It was Jay's birthday. Well, probably. Jay never got around to asking his parents if there was a note or something with his real birthday, or if they had just guessed after he was left on their doorstep. He also couldn't ask them now, at least not until he went through that big reveal with them all over again.

The letter hadn't come yet, or at least the mailman hadn't been able to find them on their constantly moving home. He had thought about seeking out Cliff before it was too late, but he just couldn't do it. What on earth would he even say to him? 'Hey dad, thanks for leaving me in a junk yard, I turned out just fine! Oh btw I think you're going to die in a week or so?' Nope. Couldn't do it.

If things hadn't changed, the letter should be here already, and everyday it didn't arrive made Jay's anxiety climb just a little. Did I really kill a man with that wish?

Even if Cliff was a terrible father, the idea his wish had somehow killed him… well the thought made him nauseous. It shouldn't have been possible, you couldn't wish for harm, but he hadn't wished for harm, and Nadakhan loved his loopholes.

Jay was tense, had spent the morning with Nya, trying to distract himself from the smell of baking wafting from the galley, because of course Zane would make a cake. This was a do over. He had already turned 18 once. His last birthday had been on Misfortune's Keep, although he honestly didn't know which of those awful days it had been. Misfortune's Keep, the place he had literally lost his childhood, ripped out of him by their brutal treatment. He was the youngest of the ninja, aside from Nya who was barely 17, and well, Lloyd. But tomorrow's tea had messed that all up. This particular birthday didn't feel like one worth celebrating, but everyone else was so eager to try and cheer him up, having noticed the change in his recent demeanour. So he had to try, had to put on a smile, eat some cake, pretend he was fine. And oh he was most definitely not fine. Not even a little bit. At least he wasn't seeing his parents until tomorrow. He was still struggling to think up how he was going to bring up the whole adopted thing. But it didn't feel right just ignoring it either.

Cole was also off in his own world. Thankful that it wasn't his birthday, wondering if they would even celebrate it when the time came, because what is a birthday if not a celebration that you managed to stay alive for another whole year? He wasn't alive, not really.

He wouldn't age, stuck exactly as he was when he was ghosted. At least that was what he was expecting. Yang was already old when he became a ghost.

But today was Jay's birthday, and Jay had been through something awful. So Cole needed to put aside his ghost problems and put on a smile, cheer on his friend, and eat some cake, even if it tasted all wrong. Even if thinking about birthdays sent his mind into the void.

Cake was his happy place. The thing that reliably brought him joy. Cake didn't leave you, cake didn't play tricks on you, or demand anything from you, it was just delicious. Except now it wasn't. The thing that was supposed to ground him, centre him, bring him joy! It tasted like mush. Honestly, Cole had no idea why all the ghosts they fought enjoyed eating so much. The texture was wrong, the taste was wrong. He could barely remember what right was, but he knew for sure this wasn't it.

"Cole?"

Cole drops the cake fork he had been holding, slipping right through his fingers, and turns towards the voice.

"Cole, are you alright?" Asks Zane.

"Huh?"

"You zoned out for a minute." Says Kai through a mouthful of cake.

Shit. He had barely taken a single mouthful. Everything felt fuzzier than normal. Distant. He glances over towards Jay. Jay was sitting there nervously besides Nya, staring at him with worry. If he couldn't pull himself together, he needed to leave, so that Jay would have a chance at enjoying the rest of the celebrations.

"How is the cake?" Asks Zane.

Cole stares at his barely touched slice in front of him, and lets out a sigh. They would easily see through any lie of 'it's great!'. "Yeah, um, food still is, well, mostly weird. I might catch you guys later."

He gets up to leave, ghosting through the furniture, and turns to walk through the nearest wall, wanting to get out of there quickly before anyone asks him to stay.

"Cole WAIT!" Nya yells urgently.

He doesn't know why him leaving the table is such a big deal. Sure it was Jay's Birthday, but did she really need to yell? He ignores her and continues to leave, swinging his hand into the wall, only to have it explode with pain.

"Argh!" He pulls it back in a panic, reflexively instructing his body to phase through everything in an attempt to protect himself.

He falls through the floor.

Shit shit. Not everything everything! Cole manages to catch himself on the lower deck before falling completely out of the bounty. He curls up on the floor. It feels like his arm has been blown up, he lets out another pained groan, cradling his shoulder, and, and, wait, where is my arm? There is a bit of a hazy mist coming from his shoulder, but no arm. Shit.

There is the sound of rapid footsteps, and then people are surrounding him once more.

"Cole?" Nya gets to him first.

"Fuck, what, what was that?" Cole stammers with pained breath.

"You were about to walk through a water main." says Nya. She had warned him where they were when he first started walking through walls, but with the cake distraction, he had completely forgotten.

"Right… water. Of course it was water. I'm such an idiot…"

Other worried faces gather around, staring at his lack of an arm.

"Are you ok?" asks Nya, crouching down in front of him.

