Author's Notes: I have no excuses here. It started as a conversation on crack-ships, I mentioned I thought that Ranma/Darkness could actually be a pretty cute couple, and the next thing I knew, this was being written up. It's gonna be a crazy ride, so I hope you'll enjoy it!
Chapter 1: A Horrible Tragedy; A Blessing in Disguise?!
It was just another summer weekend in Furinkan, Nerima. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the cicadas were chirping, and Ranma Saotome was fighting savagely with Ryoga Hibiki.
"Today's the day I shall break you, Ranma Saotome!" Ryoga cried, flowing through a savagely powerful punch-punch-spinkick combo.
"Ya been saying that for weeks, Ryoga, time ta get a new line!" Ranma cheekily shot back, weaving fluidly around the assault and retaliating with a quick punch to Ryoga's cheek.
On the sideline, Akane watched the fight, fists clenching until her knuckles whitened as she fumed indignantly. 'That stupid jerk! I thought we were going to the theater?! Why do you always do this, Ranma?! Just when I think you might actually care about this engagement, you'd rather run off to flirt with those girls, or pick a fight with Ryoga or Mousse! Well, I'm sick of it!'
Ignoring the bantering between brawling boys, she grabbed a handy length of wood - in the form of a fence strainer post about half again as long as she was tall and nearly as thick around as her torso, and launched it through the air at Ranma.
"Will you two cut this out?!" She screamed, ignoring the startled yelp from both Ranma and Ryoga as the fence post flew past them in favor of grabbing another.
"I am sick of this endless squabbling between you two! Why can't you get along?!" She cried, launching this second post at Ranma as well.
"Why are you even fighting, anyway?! Why won't you just tell me what it's all about!?" Akane demanded, stamping her foot and inadvertently burying it up the ankle, which didn't do anything to improve her mood.
'Seriously?! She wants to do this now?!' Ranma sourly asked himself.
"Hey, why don'tcha ask Ryoga?!" He irritably shouted over his shoulder at his fiancee.
"I'll tell her after I've beaten you, Ranma!" Came the passionate roar from Ryoga as he charged at his rival, hands curled into claws as he made to grapple Ranma.
Instinctively, Ranma snapped his own hands up and caught Ryoga, interlocking their fingers as the Eternally Lost Boy's momentum surged through Ranma's body. Ranma's feet skidded in the dust for an instant as the force of the intercepted charge bodily pushed him backwards, before the heir to the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts was able to apply his own formidable strength to holding Ryoga at bay.
"Big talk from a guy who's never won a single fight!" Ranma mockingly jeered, the two pushing and shoving, twisting around in a circle as they grappled for dominance.
"I'll show you big talk!" Ryoga spat vehemently.
From behind Ranma rose Akane's voice, angrier than ever...
"Oh, no you don't! Not this time! I've had it with you evading my questions all the time, Ranma! You're gonna answer me, or else!"
There was a whoosh of displaced air, a thunderous crack, and a blinding surge of pain in the back of Ranma's neck that cut out almost instantly as the world went black...
?
Ranma jolted, sucking in a startled breath.
'What the?! What happened?! Where am I?!'
And well he might be startled. Instead of one of the innumerable vacant lots of Nerima that he was used to, he found himself sitting on a plain wooden chair on a stretch of floor in a black-and-white checkered pattern, seemingly floating in a dark void lit by tiny blue lights, almost reminiscent of stars. A thin mist swept in rippling waves through the pseudo-chamber, almost obscuring the floor but never quite managing it. Across from him was the only other feature in the room; a second chair, this one white and slightly larger and more comfy looking, with a small two-drawer desk sat beside it. Atop the desk was a thick, old-fashioned-looking book.
'...Okay, this definitely ain't Furinkan...'
He didn't have any longer to ponder things, as the sound of footsteps on marble suddenly began to echo around him. With the finely honed instincts of a martial artist, he leapt from his seat and twisted to face the sound, assuming a defensive stance in preparation of an attack by whoever had kidnapped him.
From out of the mists emerged a strange figure. A beautiful young girl, which admittedly most people wouldn't have thought of as strange, but Ranma wasn't most people.
'Blue hair? Wrong shade to be Shampoo's, but maybe she's a Chinese Amazon too? Also... that's the stupidest-lookin' schoolgirl's outfit I ever seen. Did she get it from one of those pervy places that appeal to sad middle-aged weirdoes? Who wears sleeves that don't attach at the shoulders? An... is that a hagoromo?! That's so old-fashioned, even Kodachi wouldn't wear something like that!'
The newcomer made no hostile gesture, instead giving Ranma a smile that even someone as cynical as him had to consider sweet. She continued strutting forward, walking calmly towards the other seat opposite Ranma's, forcing him to turn to keep facing her. As she walked and ultimately sat down, she spoke to him in a gentle tone of voice.
"Ranma Saotome... welcome to the afterlife. A few moments ago, you passed on. My condolences. Your life was quite short... and now, you are quite dead."
Ranma reeled as if struck, eyes going wide in shock.
"D-d-dead?! What?! How?!" He protested, legs betraying him as he fell heavily back into the seat where he had started.
The strange girl simply nodded before she replied, "You were locked in mortal combat with that boy, Ryoga Hibiki, when the girl, Akane Tendo, threw a fence post at you. Distracted as you were, it struck you in the back of the head, snapping your neck and killing you instantly. If it's any consolation, it was a quick and painless death."
A dumbstruck Ranma instinctively shook his head. "You mean... Ryoga killed me? No, that can't be right! Ryoga didn't want me dead for real! He was always just joking around, he's my best friend!"
For the first time, the girl's gently neutral expression slipped, incredulity flashing onto her features. "You call that a friend?! What do you call an enemy?!"
She seemed to realize she'd said something wrong, coughing demurely into one fist before starting over, back to speaking in her refined manner once more.
"Anyway... I am Lady Aqua, a goddess in charge of guiding the souls of young Japanese people to their destinations upon their deaths-"
"Wait, then can't you just send me back?! I'm not supposed to be dead yet! Not in a stupid tantrum gone wrong like this!" Ranma interjected, unable to keep from protesting.
Now the self-proclaimed goddess grumpily gave him an indignant look. "As I was saying! You have two options now you're dead! I can either reincarnate you to give life another try, or I can send you off to the heavenly realm... but, just between you and me? I really, really wouldn't pick that option if I were you..."
