Rewrite note: (25/12/2024) From 9k to 11k
Yeah, this time it took longer than usual, not because of the rewrite, but because I think I might end up with a 50k words chapter for the react fic, and I am unsure if I am going to be able to publish it at the start of next month (For those of you that are in Fanfiction, you can find the fic in either my AO3 or Wattpad account under the same username.)
As for Arc 4, things are going slowly, I've decided to overhaul the entire things due to how difficult it was to add everything coherently, so rather than trying to follow a clear structure, I decided to go with different scenes throughout the entire chapter.
Another reason was because of Canto VII of Limbus happening, it gave me an idea most ingenious to add. I decided to divide the Arc in 3 parts, so the first part should be out in spring/summer,or at the very least, after Canto VIII which is Hong Lu's. Part 2 should be in the works by then and then it'll just be Part 3, after that, Arc 5 should immediately be published due to the fact that I actually have it finished, it's a very short one that works as an interlude, but has a lot of importance.
The moment Issei opened his eyes, he saw a message from the system. Slowly getting up, he took a better look at it to see what it was all about. It was a notification about the quest he had completed.
Quest #3
Friendly Bonding
Condition: Increase your Relationship with a Character to 50 at the end of the next day
Failure: You do not increase your Relationship with a Character to 50
Completed!
Reward: Increases Relationship with Characters with over 50 total points
It looked like he gained more points for his relationship with Sayori, checking again quickly he went to the Relationship tab to see how much it increased, from the looks of it, it was an increase of 15 points in friendship and 5 points in romance.
He could not take his eyes out of Sayori's progress.
Sayori: 67/100 - 6/100
He sighed, not understanding why he was staring so pointlessly at it.
As he finished checking out the updated relationship bar, he gazed at a new notification that popped, yet another quest showed up, but this time it seemed much more ambiguous than the other ones.
Quest #4
Substitute Diffuser
Condition: Successfully defuse the argument.
Failure: Fail to defuse the argument.
Accept
"What argument?" He didn't know what it was talking about, he stood up to finally get ready to go to school, he wondered what would happen today as he put on his jacket.
He took a random Great Grade he had that didn't seem too explicit to show this time. Still, he wondered why only a few of the poems had effects on them.
When he was about to go out, he looked at his parents, they seemed to not have noticed any of the poems he's made, which makes him wonder, once again, if any of them were actually real if,
He didn't truly make them himself... did they even exist? Not only that, the romance points he had gotten, if it got to the point it would make anyone fall in love with him, would they truly love him? Or was the system manipulating them into loving him?
He also thought of how they would react to him staying in his room simply writing poems instead of playing games, reading manga or heck, even watching porn.
He expected them to be proud of the fact that he was doing something much more productive. But in the end it didn't matter as it wasn't as important as continuing the story.
After all, they are unlikely to notice them, they probably have really low expectatives for him.
He was merely a pervert, a happy go lucky that went on with his day by not caring about the future.
Carpe diem, seize the day.
That was what he followed back before he obtained the Writer's System.
He smiled a bit, studying a bit about literature seemed to have given him some bits of knowledge to even mention that.
It was small, but something he was proud of.
He felt like he had completely ignored everything around him as he was looking forward to the Literature Club yet again, what started as a way to follow the Writer's System guide turned into something he was passionate about, he may not have actual knowledge on literature like an adept writer but it didn't matter as he got to learn a bit about each of the members and the literature little by little.
Entering the club he saw as they still seemed to be talking about the festival, but he quickly noticed Sayori in the corner looking blankly at nothing.
Yet again, this worried Issei. He has been trying to talk to her about it, but in the end he seemed to have just said useless stuff that didn't help her at all.
He went up to her to at the very least talk more about her problems, it was the only thing that seemed to brighten her even if a little bit. "Jeez, you're gonna make the others notice you know?"
"Oh, right, yeah, I kinda zoned out for a bit" Sayori seemed to have realized this as she brought out a small smile. "Thanks, I guess."
Hearing her voice sound less enthusiastic made Issei think that her problems had gotten worse.
"Want to say anything else?" Issei inquired to the very least to see if she needed to express herself again.
"No, don't worry, I think I've already given you enough trouble by listening to me." She then continued to compliment him "You're quite different from what the others say, you know? They said you were a pervert but all I can see is a kind boy who's just trying to help."
The compliment seemed effective against Issei, truthfully, when was the last time he was complimented like that genuinely? He felt as his heart started to race a little bit. But in the end he still knew that it was simply a compliment, she was in love with Cordis.
Furthermore, she was probably keeping her act up, maybe that compliment wasn't as honest as he thought.
He then responded. "Oh, uh, thanks for the compliment, I guess? But what others say about me is true though, I am indeed a pervert, it's just... I didn't want to act like that here I guess? I don't know how to explain it..."
Issei did really feel like this about the whole club, he did not want to even jeopardize his affiliation to the club.
"But going back to the topic, I don't really mind you continuing to tell me your problems, if you're trying to act selfless by not telling anyone, I might as well act like it too and help you out."
This whole thing was found out by him because he showed her a poem that she could relate to a very intimate level. And he'd be damned if he didn't do anything to help her.
Sayori kept silent after the last part. In the end she seemed to want to be left alone. Issei went to another desk while keeping an eye on her. Cordis finally came into the room and immediately noticed Sayori looking sad.
When it finally came to poem sharing, he noticed that both Natsuki and Yuri had two poems instead of one. He shared his poem with Monika first this time while Cordis went towards Sayori.
He hoped that maybe it would help a bit for the two childhood friends to spend more time, and at the same time, maybe Cordis would find out about Sayori's depression so that there would be more people to help her.
"You've been looking at Sayori for a bit now, Hyoudou" Issei was taken by for a moment as he realized he was supposed to be sharing his poem with Monika.
"Oh, do you by any chance like Sayori?" Monika teased him a bit about it, this made him a bit flustered.
