2/2
A familiar sound penetrated the thick walls of Grimwood Place. It was the humming engine of a motorcycle, which was soon switched off, directly followed by a friendly honk.
Xena excitedly squeak-barked, jumped up from her dog bed, and scurried out of the office. Valkyrie beamed, set aside her boring paperwork, jumped up from her desk, and followed close behind.
Once downstairs, Valkyrie ripped open the door and opened her mouth, in order to greet the newcomer. They had already climbed off their white Yamaha, and were on their way up the driveway.
Naturally, Xena was faster than Valkyrie. She snaked her way outside, in between Valkyrie's legs and the door. A moment later, she was jumping their visitor and attacking his face with wet dog kisses.
Alex Pluto laughed and had to stumble a couple of steps backwards, in order to hold their balance. "Easy, girl! Yes, yes, I'm very excited to see you too. Do I get to say hi to mommy first, one of these days?"
Valkyrie pretended to be apologetic. "Xena always gets first turn, you know that."
"Uh-huh?!" Alex's face crunched up and his neck uncomfortably craned, as his chin was being covered in dog slobber.
Valkyrie amusedly watched for a moment longer. When she saw his left hand begin to strain on the handle of his walking cane, she decisively snapped her fingers.
"Okay, that's enough now. Down, Xena. There's a good girl."
Xena got off Alex and pitter-pattered alongside him, happily staring up at him, tongue hanging out to a goofy doggy-grin. He attempted to wipe his face clean, and they headed towards Valkyrie together.
Alex was wearing one of his favorite combos; scuffed denim jeans, a plain cotton tee, an understated biker jacket, as well as boots that were wide enough to fit his magic-binding cuff inside.
He was walking on two feet, but Valkyrie knew that one of those legs was, in part, a high-tech prosthetic. Even still, he was using his cane to support his left side, and thus only his right hand came up to cradle her waist, as she gave him a greeting kiss.
"Hi, Super-Spy," Valkyrie grinned and used her shirt sleeve to wipe the remaining dog slobber off his chin.
Alex smirked. "Hi, Saver of Worlds."
She had missed that smirk. It had something knowing in it, like they could see right through her, but didn't care in the slightest about what they saw.
This mission hadn't nearly been the longest Nobody had set out on, during their time together thus far. But the longer Valkyrie knew them, the longer those missions felt.
Having had a real chance to get to know the remarkably average-looking guy behind the faceless mask - or the Callus, as he called it - had turned out to be an unexpected pleasure. But unsurprisingly so, Alex Pluto had proven themselves to be more than a mysterious fluid-gender amputee with an interesting job description.
Valkyrie had spent enough time with Alex to know that they weren't easily summed up. Their charm was only somewhat deliberate, their silence was strategic, and the way they deflected questions was almost an art form. They gave just enough away to keep her interested, but never enough to fully satisfy her curiosity. It was a game she wasn't sure they even realized they were playing.
Alex's greatest passion was deep space. This shouldn't have been a surprise to her, Valkyrie had gathered, judging by his choice of surname. Although she hadn't expected of him to be able to give her actual lectures on the topic.
Once in a while, they visited the observatory together, or rode their bikes to a dark hilltop during a starry night. And she was always astonished by how much Alex knew about planets, and black holes, and gas giants, and the confounding science around them. He could easily identify any constellation or body of space with a single glance, and he kept a big telescope by the bay window of his apartment for such purposes. Valkyrie had then learned how much fun it was to chat with someone about the universe, while staring at the universe through a giant star magnifier.
It seemed ridiculous, in those moments, to consider that they weren't actually a couple. But then, whenever he went away for work, and they didn't see each other for months at a time, this reality became all too clear again.
Most of all, Valkyrie had to admit, she often missed the corresponding playful knowing smile of the cute brunette woman. As she was the closest persona to the real Alex one could get, whenever they were in callus, Valkyrie had secretively begun to call her Girl-Alex.