Ranma blinked in confusion, tilting his head at he stared at Aqua.
'A death goddess is telling me I don't want to go to the afterlife? How does that work?'
His silence caused Aqua to smirk coyly, leaning forward and lifting a hand to her mouth in a conspiratorial manner before she began speaking in a stage whisper.
"See, despite what so many humans say, heaven's actually pretty boring! You just sit around in the sunlight all day gossiping like a bunch of old geezers. There's no media entertainment of any kind, not even manga or videogames, and because you don't have a body, you can't really do anything physical. That means no sports, no dancing, no sex, and no martial arts..."
Ranma shivered in horror at the image she painted. "Sounds more like some kind of hell!"
Aqua burst out laughing, and Ranma blushed as he realized he'd said that aloud. "I thought you might think that way - your file talks a lot about what a great martial artist you were! So, I have a super-special deal, just for you - how'd you like a chance to be a real, true, no-fooling hero, just like the ones in all the stories your daddy told you when you were little?"
By this point she had bounced out of her seat and skipped over to Ranma, grinning excitedly in what was probably meant to be a gesture to hype Ranma up, but instead made him flinch backwards.
"See, I don't just hang around Japan here! I'm in contact with other worlds, too, which means I know of a world where you would fit right in!"
She flung her arms out, pirouetting in a dramatic pose that kind of reminded Ranma of a magical girl anime he'd caught Akane watching one time before she began her dramatic monologue.
"Far removed from the peace and quiet of Japan lies a world under threat most dire! For upon this world of warriors and wizards hath arisen a mighty Devil King! He has united the many monsters and demons of the land and forged them into an army that even as we speak tramples the innocent beneath its many ironshod feet! The people of that land cry out for aid as the Devil King's forces rape and pillage and slaughter and...! More slaughter!"
Ranma stared at her, but the awkward silence only had a moment to linger before she rallied again, bouncing over to him and throwing her arms over his shoulders.
"Too close, lady!" Ranma yelped in panic, eyes growing wide and heart hammering in his chest.
Aqua ignored him, looking right into his eyes as she excitedly proclaimed, "Doesn't it make your heart just ache with pity for these poor wretches? After all, you were raised to protect the weak and innocent - even if your father didn't often live up to those standards - you must be itching to get over there and help fight the Devil King!"
"Well, yeah! But what good's it gonna do them if you just turn me into a baby over there? Ain't the whole point of reincarnation that you forget your old life?" Ranma pointed out, desperately focusing on anything other than the fact that a sexily-dressed cute girl was so close to him.
Aqua blinked, looking as puzzled as anyone Ranma had ever met. Then her face lit up with a brilliant smile as she stepped sharply back, snapping up a hand in front of her face in that faux-demure gesture of feigning like she was hiding her smile. "Oh, don't worry about that! See, when we find special people like you to send to this world, we've got a little loophole - you won't be reincarnating, you'll be resurrecting! So you'll still be the same you that you were before, alive and well - and we'll also give you a super-cool gift to help you do even better against the Devil King and his minions! Doesn't that sound awesome?!"
"Well, yeah, of course it does! If you can't just bring me back to life...?"
"Nope! Sorry, that's the rules," Aqua cheerfully and immediately chirped.
"Well, heaven sounds awful, so hard pass. But having to reincarnate...? That could be even worse! I could end up being related to somebody I already know - or worse, I could end up being a girl for real! It was bad enough being one part time, cuz'a that stupid Jusenkyo curse!" Ranma spat in disgust.
Aqua's eyes went wide in shock. "Wait, you've been to Jusenkyo?! Was that in the file?!"
Now it was Ranma's turn to look surprised as Aqua turned and sprinted over to the chair, snatching up the book that had been sitting on the little desk next to it and frantically thumbing through. She looked at what she was reading with a quizzical expression. Suddenly, she brightened, snapping the book closed with an audible 'thoomp' of covers slamming together.
"Great! Then it's settled; you'll be going off to Belzerg! But I just remembered something important that's come up, so my lovely assistant Eris will handle all the boring bits with you. Ciao!"
"Wha-hey, wait, you can't just leave me here!" Ranma protested, but even as he was speaking, Aqua sprinted off, racing into the nebulous, mist-veiled end of the platform and vanishing into thin air.
Ranma stared into the void, the stars (or whatever they were) somehow managing to twinkle mockingly as the realization of what had just happened fully sank in.
"...She left me. What kinda goddess is she supposed to even be, anyway?! Kodachi would have done a better job than that! ...Okay, she'd probably be trying to persuade me to become her celestial concubine instead of a hero in another world, but at least she'd focus!"
Before he could really get into his funk, the sound of footsteps suddenly began echoing out of the mists. "Celestial concubine… Hilarious. I must use that on her next time we meet," A different voice offered, "Stupid, lazy, good for…"
"Nothing?" Ranma offered, unable to stop himself.
"Exactly!" The voice finished, a mirthful giggle echoing out of the gloom as the speaker finally came into view.
Like Aqua before her, the newcomer was one of the most beautiful girls that Ranma had ever seen... and Ranma had seen quite a few beautiful girls. Including himself, with the aid of a glass of cold water and a mirror. She was dressed far more modestly than Aqua, with an outfit that vaguely reminded Ranma of the time he'd met the boxing nuns of Saint Sebastian's Chapel and Dojo, back when he was in grade school. Purple eyes in a delicate face looked calmly into Ranma's soul, twin braids of violet-tinted silver flowing almost to her ankles as the stranger delicately sat herself down in the chair that Aqua had abandoned only moments before.
"Greetings, Ranma Saotome. I am the Goddess Eris. My condolences on your death; it's always so tragic when a young man like yourself perishes at such a young age..." She sighed, genuinely looking forlorn at the thought.
"Ah, it's not so bad... I mean, I kind of expected somethin' like this would happen ta me eventually," Ranma quietly murmured, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly as he did.
"That doesn't make it right! Now, Lady Aqua said you were going to reincarnate in the world of Belzerg, but... are you sure you want to go there?" Eris asked, looking at Ranma with concern.
"Well, yeah! I picked it, didn't I?" The confused Ranma replied, tilting his head in puzzlement at Eris' actions.
