Loyalty, he thinks, is a strange thing. It can be gained or lost in a million ways. Bought by some and earned for others. Loyalty was the only that kept the village safe. It was an ever-present strength that guided his hands and naively he had thought it was the same for his comrades. The passing decades had been a harsh teacher.
Every war had its traitors. Just as they all had silent heroes from the most unexpected places. Genin who sacrificed everything to buy their country an inch and Jonin who would betray all they had held sacred to escape a bit of pain. It was almost worse during peacetime. You expect these things to happen during war. The harder questions come when there isn't an enemy to blame.
Is it a betrayal for a shinobi to do something more beneficial for their family than the village? Should a man who abandoned his mission for the sake of his comrades be punished or rewarded?
Hiruzen sighed as he went back over the report responsible for his wandering thoughts once more. It was short and clinical as most trainee updates are. It spoke of a child modestly ahead of their peers but lacking the maturity required to graduate early. Common enough for orphans from ninja families and easy to believe.
All the best lies are. Not that he would condemn the teacher as a traitor. Hiruzen had planned on white lies being given after all, counted on it even.
He had been happy to let the status quo stay for a few more years. At least until an apprenticeship request came from a med-nin. With it were dozens of medical documents showing signs of… rough treatment. One of them wasn't cause for alarm. A single rough spar could cause several injuries.
The consistency of them was what he found abnormal for an academy student. Especially those described as lacking the drive to excel beyond their classmates. Unmotivated students don't get treated for mild chakra exhaustion on a bi-weekly basis.
It wasn't that Hiruzen was worried she was in danger. Team Raro had been close before Yamanaka Yunobu's death. They became inseparable afterwards. Putting Rinko under the care of her mother's old sensei had been one of the few acts of kindness he could give the girl without questions arising.
Hiruzen had expected that she'd be held back as long as feasible, or until she was beyond prepared. Such favoritism was hypocritical for him to rely on. The biggest arguments during his tenure as the Third Hokage had revolved around keeping the academy a level playing field for all. A losing battle at the best of times. One that needed to be fought nonetheless.
The med-nin's request had been denied. Drawing attention like that had been the last thing the girl needed. Yet the implication was enough to give him pause. Her mother was one of many he'd failed over the years. Kami above, he had even failed his own genin team countless times.
Perhaps that was why Ikeda Akiime's specter haunted him so much. The Second Shinobi war had scarred his students deeper than he had known. The war ended before they had broken. It was Akiime's sacrifice that had ended the war. A sacrifice forced on her because of their failures.
He rose from the desk with a huff, coming to rest a few steps away to look out the window. Pride and memories alike filled as he looked down on the people who depended on him. Tobirama-sensei would be displeased by how often guilt caused him inaction. The harsh lessons from his teacher seemed more than a lifetime ago. He was older now than Tobirama had ever been. Older than he would ever be.
By now, Hiruzen had held the title of Hokage longer than both of the Senju brothers combined. Age and experience had chipped away at the apathy a Hokage in the lineage of Tobirama required.
In truth, he had never expected his leadership to last so long. There had always been a cold assumption that death would take him before retirement. The thought of it used to bring him a sick sense of comfort. Tobirama had prepared him for command and left the village stronger with a successor ready to make it grow ever further. Hiruzen had done all he could to do the same.
His genin team had grown beautifully. Mismatched pieces finding their way with one another. As children they had fit together far better than his own team could've imagined. Even now, he could close his eyes and see his hopes dance behind them.
Orochimaru would be the right hand of the Hokage and the Jonin commander. Keen intelligence and ruthlessness a shinobi needed to make the hardest decisions. His teammates and the will of fire would blunt the excessiveness of his youth. Tsunade acting as the Hokage's left hand. Leading the Hospital with a steady presence and always able to see the forest for the trees. A perfect foil for Orochimaru who could obsess on specifics to the detriment of the whole. Jiraiya as the Hokage would be his last legacy. Oft forgotten and looked down on, even by himself on occasion. A brilliant shinobi. Born of effort instead of talent. Proof that anyone could rise to the greatest heights.
