"You did what?"

Hizashi flinched at the shriek that left the dark purple-haired woman before him as she all but slammed their drinks onto the table. Sky-blue eyes were wide as they flicked over his uncomfortably hot face as he fidgeted. He knew he never had to tell her; he knew he could keep it to himself. That he should keep it to himself and yet he found himself opening his mouth and- "I fucked Shouta. All night. And all of Sunday morning."

Red lips parted as Nemuri's eyes stared at him with an incredulousness as her hands pressed to the table as her glasses slipped down her nose slightly. Her eyes wide at him with a look of shocked awe that had him wanting to duck his head down. To hide his hot face away from her probing gaze when she sat down heavily in the chair next to him with her lashes fluttering in a blink. "You fucked Shouta the day you went over to talk to him? And all of Sunday morning? Hizashi Yamada!"

"I'm not going to sit here and say I'm sorry about it! Because I am so not sorry about it! At least, I don't think so? I don't think I'm sorry?" His cheeks were uncomfortably hot when he reached out to wiggle his drink from the tray Nemuri had brought when he began toying with the straw slightly as he tore his gaze from the awed woman before him. "I don't know how to feel about it. In the moment I was just, like, so happy I did it but now that I've had time to sit on it? I'm not exactly sure how to feel about fucking him, you know?"

Nemuri blinked at him again when she then lunged forward with her hand grabbing his shirt to pull him tightly to the table. He yelped at the sudden action when her fingers were curling into his turtle neck and before he could stop her, her fingers were dragging the cloth down to reveal his throat. And he knew what she saw; day old hickeys. Soft bruises that were fading away when her mouth dropped open again before releasing him. "Hizashi Yamada, you've kept this hidden for five days? How did this even happen?"

"I don't know! One minute I was-was yelling at him, he was yelling back, and then I said something and then the next thing I know we're making out! I don't understand any of it! And then, before I fucking know it, we're in the bedroom and he's fucking me, Nem! It wasn't premeditated or anything! I just- I don't know what happened." He hated the slight crack to his voice when Nemuri's gaze then softened at him with her lips pinching together when he took a breath. "I think I fucked up, Nem. I shouldn't have done it but I weirdly don't regret it."

"So, what you're telling me is that you had angry, passionate sex with this guy? That's what I'm hearing at least so I got that right, don't I?" Nemuri questioned with her red nails tapping on the table to which he nodded with his fingers straightening his turtleneck out when the woman then sighed out as she leaned her cheek into her hand. "Oh, Hizashi, my love, you have fucked up. I'm not going to shame you for getting some but did you think at all about the repercussions of this? Didn't you think of stopping it?"

"I maybe had one itsy, bitsy moment where I thought to end it but I-I didn't. I didn't because it felt so fucking good , Nem. Oh, I can't even tell you how fucking good it was finally acting on that tension, you know?" He sighed out when he then scowled at the dark purple-haired woman when he toyed with his straw before he shifted in his seat slightly. Swirling his drink when he then pointed at the woman. "Was it or was it not you and Oboro telling me not even days before that I should fuck him?"

"We were drunk, Zashi! Neither one of us thought you were actually going to go out and fuck the guy!" Nemuri protested with an incredulous note to her voice when he lifted his cup up towards his lips. Sticking his straw between his lips then sucking at the coffee with a sigh through his nose at the vanilla taste. Damn, it was fucking good. Unbelievably good. And then Nemuri had spots of pink on her cheeks as she leaned forward slightly with a little pout on her lips. "How was it, though? You know, friend to friend?"

He couldn't help grinning as he sucked at his coffee with one, two, three gulps before placing the cup down with ice rattling against the sides of the cup. His fingers tracing over the cover when he let his gaze drop from the woman when he licked his lips to rid them of any tracing of coffee. "Nem, you might think me dramatic but it was the best fucking sex I've ever had! I swear, there's nobody who could've fucked me better that Shouta did! He was just the right amount of rough and gentle to get me off multiple times!"

There was a sparkle to those sky-blue eyes when the pout melted off of her red lips. Then Nemuri was shifting slightly with her fingers toying with the straw of her own drink when her legs shifted beneath the table with a light thud hitting against the underside of the table. "That sounds mighty passionate, Zashi. I mean, angry sex is some of the best sex out there, I hear! Clearly, I wouldn't know personally but I've ready some pretty steamy books in the past and I hear angry sex is some damn good sex."

"Oh, it was! I mean, I don't know if it was because blood was pumping or tensions were high but I had the time of my life, Nem! It was wrong, I knew it was, but it made it all the spicier, you know?" He sighed out then with his fingers rolling over the edge of his plastic cup when he leaned forward slightly in his seat with his ankles crossing slightly. "I'll say it now, completely serious, but if I had the chance to go back to that day, I think I'd still fuck him. I know it's wrong to throw sex into it but it was some of the best sex I've had in years."

"Well, it doesn't help that you've practically been in a dry spell for years, Zashi, you know that, right? Your horny brain took the first chance it could to get some and that person just so happened to be Shouta." Nemuri paused then when she then sighed out softly with those dark lashes fluttering at him when her hand raised to push her glasses up. "I understand angry sex is steamy and hot, but maybe, in a strange way, it worked out for the best. Maybe this is what you needed out of your system. Did you at least confess?"

"Well, first off, don't make me sound like an animal in heat and blame my horny brain! And secondly, I kind of did? I mean, I was really mad at him and I think I said that I couldn't believe I liked him and that I couldn't believe I was going to confess to him if that counts?" He toyed with his straw when Nemuri sighed with her eyes staring at him with a look of pity. Of exhaustion. It had his cheeks burning anew when he looked away from her. "I can't say I regret it, Nem. I really can't. It was-was everything I imagined it being!"

"I know you don't, honey, but you know that going forward you need to figure this all out, right? You need to confess properly to Shouta so there's no mistakes. You need to clear this up and figure out just what the two of you want from each other. Is this going to be a sex thing now? Are you still friends? Is Shouta going to date you? Is this going to turn into a relationship properly? Or is it going to be horny, friends with benefits type of situation? You need to figure out what you want, Zashi, and you need to be clear when you tell him."