It was a rare treat, for Girl-Alex to come for a visit, and Nobody often presented as an entirely different woman. Valkyrie assumed, they did this in order to impress her with more traditionally attractive bodies and faces. She tried not to judge the personas that Nobody happened to be in the mood for, on whichever day they happened to be swinging by. But despite her best intentions of objectivity; the memories of her short times spent with the unremarkable-looking but wholly adorable Girl-Alex, Valkyrie counted to some of their best ones.
Valkyrie was quite aware that their original personality was buried beneath many layers of magic, whenever Nobody presented as a woman. As Alex had previously divulged to her, it wasn't easy to spot him through the various illusions and changing personalities. And yet, she could sometimes swear that the female version of Alex was even more in touch with herself, than the male version of him.
"When did you get back?" Valkyrie asked as she gave him a quick once-over.
He seemed a little tired, now that she was taking a closer look. And yet, the smirk prevailed. "A couple of days ago."
She raised a surprised brow, "really? You don't usually come out of your cave for... at least a week."
The smirk deepened. "I guess I just couldn't wait to see you."
Valkyrie happily chuckled, took the hand that was resting on her waist, and pulled him into the house.
Meanwhile, Xena remained by Alex's side. This was something she tended to do, whenever he came by for a visit. The loyal German Shepherd normally didn't stray far from her owner and was protective over Valkyrie more than anyone. Yet, something about Alex seemed to make Xena hyper-aware of his every move. Valkyrie assumed; he was awakening her inner Service Dog.
As he walked with her, Valkyrie noticed a serious limp in his step. Usually, Alex seemed to mostly pretend to walk on his cane. He merely moved it along to his prosthetic leg, or rested his hand on it like it was a portable arm rest. Today, however, he seemed to actually be using it.
"How was the transition?" she asked, as they arrived in her lavish entrance hall.
Alex agreeably puckered their lips. They scratched Xena behind the ears and softly leaned against her, as she stood flush to their right leg for support. "Pretty smooth."
Valkyrie teasingly smirked. "Nuke didn't need to drag you home by the collar?"
They snorted. "Nah, when I stick to my system, things usually go our way."
As this was a topic they seldom addressed in detail, the reply spiked her curiosity. "Your system," she echoed, "by which you mean... the schedule for your medical leaves?"
"That too, yes..." Alex slowly confirmed. "Staying on schedule is the first step, I suppose..."
"And what are the next steps?" Valkyrie carefully pressed.
"The next step is my mission assignment. When China sends me my key and my orders, I study the files before unlocking my cuff. And once I'm in callus, all I ever focus on is that specific mission."
She slowly nodded along to their logic. "Makes sense. And once the mission is completed?"
"Once it's completed... I have one more mission. That one is always the same, every single time."
"And that is...?"
This time, Alex shot out his reply, as though he had practiced it in the mirror a thousand times. "Go to Cordial's. Call Nuke."
Valkyrie teasingly grinned, "that's too cute."
Alex rolled his eyes, but with very little conviction, "oh shut up."
"No but seriously," she tried to salvage it, "I'm glad that you've got someone to come home to. I don't think I'd be reliable enough."
"Before Nuke, it used to be Wanda," he mentioned, "but I think she's happy to focus on the strictly medical aspects of her job. So, from where I stand...? There's nothing wrong with doing your part, and no more than that."
Valkyrie found herself smirking again. "And what's my part?"
He elegantly limped closer. "You just look all pretty and strong, for when I come back to you."
She snorted, "but that's way too easy!"
As Alex arrived in front of her, they approvingly looked her up and down. "You might think it's easy, yes, because being strong and pretty is basically second nature to you... But that's just what makes it the perfect job."
Valkyrie felt, he had earned another kiss for that.
When they parted, Alex's cheeks were a tiny bit flushed. He covered it up with a smirk and brushed a lost strand of hair from her face. "How's the fam?"
