I just finished watching the Live-Action One Piece series last night, and I thought they did an excellent job. Sure there were some awkward moments here and there, but considering they had to cram nearly 100 chapters worth of content into 8 hours, I thought they did splendidly. What did you all think? Love it? Hate it? Somewhere in the middle? I'd love to hear from you guys!
Beta-read by Pure Red Crane
Lesson 5: First Impressions are Important, so Double-Check That Your Zipper is Up
"Damn!" An aggressive shout rang out from the small eatery on the outskirts of Bakura-chō. Inside, the gluttonous Urashima scarfed down his food in a rage. "That ronin's strange intensity drove me off, but mark my words, Okiku will be my bride! I've got status, fame, wealth, and access to the farms…There's no reason for her to turn me down!"
"Stop filling your head with idiotic worries," His companion sighed, a Beast Pirate with large mouse ears.
"Huh?"
"This woman's originally from Okobore-chō, right? Even if she's moved to the entertainment district, she's still a lower class, barred from serving under the Shogun, chuchuchu." Mouse-man chuckled. He pointed his chopsticks at the Yokozuna. "So just take her by force; burn down her home, kill her relatives, and leave her with nowhere else to go, so she has no choice but to accept you to survive! You're part of the samurai class! You can do with her and others like her as you please! After all, if you go around begging from the likes of them, it sets a bad example."
Urashima took in his words before breaking out into a disgusting grin. "Hehehe, you're right! I can do what I please with Okiku!" He knocked aside the last of his meal straight onto the floor. The proprietors of the eatery, an old man and his wife, rushed to him.
"Yokozuna-sama, did the meal displease you?" the old man asked in a shaky voice.
Urashima pointed at the animal the old woman was holding in her arms. "I noticed that Tanuki there…"
"Yes, it has been our pet for many years…"
"I want you to cook it for me! Tanuki is my favorite, after all," he ordered gleefully, in contrast to the shock and horror of the old couple. They could never bring themselves to harm their beloved pet, but if they defied the orders of a samurai…
"Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to stop you right there. After all, such an act will be a violation of the Welfare and Management of Animals laws, even if you are of the warrior class." As if to break the horrid spell cast over the group, a muscular man with a goatee dressed in a casual brown kimono walked up from behind. He carried a sword on his side, signifying his own status as a samurai. He had been sitting in silence in the back, enjoying his meal.
"Huh?! Who do you think you are to preach the law to me?! Identify yourself!" Urashima demanded the newcomer.
"I see no reason to give my name to a scoundrel such as yourself, so I hope that this will suffice." The man dug into the sleeve of his kimono before pulling out a black notebook, flipping it open to reveal an intricately designed golden badge. Urashima and Mouse-man recoiled.
"The Shinsengumi?!"
"That's right. And don't think I haven't been listening in on your little conversation. Understand this: We may exist in a class system, but a true samurai makes it their duty to protect those beneath them, not to bring ruin to them. Do not think that just because you are part of that class, you are exempt from the law. Try to put your words into action, and we will see that you are brought to justice as harshly as possible," the samurai sternly said, narrowing his eyes at the duo.
"H-hey officer, no need to rush things like that. We were just joking around, of course. Right?" Mouse-man nervously asked his companion, who just nodded quickly. He then noticed the large bruise on his cheek. He decided to use the opportunity to change the subject. "Say, officer, how did such a fine warrior such as yourself get such a wound? It must've been from a particularly nasty criminal, right?"
The man patted his cheek. "Oh, this? I just got it from the woman I've been courting."
"Huh?"
The stranger suddenly adopted a goofy-looking grin. "It's been two years now since I first fell for her. She's rejected me at every turn, but I think I'm finally starting to make some headway. Persistence is rewarded in the end, after all."
"Why would you allow some woman to do that to you?! You're a samurai, too, so you should have no trouble forcing her to marry you! Why bother making a fool of yourself?!" Urashima spat angrily, seeming to forget the situation he was in. The stranger's glare returned, causing the wrestler to flinch.
"You really don't get it, do you? I could never do something like that to my dear Otae-san. No matter how many times she may put me down and refuse me, I will continue to try to win her heart. But I will never do anything that would threaten to take away the smile of the woman I love. If I did, well, forget calling myself a samurai; I would have no right to continue calling myself a man. A concept you clearly do not care for." The stranger finished with clear disdain lacing his words.
Urashima gritted his teeth. He had never felt so insulted before, but he knew better than to try and get involved with those infamous manslayers. He pushed aside the couple as he stomped away, Mouse-man following at his heels. The man turned and sat back down at his table, quickly downing the last of his rice and tempura.
"Samurai-sama…" the old woman started, stopping short as the man placed his cleaned-out bowl down along with a couple of silver coins. He turned, flashing the old couple a warm smile.
"Granny, Gramps, thank you for the meal. It was delicious."
"No, thank you. We wouldn't have been able to do anything if it weren't for you."
