Author's Note: Most of you are right. This actually won't be ending soon. Drafted an outline of how the story will go, and the next big will occur after 10-15 chapters from now (huhu I know the story's slow but hey it's fun). There'll be more Mimato as the story progresses; and I'm definitely promising you guys some happy Michi and Jyoura. For now, enjoy a little Koumi, Mimi/Sora and Koukari friendship.
Salad Days
Chapter Twenty-five
Catlike
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Early October
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Nothing irked her more than complicated things. Math has never been Mimi's specialty, and to be honest, she was pretty assured she'd never use it in the future – her future, at least. But she does need to graduate high school, and to do so, she was determined to improve her grades in Calculus, especially after failing two of their quizzes. Otou-san would not be happy to know.
Thankfully their Math teacher was on sick leave, and Mimi took the chance –
"Wait, what?" Mimi exclaimed as she stared at the number Koushiro just wrote. "Now how did that happen?!"
"Ahh.. You just had to distribute the superscript to the rest of the numbers," he answered, scratching his head with his pen. Koushiro glanced at her squinting closely at his notebook. Her face was so close to him, he swore he could count the number of lashes below her eyes.
"Hmmm.." It took her two minutes to figure out what had just happened. "Ohh. Okay. Yeah. I get it now," she chirped. "Tell me what happens next, Izumi-sensei,"
The redhead grunted. They were at that particular item for thirty minutes, and he almost wanted to throw the towel. Koushiro looked at her again, a bit relieved that she hasn't given up. He smiled inwardly. A time like this with her always came so rare nowadays. It was nice to relish it.. whatever's left in this friendship.
"Okay, so now, when you get this," he wrote some numbers and a bit of equations and arrows to guide her. "you make your own equations out of this one by crossing each variable," he continued, writing as careful as he could.
Laughter and a bit of banter often came in between their brief tutoring session, and sometimes Mimi just forgets where they left off. Koushiro would eventually lead them back and teach her again, and each moment he did, his rare smile will appear.
It had almost fooled Mimi; that somehow, things between them are becoming better. But sometimes, when she unconsciously asks the same questions (an old habit to break), he'll suddenly snap as if she annoyed him relentlessly. Embittered, that's what Mimi thinks, at least. But no one else was as good in Math than Koushiro (Jyou, Sora, and Yamato, too, but they're no longer in high school). Moreover, she saw this as an opportunity to save their friendship.
The tutoring lasted until the school bell rang. Their classmates slowly disappeared; by the end there only remained two.
The redhead slowly packed his things. He wondered if Mimi would be cheating on Taichi if she agrees to come with him to grab a snack. It wouldn't be cheating, because she doesn't feel anything for me, he thought. And they still could be friends.. Right? Even Yamato could do it.
Still.. knowing he can't spend time with her without thinking of romance, he realized his intentions weren't sincere. He'd only end up falling deeper than he already is. You should always know better, Izumi.
With that, he brushed off the thought and decided to just go straight home.
"Kou-kun," called Mimi as she put the last item (her notebook) inside her bag. "You should come with us."
Koushiro blinked a few times. "With whom?"
"Taichi and I," she answered, smiling. "Taichi won't say it, but he misses you. He asks a lot about you."
"Oh, no! It's fine," he replied abruptly. He was waving his hands, telling her not to bother. Some weekend ago when he met up with Sora, he had found out about Taichi's father, and that he has been working part-time.. "You and Taichi-kun rarely get to spend time together,"
"We meet three times week," she giggled, her hand placed under her chin. "Come on, Izumi."
Three times a week? He wondered how Taichi could balance it all out. Koushiro's concern deepened, but then again, he found it was just rude of him to ask, especially since he's been keeping a distance from him and Mimi for a while now.
"Ahh.. No.. I really rather not," he pleaded as he carried his bag with him. "I need to do something,"
Mimi soon realized he was definitely avoiding her. Her and Taichi. "You're lying. We just finished homework together earlier. You're lying," she growled, her forehead wrinkling down.
"I'm not," he replied. Thank God the classroom is empty. Fearing her anger, he began to walk away from her and went for the door. "I just need to do some errands."
Excuses and more excuses, she thought bitterly. It made her more furious that he wasn't even looking at her. She was sick of having to put up with his indifference.
"Why are you acting this way?" she spat loudly. "You're not like this."
"Tachikawa-san.." Koushiro turned around, saw her already on the verge of tears. Why do I always see you like this? It was unfair that he couldn't do anything about it. So, he said instead, "Can you talk properly without having to shout at anyone?"
