Hello, guys! Hope you enjoy this new chapter. Try not to get too mad at me at the end. One step forward, two steps back? Maybe.
Also, enjoy the next subplot I added in here. I think it might be interesting.
With love,
White Tigresss
Chapter 08 - What if I hurt us?
While Emily was settling into Spencer's barn, Alison was heading to the police station, Veronica Hastings at her side. The air inside the interrogation room was sterile and heavy, the fluorescent lights casting harsh shadows.
Detective Marco Furey sat across from Alison, flanked by Lorenzo Calderon. Veronica adjusted her blazer and gave Alison a nod of reassurance.
"So, Alison," Marco began, his eyes sharp. "We wanted to ask about something Toby Cavanaugh mentioned in his recorded statement."
Veronica cut in immediately. "Detectives, if this concerns Mr. Cavanaugh's statement, he should be the one answering your questions."
"Mrs. Hastings," Lorenzo said smoothly, "I promise we'll speak to Mr. Cavanaugh. But Ms. DiLaurentis might have context or insight that he doesn't."
"It's okay, Mrs. Hastings," Alison interjected softly. "I'll answer."
Veronica sighed but leaned back, watchful.
"What do you know about the N.A.T. Club?" Marco asked.
Alison froze, her breath catching in her throat. Of all the questions, that was the one they led with. The N.A.T. Club was a Pandora box—one that could blow up at any moment.
"Alison?" Veronica's voice was softer this time, a lifeline.
"The N.A.T. Club…" Alison started, her voice low, "was chaos. It stood for Nos Animadverto Totus—'I see all.' They recorded things they shouldn't have, things that could ruin people. And some of them turned it into blackmail material. I still have one of their flash drives."
Marco's brows rose. "You've been holding evidence all this time? Why didn't you turn it in?"
Veronica's voice cut like glass. "Detective Furey, if you threaten my client again—"
"It wasn't like that," Alison interrupted. "Back then, I thought it was insurance. I didn't realize the weight of what I had. And honestly? Would it have made a difference if I had turned it in? Garrett Reynolds was a police officer. He would've buried it before anyone could blink." Her voice trembled but stayed steady.
Lorenzo leaned forward, his tone gentler. "Alison, were you part of the N.A.T. Club?"
"No, I wasn't."
"Do you know anyone who might have been a member?"
Alison gulped. She knew there was a list of people. Melissa Hastings, Jenna Marshall and her brother, Jason, were all still alive and out there. But she wasn't sure of how much they were involved.
She gave Veronica a look that signaled they would talk later and then replied, "Ian Thomas, Garrett Reynolds—they were in deep."
Marco snorted, "The same ones Toby mentioned. Conveniently dead."
"Not surprising. They were the ones handling the heavier stuff," Alison quipped.
"And how did you get the recordings? Did you know Ian Thomas and Garrett Reynolds in any capacity" Marco pressed.
It was another question that made Alison freeze. She was very ashamed that she had flirted and kissed Ian in order to get the videos the N.A.T. Club had. At the time, she remembered feeling a mix of power and self-disgust. But now what was left was shame and the lingering feeling she had been another victim.
She thought she was the one with the power. But she wasn't.
However, it wasn't like Alison could lie about her liaison with Ian. The police probably knew about it, since he was one of the suspects of killing her back when they believed she was dead.
That's why she hesitated, her stomach twisting with shame. "I flirted with Ian. Played his game to get the flash drive. And Garrett… he was Jenna's boyfriend. That's how I knew him."
Marco studied her for a long moment. "Do you know what happened to them?"
Alison's lips tightened. "Wilden killed Garrett. I'm sure of it. As for Ian… I killed him. He was trying to kill Spencer, and I—" She stopped, her voice breaking slightly. "I had to stop him. I pushed him out of the church's bell tower. A—Mona—staged a suicide and faked a letter. But I was the one who did it."
The room was silent. Even Veronica, always composed, stared at Alison with something akin to wonder.
Finally, Lorenzo nodded. "Thank you, Alison. You're free to go."
Alison stood, her knees trembling slightly. Veronica placed a protective hand on her arm, guiding her out of the interrogation room.