Never was there a more perfect dream. Never was there a sweeter poison.
The promise of it had guided his hands for years. Pushing his team further and further. Time could explain away or fix any fault within them. At the height of his hubris, the Second Shinobi war was almost a sign from above. Had he not been forged in the fire of the first? Had Konoha not come out stronger and grown more than any could have imagined afterward?
When his team returned from the front with Sannin whispered from every lip, he had never been more sure. They would be given a brief rest, then the four of them would become a team for one last time. They would destroy the front in a blaze of glory.
It was there that he could die in peace. Destroying any enemy in his path and ending this war in one fell swoop. Then he could finally face Tobirama-sensei. Show him that he had made the right choice. That his student inherited in the will of fire as he had. Hiruzen would finally die for the village and leave it stronger than ever before.
What a fool he'd been.
Tsunade was a shell of herself. A single drop of crimson rendered her useless. A weakness crippling for any ninja that she kept hidden away with a hair-trigger temper. Orochimaru had turned from overzealous in his duties to an easy cruelty that Hiruzen could hardly stand to think about. Neither could stand his presence or each other for more than fleeting moments. At least they remained.
Jiraiya had spent years doling out destruction on the front. The most eager of his team to return to battle and prove himself worthy. Instead of coming home, he had wasted years training orphans from an enemy village of all things. That was when he found the time between screwing everything that gave a hint of interest and peeping on all the rest.
The Sannin were effectively destroyed before they had even existed. Konoha suffered more each year they remained broken. His hubris had turned the village into a paper fox. That the nine-tails was now sealed into a child of a dead nation seemed fitting for the state of his dreams.
Hiruzen felt old in a way he'd never imagined possible. Young enough to still hold the title of the God of Shinobi, but old enough that his strength needed to be rationed. Konoha desperately needed a Hokage who never tired. At least one who wasn't consumed by doubt.
It was too late to train up a successor from nothing. Weakened as it was, the village couldn't handle him focusing on a new team for a decade, if not more. That was assuming he didn't damn them to the fate of the first.
The Third turned away from the window to stop his thoughts from spiraling more. Better to focus on today's problems than waste more time on regrets. With more effort than he'd prefer to admit, Hiruzen forced his attention back to the warring papers waiting on his desk.
It was a tough nut to crack. The checkups on Ikeda Rinko were sparse with little changed between each. Something he expected from Shigaki Raro for any student. Raro's lack of detail could even be for the Rinko's benefit. He would have a better idea of the prejudice the girl would face than anyone else. Why add to the whispers with written proof of favoritism?
The medical forms weren't even sure signs of malpractice. Consistent chakra exhaustion was hard on the body and mind but would do wonders for future chakra capacity when done at such a young age. The risk of going overboard and permanently damaging the tenketsu was far too high to implement on any type of large scale. But it was more than doable with a one-on-one arrangement. Even more so given that there was a skilled med-nin caring for the girl.
Normally, he'd assign a lookout to do a quick check just to make sure. But given the… circumstances. Ikeda Rinko having less attention laid on her was better than the alternative. A sigh left him as he glanced at the clock. His next meeting would be soon and force him to put this on his to-list. For all but the most pressing issues that meant it would likely be months before he gave it a second thought.
Not that he was looking forward to the next few hours. As important as a study on the river systems of Konoha and the surrounding nations could be for future conflicts, it didn't exactly make for a riveting discussion. He'd much rather focus on a study of a sudden jerk shot through the Hokage as inspiration took him.
A study done on the Ninja Academy would kill multiple problems with one kunai. Select a large number of students and teachers to shadow throughout a year. Find which methods are working the best, root out any unsanctioned favoritism, standardize the reporting and grading system, and finally make sure students are getting the support they need.
What better time to build upon Konoha's foundation than when it is at its weakest? The major clans had rebuffed such reforms in the past. Beyond the absolute basics, it was up to the discretion of each teacher regarding what was focused on and who received attention. A system that made sense when most students enrolled came from ninja clans. If a clan felt instruction was lacking in an area, they would make up for it at home.
