"Fox!" Maggie waited for him at the hospital entrance. "Thank god you're here!"
"Where is she?" he asked, barely acknowledging the old woman. He stormed through the halls, and Maggie had to start running to keep up with him.
"The baby is stuck," she informed him in between breath catching. "She's been calling for you."
The doctor confirmed her words. The baby wasn't coming out and Scully was losing strength to help it. It's heartbeats were dropping, it was too late for a C-section, and if she didn't push it out soon the options were limited and… ugly.
Mulder's heartbeat was so loud that at one point he couldn't hear the doctor anymore. All he could understand was that he was losing them both, a son he never met and a friend he just wasted a few months running away from.
As usual, it was all his fault. Staying or leaving, it didn't seem to matter. He caused pain and suffering no matter what he did.
"I need to see her," he demanded. If there was a god or whatever power from above, Mulder commanded it to take a sacrifice. He demanded to die first.
"It's him," Maggie informed the doctor. "The man she's been calling for."
The doctor observed Mulder carefully, feeling intimidated by the unshaved, unpleasantly smelling and clearly a difficult man. Despite his better judgment, he nodded an approval. He was losing a patient – two patients – and he was running out of options. Time was the luxury he didn't have, so Mulder got scrubbed and gowned in an instant, even faster pushed into a scary room where his partner was lying on a table, spread like a stuffed turkey.
"Scully!" he run to her, phishing for her hand under all the cords she was attached to.
She was gasping and bathing in sweat. Her grasp on his palm was weak, but it was there.
"Mulder," she turned her face towards him and he started to move the sticky strands of her hair. "I wish you were here."
"I am here, Scully," he tried to assure her. "I've got you."
There were too many people in the room and they talked too much, urging Scully to push and reciting the medicine dosages and the vital numbers that did nothing but fall. It was too much for him, so Mulder shut them out and concentrated only on Scully.
"Please," she begged. "Make them save the baby. They can't waste time on me."
Mulder run his hand through her damp hair and pressed his lips to her forehead. Despite the sweat, she was cold, and incredibly pale. He could feel her giving up, but how could he give her the will to live if he didn't have any?
"The only doctor he needs is you, Scully. Push him out."
"I can't…"
"He's almost here. Come on, Scully!"
"I want you to raise him. Don't leave him."
"Come on, Scully, push!" Mulder kept insisting, not taking no for an answer. But neither was Scully.
"Promise me!" she demanded and as he pulled her into a hug he promised both her and the baby everything they are ever going to want. Her nails dug into his skin and as she screamed into his chest, her whole body tensed and shook in one last, desperate effort, bringing the new life into the world.
Mulder heard the baby's first cry at the same time as Scully's body went limp in his arms. Before he realized what was happening, he was pushed off her and out of the room that was now full of blood.
It all happened so fast and Mulder didn't have time to process it. One moment he was all alone in the world, the next he was holding the only soul that could make him feel otherwise, and now he was standing in the hall, possibly and likely about to lose the last person that mattered to him. Maggie's firm grasp was the only thing that stopped him from falling to his knees.
He looked at her, with desperate plea in the bloody eyes. "I can't lose her."
Maggie nodded and squeezed him a bit tighter. "I can't lose her either."
She guided him to the nearby chair, just in time to prevent him from collapsing on the floor. He had no strength left – he gave it all to Scully.
The fear that it may not have been enough invaded every part of his being. The eternity of desperation, self-blame, pleading to all known and unknown gods and higher beings while endlessly waiting had started. He was an FBI agent, used to crime scenes and gore, but he rarely saw as much blood as in that delivery room. How could anyone survive that?
The warm touch on the arm startled him.
"I'm sorry," Maggie quickly retrieved her hand. "I didn't want to scare you."
He looked at her, remembering that she was there. For a moment he almost didn't know who she was.
"I…" he tried to apologize for not listening to what/if she was saying, for his involvement with her daughter, for… for existing.
If he had said no, Scully wouldn't be pregnant, and she wouldn't be bleeding out to death right now. If only he had refused to fill that sterile cup! Maybe if he hadn't lied about his sexual history, they wouldn't trust him with that cup. If Scully had found an anonymous donor, maybe that man's child wouldn't kill her. What was she thinking, with bringing Mulder Junior into the world? The boy should have never been his. Anybody's but his!
A boy. He promised to raise him. Alone. The thought made him feel sick. Raising a child that killed her…
"Mrs. Scully," the doctor approached them and they both jumped to their feet.
"How is she?" Mulder and Maggie asked in unison.
"Critical," the doctor replied. "We are still trying to stabilize her, but she's lost a lot of blood."
"Is she going to make it?" Maggie's voice shook with fear.
"We are doing everything that we can," the doctor promised as much, or as little, as he could.
"How is the boy?" Mulder asked because he had to. If he couldn't help Scully anymore, he had to do everything he could to protect the baby she almost died for. Besides, he promised it to her.
"The baby is doing fine. It's a girl."
"What do you mean a girl? She was having a boy, not a girl."
"I assure you," the doctor smiled for a first time, finally giving some good news. "The baby is definitely a girl. She's healthy and beautiful. You can see her soon."
"No," Mulder approached him, grabbed him by the collar and pushed him onto a wall. "She was having a boy! What have you done to him? Where is he?!"