Chapter 881

Ambushed

The lack of communications with Ally, and the uneasiness of Savannah, all weighed heavily on John. They couldn't even pull Ally out now if they tried since her communications were cut. They needed to send someone else in too. It then would put them in danger if it was an ambush. If Ally was compromised, whoever went in after her might be as well.

It was even more troublesome to John because Ally must know by now her communications were cut and she hadn't returned back outside. It meant trouble of some kind. She may be pinned down or cornered. There was no way to know what happened. It was time to make a decision. He wasn't about to fold, so it was time to play the next set of cards.

"I don't like the direction the events have turned." John said. "We need to send Al and Steve to reinforce or extract Ally."

John Henry wouldn't need to send them. It appeared they were headed In Ally's direction on their own. They knew one of their own was in trouble so it was time for them to act. He knew it was what any of the Resistance members would do. It didn't matter if they were a human or a Terminator. They would all do the same thing.

"Either way, it's what will happen." John Henry said. "Steve and Al are moving across the front of the dock area now. They'll get her."

John Henry knew they would get to her, he wasn't actually sure if they would be able to get her. It would depend upon how much the situation devolved. He was worried his hack into the security system was detected, and it was he who inadvertently alerted the Skynet forces inside as to what was about to happen. Ally may have walked into Taser fire in an ambush because the Grays were aware they were probed. It didn't leave him with a good feeling at all. Maybe if he was in the Command Center at the Resistance base things would have been different. He would have more resources at his disposal. He would have been able to process more information at once.

He glanced over at John. He didn't want to say it was his fault, but it sort of seemed like it. He could have remained at the Resistance base. Bob or Jim could have gone in his place or any of the other Terminators. He wanted to get out as much as John did. He couldn't blame John because he wanted to do the same thing. He wanted to see some of the town as well. The prospect of visiting Las Vegas was very enticing, especially for someone who never visited there before.

John wasn't sure how effective Steve and Al were going to be. Whatever happened to Ally could happen to them. They could end up with three Terminators unaccounted for instead of just one.

"As soon as they go in, we'll lose contact with them." John said. "We won't know what happened to any of them. We need to know what part of the building they're in."

John Henry hoped they would be able to establish some type of link. It may need to even be a physical link.

"They know the risks." John Henry said. "Maybe one will remain outside to relay a signal. We don't know what's happening yet, one way or another."

John thought it would be determined by the severity of the situation inside of the building. If Ally was in a jam, they could be in one as well. They would both need to act. He didn't want anyone to hold back if their help was needed.

"Maybe both of them need to go in after Ally." John said. "Getting our team out comes first."

John Henry hadn't received any reports of shooting. It was doubtful the Skynet forces would use silenced or suppressed weapons if they were inside of a building on some type of guard duty.

"No gunfire has been reported." John Henry said.

John felt John Henry left out a keyword.

"Yet…." John said.

John Henry still believed since there wasn't any gunfire, not everything must be bad inside for Ally. She was a skilled operative. The HK Track hadn't picked her up yet. It certainly hadn't shot at her yet. It's something Steve and Al definitely would have heard. Maybe she went after it to disable it. It would tend to pose the biggest threat to the team, as well as Ally.

"I guess it's a good thing." John Henry said. "It would be a lot worse if there were reports of sustained minigun fire."

John figured there was some truth in it, but he wanted better answers. It was time to make sure Al and Steve knew what he wanted them to do. He didn't want to take any chances either. The thought of having one Terminator down was bad enough. To have three of them down would be even worse.

"Al and Steve, I want you to move in and reinforce Ally if you see her and it's safe to do so." John said. "We don't know if she's down. She has to know she can't communicate and she hasn't come back out with a further report. If you feel threatened, I want you to withdraw."

John watched the drone footage from up above the target area. He could see the box truck as it approached. He really began to question the whole 'Trojan Horse' theory. Maybe Skynet knew their moves all along and everything was set up for one big ambush. He wasn't really sure if he wanted a ringside seat to see the Resistance team annihilated. It was one visual he could do without.

He wanted to try to concentrate on the positive aspect of everything. There was a large force of their Terminators about to enter the Skynet building. They would do it from a couple of different places. There were nine Terminators and Savannah. It was definitely a force to be reckoned with. Unfortunately he knew there were HK Tracks at the building for sure. There more than likely would be HK drones as well. Those factors could negate a substantial force of Terminators. He wondered if somehow they could pull up an Ace to start things out with or create some type of distraction to protect those about to enter the building. Right now they didn't have any new ideas.