Students from non-shinobi families would still receive more instruction than they could ever have dreamed before. The clans benefited from their children being taught by outsiders. Getting techniques and training they would never have received before Konoha was founded.
The clans might've been current to think the current system was best for the village prior to the second Shinobi War. But the war had caused two major shifts in the status quo.
The fighting had cut down many prime-aged ninja from the clans and forced academy students into becoming genin faster. Diminishing the teachers available at home and the average amount of clan students in the academy. Not that the clans were in danger of dying out. They simply needed time to rebuild and restore. If anything, most of them were in the middle of a baby boom. The problem was that most of those children were half a decade from entering the academy.
The second change was a jump in the civilian population inside Konoha. Whether by collateral damage or fear, people from all across the Land of Fire had found their way to the village. They were small compared to those who stayed home or went to other cities and towns, but large enough to require an expansion of many residential areas.
This increase in people naturally trickled down to the Ninja Academy. The promise of food during the day and safety for their children had led the children of these refugees to sign up for training at much greater rates than those who had lived in Konoha all along. Trainees descended from clans were still the majority. But closer to 60/40 than the 90/10 split that had been the case before.
Even the most conservative clan heads would see reason in shifting the Academy's priorities. Let the clans focus their resources on building up the current crop of genin and chunin, while the academy focused on getting fresh blood into the ninja forces.
It was an idea similar to what Tsunade had proposed… and wouldn't that be a grand idea, Hiruzen thought. Nawaki's death had been so hard on her. Giving her peaceful work with children could help her regain the spark she'd lost. There wouldn't even be blood involved. Just a few thorough checkups with each of the kids selected. With luck, she could even find an apprentice or a team. Headaches though they might be, his own team had given him strength.
Hiruzen's mind raced with delight as he took a few celebratory puffs. Why stop with just Tsunade? Orochimaru had been requesting time to focus on research that Hiruzen had rebuffed so far. He had worried that isolation would further do little to help his student. But if he agreed to it on the condition that Orochimaru took on a team of his own?
Even Jiraiya could put his wanderings to some good use. The boy had always been quick to make friends and charm in his own ways. Many informants had been lost because of the war. Why not give his student time to heal while still helping the village?
Hiruzen didn't even try to hide his good cheer as the next meeting started. Thoughts of a brighter future danced in his mind's eye. He could almost hear Tsunade begrudgingly thanking him for the chance to find talented students for medical work.
Tsunade's new office remained as bare as it was six months ago when she first received her orders. Larger than most to fit a medical examination table, but without the typical decorations you would find in the Konoha Hospital. She'd been plucked from a similar office in that very hospital. Getting plucked away was the only blessing from the damned assignment.
Damned was right, she thought with a sneer. Hiruzen with all his wisdom, had damned her into her this little slice of hell. For months she had been clawing back some shaky semblance of peace. And her sensei had destroyed it with a smile.
Something to get her back to working in the village, he had said. Something she would enjoy without the risk of blood or fighting. All she was to do was the occasional check-up and interview of the same 50 children over a year's time. It should have been perfect for someone trying to crawl out of despair. But as always, the devil is in the details.
The checkup wasn't an issue. She didn't do the blood drawings. Aspiring med-nin took care of that as part of their training. Unfortunately, that was the only support she received. Every other aspect related to the medical examinations was to be done by her alone.
It took nearly a full month just to go through half the kids. Each checkup involved hours on the examining table. She checked muscle tissues, ligament strength, chakra levels, tenketsu strength, and anything else that might show how they were being trained. The goal was to determine if the training they received was building them to an appropriate level and to determine if any had been subject to unfair treatment. Whether that meant they received more than their fair share of attention or not enough didn't matter. Just that they weren't getting similar results to their peers.
It was the type of work she had been pushing the village to do for years. Hard but meaningful and something that could save lives down the road. The first few of them had been cruel with how easy they'd been. The nightmare didn't start until after.
