Confessional - Jayshawn
"Holden? Fuck that guy."
Confessional - Holden
"Can't say I was expecting Athena to be the reason for us winning. She's usually this weird, chirpy-voice freak, but today she actually gave me a reason to not fantasize about skinning her. Hopefully that keeps up. Now, I can fantasize about skinning Jayshawn."
Confessional - Athena
"Today's challenge was so scary. I think I messed up really badly when Queen had to rescue me... so, I found it in myself to tuck that fear away and come up with a winning plan for the team. Now, I think everything's okay!" she chirped. "Fear is only as bad as your mind makes it out to be. But it's all in the mind! I just wish... I just wish that I could understand that with... how I feel about myself and stuff."
Confessional - Alanna
"I'm really feeling something for Stephen. I don't know what it is exactly- I-I just- I want him to be okay, you know? I want him to know there's someone else in the world that shares the kind of pain he must be feeling. Or, have shared it. Maybe. I don't know for sure; he's so damn mysterious..."
Confessional - Izzy
"That Scary Girl is the spawn of Satan himself. I have to find some way to get rid of her, and I don't mean from the competition. I mean from breathing air on this planet. The longer she lives, the worse society's chances are for survival."
Confessional - Lauren
"I broke a squirrel's neck on the way back to the academy!" She stampeded her feet against the library floor, squeaking and giggling.
Confessional - Jayshawn
"Iko? Fuck that guy too!"
Confessional - Bowie
"Getting real tired of all this losing. Three challenges in a row? That's really pressing on my buttons. I think it's pretty obvious who deserves to go home after today's performance."
End of confessionals
Later into the evening, for the second time, the Grads were gathered on the stage of the Million Dollar Academy auditorium. Mercutio, Tracy, and Brook sat in the audience while the Grads awaited their diplomas-diplomas they weren't ever guaranteed. Standing beside Zee, Fish very slowly crept his fingers, pinch position ready, for his ass.
"Come on, dude," Zee whimpered, sweat beading at his forehead. "I've got a family. I've got kids to feed."
Pinch.
"Ayie!"
"Settle down, Zee," Mercutio urged. "Today, you lot sure dropped the ball against the Dropouts. Let's just be honest here; in the second challenge, the Dropouts wiped the floor with your four representatives. I wonder if one of those four will be going home tonight?"
Jayshawn stared off into space, annoyance built up within him. Bowie glared over at Izzy. Londyn tugged at Fish's graduation gown sleeve.
"I didn't do that badly today, did I?"
"No, baby, you were an angel out there. A heavenly little angel."
"Aw, you're so-"
"Enough," Mercutio interrupted. "I suppose we shall see. The first person safe is Stephen. Next...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Bowie."
"Swish!"
"...
...
...
...
...
...
Jayshawn."
"Oh, fuck yeah, baby, yes! Fuck yes! Mmm!"
"Must we be so vocal?" Mercutio complained. "Next, Cody...
Cody caught his diploma and chuckled. "Looks like-"
"Don't speak," the host commanded, his voice cold as ice.
Highly disturbed, Cody cleared his throat and nodded, heading offstage.
"Londyn."
"Oh, thank god," she whispered under her breath.
"...
...
...
...
...
...
Noah...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Zee. That leaves three of you. Next one safe is...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Izzy."
Realization struck Fish. He was now alone on the stage with Alanna. "Uh oh."
"The final Grad safe is...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Fish."
"What the fuck? I mean-yes! Boom, bitch! Get fucked, nerd," he taunted Alanna, bounding offstage.
"Me?" she burst. "But why? What did I do?"
"Brook, get her on her way," Mercutio urged.
"Wait. Wait, please." Alanna made her way offstage to approach Stephen. The look of conflict and pain in his eyes was even more intense than usual. He couldn't meet eyes with her. Without another word, Alanna reached to hold Stephen's hand, but he jerked away.
"Don't," he snapped.
"I don't- I don't understand," she whispered.
"Just don't. Just..."
"I'm sorry I couldn't stay to help you."
"I don't need your help. I don't deserve your help. Just leave and never come back."
