Author's Note: I know it's been months since the last update, and I'm still just glad there are people still reading this. Been busy with life, and for my followers, you may as well know I've been hooked on Persona 5. Hehe. This chapter's been pretty heavy, far from perfect but.. I don't know. I find it very special. I think we've finally come to this. Thank you again, everyone, and I'll be seeing you again in the next chapter!
Salad Days
Chapter Thirty-Four
Death and All His Friends
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Loss
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Today, he will turn to ashes. It was eight in the morning at the Yagami main house in Chiba. The grandparents had gone off to the market to buy some food. Yuuko remains asleep.
Hikari sat in the same corner since dawn, as if a living statue guarding the deceased just a few meters next to her. She wondered if she could die the same way - with a knife on hand while burning in eternal flames. She always thought her father would die of old age, not of illness. To her right was the basket of condolence money, which didn't take long to get filled; they accumulated 450,000 yen in total – most coming from the wealthier relatives of the Yagami clan, his father's firm, and the Takenouchi and Tachikawa families. It was a lot, and Hikari thought this money would probably have meant something to them if it came months ago when they needed it most. It was too late.
She single-handedly prepared almost everything, with the helpful hand of her grandparents, Sora, and Mimi. There was almost no time for her to grieve as she would have to cater to relatives and friends of his father, put a solemn smile which she herself already thinks insincere; but all for the sake of formality she should. No sleep, no rest. At night she would stay by the casket and make sure the incense that the priest had lit never goes out. She'd eventually fall asleep from the same corner she sits; sometimes she'd wake up with a blanket around her.
To a certain point, she'd convince herself it was her father whom had given her the blanket. She was a sickly child after all. She'd remember how her father would pick her up from the sofa and place her back into her room, and he'd stay if she makes it too difficult for him to let go. He'd stay up beside her, lull her to sleep.
"Nen nen korori yo, okorori yo, bōya wa yoi ko da, nen ne shina.." she sang in whispers, recalling how the how the lullaby went, the feeling of his hand brush her forehead, in a direction in which she would inevitably close her eyes. She rubbed her eyes with her blanket, wetting it a bit.
She looked around once more within the main room where his father laid, where funerary decors and her grandparents' vintage items from generations ago clashed; then there was the most notable portrait of their great grandfather, who was an ace fighter pilot during the War. He was nicknamed as the "Sky Samurai" and had earned the then-Emperor's silver watch. He returned as a civilian when the peace treaty was made and had left the world peacefully of old age. As far as what Hikari knows, the aviator goggles that Taichi inherited came from him.
Speak of the devil.
Outside, there was her brother, whom had spent most of the wake with his own company. Hikari's eyes began to water at the sight of her brother. She wanted to tell him so many things, yell at him, cry, maybe punch him, make him apologize for abandoning her and their mother for the first two days since their father's death, for not showing up on front of their oba-san and oji-san as soon as possible, and so much more.
Taichi came back only because, as the eldest son, he was obliged to make the funeral arrangements and contacting the temple. It wasn't even him who had made the certain arrangements; he was simply, physically there. Where his mind is, no one knows. Their mother remained mute, could not express any of her sentiments or her worry to him right after disappearing on them; she remained mostly invisible since the death.
Neither Taichi nor Hikari had talked to each other since then.
Today, she awaited the visitors who will be in Susumu Yagami's funeral.
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Estrangement
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All cladded in black, Sora, Jyou and Mimi were the first to arrive. It was nine in the morning when they did. The daylight was somber. Along with them came four flower arrangements from the Takenouchi flower shop, all expertly handmade by Sora herself. Toshiko was at first reluctant to send sympathy flowers as it was not a custom of the Takenouchi clan to do so; it was not the 'traditions' of their culture and did not want to offend the Yagamis. Sora thought otherwise, thinking that the flowers might just lighten the mood of the already crumbling household of Taichi and Hikari.
The four arrangements – she made them all out of chrysanthemums and lilies. They brought them inside, put them in the garden. They saw Taichi standing in his black suit, looking upwards.
"Good morning, Taichi." Jyou greeted.