"What?! N-no, I jus- I'm just worried about her okay?" Issei denied any claim of him falling in love with Sayori, it was simply him worrying about another person, it was normal to do so, right?
"Sorry, sorry, I was just teasing you" Monika gave a laugh seeing his reaction at the question. "But anyways I've finished reading your poem, it is good as expected, you have talent for this Hyoudou, you should really consider making this a career if you don't have anything else in mind."
"A career uh?" Issei felt as if it was a bit of cheating to use the system to make a living out of it, but truthfully if he ended up learning literature maybe it could work.
He was quite curious on what the meaning behind Monika's poems were. Finally taking Monika's poem, he used Artistic Appraisal to see if this time he could understand anything.
Item
Poem The Lady Who Knows Everything
Grade: Great
Description: The knowledge that we contain must have come from somewhere, but what is that somewhere? Is it an entity far greater that knows everything? But then where did this entity gain such knowledge? Did it come from the amalgamation of various different topics? But then what is the first every piece of knowledge to have created the others? It does not matter as once you find this source of all knowledge you'll simply wish you never knew it existed, as there is simply no mystery behind the origin of knowledge nor any reason to continue learning.
Issei was sure that at least this time, it had nothing to do with Monika, this could mean that all other poems she had made were simply done just to be a poem, as if there was no deeper meaning than to tell a story.
It was... strange to say the least, he never expected her to write something like this.
Ignoring the philosophical question, he simply told her that it was quite intriguing. As he finished telling her, he saw Sayori get closer to Monika to ask her about something. He went to another person to share poems with.
He noticed as Sayori left the room, but she never came back even after two more sharings between the members. Yuri's and Natsuki's poems were about beaches, which were pretty simple, yet were still Good Grade poems.
His mind was stuck on where Sayori went, but when they all finally stopped sharing poems the other girls finally realized.
He asked Monika and Cordis about it, and apparently she just went home as she didn't feel good, yet another red flag that Issei caught on, he might as well check on her again if he had the chance, since these were only signs of her problems worsening.
He didn't have time to think about his course of action, as they were supposed to finally divide the work for the festival.
The discussion went for a bit, recompiling previous decisions such as Monika and Sayori would work together while Natsuki would bake
In the case of Yuri, it ended up being to create signs with her calligraphy, only Cordis and Issei were left to choose what to do to help. Just then as Cordis started talking about wanting to help Sayori, the other girls denied him.
This seemed weird as they were never this aggressive over something aside from that time Sayori...
"...Wait, was this the argument I was supposed to defuse?" Realized Issei.
Without Sayori, he quickly felt as the room's mood went down, she indeed was the one to brighten up the club, but without her it was up to someone else to do so, in this case, Issei was the substitute.
Cordis was again denied to go with Monika even when Monika asked for help due to Sayori seemingly being unable to help.
It was a choice between helping Natsuki or Yuri, Cordis had to ask for some time to really think and decide, all in hopes of making sure he wouldn't hurt either of the feelings the girls had just because he chose one over the other.
Issei took this as a chance to try and make a reasonable offer. "Uuuhm, rather than choosing one, how about you three do the activities together?"
This suggestion caught the attention of the other members, "Since it seems like you guys want Cordis to help you alot, wouldn't it be better to divide his time so that you both could work effectively?"
The insinuation that both of them wanted Cordis for themselves did make them blush a bit, but, they also did value their friendship, making this offer would satisfy both of them to agree on it.
In a way Issei ended up being a wingman for Cordis, despite the fact that he simply wanted to go check on Sayori.
"Then what about you Issei? Wouldn't it be better for you to go with one or the other rather than having Cordis do everything with both?" Monika then interjected, it seemed like she felt a bit of an outcast due to the fact that Cordis would be going with the other girls.
Issei simply responded to the question bluntly. "I really think someone should check on Sayori." Since it seemed like the other girls wanted to hang out with the protagonist., he felt like Sayori would feel hurt seeing him with other people, which could worsen her state even further.
Right now, he hoped that her mood wasn't at a critical level, he never had to experience how that felt like, or how someone close to him felt like, so this was new to him, and he really cared about what could happen if left untreated.
Monika frowned as she then tried to say. "Well I don't think tha-"
Before Monika could refute his answer, both Natsuki and Yuri came to his aid to agree with him. "I think Hyoudou/The Pervert should go!"
Issei felt that this was the worst moment to be called a pervert. "If you really wanted me to go check on her to give you some space with your crush, you wouldn't be putting it that way Natsuki!"
Cordis seemed a bit reluctant to do so, but in the end, with the two girls pushing him into giving in, he ended up agreeing. "Ok fine! But before any of you come, I'll show Issei where Sayori lives and be there in case anything happens, is that fine with everyone?"
They all seemed to agree, but in Monika's case it was a more reluctant one. Issei felt a bit bad for her, she'd be the only one who'd do this alone.
Yuri and Natsuki would end up sharing their phone numbers to Cordis, while Issei was told to go to an address right now to show where he needed to go.
But before they could leave, Issei looked at Monika, who downcasted her gaze as she looked at her hands.
Issei frowned as he did feel bad for her, he was sort of the reason why she was shunned out. He sighed as he went up to her.
He clasped his hands together as he apologized. "Sorry for having you get pushed away from the group activities for the festival! I didn't want Natsuki and Yuri to argue, and I genuinely worry for Sayori."
"If it hadn't been for Sayori, I probably would have asked to help you." He admitted.
Monika blinked once as she smiled. "Don't worry, Hyoudou, I suppose it is fine for me to work alone given the fact that I am the president of the club."
Issei sighed in relief. "Maybe next time."
"... Maybe so…" Muttered Monika.
Issei walked towards where he was told to go by Cordis to meet, while strolling through a street that he was pretty sure didn't exist before, he looked at the quest that he had just completed.
Quest #4
Substitute Diffuser
Condition: Successfully defuse the argument.
Failure: Fail to defuse the argument.
Completed!
