Previously, on TAC...

"I know he smells bad, but that's why Appalling invented cologne," she began.

"Uh, I don't think the sun god invented cologne," he said, refusing to use the nickname she had come up with for him. They were both avoiding powerful names, especially for her sake, but he wasn't completely sold on all the aliases she wanted to use.

"...People will do crazy things when they're in love, women especially. You're not the first person to use a girl's feelings for him to get what he wants... Look, it sucks for her, but you did what you had to do. You noticed a threat to Dad's kingdom, and you found a way to get more information and tried to bring it to Dad's attention. You even took a punishment you didn't deserve, and yet never wavered in your loyalty. And you did it all without selling the girl out, which, in my book, is classy."

"You know, in Sparta, warriors used to bond by exploring each other's bodies," she said with a sly grin.

He blushed bright red. "That cannot be true."

"I'm pretty sure it is. It strengthened their bond to fight alongside their lovers. I'm surprised hero camp doesn't employ that strategy."

"You're very famous among me and my children, you know," [Aphrodite] said coyly... "Forbidden love! Two star-crossed lovers, double-crossing, intrigue, deception, heartbreak, betrayal. You've given us the love story of the century, my dear."

Kook reached out and spoke a blessing in Ancient Greek over the chariot, and it began to glow. Finally, with a loud pop, it disappeared. Percy's watch chimed.

Chapter Text

"No. No way. Absolutely not."

Anastasia stomped her foot on the floorboards of his chariot sailboat. They were huddled close together in the cramped below-deck, away from any potential prying eyes, and as usual, the closer in proximity they were to each other, the higher tensions always rose.

"But it makes sense," she insisted. "I know this character so well. And no one would be shocked to see you two together."

"I don't care. You can't be Calli." He crossed his arms. "Besides, she can't leave the New York coast. It wouldn't make sense."

"Some nereids can travel," she countered. "I doubt anyone we meet will know her situation."

"I said no."

"You're not the boss of me."

"I am on this trip."

"Bite me, dog."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you."

She hissed at him, then changed into Annabeth. "How about this? I bet I could do a convincing Annie Beth. You certainly talk about her enough."

"Absolutely fucking not," he said. "Rumors will spread if we do that. And if word got back to her that she was seen out with me in places she's obviously never been–"

"Okay, okay." She transformed back into herself, thinking. "What about Tyson?"

He scratched his chin. "I don't know about that."

"What? I can do a good oaf." She transformed into him, forcing Percy back into the wall as the space in the cabin diminished. "Hurr durr, look at me! I crush things! Peanut butter!"

"Hey! Not okay!" he shouted. "What the fuck is your problem?"

She transformed back into herself, allowing him to breathe again. "Jeez, it was only a joke."

"That's so offensive," he griped. "You can't talk about him like that."

"Whatever."

"Besides, you couldn't stay in character as him and keep up your stupid pacifism bullshit," he said. "Or Annabeth, for that matter. They're warriors. They fight people."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. What about the goat?" She transformed into Grover.

Percy paused. "Maybe…"

"Come on," she said, "didn't you say we're almost there? It's either this or the nereid."

He sighed. "I guess it'll have to do. Do you think you can stay in character as him?"

"Yes. Again, you certainly talk about him enough."

"But can you keep up the appearance the whole time? Remember…"

She huffed. "I've gotten better. I've been practicing. I can stay in disguise for as long as we need."

He looked up. "Okay. I guess we'll see. We're here."

They climbed back up to the deck and looked out at the island looming before them.

"Welcome to Dia," Percy said.

Ahead of them, mermaids lounging on the rocky shore lifted their hands and waved. Instead of sand, the beach was covered in pebbles, glistening under the clear blue water. Percy peered over the side of the ship to see turtles, fish, and small sharks bob up to the surface to stare at him, leaving the resplendent coral reef below. The land before him was far less luminous, mostly barren rock, but still breathtaking in its austere beauty. There were few trees here and there, and distantly, he could make out two buildings: one on the far left corner of the island, and one on the right.

"Temples," he told Anastasia. "One to Uncle Z, and one to the Huntress."

"Ah," she said. "Did you learn why those two have temples on this island in your briefing?"

"Well, Uncle Z created this island," he explained, "and the Huntress set up fort here a while back, I think when this island was still beside Crete. It was supposed to protect Crete. Now, it's moved to protect what Uncle Z cares about most: Olympus."

She scanned the rapidly approaching beach, eyeing the mermaids warily. "Any locals I should know about?"

