Fun fact: Pieri has heterochromia iridum, a disease that causes mismatching eye colors. According to the wiki, the eye that is hidden underneath her hair is green, and it can actually be seen in one of her My Room animations.
Love
n. an intense feeling of affection ; v. to feel a deep affectionate, romantic, or sexual attachment.
Flannel's first kiss with Nishiki was a remarkable event. That is to say, Flannel worried about their relationship, and if it would change drastically afterward. Not that it should, but sometimes, adding romance in a world of friendship mixes things up to the point where they become inseparable. He dreaded the possibility that confessing his love to Nishiki (in an indirect way, because Flannel was still too prideful to just straight up say "I love you" and all that nonsense) warped their relationship, and that they would never be able to go back to the way things were.
So, Flannel was extremely happy to find out that things didn't get worse.
In fact, they only got better.
The two of them were still best of friends as always. They were constantly at each other's side, and they favored each other over anyone else in the army. It was clear to the other soldiers that the two of them had solidified their relationship, and most people expected to see them together rather than apart. They still carried out all their tasks, fought against the same enemies, and did the same things as they did before the kiss.
Only now, they got to make out in secret whenever they wanted. And it was too easy, because Nishiki was a bigger tease than he let on, and Flannel was (un)surprisingly more receptive to romance. They'd sneak away often to explore, and in those moments where it was only them and the natural world in which they lived, Flannel wouldn't hesitate to pin Nishiki up against something, and kiss the daylights out of him.
The best part of doing that was, occasionally, Nishiki would get caught off guard. At times like that, his eyes went wide, his voice went small, and his face turned the perfect shade of pink. On those days, Flannel could get away with slipping in some tongue, or some light choking, all of which worked to produce unbidden moans from Nishiki's mouth. And Flannel would show that not only was he a bit more romantic than he'd let on, but he was twice as cruel as he wouldn't let the sounds escape fully. He'd eat them up in kisses and kisses and kisses galore, until Nishiki had to beg for air and Flannel finally let him go.
Of course, when the tables were turned—when Nishiki grabbed Flannel by the wrist, commanded his attention, and dominated his love—it was a much different story. Those were times where Flannel felt as if he'd been set aflame, because every part of him burned and simmered underneath Nishiki's warmth. On those days, Flannel would be teased in every way possible, and he wouldn't hear the end of it until the next day, where Nishiki would shift gears and act as innocently as possible—another attempt at riling him up.
Really, of the two of them, Nishiki was far more dangerous than Flannel could ever hope to be.
Not that anyone else would know.
Even though they weren't ashamed of their relationship, they both preferred being more intimate in private settings. Although there was no confusing it at camp—everyone knew that there was a strong relationship between the two beasts, and no amount of public affection (or lack thereof) could change that.
Of course, they both considered going further in their curiosity than just hot and heavy kisses. Neither of them were inexperienced with sexual exploration, but they were equally relieved to know that they both preferred to take things at a certain pace. Wolves and foxes often mated for life, after all, even though they were open to other relationships otherwise. And although they weren't certain that this relationship could be permanent, they knew one thing was for sure.
It wouldn't be long before they started getting more intimate in their relationship. Yet it seemed that Flannel was more preoccupied with those kinds of thoughts than Nishiki was. When Flannel thought of Nishiki, he sometimes imagined what his perfect body would look like underneath him, and what kind of face he would make when pressed between Flannel and the ground, with nothing but stars in his eyes and fire in his skin.
It was at that point when Flannel knew that for the first time in his life—in spite of any doubts he might have had prior to—he truly loved someone. He loved someone so much that he wanted every inch of them to be his, and he wanted his name to be the one sighed out between beautiful lips. For the first time in his life, Flannel felt that he loved someone so much that he would give up his body and soul if that was what it took to be together forever.
He just wanted Nishiki so badly that he couldn't help but hope that Nishiki wanted him, too.
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"It's snowing!" Pieri exclaimed. Her face was pressed against the window, and when she pulled back, she checked her cheeks for frost. "It's so pretty!"
"Yeah, it is." Flannel muttered. He flung the wash cloth around, not interested in the dirty tables that he had to clean up. Next to latrine and shower detail, mess hall shifts were some of his least favorite tasks to do. He loved to collect trinkets and discarded objects, sure, but he hated cleaning needlessly. He supposed that being in an army like Kamui's had its ups and downs, but the biggest down was the fact that he had to do all these mundane things, simply because he was a cog in the machine.
Pieri knew this—Flannel always complained as much—but she still liked the idea of working beside him, anyway. Ever since their escapade at Mount Garou, she felt closer to Flannel, and thought that she was getting to know him even better. As a result, she tied her hair differently on this day, pulling all the blue-and-pink mass into a single ponytail, in order to avoid getting her hair everywhere. After all, she was the best cook in the army, and it would be such a shame if she ruined her own reputation by getting some hair in the soup pots, or something.
