This had gone too far. How did this conceited Braixen dare suggest she would make a better team leader than me? Who the hell did she think she was? I was the one that had been with our trainer the longest! I had to stop her in her tracks before she got any funny ideas about actually taking my place. And if that meant fighting her, so be it. She would understand the universal language of violence.

With the role of arbiter assigned to Diamie — even if accepted only begrudgingly — Valentine gave me a scowl while her right paw reached for her tail branch, ready to draw it. "You challenge me, even though you are perfectly aware I am the one with the type advantage."

I passed the flower bud between my left and my right a few times to warm my hands up. "Protean."

"I know, I know." The thief of affections was now wielding her wand, and waved it before me in hypnotic motions. "So what are the rules?"

"Rules?"

"We are not wilds." Valentine took a moment to glance at Diamie, keeping her wand low. "Uh, not that there's anything wrong with being a wild." The Brionne dismissed her with a wave of her flipper and a smile. "So what are the rules, then? If you have no preference we can go by gym rules. We can only use three different —"

"No moves!"

"What?"

I held my flower on one paw while pulling on its vine with the other. "No moves!"

Both of Valentine's eyebrows rose. "But then you won't be able to activate Protean?"

"Don't need it to defeat you!"

I lunged forward without another word, flower-weapon in hand, then hurled it at the close-by Braixen in a hacking motion as if it were a bladed arm. But the fox was quick on the uptake and reclined her torso back to barely avoid the impact of my attack. With a pulling motion from my right paw, the yo-yo returned to my left.

Valentine let out a troubled growl, small embers escaping her mouth. "Diamantina didn't say go!"

I sniggered at her as I watched her reaction. "In real life, threats won't forewarn you that they are about to attack. Is that how you plan to defend Jarque? Some leader you would be."

The fire-type bared her fangs at me. "Fine! Have it your way!" She opened her maw wide and released an erratic burst of flames in my general direction, which I avoided with a timely ground roll. That wasn't a move, as agreed. Actual moves like Ember or Fire Spin required concentration and time to prepare, as focused applications of our natural skills wrapped up in intent, marked by efficiency, finesse, and accuracy. What she was doing right now was just spurt flames about in a fit of rage. "You have disliked me ever since we met, Clover! Don't even try to deny it!"

I grew sharp leaves from my arm in a random pattern, and blasted them at her. "I don't deny it! Yes, I wish it had been only me and Jarque since the beginning!"

Valentine tanked the attack head-on, then countered with another unaimed blazing barrage. "I have tried so hard to get along with you, you ungrateful pussycat! I have put so much effort into my training so that you and master could feel proud of me! And all for what? You have never shown any real concern for me!" She began to unleash consecutive torrents of burning heat around me as she spoke, one after the other, as if to limit my movements. "I have tried being nice to you, even when you were rude! I have gone out of my way to give you time alone with master, even though I wanted nothing more than to spend time with him! I have forgiven your mistakes and your egomania! What else am I supposed to do to get you to accept me? How is that not enough?" The last trail of fire she summoned was fainter than the ones before. "Why? Why do you hate me so?"

"Because you've had it too easy!" I gritted my teeth as I looked around me. I was surrounded by a sea of fire. "It must have been real nice growing up in a cushy lab surrounded by people who cared about you and fed you delicious food every day and pampered you with attention. In the lab where I grew up the only warmth I ever received came from my brother and my dad, and it was a lucky day that our cages were close enough for us to even nuzzle each other!" I flung my yo-yo at the thief once more, and followed with a volley of knife-like leaves as the flower returned to my hand. "Then we broke out, and for what? The streets were cold! The grub they gave us at the lab was tasteless, but at least we didn't go hungry! Now we had to steal or rummage through the trash to simply avoid passing out!"

She endured my attacks without answering back, covering herself with her arms. "I already told you I sympathize! But how is that my fault?"