"Stephen," Mercutio's voice was stern. "Leave her be."
Feeling her heart in her throat, Alanna watched with dismay as Stephen stormed out of the auditorium, refusing to take one more glance at her.
"Did he..."
Speechless, she allowed Brook to gently take hold of one of her arms.
"I-I-I'm sorry," the intern peeped. "May we go now?"
Struck with disappointment and sorrow, Alanna finally obliged, turning and walking out of the auditorium with a complete absence of pep.
"Bye, Alanna," Londyn called out.
Without even performing all that badly in the challenge, her time on Total Drama Million Dollar Academy had ended with a whimper, not a bang.
The shot faded to black, then returned in black and white to unveil a flashback of earlier that evening. Bowie walked around one side of the academy, overhearing the sound of an argument. He turned to see that Jayshawn and Fish were the culprits. Fish leaned against the losing team garage while Jayshawn paced around in front of him, quite worked up.
"Maybe, but you weren't exactly stellar either, all right?" Fish argued.
"You ought to shut your mouth, 'cause you ain't got the right. Aight? You did a grand total of fuck-all."
He scoffed. "'Fuck-all' he says. Yeah, right. Who sprayed water into the burning building? Huh? Without me, Izzy would have had a much worse chance getting Tracy out of there, all right? Sheesh, son, grow a brain."
"Fuck you, man. My brain so big, it could split off into two brains."
"Oh, really?"
"So you doused a building. It meant nothing; at least I kicked somebody's ass."
"They tricked you, you oaf!" Fish argued. "Don't you get it? Their plan was for Holden to come stop us from doing anything. You fell right into it, wrestling with him like some kind of gay faggot. At least I was doing something."
"The point is, Fish, I did more than you did. Other than that, I'm stronger than you are-I'm more alpha, aight? If this team wants to pick one of us off, it makes more sense for it to be you. That's why I say we get rid of Londyn."
"Nah, nah, nah, not Londyn."
"Why?"
"Because I can use her. And because she's hot."
"Some real dickbrained criteria right there, Trout."
"'Scuse me," Bowie interjected, strolling up to join them. "Hope I'm not bothering you any more than Fish bothers me by not getting with the times. 'Faggot'. Really?"
"What do you want, nigga?"
Jayshawn shoved Fish. "Would you knock that shit off? You ain't got no fuckin' pass, man, fuck outta here."
"Yeah, all right, that stops right now or I'm just gonna keep my thoughts to myself," Bowie replied.
"Yeah? And what thoughts are those?" Fish asked.
"Thoughts that could keep your sorry ass in the game. You're not exactly popular, k?"
"What do you know?"
"Plenty. I know-"
"Hey."
Bowie halted, turning around to see where Jayshawn and Fish were now staring at Stephen. The guy had come up unexpectedly, standing with his hands in his pockets and his eyes to the pavement. There was silence for a moment, as the newcomer didn't say anything else.
"Hi, Stephen," Bowie greeted him. "You need a little help with something?"
Fish scoffed. "We wanna talk about getting with the times? That guy needs to-" He kept talking, but Stephen spoke over him.
"You guys can convince other people to vote for someone?"
The guys nodded at each other.
"You have someone in mind? Question mark?" Bowie wondered.
Stephen took a deep breath. He still wouldn't face them. "Alanna. Tell everyone she... I don't know. Tell them something. Just, will you do that?"
The guys paused.
Jayshawn shrugged. "Uh, yeah, I think that could work."
"Done," Fish nodded. "Keeps me in the game."
"That shouldn't be a hard pitch," Bowie added. "Just, can I ask why, Stephen?"
"No," he mumbled, turning to walk away. "Just do it."
"Stephen, come on."
"Fuck. Off."
As he departed, Bowie shook his head, and Fish started to crack up.
"Man! That guy is one pathetic scumbag, eh?"
"Weird dude," Jayshawn mentioned.
Bowie faced his teammates. "Well, namaste and goodbye, boys. Looks like I don't actually have anything to say to you; Alanna's going home."
"Well, hold on, what were you gonna say?"
"A gentleman never reveals his secrets. Or, is that a magician?" He shrugged, then turned and strolled away.
