SpongeBob SquarePants: Abyssal Madness...
EPISODE 1: "The Snap"Cold Open:
It's just another soul-crushing day at the Krusty Krab. The usual: Mr. Krabs screaming about profits, SpongeBob cooking like he's high on glitter, and Squidward dragging himself behind the register like a dried-up corpse with clarinet breath.
Squidward's internal monologue kicks in:
"Every day is the same fucking thing. The grease. The noise. The idiot sponge. The greedy crustacean. I swear to god, if SpongeBob laughs one more time—"
SpongeBob:
"HAHAHAHA! Isn't life just a jellyfish hug of joy?!"
Snap.
Squidward drops his notepad. His eye twitches. His pupils dilate like he's staring into the abyss—and the abyss is finally staring the fuck back.
Act 1: Blood in the Buns
The customers are eating. SpongeBob is making Krabby Patties. Mr. Krabs is counting money, ignoring everything, muttering "More… more…" like a possessed Wall Street demon.
Suddenly:
Squidward grabs the spatula off the grill.
Mr. Krabs (without looking):
"OI! That ain't yours, Squid—"
SLASH.
Blood sprays across the fryer. SpongeBob freezes. Squidward stands over Krabs' twitching body, slicing into him, ripping out his meat like he's the goddamn special of the day. He eats it raw, blood all over his face, eyes wild, laughing like a dying animal.
Customer:
"Uh… is this a performance piece?"
Act 2: SpongeBob's Other Side
SpongeBob, still frozen, slowly turns his head toward Squidward. The restaurant is silent. Then...
SpongeBob (smiling too wide):
"Okay, Squidward. You've done it. You've finally fucking done it."
He reaches behind the counter and pulls out a steel pipe. Not screaming. Not panicking. Just disappointed.
Squidward lunges. SpongeBob fucking knocks him out.
Act 3: The Basement
Squidward wakes up. His head hurts. His body's strapped to a table with thick, industrial chains. It's cold. The walls are metal. There are syringes. Machines. Glass tanks filled with... god knows what.
SpongeBob walks in. Gloves on. Apron covered in blood. Voice calm.
SpongeBob:
"I told you, Squidward. If you snapped, I'd have to fix you myself."
Squidward (screaming):
"YOU'RE INSANE, YOU SICK PIECE OF SHIT!"
SpongeBob (grabbing a glowing syringe):
"I cannot fucking let you go, Squidward. I'm going to have to add another goddamn restraintment into your confitement until you calm the fuck down."
Squidward screams as SpongeBob injects him. The screen glitches. You hear demonic screeching. The final shot is a close-up of Squidward's face, veins bulging, his mouth frozen in a howl, SpongeBob smiling gently beside him.
End of Episode 1
Black screen.
Text fades in:
"Tomorrow, the sponge begins his experiment."
CUE disturbing outro music (think distorted kazoo versions of the original theme song).