Author's Note: Just a quick note about some things in this chapter. Although I have family members that are police officers, I don't know how the inner workings of departments run. The way the events play out in this chapter comes from my head, not real life :)

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Chapter 47-I've Been Doing Some Thinking

Hank closed his eyes, sighing as he cradled Emerson against him, unable to tear his eyes away from her. It was his first day back at work since her birth, and it was ripping his heart out to leave her and Jenna. "Honey, you're going to be late," Jenna said, interrupting his thoughts as she walked into the living room.

"No," Hank said, shaking his head. "I can't do it."

"Can't do what?" Jenna asked.

"I can't leave her."

"Oh Hank," she said, sitting down next to him and slipping her arm around his shoulders. "Em and I are going to be fine today."

Hank shook his head again. "It's barely been four weeks, Jen. It's too soon. I'll call and let the unit know that I'm taking another week."

Jenna squeezed his shoulder. "No, you're not, babe. You've put this off for two weeks already. You have to work. We will survive, and you will too."

Hank sighed, reluctantly agreeing that Jenna was right. "Ok, fine. I'll go." He kissed Emerson several times on the head. "You take good naps and eat good for Momma, and Daddy will be home later, ok? I love you so much, Princess." His hand slipped behind Jenna's neck, and he pulled her close, kissing her deeply. "I'll miss you."

"We'll miss you too Hank. I love you."

"I love you." Reluctantly, he handed the baby over to Jenna. "Call me if you need me, and I'll check in throughout the day."

"Ok, but please try not to worry about us. Have a good day," she said, kissing him again as she pushed him through the front door.

"Bye honey."

Jenna couldn't help but smile as she watched Hank drive away, knowing she was planning to surprise him in the afternoon with a visit to the station. Looking down at a sleeping Emerson in her arms, she said, "Daddy is going to be so surprised and so happy to see you, sweet girl."

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"Well, look who it is," Trudy said as Jenna walked in to the station with the baby.

"Hi Trudy," Jenna said, stepping up to the desk and turning to the side so Trudy could see Emerson's face.

Trudy smiled down at the baby. "Gosh, she's gorgeous, Jenna."

"Thank you. Hank and I are pretty proud of her. Is he here?" she asked.

"As far as I know, he is."

"Great!" Jenna said. "We wanted to surprise him with a visit."

Trudy nodded. "I'm sure he'll love it. I'll buzz you up."

Hank turned around when he heard the door buzz. The whole team was in, so he didn't know who would be coming to see them. He was shocked to see Jenna walking up the stairs, Emerson nestled tightly against her chest in the baby wrap. "What is this?" he asked, rushing over to them.

"Baby girl wanted to see her daddy, and I did too," she said as she kissed him.

"This is great. Thank you," he said, not so patiently waiting for Jenna to take the baby out of the wrap, his hands desperately needing to hold her. He was thrilled to see Emerson awake for the moment, and the team gathered around him as he cradled her against his chest.

"She is so beautiful," Kim said.

"She's about the prettiest thing I've ever seen," he said, unable to take his eyes off of the baby. "Hi Princess. Daddy has missed you and Mommy so much today." He looked up at Jenna. "How have things been today?" he asked.

Jenna gently stroked Emerson's head. "She's been great. She's eating good, staying awake for a little while, and then napping. We've had a pretty easy day."

Hank slipped his arm around Jenna's waist, pulling her close. "You feeling ok?"

Jenna nodded. "Yeah, I'm good."

"Good," he said as he kissed her.

"Sarge, I know Emerson came to see you, but I NEED to hold her," Hailey said.

Hank chuckled. "I suppose I can share," he said, passing her to Hailey.

The girls all gathered around Hailey, staring at the now-sleeping baby. "OH, she is just the cutest thing I've ever seen," Kim said.

"I love her so much," Erin said.

"I want one," said Hailey.

"Boss, you gotta do something," Adam said, shaking his head as he watched the exchange in front of him. "Your baby's cute and all, but she's turning our girls into...girls."

"Really Adam?" Kim said.

Adam held up his hands. "I'm just saying."

"Ruzek, get back to work," Hank said. "The girls can stare at my baby girl as long as they want to."

"Thank you Sarge," Hailey said.