What the fuck! "You've been avoiding me for months!"
"We eat together with the others," he cried, but his voice was still too soft to match hers. "We sit beside each other, too!"
She paused, looked down to her shoes, and then to the other end of the room where he stood. The empty classroom was dimly lit by the afternoon sun. She knew that after high school he'll be far away, and probably cut her off. Like the day, it seemed that he was already bidding goodbye.
Kou-kun.. she was losing him, and she knew that he knew that too. Do you really not notice? "It's not the same anymore."
"Mimi.." Even so, he knew where she was coming from. He wanted to be okay. He wanted for things to go back the way they were used to – but it still hurt. If only, he thought, if only his heart was as smart as his mind. "You're asking too much."
He couldn't see it clearly , but he was sure she broke into tears as her head went down.
How could you even ask me this?, was what he truly wanted to hurt more that she never considered the weight of his feelings.
He attempted to smile at her out of spite, but it only lasted a split second. Koushiro turned around – ja matashita, he calmly said. Mimi kept calling his name, demanding answers between her tears. Always the princess, he remembered. He remembered those times that really – he was the only one she had when she was away; remembered that only he truly made great efforts to keep her from being lonely; remembered the midnights he was up for to comfort her when she gets doubtful of the people around her. But Mimi doesn't seem to remember.
He closed the door behind him. He was pretty sure, that after all this time, he loved her the most. Always.
"You should have known that." And so it remains, the slowest goodbye he has to say.
Back inside their classroom, Mimi had sat back down to her seat as she mindlessly looked at her phone.
"I'm sorry," she muttered under her breath as she sent the message. She looked outside the window to see Koushiro's figure disappear from her sight. She rested her head on her table again, stared at her phone as she waited for Taichi to reply; ten minutes when he did.
"Okay. Just rest up for today, then. Let's meet soon! :3"
Upon reading his message, Mimi stood up from her seat and swung her bag with her as she exited the room. She looked around the hallway, remembered how Taichi, Yamato, and Sora would pick her and Koushiro up from their classroom, and they'd all get together for some snack after school. She, Sora, and Koushiro would always get chocolate from the nearest convenience store, while Taichi and Yamato would get spicy ramen. Now she barely had any fond memories of her and Koushiro, apart from sharing the lunch table with Hikari and the rest. Nowadays, only she, Hikari, Daisuke, and Miyako had been eating together.
She passed by the other rooms, the library and the stairways that had become so familiar to her in less than a year. He was always there for her, even when he didn't understand her most of the time. She wondered now, if she really took him for granted, to the point she could no longer save their friendship. It was at this, when Mimi realized that she has been really lonely.
"Goodness," she scolded herself as she wiped her eyes as she stood on front of the school gate. Looking back up while eyes still clouded with tears, she immediately recognized the figure that stood on front of her. Mimi's eyes became rounder.
"Mimi-chan," greeted Sora. She wore a flowery shirt and an apologetic smile. "you look so much prettier with a smile."
Without a second thought, Mimi ran to her arms.
"I really thought you have already forgotten about me." the brunette pouted playfully. Kidding aside, she did think Sora had already forgotten her.
Ashamed, the redhead looked to her shoes and bit her lip. "Ahh.. I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to.." she apologized, still looking for her words. "You know I was trying to sort things with myself.."
"Mhmm.." Mimi was willing to look past through it, though, she could still remember the unpleasant feelings she held because of Sora's uninformed absence. "But.. Don't you ever do that to me again! I've been messaging you for the whole month!"
"I promise," reassured Sora. Mimi smiled in return. "I did sort things out at the end,"
"Ohh, really?"
"Yeah.." Sora looked to her left and right, wondering where they should hang out so they could catch up. They have already reached the commercial area. "But where do you want to go first? My feet are killing me already."
"You're tired already?"
"I played some football yesterday with the former team," she said, laughing. "Really though, where do you want to go?"
Mimi decided to go for ice cream, and they went to the nearest ice cream parlor around. And to which ice cream parlor Mimi took her, was exactly where Sora feared. Of all places, Mimi.. she thought rather bitterly.
"Does it have to be this place?" asked Sora, looking at the very familiar store. "And there's only pizza and salad here."
"Sora, I want ice cream, and you said it's my call," The brunette dragged her inside, and they took a seat by the window. It was exactly at the same spot Sora had dumped Yamato, and she couldn't help but feel paranoid that the blond might bust in at any moment.
"Okay, I presume you want ice cream, but what else do you want to eat?" asked Sora, taking her wallet from her bag.