Flannel did a double take on her after glancing away from the snow. He gaped, "Your eyes!"
"Yes?"
"Well, I mean, you always wear your hair to one side of your face, so I always wondered what was underneath."
"Hahaha, very funny," she huffed. "Let Pieri guess: you think it's hilarious, right? You thought she had a missing eye or something. Well, she doesn't!" Pieri looked away, turning red out of embarrassment. "Are you making fun of Pieri? Do you wanna get stabbed?"
"I wasn't trying to make fun of you," Flannel insisted. He picked up the washcloth, and wiped down one of the tables before speaking up again. "I think your eyes are really cool. Pretty, too."
She was surprised to hear that. Her irises were dissimilar in color, after all. The one eye that people usually saw was a bloody red color, and the other eye that was usually hidden was a startling shade of green. In her youth, she was often teased over this difference, and so she made it a habit to hide the green eye that she disliked.
It was her mother's eye color, after all.
She couldn't handle it if she saw green eyes in the mirror every day.
Yet, she did grow to like her own appearance over time. The habit became less out of self-deprecation, and more out of consistency. She spent so long covering up, she might as well continue to do so. This mess-hall cleaning was a rare occurrence where she needed to wear her hair up. Although today, Pieri also made a point of clipping her fringe, as well.
Pieri couldn't express how happy she was that Flannel actually liked the way she looked.
She smiled. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
They continued their work in relative silence. Occasionally, Flannel would sigh, until Pieri decided to help him with his tasks. She wiped down the chairs and benches, while Flannel did some heavy duty work on the tables. They cleaned in tandem, arms outreaching in similar strokes. Sometimes, their elbows bumped together, or they shoved into each other by accident. Every time something like that happened, Pieri would look up and see Flannel's stubborn face. And every time, he would mutter a flustered apology under his breath.
When this happened, she couldn't help but notice how chapped and sore and bruised his lips looked these days. Not to mention that his eyes—which were a similar red color to hers—were kinder, fuller, and less sharp-looking. Even the way he walked and talked was somehow different. Although Flannel had always been kind, there was a sort of roughness about him that set him apart from the others.
That part of him felt subdued today.
She wondered why.
Pieri wasn't used to thinking about people so much, though. Her past was covered in blood and guts, and her present wasn't that much different. Up until now, she only considered people as dead or alive—meaty things to be stabbed or friends that help stab things. She was a tool at Lord Marx's disposal, and that was a position she felt comfortable fulfilling. The man saved her, after all, when she was drowned in madness so great she could have done something as drastic as commit mass murder, or even take her own life.
Pieri used to think about her mother a lot, until that grew to be too much, as well, so she tried her hardest to avoid those topics. Pieri was never a "people" person, so how was it that she felt a close connection to a wolf, of all things?
Granted, this was the same wolf that showed off his home to her, and acted so graciously and understanding towards her that she wished she met him earlier in her life, somehow.
Yes, Pieri felt the stirring of something in her chest whenever she looked at Flannel, and it scared her to death.
The last time she felt this way about someone, that person died, and she was helpless as their blood spilled through the cracks in her fingers.
She hoped this time would be different.
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Orochi sighed in frustration. Today was, quite possibly, one of the most miserable days of her life. Not only were her fortunes averted, but they were completely wrong as the opposite effect happened. Hinata was supposed to conquer his greatest foe, but was nearly killed in battle, instead, when unexpected reinforcements arrived. Belka was supposed to find great fortune, but ended up losing all her pocket money in a scrap, instead. Setsuna was supposed to be trap-free, for once, but broke a new record of "traps fallen into during a single day." She insisted that it was meant to be, but Orochi knew better.
The worst of it was Asama. Orochi had finally foreseen great disaster in his future, but instead the monk had the misfortune of hitting the lottery, and succeeding in obtaining Elfie's heart, as well. The diviner predicted his tears and agony, not his sudden milk money or new wife.
When he appeared before her, she didn't even try to hide her displeasure. She groaned loudly, and cursed the stupid smile on his stupid face. If she wasn't so sad, then she'd have half a mind to punch him, instead. "Not now, Asama. Go be cynical elsewhere."
"Oh? No jokes? No spells to curse the daylights out of me? Strange, Orochi. Have the Gods somehow replaced the you I know with some lackluster copy?"
"No," she deadpanned. "Can't a retainer just have a bad day, for once? Especially a retainer like me, who has seen the future and what it holds. Supposedly."
"Retainers are generally discouraged from doing anything that could distract them from protecting their master," Asama pointed out. "Although, I guess in your case, it doesn't matter."
She winced at his words. They weren't as straightforward as usual, but she knew their intent. Of course, the heretic had been referring to Lady Mikoto, and her death had left Orochi without a true purpose in the world of retainers. For her to be called out on that misfortune, however, was extremely harsh. More harsh than she should have been able to tolerate.
