Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in posting. I have three different versions of this chapter written because the characters just REFUSED to tell me what direction to take this. This is where we landed.

I'm so sorry, friends.

[][][][][][][][][][]

Chapter 17-This is My Fault

"Your boyfriend is on his way," Pulpo said, putting the gun back to her head. "It's going to be such a fun reunion."

The door opened, and Hank rushed in, gun drawn, ready to rescue Jenna.

Pulpo pulled Jenna in front of him, using her to shield him from an attack from Hank.

"Drop your weapon, Pulpo," Hank yelled.

"You first, Sergeant."

"Let her go. This is between us. Jenna has nothing to do with this."

"You're right. This is between us." Pulpo raised the gun, shooting Hank multiple times in the head and chest. Jenna watched in horror as Hank fell to the floor, dying.

[][][][][][][][][][]

"No!" Jenna yelled, sitting up in bed, clutching her sore ribs.

Hank quickly sat up, reaching for Jenna, but she pushed his hands away. "Jenna, it's ok. You're ok. You're here, at home, with me."

Jenna nodded, throwing the covers off of her, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She told herself to breathe, trying to regain some control of herself, as well as get her heart beating normally again.

Hank scooted closer, longing to scoop her up in his arms and hold her, but knowing it could trigger her even more. "What was it this time?" he asked.

"The one where you burst in and he shoots you."

Hank moved to sit behind her, cautiously reaching out to rub her shoulders. He let out the breath he was holding as he felt her relax under his hands. "What can I do? What do you need?"

"I'm fine. I'm going to the couch so you can go back to sleep."

"You don't have to go. Stay with me, Jen."

Jenna shrugged Hank's hands from her shoulders as she stood up. "I can't stay in here. I need to get out of this room."

"I'll come with you."

"You don't have to. You're going back to work tomorrow, Hank. You need to sleep."

Hank sighed. "I don't want you to be alone in the middle of the night like this, especially after having a nightmare. Please, Jenna. Let me help you."

Jenna finally released the tears she'd been holding back since she woke up. "Please just leave me alone tonight. Please, Hank."

They didn't speak for a few moments; Jenna's soft cries the only sound in the room. Finally, Hank said, "Ok. I'll stay in here. But please come wake me up if you need me."

"I will," Jenna said tearfully as she left the room.

Hank tried, but he couldn't make himself go back to sleep, not when Jenna was struggling so much. A week had gone by since she was released from the hospital, and her nightmares started the following night. He assumed that since she stopped the higher-powered pain medicine that left her in a bit of a fog, she was finally able to process what happened to her. On her best night, she only woke up twice, but most nights, neither of them got very much sleep at all. He knew the nightmares would eventually stop, but sleep wouldn't come easy for her for awhile.

[][][][][][][][][][]

Hank laid awake the rest of the night. He'd spent the last week helping Jenna at home, and while she was getting better physically, he didn't see her improving emotionally. The nightmares continued, rotating between a few different scenarios. It was ripping his heart out, and most of his thoughts over the last week kept coming back to one thing: if Jenna hadn't met him, none of this would've happened.

Jenna was quite possibly the best person he'd ever known. She didn't deserve any of the pain she'd endured, the broken bones, the bruises, the nightmares. Hank knew that as long as she was with him, her life could be at risk. She deserved better than that, better than him.

Hank loved Jenna. There was no doubt in his mind that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. But as much as he wanted that, as much as he knew losing her would destroy him, in order to protect her the best way he could, he made the hardest decision of his life.

He would let her go.

When he got out of bed, preparing for his first day back at work, he found Jenna laying on the couch, awake. He closed his eyes, preparing for the hard conversation that he knew would break both of their hearts.

"Morning babe," Jenna said when she saw him.

"Morning," Hank said, kissing the top of her head before settling next to her on the couch.

Jenna could immediately sense that something as off. She could tell that he'd been in his head since her nightmare woke them up. She scooted close, leaning against him as she pulled his arm around her. They sat in silence for a few moments before Jenna finally spoke.

"Whatever is going on in your head, turn it off."

"Did you sleep?"

"No. But I will. I'm fine, Hank."

He sighed. "No you're not, Jen. You're not fine at all."

