Check Me Out

by CrypticBeans

Raising one child, fostering another and running a book store is no easy feat. Especially when Hizashi has to balance his two other jobs but he's doing it! Or so he believes. It's only when he finds himself meeting Shouta Aizawa that his world seems to flip over and spin on its head.

39. Building Frustrations

"And he hasn't texted you back? Like at all?"

"No." Hizashi's voice was scathing as his knee bounced beneath the table like a jackhammer as he stared at his phone screen with his fingers squeezing the device in his hand. His blood ran hot in his veins; irritation causing his brow to twitch slightly when he looked up at Taishiro who stared at him with a look of worry. He sighed out then turned his phone screen off and pushed it away. "I don't know what the fuck he's thinking. I mean, what was the point of posting that picture? Petty revenge?"

"From what I know of Shouta, or at least what I saw that night of your New Year's Eve party, he didn't seem like the vindictive type. The kind to get revenge one someone, you know?" Taishiro picked slightly at his lunch before lifting up an octopus shaped sausage that he popped into his mouth. Chewing quickly then swallowing, the blonde then tapped his chopsticks lightly against his bottom lip. "I guess you have to try and think about what he's doing. Is he sending a message? Is he trying to say something?"

"That's the thing! I don't get what he could be trying to send! I mean, is it to make me jealous? To make me mad? Upset? What the fuck was the point to posting a picture with Emi of all people? Why not Tensei? Or Oboro? What was the point of it?" He hated the exasperated tone of his even as his blood ran hot with that irritation festering under his skin as he leaned his head forward onto his hands. "I just don't get it, Tai. I don't know what's going through Shouta's head. I don't get him at all right now."

"Well, I saw the picture that Nem posted on Snap and I didn't think it was that bad." Peeking up at the other blonde who was toying with another octopus shaped sausage, pinching it between his chopsticks tightly as he raised it up with that thoughtful expression on his face. "I'd say that Shouta's picture looks more sexualized? I can understand being jealous for sleeping on a woman's chest but his picture seems to be pushing it, you know? Like he's testing something. Like he's trying to get under your skin."

"Well, he fucking succeeded. God, I've been so sad the past four weeks and feeling like a kicked puppy waiting for him to text then he posts this? I mean, am I justified in being mad at him? Is it right for me to be so irritated and angry with him?" He lifted his head up slightly as Taishiro popped that sausage into his mouth when a hand reached out. Touching his shoulder, rubbing gently, he sighed out as he bowed his head into his hands again. "I'm just so mad I don't know what more to say to him. What I should say."

Taishiro chewed his mouthful quickly with that hand on his shoulder squeezing briefly before sliding away as he swallowed. His Adam's apple bobbing with the movement when the blonde licked his lips before speaking again. "And that's perfectly fine. Zashi, buddy, you can be angry. You have every right to be! After all, this guy has had you on standby for how long? Four weeks? I'm surprised you were madder sooner! It's not fair what he's doing to you! I mean, he can think things over but to do this? It's kinda outrageous."

"It is outrageous! Like what the fuck!" He couldn't help the way his voice raised as he slammed his hands on the table. Rattling the ice in his coffee, his food untouched when Taishiro blinked at him then frowned softly when he sighed out as he bent his hands up to press to his cheeks again. His face felt hot; unpleasantly hot when he looked to Taishiro. "I'm sorry. I'm- Fuck, I'm sorry, Tai. I shouldn't be taking my anger out at work and certainly not at you while you're trying to eat. I just- God, I don't know who to talk too about this!"

"Hey, like I said, it's fine! I understand you're hurt, you're mad, and you have every right in the world to be! After all, Shouta doing something like this is out of character for the man I met that night." The frown deepened on Taishiro's lips then with blonde brows squeezing together slightly when he fussed with his chopsticks. Picking up a sushi roll then hesitating before holding it out. "Wanna bite? You should really eat to keep up your strength, Zashi. Not eating and drinking just coffee is only going to make you sick."

He didn't want to accept it. He didn't want to eat. But it did look pretty damn good as he held his hand out to which Taishiro dropped it into his hand and he brought it up to pop into his mouth. Chewing his mouthful, he hummed at the flavors of the roll. The seaweed and tuna that was in it. Green onions and rice. He then swallowed his mouthful before sighing out as he brushed his lips. "You're right. Of course, you're right. I just- I wish I knew what Shouta was thinking. I wish I knew why he would post a picture like that, you know?"

"I completely get it. Trust me, Zashi, I'd be just as confused and upset as you if a crush of mine did that to me." Taishiro picked up another sushi roll then popped it into his mouth which he chewed quickly before swallowing when his chopsticks pointed at him with that frown on his lips. "Eat your lunch at the very least, Zashi. I don't want to mother you but the least you can do is eat something, you know? Don't let yourself get too hung up on one man and his stupid, weird, possible retaliation."

"You couldn't have said that better, Tai! I guess I should eat, huh?" He couldn't help a barking laugh at that as he picked his coffee up to sip at then opening his bento. It was left over curry and rice but it smelled damn good to him. He picked up the spoon within and he scooped up a mouthful. Relishing in the meat, carrot and potatoes in his mouthful. It was nice. Chewing, chewing, chewing then swallowing his mouthful as his stomach growled. "You know, I've been so hung up on him. Like trying to understand it."

"Well, maybe that's the thing. You can't understand it because you're not Shouta. But you can be mad about it all that you want to be and there's no shame in that!" Scooping up a spoonful of rice, he popped it into his mouth to chew when Taishiro plucked up one of those little sausages and placed it on the cover of his bento. It had him smiling softly as he reached out to scoop it up and pop it into his mouth. "But how many days has it been since he posted that picture? Because, no offense, it's not good to be running mad all the time."

Sighing out through his nose as he chewed the sausage, he found his fingers drumming his spoon on the side of his bento when he swallowed before licking his lips again as he then frowned slightly. "It's been about three days. I know, three days isn't a lot in the grand scheme of a silent treatment of four weeks but still. God, I feel like an idiot sometimes, you know? I feel like a kicked puppy who's waiting for his owner to acknowledge him. I hate feeling like I'm waiting for Shouta to forgive me for something I didn't even do, you know?"

"Can I be honest with you, Zashi?" He blinked at Taishiro before nodding as he scooped up a mix of rice and curry which he popped into his mouth. The blonde looked nervous when he fussed with a sushi roll that he picked up with his chopsticks before swallowing as his Adam's apple bobbed. "No offense, and I mean that heavily, but isn't this kind of childish? I mean, it's sort of like middle school drama, you know? You chasing after him, him giving you the silent treatment, and all that? Not to mention that disastrous first kiss of yours! Doesn't it seem that way?"