Quieter greetings came from Sora and Mimi, but Taichi did not spare a glance, or even a sound to acknowledge them. Mimi simply looked away, her grip on her clutch tightened. They haven't talked either since the day Susumu died.
"Have you eaten breakfast, Taichi-kun?" Mimi was already feeling so defeated and hopeless, but she smiled. This was the remaining of her best efforts. "I prepared some food.. your favorite rolls. We should eat them together!"
Sora glanced at the brunet, anticipating him to at least greet Mimi. She had already noticed the friction on her friendship with Taichi; she partly accepted the blame, for she wasn't there for him in three days. It was okay, Sora understood, she knew this would happen, she knew she hasn't been there. But it shouldn't matter, because Mimi is here. For him. "Taichi,"
Unfortunately for her, Taichi had already sensed the stern tone of her voice and had then walked away from them and gone to the backyard.
Disbelieved, Sora looked back at Mimi, whose eyes were stuck on the ground. "I'm sorry he's like this, Mimi."
"It's okay, Sora-chan," she beamed, feigning her optimism. "He did lose someone irreplaceable to him.."
The redhead released a heavy, frustrated sigh. "He has to get his shit together."
"Too early, Sora. It's okay. He'll come around…" comforted Jyou as he held the ginger's shoulder. She eased up at his touch, her temper wavering as she let out a heavy sigh.
"Yeah.. you're right."
Mimi watched the exchange between the new lovers, can't help but look at them in envy. The brunette headed to the kitchen, resorting to comforting Yuuko.
Sora spotted Hikari cradled in her corner next to the casket. She couldn't tell if she was asleep or awake, as Hikari was as still as a statue.
"I'm sorry I couldn't help that much," Jyou whispered out of the blue, catching her attention.
"No.." Sora shook her head and kissed his cheek, knowing that whatever problem she was having, Jyou also took it as his.
If it weren't for him, she would have probably been blaming herself for everything and remained guilty. "Thank you."
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Regret
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Came next, just before lunch time, was the Takaishi-Ishida brothers along with Daisuke and Koushiro. None of the boys owned a vehicle so they resorted to the train commute, which took approximately an hour. An additional hour for getting lost in the district.
"We would have been here much earlier if we followed Google Maps," grunted Koushiro as he held his phone. He would have accepted getting lost outside Tokyo - the provincial areas. But the fact that they still managed to get lost inside the metropolis was very disturbing to him.
"Don't blame me, the street sign said to turn left!" exclaimed Daisuke defensively, his eyes looking for someone else to blame. He resorted to his favorite person. "and you've been here before, haven't you?" he told Takeru.
The blond snorted to disagree and waved a hand to scoff him. "I've only been here twice, I still won't remember the turns,"
The maroon-haired grunted under his breath as he readjusted his necktie. "Ugh. You're unreliable."
"Aww. Don't be like that, Dai-kun," teased Takeru, earning a glare from his friend. He looked around to see Koushiro and his brother standing still at the gate, both showing no signs of interest to enter. "aniki, are you okay?"
The older blond gulped the build-up on his throat, his mind somewhere else as he anticipated an inevitable encounter with a certain brunette offender. "Y-yeah.. let's just get this over with," he answered as he apprehensively opened the gate.
Takeru spotted a familiar elderly - Yukiko-obasan. She was watering the small garden at the front in her black yukata. The last time he saw her was when he and Hikari visited her on a school day last year. Before it all went downhill.
The younger blond graced a brief smile at the recalled memory, now knowing how different it all was.
"Good morning, oba-san," Yamato said as he bowed his head. The rest had followed his gesture. "we're friends of Taichi.. we're sorry for your loss."
The old woman looked up and smiled. "Good morning, and thank you," she replied, taking Yamato's arm as she pulled them inside the household. "you boys should get in! You must be all hungry.."
Takeru wondered if Yukiko still remembers him, he has met her twice after all. "How's your koi breeding going, oba-san?"
The old woman looked behind, her eyes squinting as she tried to recognize the blond. The gesture slightly made Takeru sad, but it was understandable since she's already 89. He counted again to check his math. Yep. 89.
"Ahh! Takeru-chan!" the lady loosened her grip from Yamato's and then to Takeru's. The three proceeded inside as they removed their shoes, holding off Takeru.
