A/N: Sorry for the delay. I'm not feeling well. Aches and pains, and other muscle problems, coupled with the joys of being old and grappling with insurance. Such is life.
But an update was promised this week, and now given.
Here we go~! Looking forward to your feedback! Do let me know if you want weekly updates to return for this story! I'll try to be better about that, despite life's distractions:
At present, the (tentative!) given update schedule looks something like this:
Sunday = Foxfire. (barring occasional interruptions)
Monday = Only Day Off (No Updates)
Tuesday = Welcome to Heaven (Tentative)
Wednesday = The Boys (Tentative)
Thursday = Elden Ring.
Friday = Claws of a Lion/other GOT or HOTD stories.
Saturday = RWBY.
As you can see, everything is quite tentative thus far, some stories may be updated bi-weekly or monthly. Other stories like Dance of the Dread and To be Worthy, I write with Advent. Meanwhile, I write Father of Monsters and No Strings on Me with Slifer. These four stories don't always have a static update date. I'm just one old fellow working with a great many others, and we each have our own lives.
So here we go. The fate of this story depends on you, the reader. Your feedback determines the fate of this tale, and many others.
As ever, I own no references, quotes, themes or memes. They're tributes to legends far, far, FAR greater than little 'ol me.
I'm just a humble author trying to make his way in this wild world, one word at a time. Feedback is important.
This chapter doesn't pull its punches! Hope you're ready for some chaos!
"Better scramble like an egg before I fold you like an omelette."
~?
Shall We Dance
Too much negativity.
Naruto grimaced against it with every step he took; it was like a miasma down here, and it was all he could do not to choke on the air itself. He isolated his sixth sense and warded himself against it as best he could, but it still lingered at the edge of his senses like some sly snake trying to wriggle its way into his mind. Lies and riddles. Fallacies and falsehoods. There was so much darkness down here here, so much pain and fury and HATE that it made the angel in him want to lash out. To summon a weapon to his hand and...!
No.
He wouldn't give Sera the satisfaction.
She wasn't right. Couldn't be. Unacceptable.
Just the thought of her and Lute laughing at him was enough to solidify his resolve. And so he steeled himself against his doubts and walked on. It was a lot to take in, but he at least had some small semblance of what he wanted to do-where he wanted to go. Ask his questions, get to the angelic embassy, figure out what was going on. Sounded simple on paper, no?
Verosika wasn't simple.
She was a talker; he'd come to realize that quickly enough, but she was also looker; more than that, a toucher. More than once her shoulder bumped into him, her hip brushing against his with nearly every other step. It baffled him to no end. Only a few minutes ago she'd been kicking and screaming to get away from and yes, while he was grateful she'd taken him for his word, he had no idea why she was so getting so touchy-feely all of a sudden.
What was she up to?
In the end, all he could do was walk forward, listening with half an ear as Verosika babbled on.
"So are angels like, sensitive to negativity, or something?"
"Nope." he took a brief breath to steady himself and mustered a winning smile. "Just me."
"Hmm." the succubus hummed once, pleased by his admission. "Good to know."
Naruto frowned down at her. "What was that?"
"Nothing!" She looked away quickly.
'Hrrrmmm...
Her tail was swaying awfully close to his leg. He brushed it away, only to earn a startled yelp from the young woman. "Hey, hey! No touchy!"
A blond brow rose in mild consternation, but he refused to rise to her bait. "You're the one whose been touching me."
"Nothing wrong with a little window shopping." she looked him up and down. "You're no Blitzo...
"Who?"
"Ex." She crossed both arms before her bountiful bosom and smacked her lips, producing an audible pop. "With a capital EX. If I never see that imp again, it'll be too soon."
Another migraine rattled his temples, forcing him to close down his senses once more.
Verosika saw it. "Buddy just be glad you didn't land on the wrath ring. You wouldn't last the day."
He shot her a baleful look, to which the horned-woman shrugged her shoulders. "Just saying. You really don't know much about this place, do ya, whiskers?"
"Please don't call me that."
Verosika grinned.
She did, in fact, call him that.
On that less than pleasant note, he returned his attention his surroundings.
This place wasn't anything like he'd expected it to be; he'd thought there would be a lot a lot more...fire and brimstone, ya know? He could feel countless eyes watching from the shadows, not doubt intimidated by his holy presence and wings alike. Even if Verosika wasn't, he
Might wanna do something about that...