"You did, but... Belzerg is a really dangerous world! It's full of monsters, and violence - it's so hard there, most of the people who are born there chose to be reincarnated in other worlds upon their deaths; that's one of the reasons why we've been reaching out to brave souls from Japan..." Eris hung her head as she spoke, unable to meet Ranma's gaze.
The martial artist just shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "So what? Sounds like fun to me! Beats just butting heads with random losers from weird-ass styles and wanna-be rivals who never actually get any better!"
"You... you really want to go to Belzerg?" An amazed Eris asked, staring at Ranma in wonder.
"Like I told your boss, if it's the closest thing I get to doing over my crappy life, then I'll take it," Came the firm, decisive declaration from Ranma, who crossed his arms over his chest in emphasis of his feelings.
Eris blinked soft eyes, smiling as she made a gentle shake of her head. "Well, if that's the way you feel, then it will be my honor to help you on your way. Now, the first thing we need to do is to give you your boon..."
"Boon? What's a boon?" Ranma asked bemusedly.
"To help brave reincarnated heroes like yourself, goddesses such as myself are authorized to bestow a single divine boon upon them. It could be a spectacular natural affinity for strength or intelligence, a magical weapon of extraordinary potency, a unique spell or special skill, or a one-of-a-kind magical item! Anything you can imagine, we might be able to give you - but you're only allowed to take one boon, so you should choose it carefully... Here, this is a catalog that Lady Aqua created of some of the most common boons we have to offer..."
Eris reached into a concealed pocket and withdrew what Ranma could only describe as an old-timey retro-spin on a catalog; a bundle of loose papers, each emblazoned with a picture and a short bit of informative text. She passed them to the technically-deceased martial artist, and he began flipping through them inquisitively.
'Wow, look at all this stuff! Super strength, super smarts, creating anything, a bunch of different magical weapons... on the other hand though, I don't really need any of this stuff in particular. An enchanted weapon could be useful, but only if I've got it to hand, and I don't often need a weapon anyway. As for these stat boosts...'
"Hey, if I'm reincarnating, that means I keep all the strength, speed, skills, an' stuff I already had when I was alive before, don't it?" Ranma asked, looking up at Eris.
Eris looked surprised, absently scratching at her right cheek, just in its center. "Oh, ah, we don't get asked that a lot... yes, you should be exactly as you were when you were in life."
"Huh. Well, that settles that, then," Ranma muttered to himself.
"I beg your pardon?" Eris politely inquired, only to blink in surprise as Ranma handed her back the catalog of boons.
"I appreciate the offer an' all, but... none of these boons are really for me. No offense, but I'm already plenty fast, strong an' tough, and I don't really use weapons all that much. But... maybe you can give me one thing that I want..."
"What's that?" Eris asked, making the catalog vanish back into its pocket before leaning forward to focus her full attention on Ranma.
"Do you know what the worst day of my life was?" Ranma asked, unable to keep that dramatic steak he would forever deny having from flaring up as it always seemed to at the least opportune times.
"Um... The day your father made that suicide pact with your mother so he could take you away on a lifelong training journey?" Eris apologetically suggested.
"Close, but no," Ranma replied.
"Ah... the day you were engaged to Akane?" The goddess then meekly suggested, scratching her right cheek again as she did.
Ranma gave her a startled look in response. "Wha? No! I mean...I mean that the worst day of my life was the day my idiot old man took me to Jusenkyo! Think about it; every terrible, humiliating thing in my life can ultimately be traced back to that stupid valley and my stupider old man and that stupid, stupid curse that makes me turn into a girl when I get wet! ...Oh, goddess, please, can you cure my Jusenkyo curse?!"
"Um... no?" Eris feebly replied.
If this were an anime, there would be an audio-visual gag about Ranma's heart shattering like a broken mirror. The whole world seemed to fall out from under Ranma, who nearly fell out of his chair in dismay. For the first time since he'd arrived in this strange afterlife reception room, his eyes grew wet with tears...
"You... you can't? You mean, I'm stuck with this dumb curse... forever?!"
"No, no, I didn't mean that!" Eris yelped, gesturing in an obvious panic. "The curse broke when you died, you're already cured! So there's nothing for me to cure!"
And just like that, Ranma visibly perked up, a rapturous smile blossoming on his face as the words sank in. "You...You mean it? I'm cured?"
"One hundred percent!" A smiling goddess assured him.
"Well, in that case... I guess I don't need a boon," Ranma replied, happily shrugging it off.
Eris, however, frowned thoughtfully and shook her head. "Hmm... it doesn't feel very fair or right to send you to Belzerg without a boon to call your own, though... How about this then? Maybe you could take the perk of being immune to all curses from here on out…?"
Ranma looked up in visible surprise. "That's a thing? I didn't see that in the catalog."
"Well, it's not a boon that people choose very often, but it's still a totally valid choice for a boon. And it's actually quite useful; it'll protect you from many debilitating skills and spells that you're likely to encounter, and as an innate trait, it can't be stolen from you the way a boon item could be," Eris elaborated, a finger upraised in a traditional lecturer's gesture as she spoke.
"Then that's the boon I want!" Ranma cheerfully announced, sitting up straight in his chair.
Eris smiled, warm and with an emotion that Ranma could only make out as pride after some rather considerable reflection in hindsight. "Very well, Ranma Saotome. You have chosen, and thus Heaven shall let it be..."
She stood up and gestured with grandiosity. The ground at Ranma's feet spontaneously lit up in an intricate device of glowing crimson light and shimmering blue sparkles. A sensation like being huddled up to a campfire on a cold winter's night washed over his body, and Ranma watched in awe as a strange golden aura formed on his skin. It rippled around him, his skin tingling, and then all of the light and sigils vanished as suddenly as they had arrived, leaving behind only the residual warmth that seemed intent on melting into Ranma's very bones.
"How do you feel, Ranma Saotome?" Eris asked, still smiling that same warm smile as before.
"Wow... I dunno what you just did, but I feel great!" Ranma declared, experimentally flexing various fingers and joints.
"Then, Ranma Saotome, it is time; prepare yourself, for the journey will be long and hard, but I am confident that you may become the great hero who will defeat the Devil King and save the world of Belzerg from its doom!"