So she does remember me, he thought in glee.
"I'm sorry for the news, oba-san," he said. "Have you been doing well?"
"I am and thank you, Takeru-chan," the old lady said, grasping his hands this time. Her kind brown eyes gleamed with youth despite the wrinkles that framed them and her white hair. "Although I wished I was the first to go than Susumu.. it's not right when the offspring goes first before the parent, you know,"
"I can't imagine what you're going through, oba-san. I hope you feel better soon," reassured the blond as he held his hand to support Yukiko on climbing the platform. When he succeeded, he took off his shoes, looked around inside and immediately saw Hikari at the corner. The sight removed the smile in his eyes, but he remained nonchalant as he still has to deal with Yukiko.
"But you've grown more handsome, Takeru-chan," the old woman mused. "have you asked out my granddaughter already? You know you two would make a fine couple!"
Takeru faked a smile, his own blue eyes glancing to and fro Hikari. "..when she begins to feel okay already, oba-san."
With more formalities and idle chit chat, Yukiko finally left Takeru to tend to the other guests. The boy breathed heavily as he approached the casket, his eyes stuck on the dry ice. From his left, he heard Hikari's soft breathing. He drew closely and cautiously and knelt before her as he held the tips of her fingers. She looked so tired and worn out - the circles in her eyes deepened and was only emphasized as she slept on her rather precarious position. Her scent of her hair smelled like incense and charcoal.
His head barraged him a waterfall of apologies that should have come from his mouth. An apology as a condolence to her father's death. An apology for being selfish. An apology for being a terrible friend. An apology for breaking her heart. An apology for being a coward. An apology for not being able to say them at all.
He said other words instead, all the while knowing he has no right to tell her this. "I love you, Hikari."
For all the times he denied it to her, this was the first time he didn't.
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Fear
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Daisuke, Takeru, Koushiro and Yamato have gone to their separate ways as they entered the house. Everyone's here and they, the Chosen Children, were yet to share a room and convene.. just like the old times.
It was such an eerie feeling for Koushiro - to be in the family house of a friend who currently hates him. Taichi had eloquently verbalized his hatred for him since the day he went to the rooftop. Mimi had certainly shown distance as well. Was this God's way for him to atone his sins? He didn't even believe in religion until the past few days when began to develop anxiety attacks as Taichi denied his offers of help.
"Water? Tea? Juice?" Sora spoke from the counter as she stood next to Mimi. "What is it, Kou?"
"Tea. Thanks," he answered shortly. Now, this was not the first time he thought about it - he's fully aware he's terrible at getting hints and social cues.. but even Sora was sounding just as snappy as Taichi.
A cup of tea was placed before him by Mimi, in which after she immediately disappeared to the next room. It was only him and Sora.
Koushiro's eyes found the antique cupboard amusing all of the sudden as he sipped from the porcelain. The taste of the matcha was as if over-steeped.
"Any luck on Taichi?" spoke Sora, sitting across him. Her ruby eyes pried against his dark ones.
"None.." he replied lowly. "obviously."
The girl let out an exasperated sigh as she covered her face with her palms, a cue for Koushiro that she's stressed with the whole ordeal. He bit his lower lip.
"I'm sorry I can't be more effective.." he apologized as he watched the green of his matcha gleam with the light. "I messed it all up."
"I'm sorry.." she waved at him with the other hand running through her hair. "I.. I just don't know what to do.. since I left high school I've just been.."
"You don't need to explain yourself, Sora."
The girl smiled as she sat straight. "I wish I could say the same for you, Kou-kun."
"I'm.. what happened to me doesn't justify what I did.." he said, his fingers dribbling the wooden table. "I.. I know now what went wrong.. how I treated Taichi.. Mimi.."
Koushiro paused as a relative of the Yagami's entered the kitchen, grabbing some grub from the fridge. When he left, Koushiro resumed. "But it was so painful I just couldn't.. just couldn't be a better friend.. I loved.." he shook his head with a laugh. "no.. I still love her, and I can't undo it. I wish I could. I wish it was simple. Falling in love with the best friend is really a bad idea,"
Sora smirked at his last statement, remembering her old feelings. Hearing these things from Koushiro did not surprise her, she already knew what was going on in his head, but for him to verbally admit it was refreshing. It was a start for him to move on.
