It takes us a long time to melt through the crystals, but Iroh and I follow the sound of a great battle back into the main cavern we arrived in. Aang and Katara are outnumbered, what with Zuko, Azula and a lot of Dai Li agents. I watch in awe, with everyone else, as Aang starts to float, a glowing blue light around him.
I've never seen Aang enter the Avatar State before. Well, I saw him as that giant water monster back at Agna Qel'a, but that was more spirit monster than Avatar State. It is magnificent.
Until lightning strikes.
Hitting Aang.
Killing Aang.
He falls alongside the waterfall, and he's dead. Oh, spirits, Aang's dead. Katara moves quickly with the help of water underneath her, catching Aang before he hits the ground. She floods all of the Dai Li agents and Zuko, knocking them down.
Azula and Zuko are the first to recover, trapping her against a wall and them. She holds my friend in her arms.
Iroh acts much quicker than me, intercepting his family with fire. He jumps down from the wall, landing between Zuko and Katara. He is ready to fight. "You've got to get out of here! I'll hold them off as long as I can!" He shoots flames at Zuko and Azula and the Dai Li agents, and he gets hit with so many rocks.
I can't move. The betrayal of Zuko and then the death of Aang. It has rocked my body to the core. I am filled, suddenly, with an unknown rage as I watch Iroh relax his stance, accepting defeat as Katara and Aang's dead body flow up the waterfall. The green crystals grow over his body, trapping him.
In the silence of the aftermath of the battle, I scream. A deep rage flows out of me, and I jump, landing directly on Azula. I am screaming, and saying, "You're a monster! You killed him! You killed him!" I am scratching at her face, clawing at her hair and punching with my fists. The tears that stream from my eyes are hot and fierce.
She quickly pushes me off, directing the Dai Li agents to trap me just like Iroh. But I can't stop screaming, yelling. I direct my rage at Zuko now, overfilled with emotions. Grief. At Aang and at Zuko.
"How could you?! I loved you, Zuko! We were happy! You're a traitor! How could you! I was wrong about you! I thought you changed! I was wrong! I am always wrong about you!" Eventually, a Dai Li agent covers my mouth with rock, but I am struggling and fighting and pointing daggers with my eyes at Zuko. He looks away.
I can see some blood seeping from a cut on Azula's face from my clawing her. I could've done so much more damage to her if I had my bo, or my bending, or Zuko on my side. Instead, it was just my fists and my nails and my rage. My rage, overwhelming me and exhausting me.
Azula waves her hands at us, directing the Dai Li agents to take us away to prison cells. I can't stop crying and struggling and yelling in my head at Zuko. He doesn't look at me.
Iroh and I are taken to the top side, earth trapping our hands and the rocks still covering my mouth. However, the fight has gone out of me. The long day has caught up to me, and I can barely walk. The Dai Li agents mostly drag me next to Iroh, until throwing us in different prison cells.
I have no idea where we are - everything felt like a blur since I saw Aang fall and Zuko - Zuko betrayed us. Before being put in his cell, Iroh looked just as sad as I did, though was being less outward about his broken heart.
If this is a dream, I'm ready to wake up now.
Please.
Iroh and I are still in our finery from the expected Earth King visit. In anger, I rip the orange cloth out of my hair and pull the dove necklace off. I throw them in a corner, as far away from me as possible. Thinking about Zuko touching me, kissing me, giving me nice things, sours in my mouth like a bad egg.
Everything is wrong. Nothing is as it should be. Zuko wanted to be happy. He told me! Why did he do this to us?
After a period of sitting down, I start pounding on the door. I want to fight. I want to punch Zuko and yell and scream. All the anger and rage and grief is pouring out of me.
I am the last airbender, and I can't even bend!
Eventually, Iroh's voice reaches me, just like when I had the panic attack. "Zia," he says. His voice is so far away, but it still touches me, through all the rage and hatred. "I am sad too. And heartbroken."
"How could he?" I say, head against the metal door.
"He has chosen his own path. But I think he has lost his way."
I want to laugh, and cry, at everything. Zuko has completely lost his way, by throwing away the people who loved and cared for him. I don't say any of this to Iroh, who is probably more hurt than me. I sit in my cell, leaning against the wall, and let the days pass.
On the day after Aang's death, I hear the guards outside Iroh's cell speaking. "I can't believe General Iroh is a prisoner now. A member of the royal family - Fire Lord Ozai's own brother!"
The second guard says, "I know. I served under his command during the first siege. He was a great leader and a great man."
I stand up, opening my mouth to yell at their gossip. However, a familiar voice speaks before I can, "You two don't know what you're talking about. General Iroh is a traitor to his country!"
Zuko!
