In. Out. In. Out.

In. Hold it for ten seconds aaaaand exhale. In. Hold it for ten seconds aaaand exhale.

In. Out. In Out.

Yes, she was doing breathing exercises. Yes, she was quite familiar with them. And yes, she was still very much panicking despite them. They weren't working but she wasn't going to panic about them not working because that would defeat the purpose of doing them. Even if they weren't working.

They had to be helping a little bit, right? Because she wasn't passed out on the floor. Which would be a bad thing. A very bad thing. She couldn't take her exams if she was unconscious! Would they make her miss them and take her to St Mungo's or would they just revive her and make her go ahead? She wasn't sure what would be worse.

Well, missing them completely would obviously be bad because, you know, she kind of needed to sit the exams to qualify to be an Auror. On the other hand, you always felt like crap when you were revived. Lile you were still kind of out of it, not to mention groggy. Hardly optimal conditions for taking tests. She definitely wouldn't pass in that sort of state.

Basically, it was just better for her if she didn't pass out at all. Hence the somewhat ineffective breathing exercises. That she was now thinking way too much about so now it felt like she was putting far too much effort into them.

Why could she not just turn her brain off? That would be amazing then she wouldn't have to pay attention to all these thoughts because she wouldn't have the thoughts at all. But then she wouldn't have any thoughts which meant that she wouldn't be able to remember things which meant that everything she learned for her exams would be gone. She couldn't have that either. She needed to remember everything except she didn't know everything and...

Time for more breathing exercises.

She wasn't ready. She wasn't ready. She wasn't ready. There was just no way she was ready and that was that. Except, there wasn't anything she could do about it now. It wasn't like she could just not sit her exams. That was ridiculous. Oaky, well, technically she could. There was nothing stopping her but she wasn't going to. This was her final set of exams in order to qualify as an Auror. The end of three years of blood, sweat and tears and Merlin knows what other injuries. Blisters. A lot of blisters because of that daft course that Moody always made her run (her feet twitched just thinking about it - she was actually going to have to run that today, she was pretty sure). Oh, and burns. You couldn't forget about the burns she for from spells she didn't dodge in time. Who knew that stinging hexes actually burned at a certain intensity? And that ear injury that Moody got in trouble for. Wait. That was actually kind of funny.

But funny didn't make hr feel any more prepared. And she should be feeling prepared because she had studied and practice and had had methods drilled into her. On paper, she was more than ready. Yet, she didn't feel like it. Not by a long shot. She felt woefully underprepared. Like she didn't know half the things she should. Why was there so much to learn? Why did they need to learn so much? How could someone possibly know all they needed to know? Except obviously people did because Aurors already existed. Good ones. Excellent ones, even.

Clunk. Clunk. Clunk. Tonks frowned. She recognised that sound. That very, very familiar sound that she was so used to that she had actually learned to kind of tune it out over the past three years. Not that she was tuning it out now with all her senses on full alert.

"Moody?"

Sure enough, Moody himself was here. Well, walking up to her. Why was he walking up to her? Didn't he have stuff to sort out for his retirement or something? Yes, Moody was retiring. Not that it was a fully willing thing on his part though he did not like the way the Department was currently run apparently. But there was also the whole thing of people being scared of him and that he was considered a bit of a dinosaur in the Department. Whatever the reason was didn't really matter though because he was retiring. Which she thought meant sorting out paperwork and the like, not walking around where the exams were taking place! She didn't have time to wonder about that because her exams were today. There was no space in her head for aby other thought.

"Lass."

Well, she certainly wasn't panicking anymore because now she was just confused. Seriously, what was he doing here and looking at her with a raised eyebrow like he was expecting her to say something? So, of course, she just said what came into her head.

"My exams are today."

Which was obvious. Obviously. Why else would a bunch of final year Trainees be milling about the place?

"I know. It's my job to know."

"I'm nervous."

"You're scared," he corrected.

She didn't deny it but she couldn't look at him either so she looked away which didn't work because he tapped her on the side of the head to get her to look at him again. At least he didn't grab her chin and make her look at him, that was something that reminded her of her parents when she was in trouble and downright embarrassing.

"M'not scared," she muttered. He raised an eyebrow and she let out a long breath. "Maybe a little scared."

He hummed in agreement.

"But that's perfectly normal," she continued. "I'm allowed to feel scared."

He didn't say anything. Shouldn't he be saying something? If she was right or wrong at the very least?

"I am!" She insisted maybe a little bit too loudly so she ducked around a corner and repeated herself more quietly. "I am."

He still wasn't saying anything. Why wasn't he saying anything? He should be saying something by now. Or telling her off or something. Not just standing there, staring at her. That was freaky. She didn't like it.

"Say something!"

That actually made him crack a smile, of all things! She huffed and stomped her foot which made him roll his eyes. Stupid git. He wasn't being fair!

"Will you stop acting like a child," he grumbled.

"I'll act how I want."

"Not when you're representing both of us in these exams."

She frowned at him but he just gave her a serious look back.

"I mean it Tonks. You're going to walk on there today and show off how much you've learned. How much you can do. How much I've taught you. All pf which is a lot, okay? You know a lot."

"I know a lot," she repeated obediently.

Because she did. She did know a lot. This was the accumulation of three years of so much hard work. She had learned and improved and learned some more. She could do this.

"Okay," she squared her shoulders. "I'm ready. I can do this."

"Yes, you can, lass. Yes, you can."

And with that, he gave her and unceremonious push towards the door.