Nemuri was right. He knew she was right. It had his shoulders scrunching up slightly when he sighed out as he swirled his straw through his coffee before lifting it up to suck at the straw. Gulping at his coffee, he sighed out through his nose when he popped off of the straw then fiddled with it with his fingers. "You're right, Nem. Of course you're right. I know I need to figure out what I want and what I need from him. I don't think I want this to be just a sex thing or just a friends with benefits thing. I want to be with him, like as a couple."

"Then you need to find a way to say that to him, Zashi. The sooner you say it the sooner things can be done. The sooner you'll know how Shouta feels because even though you fucked, even though you had fun, there's still the matter of figuring this all out. And I don't want you hurting, Zashi. You're my best friend after Oboro." Her hand then stretched out with fingers curling slightly and he moved his hand from his straw to place it in her delicate one with another soft sigh.

"Again, you're right. I shouldn't hook up with him again until I explain my feelings to him. I haven't seen him since we hooked up but I asked him to come over on Saturday to help me with some things around the house while the boys are with my mothers." He paused then when he felt Nemuri's hand squeezing at his gently to which he returned gently. "I promise, Nem, I may be a bisexual disaster but I'm not going to fuck this up. I'll confess again to Shouta on Saturday when I have a clear head. When I'm not angry."

"Good. You're a good man, Zashi, and I know Shouta sees that. I'm sure, more than anything, that if he was willing to fuck you that he has some feelings for you, you know? I mean, I don't want to consider the other option that he doesn't but I have a feeling that he does feel the same. You just gotta crack that exterior of his." A soft smile curled over Nemuri's lips then when her hand squeezed his again with her thumb rubbing over his knuckles. "You'll do good by yourself, honey. I know that you will, you always have."

Squeezing Nemuri's slender hand, he smiled softly at the woman in response. He knew that he could do this; that he could confess to Shouta again without the anger. If Nemuri believed in him then he ought to believe in himself, shouldn't he? What was the worst thing that happened come Saturday? That Shouta didn't feel the same? "Thank you, Nem. I think you'll make for a good Mom to Tenko, you know that? You were the right balance of scolding and gentle with me, I'm sure you'll do amazing as a motherly figure!"

This had that smile on her lips widening with a sparkle to her sky-blue eyes as she squeezed his hand then rubbed her thumb over his knuckles again. He liked that he could make her happy, no matter how small it was and he truly believed his words. Nemuri will make for an amazing mother to that child. "Thank you, Zashi. I worry that I won't be a good mother but hearing it from you as well as from Oboro? It's an amazing confidence boost that I'm not sure that I deserve but I appreciate it. I trust you'll do good, Zashi."

"Thank you, Nem, really! You're one of the closest best friends that I have and you're like another sister to me! Thank you, for giving me that gentle scolding of yours! I thank you, seriously, for listening to my drama shit show!" He slid his thumb against her pinky finger then when the woman rubbed her thumb over his knuckles. He lifted his coffee up to sip at it with the dark purple-haired woman squeezing his hand gently again. He knew she was right. Knew it in his core.

"Any time, Zashi. Any time."

The quiet whistling howl of the wind outside.

The cool floor beneath his feet.

The hot water gushing over his hands leaving them warm to the touch.

Hizashi sighed out softly as he rubbed the sponge along the inside of the pot with suds spreading over the interior as he hummed softly to himself. The black world outside the window hid the snowflakes that swirled down but he could just barely make it out through the soft yellow light of his sink light. He scrubbed at the pot that still smelled like the curry he'd made tonight. The boys had devoured it happily; they always loved a good meat curry and rice.

Tonight, had been a hit when it came to dinner and he was happy for that. His boys were hardly picky eaters but he wanted them to have diversity. He wanted them to appreciate the meals he made even if it was a small compliment or a glimmer of excitement in their eyes. Scrubbing at the pot with the sponge, he grabbed the nozzle of the sink faucet to bring it down and begin spraying at the sides of the pot.

Water gathering into the pot as he sprayed the sides them dumped the soapy water out of the pot with a quiet hum to himself. He began to scrub the spots he'd missed with the sponge, suds forming beneath his fingers as he scrubbed at the pot as thoroughly as he could. He then rinsed the sponge out under the faucet and placed it on the side of the sink before washing out the inside of the pot.

Dumping out the soapy water then letting it fill up slightly as he swirled the pot with the water swirling within it. He was exhausted. It had been a very long day, it seemed, and he was more than ready to climb into bed. He was ready to go to sleep. When Nemuri had left after their talk, he'd found himself devouring his lunch in record time and then behind the counter. Something he hadn't done in so long since he'd hired workers for himself.

He'd thrown himself into checking out customers until the sun had dipped into the sky. He'd been delighted to spend time chatting with his customers about the books they were buying. Nemuri had gone to pick up the boys who seemed happy to content themselves to playing in his office while customers came in and out. It wasn't until he was flipping his sign that the boys had trotted out in search of a book to read in the back chairs of the room while he cleaned.

Scrubbing down surfaces, mopping the floors, vacuuming the carpet in front of the door, and counting out the till before putting the money away in the vault of his in his office. His sons, surprisingly, had been tired today when he herded them to his car and drove the three of them home. They'd curled up on the couch together while he got dinner on for the three of them and he was happy to get them served up. He didn't get a single protest when he announced that it was time for bed.

The boys merely nodded and crawled up the stairs after one another to brush their teeth. It had been amazingly easy brushing hair, getting teeth brushed, and getting into their pajamas. Their giggles as he heaved them into bed had been utterly adorable as he tucked them into bed with their stuffed animals. There hadn't been a single protest tonight which he was thankful for. He couldn't deny that he was also exhausted; just as tired as his sons seemed to be tonight.

He sighed out quietly as he swirled the water around the pot again before dumping out the water. Repeating the action again and again, he then placed the pot on the counter with water gathering on it already. He then picked up his sponge and reached for a plate that he ran under the water first then began to scrub with the sponge. Suds running down his fingers and dripping off of the edge of the plate as he scrubbed at it.