"No. But I'm not, um, well, I'm still here?" He stares at his shoulder wondering if the haze would spread, wondering if this was the end. He lets out another pained groan.

"Cole, stay with us, don't go towards the light!" Jay crouches down next to Nya. Cole feels pressure in his knee as someone tries to place a hand there, but he definitely wasn't able to try and be solid right now.

"Jay… there's no light. It just hurts." The pain was getting slightly less intense, so hopefully he would be ok?

Zane pushes Jay out of the way so he can get a scan of Cole. "Can you try to reform it?" he asks.

"Yeah!" adds Lloyd. "Some of the books said ghosts can shape shift, so can't you just shape shift a new one?"

All eyes look to Cole waiting for his response. He sits up, taking a deep breath through his not-lungs. "I guess I can try?"

Cole pulls his good arm away from the injured one, holding it out in front of him, ignoring the fact that it's shaking a little. He closes his eyes and tries to imagine it being mirrored, both arms held out in front. He focuses, trying to pull the haze back into the regular shape, trying to literally pull himself back together. After a minute of this he slumps backwards, mentally exhausted. "Did, did it work?" He can't bring himself to look.

Zane cocks his head to the side. "It is a start."

Cole opens his eyes and turns to his shoulder, he has most of an upper arm, which was much more than before. "Huh."

"If you got this far, the rest will probably come back." says Lloyd, trying to sound confident, and not absolutely terrified.

"How's it feeling?" asks Kai from the back.

"Yeah, not too bad. The pain is mostly gone now." It still didn't feel right, hazy, vacant. He wiggles the shoulder, testing it. Was it possible for something to be more numb than normal?

"Thank the master!" says Jay with relief.

Cole looks at him guilty. "I'm sorry, I ruined your birthday."

Jay laughs, a big deep chuckle, and Cole sees the first real smile on his face all day. "You haven't ruined my birthday! Trust me, my last birthday was much worse." He gives Cole a comforting smile.

Zane and Kai exchange confused glances, Jay's last birthday had been fine, right? No one had almost died? But it didn't feel like the right moment to bring that up.

The next day Jay goes to visit his parents. Nya offers to go with him but he turns her down. "Next time, for sure, but I need to talk to them, about Cliff."

She nods with understanding, giving his arm a comforting squeeze before he heads out.

He speeds over there on his bike, using the journey time to trial yet another hundred ways he could bring up the whole adoption thing. By the time he got there the sheer volume of options had completely overwhelmed him and he had even less of an idea of what to say than before he started.

But he needed to face them. He'd just have to wing it.

After exchanging pleasantries, Edna goes to rummage through some papers. "Oh, Jay! You really should think about docking that ship of yours more often, the poor mailman couldn't figure out where you were and left some of your mail with us."

She passes him three envelopes and Jay's heart starts to race. He flicks through two that were obviously junk mail, but the third sends a shiver down his spine. He recognises it instantly. He doesn't need to open it to know what it contains.

I didn't kill him…

Nadakhan just changed how it was revealed to him, not the event itself. His parents notice him staring at the envelope with such intensity. "What's wrong son? Didya get a speeding fine or something?" asks Ed.

Jay shakes his head, forcing himself to snap out of it. "It's nothing. I'll read it later." He shoves the letters into his pocket.

Ed gives him a crooked half smile, then looks towards Edna who gives a small nod. "Actually, Jay, there's something we need to talk to you about. Now that you're 18, it's about time that you knew."

Jay sighs, closing his eyes. So he hadn't needed to bother with figuring out how to tell them after all. They were going to tell him. He opens his eyes once more, looking into their worried faces. He didn't want to hear them say it. Didn't want it to be real. Didn't want to have to do it again.

"Well, son, I um mean Jay, the thing is, you're adopted." Ed pauses, looking for some sort of reaction in Jay.

He knew it was coming, but his heart still breaks a little hearing Ed say it. He stares blankly at Ed, trying to remember how he reacted the first time, how he should be reacting to something like this, does he pretend he doesn't know?

When Jay doesn't say anything Edna takes over. "One day you just showed up on our doorstep, cute as a button. We took you in as our own and have been looking after you since."

"Sorry we didn't tell ya sooner, I guess we were worried you wouldn't want parents who live in a junkyard."

"Yeah, we understand if you don't want to call us your parents anymore."

Guilt pours through Jay. That had been his wish. He wished he wasn't poor, and didn't come from a junkyard. He had wished that these two loving people weren't a part of his life.

He had been such a fool.

"Of course I still want you as my parents." he croaks, finally breaking the silence. "You raised me, you loved me, you gave me everything I needed. I couldn't wish for better…" he did, but he knew now he had been so so wrong. He was the only one on the team who still had two loving parents, why had he thrown that away! He walks over to them, pulling them both into a tight embrace. "Please… never stop calling me your son."

Ed and Edna are momentarily surprised, but then hug Jay back eagerly.