The car ride back was heavy with tension. Veronica Hastings kept her eyes on the road, her hands steady on the wheel, though Alison didn't miss the subtle tension in her knuckles.
It was Veronica who broke the silence. "I never got the chance to thank you for saving Spencer's life. More than once, actually."
Alison shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her voice soft but steady. "You don't have to thank me, Mrs. Hastings. I owed her that—and more."
There was a brief pause before Veronica spoke again, her voice sharper, more pointed. "You knew more than you let on back there, didn't you?"
Alison hesitated, her fingers fidgeting with the strap of her bag. She couldn't outmaneuver Veronica Hastings—not here, not now. "Jason. Jenna. Melissa. They were all part of the N.A.T. Club. I'm not sure of the extent of their involvement, but… they were connected."
Veronica's face remained composed, but Alison noticed the slight twitch in her jaw and the tight grip on the wheel. Veronica Hastings was the definition of control under pressure, but even she had limits.
"They were being blackmailed," Veronica said slowly, almost as if she was weaving her narrative out loud. "Jason, for his drug use. Jenna, for what she did to Toby. And Melissa…" She sighed. "Melissa was covering for Spencer's drug addiction."
Alison nodded. It was the safest version of the truth.
"I wish they'd given me a heads-up before pulling you into that line of questioning," Veronica said, her voice tight with frustration. "I could have prepared you."
Alison shrugged lightly. "That's probably why they didn't. They wanted to catch me off guard."
"Well, it won't happen again," Veronica said firmly. "I'm vetoing any further lines of questioning like that unless I'm properly informed beforehand."
The car rolled to a stop in front of Alison's house. Veronica turned to her briefly. "I'll need to head back to the office. The girls are probably at the barn, and Peter's home if you need anything."
"Thank you, Mrs. Hastings," Alison said sincerely as she slipped out of the car.
But before she could take two steps toward her porch, a furious-looking Hanna Marin emerged from the shadows, marching straight toward her.
"Hanna," Alison greeted her cautiously, her voice softer than usual. "Why aren't you inside with the others?"
"I was leaving," Hanna replied sharply. "But lucky me, I ran into you first."
Alison braced herself. This wasn't going to be a friendly chat. "What do you want, Hanna?"
"To tell you to stay away from Emily." Hanna's voice was firm, but there was a tremor in it—fear, maybe. "You and I both know she deserves better. You're going to hurt her, Alison. Just like you've hurt everyone else."
Alison swallowed hard, the words hitting her like sharp glass. "You're probably right," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "But I promised her I'd stay, Hanna. And I'm selfish enough to love her even when I know I don't deserve her."
"That's the problem with you," Hanna shot back, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "You make promises you can't keep. You spin your words into something pretty and then you ruin everything. I won't let you do that to Emily."
Alison's lips pressed together as she steadied herself. "I know I've failed people before. I know I've failed you before, Hanna. But I'm trying. I'm trying so hard to be better. For Emily. For myself."
Hanna shook her head, frustration etched into every line of her face. "Trying isn't always enough, Alison. You can't just undo the damage you've caused with good intentions."
The weight of Hanna's words settled heavily between them. Alison's voice cracked slightly as she spoke, "If there's anything I can do to make things right between us—"
"Just stay away from her!" Hanna interrupted, her voice breaking.
Alison stood her ground, her chin lifting slightly. "That's the one thing I can't do."
"Fuck you, Alison," Hanna spat as she shoved past her, their shoulders colliding with enough force to make Alison stumble slightly.
But before Hanna could fully storm off into the night, Alison spoke—her voice sharp and deliberate.
"What makes me so different from Mona?"
Hanna froze mid-step, then turned on her heels. "Don't you dare compare yourself to Mona!" she shouted, her voice trembling with rage. "She was just another one of your victims!"
"She hit you with her car, Hanna! She locked Emily in a barn and left her to die!" Alison's voice rose to match Hanna's fury. "But you forgave her. You chose to love her despite everything. Why can't I have that chance with Emily?"
"You're not Mona!" Hanna snapped. "Mona's different! She's—she's—"
"You're her Emily," Alison said softly, her voice cutting through Hanna's anger like a knife.