"I was just doing my duty, sir. One that I must return to. If anything like that happens again, just know that the Shinsengumi is always on call." The stranger stood as he made his way out of the eatery, the old couple and their tanuki bowing behind him.
Buruburuburu Buruburuburu
Just as he stepped outside, a ringing came from his smail. He picked it up, and with a click, the telepathic gastropod's form shifted, adopting a pair of shades, light stubble, and a white scarf.
"Hey, Kondo, where are you, you shitty gorilla? We've been trying to get in contact with you all morning." a gruff voice came out of the smail.
"Pops? Uh, sorry about that. I had, uh, important business to take care of here in Kuri."
"Chasing skirts again?"
"Like you're one to talk…" Kondo deadpanned.
"Whatever. Just listen, dumbass. I've got an important mission coming up for you, one that concerns the entire police force of Wano. Report back to the Flower Capital immediately for debriefing."
Kondo adopted a serious look. "Yes, sir! I'm on my way!"
"Hey, kid, you still in there? Heeeey…" The silver-haired man waved his hand in front of Luffy's face, trying to snap him out of his daze.
"Luffy…?" Zoro had never seen his captain react like this, much less to a total stranger. Luffy blinked.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about that, old guy. I thought you were someone else for a second there." No matter how you looked at it, this definitely was not the same man he fought to the death back on Whole Cake Island. But then why did he sound so similar…? Well, whatever. It was probably just a coincidence. Luffy pushed it to the back of his mind and decided not to worry about it, just like everything else that confused the hell out of him.
"Uh-huh. Wait, who are you calling 'old guy,' you brat? I'm only 28. It's just my hair that's like this. And the name's Sakata Gintoki." The man finally introduced himself, clearly annoyed at being labeled old.
"Ah, nice to meet you! I'm Monk…" Zoro gave him a light elbow jab in the side, reminding him of their earlier discussion as they were riding into town.
"We can't let any more people know we're outsiders. Kin'emon said we need to lay low. So you'll need an alias."
Luffy coughed. "I-I mean, I'm Luffytaro…de-gozaru! Yeah."
"Zorojuro de-gozaru," he said shortly.
Gintoki just raised an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah…Nice to meet you. You guys aren't actually from here, are you?"
"Eh?! How did you know?!"
"I mean, it's pretty obvious. You guys don't exactly come across as locals." Otose said flatly.
Kiku just giggled as she continued to wrap Zoro's wounds. "You do speak pretty strangely."
"Not to mention, I literally met you after you washed ashore-aru." Kagura pointed out as she continued eating her chunk of tainted meat.
"So we were pretty much busted the moment Luffy arrived. Of course we were." Zoro thought to himself in exasperation.
"Don't worry, we won't tell anyone," Tsuru reassured the duo.
"Not like anyone here really cares anyway. You wouldn't be the first set of tourists we've gotten here," Gintoki stated as he continued to rub the side of his head.
"Thanks!" Luffy smiled before another thought came to him. "Eh? Gintoki, you said? Hey, Kagura…" the straw hat captain turned to the Yato.
Kagura nodded her head. "Yeah, this is Gin-chan, the boss I was telling you about."
Luffy tapped his fist into his palm. "Oh yeah, the bum!"
"Oi, Kagura, just what the hell were you telling this guy about me?" Gintoki pointed at Luffy, a tick mark forming on his head.
Luffy turned back to the samurai. "She said you could help us find our friends."
"Eh?"
From there, Luffy and Kagura explained everything, from their meeting on the beach up to their escape from Hawkins. After smacking Kagura on the head for getting into so much trouble first thing in the morning, Gintoki turned back to Luffy.
"…So that's what happened. Can you help us, Perm Guy?"
"I told you my name was Gintoki. Don't go forgetting it just a second after I told you."
"Shishishi, sorry, sorry." Luffy apologized, clearly not sorry in the least.
"Man, this is a lot to take in first thing in the morning." Gintoki rubbed his forehead.
"It's almost noon, you bum." Catherine reminded him.
"It's still AM, you worthless cat monster. And it always feels like the first thing in the morning with a hangover."
"Here, Gintoki-sama. This should help relieve you of your ailment." Tama handed Gintoki the last of the evil-purging tea she had made to help Tamako.
"Thanks." Gintoki downed the drink, gagging at the foul taste of the stuff.
Luffy turned to the maid. "Why do you talk like that? Are you a robot?"
"I am. More precisely, I am an android."
Luffy shot up, stars forming in his eyes. "Wait, for real?! Can you shoot lasers or change into a tank?!"
"I apologize, Luffytaro-sama. I am afraid I have no such functions."
Luffy deflated. "Aw…You should talk to Franky then. He can totally help you out with that."
"I will record that in my database."
Zoro was surprised, to say the least. "What's an android doing in Wano? I thought this country didn't have access to that kind of advanced tech."