I was barely listening to her. I kept battering her with my hard flower bud as I kept wailing. "But then Jarque and Bera and Mom and all the ladies in black entered my life and I finally understood that happiness is an emotion you can actually feel, and not just an empty word to pad out fairy tales. It felt so good to play with so many people, and everyone was so nice to each other, and there was always food! Every day! And Jarque was amazing and always made my fur feel tingly, and was everything I looked for in a friend, in a partner!" I placed my yo-yo back in its storing place near my neck and pointed at myself. "I have earned this! I have gone through hell, but all these experiences will have been worth it at the end if they lead me to becoming Jarque's right hand! His ace! His lover!" I lunged forward and clawed her across the face, making her cry out. "And now you come out of nowhere, you homewrecker, strolling about out of your pampered life, and think you have a right to his affection?"

Valentine stared at me in silence for a moment, her expression unreadable as she closed one eye due to the claw marks visible on her face, and then stashed her branch back into her fuzzy tail. "Y-Yes!" She suddenly punched my face, but she wasn't a brawny one so I barely felt it. "Yes, I do!" Another punch, but this one hurt a little more. "I am his pokémon and I'm always doing my utmost, making every effort for my trainer and his team! So why shouldn't I want him to reward me with warmth and tenderness?"

"Y-You…!" I sprouted twin leaves out of each of my paws, long and sharp as needles. "You love him! You love him and want him to love you back! Don't even try to hide it!"

The Braixen raised her closed fists in front of her face, enveloping her paws in a coat of burning scarlet. "Does it look to you like I'm hiding it?"

My worst fears confirmed. It was obvious by the way the Braixen acted around him anyway. I shouted at the top of my lungs as I pounced at her to further mark her pretty face with my edged leaves, all while she jabbed me in the ribs and cheeks with her fire-enveloped fists. Even if the Braixen wasn't physically strong, I still howled in pain as her fiery fists burned off some of my fur, just as she whined as my green razors drew blood across her face.

We both heard Diamie shout something out. Neither of us cared.

I glared at the vixen as she shook her fists until her flames went out. "I used to be the strongest in Jarque's eyes, and then you come along with your fire magic and your psionic strikes!" I brought a paw to my lightly burned cheek to nurse it. The fur would regrow, but I would have a darkened patch there for a few days. "I used to be the cutest and his favorite to pet, and then you come along with your cute face and that warm fur!" I felt my claws inadvertently sinking into my cheeks as I glared at her beautiful body. "And I would have been the prettiest and sexiest too, if it weren't for you and those hypnotic curves!" I let my arms hang down. "I used to be the center of his life, and then…"

When I realized it Diamie was now posted between the Braixen and me, standing upright on her hind flippers as she laterally extended her front flippers towards each of us as if telling us to stop.

Valentine cleaned some blood off her face as she gave me a more temperate but not gentle look. "I… was not expecting jealousy to be the motive behind your antipathy, Clover."

"I'm not…"

I felt a trembling in my knees. It suddenly came to me as a flood. I suddenly realized how much my body hurt and how pathetic I felt. What was I doing, fighting against a teammate? What kind of leader would allow this, much less incite it? What would Jarque think of me, of us? I stared at the Braixen that stood across from me, her heavy panting mimicking my own. Those scratch marks spoiling her face would wear off in a few hours, so I couldn't feel too bad about it. And yet, she still remained as elegant and beautiful as ever.

My lips trembled as the underside of my eyes began to water. Don't cry. Don't you dare. "Valentine. You're so much better than me in every regard. You were never malnourished, so you are taller than me. You were raised by loving and wise people that tutored you, so you are more mannerly, more intelligent, more elegant, a better partner. And of course you have better genes since you were born from gym-level parents, so you are mightier and more attractive. So how could I not resent you for it, when you hit the fucking jackpot when it comes to both genetics and environment? And, like, I'm not going to blame you for playing the cards you've been dealt. I know it's stupid to be angry at you for something that's out of your control. But at the end of the day, what man wouldn't pick you? Why wouldn't Jarque prefer you over me? How can I… How can I possibly compete? In a fair world, you would be the one by his side."