Hanna flinched as if Alison had struck her. Her lips parted slightly, but no words came out.
"You're projecting, Hanna. You're not just scared that I'm going to hurt Emily—you're terrified Mona is going to hurt you again. And you can't admit it to yourself, because if you do, everything will fall apart."
"Stop it!" Hanna's voice cracked, her hands clenched into fists. "Mona actually needs help!"
"And you're the one who keeps saving her, aren't you?" Alison pressed. "Where's Caleb right now, Hanna?"
That name hit like a sledgehammer. Hanna's breath caught, and for a brief moment, the hurt was etched across her face, raw and exposed.
"Just—just stay away from me, Alison!" Hanna choked out, her voice thick with anger and something else—something fragile.
Without another word, she turned and disappeared into the night, leaving Alison standing alone under the faint glow of the porch light.
Alison let out a shaky breath, her arms wrapping around herself as the weight of the confrontation settled over her. She had said what she needed to say—but why did it feel like she'd just lost another friend?
When Alison stepped into the barn, the exhaustion was written all over her face. The weight of her statement at the police station still clung to her, dredging up pieces of her past she'd rather keep buried. And the confrontation with Hanna—it stung in a way she couldn't quite shake.
Emily noticed immediately. Without hesitation, she crossed the room and pulled Alison into a hug. Alison froze for half a second before she melted into it, her eyes closing as she let herself sink into Emily's warmth. For a fleeting moment, she felt safe.
"Are you okay?" Emily whispered into her ear.
Alison sighed, her voice heavy. "The statement was… draining."
A throat cleared nearby, pulling them out of their little world.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but we're still worried about Hanna," Aria said softly. Emily and Alison separated, both looking slightly flustered.
"What happened with Hanna?" Alison asked, though her gut told her she already knew the answer.
"She… she had an argument with us and left," Spencer explained, her brow furrowed with concern.
"Why?" Alison pressed.
Emily shifted uncomfortably. "She told me you were going to hurt me again. And I told her you wouldn't."
Alison's eyes softened as she looked at Emily. There was something so disarming about Emily's faith in her—it settled warmly in her chest, even if it came wrapped in guilt.
"She wouldn't let it go," Aria added. "Spencer and I stepped in and told her we didn't think you'd hurt Emily."
"Thank you," Alison said, glancing between Aria and Spencer. "I mean it."
"Don't make us regret it," Spencer said, her tone steady and unyielding. It wasn't a threat, but a reminder. Alison met her eyes and nodded once.
"I ran into Hanna too," Alison admitted after a brief silence. "She told me to stay away from Emily, and I told her I wouldn't. She's still angry with me… and honestly, she has every right to be."
The silence in the barn lingered for a moment before Alison spoke again.
"There's more," she said quietly.
Emily's brow furrowed with concern. Spencer and Aria shifted slightly, leaning in as if bracing for impact.
"When I was talking to Hanna… things got heated. She told me—no, she warned me—to stay away from Emily. And I told her I wouldn't." Alison paused, her voice tightening as she remembered Hanna's sharp words. "But then I said something I probably shouldn't have."
"What did you say?" Emily asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper.
Alison hesitated, glancing at Spencer and Aria before returning her gaze to Emily. "I asked her… what makes me so different from Mona."
The weight of those words seemed to fill every corner of the barn.
"What?" Spencer said, disbelief flashing across her face.
"I know it sounds harsh," Alison said quickly, holding up a hand. "But I wasn't trying to hurt her—I was trying to understand her. Because Hanna keeps running back to Mona, over and over again, despite everything Mona's done to her. And yet… she won't give me that same grace."
"That's not the same thing," Aria said, shaking her head slightly.
"I know it's not," Alison admitted, her voice cracking a little. "But I also think Hanna's scared. She's scared of what I might do to Emily because deep down, she's scared of what Mona might do to her. I think I hit a nerve when I said that. And then I brought up Caleb, and…"
Emily's eyes went wide. "Ali, why would you bring up Caleb?"