The hot water kept his hands warm while his toes wiggled against the floor which was painfully cool. He wanted to grab his slippers but there was no point in it when he was almost done with the dishes. Scrubbing the plate clean, he ran it under the water then put it in the dish-rack to drip dry tonight. He knew he could just load up the dishwasher and be done with this. However, like manning his store today, he found some enjoyment in washing the dishes by hand tonight.

As if, somehow, he was keeping himself busy. He wanted nothing more than to turn in for the night but all damn day, Nemuri's words had been running rampant through his mind. Had kept him restless. As much as he hated to admit it, the woman was right. She was always right. And this time was no difference to him; she was right about the situation that he put himself in with Shouta. Sighing out quietly to himself with his shoulders slumping slightly, he picked up Izuku's plate which he ran under the water

Beginning to scrub it down with the sponge. He didn't want to think about it but he knew that he had fucked up. No matter how thrilling the sex had been, he'd made a wrong decision by not drawing boundaries that next day. He should have but he hadn't. Where did this leave him now? In some kind of no man's land? What did he tell Shouta? He knew that he was going to confess to him again this weekend and dammit, he was going to try to do it with an even head.

He was going to try his best to do it when he was rational and not angry. Would Shouta accept his confession? Or would he merely reject him? Would he be surprised? Shocked that he said it not once but twice? He dragged his teeth over his lip where his canine dug into the corner of his lip slightly as he scrubbed at Izuku's plate. Running it under the water with a quiet hum to himself. His tooth digging into his lip when he placed Izuku's plate into the dish-rack then picked up his own plate.

Running it under the water with swirling motions before he brought the sponge down it to scrub it clean. He didn't know how to feel about this weekend; there was a nervousness that fluttered in his stomach leaving him breathless. There was an excitement in knowing that he would be seeing Shouta again. He couldn't stop thinking about the man ever since he returned home; it was so hard to stop. He couldn't stop himself from recalling how wild those black curls had been the next morning.

He couldn't stop recalling how those hands had slid over his skin. How his cock had slipped in and out of him effortlessly with a fullness that had him howling. How he twisted his hands in those black curls. Those full lips that crushed themselves to his own. The way the bed had bounced beneath them with the eager movements of one another. How the headboard had lightly hit off of the wall. The way Shouta had fucked him again and again as if he were insatiable.

As if he had to have him right then and there as many times as it took. And then there was the morning after where he'd had the heat of Shouta's mouth on him. The way his tongue had lapped, licked, and fucked him had left him swooning into the bed. The tender way Shouta had scrubbed his body clean while making sure he was clean between his thighs with a cloth. How sweet he'd been being careful when he jerked and jolted with fingers pressing gently into him to make sure he was clean.

Scrubbing his body with the loofah and then working his shampoo into his hair. The way those nails had scratched at his scalp as he swayed on his feet under the hot water. Oh, there had been a such a tenderness to the moment that he couldn't get over. It was as if Shouta really, truly cared for him. As if the aftercare was necessary before he went home. And he had to admit to himself that as hot as the sex had been, he adored that aftercare more than anything.

He adored the way the black-haired man had made sure he was clean; how he had scrubbed gently at his skin. How he washed his chest and stomach. His trembling thighs and his ass and back. How his lips had pressed lazily into his neck while he cleaned his body before scrubbing his hair. Oh, he could melt just recalling the tenderness in which Shouta had touched him. It had left him swooning. Over the moon delighted.

The tenderness and attentiveness that Shouta had shown him had been by far the sweetest way any partner had ever treated him. He'd been a shaky legged mess when Shouta followed him down to the lobby of his apartment building. They hadn't kissed but the longing in those dark eyes had spoken volumes to him. The longing to press their lips together had twisted into him but he'd fought the urge to do so. As if, somehow, it would be too much for a final parting.

He wished he'd kissed him. Just once. But Shouta had kept his distance as well; as if somehow it was made more real after their shower. He'd all but run for his car once he left the front doors. He couldn't say that he regretted how he'd spent his night or morning. If anything, he was happy they'd finally snapped. Happy that they'd finally broken and acted on the desire that had been simmering below the surface for months. But what did this mean now? Would Shouta want him?

Would Shouta want to be with him as his boyfriend? Or would he suggest that this could be a friends with benefits type situation? He had not a clue but he wanted nothing more than to be a good friend. A possible partner. Would Shouta react well if he confessed on Saturday? The clatter of the plate slipping out of his fingers had him jumping at the sudden noise as he focused his gaze on his hands. He reached down to grab his plate and run it under the water to rid it of the suds then placed it in the dish-rack.

He took a slow, even breath then let it out with a slight tremble as he picked up the spoons in the bottom of the sink. Scrubbing his sponge over them quickly then running them under the water, he then placed them in the little holder made for them. Then he squeezed and wringed out the sponge before placing it on the corner of the sink then running his hands under the water. Making sure they were soap free before he was shutting off the hot water.

He reached over to grab the towel that hung on the handle of the oven door and began to rub his hands clean as the dishes dripped. Rubbing the towel over his hands, he placed it on the counter then flicked the light over the sink off. Plunging the kitchen into darkness, he then padded forward with his breaths ringing out deafeningly in the quiet of the bedroom. His socked feet thudding quietly over the floor as he made his way forward past the freezer to the small hallway of his.

His fingers drifting over the side of the freezer when he skimmed past it with his socked feet ringing out over the carpeted floor. He drifted his fingers along the wall lightly as he made his way down it with the soft golden light of his bedroom calling him forward. It was like a beacon in the dark hallway as he padded forward with a yawn bubbling up his throat before bursting out of him as he swung himself into the hallway of his bedroom.

Pushing the doors open wider, he padded into the room then shut the doors behind him as his hands went to the hem of his turtle neck sweater. He'd been wearing as many turtlenecks as he could while he waited for his throat to heal up as he didn't want the boys to see it. He didn't want them to see the hickeys adorning his throat and think he'd gotten hurt somehow. The last thing he wanted is for them to panic.

At least his hair and blankets covered it up when the boys came for him in the morning should he sleep through his alarm. He sighed out as he flipped his sweater up over his stomach then up to his chest as he began to tug his arms through the sleeves. Shivering at the cool air hitting his skin as he then bunched his sweater up to ease over his head with his hair bunching up then slipping through the neckline.