But what was the point of pretending? Especially when the monk could see through her so easily.
"I have no idea what Elfie sees in you," she insisted. "You're inhumanely cruel, Asama."
"Elfie and I have a shared philosophy. We both want to protect each other and the ones that we deem important. The fact that we love each other is an asides," he explained. "But, I don't mean to speak of the queen's name in vain. You're terrible and shrewd, Orochi, but no one loved Queen Mikoto like you did. I'm sure that she would disapprove of all your sighing and eye rolling, however."
"Poor Elfie doesn't know what she's in for," Orochi bemoaned. "But if you can love someone, then how come it's so hard for me?" She threw up her hands in defeat. "Of course Lady Mikoto would scold me, though. She'd say that I was better than this, or something. She'd tell me to live a little. But the truth is that I haven't learned anything about love since then."
"That's probably because you're so stubborn and you like to play with people's feelings," Asama answered in a voice too cheery for Orochi's liking. "But it must be serious if you're venting to me! What poor soul has the misfortune of being your current object of affection?"
"Shut up," Orochi sneered. "Like I would tell you, of all people."
"Why wouldn't you? Unless it's me you've fallen in love with, and in that case I can't help but laugh! Poor you, falling in love with a married man. How scandalous!"
"You pig-head! Of course it's not you. Married or not, you're the last man I'd fall in love with."
"Ouch. I'm hurting, really, I am. But if you don't want to get that monkey off your back, fine, it's no harm done to me. You can wallow in your self pity for all I care!" Asama taunted. "But if you keep lazing around like this, you'll probably never get Nishiki to love you back."
She gasped. "W-What? How did you know it was Nishiki?!"
"I didn't!" Asama cheered. "Honestly, I just came up with the first name I could think of. But, seriously? You're in love with Nishiki?"
Orochi stomped her feet, clenched her fists, and cursed him with every bad word she knew. When she calmed down enough, she finally said, "You dirty little sneak! You tricked me! But now you know, so it doesn't even matter. Yes, Asama, I'm in love with Nishiki. There. Just run off and tell him, why don't you?"
"Ha! How funny! But I'm not going to tell him. I think if you love him, that's something you have to tell him yourself!" He wagged a finger, and tsk-ed her with as much patronization as he possibly could. "Are you so selfish, Orochi, that you would dump that responsibility on someone else?"
"I'm not selfish! And I wasn't going to leave that to anyone, I just figured you would have told him ahead of time, because you just love teasing me."
"I do love teasing you," he admitted. "But it's obviously so much more agonizing for you to tell him yourself! Correction: for you to struggle to tell him yourself! So I'll keep my mouth shut for now!"
"Just go away," she sighed out. "You're making things worse."
"Most likely. But if there's one thing I know about Nishiki, it's that he's clueless. He wouldn't really know how someone felt about him unless they showed him. So if you don't show him or tell him, he'll never know. Then, the war will end and he'll go back to his village and you'll never see him again!"
"...Asama..."
"But, that's enough for today. I would love to stay and watch you get torn up inside, but I am married and I should spend my time with the one person that actually means something to me. Good day, Orochi."
Asama gave a lasting smile, before turning his back on the diviner. She watched his silly outline walk farther away, and she stared at him all the while, hoping that her stare was intense enough to set him on fire.
There were no flames as he completely faded from view. Orochi was left to her own devices, and for once, she was grateful to be alone, because it meant she could finally breathe.
Yet as terrible as Asama was, she knew he was right. She had to tell Nishiki how she felt about him, before it was too late. She had to strike while the iron was hot! Because even if he didn't feel the same way about her, or even if he secretly detested her, Orochi had to make it clear where she stood emotionally.
And that, she thought, is the most unpredictable misfortune I've had yet to bear.
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Perhaps it was the delirium that comes with falling in love with someone, but Flannel simply had to tell Nishiki he loved him. He never said those words to anyone outside of family before. Even then, he seldom told his fellow wolves that he loved him, because his affection showed in his actions more so than his words. Perhaps it was a bad habit inherited from his father, but Flannel hated being truthful and showing more of his true emotions than was necessary.
He didn't know why he hated it so much, because he failed to understand that he was afraid of getting hurt, so he'd rather lie and avoid the situation entirely.
But that was an asides.
Nishiki was so sincere and compassionate, Flannel knew he deserved more than just a confession. Of course, he loved to love him—he enjoyed their kisses and touches here and there—but he knew that there was something to be had in cementing their relationship, as well. A simple few words like "I love you" were enough to solidify their reality. And once he did that, Flannel would have an easier time admitting that he wanted more than just warm lips and bloody teeth. He loved those things, nevertheless, but he wanted more.
And maybe a little more after that, too.
