Donald Duck: Stand back, musketeers: They shall sample my blade. Touché! [grunting] Musketeers? Hm? En garde? My blade?
[trotting]
Hey, psst. Whoever's in charge here?The scenery! Where's the scenery?
(A paint brush paints a farm landscape.)
Stand back, musketeers. They shall sample my... blade? Mm? Okay, have it your way.
(Donald goes offscreen then returns dressed as a farmer)
old mcDonald had a farm, E I E I And on this farm he had an iglo E I E I...oh
Would it be too much to ask if we could make up our minds?
Hmm?
(Donald goes offstage then returns wearing skis, a winter hat and a snowsuit)
(clank)
Dashing through the snow Ya ha ha ha Through the fields we go Laughing all the way ...way...
(Donald goes offstage then returns wearing a sarong and holding a ukelele)
Farewell to thee, farewell to thee The wind will carry back our sad refra-a-in One last embrace before we say
(Daffy walks into a blank background)
Hmm. Hmph. Buster, it may come as a complete surprise to you to find that this is an animated cartoon. And that in animated cartoons, they have scenery. And in all the years I've- (Donald Duck is erased) All right, wise guy, where am I?
(Donald is redrawn wearing a sombrero and holding a guitar. He shrugs his shoulders, then starts playing. No music is made. Donald holds up a sign)
SOUND, PLEASE!
[machine gun shooting] [horn] [donkey braying] hee-haw. hee-haw, hee-haw [rooster crowing] [laugh] [kookaburra calling] [meow]
[screaming] And I've never been so humiliated in all my life! Look, Mac, just what's going on around here? Let's get organized. Hmm? How about some scenery?
(Pencil draws a black and white background of a city)
That's dandy. Ho, ho. That's rich, I'll say. Now, how about some color, stupid?!
(Paint brush hits Daffy)
Hey! What the big idea!
(Donald is now multicolored)
NOT ME, YOU SLOP ARTIST!
[panting]
(An eraser erases his whole body, except for his face.)
Well, where's the rest of me?
(Paint brush recreates Donald as a quadruped with a flower iris over his head and a tail with a flag with a screw & baseball "Screwball")
It isn't as though I haven't Iived up to my contract, goodness knows. And goodness knows, it isn't as though I haven't kept myself trim. Goodness knows, I-I've done that. That's strange. All of a sudden, I don't quite feel like myself. Oh, I feel all right. And yet, I-I, uh...
(Paint brush creates a French mirror. Donald sees himself)
EEEEK! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT!
(Donald temper is rising, than the pencil erased Donald. Paint brush recreates Donald with his rightful body; now dressed in his sailor suit)
Well? I be. I'm in the navy again.
(A paintbrush paints a tropical paradise with the ocean, a volcano and an island.)
Over the sea, let's go, men We're shovin' right off, we're shovin' right off Again?
(Donald falls in the water. He swims to the volcanic island)
Hey, come here! Come here! Give me a close-up. A close-up.
(Camera crops out everything, except a small part of scene)
This is a close-up?
[screaming] A CLOSE-UP, YOUR BIG PALOOKA! A CLOSE-UP!
(The screen zooms in on his angry eyes.)
Thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin.
Now look, buster, let's have an understanding.
[thud]
Now what? Brother, what a way to run a railroad. Now, as I was saying-
[splat]
[Donald temper rising and rips apart the background] [panting] A-a-ah! All right, let's get this picture started.
(The End scene shows. Donald shoves scene aside)
NO! NO! Listen, pal, let's discuss this thing sanely, huh? Look, I tell you what. You go your way and I'll go mine. Live and let live, right? Right. Ladies and gentlemen, there will be no further delays. So I shall attempt to entertain youin my own inim-m-mitable fashion.
(Scene moves from top to bottom like an old-fashioned motion picture. It stops mid scene to have two Donalds)
Now what?
What are you doing down there?
Down here?
What are you doing up there?
Down here.
Listen, bud, if you wasn't me, I'd smack you right in the puss!
Don't let that bother ya, Jack.
Okay, buddy, you asked for it.
(Donald strikes other Donald, who is erased before Donald lands his punch, causing him to hit thin air and spin around. Paint brush creates a World War II plane and dresses Donald as a pilot)
Oh, boy, I'm a buzz-boy. (Donald pilots plane. Paint brush creates a mountain, which Donald crashes into offscreen. Plane is destroyed save for cockpit)
Uh-oh. Time to hit the old silk. Geronimo!
(Donald deploys parachute. As he is gliding down the pencil erases the parachute and replaces it with an anvil.)
Donald Duck:[after his parachute is turned into an anvil and he crashes to the ground, he is beating on the anvil with a hammer and babbling a passage from The Village Blacksmith by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]Under a spreading chestnut tree, the village smithy stands. The smith, a mighty man is he, with strong and sinewy...[while he is singing, the anvil is erased and is replaced with an artillery shell pointing straight up. After a few more hits, the bomb explodes]...Hands...[shakes himself off]All right. Enough is enough. This is the final, the very, very last straw! Who is responsible for this? I demand that you show yourself! Who are you? Huh?
[As he's venting, a doorway with an open door is drawn around him, then the door is pushed closed by the eraser. The camera then pans from the scene into an animation studio. As it turn out, that the animator tormenting Donald throught the story is revealed to be Mickey Mouse, the whole time!]
Mickey Mouse: Ha Ha Anyway I finally get even with that Duck for messing with my magic show?