KAWAAKARI
"The river that glows amidst the darkness"
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Part II
Chapter XVII
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Kagome was in the inner garden that opened directly to her room, kneeling before one of the medicinal plants she kept there. This plant, usually strong and lush, was weakening despite her care. She caressed the stem and the small leaves as she murmured wishes meant for its well-being. She enjoyed maintaining this green space as a private place where she could cultivate as she liked. More than once, her mother had wanted a gardener to intervene, but Kagome showed clear disdain for the idea. Finally, her okāsan accepted that she would take care of it under the condition that Kagome kept it in its best shape. For her, there was something magical about going out to get some fresh air at night after being woken up by a dream, and walking along the path that wound through the greenery. Just as she had done the previous night when the moon was high in the sky. She looked at the slightly opened door of her room from where she was and recalled the moment in as much detail as she could.
She had gone to bed after reviewing the day's events as was her custom, taking some notes on what seemed relevant. The meeting with her friends and the long walk back had exhausted her enough that sleep came as soon as she settled on the futon. As she drifted into sleep, she felt a soft, cold breeze touch her cheeks. Her habit was to lie on her side, despite her mother's insistence that she sleep like a lady, face up and body straight like a fir tree trunk. Kagome often forgot the pillow that helped her with this task, and would instead create her own with the corner of the futon. In that moment of comfort, she felt the air touching her like a cold caress. She felt a certain unease that did not fully rouse her from her drowsiness, but she curled up slightly to shield herself from the cold air and the sense of unease. Suddenly, she felt the touch of a hand falling with some weight over her shoulder and wondered if it was a dream, or the perception of an actual presence by her side. She stirred on the futon, trying to regain awareness of where she was. The touch turned into a caress over her cold cheek, and Kagome remained very still, feeling the warmth of that contact. She was torn between fear and enchantment, a sensation that, for a moment, made her resist opening her eyes. She remained very still, feeling the warm touch of what seemed to be a strong but gentle hand. Inevitably, she imagined it was the hand of InuYasha Taisho; that thought made her hold her breath and triggered other thoughts of longing for that caress to be long, languid, and deeply intense. The desire became so urgent that she imagined or dreamed, she wasn't sure, that this hand freed her from the blankets and slipped under her yukata, sliding up one of her legs.
Her breathing suddenly quickened, and she opened her eyes quickly only to close them again in the natural act of waking. When she felt sufficiently lucid, she saw that the door to her room was open. She sat up on the futon, supporting herself with one hand, and observed the door for a long moment of contemplation. She looked at the blankets, which were more disheveled than she could have caused by waking.
She got up from the futon and wrapped herself in one of the blankets. The cool air from outside the room touched her immediately, and Kagome had a clear memory of the warm hand on her cheek.
After that, it took her a bit longer to fall back asleep, and when she did, the dreams she experienced were unsettling and intimate. Even now, long after waking, she still felt her cheeks flush at the memory of some of them. She caressed one of the weakened leaves of the plant she kept by her room for protection. She had a feeling that was strange and impossible; InuYasha Taisho had been here. Kagome was fully aware of how improbable that idea was, yet something resembling certainty remained in her heart.
She stood up and decided it was best to turn her thoughts to something else. So, she headed to one of the storerooms in the temple where her grandfather kept fertilizer. Perhaps with a little of that powder dissolved in water, her protective plant would improve. The path was quiet; the temple had few visitors, and this day had been particularly lonely. Kagome attributed the few visitors to the long stairs one had to climb to reach it. She walked the same path she had taken with Mr. Taisho a few days ago, calmly recalling parts of their conversation. She still did not know what InuYasha had discussed with her grandfather, and that kept her in a state of unease, one that time had taught her how to hide.
As she passed one of the altars dedicated to wishes of goodness and mercy, she heard a sharp, short sound that she immediately associated with the meow of a small cat. She approached the altar and circled it to find a small white cat with brown and gray spots. The animal was hiding between two stones supporting the altar.