Diamie opened her mouth, but Valentine shushed her and proceeded to speak instead, her tone far more docile than moments ago. "Don't you think you're selling yourself a little short, Clover? You are excellent in combat, and while I appreciate your praise, we all have our strong and weak points. You're for instance much faster than me. And, um, maybe I'm the one that's more stereotypically girly and feminine, but you have this intense and wild charm that I'm sure is very appealing to most males too. And you're an absolute stunner no matter how you look at it! In truth —" Valentine winced for a second as Diamie rubbed a flipper on her face to clean her and remove dirt and blood. "I-In truth, I'm jealous of you too, Clover."

I weakly shook my head. "You're just saying that —" Ouch! Diamie applied a small amount of water on my burn to soothe the pain. "Uh, you're just saying that to be nice."

"I mean it! I'm so envious of your relationship with master. You are so inseparable, so devoted to each other! When…" Valentine felt silent for an instant as she looked down to her fidgeting hands, as if debating whether to go on talking. "When I was small, Adelaide, the lab's Delphox, would always read me these fun and heartwarming stories about humans and pokémon teaming up, sticking together thought thick and thin and developing the deepest of bonds. I wanted that! I wanted that so bad! As fellow starter pokémon, I'm sure both of you understand what I mean." I gave a firm nod, and Diamie gave a fainter one. Since Diamie was raised a wild pokémon she was perhaps less used to dealing with humans, but it was obvious by now that she had a soft spot for them. "And when I finally got my chance to shine, when I was finally old enough to be matched up to a human… I screwed it all up."

Diamie didn't waste a second to come to her defense. "Don't be so defeatist! Things might have gotten a little awkward in the team as of late, but I'm sure with time we will —"

"I wasn't talking about Jarque. I was talking about my previous trainer."

Diamie gawked at the Braixen with an open mouth, tilting her head at the same speed her eyes widened. "Jarque isn't your first trainer?" Ah. Of course, this was the first time Diamie had heard of this. I was the only one to know. Valentine had accidentally blurted it out during our last gym dance at the Chalice Coastline, but I was the only one within earshot back then. I was rather surprised that she finally seemed willing to reveal this on her own. I was still irked that she had kept this from all of us.

The fox spoke for a long time, in a bit of a melancholic tone, and we thought it only polite to listen. "It was roughly one year before joining Jarque. I had reached that age where we're old enough to explore the world and protect our humans, and so they asked me if I wanted a human partner. I of course said yes. So the people at the lab gathered me and a few other starter pokémon my age and were quick to find some newbie trainers willing to pair up with us." A wistful smile was drawn across her face. "It is then that she picked me. She didn't hesitate. She said I was the cutest, and she liked desert pokémon. And I was so happy to finally have a trainer to call my own! I was her first pokémon, and we hit it off in no time. I used to be one of the strongest and smartest pokémon at the lab, so I was pretty sure of myself and thought we would make it far, very far. She was so nice and so sweet to me, so I wanted to win her all the battles so that she would be very proud of me and would appreciate me even more."

I felt a fluttering in my chest. I wouldn't be caught dead admitting it, but was I… sympathizing? Back when I lived with Jarque at Home, at the orphanage, we used to be the strongest around too. We thought winning the League's challenge would be child's play. We were soon proven wrong.

But I said nothing. Only listened. "She caught some pokémon other than me, since Baraja's gym battles are doubles and all that, but I was always the light of her eyes. Then we challenged the first gym, the dragon gym, and…" Her already faint smile disappeared, and I could already predict how her story ended. "…and we lost. B-But it was okay. I wasn't so arrogant as to think we would always succeed at first try. The stories Adelaide told us at the lab spoke of brave trainer heroes that ever tried again, never giving up no matter how many times they tripped and fell, and never letting a setback mar the treasured bonds with their pokémon, for that was what was most precious to them. My trainer — my ex-trainer was down that we had lost our first important battle, but she was resolute and pressed on, cheering us on all the way! She never blamed us, even though I was well aware I had committed plenty of mistakes."