"It doesn't help that it's Taichi, does it?" she spoke the obvious.
"You already know that though," he replied with a chuckle. "I won't ever betray him."
The girl's gaze fell on the table as she studied his words. "But you can't be friends with him while at it, can you?"
There was no reply, just Koushiro looking down on his cup. She could not fault him for it. Not at all. She knew how complicated the matters of the heart are, and for someone like Koushiro, it was probably more difficult to deal with his feelings than solving the right cut of a time bomb.
"I'm sorry," she muttered, ready to give up the conversation.
"When I heard about oji-san passing away.. and then Taichi.." he began. "it was then I found out that I can't stand not being friends with him at all.. so I went to him.. even though we haven't spoken properly for months.. I went to him."
"I.. I honestly don't know what's going on in his head.. Taichi.." Sora lamented as guilt for not being able to help him overcome his struggles. Not the way she used to do so anyway. "Mimi can't reach through him too.. I really don't know. I'm sorry."
"I know.." he replied. "and frankly, it's the first time I'm actually scared of losing someone."
Sora cocked a brow. "Mimi? Taichi?"
"..they might just forget about me.. and it'll be all my fault," he said as he closed his eyes.
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Solitude
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The house was surprisingly big. Since that day, Taichi had barely spoken any words. Sora had commended her for being so supportive - "I'm proud of you, Mimi" - though the compliment seemed to pressure her into putting more effort. She was tired, physically and emotionally, having dedicated the rest of her free time taking care of Hikari and Yuuko, with Taichi being away God-only-knows-where.
But now, she's finally caught up with him. She found him atop the roof, eating some rice balls by himself as he gazed at the horizon. How he managed to climb up was beyond her - there was no ladder, just a steep platform that was meant for the bonsai collection to be placed. She tried her luck with it, and thanks to her developed stomach core, she managed to climb up.
And here she is now, sitting next to him, eating rice balls as well.
It's been some good fifteen minutes since an exchange between them. Taichi had spent most of his time during the wake like a passing ghost, only interacting with her and his grandparents to ask about food.
"Please talk to me, Taichi," she pleaded again. Her patience with him has been amazing so far, not even Sora could keep up with him, and Hikari had immediately given up communicating with him since he disappeared. His mother had fallen ill the day after the death was announced, and she was also processing her own grief.
And then there was Yamato, who refused to engage even in an SMS conversation with her. Her one and only support. Her thoughts are cut off as Taichi reached out a hand to hold hers. He leaned down to cover his eyes with her hand. He silently wept, with every huff from him tightening his grip.
The gesture surprised her so, and she was about to cry too; she often felt so when the impenetrable Taichi became vulnerable. But she won't allow it. Not today, not now, even if she's already on the brink. She looked up at the sky to fight back her tears. The sight of cumulonimbus clouds had her reckoning the rain anytime soon.
They remained like that for a while - with Taichi crying and her pushing back her own. He said no words at all, but somehow she could understand the pain in his heart. A few minutes passed by before Taichi sat back, his eyes still wet and he was still crying, only now subtle. His gaze remained on hers, a sorry expression painted on him.
A nagging voice already told her what was going to happen, and it made her heart skip beats.
"We're done, Mimi."
She froze. The eerie silence atop the roof, along with the horizon, screamed at her. "H.. huh?"
"I'm sorry."
Dumbfounded with everything that's happening, she closed her eyes and processed his sudden decision. Being calm and collected was not one of her best traits, but the situation was requiring so. She had been here before - at both ends - thanks to those ex-lovers of hers. Other people push away the ones they love when they're sad, and Taichi was probably doing the same thing. She already knew this, Mimi reminded herself, but the way the idea came so easily for him, the way he said it, the way he can just casually decide on it without her, to leave each other - to leave her - weighed more in her heart than anything else.
She can't be weak now, not when he is.. but she couldn't anymore.
"Okay." she said, with tears cascading down to betray her smile.