"Hello, little one." She extended her hand and waited for the cat to approach. However, the kitten did not seem too eager to do so. Kagome thought about the cold and how long the cat might have been in that place.
She looked back; the house was not too far, and she could go get something to feed , and convince the animal. However, she encouraged herself to get a little closer, still with her hand extended. The cat drew closer, hesitant and timid, sniffing her fingertips, and Kagome felt the tickle of its fine whiskers. Finally, the kitten relented and rubbed its side against her hand.
"That's it," she murmured, and lifted the small body to her chest, covering it with the sleeve of her komon. "Let's go home."
The words seemed to calm the cat, and Kagome was able to carry it inside, momentarily forgetting the fertilizer she had been looking for.
Once near the kitchen, she approached Hanae, who was preparing a tray for tea. Kagome observed, first thinking it was the usual tea for her ojisan, but there was more than one container prepared.
"Has someone come?" The cat meowed at the exact moment Kagome asked the question.
"Are you bringing a cat?" Hanae observed the kitten with curiosity.
"Yes. You wouldn't have some food for him, would you?" Kagome stroked the cat's head, and it nudged her fingers in return.
"Is it a male?" The woman approached a cabinet, took a clay bowl, and put a spoonful of the stew she had in the pot by the fire.
"I think so," Kagome tried to check, "though I'm not very sure."
"Will you keep it?" Hanae brought the bowl to Kagome across the table, and she saw it was too hot for the kitten to eat, so she blew on it in hopes of cooling the food somewhat.
"It was next to the small altar to Kanon," she gave that reason, which Hanae seemed to understand immediately.
"If the Deity of Mercy has sheltered it, then we must receive it," the woman concluded.
The little cat seemed unwilling to wait any longer for the food to cool and stretched out of Kagome's grasp to reach the bowl.
"Wait, you'll fall," she smiled as she said that. She put the kitten on the floor next to the bowl and watched as it hesitantly tasted the food before starting to eat. Only then did she turn her attention back to Hanae.
"Is there someone with ojisan?" Kagome observed the tea tray Hanae was preparing. The woman nodded gently and looked at her.
"Seijitsu-san has come," she mentioned calmly, then added, "I think he has come for you."
The words came from a silent understanding that Hanae had about Kagome, and she knew it. The woman had been part of the household staff since Kagome was a baby, and with her observational skills, she was able to anticipate what Kagome needed. Kagome, in turn, recognized something akin to a friend in Hanae. She was the woman who concealed Kagome's small acts of rebellion, whether it was removing the pillow her mother wanted her to sleep with, the disappearance of some sweets on the days she practiced archery, or her love of reaching the highest branches of a tree in the forest surrounding the temple. Hanae understood the indomitable spirit that Kagome kept hidden from everyone else and encouraged her to comply with her mother's requests to be the lady she was expected to be. Once, Kagome asked her why she led her to contradict herself, and Hanae said that it was not contradictory to be what one should be; it was contradictory to be only what one wants to be.
Kagome accepted those words, though it was over time that she understood the way they pointed at. She was free enough to know her capabilities and knew the tether that bound her to fulfill her role in the Higurashi family. She did not desire it, but this was the way things were done, and it was her contribution to the well-being of those she loved.
"I think so too," Kagome finally agreed.
She remained silent, stroking the small cat's back as Hanae finished preparing the tray.
"You should change, Kagome-san. Wear something more appropriate," Hanae said from the door that connected the kitchen with the hallway leading to the large room.
"Perhaps," Kagome agreed, "though I think this is fine."
Her appearance was her usual at home. She wore a plain komon without decorative details; only the obi had some flowers, giving the outfit a cheerful yet austere look. At that exact moment, her mother entered the kitchen.
