just like a blue gem shining

By: Aviantei

Part Seven:

"A Spark in the Kindling"

Shimizu manages to wake up in the same place as she fell asleep the next morning, which seems like a miracle. Nice to know Tamayo wasn't just pretending to agree so she could give Shimizu a quiet mercy kill in her sleep.

She sits, squinting through the dimmer light. It makes sense that the clinic doesn't have the curtains open, but it's still disorienting. Sunshine is important for human health and dopamine and a whole bunch of science Shimizu doesn't remember. Point being: sunlight is great for the Depression, that thing Shimizu very much has.

"Probs should ask before opening up, though…" She just managed to make Tamayo consider her an ally, and Yushirō doesn't need any more reason to murder Shimizu. The whole thing sounds like a need for some ground rules to not have too many complications about sharing a base between a human and a couple of demons. The trick is making sure she won't be suspicious just for, like, walking around. She could so see Yushirō hunting her down for going to the bathroom at the wrong time or something. Opening up at least the curtains in the clinic room is starting to seem like a good idea for protection.

Shimizu's stomach rolls over, waking up to hunger. She had some snacks the night before to help with the blood loss, but a replacement for an actual meal that does not make. It's harder than ever with a fresh panic attack still lingering in her skin, but she's trying to take care of herself this round, or at least as much as one can take care of themself whenever they're in a shōnen manga.

If nothing else, she passed out in a clinic with a doctor, and it looks like Tamayo has left the snack basket at her bedside. It's all sugary things to help with the blood loss, but it's better than nothing, and Shimizu eats through a couple of paper packages of konpeito before deciding she's had enough. A peek at a clock reveals it's something close to afternoon, which means it might just be a while before she gets to talk with anyone again.

Well, nothing to do about it. I'll just work on my notes again. While helping out the merchants, she traded some coins for a small thread-bound notebook to keep track of everything. With even more time between her current life and her first one where she read Kimetsu, the details are getting fuzzier, but she puts down her best impressions and supplements them with her own memories of, you know, living through it, even if Canon got changed around pretty hard. More information is better than less, and Shimizu's been working on her notes for fighting Ume and Gyūtarō, so she goes to pull open the curtains to at least let some extra light in whenever a knock resounds on the door.

Shimizu, former member of the Demon Slayer Corps, shrieks like she's just been caught doing something she's not supposed to do.

"Shimizu-san?" Tamayo's voice asks from the other side, concerned. "Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. You just startled me!" Oh, she's making a great impression as a reliable ally, now isn't she? Making sure the curtains are very much shut, she clears her throat. "The blinds are still closed, so you can come in without worry."

Tamayo does so, stepping into the room with graceful ease. It seems that Yushirō isn't there with her, which drains some of the worry from Shimizu's spine, but not all. Tamayo offers an apologetic smile. "Apologies for keeping things shut up. I assume you understand." Shimizu nods; no way she's about to argue with someone who just agreed to a deal that benefits Shimizu way more than Tamayo. "Since you are to stay with us, we can clean out a room upstairs that you can let sunlight into without worry."

Shimizu blinks. "I'm staying with you?" She doesn't know why she's questioning it; it's not like she has anywhere else to go. Maybe it's the more transient nature of her life as a Demon Slayer that's getting to her. "Sorry, sorry. I'm grateful, and I'll stay if you're offering." Even if she has a feeling Yushirō's going to hate her even more now, there's just too much benefit to a Blood Demon Art protected base of operations. "I'm just still kind of stunned you're even agreeing to help me in the first place, so anything past that seems kinda unbelievable. I've…had a long past couple of years."

Long enough that they're time looping now, of all things, but that's neither here nor there.

Tamayo's smile is subtle, gentle, and genuine to the core. "Perhaps that's why I wished to help you. I can recognize a similar weariness to myself in you." Perhaps it's a bit too much to call a couple of years anywhere equal to Tamayo's centuries of struggle, but Shimizu feels touched, regardless. "However, I am not resigned yet. If you can offer some hope, then I will be glad to work with you…though this isn't a conversation fit for here. Would you care to join me for some tea? We can talk over further details somewhere more comfortable."

