1/2
It had been quite a while since he had brought someone new here. After all, inviting somebody into one's safe space always felt like a huge risk, especially for Nuke.
Yet, after a year of knowing him, he had decided that Fletcher Renn was the type of bloke one could trust with most things. And in fact, he felt that this might be one of those mutually beneficial activities, Diamond kept going on about.
"Welcome to Cordial's!" Nuke casually announced, as they walked inside.
Fletcher curiously looked around, at the old but clean pub interior.
He looked just as surprised as Nuke had been, walking in for the first time, at how large the pub truly was. From the outside, it looked like a simple hole-in-the-wall establishment, with a small fish-and-chips serving window facing the street. Yet, once Cordial had invited someone inside, they could spot the hidden area that was nestled into the back, around the corner from the windows.
A small wooden bar was situated to the right, and more seating opportunities had been set up to the left. Most of the tables were covered by random stickers and flyers that patrons had added to the growing collection over many years. This was as intentional as the randomness of the decoration, and the various types of sorcerers who frequented this pub.
As there was no one occupying the line of bar stools, Nuke took Fletcher there, and they picked two chairs along the center of the counter.
"See there, you've brought a new face!" a shaky but cheerful voice proclaimed close-by, the moment they had sat down.
They turned around and spotted an old man, standing right behind them.
The man looked to be in his mid to late seventies, his hair had greyed to a starch white and it was slightly fuzzy from a lack of proper care. His face was marked by deep and plentiful wrinkles, especially where his laughter lines were.
He had clearly been an attractive young man once, with a square head structure and a strong build. Yet his features had softened with time, and his body today was riddled by arthritis.
The old man was carrying a drink in each of his wrinkly hands; one cup of orange soda and one cup of cola.
"Hi, Cordial!" Nuke grinned and gestured at the newcomer beside him. "This is Fletcher, I thought he might like this place. Fletcher; this is Cordial. He owns the joint."
"Oh, hi," Fletcher surprisedly said. His first instinct seemed to be to hold out his hand for a respectful greeting, but then he remembered that Cordial's hands were full of the drinks he was carrying. His hand briefly rose up and then awkwardly sunk back down to the counter.
"Hello, Fletcher! Always happy to meet more of Nuke's friends," Cordial cheerfully greeted him and set the cola down in front of him. He held out his hand, and Fletcher looked relieved to be able to shake it. "First drink on the house?" he asked as they let go.
Fletcher frowned at the cup he had been assigned. "Sorry, but... I don't think I ordered that?"
Nuke secretively chuckled.
Cordial brightly beamed. "But this is the drink you wanted, yes?" he asked, although he clearly knew the answer.
"Umm," Fletcher confusedly realized, "yeah, I guess, now that im looking at it...?"
"Don't you worry, lad," the bar owner warmly told him. "In this place, you won't ever have to order anything, or talk to anyone, unless you want to."
With that, Cordial handed Nuke his orange soda, and waddled off towards a different table.
Fletcher confusedly looked at his mate beside him. "Explain?"
Nuke had been having a great time observing him be puzzled at everything, and he was almost sad to unravel the mystery.
"Cordial is a Sensitive who specializes in reading people's needs and desires," Nuke explained regardless. "He knew what drink you wanted, the second you walked in here."
"Oh," Fletcher understood, "that's pretty cool. He must be centuries old! Millenia even!"
Nuke pretended not to know what he was talking about. "What makes you think that?"
He hesitated. "Well, he's... You know..."
"Ancient-looking?" Cordial asked right beside him.
Fletcher first jumped in shock, and then cringed with embarrassment, "oh, umm... I'm sorry...?"
Nuke and Cordial both laughed at him.
"Oh, lad, I have a mirror at home," Cordial chuckled as he waved away the apology. "It's quite hard to miss, isn't it? An old geezer amongst all these handsome young sorcerers? Makes me stand out."
"So... Would it be rude if I asked how old you are?" Fletcher was obviously itching to know.
"Not rude at all! But I must disappoint you, my friend, I don't have the wisdom of millenia to share with you. I'm a meek one-hundred-and-sixty years old."
They enjoyed another moment of Fletcher being visibly confused, and maybe a bit disappointed indeed. "Oh," he said.
"And now, you would like to know why I look like I haven't used magic in sixty years?" Cordial knowingly infered.
"Yeah," Fletcher awkwardly admitted.
"Because that's what I did! I spent sixty years of my life in Coldheart Prison."
He looked like he didn't know how to react to that. "Ah, okay. Makes sense. Your magic gets bound there, right?"
"Exactly! Before I built this joint, I used to use my talents to scam people, you see? Some of those scams... got a little out of hand. And while I was sitting off my time in prison, I realised that, by the time I was going to come out, I would be an old man. And in the end, I had fulfilled most everyone else's desires. But in the meantime, I had never asked myself what I truly desired... You get me?"
Fletcher nodded, as he looked a bit relieved at this summary. "And you decided that you wanted to own a pub?"
"Not just any pub!" Nuke chimed in with importance, "a pub where you can be anyone, from anywhere, with any background. And everyone leaves each other in peace."