"You are correct, Zorojuro-sama. I originally came from a remote research lab on another island created by my 'father,' Dr. Vegapunk, as a prototype for one of his later creations. However, an incident occurred that resulted in the laboratory being abandoned, leading to my deactivation. I then found myself awakening again after being reactivated by Gengai-sama, an associate of Otose-sama. According to him, I was brought by the Beast Pirates after they raided the lab, looking for precious technology and materials. However, they could not determine how to operate it and were prepared to melt it down for their weaponry, myself included. Gengai-sama found me soon after, spending decades learning about the technology before finally reactivating me 2 years ago. As per my original protocols, I am now in service to Otose-sama and the other residents of this establishment."
"That's quite a story." He then locked eyes on Catherine. "And what's your deal? I've been wondering for a while, but I doubt those are common here either." Zoro pointed at her ears.
"You mean Catherine-sama? She obtained those cat ears from eating a SMILE fruit."
"You ate one of those?" Luffy asked.
"Well, she was a member of the Beast Pirates after all," Gintoki answered, finally recovering from his headache.
"What?!"
Zoro drew his sword, pointing it at Catherine's neck. "Oh? Is that right?"
Catherine panicked. "Waitwaitwaitwait! I'm not with those assholes anymore! I left them a long time ago!"
Zoro's single eye narrowed, but he lowered his blade slightly. "A defector? Hard to believe Kaido would allow something like that on his own crew."
Catherine flipped her hair as she took another puff of her cigarette. "What can I say? Their actions didn't agree with my morals."
"What morals-aru? They kicked you out because of your shitty personality and the fact that the only thing you got from eating that fruit were those useless cat ears and that Rock Lee haircut." Kagura revealed with the bluntness of a sledgehammer.
"They didn't need to know that! And my haircut has nothing to do with it!"
Otose rolled her eyes. "It's the truth, though. You were running around as a thief to make ends meet before I hired you."
Luffy crossed his arm. "Huh, just like Nami."
"Somehow, I doubt she'd appreciate the comparison." Zoro turned to the old woman. "You hired a former pirate and thief to help run your bar? Little risky, isn't it?"
Otose just shrugged. "What can I say? I needed the help. Besides, she promised to leave all that behind her and start fresh after being arrested the first time."
"So then she actually has robbed you?" He sweatdropped.
Finally relieved of his hangover and no longer caring for the author's overextended character introductions, the Yorozuya boss decided it was time to get back to business. "Anyways, you said you needed help finding your friends, right? Yet you don't have any money on you."
"Nami's the one who handles our money. So once we find her, you can talk things out together." Luffy explained.
Kagura tossed aside the bones of her finished meal. "Come on, Gin-chan. We could use the job. Not to mention, they helped me bring Tamako-chan here-aru."
"And saved my life in the process," Tsuru added.
"And helped chase away that dreadful Yokozuna harassing us." Okiku joined in.
Otose took another puff of her cigarette. "Considering you're already three months behind on your rent, it's better than nothing."
The word 'rent' drove a particularly nasty stake through Gintoki's heart, but the women did make good points as he turned and focused on Tamako, now resting peacefully as Tsuru tended to her.
Luffy made another attempt to bargain. "If that doesn't work for you, I can always give you an IOU from my treasure tab!"
"Your what?" Gintoki cocked an eyebrow.
"Yeah! When I become Pirate King and get the One Piece, I'll be able to pay you back plus interest." Luffy explained as if this was obvious.
"Oh? So you'll become Pirate King, eh?" Gintoki leaned back as he began digging through his nose.
Luffy just grinned. "Yeah! It's been my dream for as long as I can remember." He patted his first mate on the back. "Zoro's the same too! He wants to become the world's greatest swordsman."
"Quite a lofty ambition."
"Yeah, but I'll do it. Don't you have anything like that?"
"Like what?"
"A dream."
"Nope," Gintoki answered immediately. There was so little doubt in his voice that Luffy was taken aback for a moment.
"Really, are you sure?"
"Sure sure," Gintoki confirmed.
Kagura sat down next to Zoro. "Don't bother-aru. He really does mean it. I guarantee you won't find a more unmotivated guy in the world than our Gin-chan here. The closest thing he's had to a dream was wanting his hair to be straight."
"Hey, what's wrong with wanting straight hair?! You try living with hair like this and see how you like it! Have you ever tried going out on a rainy day, only for your head to get all tangled?! It's a shitty experience!" Gintoki snapped.
Luffy looked around the bar, finding its inhabitants all nodding in agreement with Kagura as if this was the most natural thing in the world. Luffy wasn't sure what to make of it, but he decided now wasn't the time to focus on such things. The important thing was whether this guy could help him find his crew.
Gintoki finally settled down, turning his attention back to Luffy. "Well, regardless, this is the first job we've had in a while, so I guess we'll help you out and settle the tab with your girlfriend."
"Really, thanks! You really are a nice guy after all, Katapermi."
