Am I dead or is it all just in my head?

My surroundings would allow both conclusions. Damp cold wets my skin and it seems so real, but yet again so far removed from life.

Is this what they mean by Nirvana? Right here, at the bright and white ... King's Cross?

I try to ignore my growing unrest, but when I notice that blood is dripping from my hands onto the white floor by the railway line, I can barely move.

I feel as though I'm about to be sick, as so often ever since Little Hangleton. I'm outright disgusted by that much color on white background.

And suddenly all I see is red, everywhere. On my body, the ground, dripping from my hands, more with every harsh breath I take.

Am I bleeding?

My perception is clearly distorted as I try to make out wounds that simply don't exist – until a burning glow in my core almost reminds me of my there is pain, death can not yet spread its grim solitude, or could it?

As the glow expands into a strange, fuzzy sensation, I'm much more disturbed.

Warmth isnot and light in a white train station are not good …

"What's wrong?" I suddenly hear a calm female voice ask. "Does the red bother you?"

I whirl around and for a moment there, I think I see double, but as my vision gradually focuses, I'm too surprised to even question my condition, the situation, or any other absurdity on this side of hell.

"Merope …" Her name practically falls out of my mouth as she, wrapped in a dark, velvety green dress, forms a clear contrast to the blood in this bright place.

"It breaks my heart when you call me that, Tom. I always wanted to be more than that. I would have loved to be a mother to you …"

My jaw tightens as I regard her, it's hard to avoid. "That has never been your concern. All you ever wanted was to ensure that the damned Slytherin bloodline –"

"Is that why you're afraid of it? Of blood?" She watches me intently, moving closer as if she didn't want me to even notice. "Because it was to blame for your destiny from the day you were conceived?"

"No." I square my shoulders indignant by the very idea of it, the thought makes me pause nevertheless. And it upsets me more than it should. "No," I still decide. "No blood in the world forced you to do what you have done. My destiny wasn't shaped by the madness that flows through both our veins, but by your choices!"

"Oh, Tom …" A corner of her mouth lifts, still she looks sad. "You know how it feels to make wrong decisions. You know the regret, don't you? The weight of guilt that can never be atoned for, no matter how hard we try … What I have done can never be forgiven, and I know that. It was my last conscious thought before I had to leave you."

"Had to," I repeat acidly while shaking my head. "You were a witch, you could have saved yourself – you could have saved me –"

"Believe me, Tom," she firmly interrupts me, "I did. At least that I did …" Whatever she's talking about, she seems more than convinced. "And yet my sins don't have to ruin your life."

I back away, but she inches yet closer – until she's raising her hands to my face to touch me like wind, even though her skin is right on mine.

"Don't you know how much I have loved you?" she whispers, tears welling up. "I held you in my arms, from your first breath to my last, and if I could only have stopped time forever – Tom, I would have."

"But you didn't," I retort, stepping away from her again. "You gave up and left me torn between two worlds. With nothing but a name …"

"I knew you would be clever enough to follow that hint one day." She proudly nods. "But Tom – why were you barely able to light up the torches in the catacombs as of lately? Don't you understand? My worst mistake soon overshadowed everything. I did what I could to protect you. I was a witch, but even magic has its limits. It suffers and dies when we are heartbroken. It happened to me. It happened to you –"

"I didn't have a broken heart, I wanted to tear my soul apart –"

"That's one and the same, darling," she claims. "But you've made the right decision, and I'm so proud of you, Tom. I sincerely hope that one day you can forgive me. But for now … breathe and wake up!"

I refuse both. "You leave me again, right away?"

"I'd love you to stay with me, Tom – but you don't belong here." She forces a smile as she takes my hands, and again I feel nothing but a distant touch. "I want you to be happy. Live your life, don't be like me. And never believe that no one could love you – because I already did. Remember that, be sure of it. More than my own life, only just for one hour when it should have been decades. But still … I need you to realise that you are not alone." Almost crying, Merope raises a hand up to my cheek. "Open your eyes!"

All my senses are deceiving me, but I can no longer hear the voice of my ... mother.

No, instead I hear Harper. And Rouvenia. As if from distance, but it brings me closer and closer into our world again.

They're all talking over each other, while Elliott – I believe – keeps hitting me in the face though I can barely feel it.

"Come on," Harper shouts. "Wake up!"

"Tom?" Elliott keeps shaking me. "Tom! Do you hear me?"

"Bryant!" Rouvenia eventually chimes in. "Stop hitting him like that!"

"Be! Don't! Dead!" With every word a new hit follows.

"Enough!" I suddenly hear Nagini yell. "He needs adrenaline – move!"

And then I feel again. Poisonous teeth of a powerful jaw burying into my thigh wake me up for good,as if I'd been suffocating underwater. Itisadrenaline flowing through my body. But also purest, raw pain – in regained full possession of my soul.

The first thing I see, breathing heavily, is Nagini's attempt to pull her teeth out of my leg again. After she finally succeeds, she glances at me attentively.

"You're welcome – you're alive," she hisses, wrapping herself around my neck like she wanted to hug me. But I don't have much time to come to my senses given Harper anxiously feels my pulse.

"It worked." She quickly nods, wiping tears from her face to beam at me. "It worked!"

"Do you feel … complete?" Elliott asks, Rouvenia only bites her lip with wide eyes.

I intuitively reach for Harper's hand – and I feel how warm she is.

Not through a veil like during the rituals, not like wind, as it was the case with Merope's touches – I don't just know I should feel it.

I do.

So I eventually nod, dazed still, while Elliott looks back at Leonora and Hagrid in utmost enthusiasm.

I, however, can't take my eyes off Harper. I'm to blame for all her worries …

"I shouldn't have left after Little Hangleton," I say, grabbing her other hand, too. "You were right."