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Melancholy
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Jyou roamed around the garden, appreciating the flowers and herbal plants that surrounded the old house, wondered if Sora had seen them before. The Yagami main-house was reminiscent of old family clans, and such was the Kido main-house in Kyoto as well, only there were more ponds than gardens. Judging from the textile decorations and portraits that hung in the rooms and tables, as well as the display of vintage armaments, the Yagamis was a warrior clan, having been around the Sengoku era. Its participation with the Emperor came to an end 1940's. He couldn't help but think if the cultural heritage association knew about the clan, though.
Jyou found a small koi pond with several baby carps swimming around. The indigo-haired boy sighed out of relaxation. Today's been bleak and if he'd put it frankly, socially painful. With the exception of Sora, the rest of his companions were acting like complete strangers. Taichi and Hikari were excused, but the behaviors of Yamato, Mimi and Takeru have been bugging him for some moments now. Yamato was actively hiding from the brunette, with Mimi chasing Taichi around the house, and Takeru just sighed and stared lost in his obviously-in-a-dilemma disposition.
Not that he could blame them for all that's been happening.. but he did resent them for the gloomier atmosphere. They should be comforting Taichi and Hikari, if anything. And here he was, worrying about something else. It rubbed off wrong with him that this seemed more like a big deal to him than the death of Susumu.
It was not like before. The dynamics have truly changed. He couldn't even get Taichi to stay in the same room with him. It was then he began to wonder, should he have played a more active role as the senpai of the group? Maybe if he kept in touch with Mimi the way they used to be, or paid more attention to Takeru.. maybe. Just maybe.
He chuckled to himself. You've got a life of your own, Jyou, he reminded. He wouldn't say it, but he did miss the old days. He looked back at the pond, smiled to himself as he found it very therapeutic.
"Jyou?" he heard a familiar voice from behind. He looked back to see Yamato with a cigarette between his fingers.
"I didn't know you smoked now," teased the older boy while he hid his discontent of the vice. "don't let the oba-san catch you."
The blond chuckled in embarrassment. "I don't," replied the blond simply as he stood next to him as he glanced at his untouched cigarette. "I wanted to, though. It smelled bad."
"No shit," the doctor-to-be jested.
"Seven Stars. I'm not sure if the scent is exclusive to the pack though."
"They all smell bad, in my opinion."
"You tried?"
"Yeah."
Yamato snickered. Who would have thought Kido Jyou would actually try smoking. "..that's new."
"Not really.." he replied as he readjusted his glasses. "I had earlier tries during high school."
"No one knew," mused Yamato. "why did you?"
"Stressed. College plans."
"Now that's unsurprising." Yamato chuckled, now turning off the lit cigarette with the heel of his boot. Jyou saw him do so, and couldn't help but think of how wasteful it was, since it's unused. He observed Yamato through his peripheries, the constant sighs, and heaves of his shoulders; the confusion in his blue eyes. He was about to say something, when his own eyes caught a certain brunette walking towards their direction.
"Have you talked to her yet?" asked Jyou, his eyes fixated on Mimi's approaching form. She looked rather down, and her eyes all puffy.
"No," the blond responded with annoyance. "why?"
Jyou pointed out a finger that rested against his lips. "She's headed this way."
Horror and dread took out all the color of Yamato's face, his whole body stiffened, avoiding at all costs to turn around. "You've got to be fucking kidding me,"
The older boy patted his back and turned around. "W-wait, you're leaving me?!" the boy hissed.
"Good luck." he said it with a hint of sarcasm, leaving Yamato with his inevitable confrontation. About time.
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Resentment
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It was just three hours away before the cremation ceremony, and rain had poured down on Chiba. Yamato's eyes remained fixated on the pond, his body as stiff as a tree, his breathing pace shortened. He sat on the wooden floor; Mimi copied him, who was just inches away from him to his right. The air was humid, despite the sudden downpour. So was the tension between them.
"Long time no talk," Mimi was the first to break the silence as her eyes followed a pink carp roam around the pond. "how are you?"
Yamato held his stature, unflinching as he said nothing. Mimi's feeble attempt at small talk seemed to only fan the flames of his anger. How was she able to keep such a nonchalant face after what happened between them infuriated him. Worse, he still couldn't bring himself to hate her at all. When Mimi took the hint, this only seemed to make her more inquisitive.