Chewing his mouthful with that surprise popping into his chest, he chewed quickly with a snicker bubbling up his throat. And swallowing around it was harder than he liked to admit as he began snickering and leaned his head forward onto his hand. Because Taishiro was right; it was childish. It was like having a crush in middle school. The fact it didn't even qualify as high school drama was strangely hilarious. "You know what? You're right! This is childish! This is middle school pettiness!"

"Zashi, I don't mean-!"

"No, it is! It's all so fucking childish that I don't know what to do with myself now that you've pointed it out! My God, has it been like this the whole time? Have I really been this childish this entire fucking time? I thought I was treating it with-with tack! With matureness! But has it just been childish?" He hated the hysterical edge to his voice when a choked sound squeezed itself out of his throat. A sob? A laugh? He had not a clue but God if it didn't hurt his chest on the way out.

And then, much to his surprise, the chair next to him was screeching back as another of those sobbing laughs burst out of him with his eyes burning. Stinging. And then Taishiro's arms were wrapping around him in a hug so tight he swore he could feel the other man's heartbeat. Swore he could feel it against his chest. And he was surprisingly strong despite how soft he looked. It was like he was being held together again as the blonde hugged him tight. "I'm sorry, Zashi, I'm very sorry! I didn't mean to upset you by saying that!"

He blinked as he looked over the other blonde's shoulder as arms held him tightly. It was nice. So, so nice. And he found himself curling his arms around the blonde's large midsection to hug onto him as another of those choked, sobbing laughs burst out of him as he buried his face into Taishiro's broad shoulder. Just a moment. A moment to be held. To be hugged was all he'd wanted since this drama began. He held onto his friend tightly; just as tightly. "It's fine, Tai. It's really fine! I appreciate you being honest, really!"

"But it's not worth it to be honest when it's hurting a friend, is it? I just- I wanted to be honest, you know? You deserve honesty, don't you?" He blinked at the blonde's words when arms tightened briefly to which he hugged himself tightly to Taishiro. Squeezing fistfuls of his shirt in his hands as he hugged onto the blonde with his face burying itself into his shoulder again. "You're my friend, Zashi, and I just want what's good for you, you know? Even if we haven't been friends for long, I just think maybe honesty is good for you right now."

Holding on tightly to the larger blonde, he couldn't deny there was something comforting about being hugged. Sure, there was the hugs from Nemuri and Oboro that he adored but there was something about this squeezing tight hug of Taishiro's that warmed his chest. That had him feeling like he was being squeezed back together again; being hugged back into shape as he turned his head again to rest his chin on Taishiro's shoulder. "I appreciate it, Tai, I really do. You're a good friend, you know that? You care in your way and I appreciate it."

Arms tightened around him briefly before Taishiro was letting go, shuffling backwards to get back into his chair as he sighed out. He couldn't deny that the hug had meant everything to him; had been the perfect amount of comforting as he raised his hands up to rub at his eyes that felt damp when Taishiro smiled softly. "I really do think of you as my friend, even if you are my boss and write my checks. I care about you, Zashi, and like any other friend I want you to be happy. Because you have been mature about it but the situation is just-"

"Childish. I know, it's possible to be mature about some aspects and immature about others. I mean, I've been harboring this crush on Shouta for three months now!" He couldn't help but give a dry laugh as he then rubbed at his eye again when he looked to Taishiro. Sighing out as he picked up his spoon again. "I should've confessed much, much sooner. I should've done it that day when I went to his apartment. But I still plan on saying something when I see him next. He is so far from off the hook as you can get."

"It's good to have a game-plan in place! Honestly, it might be better to know what to say next time you see him so you don't forget anything or feel like you're leaving something out!" Taishiro picked up another roll which he then popped into his mouth, his jaw working quickly as he chewed before swallowing again with his Adam's Apple bobbing before speaking. "Like you just said, it's possible to mature about some things and immature about others. This miscommunication between you and Shouta is the childish part."

Nodding at the other blonde, he scooped another spoonful of his curry which he popped into his mouth without thinking twice. Meat and onion. It had him twitching but he chewed quickly before swallowing as he followed that bite up with a scoop of rice which he popped into his mouth with the spoon clicking off of his teeth. Chewing his mouthful then swallowing, he grinned at Taishiro once his mouth was clear. "I'm going to uncomplicate this shit. I'm going to make Shouta talk to me if it's the last thing I do, Tai! And when I do, I'll confess!"

"You'll do what's best for you, Zashi, and you'll put everything right as well! I'm not sure if confessing is the right thing to blurt out but you're going to do what you're best at and keep your best interests in mind!" Taishiro then handed him another sushi roll which he happily took as the blonde beamed at him then before tilting his head slightly. "If I said I had my own spoon, could I possibly get a bite of your curry? Nemuri's told me all about it and if you don't mind letting me have a taste, I'd love to try it!"

Grinning at the larger blonde, he scooped up the sushi roll and popped it into his mouth when he pushed his box towards the blonde who jumped up again and rushed over to the sink. He watched the blonde rinse off a spoon as he chewed his mouthful then watched Taishiro cut the water off then shuffle back over. He swallowed his mouthful when the blonde sat down again and scooped up a mouthful. "Thank you for listening though, Tai. I really appreciate you, you know that? You're a damn good friend."

"Tha' you! I'll alwa' be here fo' you!" Taishiro got out around his mouthful which merely had him grinning as the blonde chewed his mouthful with a sparkle to those yellow eyes of his. There were spots of color on his cheeks when he swallowed his mouthful then beamed at him widely. "That's really good, Zashi! You must be a damn good cook! I almost envy Hitoshi and Izuku for getting such good home cooked meals! I can't cook for shit; my girlfriend packs my lunches for me, haha!"

"Well, maybe I'll start bringing extra for you to try! I'm mediocre at best but your girlfriend? Well, they're absolutely amazing at their cooking skills! I should envy you for getting cute little sausage octopi!" He kicked his foot at the blonde then scooped a mouthful of his food to pop into his mouth with the other blonde chuckling softly. He hoped that Taishiro was right. He hoped that he could hold onto his anger. That he would know what was best for him when he finally talked to Shouta. That he could do that much.

---

"Thank you, Mom, for looking after the boys for me this afternoon. I know the drive out can't be all that pleasant, especially with your drive back."

Dark blue eyes sparkled at him then as his mother smiled with all the warmth in the world as the boys shrieked with delight in the living room as his other mother, Yuki, helped the boys clean up the living room. Handing his mother a wet dish, water dripping down it and his wrist. "It's no problem at all, Zashi, you know that! Besides, it's been a while since your mother and I have made the drive out here. We've only just met your most recent cat. What was her name again?"

