The doors close behind Azula and she loses it. For ten hours, she's held it together, but she's reached her limit. Her knees hit the floor and she struggles to breathe, struggles to focus her eyes. It feels like the air has left the room, like her legs have stopped working.
"Azula? Azula!"
Alarmed by the sound, Katara rushes to Azula's side. What she sees is shocking: Azula lying on the floor, gasping, crying. A thousand thought shoot through her head – poison? Murder? Sickness? – as she pulls Azula up off the floor and half drags, half carries her into the sitting room, lays her down on a couch and props up her head with a pillow. She's halfway through undoing Azula's armour and robes, expecting to fight for Azula's life once again, when Azula speaks up.
"They've almost taken Jang Hui Island."
Azula isn't dying (although it feels like it).
She's terrified.
"A raid, early this morning. Two dozen catamarans. They landed troops before dawn, almost took over the entire island. The Tenth Fleet barely prevented earthbenders from erecting fortifications."
Enemy troops on the homeland's soil. Almost an enemy outpost on homeland soil, for the first time.
"How could I ever let it get this far?", Azula whispers.
Katara holds her as she falls apart. Strokes her hair as raw, primal screams of terror wrestle themselves from Azula's throat; wipes the tears away. She brings another pillow and helps Azula out of her armour. Lets her cling to Katara and sob all over her clothes, bury her face in Katara's shoulder as if the world will stop existing as long as she can't see it. Strokes her back, holds Azula's hand, even as Azula shakes so hard she can barely keep Azula's hand in her own.
Is this what it takes?
"I've lost", Azula rasps when she's done crying and screaming. "I'm done. There's no coming back from this."
If the incursion had succeeded, she would be dead by now, she's sure of it. Even so, she very well still might.
"You know what I'm going to say", Katara answers, as gently and softly as she can. "Negotiate."
"You know I can't."
"What's the alternative?", Katara challenges. "Even if nothing happens to you, what then? Do you want to be on the defensive for the rest of your life? Scared that any defeat, any setback, might be the last straw? And what about me? Are you going to keep me locked up in here for the rest of my life, knowing that if you fail, I'll die as well?"
She gives the words a moment to sink in before following them up with a final twist of the knife.
"How do you expect to be with me when you'll spend the rest of our lives fighting against my world?"
It's not quite a threat, she reasons with herself. She's not making Azula choose between her war and their relationship. She isn't making Azula choose. Life is. She's just putting it into words.
(She still feels dirty for forcing the choice on Azula, even though it's necessary. For everyone. For Azula's own good.)
Azula closes her eyes.
"Maybe you're right", she breathes. "But I can't. If I offer to negotiate, I will demonstrate my weakness. My back is to the wall, I wouldn't have anything to negotiate with. It would become a surrender by any other name, and if that happens… my life would be forfeit."
"It's the only option", Katara insists. "And the later you accept that, the shakier your position will be."
The tears start again.
"Let me sleep on it", Azula begs.
Katara obliges. Azula skips dinner, but to Katara's relief, she doesn't hide away in the study again. Instead, she brings a stack of papers to bed (she admonishes Katara when she tries to peek) and reads through them, takes notes in the margins, until midnight. When Katara puts out the candle, Azula is asleep within minutes.
The next morning, Katara wakes up to find Azula gone. She eats breakfast alone, and when she inquires about Azula's whereabouts from the staff, she's told that she woke up before sunrise and has been deliberating with the military all morning. She doesn't see or hear anything else all day, and by sunset, she's finished reading The Complete and Annotated Life of Fire Sage Dasheng and the first two chapters of A Comprehensive History of the Feudal Era when Azula finally returns.
"Hey."
Azula just nods in return. Katara gets up to take off her armour and is pleasantly surprised when Azula leans down for a kiss.
We're okay.
"How was your day?"
Translation: what's your answer?
Azula takes a deep breath. Prepares to say the hardest sentence of her life.
"I'll do it."
Katara breathes a sigh of relief, even as the expression on Azula's face looks like she's expecting to sign her own death warrant. Before she can say more, can think of something to say – 'thank you'? 'Congratulations?' –, Azula, pale as death, takes her hand, grips it tightly. Locks eyes with Katara, eyes full of fear.
"Will you protect me?"
"I can't trust anyone in the palace", she continues. "I can't, I won't. Not any more. Not after what's happened before, not now when any one of them would have reason to kill me."
Katara brings her free hand to Azula's cheek.
"Please", Azula whispers. "I need you."
"I will", Katara softly says. "On one condition."
Azula closes her eyes. She knows what's coming.
"When it's done, you must let me go."
What choice do I have?
"I will", Azula breathes, even as she begins to tear up. "I swear."
When their lips meet, it feels like the first time all over again. That soft, gentle uncertainty. Hesitation. Cautious exploration, feeling out where they stand, how far they can go. Azula's tears seep into the kiss, and moments later, Katara's do, too. This time, there is no hunger, no desire in the kiss – it's a promise. A reassurance. A shared fear.