How would he go about telling him, then? Would he say 'Hi I love you let's go fuck now' or 'Gods you make me feel like the morning is worth waking up to' or 'you're better than anything in my collection and twice as pretty' or 'hey can I take your shirt off but like in a way where we're still cool' or 'I've never felt this way about anyone before' or 'I don't want to know what life will be like without you' or 'My head is so loud and when you kiss me it's quiet and I can hear the universe around us and your heartbeat is like a drum and I love every minute of it?'
There was no way of knowing which approach would work, if any, but Flannel couldn't hesitate any longer. There was nothing that kept their bond permanent and closed, and there was no telling if someone or another wanted Nishiki's heart the same way Flannel did. He knew that foxes were a bit more open with relationships than wolves were, and to Nishiki, this could be nothing more than a temporary distraction until he goes home at the end of the day. Needless to say, if he didn't make a move now, it would be too late.
And Flannel would never forgive himself if he let the light of his life slip through his fingers like the fading sunshine he was.
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Orochi had to tell Nishiki she loved him. She knew it, Asama knew it, and if she told her best friend Kagerou, then she would probably know it, too! Orochi threw her words around so casually that most people had trouble telling if she was serious or not. And yet, she was deadly serious about Nishiki. Maybe it was silly to fall for him now, because they just recently started to get to know each other better. But ever since he acted as her savior in the hamlet, she couldn't help but be smitten with him. And smitten, she was, because by the Gods, she loved the fox boy and his kind smile, warm skin, and sweet voice. She loved his hair, his eyes, and his hands—especially when they brushed against hers.
She loved his sincerity and resilience, even if she was dishonest and petty, herself. She loved it when he did things as simple as greet her hello, talk to her, or even walk next to her. She definitely loved it when he would lean in close to her, speak softly in her ears, or ruffle the strands of her violet hair. It drove her wild, and her heart thrashed out of her chest every time he messed with her like that.
She wanted more.
How would she tell him, then? Would she say 'I'm sorry for everything I've done but I love you so much' or 'Gods I can't believe I'm saying this but I think I love you' or 'The nights get lonely and I feel better when I think about you' or 'Let me repay you for your unending kindness' or 'I'll do anything to be a part of your life forever' or 'I don't know what love is can you teach me' or 'My head is empty and bare but when you're near me it's so loud and the universe is quiet and my heartbeat is still and it's like I want to die and live at the same time?'
Although she thought hard about it, nothing seemed appropriate. Probably because she felt as if she didn't quite earn the right to love him. These feelings for him were similar to that of a schoolgirl crush, or those of a naive young woman who admired someone from afar, too afraid to get close. Her love life hadn't been very good up to this point, so maybe she was like a little girl, who fell in love with the idea of falling in love all over again. Through all this uncertainty, one thing was for sure.
It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
And Orochi loved him so much that she would never forgive herself if she let Nishiki slip through her fingers, which were as cold and icy as the moon.
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The snow didn't stop. Nishiki wandered away from camp, and sat underneath a large tree, where he watched the snowfall in peace. He caught a few snowflakes on his tongue, and laughed quietly to himself as they melted.
It was so fun and so beautiful. It was the kind of scenery that one could get lost in, and Nishiki thought to himself that he wouldn't mind staying there for a long time, and he'd enjoy every minute of this winter wonderland in its fullest. Then, all his worries would fade away, and he would become the happiest person alive.
Because he did have his fair share of worries.
One of them was Flannel, of course. Their affections were high since the first kiss, and they often kissed and hugged and embraced in private. They hadn't yet announced any sort of formal relationship, but doing that was more of a human thing, anyway. Nishiki had a bit of a more flexible idea of love, although he was well-versed in the singularity of monogamy. He knew that Flannel was probably a bit more secretive in the sense that he wanted one person to be his only.
Nishiki was different, obviously. He had romantic partners in the past, too, and sometimes he had more than one partner at the same time. Everything was consensual, of course, since he never understood the complicated "infidelity" that humans often agonized about. Still, he wasn't as purely inexperienced as he sometimes appeared to be. Whenever Flannel caught him off guard, those were genuine moments, and not just Nishiki playing it off to be more endearing.
Although, that was exactly the problem. Was there something solid between him and Flannel? Of course, they were best friends, and got along swimmingly with each other compared to other Hoshido/Nohr interactions in the army. And before they kissed, they fought and bled for each other, and stayed by one another's side. They worried over each other, they cared for each other, and they told stories and truths that they'd never reveal to anyone else.
Still, it was weird to think that Nishiki could be reined in by any single person. He had a few romantic engagements before that involved one person at a time, and those were more secretive and private, for sure. So since that aligned with his and Flannel's romantic behavior, that had to have meant they were in a relationship now, right?
The answer is either yes or no, but Nishiki hesitated to pick either.