"Reese. And seriously, I know how you guys are in the car and I don't want you to be uncomfortable on your way back, you know?" He watched his mother loaded the dish into the dishwasher's rack and he handed her a wet cup which she took from him carefully before sliding it into place on the top rack. "But it's a big relief you managed to come before the boys got home! I didn't expect to stay so late at work but I appreciate you two, you know that?"

"We're always willing to help, you know that! Just because we're getting older doesn't mean we can't withstand a car ride of thirty to forty minutes, you know!" He couldn't help but grin when his mother nudged him with her elbow and hip causing him to sway on his feet when she accepted a wet plate from him. "We love our grandsons. It's going to be amazing once you close in on the adoption with Izuku. I don't think your mother has loved a kid more than she loves Izuku. Of course, we love our grandchildren fairly and-"

"Evenly with no favorites. Uh huh, that's what you say about me, Aimi, Hana and Haru our entire lives! That you have no favorites but I know for a fact that you have favorites! You just don't want to pit us against each other but if you say I'm your favorite because I'm the oldest-" A laugh burst out of him when his mother shoved at him and snatched the cup out of his hands as he playfully pushed her back. "It's true! But I understand you love your children, and most recent grandchildren, undividedly. But I mean, you gotta have a soft spot for the babies."

"Everyone, childfree or with families, has the capacity to have a soft spot for babies. I'm just lucky we got you when you were still technically a baby! Two years old and toddling around like a little pro yet still a baby in some ways and a toddler in others! I'm sure you understand what I mean, given how young Toshi was when you got him." His mother's tone held that affectionate edge to it that he recognized anywhere. It truly warmed his heart as he watched her load a bowl into the top drawer before pushing them in as he rinsed the sink out.

"I don't know if two years old is a baby but I know what you mean. Shouta's daughter, Eri, is only two years old but she's still very much baby-ish the last time I saw her but she was really picking up on words and sentences fast that day." He could hear the longing in his own voice, the ache that twinged in his chest, when he reached under the sink to grab a dish-washer tab for his mother to load in. Clipping it shut then swinging the door up to fuss with the buttons.

"How is Shouta nowadays? I feel like you haven't mentioned Shouta to me or your mother in a while! Last time you did you were trying to figure out whether or not to tell your friends and him about you being transgender! And abut that little crush you had! How did it go?" His mother straightened up after getting the dishwasher started with a curious glint to her dark blue eyes. He sighed out then to which her brows arched up. "Well, I may be married to a woman but a sigh like that at the mention of a man is never any good."

"It's just- There's a lot going on, Mom, and it's all just one big cluster-fuck, you know? I'm dealing with it though." He reached for the towel to dry his hands off before handing it to his mother who hummed softly as she began to dry her hands off. He then shifted to lean against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest with a sigh leaving him. "I talked to my friends about it, Nem and Taishiro, and they've given good advice. So, I have a game-plan of what I want to do when it comes to Shouta, you know?"

His mother's eyes flickered over him with that pointed, sharp look to them. One that told him she was dissecting his words down to their base root and trying to find an emotion in his face. Something he wasn't aware of showing but he swallowed instead when his mother then placed the towel on the counter and her hand raised up. Touching his jaw gently to turn his head towards her as her eyes met his. "Hizashi, darling, if you need to talk about it, I'm here. You know that, right? You can talk to me about anything."

Oh, how those words nearly crumbled him the way he'd crumbled with Taishiro. It had him softening when she tucked his hair behind his ear and before he knew it, his arms were uncurling from his chest and he was reaching for his mother who was tugging him towards her. And he was being hugged tightly; the type of motherly hug that put all his broken pieces back together. A hug to get him swallowing around the knot of emotion in his throat. "I know, Mom. I know but I think this is something I need to figure out on my own, you know?"

"Of course I know, darling, and I applaud you for that, I do. But I'm your mother and I know when you're hurting. I don't want you to be hurting, you know? You're my baby the same way Haru is our last baby. I know when my son is upset and no matter how blasé you want to be about it, I know that you're hurting." God. It had him swallowing again as he shifted his head to bury his face into his mother's neck to inhale that familiar scent of hers. Coconut and something musky. "I can see it in your eyes. darling. How long?"

"Four weeks and three days." He choked out as he tightened his arms around his mother's waist as her arms tightened around him. Holding him close when he closed his eyes against the burn in his eyes. Biting at his lip to stop its tremble before it could even do it. He doesn't want to fall apart but God, Kimiko had always been good at comforting. At knowing when he needed her. "But-But it'll be fine! I'm planning on talking to him soon so it shouldn't go on much longer, I promise. I'll be okay again soon, Mom."

"But you're not okay now. Oh, my baby, you're hurting and you deserve to be validated. No man should be putting you through the wringer for four weeks and three days like this." His mother's hand ran over his hair then, cupping the back of his head gently briefly, before coming through his hair gently. It felt so good. So good to be held by his mother who clucked her tongue gently. "As hurt as you are, I know you're angry. Underneath it all that anger is there because you've never stood for this treatment from anyone."

"I'm pretty pissed honestly but it does hurt. I didn't think Shouta would do something like this, you know? It hurts because I thought I knew him but he went and did this even if I kind of understand it?" He laughed then which had arms tightening around him with that hand running over his hair again and again. Stroking it gently as they began to rock and he swallowed against that tightness in his throat. "It just pisses me off but it hurts too. I don't think I've ever been this twisted up since I dated that older guy, remember?"

"Oh, God, you mean that forty-something year old? I won't lie, darling, that wasn't the best thing in the world but it had to be one of your healthier relationships." His mother sighed out when arms squeezed him gently as her fingers combed through his hair gently, comfortingly. Sliding down to rub his back when that knot of emotion in his throat threatened to choke him. "But you've always been a smart, well-spoken man. I'm sure once you sit Shouta down and talk with him, it'll all work out, Zashi, honey. I'm sure of it."

"Thank you, Mom. Seriously." He tightened his arms around the woman in his arms; his mother had never been slender or willowy. She'd always been broadly proportioned for a woman; wide shoulders but an equally wide waist. It made her familiar. Comforting. Her arms tightened around him as her hand ran over the back of his head again when he took a long sniff through his nose and then pulled back to meet his mother's gaze which glowed at him adoringly. Protectively. "Thank you for taking time to talk to me, Mom."

"I'll always have time for you. The same goes for your siblings; for all our children. You just tell me if you have a problem and I'll do my best to be there for you if you just need a support. Or I'll help you find a solution if you can't find one yourself right away." Her fingers came up to caress his cheekbone before reaching up to rub at his lashes. He hadn't realized his eyes had gotten damp again and she rubbed them away. "I believe in you, Zashi. I believe you'll figure this out. You're my son, after all."

