Author's Note: Again, I'm blown away by your support of the previous chapter! I'm always so surprised that people are not only reading this, but taking the time to leave a review. I read every single one of them, and they definitely are a great encouragement! Y'all are awesome!

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Chapter 34-I Just Want Our Life Back

The next morning, Jenna left the house a few minutes before nine to meet Hank at the mystery location he'd texted her. As she drove, she tried to prepare herself, unsure if she was really ready to see her husband. After the last few days, she was so tired, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and she didn't know if she had space in her mind to deal with his needs on top of trying to hold herself together for Erin.

Erin. Jenna was continually overwhelmed at how much she loved that girl, and each day that passed with Erin too fragile to come out of the coma caused a physical ache in Jenna's chest. She shook her head, attempting to push those thoughts away for a few minutes while she tried to give what she could to her husband.

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Hank sat in his car waiting for Jenna. She said she would meet him, but a part of him thought it was possible that she might stand him up. He'd been awful to her the last few days, so there was no reason why she would do anything he asked. He knew he'd been a complete jerk, and he'd let his anger get the best of him. He just hoped that somehow, in the middle of the mess he'd made, he and his wife would find their way back to each other.

Seeing that it was almost nine, he decided to get out of his car and spend a few minutes alone to figure out what he would say to her.

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Jenna was surprised for a moment when her GPS led her to a cemetery. Tears came to her eyes as she drove up to where Hank standing in front of a grave. She could feel the grief emanating from him before she even stepped out of the car.

"I'm glad you came," Hank said softly as she walked up to him.

"You asked me to come, so here I am," Jenna said.

They stood next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, but not quite touching as they looked down at Justin's headstone.

"Today is Justin's birthday," Hank choked out.

Jenna covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh Hank."

"I just...still can't believe he's really gone. I was there, standing next to him when the life support was turned off, but some days it's still hard to believe he's not here." He closed his eyes, reluctantly allowing a few tears to make their way down his face.

Jenna couldn't hold back anymore, so she slipped her hand into Hank's as she laid her head on his shoulder. Her other hand wiped the tears rolling down her own face.

"I miss him so much. It's like a piece of me is just completely missing."

"I'm so sorry Hank," she whispered.

Hank squeezed her hand as he continued. "Did I ever tell you that Justin was a twin?"

"What?" Jenna asked, her head rising to look at him. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah. We had a little girl. She was stillborn."

"I can't even imagine. You've lost so much. I'm just so sorry."

Hank let go of Jenna's hand, leaning over and putting his hands on his knees as he fought to keep from crumbling to the ground. "Jen, I…I can't bury another child. I can't put Erin in the ground next to him. I can't do it."

Jenna wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close as he cried into her shoulder. She rubbed his back as she sobbed against him, holding him as tight as she could. Hank was tired of holding his feelings back, and for a few moments, he felt a little bit of relief as he wept onto his wife's shoulder. As his tears subsided, he pulled back and wiped his eyes, embarrassed that he allowed himself to show this kind of emotion in front of Jenna, especially when they had barely spoken the last few days. He felt he didn't deserve to get to lean on her right now.

Immediately sensing what he was going through his head, Jenna said, "Don't do that." She pulled his face back to hers, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "Don't hide your emotions from me. Let me in, Hank. Please."

Hank shook his head. "I just want all of this to be over. I want Erin to be ok. I want us to be ok. I just want our life back."

"I do too," Jenna said, wiping her tears. "I want all of those things. But ignoring me, avoiding the hospital, hiding at the office...none of that will fix any of the problems we're having right now. We have to deal with all of this, and I know this isn't what you want to hear, but the first step is going to the hospital."

Hank sighed. "I know." He did know. Jenna was right. He'd spent enough time denying Erin's condition and his own personal feelings, and he needed to face this if anything was going to get better. He owed it to Erin and to Jenna.

"So when we leave here, you're coming to the hospital with me?" Jenna asked.

He nodded. "Yeah. Just...give me a few minutes."

Jenna put her hand on Hank's shoulder as he knelt beside Justin's grave. He reached out and put his hand on the headstone.

"Happy Birthday Justin. I miss you so much."

Jenna's tears came harder, her heart breaking even more.

"I wish you were here, a part of everything. Daniel is growing so fast. I don't see him very often, but Olive sends me pictures. He looks just like you, son. He's a good kid, and you'd be so proud of him."