"Oi, who the hell is that? Did someone new show up behind me while I wasn't looking? I'll kill you, you damn brat. I'll seriously do it."
Luffy just laughed it off before Zoro interjected with his own concerns. "I don't know, Luffy. Do you actually think we can count on this guy to help us track down our crew?"
Zoro had been watching the Yorozuya boss for some time now, and he was not impressed with what he saw: his slovenly posture, his crass way of speaking, those unfocused, half-lidded eyes giving the impression of a dead fish, and the way he carried around that battered old bokutō (which for some reason smelled strongly of curry even from two seats away). Frankly, he was the most un-samurai-like person Zoro had ever met.
"Yeah, there's no way this is the person that Zura guy was talking about." Zoro thought to himself, thinking back to the conversation he had yesterday with the long-haired man and his pet as they escaped from the Flower Capital.
Zoro, Katsura, and Elizabeth leaped from rooftop to rooftop as the streets below clamored with lawmen ready to take their heads on sight.
"Look, I already told you, I'm not planning to join your rebel alliance or whatever! I already have a group I'm a part of!"
"Very well! Then we should most definitely form an alliance to better bring forth a new dawn to Wano!" Katsura laughed in fervor.
Zoro shook his head, figuring there was no convincing the man. "Where are we even going?"
"That is simple! Our next stop is to the region of Kuri to recruit a warrior who will most definitely be needed for the upcoming revolution."
This caught Zoro's attention. "Oh yeah, who would that be?"
"An old war buddy of mine. During the Joui War, we fought side by side on the battlefield against the Beast Pirates. A samurai with silver-white hair whose ferocity and skill terrified both enemy and ally alike. The legendary Shiroyasha!"
Zoro quickly adopted his trademark grin as he absorbed the info. "The White Demon, huh? Sounds interesting. I think I'd like to meet this guy."
"We were on our way here, but then that Zura guy went and got himself lost. Honestly, why does that always end up happening to everyone?" The moss-headed moron thought to himself, returning to the present. "He may be sporting the same hairstyle, but there's no way this bum could actually be the infamous warrior he was describing."
"Oh, and who are you to judge how well I do things, Mayora?" Gintoki asked sharply.
"Huh? What did you call me?"
"Sorry, force of habit." Gin corrected himself. "I'll have you know that once we're given a job, we always see it through. That is how we do things here at the Yorozuya. Not to mention you probably don't know the first thing about this place, Mossora."
"Just because you changed the name a little doesn't make it less annoying, you bastard," Zoro growled, a tick mark forming on his head.
"He's not wrong, though. Knowing you, you'll probably get lost the first moment you step out the door," Luffy stated matter-of-factly.
"Oi, Luffy—!" Zoro's face became flushed with embarrassment.
Gintoki grinned smugly. "Oh, is that right? Do you need your mom to walk you to the bathroom at night, too? How embarrassing for a man of your age, fufufu." He cupped a hand over his mouth, giving a condescending chuckle.
Zoro placed a hand on his sword, officially pissed off. "Watch it, you—" Before a fight could erupt, the two were interrupted by Tamako's coughs as the tea purged the last of the river's toxins from her body.
"Tamako! How are you feeling?" Kiku rushed over to check on the young girl. Completely forgetting the conversation, the group surrounded her to check on her condition. Luffy and Kagura were especially worried.
"Ugh…" Tamako groaned a bit before her eyes shot open and leaped to her feet. "I'm all better now!"
"That stuff works fast!" Zoro commented in surprise.
"The evil-purging herb is a powerful medicine, especially for cases like hers," Kiku explained as she handed the girl a glass of water.
"Of course, she also has youth on her side." Otose gave a small smile in relief.
"Yay, you're cured!" Kagura picked up her little sister, spinning her around.
"Arf!" Komachiyo peeked inside, barking in glee to see his friend safe, Sadaharu panting at his side.
"You really had us scared there." Luffy grinned, happy to see his new friend recovered. Back at the bar, Gintoki and Zoro just smiled.
"Yes. However…" Tsuru started speaking, catching the attention of the dancing trio. "The poison has not been completely removed from your body just yet. You'll need more time to recover. So you must not drink from the river water anymore, alright?"
"Yes, ma'am." Tamako heeded her words. Her stomach began to growl again, sending her into a panic. "WAAAH! NO! DON'T RUMBLE, STOMACH! IT'S A SAMURAI'S SHAME! THE RIVER! I NEED THE RIVER WATER!" The young girl rushed out the door, making a break for the same river that poisoned her beforehand.
"Tamako-chan! Stop!" Tsuru shouted after her, the group gathering outside.
"Are you kidding me?! After all that?!" Zoro yelled.
Gintoki just sighed. "Kagura…"
At his queue, Kagura picked up the nearest object, an empty water bucket, and flung it directly at Tamako, nailing her right on the back of the head and knocking her out cold again.