Whatever happens, I'll be by your side.
Something has changed between them, something that will never be the same again.
"What now?", Azula mumbles when they separate.
I haven't thought this far ahead. I've never done this.
I don't know what to do.
"Tell me more", Katara suggests. "Where do we stand?"
Azula nods.
"After you first suggested it, I made certain… inquiries. Investigations into high-ranking members of the court, my ministers, my officers. At the time, I refused to consider your proposal, but nevertheless, I decided it would be wise to investigate all possibilities."
She pauses, wipes a leftover tear off her face.
"Over the last three weeks, my agents have identified several individuals with weaknesses I can exploit to my advantage. A secret male lover or two, an illegitimate son with an earthbender, a half-brother involved with dissident movements… such things, you get the idea."
"Today", she continues, "I've spoken at length with everyone whose weak points I've found."
She smiles a joyless smile. "Can you imagine Admiral Fukushu's husband did not, in fact, die in battle? He defected. She falsified paperwork to cover it up. They all thought they were so good at hiding their tracks."
The admiral's face when Azula had confronted her with her findings had been the best part of the day, she thinks to herself.
"I've made it clear to them what, exactly, will happen if they waver in their support to me. I've made sure they understand that I have the means to destroy their reputation, even if I die, and that anyone who could possibly succeed me would respond to their despicable treachery much less gently than me."
"Hold up", Katara interrupts. "Doesn't that just give them all the more reason to get you out of the way?"
Azula shrugs. "Possibly. But at the moment, none of them can be sure who else is under my control. To band together against me, they'd have to admit to their own sins. They would all have to keep each other's secrets. You don't know these people; they'd be at each other's throats the moment you gave them the chance. But if I succeed, if I somehow manage to make peace… Fukushu's husband could come home. General Yujin's son wouldn't need to be hidden anymore. I might even reverse my great-grandfather's ban on… 'warrior for warrior', as you call it. They all stand to gain from me as well."
"I see."
I forgot how manipulative she can be.
"So what now?"
"I don't know", Azula admits. "I'll have to sell it to the court somehow. I don't need their approval, of course, my word is law, but there will be questions. Maybe even protest, if they dare."
"Then don't", Katara suggests. "You're the Fire Lord. It's their duty to obey you. You'll let them know once it's necessary. For now, you can reach out to the other side first. See what they have to say."
Azula can't argue with that. Katara is right, she is the Fire Lord. She owes nobody any explanations. Father certainly wouldn't talk to the court as if he were asking their permission. He would expect their unconditional support, as he should, and get rid of anyone who refused it.
"I'm… I'm gonna need help with this", she admits.
"No problem", Katara promises. "First, tell me about the situation."
"Where to start? As far as we know, the Earth King has returned to Ba Sing Se, but the military leadership continues to lie with the Council of Five; the King is only tangentially involved. The Chieftain of the Northern Water Tribe keeps a permanent representative with the Council, and the two nations coordinate on strategy and perform joint operations. But", she holds up a hand when Katara opens her mouth, "getting a message to Ba Sing Se will be nearly impossible. Hawks, couriers, they would never make it alive."
"Then we'll send a copy to King Bumi in Omashu", Katara decides. "He'll know how to get it to the right people."
Bumi may be a little crazy, but he knows what he's doing, Katara reasons. And if Iroh trusts him, that's good enough for her.
"And another one to the North Pole", she adds. "Chief Arnook is a proud man, and you already have the disadvantage as a woman in the eyes of the North. You'll want to show him that you take his people seriously and don't just view them as the Earth Kingdom's junior partner."
"Alright", Azula nods. "That just leaves the small matter of writing the actual letter."
Katara smiles and pulls her closer for a kiss.
"Don't worry. We can do it."
It's surreal, she muses while they set up in the study and Azula sends for wax, a fresh stack of parchment with the Fire Lord's coat of arms on it, and sandwiches. Three years and suddenly there's an end in sight. Peace. Freedom. I could finally go home.
Once everything arrives, they get to work. A couple of sheets with failed attempts are discarded and burnt before Azula settles on a greeting.
"How's this? 'We, Azula, ruler and sovereign of the Fire Nation'—"
"Descendant of Avatar Roku", Katara adds and Azula chokes on her words.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Descendant of Avatar Roku", Katara repeats. "Zuko told me. You can ask the Sages if you don't believe me. He was your mother's grandfather."
Azula will need to let that sink in later. Confirm it, of course. It seems unbelievable. But for now…
"And why, exactly, do you think it belongs in the first line?"
"It's going to catch them off-guard", Katara explains. "Zuko didn't even know until his uncle told him. If he, or any of the others, see your letter, they'll be surprised you know. They'll want to know how you know. And since it's not exactly something you would be proud of, it'll help to show them you're serious, that you really want peace."