"They're grand," she said, and actually meant it. "Alison showed me some fight moves the other day. They weren't half bad!"
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah, looks like I might need to take over soon... Oh, and my dad got a better offer for a job, so he finally quit the one he didn't like."
"About time," Alex bemusedly commented. He subtly shifted around, redistributing his weight further onto his cane.
"You're telling me..." she half-heartedly agreed.
Valkyrie concluded the hallway conversation, by offering up an elbow. Alex looked more flustered yet, but he accepted the gesture and allowed for her to support him on the way to the living room.
"And how's work going?" He asked, as they made their way towards the closest sofa.
"Getting busier, unfortunately," Valkyrie informed him. "So, I might not be around very much."
He raised an interested brow. "Are you still working on the same abduction cases? Has there finally been some development?"
Valkyrie heavily sighed as she plopped onto the sofa. "Yes, which of course only means more questions and more missing people."
Xena stood ready for Alex to use her as a brace. At this point, he was used to this. Yet he always had a secret little smile on his lips that said; 'maybe I should get me one of these.'
With the help of his crutch and her dog, Alex sat down next to Valkyrie. He set the cane aside - upright against the seat cushion next to him - and inquisitively turned around to face her. "Do you know who, or what, is abducting them?"
"Monsters," she shrugged.
"Monsters. That's it?"
"Yup. That's pretty much all we've got to go on right now. Monsters that look like people with their heads burnt out, walking around like puppets and swinging their claw-nails... or nail-claws. And then, poof, they disappear, a person disappears, sometimes several people... No one can remember anything else useful after that."
A brow shot up on Alex's face. "So, they're... Memory-erasing monsters?"
"Either that... Or maybe it's those weird sensitives that have been popping up recently. Someone else might be doing the memory-erasing from the shadows."
"Strike from the shadows, disappear into darkness?" they teased, "sounds like those perpetrators are taking inspiration from the best."
Valkyrie playfully rolled her eyes. "How many Dead Men jokes do you have in your repertoire, exactly?"
Alex pretended to think about it. "As long as I'm dating one...? Infinite amounts, I'm guessing. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be vexing."
Valkyrie amusedly shook her head at them. "Alex Pluto, the person with the universe of infinite personalities and humour at their fingertips... And he chooses to tell his girlfriend dad-jokes."
She didn't receive the reaction of self-ironic laughter she had expected. For some reason that was unknown to Valkyrie, Xena anxiously whimpered.
Meanwhile, Alex frowned at one thing she had said, and then looked stunned about another. "Girlfriend?"
Valkyrie hesitated, and her heart sank. "Umm... Yeah. We've been going out for a year, and you haven't been seeing anyone else, right?"
"Umm... No, I haven't."
"For work purposes, maybe?"
"Nope..."
As Alex continued to look stunned at everything she was saying, Valkyrie grew more uncertain by the sentence. "Neither have I, so... I guess, I've been starting to consider myself your girlfriend. But that doesn't mean you have to consider yourself my boyfriend. Since, you know... You're not into the whole relationship thing... And also, technically... not even a boy?"
Alex stared at her and rapidly blinked, as if they had just phased from reality. They suddenly looked very pale, as well as deeply confused.
Xena alerted her with a bark!
Valkyrie looked at her dog in surprise. Unless there was an unexpected sound on the property, she wasn't the type of dog to bark just for the sake of it. Yet, Xena was visibly on edge as she whimpered, and trudged on the spot, and demandingly nudged Alex's knee with her snout.
This seemed to snap Alex out of his freeze, but not his state of confusion. "Sorry... What did you just say?"
Valkyrie skeptically mustered him. "Are you okay?"
Alex cleared his throat and made an apparent effort to reorient himself in the room. He glanced down at his leg, but not the amputated one; the one with the magic-binding cuff on it. His face tensed up in an effort to conceal a look of deep discomfort, and his right hand looked shaky as it balled to a tight fist.