"Yosh!" Kagura fist pumped, Gintoki applauding her perfect aim. Everyone else was less pleased.
"Oi! Was that necessary!? She's still recovering!" Luffy shouted.
"Sometimes, kids just have to learn certain lessons the hard way. It's like when you're young and you put your hand on the stove. You burn yourself, and it hurts like crazy, but then you know better going forward. It's the same principle." Gintoki waxed sagely.
"This way, she'll know what happens if she tries to drink from the river. It's the job of her elders to teach her that!" Kagura agreed.
"That doesn't justify knocking her out cold, you idiots!" Otose pounded both Gin and Kagura on the head as Tsuru rushed over to collect the girl.
After everyone settled down, Luffy, Zoro, and Gintoki sat outside, continuing to discuss their missing crew while Kagura played with Sadaharu and Komachiyo in the street. Meanwhile, Tama and Tsuru prepared a meal for Tamako when she woke up again. Kiku brought out some dango for the men.
"Here you go." Kiku handed the trio the treat.
"Thanks," Luffy said. Zoro just nodded in acceptance.
"And I made sure to add extra syrup to yours, Gin-san."
"Thanks, Kiku," Gintoki said before chowing down. "So just going over things again, we're looking for a group of five: a shitty cook with swirly eyebrows, a rabbit, a reindeer that looks like a tanuki, a skeletal man with an afro, and an orange-haired girl with large breasts."
"Yep, that sounds about right. But it's not a skeletal-looking man, Brook's an actual skeleton." Zoro corrected him.
Gintoki pondered what he meant by this. "Certainly, he's joking, right? We're not getting hired to find an actual walking skeleton, right? It's not gonna curse me later if I mess up, right?!" Gintoki decided it was best to push these worries to the side and focus on more important matters.
"So this navigator of yours, the one with orange hair; how big are we talking here? E-cup? F? Or maybe even G?"
Luffy tilted his head. "Is that important for finding her?"
"Very important," Gintoki answered with complete conviction. As the two delved deeper into this incredibly serious topic, a shout rang out from inside Snack Otose.
"No way, no way, no way! There's no way I can accept this!" Tamako, having finally woken up with a new welt forming in her head, bowed down as she pushed away a bowl of oshiruko toward Tsuru. "I don't even have any money to pay for the medicine! I can never afford anything as precious as oshiruko!" Her stomach and eyes told a different story as drool began to pool in her mouth, but her honor would not permit her to accept the nice meal before her.
Tsuru just smiled. "Don't be silly. I don't need money. You need to eat to regain your strength. You'll feel a lot better afterward."
"Please! I can't accept it after you all saved my life! I promise I'll pay you back for the herbs!"
Suddenly, Tsuru snapped, picking up the girl by the hem of her clothes and shaking her around. "Enough! What kind of woman sets out food for a hungry person and just takes 'no thanks' for an answer!? If you don't eat it, I'll just dump it on the side of the road or give it to that slob over there!" She roared, pointing at Gintoki.
"Why are you dragging me into this?" he questioned, his eyebrow twitching.
Kiku tried to reason with Tamako. "Please, Tamako-chan, she's serious. Just accept the oshiruko. Once Otsuru makes an offer, she refuses to take no for an answer."
"Man, she can be pretty scary," Luffy commented.
Gintoki sweatdropped. "You think that's something, you should see what she's like when Granny sends her to collect rent."
Tamako was now sitting outside with the bowl of red bean soup in hand, sitting between Gintoki and Luffy. She made no move to eat it, simply staring down at the reddish-brown porridge. Zoro broke the silence. "How long do you plan on just staring at it?"
Luffy tried to encourage her. "You should have some. It's your birthday, after all." But Tamako made no move, still feeling that she had not done anything to deserve such a treat.
Gintoki sighed. "Well, look, if you're not gonna eat it, then I'll take it."
"Are you kidding me right now?" Zoro gritted his teeth.
"What? She clearly doesn't want it. No sense in letting it go to waste. Besides, I still haven't gotten my necessary intake of sweets today." Gin reasoned as he reached a hand out towards the bowl. Seeing her precious treat about to be swiped, Tamako quickly raised the bowl to her mouth and took a big slurp of soup. Silence fell again as the trio of men waited for her response. Finally, a large grin split her face as tears of pure joy rolled down.
"YUMMY! It's so good! I never knew food could be this tasty!"
Gintoki sat back down. "There, now aren't you glad you tried it?"
"Yes!" Tamako agreed. Luffy and Zoro grinned, finally seeing through Gintoki's little ruse. Luffy's smile vanished as another thought hit him.
"Tamako, is this your first time having this stuff?"
"Yeah, it is! But don't worry! Usually, for my birthdays, I always get something sweet when Big Bro Gin buys too much candy, so he'll usually give the extra stuff to me!" Tamako smiled as she continued enjoying her oshiruko. The two looked back up at the perm head, finishing off the last of his dango without a care in the world.
