Chapter Three: Picking Up Good Vibrations

Elena Gilbert

User192011211518: Guess whoooooo?

Oh, for crying out loud!

Elena pitched her elbows on her desk and dropped her head in her hands. She knew instantly that the asshole from last night had set up a different profile. She'd had a hectic Monday back at work – five clients were releasing books this upcoming weekend – and she did not need a continuation of last night's argument.

Elena removed her head from her hands, straightened her back, and sighed, looking up at the clock. One hour until she finished work. Nobody else in the office was hitting their targets as efficiently as she was, and they were already winding up for the day.

Caroline, who sat opposite her, was using her computer for online shopping, in clear view of their boss, Klaus, who was in the executive office behind her, with its floor-to-ceiling windows. Klaus was, no doubt, sending her flirty messages, given the way Caroline kept picking up her phone, rolling her eyes, and placing it flat on the desk again. And Bonnie was on the far side of the office, with the design team, chatting on the phone to her boyfriend, Enzo. Physically, they were all here, but mentally they had clocked out already.

But just because nobody else was busy, it didn't mean Elena needed extra non-work-related stress this afternoon. She took hold of her phone, fully prepared to block the new profile, but then noticed another message.

User192011211518: Please don't block me again. I'm sorry for what I said last night... and I need to confess something to you.

She was ashamed to admit that intrigued her. Curiosity killed the cat, she warned herself – except she was not the single, cat-owning spinster he thought she was, so in this scenario, no cat was at risk. Or maybe she was just using a literal interpretation of the proverb as an excuse to probe further.

ElenaGAuthor: I'm at work. Be quick.

User192011211518: Okay, I'm stalking you.

Elena drew her chin back in shock, blinking at the words on the screen. She wasn't so much horrified as confused. It was pretty evident this weirdo was roaming around in stalker territory, given that he'd set up a new profile to contact her again, but the guy was clearly lost in this strange new land he'd entered.

ElenaGAuthor: You don't tell someone you're stalking them, idiot!

User192011211518: No? Whoops, my bad.

ElenaGAuthor: No, you don't – because now I could take this message to the police, and you've just admitted your crime and they can arrest you.

User192011211518: Damn, I wouldn't want that. I wouldn't get to stalk you anymore, and I'm too pretty to go to prison. Speaking of which... check out my new profile picture.

Elena sighed. Why was she doing this? She minimized the chat and clicked on the thumbnail image.

Oh, that was so NSFW!

She immediately closed the image. Her eyes had been drawn immediately to the V-line muscles that led down into the waistband of his gray sweatpants. Yes, gray sweatpants! Both visuals combined were kryptonite to women, creating sensations she didn't want in places she didn't want them to be. She thought he had no idea about women, but this guy had certainly done his homework at the last minute. Not to mention he had his thumbs tucked into the waistband, looking like he was ready and willing to take them off any second... and his forearm muscles were extremely biteable.

Why did women get that urge to bite men who were tasty? She'd skipped lunch, so maybe she was just hungry. It had to be that.

Swallowing down that sudden hunger, Elena fired an aloof message back at her stalker.

ElenaGAuthor: There's no way that's you.

It had looked like the same body she'd seen last night though.

User192011211518: That was quick. I expected you to linger on that photo for at least a minute. Did you check out the biceps?

ElenaGAuthor: Actually, I prefer forearms.

Why was she telling him this?

User192011211518: Ah, so that's what got you going, eh? Was it too hot to handle? Saving it for later? A little private time with my photo and the Rose Toy?

Rose Toy? Wait, what?!

ElenaGAuthor: How do you know I own a Rose Toy?

User192011211518: Because I'm in your apartment, dropping off some flowers to apologize. Roses, actually – isn't that a funny coincidence? Do you own a vase, or should I just put them on the coffee table next to your Rose Toy? Strange place to keep it – don't you have a secret drawer for that kind of thing?

What?! There was no way she had read that right.

He was in her apartment? In her apartment?!

Elena stood up sharply from her chair, staring at the message, her phone gripped tightly in her hand. After reading it several times and realizing the words weren't going to change, her other hand slapped against the desk to keep her upright while she slumped forward, struggling to breathe through the panic.

Caroline looked up at her from her desk, her eyebrows lowered in concern. "Elena, are you okay? What happened?"

She didn't have time to explain. Running over to the executive office behind Caroline, Elena burst through the door. "Klaus, I need to leave an hour early – someone has broken into my apartment!"

