Chapter 947

She Will Feel It

Claire left Jesse behind and headed for where Allison was at. She found her in the room next to Riley's quarters. They quickly exchanged pleasantries.

She was very concerned about Allison. She put her hand on Allison's forehead.

Allison felt less than dignified by the act.

"Oh, brother…." Allison said.

Claire didn't think it was a big deal. It was what any mother would do for their child if they thought they weren't feeling well. They would want to see if they were running a temperature. It was the usual indication something was really wrong.

"I can't help it." Claire said. "You're my daughter, even if we're almost the same age."

Allison didn't want to make a big production out of it.

"You look more like my sister or girlfriend than you do my mother." Allison protested. "I'm fine."

Claire was a little surprised when Allison said she looked more like her sister or girlfriend. She found the last idea somewhat intriguing. She thought all of her daughters were more beautiful than she was. Right now it was her motherly instincts which kicked in. She wanted to do what she thought needed to be done.

"Mother knows best." Claire said.

Allison wished she wouldn't have said anything at this point. She felt a little bit off and maybe panicked a little.

"What's next?" Allison asked. "Will it be one of the Metal girls to scan me?"

There was a knock at the door.

Jesse and John Henry entered.

Allison shook her head slightly from side to side. Things were getting worse by the second.

"I'm sorry I asked." Allison said.

Jesse was mindful she was with Claire just a few minutes ago. She gently touched Allison on the cheek and smiled at her as she spoke.

"We're worried about you, love." Jesse said. "I'm worried about you. You know we all need to look after each other."

John Henry was thrilled at the prospect of being able to 'examine' Allison. He wanted to make things as convenient for her as possible.

"Hello, Allison. I'm sorry to be a bother." John Henry said. "I can carry you to the infirmary."

Allison felt a little embarrassed by the whole situation. She was somewhat intrigued with the idea of being carried around the base. She was less enthusiastic about going to the infirmary.

"I'm fine." Allison said.

Claire could see Allison was hesitant to be examined.

"Please, honey." Claire said. "I want you to do it for me."

Allison looked at the trio and frowned. She was concerned about her long term lover.

"Let me check on Vanna first." Allison said.

Allison moved to the door and opened it a crack.

Jesse and Claire crowded below her. All three of them looked in the small gap of the door at Vanna.

Derek and Riley were out. It was just Vanna and Precious.

They could all see how happy and content Vanna was to hold and take care of Precious.

Allison backed up and so did the others. She closed the door softly. She felt she intruded enough on Vanna. It wasn't her intent. She began to wonder if she was a negative influence on Vanna's desires. Maybe she was a negative influence on her. It was never her intent if it was the case.

"Vanna wants to be a mother so very much." Allison said. "I see it more and more. Maybe I've been holding her back all these years. Now THAT thought is going to bother me. It's not like I didn't have enough emotional baggage anyway."

Jesse glanced down at Allison's belly. She resisted the urge to touch it. She knew Allison was still pregnant. She hoped this one 'stuck' for her and Vanna.

"You two will have a baby to raise together soon." Jesse said.

It was a deep fear Allison felt. She was afraid she wouldn't be a good mother and neglect the baby. She was there for Summer's arrival and she saw the amount of work and dedication which was needed. She did her share to help out, but it was never a pleasant experience for her. She always felt inadequate in her care of Summer when she was an infant. She was always grateful when Vanna or Jesse were there to help her when her mother was out.

"I really hope so, for Vanna's sake." Allison said. "I don't think I'll make a good mother. I'll be more than happy to share the responsibility with Vanna."

Allison figured she could be more of an assistant rather than a parent. It was obvious she would rely on Holly to help her too. Holly didn't need to sleep and could assist her at night. She always remembered how hard it was to get up at night. She always felt so tired to do so. It was usually pretty hard to get up in the mornings too. All she needed to do was take a look in the mirror when she first woke up and realized why she should be back in bed. It seemed like everyday was a bad hair day. Hair, it was the hardest thing to get right.

Claire didn't think parenting would be a problem for Allison. She reflected back on her life when Allison was born. She felt very overwhelmed at first as well. Everything quickly seemed to sort itself out and she was able to assume all of her motherly duties without any problem. She believed Allison would be able to do the same. She felt Allison was lucky because she wouldn't have to perform any 'wifely duties' as she needed to do for Paul.