"As well as a place where people would leave me in peace too, I suppose," Cordial bemusedly added.
"Kind of like... The Midnight Hotel?" Fletcher suggested.
"Sort of, yes!" Cordial agreed, "that was one of my inspirations along the way. However, the Midnight Hotel was protected by the magic of its building and its owner. My pub and its owner are protected by the magic of our patrons."
His brow rose with a hint of unease. "By sapping our magic while we're in the room?"
"By trusting that, when push comes to shove, sorcerers like our good friend Nuke The Bomb here, will cover my wrinkly butt."
Fletcher amusedly snorted. "Gotcha."
"I've got your wrinkly butt, mate," Nuke smirked.
"Amazing!" Cordial happily patted his shoulder and waddled off again. This time, he disappeared behind the back door that led to his kitchen.
After his departure, a moment of quiet developed between the remaining two men, during which they tried to think of something else to talk about.
"How's Betty?" Nuke decided to ask. "I haven't seen her since last Christmas."
"Hmm, Betty is okay I think. She has been a bit distant lately. I sometimes wonder..." Fletcher hesitated.
"You wonder what?" Nuke encouraged.
Fletcher sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if she wants me to, you know... Sweep her off her feet? Make things official...?"
"Right..." he slowly nodded in understanding. "Do you want to make things official?"
Fletcher sighed again and helplessly shrugged. "I do like her, she's super cool... To be honest, my gut is telling me, no...? But then, my gut isn't always the best at judging these things... I feel like maybe I'm just being paranoid."
Nuke made a contrite face at the unspoken innuendos. "Right... Well, I hate to say it, but... I'm probably the worst person to ask. I've never even had a girlfriend before."
He surprisedly raised a brow at him. "Really? Never?"
"Well, I mean... I've had a couple of highschool flings. I did call them my girlfriend at the time, but... Would you consider three weeks of summer break with Sally Sunderland an actual relationship?"
Fletcher bemusedly snorted. "I guess you should ask Sally Sunderland that."
Nuke snorted as well, and another moment of silence passed.
"So, umm..." Fletcher eventually addressed, and did a mediocre job of hiding his intrigue. "Are you still hanging out with Valkyrie alot?"
"Sometimes, yeah. I see more of Skulduggery, though."
He didn't seem to have expected that reply, "really? And you get on? He doesn't treat you like a doormat?"
Nuke nonchalantly shrugged. "We get on well enough, I guess... And no, he's usually nice to me. Sometimes, I think, I push his buttons...? But he knows that I'm not doing it on purpose."
"See, I just don't get that. How did you manage it?" Fletcher pressed with a faint sense of awe. "How did you get Skulduggery to like you? I've been trying to earn an inch of respect from that man for over a decade now, but he only seems to respect me less with each year. Yet for some reason, he liked you instantly!"
Nuke bemusedly snorted at him. "You can't compare us like that. Our situations are totally different."
"Oh, are they?" Fletcher challenged. "A long time ago, Valkyrie and Skulduggery had to save my arse because of my magic, too, you know? You didn't invent that wheel, that's kind of a thing they do."
Nuke chuckled with faint disbelief. "Yeah, but you've dated Valkyrie, haven't you? I mean, for how long did you know Skulduggery, before you started flirting with his quasi daughter?"
Fletcher pulled a thoughtful and admitting grimace. "Like... Ten minutes?"
"There you go," he nodded, "that's your problem right there."
"But that was ages ago! Also, we broke up because she cheated on me, not the other way around. Besides, who can blame me? Valkyrie is hot."
"I can see that, but that's besides the point right now. What I'm saying is; you were the boyfriend of Skulduggery's partner, so you were trying to win his approval. But he is the boyfriend of my partner so, now, Skulduggery is trying to win my approval. Like I said; totally different situations."
Fletcher blinked at him in surprise. "Hold up. What are you...? Are you saying... Skulduggery and Diamond...?"
Nuke mirrored his look of surprise. "Ummm, yes? Weren't you with us, when they just started dating...? During that whole Bax Hench sting operation thing, a year ago. Like... am I the only one that thought, they were being super obvious about it?"
Fletcher's eyes widened and his jaw dropped further and further, as his mind raced through his various memories of that time.
"Oh, wow..." he eventually murmured in awe, "that makes so much sense now..."
"So, yeah... Don't you dare complain to me, mate," Nuke exasperatedly told him. "I mean, whenever you get annoyed with Skulduggery, what do you do at the end of the day?"
"I try to go home, I guess? Or somewhere else nice?"
"Exactly! You just teleport away, and off you go, on your merry way. But if I get annoyed with him...? I go to bed, I get up the next morning, and he's still there!"
Fletcher was clearly beginning to find great entertainment in Nuke's rant, as he made an obvious effort to hide a grin.
"And then, I have to eat breakfast with him!" Nuke continued, "do you have any idea how depressing it is, to eat breakfast with Skulduggery on the regular?!"
Fletcher covered his mouth with one hand and stifled some obvious chuckles of amusement.
