Hell; he had known taking over the captaincy of Discovery would be a trial, given the briefing delivered from Starfleet when he received the temporary transfer order… but Christopher Pike hadn't anticipated the last 48 hours. Not one single second.
Enterprise had gone to hell; the crew managed the lock-down of their state-of-the art flag-ship without fear or hesitation. His first officer had taken charge with the level-headed and efficient approach he had come to admire from her over the years.
Perhaps there was something in the design of the universe… they were stranded now at a home scarred by war and pain.
Naturally, as in all things, Chris had looked to his confidante; the good doctor (Boyce) had poured a generous Saurain brandy and asked him, "What are you afraid of?"
Hell…
And that's what he and the Enterprise crew had lived while on their mission and away from the war.
Over the months of reports received from the frontier was the voice of his Science Officer reminding him… what was the point of continuing on their mission and exploring the edges of space… if there was no one left to read their reports?
If there was no one left to return to?
And when there was the opportunity to serve… How could he not accept the position of the Captain's chair onboard Discovery?
It was where Starfleet wanted him… where they required him… but it was hell to leave Enterprise in her hour of need.
Nose-to-nose, Discovery was a contemporary design… cubistic, even, when looking with an artistic eye. Enterprise was sleek, superlative, superior… if currently inoperable.
Even in design this ship was sharp and painful to behold… so it was little surprise that as he materialised on the transporter pad, Captain Pike felt the weight of the Discovery crew gather on his shoulders with every reconstituted particle.
It was in the air; they were damaged and drained… betrayal wept from the walls of the ship. He felt it and understood…
Lied to and manipulated by their last Captain; this crew was expected to be one tough crowd.
Flanked by two of his officers, Pike hardened in-line with Discovery's current command style; this was the consequence of war… a war he and the Enterprise crew had not been permitted to partake in.
That bitterness tainted every footstep taken in this torn vessel.
While complete and whole in reality, Discovery felt fractured and burned. Time was the only healer.
And they had no time.
What he had was the mission… and he was going to stay on mission.
The bridge couldn't be taken without genetic confirmation, so the Kelpain commander, Saru, had passed him into the care of a flustered and blushing Ensign in order to confirm receipt of command.
Still on-mission, Pike hadn't really made the time to say hello to the young crew-member, allowing her to lead him to the security console as he assessed the bridge and noting the uncertainty hanging in the air. He had a lot of work to do here.
"Ok, Captain Pike," the young woman batted her eyes, "Stand-by for verification." The young red-head continued to shuffle from foot-to-foot, tugging at her uniform and nervously introducing herself and explaining how she was the newest member of the command program.
Christopher allowed himself to look her way… there was something about her that disarmed him from the current dread of his assignment… he double-took (and he never usually had to…) so he did all he could do and coolly greeted, "Hi."
She flushed an endearing shade of pink, high on her cheeks, making him take another look at the raw, unhindered woman; what it was to be so young and eager…
He knew why she was on-edge… he knew the respect his rank and position on Enterprise had earned… a little hero worship was not unexpected… but she seemed particularly flustered. There was something somewhat flattering for a man closing on his forties and he felt a rush from having so much attention.
Tilly hadn't noticed his observations and seemed exhilarated from his smooth greeting, nodding emphatically and blurting out, "Yeah, you have really beautiful nail beds…"
Almost instantly, she winced and turned on away from him, squeezing her eyes shut.
Hell, he'd had worse compliments and Christopher felt a smile on his lips; it was a welcome sensation that he had not experienced since the onset of the Federation/Klingon war… and, perhaps more for this than the compliment he said, "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Tilly responded automatically, looking slightly wide-eyed and mortified she had said it at all… The display only making her all the more adorable.
Was he ever like this when he was her age? She must be in her early twenties… at least 17 years his junior…
Given the darkness clinging to the air on-board this beleaguered ship, Tilly was, without a doubt, a bright light for her weary crew; Chris noticed the fondness of those officers around him when they looked at her puzzling over why the scanner was taking such a length of time to analyse his information...
And why wouldn't they be fond of her? She was delightful.
'Oh... I know what's wrong,' she smiled a goofy smile and giggled and reached over to move his hand, 'Uh, your pinkie…'
Christopher took a breath and couldn't help the grin on his face become a full-blown smile…
She sniggered slightly as she laughed, "Um… It's just really weird to say "pinkie" to a captain."
God! He could enjoy the company of this young woman for hours as he watched her blunder, a little caught-up in her own thoughts and she continued, "It's not a very authoritative finger."
A background murmur of amusement warmed the air around the bridge as she moved more fully into his personal space and hesitated, "But, um, you know, it's not on the right pad."
Leaning across him, she asked, "Can I…" grabbing his finger to pull it into position.
Chris couldn't help himself and mock-winced at the action…
The ensign instantly went into meltdown, moving closer to him to check he was alright.