Reward: Skill (Reasoning)
What he got was a new skill that seemed simple, all the while he was waiting for the next notification to show up, but it never did. "Uh strange, this is the first time I didn't get the next quest immediately after finishing the previous one."
He then went to check the new skill, he realized that he hasn't been using Feedback at any point aside from when he wanted to know where he needed to go. He then realized that had he used it he could have possibly given better advice to Sayori than what he had said to her.
But as he gave more thought to that, he shook his head. "... No, that would just be dishonest."
Using Feedback to give advice to Sayori seemed really dishonest. He wouldn't be giving her advice that he believed would help, but rather a robotic answer that could contain points that he didn't agree with.
(Epistemophobic's Nightmare): Increases knowledge on a specific field chosen by the user. Depletes 10 Sanity per minute. 1 Hour Cooldown.
(Artistic Appraisal): Allows User to differentiate grades of artistic work and gain other information. No Cooldown.
(Reasoning): Increases Sanity by 50%. Has a 10% chance to backfire, leading to a loss of 50% of Sanity. 6 Hour Cooldown.
This skill was a bit of a gamble, but honestly if there was anything that Issei learned from using the system, it was the fact that playing with chances was rewarding even when it backfired, for it would always increase his Temperance no matter the results.
As he finally got to where he was supposed to wait for Cordis, he saw him standing near a tree while looking down at his flip phone. Once he noticed Issei he started walking up to him and then said. "Ah, you've arrived, follow me, I'll show you where to go."
Instead of going out with his friends on a Friday night, he was going to follow someone else to check on his childhood friend, this was quite the weird situation but he didn't really mention it to Cordis.
The walk was quiet, so Issei decided to try and initiate some small talk. "So when did you decide to meet up with both Yuri and Natsuki?"
Issei then followed with a small apology. "Oh and sorry for putting you in a tough situation, I just didn't want any more tension to build up between the members."
Cordis didn't seem to mind as he proceeded to respond to him. "Don't mind it much, I understand why you did it, but to answer your question, we decided to meet up on Sunday since it was the best time for everyone."
He then started looking a bit sad "I can now see why Sayori is Vice President of the Literature Club, without her the place turns too intense to really do anything peaceful, I just hope she's truly fine, she's been acting different since I've joined the club, I just hope I haven't done anything bad to really make her feel sad."
"I don't think you did anything wrong, I think it started because I showed her the poem I've made, that was when she first started feeling sad." Issei tried to remove the guilt that Cordis was feeling since if Sayori found out she would feel even worse.
"You know, I've seen you talk quite a bit with Sayori, if I didn't know you any better I would have thought you were at fault, but you're different than what people say, so I don't think it's your fault." Cordis said as he understood what Issei was trying to do to help him out. "I'll just wait till Sayori tells me or if I see that she hasn't changed much."
Issei noted the different approaches they both had been trying to do to help her, while he tried to push the issue by directly confronting it, Cordis was patiently waiting for the right time to try and get to the bottom of the problem.
He would assume that Cordis' attempts would be better as they both had been childhood friends for a while now and he knew her more. That train of thought went away as they finally got to the neighborhood that Sayori and him lived in.
"Here's where you can find Sayori, see that house there? That is my house, and opposite mine, one or two blocks forward is Sayori's house, so once Sunday comes, we can both try and talk to her. I believe she needs some space for herself to really feel better right now, so let's not go bother her."
While Issei didn't really agree with Cordis' plan, there really wasn't much he could do since Cordis knew more about Sayori than he did. In the end they finally bid farewell as Issei went back to his house waiting for Sunday to finally come.
Then Saturday passed with Issei trying to keep his head busy with something else, that something else was him hanging out with his buddies Motohama and Matsuda. This, however, did not work.
Instead of enjoying looking at porn magazines and manga, Issei had his head thinking on what to say to Sayori for when Sunday finally came.
This however wasn't ignored by his friends as they knew that Issei would be laughing and looking at stuff with them. So they ended up cutting the hang out short due to the lack of his presence in their laughter.
Issei sighed as he felt like he was drifting apart from them. While he didn't want to do so, he couldn't really find joy in what he did before anymore.
Sure, he would still have one or two dirty thoughts about any woman that came near him, but he had long stopped trying to peek or ogle the Kendo club or any other time he had the chance to do so.
But nonetheless, Saturday did come to an end and Sunday finally arrived. Issei woke up early to get changed and get ready to check on Sayori with Cordis. As he went down the stairs, his parents realized that he had quickly gotten out of bed earlier than usual, but before they could ask anything he was already out of the house, leaving both looking at each other confused.
Running at a decent pace he finished eating a slice of toast he took from the kitchen as he made his way to the directions that Cordis showed him on Friday, as he got there he saw as Cordis left his house slowly.
They both looked at eachother, knowing what time it was as they nodded, they went towards Sayori's house as Cordis informed Issei that he told her that both of them would be visiting. As they got to the front door, he saw as it was already open, but Cordis simply knocked to signal that they were there.
As he opened the door they both entered to see that the first floor was completely empty, a silence created by the lack of people inhabiting the living room, or the sound of the television turned on, they made their way over the stairs and went to the second floor, where Sayori's room was located.
They went inside her room, of which Issei looked around as it was possibly his first time inside another girl's room. It was a complete mess, clothes were on top of chairs, on the floor and on the bedside table, the backpack she had was lying in the middle of the floor slumped while the blanket in her bed was not folded correctly.
"Sayori?" Was the first word spoken by Cordis after they first entered the room, the smile she gave this time was easier to recognize as fake, her mental health must have gotten worse as she finally gave up on trying to keep up the facade.
Issei let both of them talk to each other, as it seemed like they needed to catch up and he really didn't want to ruin the moment. He simply waited it out until he could insert himself into the conversation.
Issei listened to the conversation at the door, each word that came out of Sayori's mouth, he could tell what was going through her head at that moment, in just a few days he had enough knowledge to know how she felt, it felt like the system was making it easy for him to know stuff about people when it should take many years to do so.