There was a brief pregnant silence that felt a little too tense. "Then just like Jarque," Diamie said, "from what you two told me."

Valentine nodded. I think. It was a very faint movement. "With renewed strength we dared to challenge the dragon gym once more… and we again lost. And my old trainer was devastated. I was too. Why was I losing time and time again? I used to be the shining star of the lab. Everyone always told me that I had the brightest of futures ahead, and that I would make whoever became my trainer very happy and very proud, and everyone would envy them for having such a reliable starter." She stomped on the ground with one of her frail legs, not angry, but not in perfect control of her emotions. "This was not how my story was supposed to go. This is not how I had always pictured it as a kid. In my childish fantasies I always won all battles with ease and then my trainer would cherish me and become my best friend. But every time we lost I felt her becoming colder and more distant…"

Diamie massaged her waist, as if telling her she didn't need to go on. She went on. "The third battle was our last chance. In Baraja, losing three times against the same gym leader means you cannot keep competing in the League. But my previous trainer was then contacted by someone offering a strong fully-evolved pokémon for a high sum. My old trainer came from a relatively well-off family, so she took the deal. We fought the rematch against the gym, and I fell defeated in battle, very early. I simply wasn't strong enough. But the new pokémon was powerful enough to solo the gym on his own, so at least my ex-trainer finally got her first badge. I remember the gym leader not being too happy about it, but who cares? My dear trainer finally got one badge!"

"She wasn't even angry at me that I had been defeated. She didn't shout at me, or hit me, or even criticize me. She just started to pay me less and less attention, not outright neglecting me, but definitely pouring most of her time and resources on the newcomer. Maybe she would occasionally pet me or praise me for defeating weak wild pokémon, and that meant the world to me. I was sure that if I put in a little extra effort we could go back to how things used to be between us. That we could be friends again, and laugh and have fun together as we used to. I had to believe that." She forced a smile as she rubbed her eye. She wasn't crying. Not yet. "But next time, it was my ex-trainer herself that got into contact with the man that had sold her the pokémon, wanting to buy a few more to round out her team. I couldn't even blame her. I was not fulfilling her expectations, and who wouldn't want to have a strong team?"

"Then we fought some more gyms. The poison one was next. I was defeated again, but the rest of the team won her the badge. For the next gym, the fire one, she didn't even bother sending me out. We talked less and less, and she barely even petted me or told me how cute I looked anymore. I trained really hard, I swear for all I hold dear that I really did, but I couldn't compete with the rare fully-evolved pokémon she had bought." She rubbed her eyes again, but somehow kept herself from crying even though it was obvious she wanted to. "Eventually, my ex-trainer dropped by the laboratory to return me to the professor, arguing that I wasn't meant for battle."

Valentine gave herself a hug. Her lips were trembling and I could tell she had a bit of a runny nose, but no tears would come out. Diamie gave her a tight hug and told her reassuring things as she nuzzled her. And I just stood there. Not knowing what to say or do. Well aware that, as a leader, this is the kind of situation where I was supposed to involve myself to cheer up a fellow teammate.

Valentine glared at me. Her orange eyes looked sad, filled not with hate but frustration. "So when I met you and I realized that you had the exact kind of relationship with our trainer I had always dreamed of… I thought you were so lucky, Clover. So fortunate. I, um, kind of resented you a little, honestly. I wished at the time that I had been the one to meet Jarque first. I wished he had been my first trainer. Then I would have lived the life I had always dreamed of." She pulled at her fur-skirt. "Still, I understand that's not your fault. Who am I to complain about my life after all you had to go through? No, you absolutely do deserve Jarque more than I do."

"Valentine…?"

She hurriedly turned around. If I didn't know any better, I would think she wanted to hide her facial expression. "You won the fight. I'm going for a walk." She took a few steps towards the distant thickets. Diamie dragged after her, but once Valentine heard it she stopped to raise a palm towards the Brionne. "Sorry, but I need some time alone right now." She then went on her way, leaving me alone with Diamie as we shared a look of confusion. That didn't feel like a victory.