"You'll do fine, dear." Claire said. "Don't you think I felt the same way as you?"

Claire thought back on the time period. She was surprised to discover she was pregnant. She was very careful about practicing birth control. She was with a number of females, and a few males previously. Most of those encounters with males happened when she was unaware and didn't remember much at some of the parties she went to in school. She usually ended up drugged or drunk. She was always 'used' by the males there when she couldn't resist. She stopped going to parties. She would go out with her female friends only.

Her parents pressured her to 'get married' and have a traditional relationship after she graduated. They didn't approve of her lifestyle and preference of sexual partners. She only ever felt comfortable with a female partner. She wondered why her parents couldn't understand.

She decided to give marriage a try. It was a mistake, a big one. Paul was a good man and a hard worker. He was never able to satisfy her in bed. She would always need to 'finish' herself off later on. It would either be when he was asleep, or in the bathroom. It always worried her because she never was able to 'finish' through traditional sex. She read in Cosmo it wasn't uncommon. It was about forty percent of the females who never finished through traditional sex. It seemed to her the design of the female body parts could have been arranged a little differently to ensure the female would be more satisfied.

She didn't know how it worked for animals. It seemed to her most of what they did was instinct when it came to reproduction. For humans it seemed more about lust and greed. She knew some mistook those acts for 'love'.

She was very dissatisfied with 'married life'. She thought about getting a divorce. She soon found out she was pregnant with Allison. She went to see a 'specialist' on a referral her doctor's office called her about. She found out she was pregnant about a month after it on a scheduled follow up visit. Everything was a repeat process for when she found out she was pregnant with Summer. She didn't think she was with Paul at the right time, either time, she got pregnant. She wondered if she was like a kangaroo.

With everything she knew now, it made her wonder. Were Allison and Summer really her daughters? What happened at the 'specialist's office'? They said it was only an exam to make sure she didn't have any irregularities. Maybe it's where she was impregnated. She really didn't know anymore. She thought about asking Cameron if her children were really her own. Maybe it was something she really didn't want to know. Maybe her mind was on some type of wild 'goose chase' within the confines of her head.

Allison's words brought Claire back to 'now'.

"You've told me you felt overwhelmed before. Maybe I was just a problem child." Allison said. "Seeing Vanna look like she does, and so happy, makes me think of something else. It's not a good feeling either."

Claire knew exactly who Allison referred to.

"Savannah…." Claire said.

Allison tried to speak with Savannah about it before. It was a touchy subject.

"Yes." Allison said. "Savannah MUST feel the same way about children as Vanna does. It's instinctual behavior she's expressing. Savannah has to have those same feelings. I can't imagine what they must have done to her inside when she needed to leave her babies behind."

Jesse could only imagine what things Savannah must feel. She put herself in Savannah's place and thought it was a good subject to avoid.

"I don't think we should bring it up." Jesse said. "She never talks about it."

There were times when Allison did try to press the issue. She always got the same response.

"It's because it has to be killing her inside." Allison said.

Claire was worried about the issue herself and in regards to Savannah.

"It was her choice to give them to 'herself'." Claire said. "I did speak to her about it. I was there for one of them. Those other versions of herself would feel the same way as Vanna does right now. I think it was one of the reasons why Savannah was able to do it. She wanted the other versions of herself to have the same feeling of joy and happiness. Maybe it was a type of fulfillment. She knew her body could do what theirs couldn't. She helped herself. She was the only one who could do it."

Claire knew there wasn't much choice with the first baby Savannah needed to give up to Duplicate Vanna. Savannah originally intended the baby to be for Cameron and John. Being marooned 'in some future' changed all of it. The second one was done by design specifically for Future Savannah. Savannah told her it still bothered her, but not as much, because her mind set from the beginning was specifically to do it to help another future version of herself. Savannah told her she would want another version of her to do the same thing if she was in the same predicament and couldn't reproduce.

John Henry wasn't comfortable with them talking about Savannah. He too knew of the grief Savannah experienced. He wanted them to consider a subject change because he was certainly ready for one.