But Mimi, who still can't get over the fact that she's finally talking to Sora again, had her head somewhere else, even forgetting Izumi Koushiro and her great breakdown earlier. "Sora, did you know I miss you a lot?"
"Mimi, I missed you too, but I'm here now," replied Sora, brushing off Mimi's cheesiness. Not that Sora didn't like it, but she really wanted to talk to her so badly already. "So what do you want?"
"Ice cream, and grilled cheese on pita," the brunette answered cheerfully.
"Okay. Wait here." The redhead sped to the counter as she ordered their food. It only took a minute for their food to get prepared, and Sora came back with their ice cream, and two orders of grilled cheese.
"Thank you Sora-chan," said Mimi, now piercing her spoon to her perfectly-shaped ice cream. Strawberries and kiwi. It made her slightly happy that Sora didn't forget her favorite flavor. "So…what is it that you've figured out?"
"Well.." Sora, unknowingly, was smiling the whole time as she ate her ice cream. "I'm going to fashion school."
The reaction from Mimi was very satisfying. "Oh my God! That's so awesome!" exclaimed the brunette. "Oh my, Sora, that's so awesome, I can't wait for you to make me clothes!"
The ginger laughed. "Yeah, but see, it almost took me forever to know what I want," said Sora. She started to narrate her soul-search, as she likes to put it – how she actually climbed mountains and went river-rafting with some random people at a sports club. The tale amused Mimi a lot, and the more she found out about what happened to Sora for the whole month, the more she envied her.
"It must have been nice," said Mimi, still giggly from all the excitement. "I want to do that too,"
"But really, I wouldn't have found out what I wanted to do if it weren't for Taichi."
Mimi's smile instantly froze. "Taichi? You guys met?" You met with Taichi first and not me?, was what she truly wanted to say.
"Yeah. We did," replied Sora, her smile also disappearing from her lips as she remembered Taichi and his secret. "Ahh.. he was asking for something."
"You met with Taichi first, and not me," spoke Mimi, a bit saddened. "Why? I thought we're okay, Sora,"
Oh shit. She was now more compelled to tell Mimi. "Mimi, no, what are you talking about?"
The brunette pushed her now half-done grilled cheese away, then leaned on her seat.
"You met with Taichi first. You didn't even call or reply to my messages, Sora,"
An awkward silence came in. Sora looked around. The streets were already crowded with people, all rushing to either go home or to the nearest izakaya. It was Friday, after all. By now Taichi would have probably went to the hospital already, and here's his girlfriend not knowing a thing about it. After gaining enough conviction, she decided to tell Mimi.
"Mimi,"
"Mhmm?" Mimi didn't even glance, and only continued to stare through the window with the same blank expression.
"Taichi didn't want you to know this, because he didn't want to worry you," she said, now crossing her arms as she looked down to her food. "But.."
"What is it?" Mimi could only worry more of what Sora had to say. Was Sora going to say she and Taichi went to Ueno Park again, the same thing that pushed Yamato's buttons back then? For the love of God, please let me be able to handle it, she told herself. To be jealous – was something Mimi never wanted to feel.
Sora ran a hand through her hair. She knew very well it wasn't her place to say it to Mimi, but knowing Taichi, Mimi might never get to know. Taichi, you idiot.
"Taichi's father – ojii-san.." it felt heavy to be the bearer of the news. It felt heavier to know that Mimi was finding this out from her, and not Taichi. And the more she talked about Taichi, the accident, the bills, and his new parttime job at the flower shop, the look on Mimi's face only turned more painful to see.
So when Sora ended her big reveal, Mimi could only cry and apologize –
"I'm sorry.."
again,
"I'm so sorry,"
and again.
The day was wearing out, and Koushiro could already feel the cold. Of course, he didn't head straight home after the confrontation with Mimi. So here he was, alone at the convenience store where they usually had hung out, with a three empty and two unopened tetra-boxes of chocolate soya milk surrounding his table.
It's not that I want to lose our friendship… he thought to himself as he rewound the events at the classroom earlier. He wondered if he should have just endured it a little more, if he could have just gone off with her and Taichi and keep pretending he didn't hold these feelings for her. Besides, after graduation, he'd have all the time in the world to forget his feelings.
He pressed his straw to another box of his milk, then sipped. Shame, it was only by then he could truly start moving on. And what he'd regret the most, he told himself, was that he had let his own feelings get in the way of his friendship with Taichi. Taichi, of all people. He must hate me now, too.