Shimizu agrees, and soon they've moved to the sitting room that she's pretty sure is where the Kamado siblings chatted with Tamayo in Canon. The woman herself is graceful as she pours their drinks, the movements not unlike a tea ceremony, and Shimizu dips her head in thanks, though she's just a bit surprised to see Tamayo also pouring a cup herself.

"Demons need to consume blood or flesh to survive, yes," Tamayo says, "but we are not incapable of consuming other types of food. We receive very little nutritional benefit from it, though. Neither I nor Yushirō indulge much more than tea, so I'm sorry I don't have much more to offer than this for you. Once things are settled, we can get you some proper food."

"Thank you very much." It's kindness, but Shimizu can't help but feel like there's some hint of practicality in there: Shimizu isn't going to be fighting demons and collecting any blood if she's struggling with malnutrition, that's for sure. Sheesh, when did I get so cynical? "Forgive me for asking, though, but is Yushirō-san going to be okay with this?" Kibutsuji Muzan is out there somewhere, but Yushirō is a much more present and maybe even more dangerous type of threat.

"We discussed matters while you were asleep. He understands that this is for the best. Besides, if you stay with us for the time being, he will be able to keep an eye on you, if you'll forgive me for allowing such a thing."

Shimizu shakes her head. "Mn. I get it. It's fine. You have your location to keep secret. I don't wanna mess that up." Though Shimizu can't shake the feeling that, even if she proves herself trustworthy, that's not going to make Yushirō like her much. "I assume you'll be sending Chachamaru out with me, then?" The kitty pretty much followed Tanjirō around as a messenger, so there's no reason Shimizu won't have the same arrangement.

For a moment, Tamayo looks surprised, though she regains her polite expression the next second. "…Your knowledge is impressive. But, yes, we would like to send Chachamaru with you. That way you can have an escort even in the daylight or whenever you travel farther."

"That's alright with me. I meant what I said. Anything I need to do to prove that I'm trustworthy, I'll do it." Ain't no way she's wasting the chance she's been given.

"Your cooperation is appreciated. As mentioned, we will prepare a room for you to rest in upstairs. Now onto the other matter: You mentioned collecting blood samples," Tamayo says, and Shimizu nods her head fast enough that she thinks her stress headache might come back. "My own research has shown me that there is a connection between the blood and becoming a demon. It was through that I was able to transform Yushirō." (Were he present, Shimizu could imagine Yushirō standing up straighter in pride.) "I have been working under the theory that demonhood can then be 'cured' as if it is a virus."

"That theory is correct." Shimizu doesn't know all the precise details, both through a lack of memory and Canon just not breaking it down all that much, but she knows that for sure. "I wish I could tell you more, but I don't know a lot about medicine. But I do know that it is possible. If I can help at all by hunting demons for blood samples, then I will."

"Then we shall take that approach. If you do not mind, we can get started right away. I have heard that there is a demon preying upon the slums of another ward. While low level demons do not often have much to offer, I would still like you to get a sample from it, Shimizu-san."

"Okay, sounds like a—wait, what?" The words catch up to Shimizu far too late, and she has to doubletake. Not trusting herself, she puts her teacup down a good handful of inches away from her so she doesn't knock it over.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, you're just asking me to do what I said I would. It's just, uh…" Shimizu fidgets, all of a sudden feeling way smaller than usual. "I know how to hunt demons. I even know Total Concentration and Water Breathing. But I…don't have a Nichirin sword anymore. I…lost it." Who knows what even happened to it after—after—

Shimizu takes a gasping breath that she realizes is the precursor to another panic attack. At least it doesn't hit as hard as her one from last night, but it still hits, and trying to count out her breaths can only do so much. She's grasping at herself, but her arm doesn't feel real, feels like some illusion she conjured up to convince herself she's alright when she's not, and then there's the hazy sound of her name, followed by that sweet scent again that pulls Shimizu back town to awareness with a gasp.