Eris flung out her arms, and another glowing magic circle formed dramatically under Ranma's feet, this one emanating a blue light that almost seemed to form a translucent wall around him. A magical wind gushed upwards from the floor, pulling Ranma from his seat - which faded into sparkles beneath him - and then lifted him up into the sky. A brilliant light suddenly flared into existence over Ranma's head, almost like a miniature sun had bloomed to life, and he instinctively covered his eyes with his hand.
"Little sudden, don'tcha think?" He called to Eris, meaning it as a joke more than anything.
"I'm sorry, but our time is sadly up now! I can only give you this advice now, Ranma Saotome; seek the Adventurer's Guild in Axel; you will need to register there to become a true adventurer! And remember, should you be the one to defeat the Devil King, then the powers of Heaven must grant you any wish that you desire!"
"Whoa, seriously?! Aqua never mentioned that part!" An excited Ranma observed, feeling himself being lifted higher and higher into the air by the magical energies, green-gold dots flowing around him in an incredible spectacle.
"I pray that you will succeed, Ranma Saotome, and that when next we meet, it will be to celebrate your victory! Now then... begin your journey!" Eris cried joyously.
The wind picked up, the light above grew brighter, and Ranma felt himself carried aloft like a leaf in a breeze, spiraling into the all-consuming light...
Belzerg: Outskirts of Axel
The sun was shining warm and bright in a clear blue sky with just a few picturesque white clouds, the hum of grasshoppers and cicadas mixing with the sound of birdsong to form a beautiful spring chorus. Ranma could have been right back in Japan... except that he was staring at a town that looked nothing like Furinkan, or even any of the villages he'd visited during his training in China.
But first things first! Cautiously he inhaled as deeply as he could before exhaling, then felt his pulse. Finding it strong and steady, he gingerly tilted his head back and forth, finding not even a lingering stiffness in his neck.
'Okay... so, that happened. I mean... wow, this is a lot to take in. I'm dead... but now I'm alive again? In a parallel world? ...Y'know what? I'm just not gonna think about this too much - Eris said if I'm going to become a heroic adventurer, I need to go to the Adventurer's Guild in Axel. Well, this is probably Axel, so let's start with that; I can figure out what I'm gonna do once I get that done!'
Ranma didn't have a lot of familiarity with the fantasy genre. He'd seen the odd fantasy manga here or there, usually in the hands of Hiroshi and Daisuke, and even more rarely managed to catch a glimpse of fantasy anime on the television when he'd snuck up on Nabiki from time to time. Still, everything he was seeing matched what little he knew. People dressed in fashions that were a weird mixture of modern and archaic - his own trusty Chinese silk shirt and long pants combo coming off as more of a high-end outfit by comparison - walked cobblestone streets, sharing the roads with wooden carts being driven by horses. A significant minority of the people were clearly not human; long-eared elves and people with the ears and/or tails of animals most obviously. And at least one in every three people was armed (and/or armored); Western-style straight-bladed swords, axes, daggers, maces, hammers, spears and quarterstaves everywhere Ranma looked.
Ranma boldly set off to find the Adventurer's Guild and begin his new life. It took five minutes before reality set in...
'Wait... I don't know where the Adventurer's Guild is! Oh, well, that's easily fixed...'
Quickly looking around him briefly, Ranma then walked over to a trio of people who were pretty obviously all adventurers; a literal bunny-girl with a pair of shortswords strapped to her hips, a tall, tired-looking man with an ornate staff, and a young man with a sword, shield and a suit of what even Ranma could identify as armor... even if it was just over the upper torso.
"Uh, hi there! Look, sorry to interrupt you guys, but I was wonderin' if you could tell me where the Adventurer's Guild is?" Ranma asked, trying his best to be polite, even though he knew that it rarely worked out for him.
"Hey, you're a rookie, too? Well, you come to the right place! Axel's where almost all the rookies start out! The Guild's basically the center of town, and we're on the main street now - just follow it that way into the town's center and you'll get there soon enough. It's the big red-roofted building with the round stained glass window and the crest of Belzerg being flown beneath it, you can't miss it!" The armored man cheerfully informed him, pointing in the indicated direction as he spoke.
Ranma blinked in surprise, but couldn't hold back the smile. "Hey, thanks, man!"
"Eh, you're one of us, it's only polite! I'm Keith, this is Rachel and Mr. Sunshine back here's Raistlin. We're all fifth level, starting to debate on if we should be moving on from Axel soon," The warrior - Keith - cheerfully supplied, gesturing to the bunnygirl (who waved) and the apparent magic-user (who simply scowled).
"Ranma Saotome... And why are you thinking of moving on? What's your level got to do with anything?" A puzzled reincarnate asked, tilting his head.
Keith looked puzzled for a moment, then chuckled. "You must be from really out on the boonies, huh, kid?"
'Hey, you can't be more than a year or two older than me!' Ranma bit back the protest.
"Everybody starts at first level, but adventurers like us, we grow faster than almost anybody, excepting the luckiest nobles, because we're the ones out there risking our lives against monsters! Axel's what we call a safe zone; it's so out of the way that the Devil King doesn't pay it any attention, and the monsters that flock here are relatively weak. So it's a natural place for rookie adventurers like you to hone their skills, right? Problem is, the higher your level gets, the less return you get on your kills. I've heard there's some guys around here who've stayed and ground away for years until they're level twenty, or even thirty, but at that point, they're basically never gonna get any better. So if you want to actually improve your skills and become a true master adventurer, eventually, you gotta move on to where the monsters are tougher..."
'Huh, so it's kind of like that game Hiroshi was playing? What'd he call it, Final Fantasy? But I think I get the idea...'
Even as Ranma's mind raced, his mouth replied automatically. "Huh... Thanks, mister, I really didn't know that. Guess I got a lot to learn about this adventuring thing..."
"Well, cutie, we're not planning to leave just yet... we'll probably be waiting around till after the cabbage harvest at least, put some eris in our pockets. Maybe you could tag along with us on a quest or two once you register?" Rachel suggested, winking flirtatiously at Ranma, her voice smoldering, husky and seductive.
Despite the fact that Keith and Raistlin both simply rolled their eyes at the bunnygirl's obvious flirtations, icy fingers raced up and down Ranma's spine, and he recoiled instinctively. His hands shot up, waving as he fell back on old habits.
"Ah, no, that's okay, you don't need a rookie like me dragging you down! Thanks for telling me where the Guild is, maybe I'll see ya around, bye!"
