Scully poured herself a cup of coffee, enjoying a peaceful morning by herself. Mulder was still asleep, which almost worried her with how unusual it was. She rarely saw him sleep, he was always awake before her, always alert, always tortured with insomnia. It pleased her to see him get a proper rest for a change.

Scully, on the other hand, was able to sleep anywhere, in any position, any time of day or night. However, with a demanding job and an energetic child she never had too many opportunities for a lazy morning.

She quietly sipped her coffee, thinking about last night's dinner date, her mother's delicious little cookies, Mulder's… well… the part of him he never shared with her before.

Her libido wasn't high, but it wasn't non-existent either, like she feared it might be after a long and comfortable period of celibacy. It wasn't need that drove her to Mulder's embrace, it was affection and friendship, curiosity and companionship.

She didn't need to feel him inside her, but she wondered how it would feel, how deep could he go, how long would he last… How would he smell and what sounds would he make… Did she even have what it takes to seduce him?

Sex was one thing she wasn't used to initiate. She preferred to be seduced and submit to her lovers' desires. It was easier that way, not just because of Catholic guilt over sex before marriage, or needing to let go of control in at least that aspect of her life, but also because she didn't really have many preferences. Seeing a satisfied man made her satisfied, and if he was willing to put an extra effort into her pleasure it was appreciated, but not expected.

It wasn't going to work with Mulder, that was certain. During their partnership, friendship and co-parenting there were many opportunities for something more, but he always backed away before taking that step. Now that she knew why, it was up to her to cross that bridge. If he was brave enough to try dating, she could be brave enough to take the lead.

Then, maybe, by the time they retire, they might manage to go all the way at last.

She chuckled at the thought. The slow pace didn't annoy or discourage her at all. She preferred it that way, needing to take her time as well. She enjoyed every moment of it, amazed and excited that after all the years she knew him, after all the trips to hell and back they took together, all the unique experiences they shared, all the joy and heartbreak they've been through, there was still so much left to explore together, to learn about each other.

Intimacy wasn't about pleasure for her, it was about closeness and connection, and that's something they've had for a long time. Whatever happened next, or didn't happen, could only bring them closer, of that she was certain.

Her pocket started to ring and she retrieved a cellphone from it.

"Good morning, brother," she greeted.

"Dana," Bill answered with a hearty laugh. "What the hell have you been teaching your daughter?"

"What do you mean?" Scully was confused.

"Why did my son just inform me that fuck is a bad word and I should say… ha… oh God… intercorpse instead?"

"Inter-corpse?"

"He says he learned it from Betty. Ha, oh God, Dana, I know you used to be a pathologist, but come on? In-ter-cor-pse?"

"She must have meant intercourse," Scully needlessly explained.

There was nothing but laugh in response.

"It's not funny, Bill. She learns inappropriate words from your boys and I don't appreciate her saying… duck in my house."

"Duck? Duck?!" he was laughing so hard that it sounded like he might choke.

A tiny, childish part of her almost wished he would.

"She wanted to know what it means," Scully explained, which earned her another laugh from her brother.

"Are you saying she never saw a… duck?! My God, Dana, the next time you come to San Diego we have to take her to the safari."

"Bill…"

"Or maybe to a beekeeper? Since you clearly had the birds and the bees talk with her."

"I'll talk to her again."

"Oh, please do. It'll be hilarious."

"Don't worry about my daughter, worry about your sons."

"My sons will have more nightmares from damn corpses than your daughter will from… ducks!" he was still laughing, endlessly amused.

"Goodbye, Bill."

"No, wait! Mom wants to know if you'll be staying for lunch. Tara and I can't stay long so it will be an early lunch."

"Yeah, we'll join you."

"You are bringing him?"

"He has a name, you know."

"A ridiculous one that even he doesn't like."

"Bye, Bill."

"Bye, Dana! Oh… I mean… Duck off!" more laughter.