He eagerly tugged his sweater up and over his head with his hair falling in a heap against his back as he shivered. He threw his bunched up sweater in the direction of the hamper in the corner of his bedroom. He reached down to work the button of his jeans apart, working his zipper down, and he reached in to grab the packer to tug it out and then he shoved his clothing down. Pushing them from his hips down his thighs to his knees as he hummed softly to himself as he reached his ankles.

He then carefully hooked his fingers into his socks to tug them off with the rest of his clothing. Wobbling on his feet as he stepped out of the ring of fabric, he straightened up then tossed the laundry towards his hamper. It slung over the side but he didn't mind it all that much. He'd fix it soon enough. He sighed out as he rolled his head slightly with his shoulders dropping down as his neck popped lightly. He was exhausted.

The day had lasted far too long for his liking and to top it off he'd stood at the stove close to an hour while cooking dinner to make sure it was perfect. He was more than ready to crawl into bed and stay there for the rest of the night. He sighed out, shivering at the cool air brushing his skin when he padded over to his dresser to grab a band t-shirt of his and a pair of pajama bottoms. Placing the bottoms on the dresser top, he shut the drawer and bunched the shirt up to slide over his head carefully.

Mindful of his hearing aids and his glasses. He happily tugged his shirt over his head then his arms through the sleeves as the hem fluttered down to his waist. He then opened the top drawer for a fresh pair of boxers that he stepped into then tugged up to his hips before reaching for the pajama pants. He stepped into them then tugged them up to his hips as they fluttered loosely down his pants as he then turned on his feet.

He might as well go through his face washing routine while he was at it. The thud of his feet over the carpeted floor was loud in the quiet bedroom as he looked over his bed where Reese, Twix, and Sterling slept. Cappella was sleeping on his pillow, curled up like she always was. He smiled softly at the cats on his bed as he padded to the bathroom; stepping over the threshold, he flicked the light on then stepped in front of the mirror.

He opened it up to reach in for his headband which he squeezed over his face to push his hair away from his face. Sliding into place behind his ears where it rested snugly. He grabbed his face wash and lotion then shut the mirror again with a light tremble of the glass. Turning the water on, he reached up to tug his hearing aids out one at a time then rested them on the back of the toilet carefully. The silence was nice. Heavy. Comforting.

Taking his glasses off, he placed them with his hearing aids with a slow breath that had his lungs expanding comfortingly. Then he bent forward over the sink as he let the water warm up before cupping his hands beneath the water then bringing it up to splash over his face. Rubbing his hands over his face fiercely then dipping his hands back under the warm water and bringing them up to wash his face again. He then blinked the water out of his eyes before reaching for the face wash to pump into his hand.

Rubbing them between his hands, he then lifted them up to begin rubbing the wash over his face as it sudded up effortlessly. Scrubbing firmly at his jaw, his cheeks, forehead and nose with the suds tickling his face before he dipped his hands under the water to rinse them off before cupping water. And, with his eyes squeezed shut, he brought the water up with a splash against his face. Repeating the action again and again as he washed his face of the soap when he felt the collar of his shirt soaking through.

Perhaps he should have waited before changing. Oh well, there was no changing it now. He finished rinsing off his face then reached blindly for the towel he had hanging up beside him on the wall. Bringing it to his face, he rubbed firmly at it with the towel grinding into his eyes then swiping at his forehead, his cheeks, and he was more than happy to be rid of the water as he opened his eyes. Peering into the mirror as the towel slid down the lower-half.

He was grateful he'd shaved the blonde stubble on his cheeks and around his mustache. It made him look more put together; neater. Dropping the towel down, he turned the water off then dried his hands off. Rubbing the towel over his hands until he was confident that they were perfectly dry. Then he reached out to grab his hearing aids to slide them back into place in his ears. Adjusting them over the shell of his ear as he then reached for his lotion.

Listening to the gurgle of the water slipping down the drain. Pumping the lotion onto his fingers, he spread the lotion between his hands then reached up to rub it over his face. Forehead, nose, cheeks, chin and jaw. His throat. Rubbing firmly into his skin with circles as he massaged the lotion into his face before feeling confident as he opened his eyes. Being this close to the sink, he could see the hickey's lining his throat.

Some were a bit darker than others while some were yellowing and disappearing. He was almost sad to see them go. He liked the idea that somehow someway he had evidence that what happened the previous weekend had happened. That he hadn't just had a vivid wet dream. Rubbing his fingers over his nose and the sides of it, he then reached out to grab his glasses. He knew it wasn't smart with the lotion on but he wanted to see at the very least.

Sliding his glasses up into place, he tugged the headband off of himself then gathered his face wash and lotion up. Returning them to their places behind the mirror carefully before shutting it. He then turned away from the sink with his hand reaching out to flick the light off. Rubbing his hands together with the excess lotion, he let out a sigh as he padded into the bedroom again. Walking around the large bed, he walked along the end of the bed with another deep breath before turning at the corner.

Walking along the side, he slid his hand over the sheets then reached up beneath his pillow to grab the edge of the blanket. Tugging it down and flipping it open scared Reese and Twix who hopped off of his bed and ran for the cat tower while Sterling merely stretched out with a chirp. He sat on the edge of the bed when he swung his legs up to slide beneath the blankets and tugged them up to cover his lower half. Leaning into the headboard, he grabbed his TV remote to flick the TV on.

Watching a late night show or movie wasn't going to kill him. It was only nine-ten right now so surely, it'd be fine. His TV powered up with a murmur when Sterling lifted her head up then rolled on the bed before standing on her little feet then padded over. He adored his little girl; she was adorably small despite being a fully matured age. She was gray with white paws and a white tipped tail, a clipped ear, and light blue eyes. She was perfectly adorable.

He happily clicked his tongue with the small cat padding forward then crawling into his lap. Spinning in a lazy circle before plopping down across his lap with a cheerful purr as he ran his hand over her small body. Purring so damn hard already she vibrated his hand as he ran it over her side as she tipped her head back. He slid his hand up to scratch gently behind her ear before running his hand down in a stroke as he curled her tail briefly around his fingers.