"Yeah, it's been hard, and I've got some issues to work through, but I'm starting therapy next week. I'm going to move past this. You just can't expect that after two weeks, it's going to just be over. My broken bones haven't even healed yet. I can't just stuff it all inside like you do."

"Wow. Ok, so that's what we're gonna do."

Jenna covered her face with her hand for a moment. "I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you."

"I don't want to fight with you either. I'm not trying to push you, but it's just really hard to see you like this. Every nightmare is just another reminder of what I caused."

"Excuse me?" Jenna asked. "What YOU caused?"

"Well I did! This is my fault! If you weren't with me, this would've never happened!"

Tears came to Jenna's eyes. "Honey, no."

Hank's pain broke Jenna's heart. He had been with her every moment since his team rescued her, and he was by her side every day in the hospital. He took care of her at home, making sure she had medicine on time, changing her bandages, talking her down from her nightmares, and providing her with a sense of security that only he could give her. She'd been so wrapped up with trying to heal that she hadn't stopped to think about what her kidnapping had done to him. She would never blame him for what happened, and if anything, she was grateful that his unit was responsible for rescuing her. Without them, she knew she wouldn't be alive.

Hank got up from the couch, turning away from her. "How…how can you even look at me?"

"This is not your fault, Hank."

"How is it not my fault? I'm the reason you were taken. I'm the reason you were held there. I'm the reason you were nearly beaten to death. If you hadn't met me, he would've never gone after you. He wouldn't even know you exist."

Jenna carefully stood up and walked over to him, putting her hands on his back. "Hank, you saved my life. You figured out where I was, and you saved me. You're the only reason I'm alive." She took a deep breath, preparing to drop the bomb she'd been holding back. "I never told you this because I didn't want those images in your head, but there's something you need to know."

Hank closed his eyes, bracing himself for her news.

"During the second phone call, when he gave you the extra hour, he told you that if you weren't ready in an hour, he'd put a bullet in my throat."

"I remember."

"After the call, he told me that…" Jenna stopped, trying to choke down her sobs. "He told me that I should be happy I got to hear your voice one more time before I died. He told me that when you were close, he was going to shoot me so you'd come in and have to watch me die. If you hadn't shown up early, I wouldn't be here." She pulled his arm, turning him around. She took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "You saved my life, Hank. You did that."

Hank kissed her forehead, fighting back his own tears as he pulled her close. "I was so scared Jenna," he said softly. "I can't even tell you how scared I was. I'm so thankful that we were able to find you before it was too late, but I…I can't put you at risk anymore. I think we…I think we need to end this."

Jenna looked up at him in shock. "End what? This? Us?"

Hank nodded. "Yeah."

Jenna's tears came harder. "Hank, I…no. No, we don't."

"I need to let you move on with your life without me."

Jenna shook her head. "I didn't ask you to. That's not what I want, not at all."

"As long as we're together, you're going to be in danger. I can't live with that, Jenna. I love you too much to selfishly keep you with me and risk you getting hurt again. I'm going to go, to let you go. You deserve better."

"No," Jenna said tearfully. "You don't get to just decide this for me, for us. You don't get to just give up when things get hard and you get scared."

Hank put his hand behind her head, pulling her forehead to his. "I'm doing this because I love you. Walking away from you…Jen, it's killing me. But I love you enough to do what's best for you."

Jenna slipped her arms around his waist, pulling him close as she buried her face in his neck. Hank let his arms go around her, holding her close against him as a few tears made their way down his face. After a few minutes, Jenna pulled back to look at him.

"But I need you," Jenna whispered through her tears. "I'm sorry that I have been so wrapped up me that I haven't seen how this affected you too."

"Stop, stop," Hank said, putting his finger to her lips. "There is no part of this that is your fault."

"And there's no part of this that is yours. Please, I need you to stop blaming yourself, and I need you here with me."

Jenna's tear-filled eyes looking up at him nearly sent him to his knees. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to gather the strength to do what he needed to do.

"You'll see this is for the best. I need you to know that this isn't what I want, and this isn't easy for me, not at all. But I have to protect you, and this is the only way I know how."

Jenna's tears came harder. "Ok," she whispered, closing her eyes for a moment, accepting his decision.

Jenna followed Hank to the door. She took his hand before he could touch the doorknob, causing Hank to look back at her. "I'm really going to miss you," she said.