He really didn't want to hurt Flannel. Not that he'd ever hurt him or anyone else he cared about on purpose, but some small part of him doubted this happiness they shared. That part said that this was a momentary thing—a love propelled by disparity in a time of war, love fueled by loneliness that beasts felt when surrounded by humans for too long. Who was to say that their feelings would linger after the war was over? Who was to say they'd even make it that far?
Which lead to the current dilemma: Nishiki couldn't say the words I love you to Flannel yet. He only wanted to be genuine, and he was too much of an overthinker to know if he reached that point yet. This was what he feared, in actuality. He was afraid that Flannel would see this ugly, indecisive side of him, and question ever "loving" him in the first place.
He wished that the snow would blanket him, too, and bury all his worries away.
He was almost relieved when a voice called out to him, pulling him out of his self-induced haze.
"Nishiki?"
He opened his eyes (not even realizing they closed at some point), and saw an image of white and purple standing over him. There was anxiety prevalent in their bright, long-lashed eyes, and a nervous tremble that took control of their own hands. More noticeable than that, however, was the rise and fall of their chest.
Their well-endowed chest, at that.
"Orochi!" he greeted happily. "Let's take a nap together."
She shook her head, and pointed to the heavy winter coat she had on. "It's snowing, remember?"
"Oh, right." He chuckled lightly, then stretched to a lazy yawn before continuing. "So what brings you out here? Isn't it warmer back in camp, anyway?"
"It is cold out here," she agreed. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Okay," he said. Then, he rose to his feet, where at full height he towered over her by half a head, at the very least.
That was another thing she liked about him, Orochi realized. He was tall.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Nishiki asked. His tail swished back and forth behind him in slow, deliberate movements.
She gulped. "Well, uh, let's start with this. Do you mind telling me about how youkos and the kyuubi-no-kitsune handle love?"
"Hmm? What do you mean?"
"Ah, well, I guess this goes without saying, but most humans prefer mono-relationships. Just a one-on-one couple, y'know." She brought her two index fingers together to prove her point. "I wanted to know if foxes were the same."
"Hmm~" Nishiki rocked back and forth on his heels, and only stopped when the answer shone brightly his curious eyes. "Why do you ask, though? I didn't think our culture interested you that much."
"You're joking, right? I've been to your home, Nishiki. Of course I'm interested."
"I was just testing you! But seriously, though, this question came out of nowhere. Are you okay, Orochi?"
"I'm fine," she insisted. Her shaky voice didn't work in her favor, though. "Just answer the question."
"Well, I'd say that foxes are more open." He spread his arms wide, and brought them back in with a giggle. "Yeah, we're definitely more flexible. I've been in multiple relationships before, if that's what you're asking."
A blush settled into her face, and she tried to cover up the worst of it with her hand. When she felt her thrumming heart settle down, her head began reeling with possibilities. This could work, she thought. If he's an open person, this could definitely work.
"So, for example, if someone were to confess to you, and say they love you, would you still try to do the multiple relationships thing?"
"Only if they're okay with it, obviously." Nishiki rolled his eyes. "What kind of person do you take me for, Orochi?"
"Sorry," she mumbled. "I, uh, didn't mean to make that sound bad or anything. I was just wondering."
"No, it's okay. I guess I shouldn't have been so mean just then." Nishiki rubbed at the back of his head and sighed. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling kinda weird, though."
"Actually, that makes this next part easier," Orochi muttered. "Are you currently in a relationship with someone?"
He paused. His tail stopped swishing behind him, and instead fell limp to the ground. Even his ears were downturned, and Orochi mentally cursed at herself for worsening the mood.
Couldn't she do anything right? At least for today, anyway?
"Nishiki, I—"
"Are you trying to ask me something, Orochi?"
"Huh?"
"If you want something from me, all you have to do is ask." Although his voice was incredibly sweet and genuine, Orochi felt as if he had just shouted profanities at her, instead. "You know that, right?"
"...Yes," she conceded. "Yes, I know."
"Okay. Just putting that out there."
"Nishiki, I have something to confess."
He blinked once, twice, three times before he decided to answer. "Go ahead."
"I...I have feelings for you."
"..."
"I think they formed during the trip to the mountains."
"Ah."
Her head hung so low that her neck hurt. His reaction was the shot in the heart she really needed to feel completely awful about herself. She should have given up at this point, but she rationalized with herself the fact that she got this far already, and that there would be no point in turning back. With a faulty confidence, Orochi continued to speak.
"And, well, I think I do care a lot about you."
"Orochi—"
"So, if you're already in a relationship with someone else, that's fine. Even if you're not, and you still don't consider me that way, that's also fine." She nearly bowed before him, eyes brimming with shameful tears. "I just wanted you to know that I care for you. In fact, I even l—"
"—listen to me." Nishiki grabbed her by the shoulders, and shook her until her head craned back up, and her wet, violet eyes were locked with his dry, amber ones.