Scully hung up. She checked the battery on the phone and, satisfied, placed it on the table. After a short contemplation of breakfast ideas, she decided she was in a mood for pancakes. She liked to make them sugar free and top them with yogurt, frozen berries and a sprinkle of pollen. It was quick, healthy and delicious, despite Betty's and Mulder's disapproval.

"Morning," the voice from the door startled her. She turned from the kitchen counter and saw Mulder, wearing nothing but boxers, just standing there like some ancient Greek God. He didn't look any better, or different, than usual, but she was looking at him with different eyes.

"Hey… um…" she stuttered, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden. Intrusive thoughts assaulted her suddenly and unexpectedly.

Did he dislike her touch? Did he imagine someone hotter in her place? Someone bustier, sexier, less rigid and uptight? Someone who never had a reputation of an Ice Queen… Was it easier for him to indulge his fantasies in the privacy of the bathroom, instead of with her? What if she got it all wrong? What if it wasn't trauma that kept him from her embrace, what if she just wasn't doing for him?

She turned back towards her bowl and continued whisking the batter. "Are pancakes ok?"

"How about coffee?" he yawned and went towards the coffee maker, next to her.

He poured himself a cup of coffee and took a sip, but he didn't move.

"Do I need to apologize?" he questioned, sensing the awkward tension.

"For what?" she asked, not looking at him, which always caused him unbearable anxiety.

"Not being a man enough?" he suggested. He certainly didn't feel enough, but what else was new? He turned to face her, but she wasn't turning towards him.

"I'm fine," she said softly, hoping he would drop it, knowing that he wouldn't.

"Can you at least look at me?"

There it was.

She turned abruptly, dropping the bowl and all of it's contents all over herself.

"Damn it!" she cursed helplessly. As if she didn't already feel unattractive enough.

"I'm sorry," Mulder said. "I just wasn't ready."

"Was it me?" Scully sighed. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What? No!" his gaze was warm and concerned, tortured and caring. She saw the depth of his soul in his eyes, but the thing she searched for wasn't there. Lust.

She looked down on herself and the mess she was in. Maybe it just that? Did he pull away simply because he didn't want to make a mess?

She took off her shirt and tossed it in the sink. She wasn't wearing anything underneath it and it pleased her to see Mulder noticed it immediately.

"My eyes are up here," she chuckled.

"Oh…" it took him a moment to register her words and look up. "Sorry."

"Don't be," she grinned, enjoying the attention. Slowly, she pulled down her pants as well, carefully observing Mulder's reaction, to see whether he'd be pleased or disappointed that she kept her underwear on.

He looked a bit of both.

"There goes our breakfast," she sighed playfully, turning on the water to rinse her shirt.

To her surprise, Mulder approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her towards him, making sure she can feel his erection.

"It's not you, Scully. It's never you," he purred in her ear. "You're perfect… In every way."

His warm palm on her cold skin was driving her crazy. Such a contrast… A perfect opposite.

"Perfect…" she turned her head towards him and he met her with a kiss.

"Scully…"

"Hm?"

"Is clitoris really that hard to find?"

"What?"

"Is it true?"

"Mulder… I've showed you the pictures, you know exactly where it is."

"Yeah, but… in real life?"

"Mm… You want to try?"

Mulder wasn't sure about that. He enjoyed their innocent banter over the years, but it wasn't innocent anymore. It wasn't just harmless words, it was opportunity and consent. He felt incredibly horny and incredibly terrified, all at once. With any other woman it would be a nightmare, with Scully it was a sweet possibility.

"Yes," he decided. "Can I?"

His words brought her goosebumps.

"Sure," she whispered, "Show me…"

But his hands stayed on her belly. Both of them.

"Mulder," she chuckled quietly. "It's a bit lower than there."

Finally, his hand slipped into her panties. Whether it was his eidetic memory, a skill he was born with or a beginner's luck, he had no trouble finding it. Once he did, Scully threatened to shoot him again if he stopped.

Not that he any intention of stopping.

She wanted him to bend her over the table and take her for breakfast. He wanted to pick her up and carry her back to the bedroom, his demons be damned.

Yet there was still so much in the way.