"Helping everyone but not being there physically, she really wants him to hang out with the other girls even if it hurts her more." Issei simply started to feel pity, he knew that it was the worst thing he could do, she didn't want the pity from someone, it would just simply make her sadder, so he tried to hide it.
In the end, she finally confessed about her problems, her depression, why she usually came late to school... It must be hard on both of them to learn and admit to it, he felt so out of place at that moment.
He wasn't supposed to be there, this was an intimate moment for both of them, he was thinking of simply leaving, yet he stayed, seeing as every time he tried to help he didn't get to do much for her, he felt like he truly didn't know anything about the two of them despite having the help of the system.
Hearing her talk even more, he asked himself if the times she told him of her woes were simply just to not worry him more, or if she truly felt that way, hearing as she talked about not wanting others to worry made him realized that pushing the subject wasn't really a good idea either, as it simply made her guiltier. Has he affected her negatively as well?
She talked about feeling bad for being selfish, each time she admitted to something else it hit Issei hard as well, every word that came out of his mouth when trying to help her was exactly everything that Sayori was afraid of being, being selfish, worrying others, everything that he's been hearing made him lose his composure.
He looked at Cordis, he wasn't breaking but at the same time he wasn't indifferent, he stood his ground as he was there to hear her, simply trying to appease her quietly, Issei knew he rushed things, of course, he never truly knew who they were, he was simply supposed to be a secondary character, a simple unimportant piece to make the protagonist look better.
"I am weak and selfish." Hearing Sayori say those words, insulting herself, it made Issei wish to jump in and yell that she wasn't.
It was something Issei wanted to say but couldn't, he simply couldn't bring himself to say what he really wanted to, she was strong enough to hold onto life for so long, she was selfless enough to leave herself feel the pain while Cordis interacted with the other girls, she was nothing of what she was calling herself.
Issei silently got out of the room as he went downstairs to calm himself, he simply sat down supporting himself with the wall near the stairs and waited for them to finish talking. He was an idiot, he felt guilty for rashly telling her things to cheer her up, and he wouldn't let that down until he found a way to fix it.
As he heard footsteps coming from upstairs, he looked up to see Cordis coming down as he seemed to have finished talking with Sayori. He told me to go upstairs and see if he could help her himself. Issei wasn't confident after what had transpired but he would still give it a shot.
Making his way upstairs yet again, Issei entered just to see Sayori sitting on the floor, her gaze looking directly at him, her smile was gone now, but there was not a frown there, it looked like she left that mask behind.
"So, you also came, uh? Sorry for not really greeting you, I guess I was too focused talking to Cordis…" Sayori seems to still feel guilty, but this time he simply stayed quiet.
"I hope he has a good time with both of the other girls, I do feel bad for leaving Monika alone to do her work." Sayori continued to tell him stuff that he knew was a reminder for her to feel guilty. Issei had enough of that.
"I must admit that I was the one who planned to put both Natsuki and Yuri with Cordis." Admitted Issei.
Sayori perked up at this, Issei then continued. "They kept arguing about who he should go with, so I ended up trying to make an agreement between them."
He didn't mention the part where Cordis picked Sayori first as it would continue to make her guiltier.
"They've been arguing more lately, they used to be nicer around each other..." Sayori, seemed a bit curious on why this had changed "...But thanks for stopping them before it got any worse. You have my gratitude."
"You shouldn't thank me, I just took notes from you." Issei mentioned before realizing what he had just said, all he could see was Sayori taken aback by the indirect compliment.
"I- why would you take a note from me when I'm so useless." Sayori said as she kept degrading herself, it seemed as this was the lowest of the low moments that she was going through.
"Because without you, the club wouldn't really work well, there is a reason why you're the Vice President of the club." Issei continued complimenting her, this time on purpose, he needed to have her in a mood that wasn't self degrading.
"Mmmm, stop giving me compliments, I really don't deserve them" Sayori kept denying any form of compliment, Issei kept pushing it, despite knowing this could turn really bad quickly.
"Then who was able to break Natsuki's and Yuri's first fight? Who was there to cheer everyone up when they themselves couldn't? Who was the person that I bumped into that made me discover the Literature Club?" Issei was trying everything to make Sayori feel that she had purpose, even if not for herself.
If she could find a way to live just for her friends, it was a big enough step into the right direction so that she wouldn't do anything that would end her life.
Sayori was now speechless, everything he told was true even for the most oblivious people, but she was still not budging and kept denying it.
At this point Issei started to feel frustrated, but at the same time he needed to keep his cool, since he still wanted to help her out, it did however make him start getting desperate to help her.
"Neither Cordis or I blame you for anything, we don't feel like you're even being selfish at all, you've simply been helping others because you never felt like you deserved it, but if even the person you've been close to since your childhood is telling you that you deserve to be loved, you truly do Sayori, if anything, you deserve to be happy, but we can't do that if you aren't able to open yourself to others and show them that you are in fact not happy."
"Both of us know about your depression now, but with the help of more people we could make sure that it fades away, you saw how Cordis reacted, he was willing to help you unconditionally, do you think the girls would say no?"
"... Natsuki would definitely help me..." Sayori whispered, not loud enough for Issei to hear, but he continued to tell her more, but her doubts still were present as she asked yet another question.
"But the girls seem to hang out with Cordis a lot, and yet I keep taking his attention to the point that Natsuki's and Yuri's friendship is in trouble" She pointed this out yet again. This time Issei didn't have a response as he stayed there quietly.
They had been going on and on about the problem with no signs of it ending. Issei still didn't want to give up, he didn't know why he was going so far for a girl he had met for only almost a week now, especially since she didn't seem to really want to talk about it.
This silence was then interrupted again by the pink haired girl, "Why are you even going out of your way to help me so much?"
"Because I... I..."Before Issei could think what he was going to say he quickly caught on before he said anything.
What was he going to say? Because I want you to be happy? Because I think you deserve better? Because I love you? Many options came to Issei's head, but he didn't know what he wanted to say at that moment, his feelings were a mess after talking to her for what felt like a long time.