He felt his own heart plummet downward, a flying spirit brought back to the harsh, grounded reality. "Are you listening now?"
"Yes."
"I like someone else already."
She bit on the inside of her cheek. "Hmm."
"I like them a lot more than I like you."
She bit down harder. "Hmmm."
"But I have to pay you back, right?"
She bit down too hard. She yelped as blood formed on the inside of her cheek—staggering backward while holding her face for comfort. Startled by her painful reaction, Nishiki gently reached out to her. "Are you okay? Did you get hurt?"
"No," she lied. "I'm fine."
"I can smell the blood coming out of your mouth, Orochi."
"Damn it."
He didn't say anything. Nishiki simply moved forward, eyes shining with concern and worry. Orochi instinctively backed away from him, but he knew just how to rein her in. With a tiny sigh, he reached under her chin, and lifted her face up, so her eyes were forced to bear his own.
She was completely still and obedient.
He wished she could at least show some resistance to him. Nevertheless, he moved his fingers from beneath her chin, to the side of her face where the pain was. She winced when he thumbed over the soft spot, eyes closed against the inconvenience that was stinging inside of her mouth.
Nishiki reached forward, and placed a tiny kiss on her sore cheek. He could feel the heat bloom beneath his skin in gradual waves, until he finally pulled away from her.
"N-Nishiki?" she stuttered, face as red as the blood in her mouth. "What was that about?"
"Just trying to comfort you," he simply said. "I still owe you for this, though." He moved the left part of his hair behind his ear, and tugged on his scarf to reveal the hair bauble she gifted him all those days ago. It hung low near his chin, closer to his neck as it swung back and forth like a pendulum. She stared at its movements, before glancing up to meet his eyes again.
What beautiful eyes he had. She loved them so much.
She loved them even as they stared down at her with a pitiful expression. "I owe you still."
"Okay, and? Are you asking me for a favor?"
"No, I'm telling you that you have a favor. From me."
"So?"
"Orochi, I don't think I'll ever be able to like you as much as you like me." He spoke truthfully, plainly, in a voice that was more similar to his "leader of the fox-tribe" persona than his usual self. She wished he didn't pull those tricks on her like that.
He went on in spite of her, however. "Because of that, this is the only chance you'll get. If you want a kiss, or if you want me to hold you, then I'll do it."
"But—"
"Because I always repay people that help me." He smiled slowly, and she watched as the serious look on his face melted away into something softer, sweeter. He became more like himself. "Always."
"Nishiki, I...I don't think that's right, though."
"I know, you want it to be genuine, right?" He sighed. "But it won't be genuine, because I don't feel that way about you."
"Are you telling me to settle?" she gasped. "Nishiki, you're so cruel!"
"I'm just mentioning it~" he mused. "You don't have to do anything at all."
"You, you—"
"Although, if you want a kiss, you're going to have to do something about the blood in your cheek."
"Nishiki!"
"I'm serious!"
"Ugh, I hate you sometimes," she mumbled, knowing fully well that he could hear her perfectly. "Well, let me ask this before I decide on something. You said you already have feelings for someone else?"
"Yes."
"Is that someone another person in this army?"
"Orochi, I'm pretty sure you already know who it is, so you don't have to play games with me just so you can hear the answer."
The image of a certain someone formed in her mind, and it was there at the forefront of her thoughts, ever since Nishiki first admitted that he loved someone. Orochi envisioned a person of monochromatic beauty, drenched in blood, completely repulsive to her in some ways, but oddly charming that not even she could bring herself to be angry with them. She knew of this person's appearance and habits, and was aware of the way that he cherished odd things, or how he was totally helpless when it comes to directions. She knew their scent, too—she knew they smelled like pine needles, blood, and fabric.
Like Flannel.
"So, I never had a chance, huh?"
"I wouldn't say that," Nishiki denied. "I don't want to lead you on. Although I appreciate you being honest with me."
"You do, do you?" She rolled her eyes. "To be frank, I wish you would just lie to me sometimes. It hurts how sincere you are."
"Hmm~ I'll keep that in mind." His eyes flickered from the falling snow—which increased greatly as time passed—and to the top of Orochi's head, where it adorned her like a white crown, and left the rest of her in shivers, in chattering teeth.
They had to end this soon.
They were both in need of a break, anyway.
"If there's nothing else that you want from me, then you should leave. It's getting cold out here."
"...Alright," Orochi agreed. "Alright, I'll go."
"Then—"
"Kiss me, first."
He seemed taken aback, despite being the one to offer such services in the first place. "Huh?"
"I know this is bad. I know this is childish, but…" she trailed off, breath broken into desperate gasps. Whatever courage she mustered to get this far had seemingly run out. Just as Nishiki was about to interfere, however, Orochi found her voice again. "I don't want to have come all this way just to get rejected, you know? I should at least get something for my troubles."