"Dad! Dad, Dad!" He jumped at the shrieking of Hitoshi and Izuku who came running down the hallway together. Hands reached out for him as he pulled away from his mother and arms were thrown around his waist. Izuku more carefully given his cast and they clung onto him with shrieks of delight as they buried their faces into his sides. His other mother, Yuki, came walking down the hallway with a grin on her lips.

And then those brown eyes flickered between the two of them before narrowing with that look of suspicion he'd recognize anywhere. It was a look he'd seen plenty of times when he and his siblings were trying to lie. When they were trying to cover up for one another. She padded into the kitchen with that grin twitching on her lips when she looked between them. "What's going on? What's wrong? Is there something wrong?"

This had Hitoshi and Izuku looking up at him curiously to which he snuck his hand up to rub at his right eye to rid it of the dampness that clung to his lashes. He gave a laugh as he then dropped his hand to run over wild indigo locks while the other slid over green curls. "Nothing, Ma, I was just talking with Mom and got a little emotional is all! But anyways, it's about time for you two to get ready for bed. Why don't you say goodnight to Grandma and Grams then run upstairs to begin brushing your teeth?"

This had pouts forming on his sons' lips but they detached from his waist to hug Kimiko who ran her hands over their hair much like he had. Hugging them close before they let go to rush over to Yuki where they threw their arms around her waist. She hugged them tightly with hands ruffling their hair before the boys detached then rushed for the hallway together when his other mother then straightened up and cocked a hip with her head tilting. "What's going on? Is there something wrong, Zashi?"

"Nothing wrong, Ma! I was talking to Mom about a situation with Shouta is all but I've got it all figured out! You know me! I've always been a bit of a cry-baby!" He watched his other mother's lips pinch together with those brown eyes flicking over him restlessly before stepping forward with her feet thudding lightly over the floor. The thuds of his sons running up the stairs ringing out. And before he knew it, he was tugged into Yuki's arms the same way he'd been tugged into his other mother's.

Arms were tight around him, squeezing him for all their worth as his head came to rest on her shoulder. And he found himself curling his arms around her as he buried his face into her shoulder to hug her tightly to him. Inhaling her perfume that always smelled spicy; like cinnamon. It was comforting. A hand ran over his hair and arms squeezed him tightly when he felt a kiss being placed on the side of his head. "It doesn't matter if you were a cry-baby. I'm your mother too, you know, and I care if you're upset. If you're angry. Hurting."

And God, it was making him well up again as he hugged his other mother tightly with her warmth soaking into him. It was moments like these where he truly, truly loved his mothers. And it only reminded him that someday they won't be around anymore. They wouldn't be there when he needed to talk. Or to get a hug. Or to share a glass of wine with. To pop in and visit. It had him clutching his mother tighter when he felt a second pair of arms wrap around him. "I know, Ma. Thank you. I really appreciate you and Mom so, so much."

"You'd better! We'll always be here for you, Hizashi, and don't you forget that!" Arms squeezed him tightly then with a hug that seemed to bring all his broken parts together. That held him together when for four weeks he'd felt like doing nothing but cry. It was nice, all these hugs he was receiving. He slid an arm from around Yuki to curl around his other mother's waist and both hugged him all the tighter. "You can talk to me too, kid, you know that? You can talk to me about anything."

"He knows, Yu. After all, Zashi has never been dense or anything of the sort! He's going to be just fine." And those arms squeezed him as if to back up that sentiment as he held onto his mothers tightly. Inhaling their scents of cinnamon and coconut. Scents that colored his childhood; scents he knew like the back of his hand. Scents that marked them as his mothers. He held them tightly before they began to let go to which he let his arms loosen. Slacken.

Pulling back, he found himself staring from one face to the other when he took a slow, trembling breath then let it out as he then felt a hand run over his hair and a hand cup his cheek. It was unbelievably nice having his mothers here. Having them comforting him like this. It was everything he needed in the past four weeks. A comfort just like this. He smiled softly at his mothers who caressed his hair. His cheek. "Thank you to both of you. Thank you so much, I really appreciate you both more than you know. I love you both."

"And we love you, Zashi." Kimiko's words were colored with her determination when she pets his cheek gently before pushing his glasses up gently on his nose. Yuki's hand sliding over his hair and he couldn't help but cling to their waists. He didn't want them to go. Not yet. But he knew he had to let them go; they had to head home and he needed to get his sons into bed for the night. "We're always here for you. And we're always a call away so remember that, yeah? Or pop over when you need us. We're always here."

"I'll remember that, I promise. But I should let the two of you get home, yeah? I have to get the boys put down for bed anyways but I'll call you both tomorrow, if that's alright? Or I can call you after all this drama with Shouta is over with?" He loved those soft smiles on his mothers lips as the hand on his hair slid over it again. Fingers skimming his cheek. Adoring touches that had him melting as he squeezed the fistfuls of their sweaters that he held.

"You can call us whenever you want, Zashi." Yuki's hand slid over his hair as he smiled at his mother who then pulled away with a sigh. He knew what was coming; they were going to make their exit. But at least he'd had the comfort of not just one but two mothers who were smiling softly with that protective adoration to their gazes. "But we should head out, like you said. You need to put the boys down, we need to settle in, and you need to get some sleep. No offense, kid, but you look awful."

"Thanks, Ma." He replied with an affectionate eye roll before he let go of them and together the three of them turned to shuffle across the kitchen. Both women leading the way forward with footsteps thudding over the floor gently as they entered the hallway where he could hear the water running upstairs. Following after his mothers who walked forward and grabbed their coats off of the hooks, he let out a quiet sigh. "I should invite you two over for dinner again. Or we could have dinner at yours?"

"Whichever, darling, is fine with us! We'll be there whether it's here or at our home!" His mother replied as she shrugged her coat on then began to zip it up then reached into the pocket for her gloves which she slipped on then bent over to grab her boots. Bracing her hands on the wall, she slipped her feet in one at a time into her boots, much like his other mother did. Patting her pockets then producing the car keys which his other mother took. "But please, do come around more often, we would love to see the boys more!"

"They're growing like weeds. I forgot how fast kids grow when they reach that age! They're just like you, Zashi; sprouting up before my very eyes!" His other mother brought her coat together to zip it up, keys jingling on her fingers. Pockets were patted for phones, wallets, and then they were turning to him. Hands outstretched, he stepped forward to hug his mothers tightly one at a time. Yuki's hug tight and hard while Kimiko's felt gentler.

When he pulled away, he smiled at his mothers as he listened to the water upstairs being cut off. The screech of stools then the rushing pad of feet over the floor as the boys ran to their bedroom. "They really are! But I hope that the two of you drive home safe, okay? I'll talk to you soon and it'll be so often that you'll get sick of me and start screening my calls! I love you, Ma, and I love you, Mom. Drive safely, okay?"

