Sandy and Patrick stand outside SpongeBob's door.
Sandy takes a breath and knocks.
Sandy:
"SpongeBob, we need to talk."
No answer.
Patrick:
"We brought you... uh, concern. And a banana."
The door opens slowly.
SpongeBob stands there. Blank stare. Same clothes. Same stiff smile. Hands behind his back.
ACT 2: The Confrontation
Sandy (softly):
"You've been in this house for days. No work. No calls. And every time we come by—there's always fucking JAM everywhere."
Patrick (nods):
"Too much jam. Way too much."
SpongeBob:
"Oh… you're right. There's something I should probably tell you then."
Pause. Tension rises.
Sandy and Patrick lean in, ready for the truth. Ready to hear about the real horror.
ACT 3: The Lie
SpongeBob (flat tone):
"I'm suicidal."
Sandy:
"What—?"
SpongeBob (calmly, with a polite nod):
"Yep. That's it. Depression. Suicidal thoughts. Trauma. You name it. That's the jam. Not blood. Just my sweet, fruity breakdown."
He steps back into the house slowly.
SpongeBob (soft voice):
"Anyway… thanks for checking in. I'm gonna go cry in a bathtub now. Have a good day."
He closes the door.
ACT 4: Stunned Silence
Sandy and Patrick just stand there. In total silence.
Patrick:
"Did we just get... shut down by a sponge?"
Sandy (fists clenched):
"That motherfucker just emotionally blackmailed us with mental illness."
ACT 5: Inside the House
Inside, SpongeBob drops the smile.
He walks to a drawer, opens it, and stares at a bloody scalpel.
He mutters:
SpongeBob:
"They're not ready for the real truth. Not yet."
He walks to the basement door. Opens it.
Pearl is barely breathing.
SpongeBob:
"Guess what, Pearl? They fell for it. We've bought ourselves more time."
He leans in.
SpongeBob (whispers):
"I'm not suicidal. I'm divine."
ACT 6: Back Outside
Sandy:
"We're not done. We're coming back tonight. We break in. No more knocking. No more waiting."
Patrick:
"What if he's really hurting, though?"
Sandy (dead serious):
"Then we save him. Or we stop him. Either way—we go in."
Final Shot:
Back inside, SpongeBob sits on the couch. The camera pulls in slowly.
He looks right into it.
SpongeBob (cold smile):
"They always believe you… when you say you're broken."
TO BE CONTINUED.