"He just sits there! And talks to Diamond whenever she doesn't have her mouth full! Before my first cup of coffee, I can't even string a single coherent thought together. And there those two are; having deep conversations about world politics, at six in the morning! I mean, who does that?!"
Fletcher burst out laughing.
"See?" Nuke sharply gestured at him, although admittedly, he was beginning to get infected by his laughter. "You think it's funny, because you don't know the pain!"
"I'm so sorry," Fletcher pretended to apologize, but he made no efforts to stop laughing, "I would never try to... ridicule your pain!"
"Trust me, mate, you don't want Skulduggery to try and win your approval. He gets all weird and... and clingy!"
At this point, Nuke was pleased to see that he was fueling his mate's laughter. He smugly crossed his arms and decided to leave it at that.
"Okay, I think I can imagine it now..." Fletcher chuckled and tried to calm down. "I already feel much better about myself, thanks."
"Cool, at least one of us can benefit from that..."
"So, why do you put up with them?" Fletcher wanted to know when his laughter had mostly subsided. "Why don't you get your own place?"
Nuke sharply sighed, as his humour at the topic faded away in an instant.
This must have been quite obvious, as Fletcher blinked and suddenly looked uncertain. "Oh, sorry. Did I say something wrong again?"
Nuke tried to shrug it off. "Nah, it's fine... I guess, there are just some things that I have to live with... Now that my true name is sort of public, and all? Right now, only Dye and I know it, but that can change any day, you know..."
Fletcher's face contorted to an equally awkward and sympathetic expression, "right..."
"Skulduggery is helping with my training and the planning and so on... And living on my own isn't really an option for me anymore, so..."
"Makes sense...?"
"Besides, they're not actually all that bad. I like living with Diamond, and they try their best to give me my space... As much as they can, I guess. Also, I have no idea how I've ever survived before, without Dye's freezer casseroles! Have you ever tried one of those things?"
Fletcher uneasily smiled. "So, in summary... That was an incredibly dumb question to ask you?"
Despite the sinking feelings that had suddenly began to churn in his gut, Nuke found himself smirking. "Just a bit dumb, yeah."
"I'm sorry, I'm embarrassed to admit... I sometimes forget. When I saw what happened at the sanctuary back then, I didn't know you yet. And now that I do, I'd say you're a good person, so... I guess, it's hard for me to connect you to... That."
Nuke slimly smiled and gestured at the pub around them. "This is one of the only places where I ever forget. I'm almost untouchable here. If anyone walked in with bad intentions, Cordial would know right away."
Fletcher looked a bit skeptical now, "and Cordial will be the one to kick them out?"
"Nope, everyone else will kick them out. What Cordial says, goes. If anyone isn't welcome, they have a bar full of annoyed loner sorcerers to worry about, whose evening they've just ruined."
"So, if Cordial walked in right now, and said, 'everyone stand up and hop on one leg'... Everyone would do it?"
"Yup, no questions asked."
"But... Why?"
Nuke snorted. "Mate, Cordial can read people's desires. And he's really good at getting them what they want, too. Every single regular in here owes him about a dozen favors, on average. Following the rules of the house...? That's the bare minimum all of us can do in return."
Fletcher looked impressed and curious at that explanation. "And how many favors do you owe him?"
"More than one."
"What's the biggest favor he's ever done for you?"
Nuke thought about it. Then he grinned, as the door of the pub opened, and a familiar figure walked inside.
"He introduced me to that turnip, right over there!"
Fletcher frowned and turned around, in order to look at whoever had just walked in. He froze up as he spotted the faceless man, headed straight in their direction.
"Hello, boys." Nobody said as he stopped by their bar stools.
"Umm, hi, umm... Nobody..." Fletcher uneasily stammered. He was making an obvious effort not to stare at their missing face, as it refused to move along to their voice in any way.
"Sup, mate," Nuke said, "I was just telling Fletcher about Cordial's favors."
"Oh yes," Nobody nodded. Their head moved up and down, but their face continued to stay just as it was. "I might be his greatest benefactor."
"I wouldn't be surprised," Nuke agreed and then asked, "how was your trip to Romania?"
"Honestly...?" Nobody unimpressively replied, "boring. Let's go home and take care of business, before I change my mind and decide to do something more... fun."
Nuke importantly nodded, "duly noted." He turned to Fletcher. "Hey, I've got some stuff to do. Can I leave you alone with Cordial?"
Fletcher smirked at the idea of another chat with the cheerful pub owner. "I'm good here, see you later."
Nuke hopped off his bar stool and waved as he walked away. Nobody wordlessly nodded to Fletcher and followed Nuke outside.
"You're all chummy with Fletcher Renn now, are you?" Nobody asked.
Nuke shot him a look. "Don't be jealous. You can't be my only mate forever."
"Yes I can. And I'm not jealous of Renn. If anything, he should be jealous of me; I've got the girl."
"Uh-huh, right. And you definitely aren't shitting bricks right now either, cause we're about to cuff you?"
"Oh shut up, boom-box."
"Turnip."
"Fart-head."
Nuke smirked. "Welcome back, pal."
Although their blank face still didn't move, he could tell that Nobody was smiling. "It's good to be back."