"Please, forgive us, Prince Zuko. I -"
Zuko yells, "Get back to work!" There is the sound of ignited flames, and the door to my cell grows warm. I back away, afraid.
Why is he here if he's just going to bash his loving uncle?
I hear footsteps pause at the entrance to my cell, and see the edges of Zuko through the barred window. Without thinking, I grab the necklace and orange cloth from the corner of the room, where they've sat and bothered me for a whole day. I throw them out the window slots in anger, and I hear them fall to the ground.
Zuko bends down to grab them, and whispers, "Zia." He pauses there, in front of my cell that he put me in. After my silence, I hear his steps moving away.
I want nothing from Zuko. Not his pity, or his love, or his gifts.
I wonder if Zuko has told Azula my origin, though it is doubtful that Azula would believe him. An airbender that can't bend is probably just an impersonator of the Avatar. I have nothing that binds me to my past, not after throwing the ribbon at Zuko. It is my last tie to the nomads, and it is gone.
Zuko kept me hidden from Zhao, thinking the man would torture me for my secrets. Granted, I have none. I have no arrows, and no bending, and no bison.
I am just someone that traveled with Zuko and sided with the Avatar. I am not a traitor to the state of the Fire Nation, but a danger to the morale of Zuko.
What will they do with me now?
The days start to blend together, and I eat plain rice and questionable water. The guards don't gossip about Iroh anymore, not after Zuko caught them. However, they mutter about me every now and again. A Dai Li agent has spread that I loved Zuko, but my origins are questionable. They also comment on my rage at Azula, and the healing scab on her face.
The fact that I hurt Azula in some way is little solace to the growing hole of my heart. I had placed a lot on Zuko, only for him to turn out like this. I had cared and loved and wanted so much. I had painted and sketched and kissed. In the end, I got hurt.
Neither Iroh nor I sleep much, and I think he isn't eating either. I don't want to talk, because I'm afraid of what I'll say. I bury my feelings of love in hatred and grief. I allow myself to become something I have never been or thought I would be. I am wallowing in the betrayal of Zuko, in the thought that karma will eventually come around to Zuko, that revenge will find its way to him - even if it is not by my hands.
Five days pass. Zuko doesn't visit us again. However, a few Fire Nation soldiers unlock my cell, throw some chains on my hands and legs, and walk me out. I see Iroh has been giving the same treatment. Our once fine clothes are dingy, dirty from five days in a cell and having gone through the cavern to find Zuko.
Two soldiers walk between Iroh and I; we are chained in a line. It is a long walk, but we are put on a tram that is filled with Fire Nation soldiers.
Ba Sing Se has fallen to the Fire Nation.
I look out at the city as we move to the Outer Wall. It is different, though not much has changed. My sight is tainted by Zuko's choice. What I once thought was beautiful is just pain and disappointment.
The Air Nomads were right. We could never live in Ba Sing Se.
Iroh and I shuffle off the tram and we exit Ba Sing Se. There are actual ports outside the city, connected much like the entrance to Omashu. Earthbenders tear down a section of the wall to let us through, and we emerge at the docks.
There are loads of Fire Nation ships, reminding me of when I had first witnessed the Fire Nation Navy so long ago. They are so tall, imposing even against the walls of Ba Sing Se. But I know Ba Sing Se isn't impenetrable anymore. It fell just like the airbenders did.
The gangway is down for Iroh and I to board one of the Fire Nation ships, and I see Azula and Zuko and another girl. Zuko is still wearing the clothes that he betrayed us in, but Azula has changed into the red of the Fire Nation. The other girl is also in red, with dark bangs and buns on either side of her head.
I struggle a little against the chains, the rage billowing out of me. I start to shout, but the soldier knows I yell and stuffs his hand over my mouth. Zuko sees us, and he is shocked, stunned, and somewhat sad. He turns to Azula and says something, determined.
Even from this far away, I see the grin on Azula's face.
Iroh and I are placed as far away from each other as possible. Even if either of us had the mental capacity to have a conversation, we wouldn't be able to do so without me shouting.
The days go by slowly, and the rocking of the ship turns my stomach. My sea legs disappeared shortly after we landed at that Fire Nation spa. I try not to move or walk, despite there being little room to do so.
At one point, I hear my guards talking. It takes me a moment to gather that they are talking about me.
"Looks like the Boiling Rock for this one," a guard says.
"Princess Azula wants to break her spirit," says a second guard.
The first guard laughs, deep and heavy. "She sure is full of venom, isn't she?"
"Well, wouldn't you be too if the person you loved did what they did?" Their voices get quieter as they continue their rounds.
I don't know what the Boiling Rock is, but I know I won't let Azula win, even if it means surviving the worst prison, the worst experiences. After what Zuko did, I can live through anything.