Xena anxiously huffed, pawed at his arm, and tried to pry his fingers apart with her nose.
"Alex?" Valkyrie pressed as her concern mounted. She reached out for his other hand. "Sorry, did I push too hard? It was just a slip of the tongue. We really don't need to go into it right now."
"No, no, you're good..." Alex thoughtfully murmured. He turned his face away and absentmindedly stared into the distance for a moment. "I'm okay, I think I just... Spaced. Maybe, I did come here a bit too early..."
"Do you want to go back home?" Valkyrie suggested. "I wouldn't be disappointed. I could come with you too, if you like. We can take the car and bring Xena."
Xena agreeably snorted and, as she sat down, she seemed to settle somewhat. Alex glanced at Valkyrie's dog, but not at her owner. His fist opened, in order to rest on the especially soft spot between her ears, and he looked thoughtful for another moment.
Alex ultimately didn't respond to Valkyrie's suggestion. Instead, he gently freed his hand from her grip, in order to search for something inside the inner pockets of his jacket. He pulled out something slim and glassen.
It turned out to be a glass vial with a cork stopper. It was filled up to about three-quarters of its volume, by some thick substance of a strong ultraviolet color.
Alex pulled out the stopper and took a sip from the vial. His face contorted to a grimace of pure disgust. He swallowed regardless; several times in fact. For a moment, he had the look of someone who was about to be sick. But he took a deep deep breath, and as he exhaled it, the look went away.
Alex corked and pocketed the glassen vial. A couple of seconds later, the color returned to their face, and they seemed to be back to their old self. This was, except for the vague look of disgust, which was still playing around their lips.
Xena let out a couple more high-pitched whimpers but, at this point, she seemed to be purging the nervous energy from her system. This was confirmed to Valkyrie, when she shook off the stress a moment later.
"Good girl." Valkyrie praised her.
Xena's tongue came out, and she looked pleased that she had done a good job.
Alex looked impressed by the German Shepherd by his leg. "Did she just alert?"
"Yep! Pretty sure she did!" Valkyrie proudly confirmed.
"Did you train her to do medical alerts?"
"Nope!" She reached out with both hands and enthusiastically ruffled Xena's fur. "She's just such a clever girl! Such a clever clever girl, aren't you just the cleverest, yes you are!"
Xena agreed by happily panting and wagging her tail.
Once the cuddle session was completed, Valkyrie looked at Alex. She raised a brow at them. "So... What was that?"
Judging by how their smirk hung severely lopsided, Alex was extremely unhappy about revealing this to her. "Needed to top up my meds."
Valkyrie wasn't even remotely surprised by this response, "right. Was it something I said?"
"Umm... Yes," they hesitantly admitted.
She severely cringed at herself. "I'm so sorry. Was it the girlfriend thing?"
"Not really, no, but if you wouldn't mind...? I'll take you up on that offer, of not going into it right now."
"Oh, okay, yeah, sure..." she uneasily moved on. "How often do you take those meds?"
Alex vaguely shrugged. "Every few hours, while I'm sober... I'm supposed to take one full vial per day, but after a week or two, I'm usually down to half."
This answer surprised her more. "Really? I've never seen you take them; and almost every time I see you, you're sober."
Alex looked a little awkward now. "Yeah... I don't like to take them in front of most other people. It makes them uncomfortable, or it makes them feel like it's suddenly their responsibility too... And I don't want to deal with either version really." His voice grew more decisive at his last statement. "There are only two people in this world, who get to tell me what to do with my medicine."
Valkyrie slowly nodded. "So, that's why you use the bathroom so often?"
Alex suddenly looked a bit more upbeat, as this observation got a chuckle out of him. "Yeah, that's why. What did you think I was doing?"
She shrugged, "I don't know... I thought maybe you have IBS?"
He laughed. "Sure, my body is a construction site already! Who'd be surprised about some added bowel issues?"