And with that he turned and bolted up the road as fast as he could. Which, Ranma being Ranma, meant he effectively vanished in a gust of wind strong enough that Raistlin had to curse and grab his hat before it blew away.
Three puzzled adventurers looked towards the center of town and the blur of the new kid in town, before Rachel indignantly folded her arms across her chest and scoffed loudly.
"Wouldn't have taken him for a racist..."
"That wasn't anti-beastkin sentiment, that was full-blown terror of you flirting," Raistlin observed in his usual tired, gloomy monotone.
"Man, that kid must be running from some crazy shit back home," Keith observed casually. "Now, c'mon, weren't we going on a toad hunt?"
Minutes later...
'Okay, that nearly got weird! Sheesh, what the hell, what made her start doing that? Last thing I needed was to piss off the guys who were so nice to me... Ah, well, I'll probably never see them again, so let's focus on what matters!'
True to Keith's words, the Adventurer's Guild was impossible to miss. The redstone building with its distinctive circular stained glass window over a banner - a gold-on-blue emblem that Ranma couldn't have described even if you paid him - was roughly comparable in size to Furinkan High School, or at least the main body thereof. Dwarfed only by a great tower surrounded by a ring of strangely-shaped trumpets, the Guildhall loomed proudly over an array of houses, small market stalls filled with merchants busily selling various foodstuffs, and shoppers or other civilians just out doing their daily routine. None of them paid Ranma any real attention as he walked up to the impressive (and reinforced, if he was any judge) double-doors.
'Well... this is it... first day of my new life!'
Ranma swung the doors open, and beheld the guild's interior. Most of it was given over to tables and benches, rather reminiscent of a restaurant - with that impression only being heightened by the various girls wearing strangely archaic, vaguely maid-like costumes that were bustling back and forth with numerous plates of food and cups of drink. All of these tables were filled with men and women bearing arms and armor, every single one clearly being an adventurer of some klind . Statues, weapons, and monstrous skeletons created a somewhat jumbled, but intriguing decor - trophies of famous adventurers past, perhaps?
Ranma didn't get more than that first glimpse before a young girl whirled past, both hands filled with large cups of what looked like beer, wearing the server's uniform.
"Oh, welcome! If you're here to eat, grab a seat where you can! And if you're looking for work, head on over to the counter!"
"Okay, thanks!" Ranma replied, but the chipper young woman was already sweeping off away from him, intent on delivering her drinks to thirsty adventurers. Ranma returned his attention to the guild's interior, and soon spotted a set of small windows in one corner wall, close to a very large bulletin board. It kind of looked like a retro take on a bank... not that Ranma had spent a lot of time in banks. Still, it clearly wasn't the same as the large bar counter, where a man was busy mixing drinks, so Ranma ambled leisurely over to that corner of the room.
Most of the windows were empty, revealing simple wooden chairs in a large room on the other side of the wall. The one exception was home to an attractive young woman whose white uniform top was straining slightly to fit her bosom, a set of golden eyes matching perfectly with her orange-blonde hair. She smiled brightly at Ranma as he approached.
"Hi! How can I help you today?" She chirpily asked, her sincere enthusiasm putting an unconscious smile on Ranma's face.
"Hello! What do I gotta do if I want to be an adventurer?" Ranma asked immediately in response.
"I can help with that! All I need is for you to pay the registration fee first, and I'll get right on with the paperwork!" The woman cheerfully proclaimed.
In response, Ranma felt his positive mood shatter like a glass pane struck by an angry Akane.
"R-registration fee?" He feebly asked, eyes growing wide in surprise. He quickly searched his pockets, his mood sinking further by the second as he realized that, no, the goddesses hadn't miraculously gifted him with a wallet full of cash to cover this little problem while he wasn't looking.
"Is something wrong, sir?" The guild-woman asked, still politely, but perhaps a touch more icily than before.
Ranma tried to put on a winning smile, hands fluttering nervously as he asked, "I don't suppose I can take it out as a loan, maybe? You give me the paperwork, then I pay you back with my first couple of quests?"
"That would be highly irregular, young man," Came the clipped, unquestionably unhappy response, the woman's previous smile fading into a grim stare.
Ranma hung his head in a mixture of shame and frustration at hitting a most unexpected hurdle at the very start of his new life. "Then... what am I gonna do? I came here in such a hurry, I don't have a thing to my name! And it's not like I can just go back to where I came..."
"Excuse me, young man?"
Both Ranma and the attendant - he still needed to find out her name - looked up to see that a stranger had wandered over to join them; an older man with a short, neatly-trimmed grey beard and bushy grey eyebrows who was wearing long green and black robes and a white cloth cap on his head.
"Yeah? Sorry, old man, can I help you?"
"I think it is I who may be able to help you. I am a priest of Eris, and I overheard your dilemma. This must be fate... Here, allow me to cover the registration fee for you," The self-proclaimed priest declared, gently dropping four large, golden coins onto the counter.
Ranma boggled, sheer shock stealing his tongue and preventing him from thanking the man for his generosity, as would normally have been his first response. The guild-woman sighed and shook her head. "Oh, Morgan... you're always such a softie..."
"The goddess calls on her faithful to follow the winds of fate and fortune. I have been blessed with her generosity; helping bold young souls to pursue the winds themselves is the least I can do, Luna," the older man chuckled.
"Hey, buddy, I really can't thank ya enough for this! I promise, I'll pay ya back as soon as I can!" Ranma assured the priest.
Morgan just smiled and chuckled warmly at him, in what somebody whose father wasn't Genma Saotome would have called a paternal manner. "Oh, nonsense, it is my gift! Although... if you do well in your first few adventures, maybe donate to the Church of Eris? In honor of her generosity to you?"
"You bet I will!" Ranma declared, even finding it in him to scrape up a clumsy bow of respect. Morgan lifted an eyebrow in amused surprise at the gesture, clasping his hands and nodding his head to Ranma before leisurely turning and walking away.
The guild attendant - Luna - smiled and shook her head, clearly lost in her own thoughts for a moment before she made the coins seemingly disappear into thin air. Reaching down behind her stone counter, she picked up a strange device and placed it on the counter between them. It was a large sphere of some kind of blue crystal, maybe twice the size of a baseball or so, held in an ornate stand and surrounded by rotating rings of clockwork. Beneath the crystal orb, three increasingly smaller bowl-shaped lenses led to a syringe-like pipe. Even as Ranma stared in confusion at the strange device, Luna picked out something that resembled a blank business card, but much larger - easily the size of Ranma's hand. And not exactly blank either... it had what was clearly some kind of template on it, though all the details were missing.