Al and Steve ran towards the door where Ally went in. They received and acknowledged John's message as they ran. Neither one of them planned to withdraw if things got hot. If Ally was in a jam they're going to get her out. There was no need to mention it to John. They only acknowledge his transmission. They didn't want to be given orders to the contrary.

They reached the entry door in a very short time. As long as the security cameras which covered the loading dock area were looped, no one should know they were there. The only way they could be spotted was if someone were to open one of the doors on the side of the building, or one of the loading bays. There would be some type of noise or sounds to give them a warning on the latter, rather than the former.

They both decided they were going to be the one to go in first. They were aware whoever went in first took the biggest risk. If it was an ambush, they would be instantly targeted.

"Let me take a look first." Al said.

Steve wanted to do it. He could hear the box truck. He glanced over to the east side. He looked around at the deserted dock area. In the distance he could see the box truck was on its way back. It was about to cross over the railroad siding.

"If you go in, we'll both go in." Steve said. "We'll have a better chance of getting Ally out, or to engage the enemy. We can split the enemy's gunfire while we deliver our own. The targets are inside the building, not out here."

They were both about to enter when they received the critical update. They were glad they hadn't gone into the building yet. It was crucial information. It was something which should give them some additional protection. It was something based on the information they gathered so far.

"I just received information about our transponders." Al said. "Let's make the changes."

Steve understood the importance of the transponder update. It would definitely help them. They needed to make sure Ally received the update if she was still functional. They did need to worry if there may have been a last minute change with the equipment inside of the building if they suspected the truck was compromised. It would have included the HK equipment inside of it.

"I've made the addition as well." Steve said. "We need to get this information to Ally."

Al moved up to the door and opened it up a crack. He wasn't sure if he would be greeted with a face full of bullets or not. It didn't matter. He still needed to check on Ally. It's why they were there. He was rewarded almost instantly with a view of Ally. She didn't appear to be damaged at all. It was a good start. He hoped they kept it the same way.

"I see Ally. She is motioning for me to join her." Al said as he looked around before they entered. "Ally was right. We're going to need a bigger truck, several of them."

Al could see there was a lot of HK equipment inside of the building.

Steve looked at it as well when he entered. It didn't appear the majority of it was active. It wasn't their main concern right now. It was to get to Ally and find out what she knew. One of them would need to go back outside with the information. The time for thinking was over. It was time for action.

"Let's go." Steve said.

Earlier:

Ally opened the door carefully. She observed the interior of the building. She spotted a row of HK Tracks in the distance. They were near the sliding doors for the railroad siding.

She remembered a movie she watched one time about a boat and a big shark. She couldn't help but try to make a joke out of it, even if it was a serious matter.

"John, you're going to need a bigger truck…." Ally said.

There was a wall which blocked most of the workroom floor from her view. She moved inside of the building. She left the door exactly how she found it. It was closed, but not closed tight. She needed to move carefully. She tried not to be spotted. She could hear HK Tracks moving around.

In just seconds after she entered the building, she became aware she lost communications with the rest of the group once she was inside. She thought about going back out, but she hadn't been able to get more intel yet. She wanted to look around a little bit first. She was aware a partial report could be more dangerous than no report at all. People might get the wrong idea and expect one thing when they were actually going to face something different. Just out of her view around the wall she heard what she believed at first was an HK Tread. She was a little discouraged at the thought. She listened a little closer. She was glad she did. It was actually multiple HK Tracks. It sounded like there were about four HK Tracks moving all at the same time.

If there were a group of HK Tracks following each other, it didn't sound like they were patrolling. It would indicate they were headed to a specific location. She was concerned it might be her location, but it didn't sound like it. She was still a little concerned she hadn't seen or heard any Grays yet. She knew there was a Terminator associated with the group. The Terminator may or may not be in Reno, depending upon the accuracy of the report from the Gray who interacted with Dan who played the role of 'Smitty'.

Ally needed a better look at exactly where they were and what they were doing. She heard two Grays speak about the phone conversation with the truck. It was bad news. She was about to move around the wall and see what was happening at the dock area.

She heard the door open behind her. She was exposed from the rear now. She turned at what may be a new threat with her M4 pointed at the door. She was relieved to see it was Al who looked inside. If it would have been Grays, or a hostile Terminator, she would have been in trouble. She checked around and motioned for him to come and join her.