Then the turned his attention to the TV as he began flicking through the channels while his other hand stroked Sterling gently. Flicking aimlessly through the channels while the cat purred in his lap. He sighed out gently with his glasses slipping down his nose slightly to which he pushed them up with the end of the remote. Then he resumed flicking through the channels with a soft hum while he scratched behind Sterling's ear again. He settled on a movie channel that had a show running.

It was an older show from the looks of it but he didn't mind that too much. It gave the air of Golden Girls or Gossip Girl. It was slightly fuzzy but it didn't stop him from staring at the screen curiously or admiring the hazy hue to it. He ran his hand over Sterling with a soft hum as the small cat purred fiercely in his lap. Her eyes closing in contentment as her little head nudged against his stomach. It was nice focusing on something but he knew he couldn't avoid it for long.

After all, he'd be seeing Shouta on Saturday. He knew that he had at least a day to get his shit together. To figure out what he wanted to say to the black-haired man. What he wanted to explain or what he wanted to establish. He knew that he was going to confess again to the black-haired man but he was going to do it properly. He was going to say it in a way that it couldn't be mistaken. That it couldn't be hued with anger. He was going to state it plainly the moment he had the chance to do so.

Because like Nemuri said, he had complicated the situation by bringing sex into it. He knew that he could have said no, shoved Shouta away, or ignored his advances. But he hadn't. God, he'd melted like putty and had been happy to be taken to bed. He'd been marveling over how Shouta had kissed him that it left little room for him to say no. And he should have. He should have insisted on talking things out first. On getting through the conversation.

But he hadn't and that was on him but he knew that he could use Saturday to fix everything. He'd confess properly to Shouta and he'd make sure that he did it in a way that it wasn't confusing. A way that made it undeniable how he felt for the man. He knew that they were going wildly over bases and milestones by jumping straight into sex but he wants the black-haired man like nothing else. He wants him so damn bad he'd do anything just to be with him right now.

There was nothing he wanted more than that. Nothing he needs more than to have just a little time together. Something to give himself the reassurance that he could possibly have those feelings returned to him. After all, that passion, that desire, couldn't be faked. But it led to a whole round of other questions; did this mean that Shouta wanted him for his body or did he feel the same way? Would Shouta insist he only wanted him for his body or would he be willing to build something together?

He had not a clue, none, but God if he didn't want to question the black-haired man. If he didn't want to call him up right now so he could air out his questions. So, he could get them off of his chest before they had the chance to fester in him for the next day or so. He didn't want to think that he was going to be facing a new change but he was. He'd introduced sex to their complicated friendship and now he didn't know how he was going to fix it when he didn't regret it one little bit.

Not one bit of him actually regretted what the two of them had done the previous weekend. He knew that he should, in some way, feel the regret eating at him but he didn't. It was like he had told Nemuri; he didn't regret what happened. What he should regret but didn't. He knew that he should take responsibility for what had happened and he was determined to do just that. He was more than willing to admit that he had somehow fucked up by bringing sex into this.

By not saying no. But he couldn't deny that there was a strange relief that came with knowing that he had finally acted upon the lust, the desire, the attraction he'd been feeling to Shouta since the beginning. Because God, as mortifying as it was to admit it, he had felt that attraction to Shouta from the beginning. He'd felt an attraction that he couldn't shake and he could admit it to himself at the very least.

He'd tried so hard to keep Shouta in the friend zone but he knew that Halloween had been the turning point of everything. There was something about that night that had triggered the waterfall of events. If he was looking back on it then clearly Shouta had felt that same attraction. He'd felt the same lust and desire in the oncoming months before and afterwards. It was an undeniable situation.

It was one that had been building up for months leaving him breathless when they finally acted upon it. There was nothing that could be changed about what happened, he knew that much. There was no going back in time to change that he had fucked Shouta. There was nothing he could do to fix the situation but he knew that going forward is what mattered the most. That going forward, he needed to treat this with some tact. With some delicacy.

He knew that there was nothing he could do but try to fix things. Try to establish something with Shouta. Because even if he planned on confessing, he knew that it was up to Shouta what he wanted as well. Would Shouta only want to be friends with benefits? Or would he want to be his boyfriend? Would he be happy if Shouta only wanted a friends with benefits situation? Would he be happy in a relationship like that? He didn't think so.

With the crush, the feelings, he held for Shouta he knew that he would be too hurt if they had that relationship. He'd be too possessive. He would never be satisfied if they were only friends with benefits. There would be something unfulfilling about it that he'd never be able to rest easy with. He'd never been the type to be a friends with benefits; yes, he had his one night stands but they were different. He never saw them again nor did he humor the idea of friends with benefits.

It was something he didn't believe that he could do easily when there were emotions attached. He was happy with his one night stands because he never saw them afterwards; there was no attachment. No strings. One of his one night stands, a woman, ended up being his girlfriend after they'd met at random. They'd lasted six months before they broke up because he wasn't "man enough" for her. However, Shouta had seemed to think him man enough.

Shouta had praised his body silently with that glimmer to those dark eyes that had him arching and twisting. Squirming and clawing to get the other man closer to him. It had been so long. Far too long. Perhaps Nemuri was right about that too; that he'd been in a dry spell for years without realizing it. And looking back on it, perhaps it was just that but he didn't regret a damn thing. He had Hitoshi to take care of and now he has Izuku.

One night stands were a thing of the past but he wanted more than anything than to be with Shouta. He didn't want to be a friends with benefits situation with the black-haired man. But what if Shouta didn't feel the same for him? What if Shouta really did only want him for his body? He'd been with two others like that; people who liked the male appearance of his and the "lady parts" of him. It was disgusting. And he didn't believe that Shouta was that type of man but what did he know?

He didn't know anything, clearly, after the weeks of silence they suffered through. He sighed out with his hand raising up to push through his hair. He wanted to stop the racing thoughts of his mind but he knew that he only had tomorrow to figure everything out. He might as well figure it out now before he was too lost in his own head. Before he stumbled over his words with Shouta. Because the last thing he wanted to be is to come across as nervous.

He wants to be able to say what he wanted without a thought. Without hesitation. He wants to give off a powerful, confident image to Shouta and make it clear what he wanted. What he needed from the other man. He wanted nothing more than to spill his guts to Shouta right now but he knew it wasn't right. This wasn't something he wanted to say over text message; he wanted to say it face to face. He wants to say it while he looked into those amazingly dark eyes of his.