"No," he said, "this island is invisible to mortals. It's uninhabited. Except for Anteros."

"Right." She picked curiously at the hairs on her chin, taking in their novelty.

They anchored on the rocky shore, and once they had disembarked, Percy pressed a button on his watch, and the ship disappeared. The mermaids gasped and tittered behind their hands.

"Hi, there," he said. "Can you ladies tell me where I can find Anteros?"

The mermaids giggled and whispered to each other. One caught his eye and pointed behind him. He turned to see a stony trail winding deeper into the island.

"Oh. Thank you," he said, giving them a nod.

"Must be nice being famous around here," Anastasia muttered to him as they followed the path. "Girls just turn to jelly over your reputation, and you don't even have to do anything."

"Not really," he said. "I feel like girls never like me."

"Smart girls never like you," she corrected. "You could probably pull mermaids."

He rolled his eyes. "Gee, thanks."

"Well, as long as you don't talk too much. Or trip over your own feet. Or, you know, take off your shirt."

"Okay, okay, I get it!"

They came up to a fork in the road. There was a sign with two arrows, each labeled in Ancient Greek. Squinting for a few seconds, Percy was able to discern that the one pointing left said, "Temple of Zeus," and the one pointing right said, "Temple of Artemis."

"I like our chances better in the temple of the Huntress," he said, and for once, she agreed with him.

As they trekked on, they clambered up and over rocky hills through sparse trees, and occasionally, wild goats with giant, curved horns would wander up beside them and bleat at Anastasia. Percy tried to shoo them off at first, but they kept approaching. Eventually, he smirked at her.

"I think they're trying to talk to you."

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" she said.

He grinned. "Beats me. You're the satyr. Figure it out."

Nervously, she imitated her best bleat. Percy remarked to himself how much it really did sound like Grover. However, the goats only seemed confused.

"I wonder what that meant," he said as she smacked her forehead with her hand.

"I didn't know there would be so many goats here," she groaned.

Finally, they climbed up a tall hill toward the temple, made of weathered white stone. Percy spotted a rabbit nestled in a patch of grass near the entrance and stopped, tensing.

Anastasia stopped as well. "No."

"I feel like we should make a sacrifice to her," he said.

"No. I'm putting my foot down."

He rolled his eyes at her. "Look, I know you don't do sacrifices, but–"

"That animal is innocent! I will not let you kill it."

He turned on her. "Are you going to stop me?"

She met his gaze with steel in her eye. "Don't think I won't."

He glared at her. He knew, if it came down to it, she would break her cover to prevent loss of life. Bitterly, he relented.

"Fine. Trail mix will have to do."

He stomped inside the temple and pulled a bag of nuts and raisins out of his backpack. Unzipping the bag, he poured the scant food onto the altar and knelt before it.

"O, Lady Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt," he murmured, "accept our meager offering. It's all we have."

Wind rushed through the chamber, and a small flame briefly engulfed the trail mix. After a few seconds, it was gone, leaving only crumbs in its wake. Percy felt a strength enter his bones for only a fraction of a second, and then, the feeling was gone.

"What now?" Anastasia asked.

He stood up. "Now, I suppose we find Anteros."

She gasped and pointed. In the entrance to the temple stood a silver deer. It locked eyes with Percy and then lifted its head up. Percy followed its gaze to the sky but saw nothing. When he turned back, the deer tilted its head back, as if beckoning him to follow. Doing so, the two half-bloods followed the animal as it led them around the temple to the edge of the cliff, overlooking a bay. Seated on the edge with his legs hanging over was a man.

He turned toward their animal guide. "So, is that–"

He paused. The deer was gone.

Anastasia shrugged. He shrugged back.

"Um, Anteros?" he called out. "It is I, Percy Jackson. I've come to talk to you."

The man stood up and dusted himself off as he strode toward the teenagers. He wore a sparkly peach suit with pompadour hair and a mic taped to his lapel, holding cue cards as if he were a game show host. He reminded Percy a little bit of the guy that hosted The Bachelor.

He flashed his pearly whites at the two of them. "Well, well, well," he said, his voice rich as velvet, "Percy Jackson."

Percy bowed at the waist. "Anteros. Brother. It's an honor to meet you."

The god arched an eyebrow. "I'm surprised to see you here, half-blood."

Percy straightened up. "I'm here on behalf of our father."

Anteros chuckled, spreading his arms wide. "Well, then, by all means," he said as a fancy table and chairs appeared between them, "sit!"