"Alright then, allow me to explain how all this works," Luna began, all smiles once again.
"As a registered adventurer, you are assigned this adventurer's card. It provides many essential services, including identification and registering enemies which you have defeated. This card is essential to successfully prove you have completed quests. It's also a convenient way to apply new skill points and even ability score increases whenever you level up. But first, we will need to properly attune you to it, so it becomes your card. That's where this little device comes in. Now that I've placed the card in the slot at the base, please place your hand over the crystal, sir."
'I got no idea what she means by skill points and ability scores, but I can work on figuring that out later. Seems simple enough...'
Ranma held his hand over the crystal as he was instructed to do, and watched in no small amazement as it suddenly began to glow from within, casting an eerie blue light against the palm of his hand as the rings of clockwork spun and twirled around the sphere. The crystal's interior, originally opaque, began to visibly fill with tiny twinkling dots of blue light, which poured down into the bowl-like lenses beneath it. From here, they concentrated into the syringe-like apparatus, which suddenly disgorged a searing blue laser that struck the blank card and began burning symbols into its face.
Within a minute or so, the crystal ceased to function, and the once-blank sheet of...whatever it was, Ranma wasn't really sure, was now adorned with characters in all of its previously empty slots and squares.
"And... done! Your adventurer's card is formally attuned to you! Now we can begin discussing your... odd, that's not supposed to happen...?"
"What? What is it?!" Ranma swallowed nervously as a confused Luna took the card and looked it over more closely.
"Normally, when a person first registers as an adventurer, they're counted as being classless - part of the registration process is establishing your ability scores and choosing your class. But this card says you're already designated as a class..."
"Is that bad?" Ranma asked nervously.
"It's certainly rare, but not totally unheard of. Crimson Demons, for example, are almost always Archwizards even before they get registered, since their people train exclusively in magic and especially advanced magic before they ever consider leaving their home village," Luna absently explained.
"What's especially confusing here is the class you've got... Sennin? I've never heard of that class before… it must be an obscure Specialized Class... one moment, sir..."
Ranma could only swallow his nerves, feeling his heartbeat accelerate and fighting to master his emotions as Luna reached down behind the counter and pulled out an ancient-looking and very thick book. She cracked it open about halfway through, flipping rapidly through its pages before running her finger over the text inside. Her expression of fierce concentration quickly shifted to one of surprise as she did so.
"Oh, here it is! Wow... nobody's seen a Sennin in centuries, according to this... It's a Specialist Class, part of the Warrior family, that can master attacks from any class and even some monsters... it's almost like an Adventurer on steroids!"
"So... that's good?" Ranma tentatively asked.
"This class looks like it has the potential to be an offensive power house. If you develop it right, you could be a very valuable front-line addition to any party. And these stats of yours - they're absolutely incredible! Intellect, Perception and Mind are all well above average, Luck is just in the better-than-average category, but your Strength, Vitality and especially your Dexterity and Agility are insane - I wouldn't normally expect to see scores like this on anything less than an Intermediate Adventurer! Even if you weren't already a class, you could be practically anything with this stat array," Luna marveled, passing Ranma his card at long last.
'Good Luck? Seriously? Who decided that?!' An incredulous part of Ranma wondered, even as he mechanically reached out and accepted his new card, cradling it close to him.
"And now that you're an officially sanctioned adventurer, I'd like to welcome you to the family! Here's a pamphlet to introduce you to the fundamentals of what you need to know about being part of the Guild. We wish you luck in your endeavors," Luna declared, somehow managing to sound genuinely endearing despite the obvious rote nature of what she was saying.
Ranma accepted the pamphlet with good cheer, nodding to her in thanks, and then withdrew to an empty table to start studying up.
About ten minutes later...
Ranma stood in front of the quests board, looking over the many sheets that had been hung up as he tried to pick the best choice for his first official foray into proper adventuring.
'If I don't do one of these, I won't be eating or sleeping under a roof tonight... I mean, I can work around the no money thing, but I'd really rather not go stealin' or squattin' on my first night here! Same time, I gotta choose a quest that I can pull off... that old man stuck his neck out to pay my registration fee, last thing I wanna do is shame him by failing my very first quest here! Hey, wait a minute...'
Ranma reached out and took a sheet from the quest board, then stepped over to the attendant's window, where Luna and another, younger woman were now sitting.
"Uh, scuse me, Ms. Luna? Why would anyone want adventurers to kill giant toads?"
Luna looked up from where she'd been polishing her nails, immediately all business once again.
"Well, giant toad meat is quite tasty; we'll pay a fee of 5,000 eris for each carcass you return! Plus, with mating season coming up, the giant toads will be feeding ravenously to build up their strength, which is a big problem for the farmers of the area. Their goats, sheep, calves, pigs, chickens, and children are all at risk of becoming toad food, so there's always a need to cull their numbers and keep them away from settled zones..."
Ranma absently nodded, then stiffened as what Luna just said properly sank into his brain. "...Did you say kids?!"
"We lose, on average, a dozen children to giant toads every year... often more," Luna sighed, sad but resigned to the fact.
A slight tremor ran through Ranma's hand, and Luna blinked as a sudden unseasonably cold wind seemed to pick up out out of nowhere.
"So, what exactly happens if I end up killing more than the five giant toads then? Just askin' here," Ranma conversationally opined.
"Well, we can't give you a higher payment than what is offered for the quest - there are other adventurers pursuing that particular quest, after all. But you will receive the full price for any additional carcasses in excess of the five required," Luna replied calmly.
"Issat so? Well then... I think I wanna take this quest, please..."
Roughly an hour later...
Hunting giant toads, as Ranma had discovered, was not that difficult, all things considered. Like their smaller counterparts, they preferred shade and damp, but they had an aggressive streak that meant they preferred to hop around in search of food rather than just sitting and waiting for it to wander into grabbing range. Any suitably consistent noise or vibrations would draw them eventually, which was one of the reasons they were such a pest for livestock.
Killing giant toads, on the other hand, was a touch more complicated than that...