"It's too bad Master isn't here to enjoy this with me!" Suddenly, her chipper mood turned downcast as she thought of someone else she wished to share her birthday present with, someone whom she would never be able to now.
"Tamako?" Luffy grew concerned again at his friend's sudden shift in demeanor.
"Big Bro Luffy…what you said before about Ace…it's really true, isn't it? About him being gone?"
Gintoki's brow furrowed lightly. Zoro clenched his fist tightly, not expecting to hear the name of Luffy's brother here. He wasn't sure how Ace and this girl were connected, but clearly they were close if Luffy told her about his fate – another reminder of his greatest failure to his captain. Luffy maintained his same furrowed expression. "Yes, it is. Ace is gone. Nose Gramps told me about what Ace did for your village. It made me happy to hear that you two were friends. That's why I told you. You deserved to know the truth."
Tamako lowered her head. "...Thank you. I'm sorry for being so mean to you earlier and calling you a liar. It's just…he promised we would see each other again."
"But now you won't, and that's just something you'll have to learn to live with," Gintoki interjected, turning all focus onto him again. His words hit hard, and his intense gaze made it clear that he meant business. It was like a switch had been flipped, and the crude man from earlier had transformed into a whole new figure, someone wiser and more powerful. "The only question is, how will you choose to live from now on?"
"What do you mean?" Tamako asked, tears still rolling down her face.
Gintoki stopped to think for a moment before finally answering. "When a person is dead, they're dead. Yet their impact on us remains. They leave behind a part of themselves that becomes a part of us - a piece of their essence that's imprinted on our lives, our memories, and our very souls. You always talk about this Ace guy whenever you come over, so it's clear how much you two meant to each other. So do you believe that the Ace you know would want you to shed tears over him, today of all days?" A small gasp escaped from Tamako, hanging on his every word. Gintoki looked up at the sky.
"Mourning for those you care about is natural, but you can't afford to shed tears forever. As you grow up, you learn that there are things so sad that no amount of tears will wash them away. That there are painful memories that are too important to be washed away. That's why the truly strong laugh when they want to cry. Right now, there's nothing wrong with wanting to cry when you want to, but someday, you'll have to learn to become strong like that. After all, you still want to become an impressive kunoichi, right?" Gintoki finished, looking back down at the girl with a small smile. Tamako was silent for a few moments, staring at her oshiruko before finally giving her answer.
"..it was bewitching," she whispered.
"Hm?"
She raised her voice. "I promised Ace that I would be a bewitching kunoichi one day. Even if the next time we meet won't be until the day I die, too, I still want to show him that I did it. That even if I couldn't show him in this life, I still kept my promise to him." She looked back up at Gin, smiling wide again. "So I'll do it! I'll become the most famous, most knock-out ninja in all of Wano! So then Ace will be extra proud of me!" With that, Tamako returned to her oshiruko, consuming it with a newfound gusto.
Luffy just sat there breathless. He knew the words the silver-haired man uttered were not meant for him at that moment, but they touched him deeply all the same. He thought about Ace in a way that he had not thought about in a long time. He thought about how he wanted to achieve his dreams, not just to make himself or Shanks proud but to make Ace proud as well. Luffy smiled as he looked up to the sky, caressing his hat.
"Not bad." Zoro thought to himself as he took in the scene before him, a small smile forming on his face. "Sakata Gintoki, you may not carry yourself in the same way as most samurai, but maybe there's more to you than just what's on the surface."
Luffy suddenly had another thought cross his mind as he watched Tamako eat the mochi in her soup. "By the way, I was wondering. Why don't you just eat the dango you made from your cheek?"
"Oh, they don't actually fill your stomach. I remember this one time when Big Bro Gin was out of money to buy sweets, so he had me pull out a bunch of them and cover them in syrup just to get his daily sugar intake, but it didn't work."
…
…
…
Kagura, finally tired from playing, stepped in on the conversation. "It's true. And then, when Gin-chan realized that they don't actually feed you, he made her make a whole bunch more just to sell off to the crowds in Kabuki-chō and Bakura-chō so that the suckers would keep coming back for more and wasting their money since they were still hungry-aru."
"Hey, it wasn't that bad! I at least let her keep 50%!" Gintoki, who had been breaking out into a nervous sweat this whole time, finally intervened to defend himself.
"No you didn't-aru. You said you gave her 50 when you really split it 40-60. Then, when Shinpachi and I caught you red-handed, you tried to weasel out of it by saying you'd make back 100% plus interest, then just blew it all at the horse track with Madao."
"Never mind, he's just trash." Zoro mentally kicked himself for getting his hopes up with this jackass.
After Tamako finished the last of her soup, she fell asleep in Kiku's lap. "There are children just like her all over Wano," Tsuru said sadly, gazing at the sleeping girl.
Luffy just stared out towards the street, his aggravation clear for all to see. "There are more poor little kids like her who are unable to eat a decent meal?! When you're grown-up, you can at least stomach poison!"