Percy and Anastasia took a seat with a wary glance between each other. The table was laden with fancy cheeses and olives, like charcuterie. Each of them had a flute of what looked like champagne. Percy took a hesitant sip. Sparkling white grape juice. He tried to mask his disappointment.

"So, what's the good word?" Anteros asked, swirling around his drink. "Why has our father sent a mere mortal to find me?"

"Well, I'm sure you know that he's in conflict with the old sea titans, Oceanus and Aigaion," Percy began. "There have been a few skirmishes around the Princess Andromeda, but he's expecting a full-blown assault on his kingdom."

Anteros smiled, as if amused. "Yes, I've heard."

Percy nodded. "We heard you had spoken to Oceanus. That he's reached out to you. But our father hasn't heard from you yet."

Anteros leaned back and crossed his arms. "Oh, suspicious, is he? He should know me better than that."

"No, not suspicious, necessarily," Percy said. "But impatient. You know how he is." Anteros smirked. "He wants to know what the Great River said to you."

Anteros shrugged. "I don't mind telling what he said. He wanted to know what islands above our father's kingdom were the least guarded." The god set his glass down and traced the rim with his finger. "He's collecting them, you know. Mostly in the far North, but he's trying to make his way southward. He wants to take over island after island and turn them into bases."

Percy and Anastasia quickly glanced at each other. "I see."

"Like Dia?" she asked guardedly.

Anteros fixed his eyes on her. "And who might this be?"

"Grover," she said, extending her hand. "Friend of Percy Jackson, here."

"Ah," he said, shaking her hand with a twinkle in his eye, "friend." He popped a cheese cube in his mouth. "Yes, young satyr, like Dia. Dia was the entrance to Crete, back in the day. Of course, the original Dia still exists in the Mediterranean Sea. This is only a copy, another entrance of sorts. To any mortal that might see it, it is simply a mirage, as ephemeral as it is alluring. This time, it guards New York City."

"Did you tell him about Dia?" Percy asked warily.

Anteros laughed. "Oh, my young half-blood, I don't have to. I didn't tell him anything he could use. I'm a lover, not a fighter." He chomped on an olive. "He and I mainly talked about other topics, anyway. Mostly you, in fact."

Percy drew back in surprise. "Me?"

The god regarded him curiously. "Are you surprised?"

Percy wasn't sure how to respond. He and Anastasia locked eyes again. She had frozen in place, holding an olive in midair.

Anteros seemed a little disappointed. "Percy, do you know what I am the god of?"

"Um, mutual love?" he said.

"Yes, mutual love," he replied, his voice booming like an announcer's. "Or, as some would put it, requited love."

Percy's eyebrows shot up. "Oh."

"'Oh,' indeed." The god speared an olive and a cheese cube on a toothpick and slid them both in his mouth. "That's why I find it so surprising that our father would send you in particular. He knows how I feel about unrequited love."

Percy picked up his glass, then set it back down again. "Wait. Is that why you haven't spoken to our father? You…have a problem with me?"

Anteros tilted his head as if weighing Percy's words. "I don't know if I would put it that way. I typically 'have a problem' with people who do what you did, but since you're a son of Poseidon, I've been on the fence about what to do with you. I wanted to at least give our father time to teach you a lesson himself."

Percy nodded slowly. "And he did."

Anteros squinted, a mischievous gleam in his eye. "Did he?"

Anastasia snickered under her breath.

"Yes, he really did," Percy said, cutting his eyes to Anastasia. Anteros glanced at her as well as she tried to disguise her laughter with coughing.

"I mean…" she began, noticing all eyes were on her, "...you did do her pretty dirty, dude."

Percy blinked once. Then again.

"She was just such a…pure, innocent being," she said evenly, her eyes locked on Percy's. "You could have let her down easy, is all I'm saying."

It was all he could do to keep a neutral face. "I don't know that I could have let her down any easier than I did, Grover," he said testily.

"But, you didn't," she said pointedly, "technically. Didn't you pretend to be in love with her until your brothers put the pieces together? And by that point, she was long gone, right?" Percy gritted his teeth, yelling at her with his mind, but she pressed on. "So, technically, you didn't let her down at all."

Anteros shook his head in disgust. "So cowardly. How dismal it must be, to have to find out on the whispers of friends and strangers that your beloved was only pretending, after waiting so long to hear words of encouragement from him that would never come."

"If even she has heard at all," Anastasia added. "No one knows where she is or what she knows."

