help heal and move on, so that's what we get this time. Self indulgence energy for the win.

Next month will be another blue gem piece, this time with some Sensei perspective! The planned posting date is April 20, so please look forward to it!

-Avi

[31 March 2024]