"See? You yourself don't even know why you're helping someone like me." Sayori said with a pained expression on her face.
Issei's eyes widened as Sayori looked at him moments before she was going to cry. "N-No! Sayori! Please! Hear me here! I still want to help you."
"Then why is it that you want to help me?! What gives you the purpose to continue helping others and not feel empty about yourself?! Why couldn't I have been like you?! Why couldn't I have been someone who's helping people, even the worst of the worst like me without needing self satisfaction or feelings of happiness..."
"Why couldn't I have been selfless like you?!"
"Just why am I so selfish!" She cried out as she clenched her fists.
She continued to cry as she looked up at Issei's shocked expression.
Her eyes widened as she believed he was judging her for what she just said.
"I... I need to go outside now..." Sayori stood up quickly as she made a sprint towards the door.
Issei started panicking and tried to stop her from leaving "Wait! This is your house, you're supposed to kick me!"
He desperately reached out to grab her hand, he needed to catch her, he needed to help her calm down, because he was at fault for creating this mess.
And because...
He loved her.
He fell in love with her, someone who treated him like normal, someone who didn't judge him for being a pervert...
She was just a normal girl that he had the luck of meeting.
Yet his fingertips grazed the back of the palm of Sayori's hand as she left him in her room.
He let out a nervous sigh as he stood up to try and catch up to her as he called for her name in desperation.
The light of the entrance door blinded him as he went through it. Looking around, he tried to see where Sayori was, only to see Cordis and the other two girls he had gone to work standing and talking casually.
Natsuki and Yuri seemed to be looking competitively at each other while Cordis noticed Sayori. Issei quickly hid himself behind the wall at the entrance of Sayori's house.
He didn't want Cordis to see him, not when Sayori was crying, he didn't want him to get the wrong idea... but he knew it was late, he was probably thinking that he had done something terrible to her.
Both Natsuki and Yuri then bid farewell to Cordis with a sad tone while Sayori looked anxious at him, her eyes red from crying as she trembled.
Issei knew where this was going and he didn't know if this would go well or not. He knew she would try confessing her feelings to him and he was to blame as he had pushed her to her limit.
His position inside the club would also be in danger if the misunderstanding wasn't cleared soon enough.
His mind went wild as he completely ignored what was going on outside, he seriously screwed up this time, didn't he?
It was a jumble of feelings that Issei never felt before until now, what was he hoping for? What was he expecting? He felt as if he was never intended to even get close to any of them as if they were scripted in some way or another to always look for Cordis, but they felt so human to him, they felt like they were actual people.
And he knew they were, they weren't machines that continued with a script, they laughed, they cried, they argued...
And most of all, they could fall in love.
Just how everyone fell in love with Cordis.
He finally snapped back to reality as he heard Cordis admit he also loved her. Did he say it just to make her happy? Or did he truly feel like that?
Issei felt his heart twist, as his hopes of it being false would simply hurt Sayori even further, yet if those words were true, then he would end up as the one being hurt.
Yet he accepted that reality, he accepted that he was never meant to get close to Sayori or any of the girls, he was after all, just a pervert that had the luck of joining the club.
Issei should be happy to see childhood friends finally together, the one that needed Cordis most was able to get together with him, but all he could feel was pain, he didn't know if it was from seeing both hug each other tightly or because he felt guilty for hurting Sayori.
No, he knew correctly why, it was because he was seeing someone he fell in love with fall for someone else.
"Ah, is this what heartache feels like?" He thought as he grasped his chest with a nervous laughter.
Issei felt like this was the reason, he couldn't find any other way that would also explain why he felt like this, when was the last time he truly fell in love with someone? Falling in love with someone, not because they were Issei's type, not because of their looks, but because of their personality and the way they treated him, when was the last time a girl truly complimented him, or even cared about him that wasn't his mother?
He felt as if the reason why he even wanted a harem was because he wanted to be loved by someone else romantically. He didn't know if this was his true motive or if this story had changed him to feel like this is why he wanted it.
He wondered, was the system also affecting his psyche?
In the end he could only see as both of them held each other tightly between each other's arms, he could see how Sayori didn't look happy even after being accepted, did she feel like Cordis was simply doing it to make her happy? He didn't know, but he did care, a lot.
He then looked in front of him to see that the system had a new message for him.
A new image has been added to the Gallery
Rolling Girl
As of now, all the images in the Gallery were of Sayori, he wondered if had he helped someone else, like Yuri, would it have been images of her? It didn't really matter to him, he simply wished to help if he could, just like how Sayori did.
He felt both sadness and happiness while looking at this image. "Was this how Sayori felt when she didn't know if she wanted to take all of Cordis' attention?"
In the end Sayori then bid farewell to Cordis, as she came back to her home, she noticed that Issei was hiding behind one of the walls, this time, Issei was the one with a few tears in his eyes instead of Sayori.
They simply looked at each other, Issei then looked away from the guilt, but he still kept his eyes on her, she didn't really look happier, if anything it felt like she was hurting even more than before, but Issei couldn't say anything, he had hurt her trying to help her, there was nothing he could do now.
"I... I should go now." He said, his voice cracking as he was still sentimental. "I hope both of you are happy from now on."
Those words were filled with a fake smile, the very same smile that Sayori wore for the past week.
He simply stood up and left the place, meanwhile Sayori just looked at him as he slowly was no longer visible, she then started to cry as the confession didn't even help her become happier. In the end neither of them would have the conclusion they wanted.
Issei merely fell on his bed, thinking of what had happened at Sayori's home. He couldn't think of anything else, not even the festival or what else he could do. He even completely ignored his parents when they asked him why he suddenly left the house.
All he did that day was simply stare at the ceiling while reflecting on everything, from when he joined the club to now.
When he went downstairs to eat dinner he still was stuck in his thoughts, not being able to ignore them, he simply couldn't.
How couldn't he? Finding out you actually loved someone who you were trying to help because you just wanted to and they confessed their love to someone else?