"Yes," Percy said tersely, "no one knows where she is. Not even me. How could I have reached out to her?" He turned to Anteros. "I tried, you know. That's why I didn't sell her out when I was on trial before our father. I intended to find her and help her, and then I could have explained everything to her. But not even I could bend her father's will."

"I mean," she began again, and Percy had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes, "I know you had good intentions, of course, because I'm your best friend, but I just can't help but think of how that poor girl helped you, and you never even reciprocated her feelings."

Percy's nostrils flared. "I think I reciprocated some of the feelings she had toward me, actually."

"Hm," she said. "Well, maybe that makes up for it. What do I know?"

"Did you know the girl?" Anteros asked Anastasia.

"No," she said, "I'm just a feminist."

Anteros smacked the table. "As am I!" he exclaimed. "Do you have any idea how often I find myself avenging a young maiden's broken heart because the man she loved didn't love her back?"

"Now, hold on just a second," Percy said, holding up his hands. "Is it really fair to punish people just for not having feelings for someone that likes them? That can't be forced."

"Oh, you're mistaken," Anteros said, crossing his legs. "It's not the lack of feelings that is punished; it's when someone leads on a lovestruck person. Loving someone is one of the most vulnerable things a person can do. To exploit that is despicable to me."

Percy gulped. "Oh."

Anastasia nodded sagely. "I completely agree, sir."

Stop having fun with this, Percy commanded. She bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud.

"I must say, Percy Jackson," Anteros said, "your cowardice disgusts me."

"Hey, look, I'm not a coward," Percy shot back, sitting up straighter. "I risk my life all the time. I stood in front of our father and told him I was in love with his enemy's daughter just to protect her from embarrassment. I'm not a coward."

Anteros waved his hand. "Yes, you may be brave when it comes to risking your own life, but bravery when it comes to matters of the heart is very different. It is easier to be brave when you feel nothing. It is harder when you feel deeply. And harder still to confront the deep feelings of another, to recognize you hold those feelings in the palm of your hand, and to choose to be gentle."

Anastasia wore a self-satisfied smirk across her face. "That's something they don't teach in warrior camp."

"Indeed," Anteros agreed. "It seems that your elders have failed you, Percy, if this is how you conduct yourself. Your story will likely be buried in shame after your time."

"Okay, listen," Percy said, stung, "I do regret the way certain things played out, and I regret my part in them. But I wasn't prepared for something like this, like you said, and I was just doing the best I could with what I knew." He held his hands up in surrender. "And I don't think my story is all bad! Your mother herself told me that she thought it was the greatest love story of the century."

Anteros furrowed his brow. "Who?"

"Um," Percy said, surprised, "Aphrodite. Isn't she your mother?"

"Mother," Anteros said with a scoff. "You didn't do your research, boy."

Percy and Anastasia again glanced at each other, confused.

Anteros folded his hands across his lap. "Let me tell you a story, Percy Jackson. Have you heard of Nerites?" Percy shook his head. "He was the son of Nereus, the old man of the sea, and the brother of the Nereids. He was our father's charioteer, the fastest in the sea. Poseidon loved him dearly. But Helios–this was before the downsizing, of course–Helios was jealous. He wanted Nerites for himself. But, our father would not allow that. So, scorned, the sun god turned Nerites into a shellfish."

"All of that over a charioteer?" Percy blurted out. "Even if he was really fast, that just seems…a bit much."

Anteros stared at Percy. Percy wracked his brain to figure out what he was missing. It dawned on Anastasia before it came to him.

"Oh…" he said, nodding, his eyes wide. "Oh. I didn't…oh."

"Yes," Anteros said, "they were lovers. And, enraged at the sun god's smiting, Poseidon professed his great love for Nerites, and Nerites reciprocated. From the outpouring of their mutual love, I was born."

Percy looked the god up and down, taking him in. He knew it wasn't important, but he just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that his father had had male lovers. It had never occurred to him that that might be possible.

"Does that bother you, half-blood?" Anteros asked, eyebrow cocked. "You twenty-first century mortals like to tout your morals, but in some respects, I fear the world may be going backwards. I remember a day when male heroes were bonded in every sense of the word."

Anastasia perked up. "Sparta, right?"

Anteros nodded. "Yes, the Spartans took part in that, of course."

Told you! she said gleefully.

"No, that doesn't bother me at all," Percy said. "I was just a little surprised. But…I guess I shouldn't be."

"The study of history must be a dying discipline," Anteros said with a melodramatic sigh. "How bleak!" Abruptly, he uncrossed his legs and smacked his hands on his thighs. "Well! I think I've made up my mind," he said.