"We will, Zashi! Now, you go tuck those boys into bed and we'll talk to you very soon!" He watched his other mother's arm slide around his mothers and he shuffled forward to tug open the front door for them. They walked out together with glittering brown eyes peeking over her shoulder. "We love you too, Zashi, and we'll get home safely just like we always do! Goodnight and I hope that you sleep well, alright? Let us know what happens with Shouta, alright?"

"Absolutely!" He replied with a nod as he leaned against the door, watching his mothers' make their way down the front walkway together. Watching the two women make it to their deep red car; watching Yuki open and hold the door for his mother as she slipped in. Watching his other mother walk around the car to the driver's side where she opened the door and slid in. And then the car was starting up with the head lights glowing in the darkness as the car rumbled quietly when he caught thudding steps.

"C'mon, Dad! We brushed our teeth and we're in our jammies! We're ready to be tucked in!" Hitoshi called from the top of the stairs to which he stepped away from the doorway, watching the car pulling back out of the driveway and he shut the door cutting off the view. Turning to the stairs, he began to climb up them as Hitoshi stood at the top in his kitten themed pajamas. He smiled up at his son as he rushed up which had the boy rushing away with a little giggle.

"I'm coming!" He called out as he jogged up the stairs to the top where he made an extra thud to his step as he then began walking down the hallway towards the boys room. Skimming his fingers along the wall as he turned into their bedroom doorway to find both boys waiting for him. He walked in then rushed forward to scoop Izuku up who squealed as he swung him in the air then planted him down onto the bed causing it to bounce. "It's your turn! You go first this time, remember?"

"I do!" Izuku cried out delightedly as he pulled the blankets down and then brought them up over the green-haired boy and tucked his sides in then handed him his octopus which was held tightly. Green eyes shimmering up at him when he smoothed those green curls off of his forehead and leaned down to press a kiss to it. He then nuzzled his nose to Izuku's causing the child to giggle again when he rubbed his thumb over that freckled cheek adoringly. "I love you, Dad! Goodnight!

"Goodnight, Izu! I love you too!" Pulling away, he stood up right only to turn to Hitoshi who was bouncing on his toes eagerly. Hands upstretched with a delighted grin on his lips and he happily scooped the boy up as he squealed and swung him through the air. Planting him on the bed, he tugged the blankets down and then up over his chest. Tucking in the sides tightly then handing his son his cat plushie. Smoothing wild indigo locks of his forehead and pressing a kiss to it. Nuzzling their noses together. "Good night, Toshi. I love you."

"Goodnight, Dad! I love you too!" The boy replied delightedly with small hands holding onto his shoulders as he caressed that cheek adoringly with his thumb before straightening up with small hands letting go of his shoulders. A delighted shimmer to those purple eyes of his as lashes fluttered in a fast blink. A smile on his lips and spots of pink to his cheeks. He looked utterly delighted when he then turned to Izuku who squirmed slightly under his blankets.

"I hope that you both sleep well and I'll see you both in the morning, alright? I love you both very, very much! Goodnight!" He padded across the room, turning their nightlight on with stars dancing over the walls as it spun slowly. He flicked the overhead light off plunging the room into a soft darkness as he walked to the door. Taking a final look at his sons, he then tugged the door shut behind him as he stepped into the hallway. The knob clicked into place with the wood thudding softly.

And he let out the breath that he'd been holding all afternoon long. The air that he'd held down when he came home to his mothers cooking dinner and entertaining the boys. The air that he'd been holding since his conversation with Taishiro. He felt run down. Exhausted. Leaning against the boys door briefly, he let his head hang forward as he took a breath then let it out slowly before pushing off of it then reaching up for the chain.

Plunging the hall into darkness, he then padded down it with his socked feet thudding over the hallway floor as he made his way to the stairs. Grabbing onto the railings, he flew down the stairs quietly and quickly with his toes bouncing off the stairs. He gave a light leap off the last step into the front hallway as he then padded to the living room. Walking into the cleaned up area, he approached the coffee table where he picked up the remote and turned the TV off.

Plunging the room into silence, he then scooped up his mother's empty wine glass and turned on his feet to walk across the room. Flicking the light off, he paused by the front door to make sure that he locked it before turning on his feet to walk down the hallway with the glass in hand. The quiet rumble of the dishwasher filled the quiet of the kitchen as he walked over to the sink where he placed the glass into the sink. He then grabbed his own empty glass from the counter and his mothers.

Placing all three wine glasses into the sink, he then glanced over that the food and water bowls for the cats. Making sure they were indeed filled up after he'd gotten up in the middle of dinner to make sure it was done. He nodded to himself then padded across the kitchen with his socked feet thudding over the kitchen floor and he flicked the light off. Plunging the lower-half of the house into darkness, he made his way forward towards the fridge and freezer.

Skimming past it to his small hallway. Walking down it, his feet thudding over the carpeted floor, he made his way down it and to his half-open bedroom doors. Pushing them open wider with the soft golden light of his lamps lighting it up, he stepped into the room then pulled the doors shut behind him. He had not a clue where the cats were; under his bed or on their towers, he wasn't sure but he found himself pushing off of his doors as he walked forward.

He made his way to his dresser first as he grabbed his sweater which he flipped up over his stomach to his chest. Working his arms through the sleeves, he then bunched the fabric up to make sure it didn't catch on his ears or his glasses. Getting it up over his head, he turned to throw it towards the hamper. He then reached down to unbutton and unzip his jeans before shoving them down from his hips to his thighs with a quiet sigh to himself.

He then reached in to pull his packer form it's pocket in the boxers he wore and placed it on the dresser top. He reached up to curl his fingers into his boxers as he shoved them down with his jeans and worked the clothing down to his knees. Down his calves and carefully worked his feet free with his socks in tow with the rest of the fabric. Working his feet free, he scooped the clothing up and stood up right again to throw them towards the hamper much like he had with his hamper.

Shivering at the cool air brushing his skin when he then tugged open his drawers. Grabbing a fresh pair of boxers, pajama pants and a camisole shirt that went with it. He shut the drawers with gentle thuds then grabbed his boxers and stepped into them then tugged them up to his hips. Repeating the action for his flowy pajama pants then grabbing his camisole that he tugged over his head carefully and slipped his arms into the sleeves.

The soft red glowed against the paleness of his skin; the tan of summer long since having leeched out of his skin. He knew once summer came round again, he would regain his own tan again. He tugged the hem of his shirt down until it rested comfortably against his waist and he turned on his feet to face the bed. In two large steps, he launched himself forward where he threw himself onto the bed. It bounced beneath him at the impact of his weight, bouncing him with it.