"Yeah! Don't worry. Once she gets bigger, I'll be sure to teach her how." Kagura fist-pumped.
"Uh, no, you can't. That only applies to you two freaks and whatever the hell your stomachs are made out of." Gintoki pointed out. Luffy just continued.
"But between the sea, the mountains, and the forest, you should all have access to plenty of food!"
"Yeah…if only we didn't ruin them ourselves." Otose lamented, joining the group outside.
Tsuru smiled. "You boys are really nice. I'm glad I got the chance to meet you. I've only been with Snack Otose a few months after my first tea shop was shut down, and Kiku even less than that."
"You said before you were living in Okobore-chō, the town we passed through to get here. Why is it called that?" Zoro wondered.
"It's quite literal. Everyone in Okobore-chō lives off the scraps of the neighboring town of government officials, Bakura-chō. Kabuki-chō acts as a sort of border between the two."
Luffy turned to her. "Tamako said there was a place somewhere you could get food without poison."
Tsuru nodded before pointing at a nearby mountain. "Do you see that mountain without the smokestacks? 20 years ago, right there at the peak, there once stood a building known as Oden Castle."
"Oden? I know I've heard that name before…but where?" Luffy put his finger to his head, straining his memories.
"Until 20 years ago, the Land of Wano had been ruled by the Kozuki Clan. Oden created Paradise Farms at the foot of the mountain to provide the people of Kuri with a steady supply of healthy food and water, a supply now firmly under Orochi's thumb. Most of it goes to either Bakura-chō or the Flower Capital, with Kabuki-chō receiving the bare minimum. But Okobore-chō? They can only hope to buy the rotten scraps of whatever the officials don't finish, barely enough to get by." Otose explained.
Without warning, Zoro and Gintoki stood up, weapons drawn. In the blink of an eye, the two shattered a pair of arrows aimed at Tsuru and Otose, respectively. Had the arrows been allowed to make contact, the women would have been hit right in their foreheads.
"Keekeekeekee…I heard you two! You bad-mouthing the shogun?! Don't deny it! My hearing is six times stronger than a human's!" The group looked up to the sky, spotting a short man with bat wings sprouting out of his back armed with a bow.
Zoro drew his other sword. "Fine, so you heard it…Is that a reason to take their lives?!"
"Otsuru! Otose! It's good that you're safe!" Kiku rushed over to the two older women, who were more than a little shaken.
"As long as you live clean and smart, you won't get in trouble. But if there's one thing Orochi-sama doesn't suffer, it's rebellious ideas! You'd better watch your back! We're on the hunt for thieves at the moment! Food's been stolen from the farm over the last few weeks…that wouldn't happen to be you ronin, would it?!"
Bat-Man drew more arrows, rapidly firing down on the group. Kagura protected the women using her umbrella as a shield. At the same time, the combination of Luffy, Zoro, and Gintoki shattered the hailstorm of arrows raining down with a series of Haki-coated punches and slashes. By the end of the barrage, there was not a single scratch on anyone; the only damage done was to the ground and Snack Otose.
"Who are you?! You blocked all my arrows!" Bat-Man grunted until recognition dawned on him. "Wait! A one-eyed ronin…I've seen your wanted poster in town…" Bat-Man surveyed the scene below before flinching as a pair of maroon eyes locked on to him.
During this whole time, Gin had remained silent. While by now he would've been screaming at the gifter about suing his ass for repairs on his office space, the pirate had made a fatal mistake. He aimed at Granny - the woman he swore to protect on her husband's grave. He intended to kill her right in front of him. He prepared to swat the annoying bastard out of the sky himself until a new disaster broke his concentration.
"AAAH! Who the heck are you?!" Tamako cried out as a speeding blur snatched her out of her resting place.
"Huh?" The trio turned as the young girl was whisked away by a tall man with gazelle hooves and horns on his head.
"Tamako!" Luffy and Kagura yelled.
"AAH! Help me, Big Bro, Big Sis!"
"Hohohoho…They can't catch me! I run at 200 kilometers per hour!" Gazelle-man gloated as he sped away. Zoro and Gintoki gritted their teeth. They were so focused on the one enemy that they didn't spread out their Haki to check for others. That was sloppy of them.
"Tamako-chan! Damn, he's too fast…Take me to her, Komainu!" Kiku shouted at the massive dog as she quickly grabbed a katana from inside and hopped on his back in pursuit.
"She just took a katana," Zoro noted.
Tsuru could only gasp. "She said she could use a sword, but I've never seen it myself!"
Luffy stretched out his arm, grabbing onto Komachiyo's mane. "Wait, dog! Take me with you!"
"Hey, me too!" Zoro grabbed onto Luffy's shoulder before Kagura latched on to his.
"Me and Gin-chan are coming too-aru! Sadaharu, stay back and protect Granny and the others!" she shouted back at her pet as she gripped Gintoki's sleeve.