Valentine's parting left us with only silence. And silence was a terrible thing, as it meant that only my thoughts would capture my attention, and my thoughts were the one thing I couldn't quieten even if I covered my ears. Was there merit in Valentine's words? Did I hog Jarque's attention too much, to the detriment of my peers? Did I truly not care enough about the team? It was easy enough to tell Valentine was angry and didn't mean all the things she said, but it would be foolish to assume that some of her accusations weren't her naked thoughts leaking out.

What would have happened if I had never existed? Jarque would have sooner or later escaped our old Home with his sister and Mom, whether I was there or not. I think I was part of the reason why they left so hurriedly, but I'm certain they would have moved to Baraja at some point regardless. Then Jarque would have visited the professor's lab when he was of age and Valentine would have become his first pokémon. I'm sure they would have hit it off and became fast friends. Jarque would have an ace that would be stronger than me, wiser than me, and sexier than me, and Valentine would get doted on and would be the closest to her trainer's heart as she had always wished. She is on the shier side so it probably would have taken them a little longer to first partake in a dance of love, but I had no doubt that sooner or later they would be tightening their bond in the most animal of fashions. They would both be better off.

Instead, since I was born and happened to meet with Jarque by sheer chance, now he was stuck with a subpar pokémon like me as his team's ace, and Valentine had to make do playing second fiddle. Heck, even Diamie would be happier off following a responsible leader like Valentine instead of me. As if able to tell I was thinking of her, Diamie began to rub a comforting flipper over my leg. See? This is how a leader is meant to act, caring for her teammates if they ever looked down. Even if Diamie said otherwise, I knew even she would make a much better leader than me.

"Maybe Valentine's right," I told her. "Maybe it would have been best for everyone if I had never met Jarque, if I had never been born."

She fired a rather terrifying glare at me that gave me pause. I didn't even know her cute face could adopt such a somber expression. "That's not the kind of thing one should say even as a joke." Her expression mellowed as she gave me a hug, making me wince as she pressed against some of my burnt fur. "I'm sure Valentine just needs a bit of time to sort her thoughts. But know Jarque is very happy to have you as our team's leader. Don't question that."

There was a question I wanted to ask, but I needed a second to gather the courage. "Diamie, do you think I make a good leader?"

The little yelp that escaped her did little to comfort me. "O-Of course! I mean, no one is perfect, we know that, but you are doing an excellent job at leading us all, chief!"

I gave her my most serious stare. "Please, be brutally honest with me."

"Heavens, Clover." She glanced down, smiling but making sure to avoid looking me in the eye as she spoke. "I, uh, don't really like drama, okay? I'm not good with it. So this whole thing is just… I genuinely don't think you're a bad leader, chief. Out of all of us you are the one that knows Jarque best. Valentine has an easier time since she can communicate directly with our trainer, but I neither speak the language of the humans nor have telepathy. So I find it a lot harder to get along with him and fit in the team. I have to depend on you acting as an intermediary between Jarque and me, having you relay to him anything I have to say. And I think you're doing fine in that regard, chief."

"You don't think I'm a little selfish?"

"Uh, yes. I just never thought much of it, since self-interest and self-seeking behavior are kind of the norm in the wild. I don't think Valentine is angry that you care more about Jarque than about us. You are his first pokémon, so that is expected. But she would probably appreciate it if you looked after the rest of the team too, even if not as intensely. Plus she is probably a bit jealous of your relationship with Jarque too."

I closed my eyes, a paw to my forehead. I certainly had a lot to think about. Valentine wasn't a particularly aggressive pokémon, as I had learned in my time with her, so I didn't think she could keep up her animadversion towards me for much longer. She was particularly stressed right now, but she understood this wasn't good for the team and would return to her normal behavior sooner or later. But I didn't want that resentment to continue bubbling up inside her only to burst much later. What should I do in this situation? What was good for me, for her? What would a good leader do…?