She had a few questions for the students to answer after each checkup. How they felt about training, if it was fair, what they would do differently… and why they wanted to be a ninja. Inevitably, it devolved into them talking about their hopes and fears. What kept them up at night and what silly little things gave them smiles. By the end, all she could see was Nawaki's corpse talking to her like nothing was wrong. As if everyone she loved wasn't dead.
Each one hurt a little more than the last. Yet Tsunade couldn't stop herself from delving in deeper. Her work would end with her weeping at her desk until she was hollowed out and able to do it again the next day.
It would be easy to pass this on to someone else. Someone who wasn't a broken shell.
Tsunade would rather it kill her a little more each day than give it up. The pain was a small price to pay for the delusion that Nawaki was still with her. Wasn't it only right that she got a moment of comfort from the ghosts that haunted her?
She wanted to scream. To run away. To do anything but live in this place that burned away all that mattered.
Occasionally, there would be moments of clarity when the children talked about the village and the Will of Fire. The need to tell them to stop, to shake them until they understood what being a ninja would do to them. But then she wouldn't get to hear her brother's voice. Then she would have.
A knock at the door stopped her from spiraling any further. "Enter," Tsunade sharply called out.
The door opened in response and her newest headache emerged. Ikeda Rinko had lacked the shyness of most academy students from their first meeting together. Six months' worth of these meetings had done nothing to curb her enthusiasm.
A cheeky smile from the girl earned a scowl and sigh from Tsunade. Rinko was by far the most troublesome of all the brats she dealt with. She was the only one whose medical examination was worse than the questions. Familiarity had deprived Tsunade of her usual destructive habits. It was hard to imagine someone else when the damn girl spent the night at her home with Shizune once a week.
Seeing her niece brighten back up had been about the only good thing in her life since Dan and Nawaki died. Tsunade just wished it didn't come with hearing about everything Rinko did that day during dinner.
A grunt swatted away the casual, "Did ya miss me Tsunade-san?" Better to dive into the exam than allow herself to be pestered. Not that it bothered the girl. Humming along to a silent beat as she was poked and prodded.
The first basic sweep found nothing out of the ordinary, well nothing out of the ordinary for Rinko. A jump in chakra that could only be achieved by draining her reserves enough to feel like shit more often than any pre-teen should be fine with.
It wasn't until Tsunade began doing a more detailed scan of her that the same old issues started arising. Almost every inch of her had evidence of long-term intensive training. Not unheard of, but far from typical for her age. It would make more sense if the girl was a prodigy being rushed by her clan to raise their status. As an orphan of a fallen clan though? There was a story there to dig up if anyone cared enough.
This was usually when Tsunade would tell the girl to take more breaks and let the issue slide. But something was off. The test didn't show any major issue or change in Rinko's workload. None of the scans she did showed new types of damage. Which only set off more alarm bells in the Sannin's head. With practiced ease, she slipped into old operating habits. You don't spend most of your life advancing medical ninjutsu without trusting your gut.
Even if this time it composed of doing the same test five more times. Rinko was unphased all the way through, but briefly raised an eyebrow when Tsunade started tapping against her clipboard. A sharp glare cowed her back into being a model patient. That mask of calmness ended in a yelp when Tsunade smacked her pen down in excitement.
Rinko stared, transfixed as the always calm Slug Princess started to excitedly ramble. "Aftercare! No matter how advanced medical ninjutsu can't erase all the signs of training and damage being done."
Tsunade rapidly flashed through seals with one hand and the other pulled out photos and diagrams from Rinko's file before continuing. Once a projection of Rinko's muscles was visible (which Rinko found incredibly disturbing) Tsunade let out an excited cackle.
"Look at the difference between these today and last month. The muscles and tenketsu show similar rates of damage and growth profiles, but the lactic acid patterns are different. You can also see scar tissue in different locations."