Ducking into a nearby alley, he dragged Verosika with him into the shadows, heedless of her yelp. Somewhere between one sputtering protest and another as she spooned against him, he pressed both hands together. A brief plume of smoke and the transformation jutsu was done. It didn't do anything for his newfound height, but it did help to hide his...accessories.
When he emerged, he looked much as he had in his old life, much to her surprise.
Verosika balked. "You can change your appearance? Just like that?"
"Yup."
She licked her lips. "Mama likes...most angels can't pull off that kinda hat trick...
He beamed. "I'm not most angels."
"Clearly...
The silence held between them, but only for a moment.
"Soooo you angels can't die, right?
Skirting around a pothole in the street, he shook his head. "Thought I was supposed to be the one asking questions, ya know."
"But its true, isn't it?" she skipped ahead of him to slow him down," Weapons don't work on you. "Bloody immortal. One good stab from those angelic weapons of your and we die. But you? You bastards can't be killed." much to his chagrin she hands clasped behind her back and leaned forward as she began walking backward, granting him a glorious glimpse of her...assets before he thought to drag his eyes upward. "Isn't that so?"
Naruto stubbornly averted his gaze. "Its not something I've tested."
"Hmmm." Verosika noticed his stiffness and winked. "See something you like, big boy?"
...no."
Spinning about, she began walking ahead of him, craning her to expose the slender expanse of her neck. "You sure?"
"Yes." he grunted.
"And here I thought angels weren't suppose to lie-ow!" she yelped as he thumped her over the head, right between the horns. "Okay, okay. No need to get kinky, jeez...
He honestly didn't know what to make of this so-called demon. She seemed to delight in teasing him, but when he actually touched she folded faster than a house of cards. She was far from pure but he'd seen and sensed far worse both in his life and afterlife. Maybe the underworld was something of a mixed bag?
Kurama would've called it wishful thinking.
-I mean, its a joke, right? What you were saying earlier. Don't get me wrong," he came back to himself just in time to catch the tail end of her conversation, "You're easy on the eyes, but redemption? For people like us? Nah." She crossed both arms before her face in the shape of an X. "Don't bother. Don't even try. There are some messed up people down here. I'm not even the worst of them; can't even hold a candle Overlords or the Sins. They're crazy-
An explosion rattled the world behind them.
Naruto looked back with a low whistle, watching a plume of smoke rise into the distance. "Like that?"
"Yeah, like that."
He could hear shouts and gunfire in the distance; he pivoted towards the noise, looking to help.
"Don't bother." Versoika caught him by the wrist, and in a rare moment of restraint, he allowed it. "Its just another gang war. I mean technically we're on...
Abruptly, her face drained of color.
Naruto noticed. "What?"
"We need to go." she yanked his arm and started running. "Now! Right freakin' now!"
He tore his arm from hers, keeping pace easily enough.
"Why?"
She tossed a glare over her shoulder. "This is Carmlla Carmine's turf and you wrecked a bunch of her buildings!"
"Did you forget about the disguise?"
She only ran faster. "I also maaaay have done some stuff to piss her off...
"What did you do?"
"Slept with one of her daughters?"
A bead of sweat ran down his brow. "Maybe you oughta apologize about that-
"No, no, no! Do not mess with her! You may be an angel but she will absolutely destroy my ass!"
A blond brow rose at that image. "Might wanna watch the wording there, miss."
"Ohhhh, so you get that reference but not me coming onto you?!"
Everything clicked into place. "You were coming onto me?"
"YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS-
They sprinted round the corner and came face to face with a wall of lead.
More aptly a number of gangsters holding a great deal of guns, each of which unloaded on them the second they were in range.
Verosika spat a curse. "Ah, shi-
Naruto dropped the disguise, grabbed his new companion by the waist and yanked her inward. All ten of his wings went up and the bullets went down, spattering harmlessly against the impromptu shield he'd raised. Huh. Verosika had been right. this didn't even tickle.
He looked down at her, framed in the shadow of his wings. "You good?"
"Y-Yeah," she trembled as she choked the word out. "Thanks...almost bit the bullet there.
Annoyed by her joke as much those firing upon him, he swept one wing outward in a flash of golden light.
Bullets ricocheted. Men and women dropped like flies.
Crapbaskets. Hadn't meant to do that.
Someone screamed. "ANGEL!"
Another skirted around him and lunged in at his flank with a shriek, trying to slam a knife into his back as bullets pinged harmlessly off his raised wings.