Percy's heart skipped a beat. "A-about what?"

"About punishing you for the way you led that poor Oceanid on," he replied, and Anastasia covered her mouth with her hand. "You did receive a punishment, it's true, but that punishment was insufficient."

"Insufficient!" Percy cried.

"For one thing," Anteros said, "it was in response to supposed treachery, not the morality of your behavior with regard to that girl. And for another, it was later overturned, and here you sit now, in the full good graces of our father, still arguing with me about the rightness of your actions."

Percy, whose jaw hung agape, slowly closed his mouth.

I'm so glad we came here, Anastasia said.

Percy shook his head, bringing himself back to the task at hand. "But what about Oceanus?" he asked.

"I must say," Anteros said, leaning back in his chair, "I sympathize with the girl."

"But he doesn't," Percy shot back. "He punished her and exiled her and is now conducting a manhunt for her in order to kill her. He doesn't care about her at all."

Anteros tilted his head. "That is true. That much, I could tell. I know crocodile tears when I see them." He smirked at Percy. "And just because I sympathize with his daughter does not mean I would betray our father, even if I disagree with his punishment for love. I'm sure you can understand that."

Percy nodded. "Okay. Good."

Anteros drummed his fingers on the table. "I came here without telling our father in the hopes that I could meet this girl, this Oceanid whose heart you broke. I thought maybe, just maybe, she would be on the run on one of these islands. And because of Dia's proximity to New York City, I thought, perhaps…" He shrugged. "Well, I wanted to offer her revenge. But I suppose punishing you myself is as good as she's going to get."

Anastasia nodded. "So true."

"So, just to be clear," Percy said, "you're still one hundred percent loyal to our father?"

"Oh, certainly," Anteros said. "Again, I'm a lover, not a fighter. I don't have a place in this war. But I would never betray information to one of his enemies, I swear that to you."

Percy narrowed his eyes. "I'm going to need something stronger than, 'I swear it to you.'"

Anteros drew back, looking offended. "Oh, is that so? How about if I swear it on my mother?"

Percy held up his hands. "I was thinking you could swear it on the Styx." Anteros's eyes flashed. "And if you do," Percy said, "I'll accept your punishment willingly. Without resistance."

Anteros weighed Percy's words. "Okay. That seems fair. I accept. And I swear it on the River Styx, I will never betray information to any of Poseidon's enemies."

A rush of wind came roaring past. Percy breathed a small sigh of relief.

"Okay," he said, "so, what is this punishment?"

Anteros smacked the table. "Since you're a brother of mine," he started, "and you have already suffered karmically as a result of your actions, I will go easy on you. I'm nothing if not benevolent." He winked.

"Okay," Percy said warily.

"I'm going to let you choose which punishment you would prefer." Anteros popped another olive in his mouth while Percy glanced at Anastasia. She was hooked on every word, having the time of her life.

Of course, you're enjoying this, he said bitterly. Out loud, he asked, "What are my options?"

Anteros smiled. "Option number one: I beat you with this club," he said, producing a large, thick, solid-gold club out of thin air. Percy's eyebrows nearly leapt off his face, and Anastasia's did the same, all of the mirth draining from her expression.

"Oh," he said simply. "And?"

"Option number two: I interview you for my reality dating show on Olympus," Anteros said, his eyes sparkling. "I want you to be one of my demigod bachelors, for diversity. I'm going to ask you a series of intimate, personal questions on camera, and heavily edit the interview, then display clips of the edits around Mount Olympus to entice viewers, who will vote for their favorite bachelor. The fan favorite will then be matched with the most-voted bachelorette–or another bachelor, if he so chooses–and their first date will be broadcast live for Olympians' viewing pleasure." He clapped his hands in glee. "It's so fun!"

Percy's stomach turned. He looked helplessly at Anastasia, who gave him a tough look.

I think I'd rather be clubbed.

You are NOT going to subject me to that pain, Jackoff.

What about mental and emotional pain?

I don't give a shit about that! Are you serious?

He exhaled wearily through his nose, looking back up at Anteros's hopeful eyes. "I guess…the second one."

The golden club disappeared from Anteros's hands. "Excellent choice! I was hoping you would pick that one," he said. "It's not as bad as you may think. I dare say you might actually enjoy this punishment–but, keep in mind, you only have to go on the date if you're the fan favorite."

"Okay. Noted." Time to give the worst interview ever.