"Why won't you die?!" Ranma snarled, launching an uppercut into the giant toad's ribcage with all his unrestrained might. The sheer force of his blow created a backwash of wind that ruffled his shirt, the station wagon-sized amphibian lifted from its feet and launched a good three or four meters through the air before slamming heavily into the ground. But it rolled back to its feet, croaking with menacing intent, barely seeming stunned by the savage hit it had just endured.
'Damn thing's nearly as tough as Ryoga! Sheesh, maybe I should'a considered asking if there were any other new adventurers wanted ta team up... s'what I get for being greedy, I suppose...'
The ground shook as the giant toad hopped forward. Its massive jaw dropped as its tongue stabbed forth like a fleshy pink spear. But this was no unsuspecting goat it was trying to slurp up; Ranma effortlessly sidestepped the slime-drooling appendage and then charged forward.
'Well, if it's just as tough as Ryoga, maybe the same kind'a trick'll take it out!'
Even as the toad frantically reeled its tongue back into its gaping maw, Ranma had closed the distance between them. He ducked down beneath the massive head, grabbed it under the chin with both hands, and then heaved up with all his might. The toad croaked loudly in a tone of amphibian bewilderment as it found itself forced up onto its back legs, and that was when Ranma struck for real.
"Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!"
Ranma's fists flew faster than the average human eye could possibly hope to follow, hundreds of blows raining down in a spiral pattern on the toad's stomach. Each blow landed in a fraction of a second, and was followed by another, just as quick, the sustained impact creating a pattern of impacts that caused the toad's protective layer of flab to distort. Fat flowed like water, peeling backwards as Ranma brutally manipulated it through some systemic and prolonged brute force, creating a circular indentation through which the toad's musculature was left visible under the faintest layer of skin, highlighting the creature's ribcage.
"Gotcha!" Ranma roared, and powered on with one final punch that hit with everything he had straight in the center of the impromptu chink he'd chiseled in the toad's armor.
The sound of batrachian ribs violently breaking echoed through the forest like a gunshot, the toad vomiting blood as the organic shrapnel shredded both its heart and lungs. The slain toad toppled backwards like a felled tree, the earth shaking briefly as the now literal dead weight slammed into it all at once.
Ranma stood over the fallen toad, fist still outstretched, clothes damp with sweat and panting hugely as he dragged oxygen into his burning lungs. He didn't have long to savor his triumph as the earth suddenly shook again and again. Thunderous croaks filled the air as three more giant toads suddenly pushed through the undergrowth, saplings snapping like twigs beneath their massive bulk. Their throats pulsed as they closed in on Ranma in a semi-coordinated mass, the martial artist retreating cautiously as they hopped towards him.
'I'm in trouble here...'
Even as Ranma's mind raced on what to do next, perhaps even to flee and come back another day, a voice suddenly cut through the stillness of the forest, drowning out even the rumblings of the toads.
"Wind, crimson flame, grant the power of thunder to my hand! Lightning!"
Searing light split the shade of the forest undercanopy as incandescent bolts of electricity slammed into the three giant toads like divine wrath from on high. They jerked upright in their death throes, deep gurgling cries of distress spilling from their gaping mouths as the kiss of the lightning stopped their hearts, sending them all crashing to the ground, dead on the spot.
Ranma looked in amazement at the three dead beasts, then looked up at his rescuer. Standing on a small hill, overlooking the vale where Ranma had been cornered by the giant toads, was a young woman clad in a strange, skimpy outfit, even by the standards of this new world; a low-cut black blouse that highlighted just how curvaceous the stranger was, and an ultra-short pink mini-skirt paired with dark pink stockings and long brown boots. She was clutching a silver wand, still posed dramatically with it outstretched in the direction of the now-fallen toads, and even from here, Ranma could see her eyes were glowing like bright red flames in the shade cast by a tree.
For only the briefest of moments, Ranma felt genuinely intimidated. Then reality asserted itself and he smiled broadly.
"Hey, thanks! You saved my life!" He said, speaking honestly and with a rare sincerity.
Ranma's savior blinked sharply and visibly flinched at his words, the glow in her eyes vanishing (though they remained visibly red, even from where Ranma was) and her pale cheeks blooming in a heated blush.
"Oh, ah, I - I didn't! That is!" She squeaked nervously, her whole body trembling as she glanced wildly to either side, desperate to avoid looking Ranma in the eye.
'She just took those toads down like it was nothing! Is she scared of me?!' An incredulous Ranma wondered.
He didn't have more than a heartbeat to contemplate that absurd thought before he glanced past his mysterious savior and his eyes went wide in panic.
"Look out!" He cried, but it was too late.
The giant pink toad that had snuck up behind the sorceress, probably attracted by the sounds of its fellows dying, lashed out with its tongue. The young woman shrieked in terror as the slimy wet flesh coiled around her waist and yanked her bodily off of her feet, her cries ending in an instant as she vanished down the toad's gaping gullet.
"Let go of her!" Ranma roared, a second wind kicking in with a vengeance as he launched himself across the grass like a human bullet.
The toad paid him no attention of course, its entire world focused on swallowing what it had stuffed into its maw. It barely even struggled as Ranma slammed into its neck, spinning himself across the slippery skin to seat himself on its back. With an inarticulate kiai of defiance, Ranma clutched onto the toad's shoulders for dear life with his legs and drove his fist into the thinnest part of the toad's skull with all the strength he could muster.
Whilst giant toads were highly resistant to bludgeoning attacks, that immunity stemmed from their protective layer of insulative blubber, and even on a toad, there was only so much fat that could be carried on the head. The force of Ranma's blow pulverized the toad's brain inside its skull, killing it in an instant.
Even as the dead weight of its bulk slammed thunderously into the ground, Ranma was already springing free and lunging for its mouth. He wedged his left foot in the corner of the dead toad's maw to pin its lower jaw to the ground, hooked his fingers under its upper jaw, and heaved up with all his might. Blood gushed as Ranma violently disarticulated the toad's jaws and ripped its head in half, the martial artist throwing the mangled skull back onto its own body without even thinking about it.
"Are you okay!? Speak to me!" He demanded frantically as he quickly reached down into the slime-and-blood-filled expanse of the toad's now-exposed gullet, wrapped his fingers around the woman's ankle, and bodily dragged her from the stinking carcass and back into the fresh air.