Her boss, Klaus, didn't react to the news, except to pretend to stare at his computer instead of the phone where he was anticipating a response to his flirtations with Caroline any year now. He spoke calmly. "And last week your parrot needed to be collected from the vet because the diarrhea you thought it had turned out to be guacamole you dropped on the floor of your living room."

"Klaus, please, this is serious!"

"Serious is what the police are for, Elena."

Of course! Why didn't she think of that?! She leaned back against the doorframe, typing out a message to the crazy stalker, paying no attention to Caroline, who came over and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Elena didn't care whether this lunatic got arrested or not, she just wanted him out of there – she felt violated at the thought of him invading her home.

ElenaGAuthor: I'm calling the police!

User192011211518: Please don't do that. I got you takeout. I'm just dropping it off and then I'll leave.

He what?!

He... what?!

Elena's panic was turning into confusion. He broke into her home to drop off flowers and a takeout?! Who the hell does that? It was like something out of her damn books! No, no, no, this was nothing like that – this was out of order! It was disgusting, it was despicable, it was...

Her stomach started growling in a little "hip hip hooray" at the news as she remembered she hadn't eaten since early that morning. No, this didn't make it any better – her body was just being a traitor. So why was she feeling a little less violated all of a sudden?

ElenaGAuthor: What do you mean, you got me takeout? You think picking me up some Wendy's is going to make up for the fact that you broke into my home?! You're sick in the head!

User192011211518: Your favorite food is seafood – I know because you took part in the Five Favorites online interview with other authors for World Book Day – so I thought you might like the platter from Siren Shelley's restaurant. I got two – and some wine – so come back with some friends if it makes you feel safer. I'll be gone by the time you get here. But if you call the police, I'll have to tell them to take it all away as evidence.

Was he for real? What kind of pathetic attempt at blackmail was this?

Her stomach grumbled again.

Shut up and stop taking his side, she mentally told it.

This was insane – he was insane! Siren Shelley's? She'd only been there once before and had to order the cheapest item on the menu. That platter cost over $300, and he'd bought two? What the hell was happening? Who the hell was this guy, and how did he know where she lived?

Caroline had now grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing Elena to look at her. "Elena, what's going on? Tell me!"

Elena couldn't speak – she didn't know what to say – so instead she passed Caroline her phone, showing her the message thread.

Another message had already popped up.

User192011211518: Do you want me to put the wine in the fridge?

Caroline scrolled back through the stalker's messages and then, with resolute firmness, pressed down on the voice message button and held the phone up to her mouth. "Listen, you twisted, despicable freak, get the hell out of my friend's apartment right now and never contact her again, else your ass is going straight to jail! And, just so we're clear, white wine goes in her fridge. Red wine shouldn't be paired with seafood, so if that's what you've got her then you're an idiot as well as a freak!" She released the button, shooting the message over to the stalker, and handed the phone back to Elena, confident that she had taken care of the situation.

Klaus raised his eyebrows, impressed. "Well, since Caroline has, no doubt, struck fear into the heart of the intruder, you can both –"

"We're leaving," Caroline interrupted. "Bonnie too. We have wine to drink, expensive seafood to eat, and a very serious problem to deal with."

"I didn't say you could leave," Klaus informed her.

Caroline ushered Elena from the office doorway, telling her to get Bonnie. Then she stepped inside, closed the door, and squared up to Klaus, crossing her arms. "I didn't say that you could send me dirty messages all afternoon, but I'm sure Stefan would be very interested to read them."

Klaus leaned back in his chair, interlocked his fingers, and looked up at her from under his brows. Stefan was his boss and – given that it took one to know one – seemed to have a secret crush on Caroline. Klaus suspected Caroline felt the same way about Stefan. It was tragic really, all that yearning and neither of them wanting to disclose their feelings or ruin their friendship.

So, it was no surprise that someone as fiery as Caroline had to release all those pent-up emotions at some point – on someone. Klaus smirked, ready to call her bluff. "Well, perhaps Stefan would be very interested to learn that we slept together." He let out a dramatic sigh. "I would probably have to write a long report for him to read with all the sordid details... particularly how you enjoy a finger in the –"

"Dont!" Caroline snapped, thrusting her hands out in a stopping motion and scrunching her face in disgust. No, she didn't want Stefan to know that, and Klaus knew it. She let out an exasperated groan before opening up his door and repeating, "We're leaving."

Klaus didn't argue further. Truth be told, he didn't really care. He just needed to match Caroline's attitude before she truly believed she was the boss of him. He only liked her that way in the bedroom. "Don't get too drunk this evening, Caroline," he warned her playfully. "You might be tempted to message me back."

Caroline narrowed her eyes at him as she left. "Don't count on it."