"You were here!" The woman's voice tried to be as measured as possible, expressing the mix of anxiety and relief she felt. Hanae had to step back to avoid colliding with her as she entered briskly. "What are you doing in those clothes? You must change," she decided as she approached a few steps. "There's no time for a kimono. You can wear the pale pink komon with sagisō flowers embroidered on it," Kagome recalled the meaning of that flower and bit her tongue to avoid expressing the real complaint in her throat. "Hanae, I'll take the tea. Help Kagome."
Her mother took the tray from Hanae's hands.
"Hōjō has seen me in this komon before," Kagome attempted a not too direct reply while stroking the kitten, which was licking itself.
"Exactly, and this visit is different, you know it," her mother urged. Kagome sighed softly, accepting her fate. "Is that a cat?"
Kagome didn't feel like affirming the obvious.
She changed into the komon as her mother had requested. She could understand the desire for everything to go well, but the tension in her mother surprised her.
"Hanae, don't you think okāsan is acting different?" She asked the question as a casual comment. It was not her intention to put a negative idea about her mother in Hanae's thoughts.
"Your okāsan worries about you; she has done so every moment of your life," Hanae responded as she adjusted the obi, which was a pale yellow color, the same as the sagisō flowers that decorated the lower part and slightly ascended in front. Kagome observed herself in the mirror and focused on the detail of the embroidered flowers. It was a small and delicate orchid representing purity and a clear message of longing. Dreaming of you, would be an appropriate phrase to define its use. Kagome felt like she had a scream stuck in her chest despite understanding that this step was usual in families. After all, Hōjō was far from being the worst person she could marry. Perhaps she should be grateful that her mother did not ask her to wear the kimono embroidered with a garden of Shirayuri to demonstrate purity and chastity.
At that moment, she realized that yes, her mother was worried about her.
When she was ready, with her hair brushed and tied a few centimeters before reaching its full length, she approached the room where her grandfather and Hōjō were having tea. The door was open, indicating that those in the room were family. Kagome noticed that this knowledge made her tense.
She presented herself at the door and made a soft bow to be accepted inside the room. Hōjō was standing, which caught her attention.
"Kagome-chan," her grandfather addressed her, and Hōjō did the same with his gaze. "Seijitsu-san is leaving. Could you accompany him?"
"Of course," Kagome made a bow of acceptance, concealing her doubt at the formality of her ojisan's words. He usually did not treat Hōjō that way, at least not until now.
The man approached her with seriousness and showed her the way with a gentle gesture of his hand. Kagome had to acknowledge the care in Hōjō's manners with her, reaffirming her belief that he would make a good husband. They walked in silence through the long corridor that led them out of the central part of the residence. Kagome began to wonder if this silence was part of a new way of interacting between them.
"I thought I wouldn't get to see you," the boy's voice was slightly subdued, and Kagome perceived a certain darkness in the light around him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were coming today," she tried to be as correct as possible while keeping pace two steps behind him.
Hōjō stopped and turned to her when they were at the step leading to the outer garden, which in turn opened a path to the exit. The man extended a hand for her to use as support to descend the steps and find the geta that Hanae had left there in advance.
While putting on her sandals, the man spoke again.
"I wanted to have a conversation with ojisan."
Kagome felt a slight chill down her back. Hōjō was expressing what she suspected, yet she asked no questions. He looked at her, and Kagome noticed her heart racing with anxiety. Probably the type of relationship they had was about to change. She could no longer address Hōjō as a friend and would have to start treating him as her future husband. This realization brought tears to her eyes. She lowered her gaze and forced herself to breathe deeply to calm her emotions. Among all those conclusions, there was a lingering thought she couldn't escape: What would happen with InuYasha Taisho?
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To be continued.
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N/A
KAWAAKARI is a story I write with some insecurity, especially due to the amount of detail I include in it. Later, when I review it a few days after finishing the chapter, I find phrases and emotions that encourage me, and feel beautiful. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.
I especially want to thank those who read and take the time to leave a comment.
Kisses,
Anyara
This text is possible thanks to the translation of: Dezart