Her whole body glistened with liquid foulness, its stench burning in Ranma's nostrils, but he didn't care, instead desperately hoping that he'd made it in time. When the woman gagged and spat mucus with a whimper of disgust, it was like a weight had fallen from Ranma's shoulders, and he sighed in palpable relief.
"Oh, thank goodness you're alright..."
"You - gak! You saved me?" Marveled the woman, who couldn't actually be that much older than Ranma, now he was up close to her. Her eyes were the most distracting shade of bright ruby red that Ranma had ever seen, even more than Shampoo's own wine-colored orbs, but he pushed that fact aside and smiled down at her.
"Hey, I just returned the favor! My name's Ranma Saotome; what's yours?"
The woman opened her mouth, sneezed loudly, and tried instinctively to wipe her face with her sleeve, only to whimper as she saw the state of herself. "I'm... I'm Yunyun..."
Ranma reached down a helping hand. Yunyun's crimson eyes went wide, and for a second he thought she was about to cry out in fear, but she gingerly reached up with her own hand. Ranma's fingers wrapped firmly around her slimy wrist and he pulled her to her feet as easily as if he were tossing around a throw pillow.
"Well, unless my maths is worse than I thought, that makes five toads. Care to help me get them back to Axel? I'll pay for both the bathhouse trip and the laundry as soon as I turn this quest in, I promise..."
Yunyun blinked, dripped a little, and looked hesitant for a moment. Then a particularly large gob of toad gut-slime slithered down her face and she visibly paled, shivering in disgust.
"Um... okay, if you're sure..."
Dusk...
The Adventurer's Guild had been pretty lively when Ranma had visited earlier that day, but it had really ratchetted things up a notch now that the sun was going down. What seemed like the entire town's population of adventurers had crammed into the guild-hall for drinks, meals and socializing; it was frankly almost a small miracle that Ranma had been able to score a small table for two, with drinks and meals.
As it turned out, the five thousand eris that Luna had promised for each giant toad carcass had been including the cost of a guild team transporting the body back to Axel. The townsfolk had been more than a little surprised by the sight of a single youth slowly but stubbornly dragging five giant toads back singlehandedly, though even he'd ultimately given up and haggled for temporary use of a cart upon reaching the front gates. Combined with the hundred thousand eris for completing the quest, and Ranma had been paid roughly a hundred and thirty thousand - more than enough to cover a warm room at an inn for the night, a change of clothes, baths for two, and their meals.
Yunyun fidgeted with the serve of breaded, fried giant toad she'd been served, unwilling to look Ranma in the eyes. "Um... I don't want to sound ungrateful, but you really didn't need to pay for my bath or my dinner..."
"Nonsense; you helped me out big time with those toads! I oughta be splitting this money with you," Ranma chuckled, before taking a bite out of his own fried toad.
'Hmm, not bad! Been a while since I ate frog, but this's nicer than any frog the old man ever cooked up!'
"You-You really don't need to do that!" Yunyun protested, blushing brightly.
"You really can't take a compliment, can you?" Ranma asked sincerely, his question answered perfectly when Yunyun somehow blushed even brighter and pointedly looked away, absently fiddling with her tie.
"Seriously, what you did with those toads was incredible; I was in big trouble, I don't mind telling you… so what kind of adventurer are you?"
For the first time, Yunyun stopped looking embarrassed and instead looked more confused. "...Are you asking me what my class is?"
"That's it! See, I'm not from around here... hell, I'm from really, really far away. Adventurers where I come from are... kind of different to the ones around here. They hadn't even heard of my class when I registered here," Ranma shrugged, taking another bite of toad.
Yunyun blinked slowly, but finally was looking at Ranma, at the least. "Well... I'm a Crimson Demon, as you can obviously see, so my class is Archwizard... but I'm not a very good one..."
"You smoked those three giant toads in a simple snap of the finger!" An incredulous Ranma pointed out.
"With a Lightning spell. That's only Intermediate Magic. Every other Crimson Demon doesn't leave school until they've learned Advanced Magic. But... I wasn't a very good student," Yunyun sighed forlornly, nibbling at her fried toad.
"Well, I don't know what Crimson Demons are or what the difference between Intermediate and Advanced Magic is, but I know one thing: do you wanna team up with me?" Ranma asked her.
Yunyun nearly choked on her food, and hastily had to wash it down with a drink. Once she could breathe again, she stared at Ranma dumbfounded. "Wh-what?!"
"I admit, I'm new to this, but after seeing what you did, I think that we'd go far as a team! I know other adventurers form teams to take on quests they can't handle alone, so, yeah, I want you to be my partner," Ranma explained nonchalantly.
Yunyun just stared at him, her eyes practically as wide as saucers with shock, frozen as stiff as a statue. After a good minute of silence had passed, Ranma then sighed heavily.
"Okay, well, if you're not interested, and I don't blame ya, I am just a rookie-"
"YES! Yes, I'd love to team up with you!" Yunyun shouted at the top of her lungs, leaping to her feet and slamming her hands on the table in unconscious emphasis of her words.
Then she realized that half the guild was staring right at her, went red as a beet, and hastily sat back down again, while covering her face in her hands.
Ranma just smiled and said nothing in response to this, diplomatically taking another bite of fried toad.
Chapter End & Closing Notes
And there's the end of our first chapter. Now, don't worry, I'm not going to turn Ranma into some overpowered Gary Stu. The reason Ranma is doing so much better than Kazuma did is because, well, Kazuma was a regular guy, but Ranma has spent his entire life fighting, including battling monsters. That's why he was "pre-assigned" to a class, and why his class is basically a modified Adventurer. It doesn't hurt that he lucked into a far more competent teammate in the form of Yunyun!
Speaking of Yunyun, for the unaware, in the light novels, Yunyun was originally forced to take Intermediate Magic instead of hoarding skill points so she could start out as a level 1 Archwizard with Advanced Magic, like every other Crimson Demon. She actually spent some time adventuring around Belzerg, building up a reputation for saving rookie adventurers in trouble, before she finally ground enough levels to take Advanced Magic. The anime just skips to her showing up with Advanced Magic and drops the whole storythread.
But, yes, I'll be mix-and-matching elements from both the anime and the light novels in this story, and taking it down a few oddball paths of my own invention. I do hope you'll give it a chance!