He had no right to be mad, he knew that, he didn't feel like opposing that couple as it was something he wanted to happen, as it felt like it would bring happiness to her.
It was a cruel twist of fate, something straight out of a book he expected to find in the Literature Club, and he hated to think that way, because it was probably what the Writer's System wanted.
His first attempt to ignore it was to try checking through the menu... Which didn't work as he ended up entering the gallery just to see the Cherry Blossom image. Next he went to the stats... his Sanity was at 48/100 which did surprise him, but it simply reminded him of the events that happened, bringing it down to 47/100.
He tried taking out the porn magazines he had, but just didn't feel in the mood to even check them out, video games didn't work either, and not even poems as well, he just gave up and didn't try anything else.
In the end he tried sleeping even though it was still too early, but thankfully that worked out. He just had to worry about waking up too early and then making it a routine, he personally wouldn't mind it since it would help him get to class in time more consistently.
He took out Poem The Color of the Electric Sheep, he read through it, still not understanding anything, but felt himself start to fall asleep, he simply let his arms fall while the book landed beside him, shortly after he went to dreamland.
When he woke up, he found himself in a white field adorned with blue shades that slashed through it, the floor reflected back to him, but he didn't know what was going on, Issei went around looking for any structure but didn't find any, just a few lumps here and there, and a big silhouette in the distance.
He traveled on what seemed like an endless landscape towards said silhouette, that was until he reached it, it was a church in the middle of nowhere, it was incredibly tall, to the point that he could see the reflection of the nave roof reflected back as there seemed to be a roof to this place.
He then entered the place only to find it empty, he went towards the altar, still no one in sight, as he got there he saw that there was a book there. He slowly put his finger over it while hesitantly thinking if he would look at it or if he should leave it there. He ended up picking it up.
When he looked at it, the book was completely white with blue gems adorning it, he was confused about it as it didn't have any name on it. But before he could open it, he felt as the church started to tremble.
He then woke up.
When he woke up, the sun was starting to rise, but you could still feel the cold breeze of the air blowing through his open window. As he looked around he noticed that he had the book from his dreams in his hand. He quickly used Artistic Appraisal on it, but what he found was the following message.
You do not have the skill to use Appraisal on this Item
"So it isn't a poem" Issei thought as the ability still worked on Poem The Color of the Electric Sheep. He noticed that he had another notification from the system. But this time it was the next quest he needed to do. And when he saw what it was saying, he simply stood up.
Quest #5
Sayonara
Condition: Go to Sayori's House before the Festival
Failure: You don't go to Sayori's House
Accept
Issei was already sprinting, he didn't even change clothes or anything, he opened the door loudly and went down the stairs before almost falling over, his parents came out of their room and saw him putting on his shoes with a panicked look.
"Issei, what the hell are you doing?! It's still 4 in the morning!" His mother screamed at him asking what the hell he was doing awake at this time. He simply ignored her and ran as fast as he could.
His father then looked incredibly concerned as they both looked at each other, silently telling themselves that they would tell him about this since it seems like he started going outside in a hurry without telling them what was going on.
Issei hoped, no, Issei prayed that this wasn't what he thought it was, he didn't want this to be real, he didn't want this to happen, he went as fast as he could, sometimes making him almost fall over as he took big leaps to get to Sayori's house as soon as possible.
Going through the streets he even almost got hit by a car by how much he was recklessly running, but his well-being didn't matter right now, what mattered now was the well-being of Sayori.
As he got to the neighborhood, he went towards Sayori's house to then bang on the door loudly.
"Sayori, hey, can you hear me?!" He screamed as loudly as possible, he didn't care if it would wake up the neighbours, but he realized something was off.
The door was unlocked.
Opening the door wide open, he looked around to see that there was still no one in the house.
"Where the fuck were her parents?" He was currently unstable as he felt his blood run cold as he learnt that maybe she was an orphan, or she was being neglected by them, but he quickly let those ill thoughts go away as they have just gone to work incredibly early, ignoring any kind of question that was bubbling in his mind.
It was too dark for him to see and decided to look for a switch, he was able to hit one and it lit the living room, being able to see the stairs now, he went up and was now in front of Sayori's room.
He barged in recklessly by opening the door with his shoulder, even if she was okay and she called him any insult for breaking into her house, it wouldn't matter as it would mean she was ok. But all he saw was darkness, the room was completely shut out from the light as the windows were closed by the blindfolds.
He turned the lightswitch on.
And what he saw took time to process, he saw Sayori's legs hovering over the floor, he slowly looked upwards to see her body dangling while she had an expressionless look as there was blood on her nails and her neck was bleeding.
"Sa...yo...ri?" Issei could hardly say her name as he saw her dead body on a noose, he dropped onto the floor as he started to feel his tears coming out of his eyes.
"No, nonononononono, please tell me this is a dream" As he got closer while dragging his body he tried reaching out to see if it was an illusion
Just like last time, he tried to reach out to her hand, but he pulled his hand back as he dared not know if it was true.
This was the first time Issei saw a dead body, and this was the first time Issei felt his heart shattered into many pieces. He couldn't believe it, no, he wouldn't believe it, in fact, he refused to believe this was happening.
As he stared at her for a long time, he felt like he could have done something better to help her. Maybe not have tried too hard on trying to cheer her up. He should have stayed there instead of running away like a coward.
But now, he had nothing he could do, and he was to blame for doing so. If only he hadn't ever barged into her life, maybe nothing like this would have have happened, maybe she would have been alive, mayb-
Your Sanity has been depleted, entering Panic state
Your Panic status is Suicide
Wait, right! How couldn't he remember?! He could use Second Take to take him back before she committed suicide, he could save her if he went back to the day before! This was perfect, all he needed to do was kill himself!
He started to feel his thoughts be replaced by the longing of getting Sayori back, swiftly he went downstairs to her kitchen and looked through the utensils, there, he found a kitchen knife that he could use.