Al entered. Steve followed him in. They quickly moved to her position. Steve watched their six. His main concern was to make sure they didn't get trapped inside of the building if someone else entered. It would really put them between a rock and a hard place. The last report from the drone before they entered was there was no one else outside of the building or around it on foot. There was never any roving patrol so it was one less thing to worry about.

They informed Ally of the transponder code addition. They watched to make sure she made it. If everything inside of the building squawked the same code, it would help insure their survival a little bit better than if they didn't have the code. In a building full of HK equipment, it was surely a death sentence to not have the proper code.

"The truck is almost here." Steve said. "We need to see what's happening behind the dock loading doors."

Ally attempted to get into a position where she could view what was happening in the loading dock location. She needed to be cautious because she knew there were Grays and HK Tracks moving around.

"I haven't seen any Grays yet, but I've heard at least two talking at times. I've heard at least four active HK Tracks moving around at the same time." Ally said. "The Grays said, 'Smitty and Tito' failed the 'check in' authentication. The Grays said they were about to set up a 'surprise', if it wasn't them. They didn't know if they were high on drugs or not. They thought they may have taken them when they drove away with the truck. The speculation there was an air leak in one of the tires didn't seem so unbelievable. They said they weren't going to take any chances."

Steve knew it wouldn't be a pleasant surprise for anyone, especially Cameron.

"Cameron hates surprises." Steve said.

Ally was sure once they identified what was in the process of being set up, they could give Cameron a better heads up.

"I can guarantee she won't like this surprise, nobody would." Ally said.

Al wanted to see exactly what the surprise was. They might be able to do something about it. We also needed to get the warning out there, there was going to be an ambush.

"We better find out what it is and warn Cameron's team." Al said.

The three Terminators all tilted their heads slightly. They detected a sound none of them should be able to detect where they were at. They were all sure John Henry would have been much more careful.

"Listen." Ally said.

It was a sound Ally, Al, and Steve heard a short time ago during the 'biker encounter' in the desert. The whole episode was one to ponder.

"I hear them." Steve said. "It sounds like very low altitude HK drones outside."

Al wasn't sure who they belonged to.

"Why would they be so low?" Al asked. "Would our drones be this low?"

Steve and Ally didn't think they would be either.

None of it made any sense to Ally either. It seemed to her the Grays were behind whatever it was.

"I don't think so." Ally said. "If there are any Terminators in here, they would hear them now as well. No one has raised any alarm yet. Maybe the Grays have sent for them since they think their truck has been taken down."

Steve could hear a vehicle outside down shift. It down shifted one gear, and then a second gear. It was clear Cameron's team just arrived. There was no time to issue a warning.

"I hear the truck." Steve said. "They're already here."

Ally felt they needed to trigger the ambush first.

"It is too late to warn them." Ally said. "We're going to need to attack."

There were two short blasts of the air horn from the truck outside.

Ally felt the time for thinking was over. They needed to act now. They needed to protect Cameron's team from the ambush. She wasn't going to wait around and see what happened.

"We need to move." Ally said. "Follow me. Steve, watch our six."

The three Terminators heard the roll-up door of the building open and then the rear door of the truck open. They headed around the wall and saw what was about to happen. It looked like it was going to be a bloodbath.

The sound of the drones grew louder. They must be right on top of the structure or right outside the loading bays. There were no missiles or gunfire. It didn't make sense for them to be either Resistance drones or HK drones at this point.

Maybe it was the work of the Fanatics…. They might try to clean out both groups at the same time. It was possible they learned of the attack at the old 'day care center' and wanted some type of retribution for their fallen comrades. Since the Fanatics already tracked the Grays at the rail yard, it was likely they knew of the other locations where they set up operations at.

Whatever it was, it was highly unusual. It was something none of them ever encountered previously.

Seconds ago:

The box truck entered the compound. Cameron and her team received extra transponder coding information from CamNet. It was an urgent message.

Savannah was a little confused by the sudden change in plans.

"Are we going to squawk two codes?" Savannah asked.

Cameron thought it was unusual but it was very inventive.

"Those are our instructions from CamNet." Cameron said. "It needs to be done immediately."

Cameron knew the information was straight from the Young Bunker. Young Allison and Anna tried to help them. She could see the change with the codes would give them a big advantage. They were able to possess something they normally wouldn't have on the battlefield. Provided nothing changed inside, they should have just 'one upped' the enemy. Then again, they may not have.