The redhead was in his inner monologue for another fifteen minutes, until a sight of a stray cat on the gutter took his attention. The creature was playing all by itself, pouncing through the air as it rolled its body around several times. He started to wonder if all cats really are inherently better off alone. Maybe it's because they're inherently lone hunters like most of the Felidae family? He told himself as he inferred more from his stock knowledge. It was the first time he really gave much thought about cats, so he watched the cat some more, as it started to prowl to an invisible enemy. Whatever it was, he sure found the sight to be entertaining and hypnotizing.
After a few more minutes, he finally pulled his gaze away from the cat. Startled he became, when he looked up to his left and saw Taichi's younger sister taking a photo of the same cat.
How funny, he thought with an amused look on his face. Hikari then returned the look, and waved at him. He waved back while she stood up and went inside the store to sit with him.
Dear Lord, he thought in fear. It was as if his social skills were being tested again.
"Koushiro-san," she greeted. Her smile fell short when she saw the cartons of milk on his table. "Oh my, won't you get diarrhea for this lot?"
"No.. I'm okay, Hikari-chan." Koushiro gave an awkward smile, gave her the last box of milk. He wanted to ask what she was doing alone at the city, but then again, he seemed to already know the answer. Hikari the Cat Lady.
The brunette thanked him and popped the hole of the carton with a straw. "Ahh.. I haven't been seeing you at lunch table nowadays, Koushiro-san," she said as she sipped. "You've been busy?"
"Ahh.." the redhead scratched his head, unsure of what to say. He and Hikari had never been too close. Nor were they close enough to confide to each other about their lives. "Yeah. I was."
"Ohh.." Right, I almost forgot, thought Hikari. If there was anyone quieter than she is, it was Koushiro. "Okay."
Small talk – they both hated it, but it was inevitable. The silence only grew, and only their sipping and the music from the radio could be heard. Both facing the window, they watched the same cat from earlier hunt its food from the trash bin.
Though Hikari had barely said anything apart from the fact that the cat was adorable, he could tell a change of her behavior.
He could already infer from her face that she was sad, despite her calmness and the gentle smile on her lips. Though he knew so little about the matters of the heart, he wasn't that heartless, and surely not dumb to not even recognize.
Koushiro wondered if it had something to do with Takeru again, seeing that the boy had been distant with the group nowadays and had only been hanging out with Ken and some random girls. He was sure it was something more than just her dad getting into the accident.
Perhaps if he were like Yamato or Jyou, he'd ask her how she was and offer her advice. But he always found it rude to even say such (and Koushiro admits he isn't that reliable when it came to advice either). More so, his concern is unsolicited; and it seems, neither Mimi nor the others know anything about the accident.
He took another sip from his milk. Again, none of my business.
"Hehe," she giggled as she took a long slurp. The cat had already went away, and night had already fallen. "Well, I better get going, Koushiro-san. Thank you for the drink,"
"Ohh," He was surprised. Another one to note, she was unbelievably quieter than her usual. "Okay,"
"Koushiro-san," she was packing her camera and equipment inside the school bag. "I hope you visit onii-san soon. He's kind of lonelier.. if you know what I mean."
He had almost choked from his drink, and looked at her with surprise and shame. He wondered if she had always known. "Ahh.. yeah.. I hope so too," he said, trying to match her smile.
"Ahh.. I'm sorry Koushiro-san," she apologized with a soft giggle. "I'll be going now. I need to help oka-san in a while."
"Okay.." A bit distracted, he wondered now, too, if he should return the display of concern. Make it up to Hikari for the sake of Taichi, even just a bit.
A little hint won't hurt, right? So before Hikari was about to leave, Koushiro gathered all of his energy to say –
"Hikari-chan.." he spoke. "Please say hi to oji-san for me.. and I'm sorry I haven't visited him."
She almost lost grip of her bag, forgetting she had a gadget inside. "W-what.."
Koushiro awkwardly smiled and tried to comfort her as her startled eyes started to well up. Great , you made a girl cry again, Izumi, he scolded to himself. Well.. you're just as surprised as I was. In Hikari's case though, she wasn't as good as he is in hiding feelings.
More importantly, she was just standing there, frozen and silent, her head faced down. He didn't know what was going on until he could hear her sniffling.
What do I do? The redhead looked around nervously, saw that the cashier was watching them. It took three minutes for Hikari sit back to where she sat earlier. At this state, she couldn't go home appearing like this on front of her mother.
"Koushiro-san," she spoke, her voice still cracking. "Ahh. I'm sorry.. I was just a bit surprised.."