"Perhaps we can carry on this conversation about my 'sister' in the infirmary." John Henry said. "Or not at all…."

Allison found the subject very depressing herself. It was probably something they should have avoided in the first place. She needs somehow it was her fault the subject even came up. She wondered if John Henry was the only one who was uncomfortable with the discussion. She didn't think so. Maybe it was a way to deflect her own problems.

"I'm sorry." Allison said. "Let's go."

John Henry was pleased the events would take a different direction. He still wanted to get as much 'personal contact' with Allison as he could. He hoped to be able to see how her readings changed once he picked her up.

"May I carry you?" John Henry asked.

Allison actually liked the idea. She hoped it would make her feel a little more special.

"Sure, why not." Allison said. "Every girl wants to be swept off her feet."

Claire opened the door into the hall.

Jesse walked out and John Henry scooped Allison up. He walked into the hall with her. He followed Jesse.

Allison was pleasantly surprised. She felt a slight rush of exhilaration. It made her feel special even if the circumstances weren't very good.

Claire closed the door and followed behind everyone. She still wondered about those doctor's visits to the specialist a month or so before she found out she was pregnant, it made her wonder. She wasn't even sure why she needed to see a specialist in the first place. Why would she need to go back a month or so later? If she was impregnated, was it to verify it actually took hold and worked? The fact she already delivered one of Allison's babies, and was pregnant with a second one, was proof she was capable of doing it. Was she a grandmother because of what she did for Allison? Was she even actually a mother? She hoped to find out soon enough with John. She would make sure she didn't see any doctors before she determined she was pregnant.

Now she was a little worried about what Young Allison and Summer were up to. No. She needed to be with Allison right now. She was her daughter too, even if it seemed impossible at times. What kind of a world was she living in?

CamNet monitored 'everywhere' and 'everything'.

She especially followed what all of the Resistance personnel were involved in. Her main concern was with the human females and the female Terminators. Everything else was incidental unless there was an operation underway. Everyone else, including the human males, didn't seem to have any difficulties with the things they did. She did note Derek was very concerned about Riley's well being, especially after Precious was born.

CamNet became alarmed to see John Henry carry Allison into the infirmary. She began replaying all her scans, and all the previous scans by all the other female Terminators. She felt driven to go to Allison. She stood up and started to walk to the bunker door when her neck snapped back, her tether cable stopped her. She reached back and felt it. She was unsure why she didn't remember she was tethered. She thought it is how a dog on a leash must feel. It wasn't a pleasant thought.

She sat back down and readied every medical database there was available. Now she debated whether to ask for John Henry's permission to use his chassis or simply take control of it for the duration of the exam. She would need to wait until he plugged in before she could do it. She would like to be the one who 'examined' Allison. She 'examined' herself many times. She looked forward to examining Allison for a full comparison.

The question crossed her mind, 'What would Savannah do?'

The answer was so simple, 'The RIGHT thing.'

It was a moral and ethical issue. CamNet wanted to make herself better, not more like Skynet. She would need to ask permission first, and only to share with John Henry and try not to abuse or take anything from him. Savannah asked her before she left to always think about what 'she would do' when faced with anything but a 'hard choice'. The current situation wasn't a 'hard choice' situation, not yet anyway. She hoped it didn't develop into one.

Savannah always did make the right choice. Cameron told her she would. CamNet understood better now. It was clear why Savannah was the 'Chosen One'. Depending upon what the situation was, the right choice might be more important than winning. In reality the right choice may actually be the winning choice.

CamNet reviewed Allison's past medical records and noted every pregnancy previously terminated. Those were just the ones they knew about since she was at the Resistance base, and Cameron started the procedure to do everything artificially. Allison was the only one of the three girls from the alternate future who still tried to have a baby herself. Jesse and Vanna both gave up after repeated failures. The pain of the repeated losses was more than they could continually deal with. She personally experienced a little trouble understanding the concept. She wasn't sure why it would matter since no children were actually born and then terminated. She understood when the pregnancy terminated, it wasn't anything capable of sustaining life on its own at that point in time. She knew millions of pregnancies were terminated by choice during the same time around the world every week. Her research indicated none of those individuals were bothered by the choice they made to terminate the pregnancy on their own.

