Feelings

Finn woke up through the middle of the night with yelling coming from next door. At first, he thought he was dreaming, but it continued. He then thought maybe Christina had spent the night again and was mentally remembering to throttle Daryl in the morning, but the more he listened, the more he realised it was Daryl who was yelling. A distressed sort of yell, like he needed help.

He got out of bed, leaving his room and knocking on Daryl's door, "Hey, buddy. You alright?" He asked, "I'm coming in." He announced, walking into the room where he could see Daryl was clearly in the midst of a nightmare.

He was yelling out strange words, gripping the bed sheets and thrashing around. He had no idea what to do. It was frightening seeing him so distressed. He was pretty sure you weren't supposed to wake up someone from a nightmare, but he couldn't let his friend suffer.

He walked over to the bed, tapping Daryl on the arm.

"Hey, you're ok." Finn said loudly, "You're ok, Daryl. You're home. You're back home with us." He continued to tap Daryl on the arm.

Daryl eventually opened his eyes, scrambling to move away from Finn.

"Go away." Daryl shook his head hysterically.

"Hey hey… it's me. It's Finn." Finn nodded, putting his hands up, "You're just having a nightmare. You're safe." He said as Daryl looked at Finn, taking the image of him in as he started to come back down to reality.

"Shit." Daryl said under his breath, "Shit, I'm sorry." He shook his head.

"It's fine. Are you alright?" Finn asked.

"Yeah." Daryl said, running his hand through his sweaty hair, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bad dream." He said.

"Is this a… post-prison thing?" Finn asked.

"N-No… no, I haven't had one before. I just… I thought I was back there." Daryl shook his head, looking around the room, trying to tell himself he was safe.

"You know if you ever want to talk about it-"

"I don't." Daryl said, "Sorry I woke you." He said, reaching over for his phone and checking the time.

"At first I thought Christina was here again." Finn rolled his eyes as Daryl chuckled.

"Nah, I went to her place after work." Daryl nodded, "I'm glad she didn't see me like that." He rolled his eyes with embarrassment.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. I think you're bound to have a couple of nightmares about being in prison. I'd say it's all part of the transition into normal life again." Finn nodded.

"I'm fine." Daryl shook his head, "You should go back to sleep. We still got a couple hours until we need to get up." He said, collapsing back down onto his pillow and pulling the covers over him.

"Yeah. As long as you're ok?" Finn said, heading out of the room.

"All good." Daryl muffled against his pillow, giving Finn a thumbs up.

Finn nodded, leaving the room, and closing the door behind him, not feeling totally reassured that Daryl was 'all good.'

"You can't wear that." AJ shook her head as Rudy came downstairs wearing one of Punk's t-shirts which was hanging all the way down to the floor on her.

"Why can't I? It's like a dress." Rudy said, twirling around as the t-shirt flew around her.

"I lay out your clothes. Please go put them on. You're not wearing daddy's t-shirt." AJ made clear as Rudy folded her arms unhappily, "And don't go in a mood, either." She added.

"Why can't I wear whatever I want?" Rudy asked with frustration.

"You can. Just not daddy's clothes. People will stare and the school will report me for negligence." AJ said as Rudy looked at her with confusion, not understanding what she had just said, "Just go put on your own clothes, babe."

"But I like daddy's clothes." Rudy sighed.

"They're too big for you. Go change. I won't ask again." AJ said, this time more sternly as Rudy sensed the tone.

"You look stupid." Thomas added, sitting at the kitchen table watching Rudy.

"So do you." Rudy replied before heading back up the spiral stairs to change into her own clothes. It wasn't the first time she'd come downstairs wearing something ridiculous. The last time it had been one of AJ's sweaters.

"Why is she like that?" Thomas asked AJ with genuine concern whilst eating his pancakes.

AJ just chuckled and shook her head, truthfully not having an answer for him, "Eat your breakfast up." She smiled, placing her hand on his head sweetly as she packed their lunches for them.

Rudy eventually changed into her own clothes, and since they were running late, she had to eat her pancake on the way to pre-k.

"Why are we walking so fast?" Rudy asked unhappily, "My legs are little."