It was a very nice attack. They had impeccable timing if nothing else.
Shame it was utterly doomed to fail.
Naruto pivoted, caught the madman's fist in his palm, knife and all, then yanked with the intent of yanking his attacker off the ground and brandishing him as a hostage to stop the gunfire.
He succeeded...albeit not at all in the way he'd intended.
Much to his chagrin, their limb tore off in his grasp at the shoulder with a wet sucking sound. Naruto balked. Verosika gagged, one hand flying to her mouth to stifle her gorge at the grisly sight.
His attacker howled in agony. "Gaaaaaaah! You shit! I needed that!"
"Ooops...?" he blanched. "Didn't realize you were so fragile."
The poor gangster reeled on their feet, green skin gone greener still. "Can I have my arm back?!"
He thumped them over the head with it and knocked him out. "No."
Rounding on the remainder, he raised his right hand-
"Stop, all of you!"
At that command, the gangsters -mobsters, hitmen, whatever, he didn't much care for titles at the moment- parted as someone stalked through
He took the newcomer in at a glance. Glowing white eyes set against sinister scarlet sclera, tapering off into dark wicked lashes. Her skin was dusky as ash, her long white hair streaked with a touch of darkness bound back into two wicked spikes atop her head -he wondered what it looked like when she let it down- her outfit likewise a mad blend between black and white, right down to the strange leggings she wore. No, wait, those weren't leggings at all. The strange "wrappings" around her legs hummed to his senses, almost distractingly so...
"Envoy of heaven." she spoke the words stiffly, almost coldly. "Why are you here? We're not due for another Purge yet."
"I'm not here for a fight," he lowered his arms. "Your boys started this."
"Then why are you here?"
...no matter how he said this, he was going to sound like an idiot, wasn't he?" Would you believe me if I said happiness and redemption?
Her brow furrowed. "No."
Verosika ducked. "Shit, shit, shit that's Carmilla Carmine...
"Hello, Verosika. How nice to see you again." the Overlord's smile said otherwise. "I'll deal with you shortly." her piercing eyes swept back to him. "If you haven't any business here, then I'll have to ask you to leave."
He stepped forward instead. "I can't let you take her."
"Mierda descarada," the lady Overlord muttered something in a different language he didn't wholly understand at first. It didn't sound terribly flattering. "That girl is nothing but trouble. What do you want with her?"
"Well," he clasped both hands behind his head, "She's kinda my guide."
Carmilla squinted. She squinted hard. "Guide?"
He winced in return. "Its a long story...
She glowered at him. Recognition dawned. "I have no desire to fight you-
"Great!"
-but neither can I let you pass after what you've done." she looked to her fallen fellows. "You blasted through three of my buildings, killed three of my men, maimed another, and now you're sheltering that little puta over there."
Verosika waved sheepishly. "Sorry, I'm with tall bright and handsome."
Naruto blew out a breath and looked Carmine's way. "Lady, if I wanted to seriously hurt anyone, I would have."
A pale brow rose.
"Right, okay." he held up both hands before she could explode. "But regardless! It wasn't intentional. They started this."
She planted a hand on her hip, cocking her body towards him. "The same could be said of you when you came crashing down from the heavens."
He blanched anew, shame curdling in his gust. "And I'm sorry about that, really, I am...but I can't exactly let you detain me here...or her." In truth, he could've flown away. Would've been easy. But that wouldn't be fun, and he had no desire to make another enemy so soon after landing here. "Tell you what, let's fight for her.!"
Carmilla scoffed. "You jest."
"Nope." he retorted. "Nothing fancy. You and me. Right here, right now. No weapons or tricks, our fists and feet."
"I can't hurt you."
Liar. He sensed the falsehood in the air, but didn't call her on it.
"Knock me down and I'll submit to you." he sketched a bow. "I won't even use my wings."
Verosika made an indignant noise in the background. "Hey, hey! Do I not get a say in this?"
They both rounded on her. "No, you do not!"
...very well," Carmine conceded, surprising him. "But when I win this paltry contest of yours, and I will win, you will leave this place in peace and never return."
"Sure, and when I win, you'll let us leave." An idea dawned and he smacked his fist down atop an open palm. " And you'll be my friend. How's that sound?"
...childish." she replied. "Are you certain you're an angel?"
Naruto tucked his wings tight between his shoulders in response. "Are you sure you're a demon?"
Credit where it was due, the Overlord wasted no time; rather than rise to his retort, she stepped forward, warding one arm before herself.
