In the barren desert land, there is a flower shop. Inside that flower shop, there exists a secret society. Within that secret society, apparently, there exists a lot of talented old men. How long has this secret society lasted? Are all talented Pai Sho players members of this group, or is playing Pai Sho just a prerequisite?

Zuko and I find all this out for the first time after the old man leads us into a flower shop. It smells amazing; the fragrances waft over us and overpower the smell of our infrequent baths. The old man shuts the door behind us, locking it securely.

He directs his conversations toward Iroh, seemingly ignoring Zuko and I. "It is an honor to welcome such a high-ranking member of the Order of the White Lotus. Being a Grand Master, you must know so many secrets." The man starts to walk toward another door at the end of the building, the three of us following him. Iroh beams at the praise.

"Now that you've played Pai Sho, are you going to do some flower arranging, or is someone in this club going to offer some real help?" Zuko asks, incredibly annoyed.

"You must forgive my nephew. He is not an initiate and has little appreciation for the cryptic arts," Iroh says.

I am overflowing with questions. Has Iroh been in this society since he was being shaped for Fire Lord? Was it after Lu Ten died that he joined? During his spiritual enlightenment?

Zuko shares none of my curiosity. He only has room for being annoyed and frustrated. This only continues as the old man knocks at the second door. A third man opens a small window in the door and looks through. "Who knocks at the garden gate?"

Are all secret hideouts for this society in some place related to flowers? That would be a funny pun.

"One who has eaten the fruit and tasted its mysteries," Iroh answers. The door opens, and Iroh smiles as the two old men step through. Zuko starts to follow them, but the door shuts in his face. Iroh opens the window again, saying, "I'm afraid it's members only. Wait out here."

The window shuts, and Zuko and I are left alone in the flower shop. Zuko huffs, crosses his arms, and leans against a table with a flower pot on it. He sniffs it, but does not savor the smell. I sit on the floor next to an aloe plant, one of the many plants I can identify in this place. It's been a long day, and I feel like we can both use the rest. However, I don't say this to Zuko.

Instead, I say, "You didn't need to grab the whole aloe plant last time." I'm trying to joke about our situation, bringing some levity to the serious predicament we find ourselves in. Fire Nation bounty hunters on one side, Earth Kingdom hunters on the other.

I fiddle with the leaf of the plant, bringing Zuko's attention to it. "Granted, I didn't tell you how to harvest it. Just the leaves themselves are useful, though I probably could have used the roots for something." Did Zuko watch me pull apart the aloe last time, or was he too preoccupied with his tasks to help his uncle?

"Thank you for helping me with healing Iroh," I say, not knowing if I have ever thanked him.

Zuko shrugs. After a minute or two of silence, he says, "Thank you for helping him." Pause. "You could just have easily gone off with the Avatar."

"No, I couldn't," I say, fiddling now with the plant instead of looking at Zuko. This is not the conversation I ever wanted to have with Zuko, since Aang represents a type of hope for the two of us. Hope that we can go back to how things once were, years or decades ago. A life that is not the one for us.

Zuko comes over and sits on the other side of the aloe potter. I can hear his thoughts banging around in his head, how he wants to approach this topic. "Why not? You're airbenders. You knew each other before, didn't you?"

"Well, I'm not a bender anymore. And Aang didn't recognize me after Iroh went down. There was no recognition in his eyes. I was just a person that was with you two. Not Zia, from the Eastern Air Temple."

"Does that bother you?"

"Yes, and no. More no than anything, I think. I wanted to find some part of me from before, since all the people I knew and cared about are gone, dead, reincarnated." I'm winding the ribbon up and down my arm, anxious, thinking too much. Zuko places his hand on my arm, reaching over the aloe plant to do so, to stop my anxious movements. He squeezes my arm, but I still don't look over at him.

"But I'm not the same person I was before," I say. I look over at Zuko and add, "Neither are you." I probably shouldn't have said that, but Zuko doesn't pull away. He looks at me, and I put my hand on his. I pull the ribbon out from between our hands and give it to him.