He didn't mind it one damn bit. If anything, he couldn't stop himself from groaning out as he dragged himself up towards his pillows where he yanked the blankets down for himself. He turned to roll onto his back as he slid into place against his pillows where he slipped his legs under the blanket and tugged it up. He reached for his TV remote on the bedside table and flicked it on with a press of the button. He was more than happy to lay up in bed after the long day he'd had.

God, he'd gotten so emotional throughout it that he truly felt exhausted from it all. He was ready to lose himself in an hour or so of some rotten TV before turning in for the night. And yet, as he flipped through the channels, he found himself unable to focus on the screen. On the channels with their pictures flying by him as he flipped quickly through the channels. He didn't know what he was looking for, what he wanted, but he wasn't finding it. Why wasn't he finding it?

It had him restless as he squeezed the remote in his hand tightly. as he flipped through the channels before stopping on a channel with a shitty reality TV show on it. He didn't want to watch it but God, what else was there? Why couldn't he focus long enough on the channels to watch it? His mind had been churning all day long, he'd been thinking all day long, and he was exhausted from it. He didn't know what to do with himself.

He felt he was doing something right talking to his mothers, to Taishiro, and yet he felt just as twisted up about it as he did three days ago when Nemuri sent him that picture. He was still angry. Oh, he was angry. It still set his blood aflame, had his teeth gritting, and made his temples throb. Made his heart hammer in his chest like his fist was beating at it. He didn't want to think anymore. He didn't want to watch this shitty TV show and pretend that everything was okay when he felt anything but.

For four weeks and three days, he'd been so wrapped up in his own emotions that for once he wanted to forget about but it was hard too. He could still remember the venom when he had sent Shouta that text three days ago. The fact Shouta hadn't answered rubbed him the wrong way. It was like having sandpaper rubbed over his skin. It set his teeth on edge. He wanted nothing more than to demand a response but the idea of Shouta having that ominous text message from him was more than satisfying to him.

He swallowed with his lips pinching together tightly as his knees drew up slightly beneath the blankets when he lifted the remote to flip the channel. And then he flipped it again. And again. Restless didn't begin to describe the emotions he had running rampant in his chest. He felt ready to sag under the weight of emotions he had bubbling in his chest. The words that filled his mind again and again. Words he wanted so badly to spit at Shouta the second he saw his handsome face.

He didn't know how the black-haired man would take it but he was determined to make a lasting mark. He was determined to make Shouta feel the heartbreak he'd been suffering with for four weeks. The anger that was newer than that heartbreak. The anger that ate at him when he had a moment alone. He felt ready to smash his fist through a wall but he controlled himself for the sake of his sons. For the sake of himself. He wasn't a violet man. He'd never been and never will be.

But he couldn't deny that there was something about Shouta ignoring him that set his teeth on edge. Something that ate him up so completely that it left him half crazed as he tried to piece together the pieces that refused to fit together. There was no rationality to him that would warrant a silence like this from Shouta. It had him absolutely blindsided and he had not a clue what he was going to do with himself. There was nothing he wanted more than to blow up on him.

He wanted to leave angry voicemail after angry voicemail for the black-haired man to listen too. He wants Shouta to know that he is pissed. After all, what did he do to warrant this? Nemuri's harmless selfie? It looked soft in comparison to the picture that Shouta had taken with Emi. He dropped the remote to the bed and reached out for his phone. His phone that had been painfully, unbelievably silent for weeks. God, he couldn't believe Shouta had it in him to ignore him for this long.

That Shouta could hold out this long. He pulled up his texts with Nemuri to look at that picture again with his teeth grinding slightly. The picture, the pose, implied that they were closer than they gave away. At his New Year's Eve party, Shouta had all but cringed away from the loud, bubbly woman. He'd seemed put off by her. So why the hell would he let her in his lap like that? Even if it was just her legs? How could he let her flash her breasts that way? Show off her thighs that way?

Let her touch those black curls like that? It had him squeezing his phone as his teeth ground together as he stared at the picture that had been burned into his mind. How long was Shouta going to let this go on? Because Taishiro was right; there was areas where he was being mature about this and others where they were being immature. Was this middle school behavior? It was worse than it being marked as high school drama.

High school would at least imply there was some maturity to the situation but this really was middle school behavior. It had him huffing through his nose as his teeth ground together before he closed out the picture and turned his phone screen. Slamming it on the bed next to him where it bounced and flipped with the case facing upwards. He wanted to shriek at that handsome man. He wanted to shriek and scream and shout about how unfair this was.

About how cruel it was to do something like this. To scream at him and accuse Shouta of wanting to make him cry. To make him pathetic. Pitiful. He wanted to scream and scream until his ears were ringing. Until his throat was raw. He was tired of feeling pitiful. He was tired of feeling pathetic. He was tired of waiting for something that he worried was never coming. If Shouta wanted this to be the end of their friendship, then he wasn't going to bed.

He had more self-respect than that. Did this qualify as a first fight? Or was there going to be a blowout fight soon? Would Shouta merely never text him again? Would he never reach out again? Would he never get closure? It had him raising his hands up to take his glasses up as he dropped them into his lap and slid his hands over his face. For one night he wished he could feel fine. That he wasn't hung up on the phone that wasn't going to ping. That wasn't going to ring.

He was fearing that this was an ugly, cold cut off. Did Shouta have a feeling about his feelings? Did Shouta know he had a horrid crush on him? A ridiculous, high school-esque crush on him? That he was eager for the chance to be his lover? Just once? Could he promise himself just one time? He had not a clue. But God, he hoped that Shouta didn't know. He hoped that he hadn't been as painfully blatant about it as he feared he was. He wanted to simply know what he'd done wrong.

It was all that he wanted. All he needed. He wanted that closure if this was going to be the end of their friendship. But he hoped it wasn't. He hoped that Shouta would pull his head out of his ass and would contact him. That he would apologize for the long suffering silence. Apologize for that rather inappropriate picture of himself and Emi. He hoped that it wasn't some kind of petty move on Shouta's part. He hoped that it wasn't revenge of some kind.

After all, why would there be a need for revenge? All he'd done was be caught sleeping on Nemuri's chest. And was it wrong what she said? If he was one of her favorite people? Because Shouta was his favorite person. Would that be the wrong thing to say? Nemuri and Oboro had been his favorite people for years and they were his best of best friends. They'd been there for him for years. There had never been anything awkward between them.

They'd been there when he'd gotten his binders. They'd been there when he'd gotten his top surgery and were there for him in the weeks afterwards. Of course, his mothers were there for him and so were his sisters, his brother, but Nemuri and Oboro had truly come in clutch for him. They were practically another brother and sister to him. His siblings adored them and they adored his siblings. They were tight knit; they were woven together and there was no breaking that apart.