"Because she's losing him," Alison said softly. "Hanna's trying so hard to hold everything together—her friendship with all of you, her relationship with Caleb, even whatever bond she has with Mona—but she's spread so thin she's breaking."
The barn fell quiet again.
Spencer pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Hanna's always been stubborn, but this… this feels different."
"She's angry," Emily said, her voice trembling slightly. "And hurt. And instead of letting herself feel those things, she's lashing out at the people she thinks are going to hurt her first."
Alison nodded. "That's exactly it. But Emily, I need you to know… I meant what I said to her. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to leave you."
Emily looked at her for a long moment before giving her a small nod. "I believe you."
Spencer crossed her arms, looking down at the floor for a moment before speaking. "So what now? Do we let Hanna cool off, or do we try to talk to her again?"
"I don't think she's ready to listen yet," Alison said. "But someone needs to check on her. She shouldn't be alone right now."
"I'll text Caleb," Aria offered. "He might know where she went."
Spencer nodded in agreement. "Good idea."
Emily glanced back at Alison, her expression a mix of gratitude and worry. "Are you okay, though? After all of that?"
Alison hesitated before giving a faint smile. "I will be. Eventually."
The barn fell quiet again, the weight of everything they had shared hanging heavy in the air. Aria was still typing out a quick message to Caleb, while Spencer seemed lost in thought, her arms crossed tightly over her chest.
"But I came here to talk about my statement as well," Alison added. "The police are asking questions about the N.A.T. Club. I thought you should know."
"What did you tell them, Ali?" Spencer asked, her voice sharp and steady.
"All the things we already know: that they were a bunch of creeps, and that Ian and Garrett are dead."
"What else?" Emily pressed gently, her concern etched across her face.
"I didn't tell the cops about Jason, Jenna, or Melissa. But I told your mom, Spence," Alison admitted, her voice softening slightly. "She instructed me to say that all of them had been blackmailed by Ian and Garrett. I think the police might call all of you for a statement as well."
The girls exchanged brief glances, the weight of Alison's words settling over them.
"Thanks for letting us know, Ali," Aria said quietly, her voice carrying a note of gratitude.
Emily's gaze lingered on Alison, her brows furrowed with worry as if she could sense there was more Alison wanted to say.
Alison shifted uncomfortably, her arms crossing over her chest before she glanced at Spencer and Aria. "Hey… could I talk to Emily alone for a minute?"
Spencer's eyes narrowed slightly, flicking between Alison and Emily, but after a brief pause, she gave a small nod. "Sure. Aria and I will step outside for a bit."
Aria hesitated, her gaze flickering to Emily as if silently asking if she was okay with this. But Emily gave a small nod, and Aria relented, slipping her phone into her pocket as she followed Spencer toward the barn door.
"We'll be right outside if you need us," Aria said softly before stepping out into the cool night air, the door creaking shut behind them.
The barn felt still in the moments after Spencer and Aria left, the soft creak of the door closing behind them lingering in the air. Emily turned back to Alison, her expression gentle yet attentive, waiting for her to speak. Alison hesitated, her arms folding across her chest as if bracing herself for the words she needed to say.
"I didn't mean for tonight to turn into… this," Alison said softly, her voice trembling just enough for Emily to notice.
"It's not your fault, Ali," Emily replied, stepping closer. "Hanna's just… processing things in her own way."
Alison let out a sharp exhale, a humorless laugh escaping her lips. "I pushed her, Em. I said things I shouldn't have."
Emily tilted her head slightly, urging her to continue without pressing her. Alison's gaze dropped to the floor, her voice quieter now.
"There's more," Alison admitted. "When I made Hanna feel terrible about herself when we were younger, that's because I also felt terrible about myself, but couldn't share that with anyone. I only taught her what I did to myself. I stopped when I was on the run, when I couldn't afford to throw up food when I didn't know when I would be eating next."
Hurting Hanna was one of the things that Alison felt most ashamed of, mostly because she dragged her friend down a dangerous route, but also because it reflected her own insecurities. She wished she hadn't been so cruel to Hanna, but still couldn't find the best words to express her remorse.
Emily's brows knitted together in surprise before a flicker of recognition crossed her face. She understood the weight of Alison's words and the raw truth behind them. The thought of both Alison and Hanna crumbling under the pressure of being perfect suffocated her.