"Yeah, but did you swallow your blood, already?" Nishiki seemed serious about the whole bloody mouth ordeal. He even poked her cheek to test its integrity. "It's a you problem more than it is a me problem. I won't get hurt by swapping blood, y'know."
"I know," she said, despite not knowing anything at all. "It's fine. I promise I won't leave you a bloody mess, okay?"
"Okay."
"Kiss me hard," Orochi added on. "I'm really hurt, as you can see."
"Clearly."
"Hey, you sly fox. What happened to your cute face?" She pouted, and thought back how to Asama described Nishiki as "clueless." Was he messing with her at the time, or was Nishiki really clueless in some aspects? Either way, Orochi had a hard time believing this person was as naive as she was supposedly told he was. "You're so serious today."
"You caught me in a bad mood," he admitted with a smile. "But I promise, I'll be fine tomorrow."
"Can I kiss you tomorrow, then?"
"If that's what you want. It's your favor, Orochi."
"Huh." She shivered, suddenly aware of the growing chill around her. She really should go back and warm up, and save this kissing business for another day. But her pride still remained, and she was dead serious about making up for lost time.
She took the bull by the horns.
Er, the fox by the ears, actually.
"Let's do it now. I'm cold, Nishiki."
"And you think a kiss will warm you up?" His eyes widened. "Orochi, just promise you'll warm up by the campfire or something later on. I don't want you to get sick!"
Ah, there it is, she thought. There's the sweet Nishiki.
Or maybe he was there all along? Time to find out.
"I'll be fine," she reassured. "I promise."
"Okay."
And just like that, he switched gears. His hands reached out, and pulled Orochi by the wrists, nearly flinging her close to his body. She squeaked, but he laughed, utterly amused by the way she got flustered so easily, and so soon. Orochi gazed up at him after she composed herself, hoping she'd find some weakness or some embarrassment in his eyes.
He was unfazed as always. He simply moved in closer, and initiated the kiss with a firm yet careful force. It was so swift, she didn't notice at first that his lips were on hers. Perhaps it was the ideal she had in her head, but Orochi imagined him to be soft, sweet, and yearning. The way he kissed her now—firm, careful, unyielding—was nothing like that. He had so much force within him, Orochi was shocked to know that this was the same boy that smiled at her like sunshine, and played MahJong with a poorly made flower crown on his head in front of everybody he ever knew or loved.
To think this was the same Nishiki she grew to love, and yet hated to leave behind. Though, this kiss was more than she imagined and hoped for, as he seemed somewhat dedicated to the idea that he could leave all her feelings for him behind in singular romantic gesture. He went in for more and more, but never too much that it would overwhelm her. She had to gasp now and then, but it wasn't anything she was unused to.
Then, Orochi spotted the tree right behind Nishiki, and a sneaky plan formed itself in the crevices of her mind. If this was her all-or-nothing, she'd rather have it be all she ever wanted. So she closed her eyes against the kiss—felt the way he was about to pull back and end it—and slammed Nishiki's body forward with as much strength as she could muster.
He yelped, a cute noise which was swallowed up by Orochi's eager mouth. His back was pressed into the tree, and he was momentarily trapped between the rough bark, and the soft skin of Orochi. She turned this exchange on its head, and wriggled her wrists free from his treacherous hold, so she could use them to pin his wrists against the bark of the tree, instead.
Nishiki didn't mind it after the shock wore off, although he thought it funny that this wasn't his first time in a position like this.
Orochi went in for more, and Nishiki obliged. Whether it was because of his desire to properly carry out favors, or the fact that he liked the idea of being intimate with others in general, Orochi couldn't tell. But she also didn't care, since the only thing she was focused on was getting this boy to be as breathless as she was when she was around him.
When she heard the tiniest little breath escape his lips in desperation, she smiled into the kiss.
She got what she wanted, after all this time.
Orochi pulled away cleanly, leaving nothing of herself to Nishiki except the fleeting feeling of her lips. He was still composed, despite the hints of flusteredness he showed. She wished she could say the same for herself, since her face was entirely red, her hair a bit messed up from where Nishiki touched it, and her body shivering with cold and heat all at once.
There was an audible thud nearby, and their hearts dropped instantly.
She instinctively backed up, and Nishiki shot out from his place against the tree, to witness the horrible sight that he knew was waiting for him.
It was Flannel. His red eyes were wide and brimming with unbridled emotions: anger, sadness, confusion, frustration, hurt. It was all over his face and body, as visible as the sun shining above them, or the snow falling around them. His hands trembled the most out of all of him, and Flannel had to use his one hand to calm the enraged shaking of the other, forcing himself to hold back on all the things he wanted to do or say. His mouth twisted into a nasty sneer, and his eyes narrowed to the point where only one emotion remained, above all others.
Anger.
"Sorry," Flannel hissed. "Sorry that I ever thought I meant something to you!"