No matter how much anyone had to say about it. And if Shouta was upset, if he was angry, about the picture then he could say so. He didn't have to be so formal. He didn't have to say that line of "not missing him as much" as he claimed. How could Shouta ever say something petty like that? It was even a bit vindictive. A bit spiteful. It wasn't like Shouta but then again, the man had admitted to being jealous. So, was that Shouta talking?

Or was it his jealousy talking? Was that what a jealous Shouta sounded like? It was confusing. It was upsetting. He'd been jealous over Emi from the moment they met at the party and before that? Before that, he liked to believe Emi was becoming a close friend of his. He'd never felt a moment of jealousy over her but the moment he saw her with Shouta? It was the first time he felt that flaming jealousy.

It was the first time he realized that there were people other than him that found Shouta attractive. Found him handsome. And how could they not? With those black curls and dark eyes? The scar under his right eye? The stubble that was unkept? The bags under his eyes? The sharp cut of his nose and jaw? His cheekbones? The arch of his brow? All of it that came together to make up easily one of the most handsome faces he'd seen? And then, not to mention, was his physique.

How could anyone not find that attractive? How could anyone not look at this man and not want him? It was a wakeup call that he hadn't realized he needed. Is that what happened with Shouta? Did he have a wakeup call of his own when he saw him cuddled up to Nemuri's chest? Is that what this was? He had not a clue but God if he didn't want to ask Shouta. If he didn't want to question the black-haired man until he had a glimpse as to what had to be going through his head.

All he wanted was to understand. Was that so big of a thing to ask? Was that such a wild request to have? To simply understand what it was that Shouta was thinking? It was exhausting. Sighing out softly to himself, he found himself shifting to no longer sit up against the headboard but to lay out on his back. The pillow puffing around his head as he stared up at his ceiling with his hands twisting into the blankets with plucks and pulls. He just wanted to understand.

He didn't think it was that big of an issue to want to know what Shouta could possibly be thinking. Did Shouta ever reach for the phone? Did he ever stare at his contact and wish to text him? Did he pull up his number to stare at and wish he could call? Did he stare at their texts and feel that pang in his chest at how cold he sounded? Did Shouta miss him at all? Did Shouta miss talking to him? Did he feel the same way that he did?

Were they sharing in the same emotion but unable to express that because they weren't talking to one another? If that were true, how the hell could Shouta continue on his life the past four weeks? How could he not jump on the chance to text him when he texted that angry message to him three days ago? Sure, it was angry and formal but wouldn't Shouta be chomping at the bit to talk to him if he missed him? Was there some type of shame that he wasn't aware of?

He wanted nothing more than to ask Shouta. He wants to hear his voice. He wants to see his face. He wants to see how his smile lit up those dark eyes. He wanted to feel those rough hands in his own. He wanted those strong arms to wrap around him and hug him tightly. He wants to bury his face into his broad shoulder and inhale the musky vanilla scent of his cologne. He wants to feel those black curls brushing against his cheek as he hugged him back.

He wants to admire the face he so adored even if he was angry. Even if he was upset with him. Talking with Taishiro had opened his eyes to the anger that had been throbbing in the background of his heartache. The pulse behind it that had been waiting to be acknowledged. That had been waiting for him to touch upon it only to feel it light him up with a fury that left him half-blind. There was nothing he wanted more than to scream and scream at Shouta until he felt better.

But would that change anything? Would screaming, shrieking, and screeching solve a damn thing? Would Shouta yell back? Would he scream and shriek his own defiance's at him? Would they scream at each other and find no middle ground? Would this be the end of it? He didn't want it to be. He didn't want this to be the end of their friendship when they had gotten along so well. He didn't want to think that he depended on Shouta but he did.

Just the smallest, tiniest bit did he depend on Shouta and he hated it. It was like somehow, someway, he'd had life breathed into him again when he met Shouta. Had life breathed into him when he joined that mom group that had become some of his closest friends. But there was a connection with Shouta that he had clung too desperately. He couldn't tell if he'd liked Shouta the whole time or if it had been strictly platonic since the beginning.

But looking back on it, he knew the night of his first dinner party something had started. When he and Shouta had been on his porch swing, the late August air thick and alive with the shrieking of cicadas and crickets in the grass. When he'd been tipsy from his wine and Shouta had been flushed from his own wine. When he'd been so beautifully flushed in the soft golden light of the back porch light that played on his black curls and dark eyes that something had started.

Something had been kicked to life. Something in him had flickered to life whether he wanted to admit it or not. He'd been trying so hard to keep things platonic between him and Shouta and in some ways, he'd succeeded. In others he had failed horribly. He'd been obsessed with this man from day one and he couldn't deny that his curiosity had drawn him towards the fire. He was going to be burned. He was Icarus and he was flying dangerously close to the sun. He'd fall.

And God knows what kind of ruins he would fall into. Does Shouta feel the same? Or would this be the end? There were too many questions spinning around his head as he stared up at the ceiling. Sure, talking with Taishiro had opened his eyes to things but he felt just as lost. What did he do about this? What could he do about this? What was there that he could do about it? There was too much that he didn't know. Too much that was unknown to him.

And he felt dizzy when faced with those impossibilities. He wished he could say that, with full confidence, that he knew what to expect when he saw Shouta again but at the end of the day, he knew it was simply unknown. All he did know was that he knew what he wanted to say. He knew he wanted to confess to Shouta. All that he didn't know was how he was going to say it. Was he going to be calm and rational? Could he be calm and rational?

Or was he going to be a sobbing mess once he saw that handsome face again? He didn't want to present himself as a sobbing mess to Shouta when he saw him again. He wanted to be strong, confident, and bold. He wanted to say what he had to say and then see where this took him and Shouta. He wanted to be able to say what he'd been longing to say. Groaning out to himself, he picked his glasses up from the bed and folded them up to place on the pillow next to him before he rolled over.

Burying his face into the pillows like it could possibly stop his mind from churning. From thinking. He knew if he wanted it to stop that he could go after that bottle of wine he'd opened up the night of his bath and chug it down until he was good and properly drunk. He knew he could black himself out and then he wouldn't be able to think about a damn thing. But he wasn't going too. He can't. He wasn't going to drink himself silly over one man.

Over a couple of thoughts. The last thing he wanted to be was hung over when his sons eventually came down to wake him up in the morning. He wasn't going to drink because of Shouta. He wasn't going to let himself be a drunkard over a little heartbreak. That was the last thing he was going to do. But he wanted to top the thoughts that were churning around and around in his mind. He was going to go crazy if he didn't somehow stop himself from thinking.

Not even trash TV or those soft porn channels would be able to bring him out of his own thoughts. He'd be too busy making comparisons to his life, to Shouta, to himself. It wasn't going to do a damn thing. He nuzzled his face into the pillow even if the pocket he made was uncomfortable and hot. He twisted under the blankets with his knees drawing up slightly with the blankets rustling around him. He twisted his fingers into the fitted sheet as he whimpered into the pillow.