"That's… heavy, Alison," Emily said, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Yeah," Alison said bitterly. "I haven't told Hanna or anyone about this."
Emily didn't speak right away. Instead, she reached out and took Alison's hand, her fingers threading gently with hers.
"You could've talked to me, you know?" Emily gently said.
Alison lifted her head to meet Emily's eyes, her own glistening with the tears she was trying to hold back.
"I felt like I needed to be strong and push through. And I didn't want to tarnish you with my darkness. I still don't," Alison rambled. "Maybe Hanna is right. Maybe I will end up hurting you anyway."
Emily gave Alison's hand a firm squeeze, her voice steady as she replied, "You're not that person anymore, Ali. You're trying — I see it. And that means something."
For a long moment, Alison said nothing, just staring at Emily with an intensity that felt like she was trying to memorize every detail of her face. Then, with a soft, shaky exhale, Alison allowed Emily to pull her into a hug.
Emily's arms wrapped around her tightly, holding her as if she could physically keep Alison from falling apart. Alison closed her eyes, letting herself feel the warmth and safety in Emily's embrace.
Then, Emily remembered Dr. Griffin's advice to give Alison positive feedback whenever the blonde did something she liked.
"Ali, I loved that you stayed that night. I loved how you built a fort for me, I loved how you made me tea, and I loved how you didn't run away," Emily said softly, her words deliberate and heartfelt. "I hope you can see how much progress you're making."
Alison smiled with tears in her eyes, her voice fragile but sincere. "That means a lot to me, Em."
It really did—because Alison wasn't doing all that stuff just to impress Emily. She did it because she wanted to genuinely help the brunette. It felt good to know her efforts were seen and appreciated.
"Also…" Emily smiled bashfully, her cheeks tinged pink as she pulled back slightly. "I wish that you had kissed me that night, but I'm glad that you didn't."
Alison chuckled, her lips curling into a small smile. "I do want to kiss you."
Emily's breath hitched at Alison's confession, and before she could second-guess herself, she closed the distance between them, pulling Alison gently into a kiss.
Alison kissed her back almost instantly, her hands finding their place on Emily's lower back as they leaned into each other. The kiss was slow, soft, and full of unspoken promises. For a brief, perfect moment, everything else fell away.
But as they broke apart, Alison's smile faltered, and her gaze shifted downward.
It wasn't that Alison didn't want to kiss Emily; much on the contrary, if she could, she would kiss her for ages. But those kisses make her whole body shake in anxiety. What if she was still going to hurt Emily? What if they weren't ready and Emily got hurt? What if she couldn't be the one that Emily needed after all?
"I think I need to go home now," she said, her voice barely above a whisper as her heartbeat exploded inside her chest.
"You can stay here if you want," Emily offered gently, still unaware of the turmoil going inside the blonde's head.
Alison hesitated, shaking her head lightly. "It might not be the best idea, Em."
Emily's brows furrowed slightly, concern clouding her expression. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, just… overwhelmed," Alison admitted, trying her best to be honest even though she wasn't entirely sure how she felt. She took deep breaths to steady herself and Emily finally took notice of how anxious Alison was at that moment.
"I'm sorry if I crossed a boundary," Emily said softly, her voice tight with worry.
Alison squeezed Emily's hand, her voice firm. "You didn't do anything wrong, Em. It's just something I need to figure out on my own."
Emily nodded slowly, her eyes still searching Alison's face. "Will you keep in touch?"
"Absolutely," Alison promised, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Emily's cheek before slipping out of the barn and into the cool night air.
How long will it take for Emison to get back on track? Also, I really wanted to address Hanna and Mona because their story somewhat mirrors Emison. One thing I didn't like about the show is how no one gives Hanna the third degree for trusting Mona multiple times after Mona tried to hurt her and her friends. Sure, there might have been something in S3 and in the last episode, but the Liars pretty much turn on Alison because they believe Mona. However, Hanna did work through her anger more than Emily, but that's because season 5 sucks after Ali gets arrested.
Anyways, let me know your thoughts in the reviews!