Azula raises an eyebrow, but she can't dispute that argument.
"Fine. Okay. 'We, Azula, ruler and sovereign of the Fire Nation, descendant of Avatar Roku…'"
The moon rises higher up the sky as they keep writing. Sentences are considered and rejected, paragraph upon paragraph is slowly decided on, and the plate of sandwiches has long emptied.
"You should make the first step", Katara suggests. "Stop all attacks for now. They'll have an easier time believing you when they're not under fire."
"I might as well surrender right away", Azula scoffs. "I come crawling to them, begging to talk about peace, and I stop fighting? I'll make my position look weakier than it already is."
"You said a new fleet of battleships are almost ready, right? Do they know about it?"
Azula shakes her head. Not that she knows of.
"Then deploy them along the border. Make sure they can see them, but don't get close enough to risk a confrontation. If they get your peace offer while they see new warships, it'll make you look stronger than you are. You'll be negotiating because you want to, not because you have to."
"Fair point. Where do we put that?"
And here I am, giving military advice to the Fire Lord. Tui and La, forgive me.
It's well past midnight when they're done. Three identical letters lie on the desk in front of them, and a copy for Azula to keep.
We, Azula, ruler and sovereign of the Fire Nation, descendant of Avatar Roku, keeper of the Gates of Azulon, and Fire Lord by Agni's grace, hereby wish to extend an offer of peace and understanding to Kuei, Earth King in Ba Sing Se; Arnook, Chieftain of the Northern Water Tribe, and Hakoda, Chieftain of the Southern Water Tribe, as well as Aang, Avatar and Last of the Air Nomads.
For too long, the sons and daughters of our nations have died in a war begun long before our generations. We hereby denounce Our father Ozai, whose arrogance and lack of foresight nearly condemned Our glorious nation and whose shameful defeat and flight have dishonoured him forever in the eyes of Our people. We do not wish to be saddled with a war that is not Our own; We do not claim Our father's ambitions nor goals.
We graciously offer Our hand to the Earth Kingdom and the Water Tribes, in hopes that they shall make the wise decision to help Us bring an end to this misguided conflict Our forefathers have bequeathed unto Us.
To this end, We honour You with an invitation. A ship will be waiting under a flag of peace off the Western Air Temple. It will take You, or any delegates You choose, to Our homeland, where You shall enjoy the fullest affordances worthy of diplomatic guests of Your noble birth and positions. We personally guarantee that no harm will come to You for as long as You enjoy Our hospitality, and that You will be returned to a landing of Your choosing at any time You wish. Any escort You wish to bring may accompany you.
Make no mistake, however, for We are fully prepared to meet Your rejection with unrelenting force, should You respond to Our kind offer with steel and death. The lands of the Earth Kingdom shall be soaked in blood, should You force Us to continue this war, for We will make Our father's campaign Our own and not rest ere We have completed it.
We assure You of Our sincerity in both of these points and encourage You to prove that Your wisdom is as strong as Your swords are sharp. As a sign of Our good will, We have ordered an end to all raids and attacks for the time being, that You may consider Our offer at Your leisure.
"It's a bit arrogant", Katara frowns. "But I suppose any nicer and it wouldn't sound like you any more."
Azula graciously ignores the last part. She can hardly blame Katara for not being familiar with formal writing.
"I'm still not sure about adding Aang to the greeting", Katara muses. "We have no idea if he's still alive."
"We've been over this. If he is alive, they'll think I know and assume my spy network reaches farther than it does. If he's not… wasted ink, nothing else."
"Do you think he is?"
There's an almost pleading tone to Katara's voice that softens Azula's apprehension.
"Possibly. Nobody's seen him, but… there have been signs. Attacks on military installations with a surprising lack of casualties. Saboteurs breaking into places they shouldn't be able to get into without airbending. Nothing's certain, but… he may be alive."
Katara sends a silent prayer to the spirits. Azula notices and lays an arm around her. Pretends not to notice the single tear escaping Katara's eyes.
"We'll have peace", she promises. Or if not, she silently admits, they will probably die trying. "If he's alive, you'll see him again."
Katara nods and looks up at Azula with those deep, blue eyes that Azula can't resist anymore. Azula bends down and presses a kiss to her lips, a silent promise.
She makes sure to send Katara out of sight before she summons a servant to send the letters. She makes sure to swear him to secrecy, makes sure he understands the consequences if he breathes a single word about it.
It's done.
When they go to bed, both of their thoughts are on the future.
Going home… what will I do? Where will I go? Is Gran-Gran still alive? My dad? Sokka?
If she leaves, what will I do? She'll be going back to her people. What will that mean for us? Do I have to lose her to keep her alive?
They find solace in each other's arms, falling asleep just before the sun rises.
A/N: Here we go, here we fucking go!