He matched her...and nearly lost his head as her heel swept in.
'She's a kicker!'
Instinct had him ducking with a laugh, delighted by her dexterity. The moment he gave ground she was on him in a graceful pirouette, striking high for his face with three quick sweeps of her legs. She had speed, he'd give her that. He dodged them all, hands hung loose at his sides as he continued to yield the field.
Carmilla didn't retort to that effect, she simply scowled and sashayed forward. "What's wrong? Fight back!"
This time he caught her ankle, right were her leg wrappings were thickest.
His hand stung and her scowl became a small, secretive smile.
So that was it. Angelic steel.
Recoiling, he released her and took a kick to the chest for his troubles.
She didn't use her hands to fight, not once; because didn't need to; she was poetry in motion, flowing like water. He couldn't find the right word it. Until he did.
Dance.
This was a dance.
Perhaps the finest he'd ever known.
Dodging, swaying, weaving, they wove around one another, trading blows as they went. He could've crushed her seven different ways to Sunday, but he didn't want to. She was all smoothness and grace, right in his face. At his height, she couldn't touch him. Even now with him actively handicapping himself, she didn't come close to the most fearsome foes he'd fought.
And yet...!
His blood began to sing.
What fun, what fun, such FUN!
Another light laugh escaped him as they continued their wild waltz, flowing around rubble with ersatz skill.
Carmine clicked her tongue as he slapped another of her kicks aside. "Does this amuse you?
"Why wouldn't it? This is fun."
"Fun?" She faltered for a moment and he took full advantage hammering a spin kick into his ribs, drawing a pained gasp from her lips. "I hadn't thought you the sort."
She struck the ground hands first and pivoted her entire body to sweep low for his feet, forcing him to lift his left leg and block her. Carmine's smile said he'd made a mistake. The moment he did, she dropped down on all fours and somehow flowed around him to lash out at his last leg.
Cute.
He hopped into the air and slammed his feet into her face, sending her shooting across the street and into a building.
Not a heartbeat later she was up and at him.
He spied the burnt out wreck of a car nearby and kicked it at her, only for her to divert it easily with both hands -first time she'd bothered to use them in this fight- and fly at him again. Her heel struck for his spleen, and he retaliated by thrusting an open palm against her collarbone. A mere fourth of his usual force blasted her backwards, yet as she flew she caught a telephone pole with one leg, swung herself around and used her own momentum to launch herself at him anew.
Her right leg soared up and came crashing down in an ax kick, forcing him to block with crossed arms overhead.
Carmine hit hard; harder than he'd expected;
He grinned up at her from the shadow of his interlocked limbs, eyes gleaming a glowing gold as rubble rose into the air.
Her sparkling silver eyes seared down into him with a hint of challenge, the smallest of smiles tugging at her lips, imparting a singular demand upon him. Try harder.
But all that power had to go somewhere.
In a word...
...down.
With an ominous crrraaaack of sound, the street splintered underfoot, forcing them apart.
Kicking of a tumbling shard of rubble, he spied her silhouette in the haze of dust that followed and struck low, hammering a fist into where he knew her stomach would be. A gasp of pain was his reward as the smoke cleared and she took a tumble to get away from him.
He gave chase and focused on her further as they dueled, narrowing his senses upon her nearly to the exclusion of all else, the better to ignore his migraine. What he found there impressed him; she fought viciously but with dignity, there was an elegance to it, refinement one might not expect from a denizen of the underworld.
Carmilla Carmine wasn't good, but she wasn't entirely bad either. She possessed a steely resolve rivaled only by a few; more than that, he could sense a deep and abiding love for her daughters -she had more than one?!- and a steely determination to protect them above all else. And there, beneath it all, a deep and all encompassing loneliness. She'd sacrificed so much for them. Even her own happiness.
"You're a good mom, aint'cha?"
Her brow furrowed. "How do you know that?!"
Ooops.
Belatedly he realized he'd inadvertently spoken the words aloud. He'd pried too far; delved too deep. He pulled back and she took full advantage, falling upon him in a storm of blows. A foot caught him in the face, not harming him, but pushing him back all the same.
"Let's call it an angel thing...?"
She growled and attacked him again, their world dissolving into a whirling dervish of destruction. He wasn't sure how much time passed. Didn't even care, really. He could've ended the fight multiple times, but each time he found himself passing up the finish blow. He was wearing her down, he knew, but he couldn't bring himself to administer that final strike. This was fun. Entertaining, even. He didn't want it to end.