Hank looked up at Jenna, taking her hand in his. "Justin, this is Jenna. She's my wife as of a month ago, and she's...she's one of the most incredible women I've ever known. She's helped heal the broken parts of me, and I love her very much. I know you'd love her too." He looked down, unable to speak anymore.

"Can I?" Jenna asked softly. Hank nodded, squeezing her hand.

"Hi Justin. I love your father so much, and I promise I'll do everything I can to take care of him. I wish I'd been able to meet you. Your father has told me a lot about you, and I know we would've been good friends."

They stood in silence for a few minutes, until Hank decided it was time for them to leave.

"Justin, I…I need to go, but I'll come see you again soon. I love you."

Hank stood up, and Jenna took him in her arms. They stood together, holding each other as they cried together once again. As much as they were both hurting, as mad as Jenna was at him and as mad as he was at himself, they both received a little bit of comfort in each other's arms.

After a few minutes, Hank pulled back. He took Jenna's face in his hands, wiping her tears with his thumbs before gently kissing her forehead.

"Thank you for being here," he said softly.

"You're welcome," Jenna said.

"Jen, we've got a lot to talk about."

Jenna put her hand on his chest, silencing him. "We do, but this isn't the time or the place. I'm not ready, and I need to get to the hospital to let Jay go home. We'll talk about…us…later, ok?"

"Ok," Hank said softly.

"You're coming with me?" she asked again.

"Yeah, I'll be there."

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Hank arrived at the hospital just before Jenna. As he waited for her to park her car, he took a moment to gather himself and prepare for what he was going to see when he walked inside. Even though he knew he needed to be there, he still wasn't sure he was ready to see Erin. His morning had already been so hard, especially Erin's absence beside him at the cemetery. Since Camille passed away, Erin went with him to the cemetery on Camille's birthday, and after they lost Justin, she joined him on his birthday day as well.

Jenna met Hank at the entrance to the hospital. She slipped her hand into his, squeezing it softly, silently trying to reassure him that he was doing the right thing. They walked hand in hand to Erin's room.

Before walking in, Hank pulled back, stopping Jenna. She looked back at him, and she could see the fear in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Jenna asked.

"Before I go in, could you…tell me what I should expect?"

Jenna pulled him close, their foreheads touching. "I imagine it's about the same as when Justin was in here. She's on a ventilator, bandages on her head, lots of machines, tubes, things like that."

"She's unresponsive?"

Jenna nodded. "Still in a coma."

Hank nodded, processing, preparing himself.

"I'm going to step in and let Jay know you're here and give you a minute," Jenna said.

"Thank you," Hank said softly.

Jenna stepped into Erin's room, giving Jay a quick hug. "How did the night go?"

Jay shrugged. "The same. No change, but I guess that's probably a good thing." He stopped, taking in Jenna's appearance. He could tell that she'd been crying, and he was worried about her. "Jenna, are you ok?"

"I'm fine," Jenna said.

"Uh huh," Jay said, unconvinced.

"It's just been a hard morning. Listen, Hank is out in the hall. We talked, and he knows he needs to be here. I'm not saying you need to leave, but if you don't want to be here for this, I'll stay."

Jay nodded. "Yeah, it's probably best that I go. He needs time with her, and I'm not sure I'm ready to be around him."

Out in the hall, Hank was pacing back and forth. He couldn't make himself look at the door, knowing his little girl was just on the other side, sick, hurting, and maybe dying. He didn't know how he was going to face her, but at the same time, how could he make himself stay away? How could he have stayed away for so long? Erin needed him, and suddenly he was overcome with a new determination, to be by her side, to take care of her, to fight for her, however he could. Then, when he was sure that she would be ok, he would fight for his marriage. They would put their family back together; they would get their lives back.

Jenna stepped back out into the hall. "Jay is going to go home for a little while. Come in when you're ready."

Before he could go into Erin's room, Jay walked out. As Jay passed him, Hank said, "Halstead."

Jay stopped for a moment, taking a breath before turning around to face Hank. "I'm sorry for before, for not being here. I appreciate you taking care of her. Stay with her as long as you need to, and when you're ready, your job will be waiting for you."

Jay nodded. "Thanks," he said softly as he turned and walked away.

Jenna took Hank's hand, squeezing it. "Ready?" she asked.

"Ready."

Hank took a deep breath and slowly opened the door to Erin's room.