Confessional - Bowie
"Not really sure what was going on between Alanna and Stephen. I didn't get a chance to look too closely into it. For whatever reason, Alanna's gone, which is fine. Another one down, and soon enough, Stephen and all the rest will go, too. It might be worth looking into what makes Stephen tick, but I've got time for that."
End of confessional
- Episode 4: Dodgebrawl II: Electric Boogaball -
The episode began as the others did: Jayshawn with a microphone in hand out in front of the academy building.
"What in the absolute fuck is up, y'all? Last time on Total Drama Million Dollar Academy! Uh, Bowie went around spying on people, like some kind of weirdo-ass mo'fucka. I get wanting to get dirt on your opponents, but what the fuck, man? Let people do their shit in peace. If Fish and Londyn are tryna kiss up on each other, let 'em, feel me? Otherwise, you just a cuck. After that, we ended up doing some firefighting challenges, rescuing our teammates and stopping the other team and shit. Shit was all butterflies and leprechauns for my team, 'til it turned out that choosing Athena for the other team in the second challenge was our undoing. Honestly, I think this is that bitch-ass Fish's fault; that mothafucka barely did anything. Londyn, too. Just standing around looking pretty, huh? Some team I got.
"Later on, Stephen came up to me, Fish, and Bowie, askin' us 'bout gettin' rid of Alanna for him. Shit was weird, but I didn't care enough to ask questions. Now, Alanna's gone, Stephen's still a freak, and there's only one question on everyone's minds. Well, two. Will I become the world's greatest reporter? And will my team ever get its shit together?" he snapped. "It's about time we all find out right here on Total... Drama... Million Dollar Academy!"
In the comfortable beds of the boys' dorm, Damien and Holden slept soundly-separately, that is. In Iko's bunk, with sweat dripping down his forehead, he softly tapped a button on his soundboard, and the sound was minimal, only loud enough for himself to hear. His teammates kept sleeping, and the producer let out a breath of relief. He tensed at the sound of something above the ceiling.
Up on the roof, Izzy crawled around like a spider, determination in her eyes as she spied on Lauren skipping down into the forest trail on the outskirts of the Million Dollar Academy campus.
"Where do you think you're going, Satan?" Izzy muttered.
With no warning, Lauren stopped her prance, spinning her head around like a reptile to face Izzy with her grin. As if that wasn't strange enough, the girls were the length of multiple town blocks away from each other.
Confessional - Izzy
"She's possessed! The spawn of Satan, I tell you! People in the 1600s probably sacrificed their livestock because they knew Scary Girl would get here hundreds of years into the future! They were trying to appease God, but little did they know that the only way to appease God is to present him with a pot filled to the brim with honey. Everyone knows that."
Confessional - Zee
"I've been thinking a lot about the Berenstain Bears lately. Why is it that Goldilocks went into those bears' house and ate their porridge? That's so messed up, yo. First of all, trespassing? Nah, no way. We don't get down like that, man. Second of all, porridge? I guess, maybe if you were faded enough, the urge for that would be there. I'd be way more willing to trespass in a bear's house if there were pots of honey for me to eat. Mmm. But then again, nah, I bet the author of that story probably didn't wanna get all religious."
End of confessionals
Meanwhile, Caleb, Jill, and Athena played some basketball on a court not far from the central academy building. For the most part, Athena was lost, unsure how to play the game, especially not helped by the fact that she was wearing a dress. Caleb, athletic as he was, proved a decent opponent for Jill, but her skill on the court was unmatched. Even someone like Caleb was being played for a fool against her. It was like she had complete control over both the ball, the hoop, and the court.
With Caleb coming at her, his arms ready to counter her from shooting, Jill swished herself to the side, but her bulky teammate was ready for her.
"Gotcha!"
Jill kicked out a leg and changed course in an instant, dribbling the ball between his legs and swerving around him. She grabbed the ball, shot it from a good ten feet away and scored a point.
"Damn, that was really good," he mentioned.
"How did you get so good at this game?" Athena gushed.
Jill caught her breath and smiled at her friends. "Well, when you love something, putting in the hours is never work."