Erin looked down at Emerson, who was now snuggled into her arms. "How do you not just sit and stare at her all day?" she asked. "I think I could spend the rest of my life holding her just like this."

"That's pretty much what we do," Jenna said, slipping her arm around his waist. "Hank has been so helpful at home that basically all I've done since she was born is sit and hold her. It's really all I want to do."

"Me too," Hank said, pulling Jenna close against his side, wishing he could leave his responsibilities there and take his girls home.

During the last few weeks before Emerson was born, Hank had felt an intense need to be close to Jenna, and the feelings intensified when Emerson was placed in his arms. While his job had always been his main focus, he found that it was quickly moving down his priority list. He continued to give attention to his work when he was there, but more often than ever, his thoughts were drifting elsewhere. As he watched his newborn daughter cradled in the arms of the members of his unit, he felt a sense of peace come over him as he realized what he needed to do. He had to talk with Jenna first, but if she agreed, it was time to move forward in a brand new way.

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Later that evening, when Emerson was fast asleep, Jenna came downstairs and to find Hank sitting on the couch. She sat down next to him, curling up against his side as he held her close.

"I missed you today," she said softly into his chest.

Hank kissed the top of her head. "I missed you too. Thank you for coming up to the district. It made it easier to get through the day, and everyone was happy to see both of you."

Jenna looked up at him. "I planned the trip before you ever left the house this morning. I knew it would be a hard day for both of us, so I hoped that a visit would make the day a little easier. I know it can't be an everyday thing, but we needed it."

"But what if it could be an everyday thing?" Hank asked.

"Me and Em at the district?" Jen asked. "What are you talking about?"

"No, I'm talking about the three of us being together all day every day. What if that's what our life was?"

Jenna sat up to look at him. "Hank, what are you saying?"

"Jen, I've been doing some thinking, for awhile now, and I think it's time for me to really start discussing retirement."

Jenna's mouth flew open in surprise. "Retirement? Are you serious?"

"Very."

"But...Hank, being a police officer...that's your life."

Hank nodded. "That was my life, for a really long time. But now, you, Emerson, this family, this...this is my life. This is where I want to spend my time. I put over thirty years in. I think that it's time for me to move on, with you and our family. I...I want to be here for things."

He pulled away, resting his elbows on his knees as he put his head in his hands for a few moments. "Jen, I missed out on so much with Justin and Camille. I wasn't there for them, and Camille had to do way more than she should've on her own, and I really have a lot of regrets about what I missed out on. I don't want to do that to you. I want things to be different this time. I'm older, and I'm not going to have as long with her, or with you. So, I think I'm going to put things in motion for retirement tomorrow. It may be a few months because I want to try to be involved in making the decision for who takes over for me, but I'm ready."

Jenna scooted closer to Hank, gently rubbing his back. "Babe, are you sure? I don't want you making this decision too quickly just because it was hard to leave us today."

Hank shook his head. "I'm not. I never said anything, but I've actually been thinking about this since before she was ever born. I really think I'm ready. I want to be here, for both of you."

"We'd love to have you here," she said as she leaned in and kissed him.

"Good. I'll start things tomorrow."

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Hank arrived at the district after several meetings at the Ivory Tower to set his retirement plans in motion. In his own special way, he managed to get them to agree to allow him to be a part of the process to select his replacement, and he also insisted that the replacement be a person currently in his unit. No one understood how Intelligence worked better than his team, so if they wanted the unit to maintain its high case closure rate, someone already familiar with the unit would be the next logical person to run it. While his official retirement wouldn't take place for four more months, he was instructed to notify his team of the plans for how they would move forward.

Hank knew the conversation with the unit would be a difficult one, especially with Erin. A part of him felt a little guilty for leaving them like this, but deep down, he knew that it was time to hand the reins over to someone else and turn his focus elsewhere.

After taking a few minutes alone in his office to gather his thoughts, he called the whole team together and called for Trudy to come up to be a part of this meeting. "I wanted all of you here together so I could tell everyone at once. Before you ask questions, and I know you're going to have them, please hear me out."

He took a deep breath, preparing to drop the bomb that would change the future of the unit. "I filed paperwork today and officially put things in motion for my retirement."