"I was," she pouts, trying to hide her joy at these seldom words. "And I'll keep on reminding you. I'm mad as hell and you'll get it all back –"

"Seeing you with Raymond and Dean was dramatic enough."

"You have no idea what dramatic means," she interrupts me with a grin. "Not yet."

"How do you feel, you look pale," Nagini whispers as she moves onto Harper's shoulders.

"Didn't you say yourself that I always look like that?"

"It sounds so scary," Leonora whispers. Elliott only hugs her in response.

"Tom …" Harper feels my forehead, sighing, "You're burning with fever. We need to take you to the hospital wing –"

"Not a chance," I immediately protest. "No. I'm fine."

"Fine?" Elliott can no longer suppress a laugh at these words. "You look like you've just died!"

"Elliott …" I take a deep breath. "I don't deserve how loyal you are."

"No. You don't." He shrugs his shoulders. "But I don't mind as long as you come to your senses again. Let's just agree that those last few weeks were somewhere between terrible mood swings and youthful recklessness."

"Recklessness," Rouvenia chuckles, "rather was full-blown madness!"

"It still is," Harper says. "You have an Unbreakable Vow to work on – and quite a scary one ..."

"Unfortunate, indeed," I confirm. "But for now – happy birthday, Harper May …"

She rolls her eyes and then holds up her diary.

"Take a close look – this is a normal present," she claims. "A not so normal present is surviving a black magic ritual against all odds. But since you're never out of luck, it seems, I'm not picky ..."

"Next year will be better, Harp, I -"

"Don't promise what you can't keep," she whispers, giving me a tired smile. "Just get well again, will you?"

I flinch when Nagini slides over my leg – covered in blood, thanks to her. The very next moment, however, she's standing in front of us in a blue dress, and I don't think I've ever seen her smile like that.

"Did it really have to be that leg again?" I ask, a little tormentedly.

"You can't be picky either, Tom." Then she looks back at Hagrid. "Ready?"

"Ready!" We can hear his excitement, and I'm rather soon sure it has to do with a vial he now hands her.

"What for?" I ask, well alarmed.

"You need her poison for the blood pact," Nagini tells me as she takes the tiny glass to approach Echidna.

My thigh is still bleeding, but now I have a good reason to get my tired bones off the ground.

"Wait, you can't just –"

"I have fangs myself," Nagini mutters and already aims for Echidna's head. "I know what I'm doing."

"Nagini, wait! I haven't yet told her what we –"

"Well, I have," she informs me. "And she agrees. Just like she agreed not to tear us apart so we could help you." A little more quietly, she whispers, "She's fond of you, Tom, must be your incomparably dark charm."

I ignore that, pushing past Nagini to reach the basilisk. "Echidna, you were right …" She still keeps her eyes closed, but now she inclines her head towards me so she can finally look only at me again. "You were right, I shouldn't have started that ritual. But did you really betray me?"

"To help you, son of Slytherin, only to –"

"I know, I know," I reply and let my hand slide over her cold scales reverently. "And I won't forget that. Yet you are about to help again …"

"With poison," she hisses. Apparently she really knows. "Nagini is like you, but also like me, only smaller …"

"Yes, sort of." I look up at Nagini. "We speak the same language. So are you alright with that, Echidna?"

"I am," she confirms. "Son of Slytherin, do not worry, my poison is strong."

"Of course it is." I smirk. "I've never had a doubt about that."

"Harper, how the hell can he look at her without dying?" I hear Rouvenia ask in the back, hopelessly perplexed. "And Nagini is definitely poisonous, too, why doesn't it affect him?"

"He's Slytherin's last living descendant," I hear Harper admit and look back at her as she says these words.

Rouvenia's jaw drops, and Elliott also seems to be a tad overwhelmed, but I don't have time for that now.

"The mudblood is afraid of me, I feel it," Echidna hisses to me.

"I'll eventually introduce you to each other. But let's not keep Nagini waiting …"

Echidna moves her head as if to agree, just before she closes her eyes again.

While everyone gathers around Nagini and tries to look over her shoulder while she's extracting poison from one of the most infamous creatures of our world, Harper just stays far away next to the pentagram, looking into the ground uneasily.

I soon join her in doing that, silent for a moment before I take her hand.I'd almost forgotten how calming that was ...

"I'm sorry, Harper." When I give her a kiss on the forehead, she smiles wearily, but my words are long overdue. "Sorry for the last few weeks. Lots of things. But I … Thank you. For your patience."

"How do you know I still have some?"

"I don't. But you've claimed I was capable of the virtue of hope …"

She nods. "The virtuous Tom Marvolo Riddle. I'd struggle to get used to that."

"But it has a ring to it. Just like my last name. I wish to share that with you."

"Just look at those teeth!" we hear Elliott shout in awe. Everyone keeps staring at Echidna as if spellbound while Nagini extracts her poison.

Harper, however, glares at me. "That's not funny, Tom. You've said that before and look where it's gotten us."

"Down here, yes," I say, nodding. "To hell, to the point where I know for sure what I want … What do you want?"

"A phenomenal graduation, a Tom that is not megalomaniac, and a trip or two, to some exciting place. In that exact order." She tries not to laugh. "No, fine. That's … not quite true. But how many times have you lied to me?"

"You may lie as much as you want, for the rest of your life, I don't mind."

"The rest of a life can sometimes be too short …" She looks over to the others with Echidna, then conjures up the courage to add, "You have to look at the rest of your mother's memories, Tom. Trust me."

"Harper, no, that –"

"Five memories!" She frowns. "That was all she could leave you – and you only looked at three of them. You were about to endure five rituals. In a pentagram. But you won't watch five memories? She risked her life to tell you her story, several times at that. So listen to it. Come on, there's a Pensieve in the Room of Requirement."