The comfort, the tranquility of talking to his mothers, to Taishiro, and putting his sons didn't seem to be doing anything for him now. He was just as twisted up as he was in the first few weeks of this silence with Shouta. He didn't know what to do with himself but all he wanted was a response. All he wanted was to see the black-haired man. All he wanted was to air this all out. The hurt feelings. The heartbreak. The desire. The lust. The tension. His feelings.

He wanted to spill all of it out of him if it would stop his chest from feeling swollen from their weights. From their presence trapped in his chest. If it meant that for one day he could go on without thinking about all of these big and little things when it came to Shouta. He wanted to shout it out and be done with it. He should have done this when he first realized he had a crush rather than let it drag on for so long. Was this some type of retribution for Halloween night?

He'd gone quite a few weeks not talking about their almost first kiss but now? Now he wished it had been their first kiss. He wished that drunken kiss had never happened. That things would be different right now. After all, didn't the almost kiss on Halloween prove to him that Shouta felt something for him? Or was it too late for that? Was Shouta going to tell him that it was too late for such feelings? For such confessions?

Groaning into the pillow, he turned his face to the cool air of the room around him when he then sighed out. He was getting nowhere like this. He wanted to go to bed. He rolled over in bed, kicking his blankets off of himself as he tugged open the bedside tables drawer. Inside was his prescribed bedtime medicine. He didn't take it most nights because he wanted to be ready to go if the boys needed him. But tonight? Tonight, he was taking it.

He reached in to grab the bottle and shut the drawer then grabbed his glasses. Slipping them back into place, he slipped to the edge of the bed. Standing up and walking around it quickly with his hair swaying against his back as he walked past the TV with its shitty reality tv show. He walked around his bed with his feet thudding on the bedroom floor as he rounded the bed and rushed for the bathroom. He flew into it, flicking the light on, and he turned the sink on.

Opening his pill bottle, he grabbed a single tablet then popped it onto his tongue and bent over to slurp water into his mouth. Swallowing the pill down, he then capped the bottle and placed it behind the mirror where it should belong. He shut the mirror which trembled lightly when he sighed. Might as well brush his teeth and wash his face. He grabbed his toothbrush, the toothpaste, and wet the bristles under the water then squeezed the toothpaste onto the bristles.

Dunking it under the water briefly then lifting it up to stuff into his mouth as he got to work on brushing his teeth. The sound of the bristles on them rang out to fill the quiet over the rushing water as he brushed his teeth when he looked in the mirror at the bags under his eyes. The dullness to his own gaze. It wasn't at all the bright, sparkling gaze he'd come to recognize. He looked tired and he was. He was utterly, completely exhausted.

Brushing his teeth quickly with foam gathering in the corners of his mouth, on his lips, he brushed his teeth thoroughly as he could. Running it over the front teeth and the back ones before bending over to spit his toothpaste out and rinse the bristles off before tapping it on the side of the sink. Placing it in its holder, he then opened the back of the mirror for his face wash and lotion along with the headband. Grabbing all three, he shut the mirror once more then reached up to take his hearing aids out.

His glasses off of his nose. The silence was nice. Unbelievably nice. Like he was putting the world around him on pause as he tugged the headband into place to hold his hair back away from his face then tugged his sleeves up away from his wrists and forearms before sliding his hands under the stream to gather the water up as he bent over. He splashed the water onto his face then rubbed his hands over his face and lifted his head up.

Blinking the water away, he pumped the face wash into his hand then rubbed his palms and fingers together to spread the facewash before bringing it up to wash his face. Rubbing the soap over his face as it sudded up and he made sure to get the sides of his face, his jaw, when he was surprised by the stubble under his fingers. He needed to shave. He could save it for the morning or he could do it now.

He hummed as he scrubbed his face before dipping his hands in the water to rinse them off before gathering water in his hands. Splashing it on his face. Rubbing it over to rid it of the suds and soap. Splashing water on his face again and again to make sure that his face was clear of water before reaching for the towel. He rubbed then patted his face dry as he made sure it was dry as possible before putting the towel down and shutting the water off.

Then he reached for his lotion which he pumped onto his fingers and rubbed together before beginning to spread it over his cheeks, chin, and forehead before working to rub it into his face firmly. Rubbing his palms to his cheeks, his fingers into his cheekbones and along his jaw. Over his forehead. He rubbed at his face that was flushed a light red from the vigorous movements of his hands as he rubbed the lotion over his face.

Rubbing the excess down along his throat the way he did every night. Once he was sure everything was on properly and not overly caked on, he hung the towel back up and he reached out. Grabbing his hearing aids to pop back into his ears as he stepped back into the world of sound. The TV seemed so much louder as he fussed with the placement of his hearing aids before he grabbed his glasses. Making sure not to touch the lenses, he padded across the bathroom and flicked the light off.

He was officially ready for bed. He just needed his face to dry a little more before he touched the pillow but he was fine for bed tonight. It helped his mind at least a little bit. It wasn't spiraling like it had been moments before. He felt calmer. Walking over to his bed, he climbed up onto it while being mindful of his glasses as he crawled over his phone to his side of the bed with a huff as the bed bounced beneath him.

He settled into place as he put his glasses on the bedside table when his phone pinged. It had him blinking before looking to the blurry view of his phone case glowing up at him as his heart jumped in his chest. A sickening lurch that had him sucking in a trembling breath as his hands fidgeted then he reached for his glasses. He slid them onto his nose despite how they slipped but he ignored it. Ignored it as he shook out his shaking hands before licking his lips.

It could be possible it was Taishiro. Or Nemuri. Or Oboro. Or Tensei. It didn't mean it had to be him. And yet he couldn't stop himself from hoping, hoping, hoping as he grabbed his phone that he held in his hand as he took a deep, slow breath. Holding it down, down, down in his chest for a moment before letting it out slowly. Letting it out on a rasping exhale when he flipped his phone over to stare at the screen and his heart jumped in his chest wildly. Shouta.

Shouta texted him. Finally, finally, finally. He was in a rush to get his phone screen unlocked then his thumb was tugging down on the top of his screen and he was opening their texts up to find-

Shouta: ure right we do need 2 tlk. how about u come 2 my apartment tmrrw & we can tlk then? sound fair?

Hizashi: It sounds more than fair. You know I'm going to show up as soon as I can get someone to watch Toshi and Izu, right? Like I'll be there as soon as I can?

Shouta: i wuldnt expect any less, zashi. i gotta do the same wit Eri

Shouta: but i'll see u tmrrw?

Hizashi: I'll see you tomorrow