For a few moments, everyone looked at him in quiet shock. Erin was the first to break the silence.

"Retirement?! Hank, no," Erin said.

"Let me finish. My official retirement will happen in four months. I'm going to be a part of selecting my replacement. I was able to get them to agree to select someone from this unit, and a team of us will interview all of the detectives that are interested, and we will make a selection very soon. Whoever is selected will have to pass the sergeant's exam, but I can't see anyone here having a problem with that." He looked around at the shocked looks on his team's faces. Erin and Kim wiped away tears.

"Hank, you're not...they aren't forcing you out, are they?" Trudy asked.

"No, this was completely my decision. It's something I've been thinking about for awhile. Once Emerson was born...it solidified that this is what I want. I wasn't there for Camille and for Justin. I don't want Jenna to have to do everything on her own. I need to be around for her and for Emerson. I know...I won't have as much time as I would like to have with Emerson. I'm old to be starting over, and I don't want to miss out on the part of her life I'll be here for. I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with her and Jenna. I've put thirty years into trying to protect this city. It's time for me to step back from that and be with my family now."

They all sat in silence, processing. After a few moments, Hailey was the first to speak out. "Sarge, I think I can speak for everyone when I say that losing you is going to be a huge blow to this unit. You are...basically The Godfather of Intelligence." Everyone laughed a little, briefly lightening the mood. "But I think we all respect your reasons for this decision. You have a wife and a baby girl that need you, and I can't imagine how that must have shifted things for you. We are going to miss you very much, but we're very happy for you."

"Thank you Hailey," Hank said as she hugged him. Everyone but Erin came over to hug and congratulate him. "Thank you all. I know change can be hard, but I'm confident in the abilities of every single one of you. I wouldn't have you in my unit if I didn't believe in you. I'm going to do everything I can to make this as smooth of a transition as I possibly can. I want to make sure everyone knows that I love all of you, and it's been an honor to have worked with you. We're a family, and even though I won't be here with you every day, we'll always be family."

"We love you Sarge," Kim said.

"Ok. Let's get back to work. Erin, my office?" She nodded, wiping at her tears as she followed him in, and he shut the door behind her. "Talk to me."

"I don't know what to say," she said, shrugging as her tears fell harder. "You're leaving us. You're leaving...me."

Hank took Erin in his arms. "I'm not leaving you. Erin, you're my family too. I may not be here working with you every day, but I'm still here for you. Emerson needs you around. Jenna and I need you around. My retirement doesn't change any of that."

Erin tried to wipe the tears that wouldn't stop falling. "I just can't believe this is happening now. I've only been back in the field a little while, and I don't know how to do this without you."

"I promise you that I'm going to work very hard to find the right person to lead this unit. Your job is going to be safe. Against all odds, you were cleared to go back in the field, and you're going to be fine."

"I'm really going to miss you Hank."

"I'll miss you too." He gave her another hug. "I love you, kiddo."

"I love you."

When they pulled away, Hank said, "There is another serious conversation that we need to have, but I don't want to do that here. Sometime in the next week or so, we need to talk."

Erin nodded. "Ok. We can do that."

"It's going to be fine, Erin. You'll see."

Erin forced a tiny smile. "I hope you're right."

Hank and the unit went about the rest of their day as normal. After breaking his news, he felt a massive weight lift from his shoulders. The next few months of transition would be stressful for the entire unit, but he was at peace with his decision. Moving forward, he knew everything would fall into place, and his unit would be fine.

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Later that night, when he and Jenna were lying in bed together, Hank said, "I did it. I started retirement paperwork today."

"Really?" Jenna asked. "What did you figure out?"

"It'll be about four months, which isn't ideal, but I'm making them choose someone from my unit to replace me, and we want there to be a smooth transition."

"How did the team take it?"

Hank shrugged. "They were surprised, but mostly supportive. Erin is struggling, which I expected. But she'll be fine."

"How do you feel, now that it's official?" Jenna asked.

Hank thought for a moment. "I thought making it official would be hard, but surprisingly, it feels like a weight lifted. I'm ready for this, Jen. It's time for me to let go of the job and be here with you two."

Jenna leaned in and kissed him deeply. "We can't wait."