He saw her bob her head to the side through his peripheries, her brown hair cascading down to the side. "Yama-kun?"
The way she said his name, with that affectionate honorific attached to it had his heart skipping, but at the same time, it only embittered him. How the hell she could stomach this was beyond him.
"Why?" his voice was collected but demanding.
"Why what?"
He finally turned his head to face her for the first time since that Sunday. Her caramel met his blue, attempting to melt the ice in his eyes. He shook his head and laughed out of disbelief. Sighing, he squinted his brows as he watched her. "You're really something else, you know that?"
"Ohh.." Mimi looked away and bit her lip, sensing it was time for her to stop beating around the bush. "I'm sorry," frankly, she hasn't thought about it at all since oji-san's death; her focus had only been Taichi alone. "it was an accident,"
"No it wasn't," he snapped, the tone very hostile. "it happened. It happened, and you made it happen,"
Yamato couldn't believe it. And here he was, days passed with him agonizing over her - over Taichi, over their friendship. And she couldn't even give him a decent explanation? The fuck.
"I can't believe you, Mimi. Just what do you exactly think of me?"
The brunette gaped. A while ago she was pretty sure why he was upset.. but now she wasn't. Why can't Yamato simply accept her apology over something trivial and obviously something that she doesn't care about was bugging her. "But I've told you, Yamato.. it was an accident. And I'm sorry. It happens. You're a guy, I'm a girl, we were both at the moment.. it was a mistake."
Yamato huffed as he straightened his posture as he glanced at her. "Since when did you become so deep,"
What the hell?! If she had the energy to punch him, she would have already done so. But it's been hours since she's trying to get Taichi to sit with her, and she's emotionally exhausted.
"What exactly do you want me to say?" The brunette glared at him as her knuckles turned white. "Why are you getting so riled up all over this? You do know it was just a kiss, right?"
Just a kiss? His mind raced for, unable to fathom her logic. I can't believe this.
He ran through his mane, unable to hide his frustration. This was torturous. "You're impossible,"
"Why are you getting so worked up over a damn peck, Yamato?" she retorted, now also matching his hostility. "I told you it was an accident, I got caught up in the moment, okay? I'm sorry.. what do you want me to do?"
He shook his head, his memory not matching her story. "It wasn't just a kiss, and certainly not just a peck,"
And Mimi just couldn't care enough to validate her own memory, not after what happened earlier with Taichi. "It doesn't matter," she argued. "we're not together, so why is it becoming a problem? Why do I need to also have a problem with you?!"
"Because we're supposed to be friends."
In that moment, his blue eyes showed the first speck of hurt, taking Mimi aback. She loved him dearly, and she was not going to lose him, too. Her heart became desperate.
"But we are.." she crawled next to him, reaching a hand to hold his. He didn't budge, a sign that he was welcoming her peace offering.
"I'm sorry for making things complicated. I didn't want to.. I honestly didn't.. Let's just forget about it.." she nuzzled her forehead on his forearm, the first warm sensation he felt since he arrived here. He marveled at how the rain drops meet the pond as they formed circles. He shivered when he sensed the wetness of his forearm.
"He left.." she whimpered against the garment. "Taichi.. he left." The blond closed his eyes as he tried to fight his own tears. He recalled their old memories, those full of laughter and aimless talks under the night sky at Rainbow Bridge. He loves her, he reaffirms it to himself, and they will never be the same again.
"You're the only one I have now, Yamato," she whispered, her tears wetting the sleeve of his coat. "don't leave me, okay?"
For how long he could pretend to be just a friend, he didn't know, but he was certain that a confession from him was the last thing she needed.
He pulled her closer to him and allowed her to weep some more. "I won't."
You're so unfair..
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Emptiness
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He was wet to the bone, and he could feel the cold creeping into his system, preparing him for the flu. But none of that mattered. From the roof, Taichi could see anyone who went outside, and for a while. he felt a jolt of jealousy as he witnessed the shared intimacy between Mimi and Yamato from afar, even though he has no right to do so. Another jolt when he saw Sora and Jyou hold hands and kiss at the garden. This is once again replaced by apathy as his way of coping; unable to completely process his own feelings.