"Ahh.. it's okay.." he said, rummaging through his pockets for his handkerchief. He forgot that he didn't bring one today. He bit his lip, a bit unsure. "Umm.. do you want to talk about it?"
It was only now that Hikari have heard Koushiro ask such a thing. To be honest, she really didn't want to cry over her dad or Takeru again, nor even talk about it. But rare such a moment came, she felt obliged.
"Ahh.. just.. you know.. it's been hard.." she said in between hiccups, and also managed to chuckle. "Ahh.. I didn't want to tell anyone because otou-san doesn't like to be pitied… Ahh.. I was handling the accident pretty well until.." Hikari paused, already feeling her eyes well up and throat about to choke.
"Ahh.. I'm sorry.." Koushiro felt bad now that he asked. He really didn't like to see girls crying. Apart from Mimi, seeing Hikari cry was akin to animal cruelty – or so he thinks. Though they're not that close, he always saw her as a sister. Whenever he went over to Taichi, she was always hanging around with them, and tried to keep up with whatever they were doing, even in video games.
"No.. Ahh. It's alright," she said, recovering from an almost-outburst of tears. "I don't know if you notice, Koushiro-san, but, Takeru-kun and I.."
Another pause, another deep breath, before she continued on. "Takeru-kun rejected me some weeks ago."
"Really?" Though he asked calmly, he said it really fast, and by the look on his face, even shocked. How on earth.. What? He didn't get it. He never knew much whatever's going on between Takeru and Hikari, but he was so sure they liked each other.
"He rejected me," she repeated, sighing as she hugged her bag. She looked at the window, saw that it was almost nighttime.
Koushiro scratched his head, still confused. Logic could not explain it to him. He was so sure Takeru had told him he liked Hikari.. or maybe I interpreted it wrong?
"Ahh.. I hope you don't mind me asking, and I hope it's not too intrusive, Hikari-chan," he carefully said. "But.. why would Takeru reject you..?Ahh..I mean.. I sort of thought.. it was mutual.." his voice got smaller as he went further.
"He did, he did say he likes me.." she said, remembering what happened again. After what happened at the hallway, she had begun to avoid him. "Ahhh.. but he said he didn't want to be together."
How could that even be.. he didn't understand the logic behind it. Ahh.. I guess Takeru has his reasons I do not know of.. but still, he couldn't help but feel sorry for her. "H-how.. how complicated.." he only managed to say.
"Yeah.." Hikari still could not believe that she was capable of doing something like that. "And I kind of.. I kind of broke down… and.. I don't know. I did something that so unlikely of me.."
Remembering it again, she could feel her eyes sting for the nth time. Ahh.. maybe I wasn't ready to talk about it yet.. And realizing that she had poor control of her feelings on front of Koushiro, she felt reprehensible.
"Ahh. This is so embarrassing. I'm so shameful. I'm sorry, Koushiro-san," she apologized as she bowed to him.
"Don't be.." he assured, giving her an awkward pat on the shoulder. "I'm sorry I asked."
It must have been pretty bad for her to be riled up like this… he thought to himself as he looked at her staring into nothingness. To think Hikari's only fifteen. He knew Hikari dealt with things quietly, and now that she actually opened up to him – me, of all people – meant that she was carrying a lot of weight too much for her to deal with. He wondered how Taichi's been dealing with it now too. Being the man of the house for the moment while also being a son – it must have been difficult for him.
Hikari had found herself talking more than she thought she'd be; she talked more about the thing with Takeru in full detail, and about how she felt still utterly useless around the house while also being spent of being a kid.
All in all, Koushiro could only try to empathize. Trying to show that he does was really difficult for him, so he only managed to repeat different versions of 'I'm sorry about that' and 'it's all going to be all right'.
It wasn't until it was already seven-thirty in the evening they decided to leave the convenience store, and accompanied Hikari to the train station.
"Ahhh.. I didn't expect to burst out like that," she said, still embarrassed. "But thank you for hearing me out, Koushiro-san."
"No problem, Hikari-chan," he said, who also not expected his day to end with a heart-to-heart talk (with Hikari, of all people). "Ahh.. I'm sorry I made you go through all that,"
Hikari smiled, shared the walk with enjoyable silence. By the time they reached the station, something started to bother her. She was about to pass the turnstile.
"Koushiro-san," she said. At this rate, she thought there wasn't any shame left for her to ask such. "I hope you don't mind, but.. how do you feel about my brother and Mimi-chan..?"
Now this time, he was prepared. He sighed in defeat and gave an awkward smile, hoping she won't force him to talk about it. "Do you really want me to start on that?"