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Chapter 18: Tempers Flare

Uther was never exactly a ray of sunshine, but he had seemed to be in a particularly stormy mood all day today. Hunith first took note of it at a morning council meeting. She was sitting by Uther's side in her customary place, as a councilor gave his report.

The man was always a little long-winded, but Uther usually listened to his reports without interruption. Today, however, when the speaker had spoken for a few minutes without seeming to find his point, Uther barked at him, "Get on with it! I don't wish to be in this meeting all day!"

Hunith looked over at him in slight surprise. The man he had yelled at however, didn't seem to share that surprise.

"I apologize, Sire," he said nervously, and then hastened to wrap up his speech. As the meeting continued, Hunith gazed around the room. The whole atmosphere seemed somehow different today. The council seemed nervous. While they were always careful to address the king politely, and sometimes even tell him whatever they thought he wanted to hear, today it was as if they were walking on eggshells, as if they were all afraid that one wrong word would bring about an explosion. Hunith wasn't sure what to make of it. Was it all because of Uther's outburst at the beginning of the meeting?

Uther didn't yell at anyone else during the meeting, but every time he spoke, his voice sounded terse, even for him.

As the council members filed out at the end, Hunith turned to look at him, "Is everything all right?"

"Of course," he said shortly, already rising to go.

"You seemed a bit… impatient with Lord Madoc, earlier," Hunith said carefully.

Uther scowled, "I am simply tired of listening to his endless speeches. He wastes the council's time with his unnecessary addendums."

Hunith didn't entirely disagree, but Uther had never seemed so impatient with it before.

She opened her mouth to say as much, but her husband had apparently decided the conversation was over. Without so much as another look at her, he swept from the room, leaving her alone. She frowned, slightly irritated by his rudeness, but then decided there was no point fussing over it. Perhaps he had simply slept badly the night before.

He's extra grumpy today, she thought, and could almost hear Merlin's little voice saying it, which made her smile.

Hunith didn't see Uther again for most of the day. In fact, when she passed by the throne room, where he generally spent his time unless duties called him elsewhere, she was surprised to find it empty.

She wondered if he would even be at supper that night, but when she and Merlin entered the dining room together, he and Arthur were already there, sitting in their usual spots.

She could tell at once that Uther's mood was no better than this morning. His expression was set in hard lines, and though the food hadn't been brought yet, he had a half-empty glass of wine in front of them. He didn't even look up when Merlin and Hunith entered the room.

Arthur did look up at them, but rather than saying hello, as he usually would have, he just gave them a small nod. The boy looked tense and a little worried, as if he too could sense his father's mood.

"Hello, Arthur," Hunith gave him a smile as she took her usual seat, hoping that if she acted normally, it might ease the tension, "Did you have a good day today?"

"It was all right," Arthur responded nervously, glancing at his father, who didn't say a word, but instead picked up his wine glass and took a drink, "I studied with my tutor mostly."

"Did you learn anything interesting?" Hunith asked, but Arthur simply shrugged. Apparently drawing him into conversation would be a difficult feat tonight.

Merlin was the only one in the room who seemed oblivious to the tension. "You told me the other day that your lessons are boring," he reminded Arthur with a small giggle.

Arthur glanced toward his father again, perhaps expecting disapproval, but Uther didn't seem to be paying attention.

Hunith smiled at him, "I understand. I remember getting bored with my own lessons as a girl."

Arthur gave her a smile in return, though it was small and brief, and he still didn't speak.

He seemed relieved when the food was brought in a few minutes later. As their plates were filled, Uther spoke for the first time since Hunith had entered the room, though only to order the closest maid to refill his wine glass.

For the next few moments, Hunith forgot about Uther's mood, as she turned her attention to her food, and listened affectionately while Merlin talked about how he had played with puppies in the kennels today. It was only when Uther called for another glass of wine that she looked over and saw that he had barely touched his own food.

She frowned slightly. She hadn't seen him drink this much before. He'd usually have one or two glasses of wine with his meal, but this was at least his third, and supper was barely half-over.

Later, as the servants cleared away the plates, one paused next to Uther, looking down at his still half-full plate uncertainly, "Shall I take your plate, Sire?"

Uther waved his hand impatiently, as if brushing off a fly, which the servant seemed to take as a yes.

The next course was soon brought in, and Merlin's eyes lit up at the sight. "Berry tarts! My favorite!" he proclaimed, clapping his hands with delight. Hunith smiled, but she noticed Uther glance over with seeming irritation.

As a still-slightly steaming tart was placed in front of him, Merlin pulled his plate closer with such enthusiasm that the table-cloth came with it, sending Uther's freshly refilled (for the fourth time) glass of wine onto the floor and spattering him with droplets.