Well, he had an idea of what he really felt. He was sad. Sad that his father died. It was simple as that - and yet it bothered him that he couldn't act like it. Not the way his mother and sister expressed theirs.
Taichi began to climb down the roof with careful steps on the steep platforms. He went back inside through the rear entrance, the one that led to the altar room. Oji-san was there, busy with his broadsheet. He dried himself up, changed his clothes in a nearby bathroom. He returned perusing the altar again, remembering every story of each antique item in the altar walls. HIs father used to tell him that the sword on the wall was owned by a late Tokugawa-era samurai of their kin - a skilled swordsman who ironically died by gunshot. The haori embroidered with an illustration of the national army from the 40's was owned by a Yagami who committed hara-kiri out of posttraumatic stress disorder. The map stretched out across the wall was made by the first female Yagami to become an Imperial warrior. The moral lesson, as his father would say, is that legacy comes in different forms, and they don't always appear on the wall.. something a five-year-old Taichi wouldn't have understood.
And with those thoughts in his head, he couldn't help but wonder, what sort of memory did his father leave to the world? And what would he himself offer to this world? If saving the world and fighting alongside digital monsters count, he thought to himself, how about all those part-time jobs and late night shifts he took - do they still mean something if I couldn't even save him? He can't treat Mimi right, the only person who stayed with him through the end.
Embittered, he looked away from the wall and looked at his grandfather.
"Oji-san.. do we have snacks?"
The old man looked at him curiously from his broadsheet. "There's sashimi platter and korokke brought by your uncles.."
"Thanks."
"Taichi," he called out before he managed to leave. The boy turned to him, dreading. Nozomu Yagami raised a brow as he stared at his swollen eyes. "your friends have been looking for you. Don't be rude and attend to your guests."
The concern could not be hidden by hiser stern tone. "Yes, oji-san." He bowed his head in courtesy before leaving.
He went to check up on his mother, bringing with him an ice pack as he tended to her for a bit. She was sweating profusely yet she shivered in her sleep. Taichi readjusted the dehumidifier, hoping that she'd feel better once he goes back.
His next stop was the kitchen, where he was greeted by Sora, Jyou, Takeru, Koushiro, and Daisuke eating snacks on the table. All eyes were on him as the idle chatter between the group died down to be replaced by awkward silence. The brunet ignored the difference and proceeded to look for snacks. Frankly, he felt too ashamed to face them, especially after putting them through his personal drama - accidental or not. And he did feel bad about Koushiro, although he won't admit that, ever.
Everyone began to exchange glances, motioning each other to approach Taichi. Sora stood from her seat as she walked towards him.
"Hey," she greeted in her most casual voice.
"Hey." It's been so long, he thought to himself, opening a plastic container to find whatever leftover there was. It was rice mixed with egg. He took some spoonfuls 'til he was satisfied.
"You gonna be okay?" this was probably the fourth time Sora asked him the same question today.
His lips twitched upwards very slightly as he thought of a better rebuttal, thanks to the scene he saw earlier. "so you and senpai, huh." he jested in an impassive expression, eyes avoiding hers; though Sora could read between the lines. She's known him for so long after all.
"Save it for later." The redhead snickered as she patted him on the back, assured for now that Taichi was going to be okay. She went back to her table with everyone else, their conversation picked up again as he went to the living room, where the casket was.
He hovered over Hikari's sleeping form, her heavy breathing warned him that she might get attacked by her asthma again - no surprise there when she often spent with candles, incenses, and coals. His eyes then turned to the casket, now feeling guilty.
I'm sorry, otou-san. He carefully carried Hikari on his back, slowly bringing her to her room. It was getting crowded now, noting the number of guests wearing black. He could hear their talks, idle gossip about his family, about him, Hikari, their mother, father.. and he just wanted all of it to stop.
Taichi was going to carry the weight for a long time.
"Oni-san.." Hikari muttered in her slumber, almost losing balance due to his surprise. "It's going to be okay.."
But at the very least, it felt a little lighter from that moment on.