And then someone ruined it.
One of Carmine's men saw an opportunity and took it; a stray bullet whistled his way and on a whim, he deflected it with one hand. It hit Carmine. Or rather, the cloth holding up her hair. Gravity did the rest; those pale tresses collapsed under their own weight and cascaded down her back in a rush of black and white.
Carmilla rounded on them, hair flaring around her. "Deja de disparar!" (Stop shooting!)
"Huh." Naruto paused, the thrill of battle finally leaving him. "You look nice with your hair down."
A spot of high color turned her pale face red. "Your compliment is uneccsessary. I won that duel, clearly."
"Ha?" he rounded on her, incredulous. "In what universe?"
"In this one, Pendejo!"
He didn't need no translation for that! "I had you on the ropes!"
She huffed a laugh. "You were right where I wanted you!"
"Yeah, kicking your ass!"
"Ha!"Carmilla tossed her head back and ran a hand through her long hair. "I seem to recall hitting you several times."
Naruto barked a laugh and butted his head against hers. "And I seem to recall knocking you through a building!"
"Is that so? Her silver eyes narrowed to near, feral slits as she leered up at him. "You seem to have a poor memory, boy. Perhaps we should go again?"
He growled at her, eyes aglow. "Fine by me!"
She hissed back. "Best two out of three?"
"Winner take all!"
"Oh for cryin' out loud!" A familiar voice interjected before either of them could make good on that statement. "GET A ROOM!"
Naruto jolted with a blink, and just like that, the spell between them broke.
Carmine rounded on Verosika, redder than ever before. "Impudent girl...!
Aaaaand that was his cue! Exit stage left! Make like a banana and split!
He didn't dare wait to see what else Carmine might say. "I guess we're done here! Beenfunletsdoitagainbye!"
Quickly, he stepped back, grabbed Verosika by the waist, and spread his wings wide.
Her eyes bulged. "Waitwaitwaaaaaiiii-
Naruto never heard the rest.
They took flight.
A/N: May this whet your appetite! Huh, that rhymed.
Hope you enjoyed this! Would you like weekly updates? Four slots remain!
Felt the need to put a disclaimer at the top of bottom here since the idea of Heaven and Hell has become so hotly debated.
Naruto isn't so much furious at Extermination Day as he is at the idea of it. He's never been to Hell. He doesn't know what its like, only that it amounts to literal angels -of whom Adam is a poor example- are killing a bunch of souls and keeping it secret from the rest of Heaven. And Lute deliberately framed it in the WORST way possible just to upset him.
Of course he doesn't understand. Of course that would upset him. Of course he feels the need to go and see for himself.
After all, we KNOW there are some monsters down there, but there are a food good folk amongst them all.
You can save some, sure, but you can't save everyone.
Reviews are my lifeblood. Without them, I cannot write.
So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...
...Revieeeeew, Would You Kindly?
They keeps an old man alive.
And enjoy the previews.
As ever:
SPOILER! SPOILER! SPOILER!
PLOT DETAILS AHOY!
YE BE WARNED!
Get ready to smile~!
Obvious references are obvious~!
(POTENTIAL!) Previews! What can I say? We've been busy.
"Finally! The angelic embassy!"
Yo~!"
The girl sputtered and dropped her papers. "Ohmygoodnesswhyareyousotall?!"
That was...an awful lot of words at once. Naruto tilted his halo-clad- head. "Come again?"
Somehow, she rallied, much to his amusement. "Right, sooo...I'm Charlie! My, ah, dad couldn't make it, so he sent me...
She offered him her hand.
...nice to meet you?"
Huh. A nice person.
He accepted her hand.
"Right back at ya."
Miles away, a man dropped his ducks.
"I sense a disturbance...
She pinched his cheeks. "Stupid boy, are you really so dense you don't realize you're holding the answer?"
There is great peril considering this, even as a hypothesis, because thoughts lead to actions, whether we intend them or not. Before you know it, we reach disaster, all from good intentions. They used to say that. About roads to bad places. Paved with good intentions.
"I want to be better." He gripped their throat, dangling him over the edge. "Don't make me let you down."
"You're insane."
"Ah, but what is madness if not the path to brilliance?"
"You'll learn, or you will be made to learn. Simple as that."
"Hey, watch it, buster! She's taken!"
"But I didn't do anything...?"
EDIT: Hope you enjoyed! Looking forward to your feedback!