"Merlin, be careful!" Hunith admonished, but her gentle admonition was drowned out by Uther's voice, booming and furious.

"Clumsy little fool! Now look what you've done!" He had jumped to his feet when his cup fell over, and now he loomed at the head of the table, glaring down at Merlin, who looked up at him with big, startled eyes, "I… I'm sorry," his voice was small.

"It was only an accident," Hunith said, putting her hand over her son's protectively.

"That's no excuse," Uther practically roared at her, his face red, "It's high time your son learned to act like a prince, and not a buffoon."

Merlin shrank down further in his chair, and Hunith felt her own temper ignite, "Don't you dare talk to or about my son that way. He's not one of your councilors, who you can push around, he's a child."

"Arthur never acted like that," Uther snapped, and out of the corner of her eye, Hunith saw the prince flinch at his name, "Have you taught the boy nothing about decorum?"

"It was an accident," Hunith repeated through gritted teeth, "And he's already apologized. You will not tell me how to raise my son. And you have some nerve giving speeches about decorum. Do you call getting drunk and causing a scene at the dinner table decorum?"

At this Uther grew so red it seemed he might catch fire, "I will not be insulted and scolded in my own house!" he shouted, "You may be my wife, but I am still the king, and I will be shown the respect I deserve!"

Hunith refused to let him intimidate her, "I am showing you exactly the respect you deserve," she told him, her own voice as level and cold as his was loud and furious.

She would have said more, would have told him exactly what she thought about him, but a small sound beside her drew her attention. Merlin was crying now, the tart in front of him forgotten as he rubbed his eyes and sniffled.

"Please stop fighting," his voice trembled, "I'm sorry I made a mess."

Hunith leaned down and lifted him from the chair. "It's all right, darling. It was only a little spilled wine, it's not your fault." With one last angry look toward Uther, who was still looking thunderous, she carried her son from the room.

Just down the hall, she knew there was a small sitting room. It was occasionally used to entertain guests after supper, but it would be empty now. She ducked inside and set Merlin down on a couch, where he sniffled quietly as she lit the room's torches. Then she sat down beside him. He instantly crawled into her lap, and she wrapped her arms around him.

"I didn't mean to pull on the table cloth," Merlin sniffled.

"I know, darling," Hunith leaned down to press a kiss into his hair.

"How come King Uther got so angry?" Merlin asked, his voice small.

Hunith felt another flash of anger, though she took a deep breath to calm herself before she answered Merlin, "That wasn't your fault, sweetheart, he's been angry all day."

"Really?" Merlin asked.

Hunith nodded, "Really. He yelled at one of his council members this morning as well. I promise, you don't need to worry about it, Merlin. Yes, you could have been a little more careful, but that was no excuse for Uther to treat you the way he did."

She tried for a smile, "He's just grumpy, remember?"

"Extra grumpy today," Merlin mumbled, and Hunith's smile grew more genuine. It was almost exactly what she had imagined him saying earlier.

"That's right, he's extra grumpy today." She poked Merlin playfully in the stomach and was awarded with a small giggle.

"But why is he so angry today?" Merlin asked. His tears had stopped now, and his voice was thoughtful.

Hunith shook her head, "That I don't know. But I do know it had nothing to do with you."

"I know why," the hesitant voice made Hunith look up in surprise. Arthur was standing by the door, looking into the room anxiously.

"Come in," Hunith told him, beckoning with her hand. Arthur entered the room slowly, and she could see he was holding a plate.

"I… brought Merlin a tart," he said, his voice sounding slightly sheepish, "He was so excited about them and then, well… he didn't actually get to eat his before…" he hesitated, "Before you left."

Merlin brightened considerably as Arthur held out the plate to him.

"Thank you, Arthur," he said happily, tucking into the tart.

Hunith smiled, her heart warmed by the gesture, "That was very considerate of you, Arthur. Thank you."

Arthur shrugged, looking embarrassed, "It was nothing, really."

He sat down on the edge of one of the other chairs, looking at Hunith and Merlin. He seemed not to know what to say next.

"You said you knew what has your father so upset today?" Hunith prompted gently, after a moment. She looked at him with concern, "I hope he didn't take his anger out on you after we left."

Arthur shook his head, "It's okay, don't worry," he said hastily, "He just grumbled to himself about you."

He fell silent for a moment, and Hunith wondered if he was going to explain further after all. At last he said, "He always gets like this around this time. I asked Gaius about it last year, and he said that it's because today is my mother's birthday."

Hunith drew in a breath, then released it slowly. Yes, that would certainly explain it. The way he flew off the handle at the slightest provocation, the drinking, the sullen silence….

"Gaius says he's not really angry, he's sad," Arthur continued, "He'll be back to normal in a couple of days. He always is."