"Oh Jay! That makes me so happy to hear." Says Edna.

"Happy birthday, son." Says Ed, with the emphasis on son.

Jay's heart can't take it. He cries, tears making their way down his face. He does his best to suppress it, wants to shelter them from this mess he made. From the mess he's become.

Ed and Edna pull away slightly, examining their son.

"Are you ok? Was it something I said?" Asks Edna.

Jay shakes his head eagerly. "Sorry… I'm just, it's just a lot." He takes a deep breath, making sure his lightning was under control. "I did wonder how I got my powers, if neither of you were the master of lightning."

"Well we don't know about all that…" says Ed as he rubs the back of his head.

"But we do have this key." says Edna as she goes to rummage in a drawer, pulling out the key and note. She hands it to Jay who puts it in the pocket with the letters.

"Thanks." He forces a smile, running a sleeve over his face. "I hope that's not the only gift you got me!" he says with forced cheer.

"Of course not!" Ed claps him on the back. "18's a big one! Edna dear, where'dya put the presents?"

Cole had been chilling on deck, leaning on the mast, watching the sunset. His arm was back, fully formed again. He keeps glancing at it nervously, making sure it is still there. Clenching his fist, making sure it still worked. This was his not-life now, being scared of fog, and pipes, and people spilling their drinks… He sighs, trying to come up with something positive to convince himself that it was going to be ok, but all he can think about is that feeling in his arm as it connected with the water… he glances down again.

"Hey." says Kai as he walks over, pulling Cole out of his thoughts. There is something about his tone which catches Cole's attention. This was serious.

"Hey, what's up?" Cole gives Kai his full attention, curious to find out what this was about.

Kai lets out a small sigh. "Can I ask you a favour?"

"Um, sure?" Cole's mind quickly tries to come up with the worst thing that Kai could ask him to do. Some sort of prank? His chores for a month?

"I don't think Lloyd has been sleeping well." says Kai glumly.

That wasn't a favour. Cole sighs, he had noticed Lloyd wearing deepstone more often lately, and he did sometimes see him up at odd hours. "Not that I don't want to help, but I think being around me stresses him out."

"Yeah…" Kai agrees, sadness laced in his voice. "I'm not asking you to babysit, just, I don't know. I'm worried. And you're up all night anyway. Can you just keep an eye out? If he's spending too much time awake in the middle of the night, come wake me up or something? I just don't know when he needs me."

Cole nods. "Yeah, ok. I can do that."

A couple nights later Cole is regretting his promise to Kai. Now he couldn't even dissociate in peace, zoning out until the dawn came. He had to stay lucid enough to keep tabs on Lloyd.

Tonight he was pacing. Walking silent laps around the ship. He had lost count somewhere in the 20s. Probably time to check on Lloyd again.

He goes invisible as he approaches Lloyd's cabin. Lloyd had been spending most nights in one of the solo rooms lately. Most of the times Cole stuck his head in the kid was fast asleep, but this time Cole has to suppress a gasp. Lloyd is sitting on the edge of the bed, nervously clutching a kunai, staring at it with a face full of pain and sadness.

I need to get Kai.

Cole dashes to the shared room, becoming visible as he climbs Kai's ladder. "Kai!" he whisper shouts while shaking Kai's shoulder.

"Mmm?" mumbles Kai, slowly waking up.

"It's Lloyd, he's in his room… he has a knife… I think he needs you."

"What?"

Cole's mind is racing, frustrated that Kai is taking so long to wake up. He briefly considers possessing Kai to get him moving faster. "Lloyd is sitting in his room, staring at a knife." hisses Cole, trying to implore the urgency without the whole room overhearing.

"Shit." Kai finally starts to move, jumping off the bed then rubbing at his eyes while he speed walks to the door. Cole watches Kai enter Lloyd's room, then goes to wait at the end of the hall. He was very tempted to listen in, but knew that Lloyd definitely wouldn't want him there. His mind spirals, thinking through worst case scenarios, feeling guilty about his reluctance to keep an eye out, feeling worse about the fact that his presence was contributing…

After about 40 minutes Kai comes out again, he sees Cole and wanders over to sit beside him.

"Well? How is he?" asks Cole nervously.

Kai sighs. "He's fine. He was just fiddling with it. Had a nightmare, felt like he might need to defend himself. It wasn't what you thought."

Cole lets out a sigh of relief. "And you believe him?"

"Yeah." Says Kai. "He showed me his arms. I didn't ask, but he showed me anyway. I believe him. But thanks for getting me. He was having a rough night."

"It's my fault." says Cole glumly.

"What?"

"Being around me, forced to live with a ghost… I'm making him worse." Cole pulls his knees to his chest.

Kai sighs. "It's not your fault. It's Morro's fault. I know that, Lloyd knows that. He'll be ok, this kind of thing just takes a bit of time."

"Right…" says Cole. Only half convinced. If only everything could be fixed with a bit of time.