He took the knife and looked at it closely, it didn't matter if it was a quick death or if it was painful, all he wanted was her to be back, to when she would still tell her woes to him, to the times where all he had to worry about was a fucking quest, to when all he did was read the poems of others.
He quickly plunged the knife to his chest.
It was painful, far more painful than he expected, but it was worth it, he then took the knife out and repeatedly did so many more times, he repeated it as many times as he could. He could hear his flesh tearing apart as more and more blood started gushing out of his body.
Again
Again
Again
Again
Again
Again
Trait (Deus Ex Machina) has activated
Again
Again
Again
AGAIN
AGAIN
AGAIN
AGAIN
AGAIN
AGAIN
AGAIN
AGAIN
AGAINAGAINAGAINAGAINAGIANAGAINAGAINAGAINAGAINAGIANAGAINAGAINAGAINAGAINAGIANAGAINAGAINAGAINAGAINAGIANAGAINAGAINAGAINAGAINAGIANAGAINAGAINAGAIN
.
.
.
.
.
He stabbed himself many times before he could no longer hold the knife correctly, Deus Ex Machina had activated and he didn't even notice, he was frustrated, why couldn't he die?
Why was he so useless to the point that even dying was a task?
He felt anger at himself as he was completely useless even for dying, he stabbed himself one last time on the head, marking it the 48th time he plunged the knife into his body.
He slowly fell to the floor as he looked at his bloody hands in front of him while laying on the cold floor that was starting to get stained with a pool of blood, smiling as he was seconds away from dying and bringing her back to life.
He slowly closed his eyes waiting to see himself back on Sunday, he was in pain, yet that didn't matter, when he no longer felt it, he started opening his eyes again.
Trait (Second Take) has activated
But what he opened his eyes to was Sayori's body hanging on the noose again.
Why, why why why, WHY was he back here, did the system put the checkpoint at this time or was this Second Take's penalty? Why couldn't he go back to before any of this happened, why did it have to show him her dead body again? Why did Sayori have to do this? Did she really think she was the only one suffering? Was the help of others not enough? Did she feel special by-?
Wait, what was he saying? Slowly, Issei realized that he was blaming Sayori for this, he was blaming her for commiting suicide, what kind of sick person was he? No, he wasn't like this.
It took seconds before Issei ended up realizing he had killed himself, all the information coming back to his mind, Sayori's suicide, his suicide, the way he talked about Sayori in that state. Grasping his head, his eyes widened as he remembered what he did to try and bring her back.
He screamed as he didn't know what to do. He screamed at the top of his lungs as he was horrified by the sick actions he just took.
As he stopped, he threw up on the floor as he grabbed the wall to support himself.
Was this what a depleted Sanity looked like? If so, he never wanted to feel it ever again. He recovered himself from the ground and sat down on the stairs.
He had lost someone he held dear, even if it was someone he had met only a week ago, those small conversations they had were everything to him.
It was because of her that he found a passion for literature... and yet, this was how he repaid it to her.
It was his fault too. He started to cry as much as he could, letting it out with no one to comfort him, he spent many minutes screaming and cursing himself for being too late.
He kept blaming himself for this and he slowly stood up to go to Cordis' house, he needed to know.
"How the fuck do I tell him this." Issei thought as he didn't feel like crying anymore, he was now simply disconnected with reality, not knowing what to do at this point but telling the bad news to her childhood friend.
He was no longer thinking of helping others as he feared that this was what was going to happen if he tried to, he drifted already from what he originally acted, but this trauma would surely have him stray from the path would have taken even further.
He knocked a bit on Cordis' door, shortly after he had to knock again, this time harder. The lights of the house turned on as he could hear footsteps getting closer to the door.
When the door opened he saw Cordis grumpily asking him what he was doing here. "Issei, dude what the heck are you doing here at this hour?"
"Sayori committed suicide." He said with defeat.
Upon hearing this Cordis' eyes widened. Issei's look of despair made Cordis know that it was not some fucked up joke, but that it had happened.
"What? No... Wait, please give me a second." He quickly went towards Sayori's house to check for himself, even if he knew Issei wasn't lying he still didn't want to believe it.
Issei simply stood there waiting for Cordis to come back, minutes later he heard sirens coming from the distance
And once they arrived, he stood in front of the body they were transporting, Sayori's body was covered by a white veil.
And Issei was glad that he couldn't see her face, not with that hollow look she had that he feared would haunt him in his dreams.
The police came to the scene to report on the situation, just to recollect data to make a formal report of what happened in the middle of the night.
Issei could be seen sitting at the side of the road with a dead look on him. Unlike him, Cordis was furious, not at Sayori nor Issei, but himself, he also blamed himself for not realizing that she needed him at that moment.
At this point, he didn't care about the festival, he just wished to mourn this loss.
In the end Issei went back home, he didn't know what to think right now, but he did not want to go to school, not today, and possibly not for the whole week, and he didn't think Cordis would either.
The cold breeze of the night blew as he passed over the bridge in which he first met that girl that confessed her love to him.
He stopped for a moment as he looked at the night sky with melancholy.
"If you're not here with me... then what's the meaning of continuing on?" He muttered as he closed his eyes.
It was then he realized the motive of rejecting the first girl to ever ask him out on a date.
Sayori showed him what it was to truly fall in love.
Opening his eyes again, he could only sigh as he gripped the bar over the bridge, to the point that his force made his arm tremble.
As he entered his house, he could see his parents looking at him, they seemed to have waited for him to come back to talk to him some sense, but they saw the look that Issei had and instead felt like they needed to help him more.
They both went to try and ask him what had happened, being there to listen to his troubles, he simply sat down on the couch in the living room and completely broke down.
His parents were completely shocked by what had happened, they immediately got closer to hug him as they knew that he didn't deserve to see that, they let him not go to school and asked if he wanted to be left alone or if he wanted anything else. He simply went back to his room.
Looking around, all he could see were notebooks on top of notebooks, but right now all he wanted was to throw them all away. It hurt, it really hurt as all the poems he's made remind him of the Literature Club, of her, but he didn't have the guts to do so, not when he still had good memories with each member.