Hank cradled her face in his hands. "I'm going to miss you too. Thank you for every moment. These have been some of the best times of my life, and I know that I'm going to love you until the day I die."

"I love you too, Hank."

He kissed her softly before tearing himself away from her, leaning against the door after he closed it, his heart breaking.

On the other side of the door, Jenna was sitting on the floor, her back to the door, and her knees pulled up to her chest. She leaned over on her knees as her tears came harder than ever. How was this happening? How could Hank feel responsible for her kidnapping? Blaming him never crossed her mind, and she didn't know how he could put the blame on himself. There was nothing he could've done to prevent any of this from happening. She finally got up from the floor, eased herself into her bed, and cried herself to sleep.

[][][][][][][][][][]

Hank's attitude was affecting the entire unit. It was a few hours into his first day back, and they all wished that he would go back home. They all could tell that something was seriously off, and they were all to afraid to even speak. They hadn't seen this side of him in a long time, so they knew whatever it was, it was huge. Finally, Erin decided to figure out what was wrong, so she walked into Hank's office.

"What's your deal?" she asked.

"Nothing," Hank said, not looking up from his desk.

"Nothing? Doesn't seem like nothing," Erin said, crossing her arms in front of her.

"I'm fine, Erin."

Erin rolled her eyes at his answer, so she decided to try to change the subject for a minute. "How's Jenna doing alone today?"

"You'd have to ask her," he said, still refusing to look up.

Erin leaned on Hank's desk. "What's going on?"

Hank finally looked up at her. "We're done, Erin. Jenna and I are over. We ended things this morning."

Erin looked at him in shock and was immediately overcome with anger. "Hank Voight, what did you do?!"

Hank dropped the pen in his hand out of frustration. "I don't want to talk about it. Just get out."

"No! I'm not leaving until you tell me what happened!"

Hank stood up from his desk and grabbed Erin by the arm. He pushed her out of his office as he said, "We're not discussing this! Just do your job or get out!" He slammed the door behind him hard enough to knock a picture off the wall.

Everyone turned and looked at Erin. She shot Jay a look before looking at the others. "You heard him. Just do your jobs."

[][][][][][][][][][]

Erin couldn't get Jenna off of her mind the rest of the afternoon. She knew something big must have happened for Hank and Jenna to end their relationship, and her heart was broken for both of them. When she finished work for the day, she headed to Jenna's apartment.

Erin carefully knocked on Jenna's door. When the door opened, Erin's heart broke a little more seeing Jenna's red puffy eyes, evidence that she'd been crying for awhile.

"He told you?" Jenna said.

"I'm so sorry Jenna," Erin said as she hugged her.

"Thank you Sweetie," Jenna said, wiping at a few new tears. "Come on in." They sat on the couch together.

"What happened? Hank wouldn't tell me anything, just that it's over."

Jenna shrugged. "According to him, all of this Pulpo stuff is his fault, and if we stay together, I'm always going to be in danger. This is his way of keeping me safe."

Erin sighed, covering her face with her hands for a moment. "He's such an idiot."

"He's scared, Erin. I should've realized something was happening. I've been so focused on my own healing that I guess I missed what all of this was doing to him. It's like he feels that he's failed me by not being able to protect me from this."

"Still. There's no reason to end things, especially with you still recovering. Do you need me to stay tonight to help you? I will."

Jenna squeezed Erin's hand. "Thank you Sweetie. I'll manage. I kinda just want to be alone tonight."

"Ok. I'll go."

Jenna followed Erin to the door. "Erin, I…I know he's your father, and I know your loyalty is to him. But you're always welcome here, in my home and in my life. I'll understand if you can't be here, but I would hate to lose you too."

"Thank you Jenna," Erin said as she tearfully hugged her. "I'm so sorry he hurt you."

"Take care of him. Please."

"Erin squeezed Jenna's hand. "I will."

When Erin got to her car, she laid her head against the steering wheel, letting her tears fall. She hurt for Jenna so much, and she was so angry with Hank. She knew the kidnapping was hard for him, but she never imagined he would take such drastic measures. She had to talk to him again, now that she knew the whole story. She decided she would give him tonight, but tomorrow, she was going to do whatever she could to fix her family.