"Scar tissue? Is that-"
"It's fine. Muscle tearing can generate tiny scars. Rest, stretching, hydration, and continued exercise breaks them up in a normal cycle of growth. But flip back through the other months. They all have the same patterns except for today's."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning you stopped going to the med-nin who has been patching you up before. And judging by the placement… start massaging that muscle. Now freeze! Look at your hand placement. See how it matches today's pattern instead of the prior ones? You get the same patterns when med-nin get good enough with the mystical palm technique to treat themselves..."
Tsunade took a sharp intake of breath at the sudden realization. Rinko's icy glare meeting her widened eyes was all the confirmation needed. Neither spoke, and the room grew colder as the moment stretched on. The knowledge and chakra control needed to treat herself correctly like this was ridiculous.
Even experienced med-nin have trouble with training-related stressors. Medical ninjutsu at its core is about restoring the body to its prior state. While life-saving for normal injuries, if you completely reset the damage done by training, you remove the triggers that cells use to grow muscles back stronger than before. It requires special care to leave specific muscle fibers damaged while repairing most of them around and beneath the top layer.
This type of work was rarely done and even rarer to be taught. It just wasn't worth it on a widespread scale. Ninja were both sturdier than civilians and healed much quicker. Over time it would lead to more growth, but it took years of dedicated work for both the patient and the healer.
The treatmeant would've been more than praiseworthy had she been a decade older. As a child not even out of the academy. Monstrous was the first word that came to mind, odd as it was for mastering a healing technique. It was hard to reconcile it while the young girl looked away and shrunk in on herself.
Tsunade wasn't blind to how kunoichi looked at her. The greatest healer since Harashima himself and the most famous woman in Konoha's history. She would've known by now if Rinko had any interest in the healing arts. The girl had been best friends with her niece for nearly two years at this point and had been having sleepovers for at least half that time. There had been too many opportunities to ask for an apprenticeship or at least some tips.
That it never happened meant the girl learned it out of necessity rather than desire. The Sannin closed her eyes to keep from thinking about it further. She knew that continuing that train of thought would force her to do something beyond the minimum. To someone who had survived by barely skirting by… it was a daunting prospect to say the least.
Justifications flitted through her mind. Her duty as a med-nin had been discarded long ago. Whatever love she had for Konoha had died with her lover and brother. Her own care for the girl? There was barely enough care in her heart to wake up in the mornings. Tsunade found her tolerable in small doses and fine enough for her niece.
A bolt shot through her at the thought of Shizune. She would be devastated if something happened to her friend. The girl had loved fiercely since birth and her heart hadn't changed even after Dan's death. Hadn't stopped loving the shell of a person who inhabited Tsunade's body.
If there was anything that could be done to preserve her happiness…
A sigh escaped into the room. A switch flipped, and the Senju princess came alive. Two years' worth of memories were analyzed within a few short ticks of the clock. Words spoken by the girl, whispers overheard and discarded, minute actions and reactions.
A flinch during a spar when seeing an adult. Scrapes and bruises at a sleepover even on days off. Shizune mentioning a small scar on her arm and it being gone the next day. Complaints of mood swings after graduation exams and a pause in sleepovers. Hundreds of interactions first hand or otherwise.
A puzzle came together in her mind of a girl aware that she is being abused but hiding it. Someone with immediate, unquestioned access. Entrenched in her life and in the village. Obvious in hindsight. But isn't it always?
She might've been more delicate in the past. In the present, she had little patience for it. Tsunade's eyes finally opened again, and with them a sharp command, "Tell me about your sensei."
The room grew cold once more as their gazes met. Though again, the girl was the first to look away. Her voice was stilted and icy enough you might think you could see her breath. Yet out it came just the same.
There were parts she stumbled on. Moments when the soft voice would turn hard and more when it would shake. Secrets almost shared but lost in the flickering light above. What was said made up for all of them. Tsunade kicked her out the moment she finished with a command to remain home for the next week. The Sannin had held back tears enough times to recognize it on another. Neither of them was fit to comfort someone else.
If anyone walked by the office and saw her, head in hands and documents scattered across the room, they didn't say. Chances are they'd seen it many times before.
AN: About done with another chapter, so there will be at least two more.
Editing process was a bit odd with this one. Let me know if I missed something.