On the sea was a traditional sailing boat being manned by a sailor whose short sleeved uniform showed off his muscular biceps; with his traditional pipes he knew that he had to get to his small fishing town by Tuesday. Get the money that Wimpy owed him to buy a burger. Smoking out of a pipe; he noticed a blonde haired figure fly past with the US flag.
"Nazi lover..." said the sailor and then suddenly the figure then flew down onto his boat and looked at him with an intimidating look at the sailor. The sailor just glared him down. "Excuse me... What did you say?" Homelander asked in a calm voice with an edge of demanding that you get on your knees to apologise if you know what's good for you.
"Nazi lover! Ah never believed ya didn't know Stormfront was a Nazi and people may forget but you are basically promoting a pro-supe master race and ah won't stand to keep quiet about it! Me Gran-Pappy fought Nazis during the last world war! A long tradition of sailors in me family who don't cower to no palooks who ain't on the ups and square. Popeye the Sailor man is me name and I aim to make me Gran-Pappy and Pappy proud!" the man said fearlessly as Homelander shook his head.
"Your folks must have been smoking like you to come up with a stupid name like Popeye and your roided up arms... I am doing nature a favor by destroying a freak of nature such as yourself..." Homelander said readying his heat vision when Popeye ran to with fists raised.
"I yam what I yam..." Popeye retorted as he continued his charge.
Homelander stopped to humor him but was hit hard in the nose and he felt his nose broken and bleeding; "What the fuck..." Homelander demanded feeling his broken nose as Popeye took out a can of spinach and eat it in one gulp. "Let me guess... Compound V contaminated spinach..." Homelander asked as Popeye then went and punched him hard in the gut.
"I eats me spinach! Join yar Nazi loving girlfriend in Heck where yah belong!" Popeye said as he did a muscle man pose and then biffed and buffed Homelander in the jaw. and knocked him out dead.
Literally.
Popeye would later drag his corpse back to dry land and a certain group of Boys found out and a week later Vought, their supporters and all the evil supes out there were taken down by an army of the people they victimised having been powered up by the one force in the universe more powerful than Compound V: spinach.
I have some nostalgiac loving to Popeye as I have seen cartoons in my infant years of the sailor. This is basically a response to having just seen the trailer to the newest public domain horror film by indie filmmakers wanting to take advantage and want to possibly kill the novelty (as I am interested in the TCU started by Blood & Honey) called Popeye the Slayer Man (as apparently next year the public domain is up for the early Popeye comic strips) and at least some of the films like Screamboat are trying to put in the effort like the TCU. My reaction to the first announced film to take advantage of Steamboat Willie being in the public domain Mouse Trap when I saw the pictures... Were you even trying? That was my immediate reaction. Plus a part of me is hurt that this is Popeye's return to the big screen since the late great Robin Williams. Especially as there was the cancelled Sony animated movie from Genndy Tartakovsky which I know would have been awesome but I am conflicted as it was because of that film's cancellation that we got the final season of Samurai Jack after all these years. Plus I put in some cartoon logic at the end for fun because being too serious with Popeye would be just silly.