It was only Cameron's urging which kept Allison in the game. The losses hurt her as much as they did Vanna and Jesse.

She didn't think Cameron set out to torture the girls both emotionally and mentally through a physical process. The result was the same even if it wasn't the objective.

John was more than a little worried about what was going on with Allison. He did know the Metal girls were away from the base. It was highly unusual for someone to come and get John Henry to look over someone else. He remembered the last time it happened. It was for Riley during her pregnancy.

He was alone in the Command Center at this point.

John saw Bob in the distance and called him in.

Bob headed for the Command Center.

"I'm glad you're back." John said.

Bob wondered what John seemed so disturbed about. He looked around at the various screens in the Command Center and didn't see any impending operation.

"I needed to run a few errands." Bob said. "I was out with Vanna and Allison awhile ago."

John wondered what Bob's impression was of Allison if he'd recently been with her.

"Was Allison OK?" John asked.

Bob looked at the monitors again. He was a little concerned by the nature of John's question. Maybe it was a good thing she didn't drive. It was close enough as it was. Vanna was able to talk her down. She said she would ride in a different vehicle. Maybe it upset Allison more than he knew. No. Allison and Vanna were 'all over' each other in the backseat of the SUV on the way back to the Resistance base. He didn't see any problems then.

"As far as I know she was fine." Bob said. "I see John Henry is carrying her, now. Did something happen?"

John still tried to figure out what exactly Jesse was up to with her little performance when she came to get John Henry. He certainly enjoyed it. He wasn't sure if he actually liked her smaller breasts with the nipple rings, or her larger nursing breasts without them. He wondered what it would be like to compare Jesse and Sheila side by side right now. He pondered the image in his mind and decided he would probably like her smaller breasts with nipple rings as opposed to the larger nursing breasts. He felt large breasts were a dime a dozen on the internet.

It was a breast of any size with nipple rings which caught his attention. He didn't care for the barbells because they weren't distinctive enough. The rings sent a real message and advertised the fact they were there. Some of them were much larger in diameter, other ones were of a thicker gauge. Either way, he decided he would rather go with the nipple rings. He was pretty sure if he wanted to verify what he thought, Sheila and Jesse would be more than willing to stand side by side topless for him. He needed to refocus his attention. The issue currently was Allison.

"Jesse came and asked for him." John said. "She wasn't very specific about why other than she thought Allison should be scanned because the Metal girls were away."

Bob wondered if he should plug in and see exactly what was going on. He would be able to get much more information quickly if he were to do so.

"Where are any of the Metal girls?" Bob asked. "I thought they would be back by now, at least some of them."

John looked at the current tracking of the girls on the satellite overlay map.

"They're still on the way back. Do you want to 'plug in' for a while?" John asked. "You can help me out."

Bob was very pleased John made the suggestion for him to plug in. It would give him a little better cover than if he would have done it on his own, or asked John if he wanted him to. He would better be able to see what was happening in the infirmary or elsewhere around the base once he was plugged in. He hoped there wouldn't be any problems. If there was anything interesting or exciting, he wouldn't mind taking a look at it.

"Affirmative…." Bob said.

As soon as Bob was connected, CamNet contacted him.

'I've been waiting for you.' CamNet said to him. 'Just listen. You're not to discuss where the girls were at, or the fact they saw me.'

Bob figured something like this was going to happen. He knew he didn't want to get on the wrong side of CamNet. it would spell trouble going forward. He was more than willing to comply with her request. He preferred to view it more as a request than a demand.

"Affirmative…." Bob said.

John looked over at Bob when he spoke.

"You already said that." John said.

CamNet wanted to show her appreciation to Bob. She also needed to think about what Savannah would want her to do if the conditions changed.

'Thank you.' CamNet said. 'Thank you for what you did earlier as well. If it becomes an issue where you're asked something directly, then I don't want you to lie. Try to remain non-specific if possible.'

Bob looked at the security monitor and then looked at John. He wanted to cover his tracks.

"Affirmative…." Bob said. "I thought you liked to hear me say it."