"Flannel, wait!"
He turned his back on Nishiki and Orochi, and disappeared into the nearby woods. Even though he was heading farther and farther away, Nishiki knew it was a momentary retreat needed to cool off. In spite of his anger, Flannel would never abandon ship, simply because his personal feelings got in the way. Aware of these shortcomings, Nishiki shot Orochi a sorrowful look, and ran off to chase after his best friend and possible lover.
The possessive nature of said lover was his undoing, however. He had a natural tendency to treasure and cherish anything that he decided was his. As territorial and confrontational as most wolves tended to be, Flannel was worse than all of them, because he let things affect him deeply, and couldn't help but break down when the pain and betrayal became too much for him.
Nishiki was his friend, his love, and only he was allowed the sweet surrender that were his kisses. For Nishiki to belong to anyone else at this point in time—when the two of them acted so romantic in the shadows, when the two of them could understand each other better than anyone else—was an impossible idea to consider.
However, that impossibility was becoming reality, as Flannel witnessed a dangerous, terrible little snake worm its way into Nishiki's heart—one with tantalizing curves and bright amethyst eyes.
And her name was Orochi.
.
.
.
"Why did you kiss her?"
"I was repaying her."
"You can't just do that for her, Nishiki! You can't always repay people like that!"
"But I just have to. If someone's nice to me, then—"
"And if she'd ask you to start a relationship with her? If she asked you to sleep with her?"
"...I…"
"I don't think we should do this anymore."
"Do what?"
"The kissing. The touching. I can't do that with someone that does that with other people."
"Are you serious?"
"I'm being very serious right now. I don't know if you know this, but wolves don't mess around like that. It's one or nothing. All or nothing."
"I figured as much. Which is why—"
"I know you're more open. I know you're the type that's more generous and understanding."
"Flannel…"
"But I'm not like that, okay? I-I thought you were—"
"Flannel, listen, it's a misunderstanding. I don't actually like Orochi outside of that kiss, y'know."
"..."
"I repaid her favor with a kiss. But I already told her I don't like her back."
"Okay."
"Because I already like someone else."
"That's the thing, though! You can't just kiss people while liking someone else! You can't just experiment when you're bored, or whatever!"
"I wasn't—"
"You can't do that around me. But you did."
"Flannel, please, just listen to yourself. It's not like the two of us were in a relationship before, so why are you so angry about this?"
"..."
"Flannel?"
"You're an idiot."
"Huh?"
"It's fine. It's whatever. Listen, I think we should stay as friends from this point on."
"We've always been friends, though?"
"No, I really mean it. Don't kiss me anymore. Don't do stuff like that anymore, okay?"
"But Flannel—"
"It's obvious we can't agree, so we'll leave it at that."
"...You know what? Fine."
"Fine?"
"Yes, fine. Maybe it's better this way."
"Okay, good. Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go find some treasure."
"Alright. Bye, Flannel."
"...Bye, Nishiki."
.
.
.
"I mess everything up," Orochi lamented. "Everything I involve myself in gets ruined."
"That's not true," Kagerou said. "You messed up once. We all mess up at least once in our lives."
"Everything I love disappears," Orochi cried.
"I'm still here," Kagerou softly noted. "I haven't disappeared."
"I'm worthless."
"You are not."
"Says who?"
"Says me."
Orochi sighed, and buried her face deep into Kagerou's chest. The ninja sighed, too, and ran her fingers through Orochi's hair. "You'll be okay," she insisted. "You'll be fine."
"I think I ruined a relationship just now."
"Yours and Nishiki's?"
"No, Nishiki and his love's. I think I destroyed everything and now I can't bear to look at either of them in the coming days."
"Then stick with me. I promise I won't go near them until you're ready."
"Oh, Kagerou," Orochi cried out. "What'd I do to deserve such a good friend in you?"
"You were being yourself," she said. "You were Orochi and no one else. So don't try hard to be someone else, whether it's for Nishiki or another interest."
"I—"
"Promise me, Orochi."
"Okay, I promise."
"And when the time is right, you can go and apologize to Nishiki if you feel so strongly about that."
"Alright." She took in a deep breath, and exhaled. "Kagerou, I'm sorry for acting like this. I'm a grown woman, yet here I am, brooding over this lost love like a child."
"Love is not only for children," Kagerou murmured against her. "Love is for everyone. You'll see soon enough, just how many people still love you."
As the words entered her ears, Orochi glanced elsewhere. She stared at the sky, which was starless and expansive—far beyond the comprehension of a single person like her. And yet, she knew that her importance was just enough for her, and no one else. Her advances on Nishiki were wrong, and she paid for that. One day, when she has enough courage to do so, she'll go and fix things with him. Maybe she'll even apologize to Flannel, too.
But until then, she had to rely on herself, the stars, and the wonderful best friend beside her.
And maybe—just maybe—that would be enough.