He looked up at Hunith anxiously, almost pleadingly, "You're not too angry with him, are you? I know he shouldn't have yelled at Merlin like that, but he's not usually like this."

The explanation did help, though it didn't make Hunith's anger abate entirely.

She gave Arthur a small smile, "I understand, Arthur. I know how hard special anniversaries can be when you've lost someone." It still didn't excuse the way Uther had shouted at a small child, but it did make Hunith more willing to move past it.

Arthur nodded quickly, seeming relieved, then looked down at my hands, "She died when I was born, you know, my mother."

Hunith nodded sympathetically, "Yes, I know. I'm sorry you never got a chance to know her."

Arthur swallowed hard, then looked up at her, "If… if I hadn't been born, she'd still be here. Maybe… maybe then my father would be happy today instead of angry and sad."

Hunith could feel her heart break at his words.

"Oh, no, sweetheart." Acting on instinct, Hunith rose from the couch and walked over to where Arthur was sitting. She knelt next to his chair and pulled him into a hug, just as she would have done with Merlin, "Don't ever think like that."

Arthur stiffened in surprise at the hug, but he didn't pull away.

"Your mother's death was not your fault," Hunith said, "And nobody would blame you for it, least of all your father."

"But she died giving birth to me," Arthur's voice was as small as Merlin's had been earlier, when Uther had shouted at him, "Doesn't that make it my fault?"

"No," Hunith said firmly, "Never. These things happen sometimes Arthur. And it's tragic and it's unfair, but it's nobody's fault. Least of all yours."

She looked down into his eyes, wanting him to read the sincerity in hers, to know that she meant what she said, and wasn't simply trying to make him feel better. His bright blue eyes, not so very different from her own son's, gazed back at her, and she could see that he was trying very hard not to cry.

"You mean it?" he asked, holding back the tears with a sniff.

"I mean it," she replied, "The last thing your mother would ever want is for you to blame yourself for what happened to her."

"How can you know?" Arthur asked, "You never met her, did you?"

"No, I never had that chance," Hunith replied, "But I know because I'm a mother too. And I know that if I were in your mother's place, all that I would have wanted for Merlin would be for him to grow up safe and happy, and to know how much I loved him, even before he was born. I'm certain that your mother felt the same way about you."

She glanced over at Merlin as she spoke and saw that her son was watching quietly, his eyes round and sober, and his half-eaten tart forgotten on his plate.

"Your father told me that you're a lot like her, you know," Hunith said quietly, looking back at Arthur.

He looked at her in surprise, "He did? I am? I know that I look like her, but he never talks about her to me."

Hunith nodded, rubbing his back soothingly as she had done many times to comfort Merlin, "He told me you have her kindness, her spirit, that he sees her in you every day."

"He's never told me any of that," Arthur said softly.

"I think it's hard for him to talk about her," Hunith answered, gently.

"How come he talked about her to you then?" Arthur asked.

"I'm not sure," Hunith answered slowly, "Perhaps because… I know what it's like to lose someone you love. I could understand."

Arthur was quiet for a few minutes, as if thinking. Hunith stayed quiet too, and even Merlin seemed to sense now wasn't the time for his normal chatter.

Finally, Arthur spoke up again, "Do you really think she loved me before I was born?"

"I do," Hunith replied, "I loved Merlin, from the moment I knew I was with child," she looked over at her small son with a smile, and he gave her a smile back, though he was still uncharacteristically solemn and quiet.

She looked down at Arthur and was glad to see a small smile on his face too. "I wish I could have met her," he confided quietly.

"I wish that for you too," Hunith said quietly, "But wherever she is now, I believe she's watching over you, and that she's proud of you."

Arthur didn't reply, but his smile grew bigger. After a moment, he pulled away from her, seeming a little embarrassed.

"Aren't you going to finish that tart?" he asked Merlin, clearly trying to make things seem normal again.

"Huh?" Merlin looked down at his plate, "Oh, yeah!" He picked it up and took a bite. Hunith smiled.

"You should come see the puppies with me tomorrow," he told Arthur, seemingly already forgetting his earlier solemnity, or perhaps this was his way of trying to cheer Arthur up "They're really cute!"

Arthur shrugged, "I guess that could be fun." The boys chattered about normal things for a few minutes, and Hunith watched and listened quietly, glad that they both seemed to be back in better spirits.

Merlin asked for permission to go play in Arthur's room for a while before bed, and Hunith gave it. "But just for a little bit," she added, "It's getting late.

The two boys headed for the door happily, but just before he went out it, Arthur looked back.

"Thank you," he said, his voice so soft Hunith almost missed the words.

She gave him a gentle smile, knowing he was referring to their earlier talk, "You're very welcome."

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