"Shimizu-san. Shimizu-san, can you hear me?" Not quite ready to trust herself to speak just yet, Shimizu nods. Tamayo is rubbing gentle circles into her back, and Shimizu focuses on that. "This is the second time you've had such a reaction. Is this common for you?"

It didn't used to be. Sure, depression is something Shimizu's been dealing with for ages, but anxiety was a much less present thing in her life. She halfway knows how to handle it thanks to the internet, but the whole dying again thing means she's very much stuck with a case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that's going to be a bitch to deal with in the middle of Taishō Era Japan with zero therapy and zero understanding of mental health. It's very much not conducive to making massive alterations to Canon in any way shape or form.

When I said I wanted this time to be different, I didn't mean this.

Shimizu swallows, forces the words to come out in a whisper, "It's…recent." Ugh, and now she wants to cry again. At this rate, Shimizu's going to make a Twelfth Water Breathing form. "I don't…think it's going to get better."

Tamayo's painted lips purse, but Shimizu recognizes that the woman is thinking. Now she just hopes it's thinking of a way to help rather than thinking of how much of a liability Shimizu is. "When you are calmer I will ask more questions. If my Blood Demon Art works to relax you, there may be something I might be able to do." Right. Tamayo's a doctor. Of course she'd try to think of a way to help. Too bad it's too risky to just…bring Tamayo along with her everywhere. That would be helpful. "If you would like some more rest—"

"No thank you." The last thing Shimizu wants is to be sitting in bed all day. She had enough of that in her first life, thanks very much. "I…if I get my body moving, I should feel better." Total Concentration just so happens to have the same sort of benefits as controlled breathing in general. Besides, if she can fight, she can feel safer, for what it matters. So of course her stomach decides to remind her that it's been almost a few days since she's had her last meal and there's no way she can handle training like that. "But, uh, Tamayo-san?

"Can I please go out and buy some lunch first?"

With food in her stomach and sunlight on her skin, Shimizu does start to feel better. Chachamaru accompanies her the whole way out, where Shimizu buys some onigiri and shoves a pile of them down her throat at a rate that's pretty darn close to Inosuke's. Afterwards, she takes the coin purse she was gifted and picks up some simple groceries. It's been ages since Shimizu's cooked for herself, but she thinks she can manage a rice pot while enough. Well, no time to learn like the present. Survival instinct will kick in sooner or later.

And from there, a new life settles into place. Shimizu is given a room upstairs, and she takes up residence in the clinic. As predicted, Yushirō scowls anytime he sees her, but he does not argue with Tamayo's wishes. Shimizu alternates between training in the yard (which is enclosed and warded by Yushirō's Blood Demon Art), updating her notes, and helping to clean up the clinic. A week passes, Shimizu inching closer to using Total Concentration for longer periods of time without feeling like she's about to collapse. Total Concentration Constant is a long way off, but at least it's something.

Good thing we're still a couple of years away from Canon. Training takes forever, even if I know what I'm doing. The first time Shimizu watched Kimetsu, she was impressed with the training arc taking a reasonable amount of time for a protagonist to get good without dragging out the narrative. Now, in the present, she kind of wishes it could go by faster, just so she can get out into the field. If nothing else, I would like to at least make contact with the Demon Slayer Corps so I can see Rairi-kun again. They deserve a way better warning than I gave them last time.

Because, all things considered, Shimizu didn't try, now did she? Sure, she meddled a little bit in Canon here and there, like when she and Rairi beat the Hand Demon together, but what did that end up doing? Sure, she shared her notes with Rengoku and Tanjirō and Inosuke, but how much from before could she have changed? And then Rairi—poor Rairi, having to deal with Kaigaku's transformation into a demon because Shimizu couldn't tell them more than You should take care of your kōhai?

I've learned my lesson, universe. I'm gonna do better.