And he wants to be able to read that face to the best of his ability when Shouta gave his response. He didn't want to say it over text. It was too personal for it to be said so impersonally over the phone like that. He wanted to be face to face and he'd have that chance when he met with Shouta on Saturday. It had his heart fluttering against chest with heat tingling across his cheeks at the thought. He couldn't wait for Saturday; he couldn't wait to see the black-haired man.

He couldn't wait to hear his voice. See his face. God, he was in deep with this man and sex had only made it more apparent how deeply he was with the black-haired man. He had a horrible crush; he likes Shouta so damn much. Did he love him? They were going on seven months since knowing one another so surely was that long enough to fall for someone? Was he falling for Shouta? Was it possible to fall without realizing it? Without processing it?

His lips pinched together slightly when Sterling chirruped at him in her meow to which he ran his hand over her. It had her purrs starting up again as he toyed with the remote in his other hand before placing it down. He wanted nothing more than to see Shouta right now. Would they twist up in bed the way they had been that night? Would he wake up in arms that held him tightly? Held him limply with the warmth of Shouta's body beneath the blankets?

God, he swore there was nothing better than having woken up that morning. In having Shouta so close, his warmth under the blankets, and his hands limply laying on his back. Having him so close as he snored softly was something that had never occurred to him in all of his fantasizing. In his fantasizing, he'd only ever imagined burying his hands in his hair. Kissing him. Making love to him. But he'd never thought of what it'd be like to wake up to Shouta in the bed.

What it'd be like to have his face being the first thing in the morning like that. And he had to admit he liked it. He liked that Shouta was indeed one of the first things he'd seen that morning when he'd woken in the man's bed. He liked that he'd opened his eyes only to find Shouta so close, drooling on the other pillow. His wild black curls knotted up to create a rats nest that took some time to work out in the shower.

There was something about the domesticity that he'd never figured in his fantasies. They'd always been rather passionate but he did have a few wants, didn't he? The desire to be swept off of his feet? To dance with Shouta in the kitchen while he cooked dinner? The desire to curl up on the couch together while he played with his curls? But he'd never imagined what it'd be like to fall asleep with him. What it'd be like to share a bed together like that again.

It was better than anything; better than he could have ever imagined it being. There was nothing he wanted more than to wake up in bed with Shouta again. To curl up in bed with their ankles interlocked together and knees pressing into one another as arms curled around his waist. Holding him close even while he slept with those snores in the back of his throat. There was something so amazing about that morning.

Something about the tranquil beauty of Shouta's face that had left him stunned. Had burned itself into the back of his mind. Sealing it there. It became something precious; something he'd thought about so many times this week. There was nothing he wanted more than to be able to see it again. To see the peacefulness to Shouta's face while he slept. Hear those soft, back of throat snores while full lips parted as he drooled onto his pillow.

There was nothing he wanted more than to experience that again. Experience the heartbreaking simplicity of watching his partner sleeping like that. There was nothing he wanted more than to be able to revel in that new little treat of his. This new side of Shouta that he would have never imagined until it happened. Scratching at his head, he dropped his hand from his hair when he was drawn to the tv with an airy sound that had him blinking.

Was this the same show he saw all those months ago? It had him blinking when he grabbed for the TV remote as the woman on screen moaned airily which had his stomach fluttering. He quickly changed the channel to an ambiguous movie as he ran his hand over Sterling who purred happily up at him. Squirming in his lap as her little head nudged his stomach with eyes shut with contentment. He loves this little cat so damn much.

Running his hand over her soft, silky fur again and again , he found his mind wandering again. What had been the catalyst that day? What had been said or done that led to Shouta kissing him like that? Was it the angry words he'd spit out at him? Was it something else? Was Shouta planning it long before he showed up? He had not a clue if it was premeditated or anything of the sort. All he knew is one second, they were shouting at one another and then he was being kissed so passionately it had his skin flaming.

Had him gasping through his nose as he kissed him back with an answering hunger. He'd been waiting so long just to kiss Shouta again that he hadn't thought twice about it. He hadn't considered for one moment saying no to the black-haired man who had kissed him hungrily. Passionately. He'd melted into his arms with the black-haired man holding him close. And then, of course, there was the moment when he'd been heaved into his arms and walked to the bedroom.

The morning after when Shouta had eaten him out with a tenderness that had him crying out again and again as he fisted at his hair. No one had ever eaten him out like that. He'd not had a lover in quite a while so what did he know? He'd been suffering through a dry spell according to Nemuri and maybe she was right. Maybe he really was suffering from a dry spell that had been broken temporarily. He had not a clue but he was more than happy to figure it out.

More than happy to see if perhaps there was something he was missing. He knew that he wanted Shouta physically now; just as much as he wanted him emotionally. He wanted to spend every damn day waking up in Shouta's arms. He wants to wake up to that peaceful face. He sighed out as he ran his hand over Sterling again and again with the cat purring up at him delightfully. He didn't know if it was right of him to have these fantasies but they refused to dissipate.

He wants nothing more than to experience that domestic bliss with the black-haired man. There's nothing he wants more than to be able to say he can experience it all. He was twisted up and he knew he needed to figure it out. He knew that he needed to figure out his feelings for the black-haired man before Saturday. He needed to know what he wanted to say, how he wanted to say it, and when he said it. There was nothing he needed more than to figure all of that out tomorrow.

It wouldn't be the worst thing if he wrote it out, would it? When he was a child, his mothers always encouraged journaling. That it would help him plan his thoughts and feelings out in a concise, practical manner. It was a tempting thought to break out a notebook and a pen tomorrow to write out what he wanted to say. What he wanted to say out loud to Shouta. Would it help him? He had not a damn clue but he knew he wanted to figure it out.

Hell, for all he knew, it was journaling that would help him figure out just what he wanted to say to the black-haired man. Tomorrow, he'd sit down in his office and he was going to write about what he wanted to say. What he felt and what he thought about the situation. He nodded to himself with his lips tilting up into a smile when those eyes slitted up at him. Light blue eyes staring up at him adoringly with paws kneading weakly at his lap as he ran his hand over the purring cat adoringly.