"Is this your favorite sport?"
"Definitely. I've been playing basketball since I was about the same size as the ball. I love it."
"That's really amazing, Jill. You're literally so good at this game. Like, okay, girl, I see you."
She chuckled. "Okay, Athena, I got it."
"Yo, what's up, guys?" The voice belonged to Kobe, strolling up to join the trio.
"Hi, Kobe!" Athena waved giddily.
"S'up? Y'all playing some b-ball?"
"Sure are. You wanna join us?" Jill offered.
"I mean, I'm a soccer guy at heart, but I'm down. We tryna play horse before the challenge?"
"Actually, Kobe, you can tag me out," Caleb mentioned. "I was meaning to chat with Athena, if that's okay with you, of course," he asked her, a relaxed smile on his face.
"Of course that's okay with me!"
"Catch up with you guys later," Caleb nodded to them, then headed off with Athena alongside him.
Kobe watched them leave for a moment. "That Caleb guy is ridiculous, man."
"How do you mean?" Jill wondered.
"Even his abs have abs. Bro probably even has forehead muscles."
Jill chuckled. "He doesn't really do it for me the way he does for Queen."
"Nah?"
"Nah. I'm way more drawn to personality. I've never really cared about how people look."
"Church, girl. Ay, let's see if I can make a three pointer."
Confessional - Kobe
"Do nerds have forehead muscles?"
End of confessional
Caleb and Athena took a walk down one of the long-spanning sidewalks behind the academy. The route he took was set under many blooming trees, different from some of the leafless ones into the forest further out.
"Aren't these trees so pretty?" Athena stared up at them with glee.
"No doubt. My favorite is when they turn fall colors."
"Ooh, yes! Fall is my favorite season!"
"Mine's probably winter actually."
"Favorite after winter, I meant!" Athena chuckled. "Anyway, what'd you wanna talk about?"
Caleb shrugged. "Nothing in particular. I guess I just wanted to get to know you better."
Athena kept walking with him, but her friendly smile lessened slightly, giving way to some anxiety. "M-more? To learn about- about me?"
He nodded, flashing pearly whites as he smiled. "Yeah. I mean, if you'd be cool with that. Tell me about who you are."
Now she was nodding, doing so vigorously. "Yeah, yes, yes, yeah, I'd love that. But I just-"
Caleb sensed her apprehension. "What's wrong? I hope I'm not-"
"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong. I just, uhm, I- I, uh... Well, I..."
Strangely, after a few more moments of stammering, tears started to well up in Athena's eyes. Caleb looked down at her and noticed, halting their walk.
"Whoa, hey. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad somehow."
"No, it's not that. I just- I have s-some trouble with-"
"Why don't we sit for a minute? Would you like that?"
"Mmhmm," she murmured.
Caleb wandered off the path to tug a log over for the pair to sit. Athena sniffled and settled her breathing.
"What's wrong?" he asked as gently as he could.
She let out an exhale. "I... can sometimes have trouble with being close with new people. It's just... I had a rough upbringing, and I got bullied a lot, so I'm just kinda... weird," she chuckled and sniffled.
"Nah, you don't seem weird to me," he argued. "We all have our quirks. Don't worry about it."
"But here you are just trying to talk like a normal person and I start crying over nothing. I'm such a mess. I feel so worthless, just like my grade four teacher always said I was... "
"You're really not. Trust me, I've seen much messier situations. Would you prefer it if I left you be for now?"
"No, that's okay, Caleb. We can keep walking, but... but maybe we could hold off on me talking about myself?" She sniffled again, forming a smile. "Could you take the lead on that?"
Nodding, he replied, "Yeah, that's no problem at all. How about..." He got to his feet, offering Athena a hand to get up and walk with him. "How about we talk about Lance Erik, this guy from high school who stuffed tomatoes in my locker everyday for a year?"
"Someone really did that to you?"
Confessional - Caleb
"There's a lot going on with Athena, I think. She's a soft person, emotional, but capable of leading a challenge and taking our team to victory. I think that's pretty cool. There's some serious alliance potential between us, and who knows? Maybe we each make a new close friend by the time the season's over."