Frank blew the air horn in two short bursts as he backed up to the same spot the box truck was at earlier.

Everyone in the back of the truck was ready. Cammy and Cameron would follow the first HK Track out of the back of the truck and take the right side. Gail and Sheila would follow the second HK Track out and take the left side. They planned to use the bulk of the HK Track's chassis for as much protection as they could get against enemy gunfire.

If either side ran into greater opposition, Cammy or Gail would switch over to reinforce the other side. Savannah would take their place and go with the HK Track they were assigned to.

Dan and Frank would assist either team as needed. They would be a few seconds behind them. They were both still in the cab and ready to rush inside.

They all felt the truck bump up against the rubber stops on the dock. They heard the door to the building roll up.

The Terminators also heard something else troubling.

It was the sound of HK drones closing in on their position.

Cameron released the truck's rear door and it rolled up. They were free to move out and advance into the building.

The first HK Track rumbled out. Cameron and Cammy were right behind it.

It turned out Savannah was correct.

There were four armed HK Tracks waiting for them. It was an ambush. They were trapped with nowhere to go.

"…drones are approaching your location." John Henry said.

They lost the first part of the transmission from John Henry. There was nothing further.

Cameron and Cammy saw the barrels on the miniguns on the four HK Tracks target them. They were ready to spit death and destruction on their group. They would be slaughtered like sheep in a pen.

The HK drones screamed in close now as well. They could clearly be heard getting louder. It almost seemed too loud. What were they doing?

It appeared even if any of them were to make it outside now at this point, they would be slaughtered out there instead of shredded inside.

"Ambush…!" Cameron yelled.

It was clear they would be terminated where they stood. Cameron wished she would have listened to Savannah earlier.

Claire and Sarah headed toward Derek and Riley's room.

Riley carried Precious. Vanna, Allison, and Jesse were in the hall outside.

They all greeted each other.

Vanna pointed away from where the work was currently in progress.

"We need to find a quieter place." Vanna said. "The noise is bothering Precious and all of us. I guess it seems louder than what we expected because it's in a confined space."

Sarah didn't want to walk away before she could inspect what was being done. She still wanted to get her 'two cents' worth in. She might be able to actually give some constructive advice if she thought it was necessary. She wasn't there to cause a problem, even if she did.

"I want to check out the work." Sarah said.

Claire spotted Vanna and Jesse. She looked both of them over and felt a rush of excitement. She really didn't want to go with Sarah and create an issue with the workers.

"I'll go with the group with Precious for now." Claire said.

Sarah looked at Claire and winked. She knew what Claire was after. She often regretted never taking advantage of the bounty of booty when she could have. There were often times when she still thought about it. Vanna and Jesse were always around. Allison wasn't around very often and Claire was around even less. She really wouldn't mind sharing with any of those four fine beautiful young women. The desire within her was very strong and seemed to get stronger all the time. She really didn't think it would hurt anything to share every now and then with one of the females. It wasn't like she could end up pregnant from them or something. She continued toward the construction site.

Claire tried to hide her 'hungry' looks from Vanna and Jesse. She didn't think she did a very good job. She really wanted to be with either of them.

Allison gave her mother a few sideways looks. She thought she looked like a kid in a candy store. She could tell her mother wanted to be with either Vanna or Jesse. So far nothing was verbalized, but it was clear by the look on her face what the intent and desire was. She actually felt the same thing herself. The noise level seemed to intensify.

"What a racket." Allison said.

Jesse watched them earlier as they worked. They all worked very rapidly and all seemed to know what to do without very much communication necessary between them.

"The way they were working, they'll be done in an hour." Jesse said. "It's really amazing to watch them work."

Claire looked back in the direction of all the noise. She really didn't care how efficient they were. She thought it was awfully noisy. She did remember how quickly they were able to rebuild her home with the bunkers underneath it and the room additions which were added on. When they told her everything they were going to do, she thought it would take months. Everything was completed within a week's time. She still couldn't get over it. She could now hear the whine of a saw.

"Where's the quietest place?" Claire asked.

Claire actually thought the quietest place would be with a nice warm leg pressed tightly against each of her ears as she worked diligently between them.

Vanna looked back as well when the saw started in. The high pitch whine was very irritating.