At the very least, journaling was going to be good for him. Nodding to himself, he slid his hand over the cat again and again adoringly when the foot of his bed wobbled when Twix jumped onto it again hesitantly. He smiled at the cat that was padding warily over the bed before plopping down on the bed with his body stretching out. Front paws stretching out with toes spreading ever so slightly with a quiet grunt leaving the cat which had him smiling.

Even if it was close to nine-thirty, he couldn't deny that he was also growing more tired. As if his body was ready to go to sleep already, he shifted slightly in his spot with Sterling complaining up at him from his sudden movements. He smiled apologetically down at the cat in his lap when his phone chirped. Vibrating over the wooden bedside table which had him turning towards his device to find his phone glowing up at him with a notification.

A text from Shouta. It had his heart leaping into his throat where it beat wildly when he slid his hand from the cat's small body to reach out to scoop his phone up. His heart was beating wildly in his chest. A savage thing that had him shifting slightly with Sterling jumping up from his lap with a huff that had him smiling at the small girl. And then he was turning attention to the phone in his hand. Did he want to text with Shouta?

It had been a while since they'd texted one another; after the awkward run to his car from Shouta's apartment building, they hadn't texted all that much. Mostly jokes about tenderness and soreness but they hadn't had a full conversation over text yet. He didn't know if he'd be able to sleep if he humored these texts with the black-haired man. But he wants to talk to him. Even if he can't hear his voice, the least he could do was talk to the black-haired man over text to get some type of comfort tonight.

Even if he wasn't confessing over text message the drawing, the longing, he felt to talk with the man was tugging at his chest leaving him utterly breathless. It was amazing how he could long and pine after one man. How he can want to talk to the man even if it was only text. Even if it was horrible exchanges back and forth with awful writing it would still be technically talking to Shouta, wouldn't it? He let out a sigh as he unplugged his phone from the charger then reached over to turn his lamp off.

Plunging the room into darkness save for his glowing TV screen, he shifted and laid out on his side when he paused then reached up to turn his heading aids off one at a time. Tugging them from his ears again, he reached out to put in the small charging case they came with. He was plunged into a silence that was far more comforting. He laid out on his side when he took a slow, even breath through his mouth then let it out on a trembling exhale. Alright , he'd talk to the man just a little bit. Then he'd go to bed.

Shouta: hey, zashi u up?

Hizashi: Yeah! I'm still up, just got the boys in bed and I'm in my jammies 😊 What are you up too tonight? More grading?

Shouta: the fact u know i have grading 2 do is psychic work, zashi 😌

Shouta: also i cant deny i just snickered when i read "jammies" lol who says jammies anymore?

Hizashi: Not psychic! I just know that as a teacher you always have grading to get done! And I do! I always say jammies! The boys call them that too so there! 😝

Shouta: well i suppose i could use jammies wit eri

Shouta: it might make her more willing to get IN them when its time 4 bed lol

Hizashi: Probably! You're a dad so you're gonna have to come up with lots of fun acronyms or abbreviations for things! It's what all parents do, anyways! 😁

Shouta: i guess i see ur point, zashi haha 😌

Hizashi: It'll get easier the bigger she gets! Right now, she's only two so I'm sure that soon enough she'll catch on and she'll start doing it too! It's all about time! I know I felt awkward with Toshi when I first adopted him at his young age but I quickly learned along the way! 😄

Shouta: ur confidence in me is absolutely astounding & overwhelming so thank u

Hizashi: Of course! It's what parents do! We support each other and give advice about milestones depending on how old children are! And you know I love giving advice, especially when it comes to your lil bug 😊

Hizashi: Are you going to bring her with you on Saturday? I feel like it's been so long since I've seen her and I miss that little baby like you wouldn't believe!

Shouta: no im not bringin her on saturday but u'll see her soon, i promise

Shouta: the only reason is because im not exactly sure what i'll be helpin with on saturday & i don't want her to be in the pack and play all day, u know? she's figured out how 2 crawl out of her crib already

Hizashi: Oh, I remember the first time Toshi climbed out of his crib! I woke up and he was on my chest, patting at my face and demanding cookies for breakfast! He was such an easy baby! You'd better believe that I went out and bought him a toddler bed that day which he absolutely loved!

Shouta: im sure he gave u quite the heart attack lol ik eri scared the shit outta me when i woke up & she was trying to crawl up onto my bed

Hizashi: Then I think it's time for a toddler bed for her! Get one with siding on it so she doesn't tumble outta bed! But if you DON'T get one with sides you can buy attachable, mesh sidings for the bed! I've seen them be used with my siblings but I bought Toshi a bed with siding on them with a gap at the foot for him to get out.

Hizashi: Kids just grow up in the blink of an eye, you know? One minute I have this little baby in my arms and then I blinked and now he's a fully grown six year old who is functioning on his own! It almost makes my heart ache sometimes, you know?

Shouta: i can imagine, i cant believe eri is already 2 sometimes

Shouta: but i like tht shes growin up, u know?

Hizashi: Oh, I bet! Before you know it, she'll be a self-sustaining little six year old! And then you won't have to worry as much about her being baby-ish and touching outlets

Hizashi: I can't wait to see her again, though! I really miss Eri sometimes

Shouta: oh wow i guess my presence isn't needed, huh? i bet u only talk 2 me for the baby 😤

Hizashi: Well, I mean she IS cuter than you 😝

Shouta: oh ok i see how it is u only like my adorable daughter & dont care 4 me

Hizashi: I care for you! I just think Eri is an adorable little two year old and I absolutely adore her! You're the one that lets me hold her all the time when she's over here! She calls me Unca Dada sometimes!

Shouta: mhmmm likely story

Shouta: i'll bring her over at some point & u can see how she gets into absolutely EVERYTHING nowadays

Shouta: u wont think shes adorable when shes tryin 2 get in ur drawers now will u?

Hizashi: Alright, alright, I get it! Two year old's are rambunctious and get into everything! But that doesn't mean that she can't still be adorable and that she can't be one of my favorite little people I know!