"Shimizu-san?" Shimizu has wandered her way back into the house to take a bath after working up a sweat from her exercises. She would've gone longer, except hunger is getting the best of her yet again, so that's all for the day. Fresh from her wash, the sun has already gone down, so it's no surprise to see Tamayo out and about or talking to her. "Do you have a moment of time to spare?"

"Sure thing, Tamayo-san." Tamayo gestures for Shimizu to follow to the sitting room, so it's not clinic work. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm the one hoping that I'm able to do something for you." As indicated, Shimizu takes a seat, falling into the familiar position of seiza that she learned from Urokodaki-san, even if her new loop legs still haven't fully adjusted to it. Tamayo takes a moment longer to sit herself, and, when she does, she brings over a familiar item and places it down between them. "You mentioned not having a Nichirin sword."

Shimizu swallows. "That's right." There's some mad trust going on here that she's not even sure she deserves. What's next? Tamayo produces some wisteria and gives that to her, too? "This is…wow, I'm not even sure what to say. I mean, thank you, but, like…"

Understanding her confusion, Tamayo smiles. "I believe if you were going to try to harm us or sell us out, you would have done so already." Shimizu guesses? It's been like a month, tops, of her staying around. "Besides, even if you were to try anything, Yushirō's surveillance would notice. I know you are working hard, Shimizu-san, but with your current level of skill, we still have the advantage. And, at any rate, you cannot collect blood samples for us if you do not have a weapon."

It's a neat and logical argument. Still feels surreal af, though. Shimizu starts to reach for the sword, pauses to look to Tamayo, receives a nod of approval, and takes it into her hands. The hilt has a different grip, but the weight is familiar, and there's something so comforting about being armed again. Shimizu has just obtained the most deadly security blanket imaginable. "Where did you…?"

"A few decades ago, while I was still alone, I came across an injured Slayer and attempted to help them. They had…lost the use of their eyes, and their Kasugai Crow had been slain. I intended to be little more than a traveling doctor, keeping them stable, but I was too late. They told me to take their sword to protect myself. It seemed…disrespectful not to see through their last wishes." Shimizu nods, knowing that words aren't going to do much to help. "I believe that if protecting others was their concern, then it would be best for you to have it, Shimizu-san."

Shimizu unsticks her tongue from the roof of her mouth to let out a thick "Thank you." Then, with something that feels like reverence, she draws the blade. Sure enough, there are signs of rust on it, and the edge will need sharpening, but it's not so far gone that Shimizu can't make it workable with a whetstone and some hard work. A swordsmith would be needed to get it into the best possible shape, and she isn't about to go around killing Twelve Kizuki with this thing, but it's more than workable. Because it once had an owner, it's already stained with color, the bright orange red of Flame Breathing.

It feels like Rengoku is standing beside her, his hand on her back in encouragement.

Keep going, Shimizu, my girl. There's still a path forward, so set your heart ablaze.

Shimizu takes a deep breath, feeling the steadiest she has in months.

"Tell me about this demon in the slums."

[Author's Notes]

Me, writing the first bit of this: I'm gonna just write a fix-it and have self-indulgent fluff!
My realistic writer brain: So, yeah, the trauma and angst needs to be worked through first no way around it!

Thanks to Lucifer_Archangel, ToonyTwilight, Neon Silhouette, todokenya, AofX, and Hello_There00 for the comments, and otherwise thanks to anyone who is reading, faving, following, and leaving kudos on walk steady pieces! Y'all keep me going.

But, yeah, Shimizu is still struggling a bit, but she's going forward, one step at a time. Being armed is helpful, too. I hope you all will continue cheering her on!

I did some binge writing, so you can expect consistent blue gem chapters these next months! I don't have a super concrete date, since my weekends will be focused on wrapping up my [Twelve Shots of Summer] project, As the Fox and my ongoing Exception updates.

Next time will be Shimizu's demon hunting hours. Please look forward to it!

-Avi

[31 July 2024]