Some part of me knows that we won't be going to a place where Iroh and Zuko can openly firebend. I don't know where would be the safest place for us, but I know that we will make do with whatever we are given. However, I mentioned to Zuko that firebending is an outlet for him, for his anger. If we go somewhere where he can't bend, will his anger overflow?

"For you. When you get anxious, or angry, or just need an action to separate yourself from your thoughts," I say, pooling the ribbon into his palm. "Wherever we're going, I think it can help you."

I push his palm closed, and I look up at him to find him staring intently at me. I can feel his gaze deepening, searching for something within me. I don't know why, but I squeeze his hand harder. I place my other hand at my neck, feeling the coolness of the bird necklace against the hotness of the room and my body.

There is a lot more to Zuko than just his anger and his desire for something that will never return. There is kindness within him, and love, and tenderness. He demonstrates all of that to me tonight. His hand comes up to caress my face, and the warmth flows through me. It is incredibly comforting, soothing. I lean into his palm.

We are both much different people than when we first met, when he pushed his anger onto me. We are continuing to circle each other, like the koi in the Water Tribe pond. One going after the other going after the other. Round and round, until we meet somewhere in the middle, over the aloe planter, the side of the pot digging into my chest as I lean forward and kiss Zuko again.

We care for one another in a much larger capacity than I can convey through words. What was once a form of hatred at what I stood for turned into a teacher turned into, well, whatever this currently is. A passionate kiss, filling the room with warmth and heat.

The hand on my face moves to my neck, and Zuko deepens the kiss. I want to pull him closer, but I don't know how much privacy we have between us and the secret society room. There is a want bubbling up within me, but I cannot cross it. I pull away from Zuko, breathless. Thoughts make a racket in my brain, and I cannot shut them off.

Can I accept Zuko if he goes down the dark path? The one he started to toe with the stealing? Will Zuko turn away from the dark path if it shows up, offering him everything he ever wanted? Will I follow Zuko if he goes down that path?

"I'm sorry," I mutter, head leaning against Zuko's. "I just. . . I need a minute."

Zuko's small smile fades, turning into something akin to a scowl. "Is it something I did?" he asks.

Well, yes, I think. Or well, it's something you could do. I don't share this with him. Instead, I shake my head. "No," I say. "But it's getting late, and we did a lot of travel today. I think we should try to get some rest. Who knows how long Iroh will take in there."

I stand, stretching, trying hard not to look or think about Zuko. Why did these disastrous thoughts come from? Why did they have to ruin the mood? Spirits, we're on the way to safety, and I'm thinking about things that Zuko could do, things he hasn't yet done.

I wander around the shop as I hear Zuko shuffling against the aloe planet, trying to get comfortable. I start to identify plants as a way to move my mind to a different subject. Don't think about Zuko don't think about Zuko don't think about Zuko.

There, against the wall, is a moon flower. Growing best in partial shade, the cream-white of its petals seem to shine in the near darkness of the shop. I rub part of the petals, feeling the plant's smoothness. Plants definitely help me take my mind away from Zuko.

Here, near the door to be moved outside during the day, is a sunflower. Its petals are closed because it's dark out, but I imagine the flower at its fullest, pointed toward the sun. It stands tall amongst the rest of the plants. I wonder how the owner of the shop got so many different plants to thrive in the desert.

A desert rose in the corner opposite Zuko. It is starting to flower, pink blossoms spotting through the green foliage. I finger a part of the leaves, knowing it must be difficult to get so much sun in this room. I look up and notice that the roof isn't solid. It moves in the light wind. It must be retractable to let the sun in to grow the many different plants in the building. What an ingenious idea.

Eventually, I make my way back around to the middle of the small room. Zuko is deeply asleep, sitting upright. He looks incredibly peaceful, no worries etching his face. I fight the urge to touch his face. I go back into the side of the room, where there's a little room amongst the plants on the floor. The floor is packed down sand and is as comfortable as I can get in this room.

I try to sleep, fitfully waking up throughout the night to unremembered nightmares. The air is fragrant with the blooming flowers, but unease rests on my heart.