"The lab or the infirmary will be much quieter." Vanna said. "Precious is going to start crying soon."

Riley thought about her earlier visit to the infirmary along with her check up. She was very displeased with the outcome of her examination. It seemed there was nothing wrong physically with her that wasn't already wrong. It was a little disturbing to learn it was more of a mental issue. She could have done without the information. She thought it reflected negatively against her character. She was told it was a typical syndrome some females experienced, even if it was uncommon. It was still something which occurred.

"I don't want to go back to the infirmary." Riley said.

Vanna couldn't blame Riley for not wanting to go back there.

"The lab it is." Vanna said.

Allison noticed her mother's anticipation. She was afraid she was going to start drooling any minute the way she looked at Vanna and Jesse.

"I'll stay with Riley if you three want to go elsewhere." Allison said. "We don't all need to be cooped up in one location when there's not much to do in the lab."

Allison just indicated her mother could go with Vanna and Jesse to 'share'.

Riley could see the girls wanted to be together. She didn't think it would be a problem. Vanna and Jesse already helped her out earlier. She felt she would be good to nurse if Precious needed her. She could at least produce a little for a short time, even if it wasn't a lot for a long time.

"I should be good for the next feeding." Riley said.

Claire, Jesse, and Vanna all looked at each other. It was clear all three of them were filled with anticipation. There wasn't any doubt they all wanted the same thing.

"I'll make sure to save some on one of them." Claire said.

Claire wanted to make sure it wouldn't be a problem with Allison. She was about to be with her long term lover.

"You don't mind?" Claire asked Allison.

Allison really didn't think it was a big deal anymore. Her mother was a person just like she was. If she wanted to share, she should be able to do so. If it's what everyone wanted there wasn't any reason not to do it. She wasn't her mother's keeper and her mother wasn't her keeper. There was plenty of love to go around.

"You've all shared before." Allison said. "We all share. I don't think it will hurt anything if everyone gets 'caught up'."

Claire was pleased Allison understood she was a female too. She was right between their age groups and shared the same desires and wants as they all did. It bothered her before when Allison seemed irritated with their sexual habits. She knew it was just more than to be with her lover Vanna. All of the girl's relationships were open so they could share freely with each other. They all knew where they belonged at the end of the day. It didn't really matter how they got there.

She really liked the way Jesse looked at her. It seemed the more she was with Jesse, the more she wanted to be with her. Jesse was like a drug and she was addicted to her. She could never get enough of her. The icing on the cake was Vanna. She did want Allison to watch over the girls.

"Check on Summer and Jan, they're watching a movie." Claire said as Jesse led her away.

Vanna followed close behind. She looked back at Allison and Allison nodded her head and smiled.

Allison really didn't think it was a problem. There is only one thing. She didn't want to hear the details of what anyone actually did with her mother. It was information unnecessary to know. She already knew if the girls had a choice to be with her or her mother, they would all rather be with her mother over her. It seemed her mother was much better in bed than she was. There really wasn't a whole lot she could do about it. It was what it was. She wasn't used to being the runner up.

The three girls giggled and hurried it off. It was clear what was going to happen.

"Have fun, but don't tell me about it later on." Allison said.

Riley looked confused. Allison seemed to encourage her mother to share with Jesse and Vanna.

Allison saw Riley wanted to ask but was uncomfortable to do so. She understood how it could seem like a touchy situation. She decided to offer an explanation.

"My mom is only a couple of years older than me. She's younger than Jesse and Vanna." Allison said. "They've shared in the past. You know our relationships are open. Everyone likes a little variety and to have their 'bell rung' a few times."

Riley desperately wanted to share with a female again. She always thought how beautiful all of them were compared to her. She knew they wanted to be with her, but there were circumstances which prevented them from doing it or becoming too close to her. She didn't like the way things were, but she did understand them. She wondered if Claire might be a little more willing to accommodate her since she was a little removed from what went on normally around the Resistance base.

"I do." Riley said as she thought back in time. "I can see your mother is highly desirable. I think she's beautiful and very attractive."

Allison looked at Riley for a moment but didn't comment. She understood the message. She wasn't sure if she should pass it along or not.

Riley was aware her 'bell' hadn't been 'rung' in a long time. She didn't even do it herself. She tried a few times but just gave up after a few minutes. It was like there was nothing there. She really lost all desire during her pregnancy and Derek was the one who paid the price.