Valkyrie smirked along, but she soon shrugged at one of his previous statements. "If it makes you feel any better...? You could have stopped hiding it months ago. I already kind of assumed that you take medication, and it doesn't make me uncomfortable, and I'd never tell you what to do with it."
Alex pouted impressively, more than surprisedly. "What gave me away, Detective? Other than the mysterious bathroom visits, that is...?"
"Well, you have a healer, right? This Wanda chick, I keep hearing about but never get to meet? Her job must involve more than just... clearing up your work schedule?"
Alex curiously mustered Valkyrie at her phrasing, but they seemed to decide to focus on the topic. "Yes, Wanda also makes my medicine. Arguably, that invention is the biggest accomplishment of her career so far. Some might even say, one of the biggest accomplishments in magical medical history."
"A drug that cures all withdrawal symptoms?"
"Cures them? No," Alex specified. "Keeps them in check? Very much so."
"Right..."
"Some people use it as a one-time treatment, for other things... Going back and forth isn't exactly the healthiest way of living, but... This way, I can enjoy at least some of my downtime."
Valkyrie raised a bemused brow at him. "And you are Wanda's favorite Guinea pig and greatest muse?"
They chuckled, "basically. The first versions were a bit rough on the side-effects. Nowadays, I barely notice it."
"Have you ever asked her for any special adjustments?" Valkyrie was curious to know, "anything that wasn't, you know, strictly necessary?"
Alex smirked and leaned in close. Valkyrie half-expected a kiss. Instead, he breathed a sharp huff of air directly into her face.
Valkyrie first cringed in anticipation, but she quickly relaxed again, as the scent hit her pallet. "Ooh," she approved, "minty!"
"Exactly!" Alex enthusiastically confirmed. "My breath smells of mint; not of rotten egg! Revolutionary, isn't it? By far my favorite adjustment she's ever made."
She grimaced with disgust while nodding with empathetic agreement. "Yeah, that might be my favorite, too. I have been wondering how you manage to always keep your breath so fresh..." Valkyrie paused at a thought, as she remembered the face he had made while swallowing it. "Does it taste like mint?"
"Nope, it still tastes like rotten egg."
Her empathetic grimace deepened, "yikes..."
Alex shrugged. "I'm pretty sure that's by design. Who knows, she might find a solution for that too someday. But until then... You wouldn't happen to have a snack?"
Valkyrie chuckled. "I have plenty of snacks."
They went to the kitchen and selected a couple of snacks. As they chowed down on some salted pretzels, Alex quietly watched Valkyrie for a while. He looked like he was preparing an important statement in his head.
"You don't need to be worried about Wanda, by the way," Alex eventually mentioned. "I realize that my past is riddled by sex, drugs, and deceit? But Wanda and I have never been a thing. Even if we did have any feelings for each other, she would never get involved with a patient."
"I'm not worried," Valkyrie deflected. "You just talk about her a lot, and she sounds like a cool person. I wouldn't mind meeting more of your friends, that's all."
Alex awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "Wanda doesn't want to be a part of my lifestyle, she's just doing her job. As for me... I simply can't afford to lose her, you know? And you're a Dead Man, so, umm..." He faded out, before the honest statement could turn into an insult.
"Ah," Valkyrie glumly understood, "I see."
"So, at the risk of sounding overprotective, and paranoid, and probably offensive... I don't know if I'll ever introduce you to her, Val. Sorry."
She did an excellent job of swallowing the bitter pill. "Fair enough."
Alex teasingly smirked. "I'm afraid, you'll have to make do with the company of Betty, Dye, and Nukey-boy."
She bemusedly snorted. "I think I can make do with that."
"Besides, you're one to talk. I've barely met any of your friends."
"You've met the important ones. Our friend circles also happen to overlap quite a bit, nowadays," Valkyrie pointed out. Then, she hesitated. "Well, except for Tanith... But who knows when she'll decide to show up?"