Shouta: seems like u like my daughter more than u like ME

Hizashi: Oh, Shouta, is someone JEALOUS over their own daughter? Tsk tsk, it's not a good look on you to be jealous of a TWO YEAR OLD

Shouta: who says im jealous? im merely pointing out that it seems like u enjoy my daughters presence more than mine

Hizashi: Oh, come now! You're not that dense, are you? I love BOTH of your presences just as much! And I'll tell you again to your face on Saturday!

Hizashi: Now, don't you have some work to grade tonight? I don't want to keep you too tied up and away from your work if you need to get it done by tomorrow, you know? I don't want you staying up too late then being fried and exhausted tomorrow while you're at work!

Shouta: sounds like u just wanna stop texting bc i caught u red-handed 😉

Shouta: but i suppose i SHOULD start workin on grading again so im not 2 far behind

Hizashi: Good! We can text when you're not busy! And besides, we'll be more than busy come Saturday and we'll have plenty of time to talk over a cup or two of coffee! Maybe I'll even make you dinner! 😉

Shouta: oh so u were gonna invite me over then not feed me? tsk tsk, zashi, thats not very host-like of u 😝

Hizashi: Oh, shut your mouth! I was going to feed you but if you think you SHOULDN'T be fed then maybe I won't! Maybe I'll just make dinner for me and the boys when my mothers drop him off! 😒

Hizashi: There's no rules or laws that say I HAVE to feed you, you know

Shouta: and yet i get the distinct feeling ur gonna feed me anyways because you care about me 😜

Hizashi: Oh, shut up! How about you do that work before it piles up, huh? You're such a procrastinator, I bet that your laptop is open and you're staring at your essays or grading system! I bet you've got all your work laid out but you're just texting me to avoid doing it!

Shouta: ouch, that hurts, zashi

Hizashi: Do your freaking work! And then maybe I'll reward you with a home cooked meal on Saturday! Or you might be subjected to my curry left overs because I made a SHIT TON without intending too 😅

Shouta: alright alright i'll do my freaking work as u put it.

Shouta: i'll talk to you l8tr ok? i hope u get some good sleep, zashi

Hizashi: I hope you're grading goes well! I'll talk to you later, promise!

Shouta: night, zashi

Hizashi: Night, Sho!

Putting his phone down on the bedside table, he couldn't help but feel wired up. He turned his phone screen off as he then shifted down with his hand on the remote to turn the TV off before returning it to the bedside table. Laying out on his side, he tugged the blankets up when he felt the cats around him. Padding on the bed when he felt a cat flop down against his back. It was nice. Like he wasn't completely alone in the darkness of his bedroom.

His heart was skipping against his chest in a light sprinting speed that had him absolutely nauseous with the way his stomach fluttered. Dropped. Icy pulses that went hand-in-hand with the odd excitement that was twisting into his chest. He tried to keep his breaths even as he turned his face into the pillow. Anything to make sure that he could get to bed tonight when he realized with a jolt his glasses were still on.

Grumbling to himself, he took his glasses off then slid them into the glasses case. And then he was burying his face into the pillow when he felt the delicate padding of a cat walking over the pillow. Then Cappella was curling around his head with deafening purrs that vibrated over his head delightfully when he reached up to give her a clumsy stroke. Loving the way, she squirmed then curled to his head when he opened his eyes to the blurry view of her little paws kneading at the pillow.

He smiled as he gave her another stroke when he fought the urge to shift when he felt a cat flopping against his stomach. It was hard to feel alone in bed when he had at least three cats laying with him as they purred furiously when he pets them. Curling up with him to leave him feeling like his bed was indeed full. His stomach was dropping sickeningly with his hands trembling as he fought the urge to kick his feet and squeal like a child.

He instead did his best to swallow it down as he nuzzled his head up against Cappella's stomach as the cat curled into him with those paws kneading at the pillow. He felt paws pressing into his chest to knead at him comfortingly which he happily accepted. He dropped his hand from Cappella to tug the cat against his stomach ever closer which got him delightful purrs as he ran his hand over Sterling's small body again.

Sleep felt close to impossible but with the purring of the cats around him, vibrations he relied on, he couldn't deny he felt relaxed. He felt content. He stroked Sterling gently with his fingers twirling her tail idly with a gentle tug. Then he was sliding his hand up to caress her little head as her paws kneaded at his chest. The pricks were painful, reminding him that he needed to clip nails this weekend while he had Shouta here. He dragged his teeth over his lip at the thought of Shouta coming over.

The excitement he felt that reared up and left him breathless. Like it was a wave washing over him with the intent of pounding him down into the sand. He fought the urge to wriggle again as he pets the small cat before him who cuddled into him. Paws kneading lazily with nails lightly pricking into his skin. He clutched the cats closer to him when he lifted his hand from Sterling to reach up and pet Cappella which had her purring hard against his head.

Doing so with vibrations that had his lashes fluttering shut as he turned his face into the pillow. One day. He had exactly one day to figure out what he wanted to say, how he wanted to say it, when and why he wanted to say it. He had time to plan it all out. Tomorrow, he'd do what his mothers often suggested he do and he was going to journal it all out. Write it out of his head so he could read and understand just what he felt. What he wanted.

He was more than determined to figure out his own feelings tomorrow and figure out how to confess to Shouta again. There was nothing he wanted more than to figure this all out. To untangle it so it was at least somewhat understandable and something that could help him going forward. Because he wanted to be ready when he saw Shouta on Saturday; he wanted to know what to say and how to say it.

Sighing out, he pressed his face into the pillow with his breaths coming evenly as the cats around him purred furiously. He'd do all of that tomorrow. Tomorrow when he had a much clearer head. For now, he let himself sink into the comfort of the bed and his pillow while the cats purred around him. He was more than happy to lose himself in those rumbling cats around him that were lulling him into a calmer state. Purring rumbles that were luring him into calming himself down despite the skips of his heart.

It was a sickening sensation to feel his heart fluttering and skipping the way that it was. It threatened to have his stomach flutter and drop sickeningly with that intensity that he would recognize anywhere. He let out a slow, trembling breath as he curved into the mattress with his lashes fluttering on his cheeks. Trying his best to calm the excitement in his chest that was threatening to key him up and keep him awake. He just needed to relax. Tomorrow. He'd figure everything out tomorrow.