Confessional - Londyn & Bowie
Londyn urged Bowie to sit at the side of the table across from where confessionals were typically recorded within the library.
"Remind me what I'm doing here?" Bowie requested.
"You're here 'cause I've got some stuff to get off my chest, and you're, like, one of the girls, basically."
"Am I now?"
"You're close enough, boo. Plus, the only other girl on the team now is Izzy. She's just... Anyway, let's talk about Fish."
"Oh, Jesus." Bowie couldn't help but roll his eyes.
"He was making me feel so ooey-gooey during yesterday's challenge, but he hasn't said a word to me all morning. Do you think I did something wrong?"
"Girl, you gotta pump the brakes; homeboy's still sleeping. It's barely mid-morning."
She hesitated. "Oh..."
"What do you even see in that guy anyway? He's a fuckboy."
"But he's so cute! And he doesn't have a care in the world about what anyone thinks of him."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that..."
"Aw, Bowie!" she whined. "Why are you so quick to rain on my parade? I really think there's something between the two of us."
"Londyn, sweetheart, I guarantee you-"
"You guys still using the confessional?" asked Cody, walking up.
"Buzz off, Cody."
"Shucks."
Bowie continued. "I guarantee you there isn't anything of value waiting for you in Fish's arms."
"Oh, god, now I wanna be in his arms," she moaned.
"Yeesh, do I need to work on my word choice. Look, a girl as stunning as you-boldly slaying with those face tatties might I add-isn't gonna have any trouble finding a boy. You'll have it easier than me, that's for sure," he scoffed. "I tell you, it's like primping my look every morning isn't for hot boys, according to the way they walk away with their girlfriends," he added mockingly. "The point is, why not wait until after the game for love? Isn't reality TV a shotty place for that kind of thing anyway?"
"Well, I've started to get used to having my privacy on camera. OnlyFans, you know?"
Bowie nodded, obviously uncomfortable. "Mmhmm, yeah."
"So, I bet it'd be completely fine if me and Fish got together. I mean, we've already made out a bunch."
"Saw that- on your face, that you two probably have been kissing. Yeah."
She sighed. "I don't know, maybe you're right, Bowie. Maybe I ought to put this to rest."
"Know what? I think that would be splendid. I say that with your best interests at the very top of my priorities."
"Okay, I'll do that."
A moment of silence went by before Londyn's radiant eyes lit up.
"You really think I could get a boy, like, easily?"
"You haven't?" Bowie retorted, somewhat shocked.
"Oh, please, Bowie; I get hit on so much, I've learned to tell every guy to leave me be, even the good ones. Ooh! I bet I've got time to make out with Fish before the challenge!" she squealed.
"But we just decided-"
Londyn practically leaped up from her chair, prancing away in a hurry. "Bye, Bowie! I've got business to attend to!"
He sat there, dumbfounded, waiting until the library door opened and closed before speaking to the camera, and Brook behind it.
"Can you believe that girl? The only way Fish looks appetizing in any sense whatsoever is either A, you're on a lot of drugs, or B, you've never dated, and you haven't learned how to disarm fuckboy advances-patent pending-before they get to you. That sure explains plenty."
Dropouts: Caleb, Damien, MK, Scary Girl, Athena, Holden, Iko, Jill, Kobe, Matcha, Queen
Grads: Cody, Izzy, Noah, Bowie, Zee, Fish, Jayshawn, Londyn, Stephen
Some quick OC descriptions:
Athena: orangey-blonde, orange contacts, black and white dress
Holden: long, scraggly hair, heavyset, short, leather jacket
Iko: slim-fat, short, stylish overcoat and vest
Jill: athletic build, red hair, tan skin, emerald green eyes
Kobe: tall, big afro
Matcha: brunette, business casual
Queen: purple hair
Fish: typical influencer look
Jayshawn: fit, muscular, dreads, gym tank/shorts
Londyn: brunette, face tattoos, gorgeous features
Stephen: early 2000s emo look
Mercutio: chiseled face, suit, wide-framed
Tracy: slim, suspenders/bowler hat
Brook: silver hair, oversized cardigan