God! She really was delightful; they could easily be the only two in the room as he smiled and teased her, admitting, 'Kidding'.
Relief flooded through her as Tilly gave him a roll of her eyes, 'Oh my God! I thought I'd broken a Captain!'
Quite possibly, Chris thought as they both laughed, but not in the way you're thinking.
He was enjoying the flirtation so much that when she hit the console and his personnel file blew up onto the main viewer he couldn't be upset.
"That's alright ensign," he soothed, stepping back into his command role and away from indulgence. In a way, it was best that Tilly had blundered... It gave him a chance to literally show he had nothing to hide.
Before he knew it, the mission had escalated to the rescue of critically injured crew stranded after the crash-landing of USS Hiawatha and a thrilling escape from the crumbling surface of the asteroid they had collided with.
Discovery's crew proved their dedication to Starfleet and Pike was beginning to feel accepted; making the temporary reassignment as her Captain for the duration of the Enterprise's repair a little more bearable.
He felt justified in making the ready-room his own; transferring personal effects from Enterprise and arranging 1-2-1's with the bridge crew.
He'd already found his stride with Saru and Burnham… the navigators and communications officers would take a little work… the doctor was pleased as long as Pike wasn't as 'suicidal' as most captains she had treated over the years (a direct quote) and that left engineering.
Captain Pike sat on the couch in his ready room, surrounded by the boxes of his personal effects, as he reviewed the last key member of his provisional family.
The chimer sounded and Pike took a breath, "Come."
Tilly had worn her hair down and was momentarily haloed fire through the yellow light of the bridge… Pike briefly wondered if the angel Burnham had described looked anywhere near the vision he was caught in… He cleared his mind and the Captain clicked back into his command role, gesturing for her to join him on the couch.
Tilly stuttered over her footsteps along the way as he asked her if she would like a drink. She approached with a camomile tea and perched on the edge of the seat, avoiding his eye.
Pike took a few moments to consider the officer beside him, "Why are you here, ensign?"
Tea nearly shot across the room as Tilly spluttered, "You… invited me… sir…"
"No…" he sat forward, "No… I mean, why are you here on this ship?"
She frowned, placing her tea on the table and answering, "I was assigned..."
"In Starfleet," Chris finished quickly, preventing any further miscommunication.
"Oh!" A smile beamed across her face as she intoned a longer, "Oh… ok…. Why am I in Starfleet?" Tilly laughed nervously, "Why am I..?" She laughed again before squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head, "You must think I'm so stupid…"
Chris found himself moving toward her, offering her a tissue and comforting, "How could I think that… of Starfleet's newest recruit to the command program?"
Tilly looked up at him through her eyelashes… and for that moment, she was the only other person in the universe.
God, Chris hoped he wasn't developing a crush. Surely, he was too old for this feeling?
But as the young ensign took the tissue and dabbed her lips to hide a blush, the seasoned Captain felt a sigh rush through his lungs…
Perhaps it wasn't too late in his life for a crush after all.
Tilly took up her tea again and relaxed into the seat, "Ok… why am I in Starfleet?" She smiled, "When I was little, my mom wasn't around too much… but that was ok… she was busy and I had science… and that became family. It welcomed me and made me feel normal."
Chris frowned, "You don't think you're normal."
Tilly pulled a funny face and gave a side-snort, "Well… not really… and that's ok too. Because not normal means extraordinary. And that's what science was to me. Before I knew it, I was miles ahead of the other kids in school and my teacher told me there was a place where I could learn everything there was to know… and that place was Starfleet."
Still slightly uncomfortable with the young woman before him believing she was not normal, Chris breathed… "And so… you're here to learn… everything."
Tilly nodded enthusiastically and, with an adorable grin, admitted, "And maybe discover a whole bunch of new stuff along the way."
"Adorable," Chris nodded.
"Pardon?" Tilly asked, a little startled.
Shit! "Admirable," he corrected smoothly, "Your ambition and drive are admirable. And you joined the command program to…"
"Get my own ship and explore strange new worlds." She beamed a smile brighter than any star and finished the thought, "Then I can be with you."
Chris felt his heart thud in his chest as he looked to her, again, blushing wildly.
"No!" Raw nerves cackled out of her, "I mean… I like you…" Tilly blinked rapidly physically vaulted from the chair, "No! I mean… I can be like you…" She wrang her hands, "I want to be like you… Sir."
By God, Chris was unbelievably flattered… either by the thought this young woman wanted to emulate him or anything else… and a small part of him acknowledged a swirl of sensation at the possibility of anything else.
"I think, Tilly," he smiled, attempting to put her at ease, by picking up her cup and reaching it out to her, "You are exactly where you need to be."
And as the young woman grinned into her cup, Chris thought that she was also exactly where this crew needed her to be.