John always reflected back to the 'Uncle Bob' model of Terminator which was identical to Bob's appearance. It was a little earlier in his life before things really got crazy. It wasn't a very good time in his life either. He was nothing but a juvenile delinquent. It still bothered him to know he got Todd and Janelle killed.

"I do like to hear you say it." John said. "It always makes me think of some old times…. I can't say they were all good, but they did have good moments."

John debated whether he wanted to pass the time looking at 'close ups' on the internet or watch some of his favorite movie scenes. Somehow when he thought about it a little more, neither one seemed like a good idea since Summer was at the base currently.

Bob monitored all the operations. He was aware of what John was up to. It was nothing new for him. He noticed some new developments in the carpool area.

"Some of the Metal girls have just arrived. They're in the carpool area." Bob said "Cameron is in Palmdale with Savannah, Young Allison and Anna."

John thought it sounded a little safer than where she was earlier. He wondered if he would know the full extent of everything which transpired in the Nevada desert or not. He doubted it. He didn't want to start asking and have Cameron start lying to him.

"I'm glad Young Allison's back home." John said. "I would ask if you knew anything about it, but I think you don't want to compromise yourself."

John was sure Bob played a part in Young Allison getting to Las Vegas. He wanted to blame Cameron or CamNet, but he was assured Young Allison acted on her own and was only assisted by CamNet. It seemed things needed to happen the way they did, when they did. Cameron, Savannah, and Young Allison were all alive and undamaged now. He really didn't think it would have been the case previously. He was sure there would have been a much worse ending.

"Questions regarding the girls are best left unasked." Bob said. "Ask them directly to Cameron. The girls like to have a few secrets of their own. We're not to discuss 'private affairs'. Every girl needs a few secrets."

John thought about some of what he witnessed over the years. He thought about Jesse in the Command Center only a few minutes ago.

"I don't think anything is too secret or private around here." John said. "I'm pretty sure everyone knows what's going on, even behind closed doors."

John didn't need to point out the doors were actually seldom closed when there was something going on.

Bob figured things would pick up dramatically if the living conditions changed.

"It will be especially more so if the Young family moves here." Bob said. "A lot of things will start to happen."

John was sure a lot of things would change if it really happened. He figured things would work out a little differently than he thought they would. He knew nothing was set in stone. It seemed as if anything could happen around the Resistance base, or associated with the Resistance personnel.

"I'm not sure how I feel about it." John said.

Things seemed pretty clear cut to Bob. He anticipated how Cameron would operate.

"Claire will make an excellent sexual partner, and she's able to produce offspring. You should have her pregnant in no time." Bob said. "She's very beautiful as well. She seems to be very popular among the females, both human and cyborg."

John wouldn't mind giving Claire a 'try'. He just wasn't in any hurry to get her pregnant if he did. He would actually like to give all of the girls a 'try'. It was more about control and what Cameron would decide for him, as opposed to him deciding for himself. He did know the next time a naked female was in his bed, she wasn't leaving without something happening of a sexual nature. He wasn't about to turn down any willing females again. What was he thinking before? He actually hoped someone would make a move on their own.

"It's kind of what I was talking about." John said.

Bob studied human males. He was aware of their desires and how they would operate if given the chance. He wanted to point out there was a practical side to it as well.

"They would be better protected here. It would put you closer to the females of the 'Natural Order'." Bob said. "They would be able to bond better if they shared the same room. You could visit both of them immediately."

Bob was sure it would be repeatedly as well.

John pictured himself visiting Savannah's room. Savannah and Young Allison would both be in there and receptive to his advances. He was sure he would get a lot of negative feedback from his mother, and probably Derek and Kyle as well. There was bound to be some type of negative effect on Cameron, regardless of what she always stated. He didn't want to think about getting anyone pregnant right now. He wouldn't mind the sexual activity if it was offered.

"Stop…." John said. "It's getting worse by the word."

Bob didn't see what the problem was. What was inevitable was inevitable. There was no point delaying what was going to happen. Everyone knew what it was. He didn't see any downside for anyone.

"Any numerical age hang up is yours, not ours." Bob said. "The 'Natural Order' is the 'Natural Order'. Production of offspring would be able to start quicker this way. There would be no wasted years. It's an effective strategy."

