Eventually, Iroh collapses down next to me. There are smoldering bits of the ship all around me, but the majority of it sank into the harbor. The section above the water is encased in flames reaching for the sky. In the water, there are pieces of teapots, of fabric from flags, of armor pieces, of paper. All of it floats and sinks and moves in the waves. There is no blood, not bodies.
The air is silent.
My sobs have quieted down, and I see my staff bobbing in the water. I make no move to grab it, letting the water take what I once was and what I will never be able to be again. My heart breaks, and I cannot find a way to put the pieces back together.
Iroh places a hand on my shoulder, sad, but not yet crying. Is he saving it for private? He whispers, "Zuko." Silence except for the sound of the flames and the ocean battling. "Zuko!"
How can he hope that Zuko survived this blast?
Malicious.
Everything is wrong.
I feel wrong.
From the corner of my eye, somewhere near the middle of the ship, I see something splashing in the water. It looks vaguely like a person's head, looking for purchase amongst the rolling waves. Without thinking, I dive into the water, knowing, knowing, hoping that Zuko is alive. Alive. Alive. Please.
As I approach, I realize it is just a teapot, blackened and charred by the blast. I can hear Iroh on the dock, asking me. I whisper, "No" and smash the pot with my hand in frustration. There are angry tears rolling down my face, mingling with the seawater. I am angry. I let the tears come, angered at my inability to separate myself from this, to have prevented this, to have taught enough for Zuko to have gone home.
I blame myself. Deep down, I blame myself for Zuko's death.
Distantly, I hear coughing. I whip my head to look at Iroh, but he is silent, observing the water, squinting into the darkness and the flames.
"Do you hear that, Iroh? That coughing?"
He is quiet for a moment, listening, thinking, hoping. He nods. "I think so. It's over near the rear of the ship." Iroh's shoes slap on the wood, and I swim as fast as I can toward the sound of coughing. There was only one person on the boat. My mind forms his name, but I dare not speak it, afraid that vocalizing my hope will kill him again.
There, near the stern of the boat, is a drenched ponytail, moving in the waves, arms floundering for purchase. A familiar scarred face shows itself before going under and not resurfacing. Without thinking, I dive, knowing there is something wrong with Zuko. Maybe he was injured in the blast. Do firebenders even know how to swim?
Oh, spirits, Zuko, just hold on, please.
The water is cold around me as I dive for him. Somewhere, deep in my mind, I am reminded of a night 100 years ago. Of coldness, of water, of not being able to surface myself. I am the blue light that saved Aang and I.
Zuko's golden eyes are slowly drifting into unconsciousness, and he is surrounded by bubbles. I hope he's still holding his breath, that he sees me, that his brain registers that he isn't dead. His face is all cut up, probably from shrapnel, and there is a bruise around his unscarred eye, and he is bleeding slightly from a gash on his head.
He can't die here, not yet. There's so much more to teach him. For him to learn. For me to learn.
I grab him, pulling on his clothes, tugging him closer to me, looking for reassurance that he is still alive. I kick my legs and my free arm, looking for the surface. He's so cold, and it is frightening. I hope I'm not too late.
Finally, after an eternity, we surface. I gulp in the air, but Zuko doesn't move. "Iroh!" I manage to shout. "I got him! I have him!" I drag the both of us to the dock, and I shove him at Iroh. He grabs Zuko, and I go under trying to push his waterlogged body onto the dock. He is no help. He is lifeless. I scramble up after them, knowing what to do, remembering first aid training with the monks. I tilt Zuko's head and body to get rid of any water in his system, then I listen for a breath, feel for a pulse.
After feeling nothing, I begin pressing down on his chest, with one hand on top of another. I wait. I listen. I keep going.
Everything feels hopeless. Iroh is radiating anxiety and heat next to me, and that is helpful. But Zuko is so cold. So cold.
Finally, his heart flutters and his lungs expand and he opens his eyes, looking right at me. He coughs, turning, vomiting up water back into the sea.
"Thank Agni," Iroh says. "Thank Agni." He's muttering, but he is embracing Zuko and rocking him back and forth. "Thank you, Zia. Thank you."
"He's going to freeze. We're too far north for him to stay in those clothes. Come, quick, undress him and get a fire going. There's some debris over there. I need to bandage his head."
The two of us work quickly to get an uncooperative Zuko undressed and near a fire. There is nothing for me to bandage Zuko's head that isn't smoldering, so I take the orange bit of cloth from my monk robes-the one that I've been using as a belt-and wrap it tightly around his head. The water already did enough to clean his wounds out. It just needs pressure.
He still looks beat up, though.
"Zia, you, too. You'll get sick again," Iroh says, waving at my clothes. "You and Zuko can get under the cloak together." I scowl, but know he's right.
Iroh wraps his cloak around Zuko and I after he gets a fire going. A small one, to not grab attention, though there is nobody else docked here, and nobody has come to investigate the fire yet.
"What happened?" Zuko asks, the fog lifting.
"The ship blew up. You were on it," I say. "I thought you were dead."
After a long pause, in which Iroh sits close to Zuko to get his internal heat up, Zuko speaks, "Pirates."
"What?" I ask, confused.
"The pirates that ran our skiff off a waterfall?" Iroh asks.
Zuko nods. "I saw his iguana parrot right before the ship blew up. They used a bunch of blasting jelly. I used my bending to save myself, but was blown into the water."
"Why would the pirates try to kill you?" I ask.
Zuko and Iroh share a look, and they know. "The pirates wouldn't-" Iroh says.
"-but Zhao would. He knew I would be the only one on the ship. He took our whole crew, and probably knew about your evening walks. He hired the pirates to kill me."
Silence envelops us. I have nothing to say, the adrenaline that once overwhelmed me now knocking me down. I am cold too, but Zuko is slowly warming me up. I'm not fully naked, and neither is he. We're both wearing our underwraps, but both of us are doing a poor job of eyeing each other up.
I try hard to push the heat rising to my face. Our clothes are spread out near the fire to dry, but Zuko's are pretty much toast. There's a lot of scratches and bruises around his ribs. I swallow, because Zuko and Iroh are talking and scheming now. Planning something.
"-and you two will join Zhao's expedition up north. He invited both of you. You will go, and you will smuggle me on to the ship, and we will go to the North Pole. From there, the Avatar is mine."
"There's a bunch of soldier armor outside tents, near the fleet," Iroh says. "But they're on the other side of the path, where Zhao's fleet is."
"Can you go get something for him? His clothes are in no state to be put back on," I say, gesturing at them. "And maybe a thicker cloak for me? I think I lost mine on the run over here. It would be easier for you to sneak around, seeing if Zhao's fleet is worth your standing."
Iroh stands, nods, and says, "I can, but I think Zuko should hide. The pirates probably will be returning to confirm their kill. Zia, you can hide with him; here, over near these mooring lines. I'll be back shortly."
Zuko needs help standing. I pull him up, all muscle and weight. While he gets situated around the crates and mooring lines, I shrug on my slightly damp clothes. My heart cannot take any more embarrassment or hurt at the moment, and I would rather freeze than cuddle mostly naked next to Zuko after mourning his death.
After I watch Iroh leave, I place myself next to Zuko. He is warmer now, and allows me into the warmth and darkness of his cloak. I join him, and my heart stammers and starts. We are quiet for quite some time, watching the flames and boat sink lower into the sea.
Embraced in warmth and exhaustion, the adrenaline having its way with me, I begin to fall asleep. So quiet I almost don't hear him, Zuko says, "Thank you for saving me."