She felt very guilty about it. More than once she thought about asking Jesse to share with him because she didn't have the desire to do so herself. She didn't want him to 'suffer' because of her. She wondered if maybe one of the Metal girls would want to try it as well. She didn't think she would open a can of worms if she did either of those things, but she knew it was a possibility. The way she felt, she really didn't care at the time.

There was no variety available to her. It was just Derek. She hadn't been able to do much with her troubled pregnancy, and a sore mouth from a bad tooth. She didn't like the way she looked when she was pregnant. She didn't think she made a very good recovery after Precious was born either. She thought she looked terrible. The fact she was overwhelmed with taking care of Precious didn't help anything either. She didn't even feel like fixing herself up in the mornings, or at any time during the day. She often wished she could be anywhere else other than where she was, and what she was doing.

They continued along to the lab.

Allison wasn't sure what she could do to cheer Riley up. She did want to offer her some more options.

"If you get bored, we can always go watch the movie with Jan and Summer." Allison said.

Riley suddenly felt other desires. Right now she wanted to be with Derek. She became very excited and stimulated to know what Claire, Vanna, and Jesse were about to do. She wanted Derek to do it to her as well. She didn't even care if he would knock one off after he sent her to heaven one time.

She wondered if he would enjoy it more if she made sure the room was dark and he didn't have to look at her. Under those conditions in the dark room, she could be whoever he wanted her to be once he got started. She knew it wouldn't be the first time. It certainly wouldn't be the last. She knew it was something everyone did from time to time, or at least did at some point. If they hadn't done so yet, they would end up doing so at some point. It was just the way things worked for everyone.

She knew she was going to do the same thing once she asked Derek to 'warm her up'. She would imagine it was Claire who 'worked on' her, rather than Derek who it would actually be. She was very stimulated at the thought.

Young Allison watched everything unfold where the combat team was at. The box truck just started to back up to the dock. She set a number of things into play. One of them involved their drones. Since they are able to obtain the plans for the building, it gave her a big advantage if they lost contact with the drones. It was something they were sure would happen since there was no communication with Ally inside the building.

"I want to make sure everything is preprogrammed in case the drones are affected by the local jamming field, or if the larger area jamming field occurs." Young Allison said.

Anna was still impressed with the mission Young Allison laid out for the drones. It was very inventive and far thinking. She believed it would work and work flawlessly.

"I've relayed everything to CamNet." Anna said. "This is an excellent plan. All the information and the building schematics have been transmitted."

Young Allison was aware they still didn't know what was inside of the building.

"Now the question is, what are they going to face?" Young Allison asked.

Anna worried about that as well.

"The unknown…." Anna said.

Young Allison was dissatisfied with her answer. She wanted to make a preemptive strike on her own. She wasn't sure how it was going to go over but she was going to do it anyway.

"It's not good enough." Young Allison said. "I want the drones to start their run. They can always abort."

Anna wanted to give her one last chance to rethink her decision. She didn't think she would. She hoped she wouldn't.

"Don't you want to wait and see what the team will face first?" Anna asked.

Young Allison didn't want to be hindered by indecision. The time for thinking was over, it was time to act. She wanted to make a 'statement'.

"What if we can't wait?" Young Allison asked. "It will delay our response - CamNet's response. We're going to hit and hit hard. I want everything to go as I've planned."

From the drone footage overhead they could see the door roll up for the interior of the building, they couldn't really see inside. The truck blocked most of the opening.

Young Allison switched to the darkness of the body cams in the back of the truck, she saw the rear door of the box truck go up. The team's body cams showed what Savannah feared.

There were four HK Tracks waiting for them.

Young Allison heard Cameron's warning.

"Ambush…." Cameron yelled.

"Go, CamNet - NOW." Young Allison said. "Show them what you've got. Hit hard and don't stop hitting until we win."

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Painful Reflections

Seeing and hearing
Yet so deaf and blind
Expressing my shortcomings
Painful reflections of my mind

The devastation of rejection
The endless agony of defeat
Are my own painful reflections
Not yours, you're so sweet

Painful reflections wherever I look
Have blinded my shaky sight
As my perpetual failure radiates
It causes anger, fear and fright

The scathing mirror of life
Ruminates painful reflections
Sending hurtful wounding signals
Which have no coherent corrections

My warped twisted mind exploding
In many conflicting damaging directions
Will forever be 'not good enough'
Torment always with painful reflections

Nobody