John could picture all of it happening in a relatively short amount of time. He wondered how long it would be until he was in Summer's room, or she was in his bed. He wasn't about to turn her down either. He quickly closed any windows which weren't specifically related to Resistance matters. He didn't want to get sidetracked.

"Stop…. It's what I was afraid of." John said. "I think they should all stay in Palmdale for now. I think it's actually a better environment for the Young family to exist in. We deal in a lot of death and destruction around here. I don't know if it's something they need to be subjected to anymore than they already have been."

Bob thought there was more than one issue which needed to be considered.

"You're the General." Bob said. "Think of their safety."

John saw things a little differently.

"I'm thinking of mine…." John said.

John knew Cameron would use every trick in the book to further her agenda for him. Or was it really HIS agenda from the future he programmed Cameron to do? He decided if Future John ever came back to this time, he would NEED to answer quite a few questions about 'himself' and Cameron.

He still believed Future John and Cameron were lovers. Maybe it was worse than he thought. Maybe Cameron was programmed to take Future Allison's place. Maybe she was programmed for everything she did, including marrying him. Maybe none of it was her choice and it was the root of her many issues and problems. He couldn't help but notice how she was literally a different person when she was around the girls. All of her interaction was very unlike any of it with him. The part which bothered him the most was she seemed 'happy' when she was around Savannah or Young Allison. He never felt the same way about her when she was around him. He really wondered what was done to her in the future.

In the end it always seemed to come back to point the finger at Future John - himself.

John Henry plugged in to access the medical database. CamNet was waiting for him. She asked for permission to share his chassis for the exam. He agreed. He thanked CamNet for asking first.

Allison was worried about all the attention she seemed to draw. It really seemed like there was too much going on. She just wanted to go back to Vanna's room, well, their room.

"I'm fine." Allison said. "I think so anyway."

John Henry thought the answer reminded him a little too much of Cameron. Cameron always said she was 'fine', even when she wasn't.

"It's what we want to check." John Henry said.

Claire looked around when John Henry spoke. She didn't see any other Terminators.

"Who's 'we'?" Claire asked. "Is there someone else coming?"

John Henry figured he should come 'clean'. CamNet indicated she wanted to do everything above board.

"CamNet has asked to join me and assist me with the examination." John Henry said. "She is currently tied into every medical database there is."

Allison thought about her earlier encounter with CamNet. There was some new thoughts which popped into her mind.

"So when you touch me, CamNet will feel it?" Allison asked. "Will she see and feel everything you feel?"

John Henry knew their experience would be identical.

"Yes. It will be as if she were doing it herself to CamNet." John Henry said. "We will be as one individual. We will be the same."

Jesse looked at the bulge in the front of John Henry's pants.

"Except for the 'junk'…." Jesse said.

John Henry thought he could provide CamNet with a new experience.

"She may wish to examine it as well." John Henry said.

Jesse let her right breast pop out of her top. She wouldn't mind giving CamNet some additional experience, even if it was rather indirectly.

"Do you want to examine me too?" Jesse asked. "I'm in, if CamNet is in."

Claire didn't want Jesse to be too forward.

"Jesse!" Claire said. "Allison is our top priority right now."

Jesse tucked her breast back into her top.

"Sorry, love." Jesse said. "It was just a thought."

Claire thought about it. She knew CamNet was 'Cameron'. Maybe it was an experience she should share as well.

"I haven't gone for a check up in awhile…." Claire said.

Allison and Jesse both looked at her.

John Henry looked at all the girls with anticipation in his eyes. He was urged on by CamNet.

"I'll be able to accommodate all of you." John Henry said. "It's in any capacity you desire as long as I remain plugged in. It can be a shared experience."

John Henry was sure CamNet would like to examine all of the human females. He would like to do the same thing.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

She Will Feel It

Is it the mind
Is it the heart
Maybe it depends
Where things start

Do things grow
Do they stay
It might come down to
What one will say

With each new day
Things get harder to do
Does it all fall back
To me and you

What hits home
There's a swing and a miss
Everything falls apart
It drops into an abyss

One does things
They don't want to admit
One can be assured
She will feel it

Nobody