"So are mine." AJ told her, "You're going to be late."

"Because of you." Thomas turned to his sister.

"Not because of me." Rudy spat back at him, shoving him a little as he shoved her back.

"Ok ok, enough." AJ stood between them, taking a hold of each of their hands, "No fighting or you're going in my book of bad names." She warned them as they looked up at her worriedly.

"Who is in the book of bad names?" Rudy asked curiously.

"Lots of people who misbehave and annoy me." AJ told her.

"Like Santa's naughty list?" Thomas asked her.

"Yeah, exactly." She nodded. She always told the twins when they were acting up that she was putting them in her book of bad names where she wrote all her enemies down. She had no such thing, but they believed it and it worked like a charm.

"We're here. Now we can stop walking fast." Rudy said thankfully, heading on into their pre-k building, making their way to the class as AJ helped them take their jackets and hats off.

"Who is picking you up today?" AJ tested them.

"Uh… I forgot." Thomas admitted.

"It's Abuela." Rudy looked at Thomas smugly, "You don't listen."

"I do." Thomas said.

"Yes. Abuela." AJ nodded, "And I'll come pick you up later after I finish work, ok?"

"Ok." They both nodded in sync as AJ smiled, forever fascinated by their ability to be in sync at times.

"Ok, have a good day, and behave." She said, pressing a kiss on both their heads before they ran off into their class.

She took a deep breath, thankful the morning drop-off was finished, heading outside for some fresh air where she saw Shiv rushing towards her with Brianna.

"I promise one day we might be on time." Shiv said to AJ who chuckled.

"It's eight fifty-eight. You're good." AJ assured her, "I'll wait on you." She told her as Shiv nodded, taking Brianna into the building to drop her off at her class.

AJ waited a few minutes until Shiv appeared outside, "I switched my alarm off this morning." Shiv said.

"Easily done." AJ nodded as they began walking out onto the main street.

"I saw Daryl with Christina last night. When I was leaving work." Shiv said. She had to get it off her chest to someone. She'd barely slept all night, tossing, and turning thinking of Daryl with another girl. Thinking of moving on and forgetting she ever existed, just like her parents had. It was suffocating.

"Yeah, she came into the shop yesterday to see him." AJ said, "I don't know what's going on there." She said truthfully.

"Really? I think it looks pretty obvious." Shiv shook her head, "She always had a thing for him. And I know he's free to do whatever he wants but… I had Brianna with me. What if she saw them and started asking questions?"

"I think he's just trying to adapt to life again. I doubt he actually feels anything for Christina." AJ said.

"Or he's just trying to hurt me." Shiv shrugged.

"C'mon, I don't think that's it." AJ said, "You really think he'd purposely try to hurt you?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I don't know him anymore." Shiv shook her head, "And I hate that seeing him with her bothered me. I wish I didn't care. Clearly, he doesn't."

"But you do care?" AJ asked. It was the most Shiv had ever opened up to her about Daryl. She hated to see her friend so distressed, but she was just so glad to have her finally talking about things.

"Yeah. I do. I suppose." Shiv nodded, "I wish I could just switch off my feelings. Even after all this time. There's still something there." She shook her head, "But after seeing him with Christina, I think I feel more anger than anything else."

"You guys still haven't had a decent conversation, have you?" AJ asked.

"Not really." Shiv said, "There's just too much that has happened. Him being gone for four years. Brianna. It cancels out all the good stuff we had." She shrugged, "And I don't think he's even interested in having a conversation with me." She shook her head.

"I think the best thing you can do right now is focus on yourself and Brianna." AJ nodded, "Let Daryl figure his shit out."

"Sometimes it's hard to remember that we actually had a normal relationship. So much has happened. Neither of us are the same." Shiv shook her head.

"Lucky you got a date with your friends on Saturday. You can talk all about it." AJ nodded, "Or not." She quickly added, "Completely up to you." She reminded her.

"Like Lyla and Becca will give me a choice." Shiv scoffed.

"I'll make sure they do." AJ said, wrapping her arm around Shiv's shoulder as they walked down the street side by side.