"Arf!" He barked in confirmation.
"Wait, hold on, let me just ride Sadah–AAAHH!" He screamed as Luffy dragged the group of four through the air at high velocity before landing on the Komainu's back. Gintoki had a less-than-perfect landing as he smacked down face-first. "Hey! Don't fling me around like that! Do you want me to throw up?! I'll puke in your hat, you rubber brat!"
"Leave my hat alone, you perm jerk!"
Kiku turned to see her new passengers. "Luffytaro-san! Zorojuro-san! Kagura-chan! Gin-san!"
Zoro approached her. "Why are they going after the kid?!"
"It's not clear, but we have to get her back!"
"Keekeekeekee! I won't let you!" The bat SMILE user cackled as he shot another volley of arrows. Komachiyo dodged the first set but was nicked by the second, covering the group in a thick cloud of dust.
Zoro growled. "They totally planned this abduction!"
"Get out of our way!" Luffy flung himself up through the dust cloud, colliding a Haki-infused punch directly with Bat-Man's arms. The rubber man was certainly stronger, but it wouldn't be long before gravity took over, and he would fall to the ground, but not before he riddled him with arrows. That's what Bat-Man thought until he saw Gintoki leap up from behind Luffy, who had been gripping onto the back of his shirt as the pirate captain flung himself skyward.
"And what are you grinning about, bastard?" Gintoki grinned sadistically at the gifter. His eyes bugged out in terror as the silver-headed samurai brought his Haki-coated bokutō down on his head, smashing him straight down and creating a new Bat-Man-shaped crater in the ground. The samurai and the pirate descended back down, landing perfectly on Komachiyo's back.
"Great job, now we can focus on rescuing Tamako. It's clear that their destination is Bakura-chō." Kiku said as she pulled out a notebook from her kimono. "There are three headliners in that area now: Hawkins, Holdem, and Speed, and roughly thirty warriors with SMILE fruit powers."
Zoro paused at the sudden change in the waitress, who, up until a while ago, seemed as if she couldn't hurt a fly. Now, she carried the aura of a warrior. "Who are you? Really?"
Kiku responded as she tied back her long hair. "This one is a samurai! Gentlemen, Kagura-chan, up ahead is the town of officials and pirates…We must charge right in!"
"Let's go!" Luffy and Zoro grinned viciously, ready to tear apart some enemies. They needed the work-out after all. Kagura also brought out her umbrella, ready to raise some hell.
"Oi, oi, are you guys actually smiling? Crap, why do I feel like meeting you two is just gonna give me a worse headache than the hangover?" Gintoki grimaced.
Back in the wastelands, Hawkins and his remaining men were preparing to ride back to Bakura-chō with their report. Hawkins called in ahead to one of his other allies. The smail continued to ring until its recipient picked up the call. Its appearance changed, adopting teal hair, a pair of headphones, and sunglasses.
"Hawkins-san, what can I do for you?"
"I'm calling to report that intruders have–" the headliner was interrupted as pop music blared out from the other end of the smail.
"Ah, sorry about that. You caught me just as I was in the middle of reviewing Otsu-chan's newest single, 'Your Grandpa Is Wearing Your Bra.' It's pretty good, though it needs a few tweaks here and there. I'm thinking that I'll be reaching out to Uta-chan and her producer soon, see if we can't set up a collaboration—"
"Bansai-san, please! This is an important matter!" Hawkins interrupted the man before he could delve further into this pointless topic. Honestly, why a known terrorist would take a side job working as a music producer was beyond his understanding. Though this was in due part to the fact that he didn't really care for Wano's rising hit singer and her strange taste in lyricism, even if she was cute. Whether or not she should collaborate with Uta-sama — He was getting distracted.
"I'm reporting that we have intruders that have illegally entered Wano: Straw Hat Luffy and Pirate Hunter Zoro of the Straw Hat Pirates. Chances are the rest of the crew may not be far behind, assuming they have not already infiltrated the country. I am on my way to Bakura-chō to report this to headliners Holdem and Speed." The voice on the other side paused momentarily as he absorbed the information from Hawkins.
"I see. So, other members of the Worst Generation have finally arrived. This is serious. I'll be sure to pass the message along to the higher-ups." Bansai stated. He was preparing to hang up when he decided to pass along one last message to his cohort. "Hawkins-san, I know I do not need to tell you of all people to not underestimate the Straw Hats, so just remember: should you require assistance in hunting down these rats, you have the support of the Kiheitai."
"Understood."
Click
So yeah, this one came out a little longer than usual, but there was a lot I wanted to do with this chapter, and I was excited that I finally got to start writing Gintoki and Luffy together!
You can probably guess just what Tama was a prototype for.
You have no idea how long I've been waiting to make that Katapermi joke lol.
And all of this was just working off the framework of one chapter. Next up, we got the Tamako Rescue Mission in full swing!