Sitting again on his bed, he realized that he did complete the quest and he had something new in the gallery. He first went to the quest tab to see what he had gotten.
Quest #5
Sayonara
Condition: Go to Sayori's House before the Festival
Failure: You don't go to Sayori's House
Completed!
Reward: Upgrade Menu Option Unlocked
Upgrade? He didn't want to look at the information on it, but he didn't have anything better to do. If it could get his mind away from today then it was worth it.
Upgrade lets you increase the Grade of Items, evolve traits and level up skills. These ones that are available to upgrade your arsenal will be pointed out with the ! symbol
So a way to get better versions of stuff he already had? That is nice, he looked through the Traits he had, none of them seemed to have an upgrade yet, same happened with Skills, but when it came to Items...
Item !
Poem of Cherry Blossoms
Grade: Great
Description: The weak scent of cherry blossoms that this poem emits is able to calm down some of the disturbed. It tells the story of a man who sees as the cherry blossom that he's taken a liking to wither away.
Effects: 15% Sanity Regeneration while in the user's inventory
Of course, why wouldn't it be the item that was inspired by her. He decided on upgrading the item, he didn't know what it would become, but right now, he didn't feel like he was in the right state of mind.
Poem of Cherry Blossoms has been upgraded to Poem The Cherry Blossoms' Grave
"How fitting" Issei felt like crying, this book had been the thing that seemed to have predicted how he felt about Sayori, but now he wondered, what did the other books tell? Poem of the Black Swan seemed to be of accepting one self, but did it specifically mean to him? And what about Poem The Color of the Electric Sheep? He had no lover, and after meeting Sayori, he felt like he would never want to, because he didn't believe he could feel like this someone ever again.
Item
Poem The Cherry Blossoms' Grave
Grade: Magnum Opus
Description: The man continued to visit the Cherry Blossoms, even if it was gone. He noticed as sprouts came out of where the Cherry Blossom used to be, hopeful he took care of them, but in the end, it was for naught, as the Cherry Blossom that grew wasn't the same one as the one he loved. In the end he gave up on ever looking at that Cherry Blossom ever again.
Effect: 1 Prudence, 15% Sanity Regeneration, 15% Health Regeneration
At this point Issei ended up crying, the description pretty much told him that no matter what, he would never be able to see her again, he let out his cries as he covered his eyes with his hands.
Minutes later he simply tried continuing forward to see what the new image on the gallery was, scared that it would be an image of what he would not like to mention, he closed his eyes and slowly opened them only to see something different.
A new song had been added to the Gallery
TOOBOE - Question Mark
It was a song instead, he decided not to even touch it, if it was gonna be about the events that happened today, he would rather not.
In the end all the Writer's System's new stuff ended up reminding him of her. He didn't know if he even wanted to continue, could he even stop now? The story didn't seem to have stopped and now, with the only person he really bonded with gone, he had no real reason to go to the Literature Club.
Despite not going there for Sayori, the impact she made on him in just a few days made him completely unable to really see the Literature Club as a safe space, especially since without her, there were bound to be more fights happening in there.
He simply took the white book that he gained from the dream and simply tried to sleep away the whole day. Unable to, he simply stayed quiet as he attempted to wipe the whole event out of his memory.
One thing was for sure.
Issei now saw the Writer's System as a curse, mocking him for his failure.
(A/N)
Oh boy, my longest chapter yet, honestly I sometimes regret making it about ddlc the first arc, not because I think its bad, but because I don't think I'm able to create an impact that would make the game justice.
You might have realized that I've tried to make both Natsuki's and Yuri's thing at the same time, thats because i needed a reason for Issei to be able to check on Sayori... Speaking of which I've written her name in this chapter like 85 times. Yes my favoritism has no bounds. But after this we should be able to get into the other characters more. (Can't wait for Issei to say "I miss Sayori" like Hokma misses that mf)
The amount of stab wounds foreshadows something as well, if you get it right, you either need to go touch some grass or you are an incredibly dedicated person.
Well first of all, and most importantly, the song that I added. Yup it's the cover's image, guess you didn't expect that foreshadowing did ya? But more importantly, this is going to be a way of me saying "I got the idea from the lyrics". Yup, most of the stories are gonna be based on what story I've created based on the lyrics of a song, I'll also give an explanation on how I got to this point if the lyrics have an impact, this can be found in my story in Wattpad called Story Status. The songs themselves don't even have any relation to the fic or anything of Highschool DxD or any other thing I use. It is simply my imagination using the lyrics without much context and creating a story from there. They don't affect the story, they are simply there as a way to remember where I got the idea from.
The name of the Image Rolling Girl is indeed reference to Wowaka's (May he rest in peace) Rolling Girl
Poem The Cherry Blossom's Grave, if you've played Lobotomy Corporation, you know damn well that this is Graves of Cherry Blossoms, the Panic status Suicide also comes from there.
Reasoning is actually a card in Yugioh which I made into a skill, there isn't much to it.
The mysterious white book with blue gems? well, you would have thought on a certain dragon... yup Blue Eyes White Dragon! I'm kidding, I'll just leave the suspense to when I get to it :)
Now onto scrapped ideas.
The first arc is actually based on an idea I had years ago... It was an Issei x Irina x Sayori Love triangle, the battle of the childhood friends, but it somehow morphed into this multi arc story, just so you know this was not where it all started.
I was about to write the Unknown Sefirot but with its revealed name, I didn't however thankfully.
Before Unknown Sefirot, I was thinking of putting, Scribe of Chaos, where Ophis would come into play of the story... But I realized that it's been a long time since I've read Highschool DxD to the point that I forgot everything and just decided to not go with the idea. This is what happens when you read too much fanfiction kids.
I also put in Ophiuchus' Descendant, but then I remembers that if I did put this trait, it would make things awkward later on.
I think that's it, don't think I've forgotten anything. Can't wait to turn this into the Spanish translation... yaaaaaay.
I'll see y'all when I update again.