Chapter 34

"You were never the salad, healthy eating type." Vallea knew him better than that and would never think to order him something healthy. The man worked his ass off to obtain the body he had, which was still scrumptious to this day. He could eat whatever the hell he wanted. "You want a cheeseburger?"

When he ordered her to make it a double, she chuckled and saluted him, placing the order. Her stomach was still in knots being here, so she went with a crispy chicken salad, something light. Vallea had gained a few pounds since being in Phoenix, mostly depression eating, but she still had her figure, just some meat in other areas.

"It'll be here in about an hour."

"An hour for a cheeseburger?" What the shit? Jon flopped back onto the bed and instantly regretted it, closing his eyes as dizziness addled the hell out of him. "Shit."

He pulled himself up, ignoring her confused look as he made his way to the bathroom. There he proceeded to vomit all the Ginger Ale and lime jello the hospital had given him. They had warned him upon discharge nausea and whatnot was going to be an issue, he wished they had been lying. Jon had managed to shut the door right before he started hurling his brains out. Maybe a cheeseburger wasn't the brightest idea. She contemplated changing the order, but decided against it and touched the door with her hand, wishing there was something she could do for him. When she didn't hear him vomiting anymore, she knocked gently on the door and heard him groan out incoherently. Opening the door, Vallea grabbed the nearest washcloth and drenched it before kneeling down to wipe his mouth off.

"Come on, let me help you." This is why she was here as she tossed the rag in the sink, flushed the toilet and managed to get him back to the bed, laying him down gently. Then, she grabbed a small trashcan and set it right on the side of the bed, just in case he had to vomit again. "I know you're not gonna like hearing this, but…maybe a cheeseburger will be too hard on your stomach right now. Why don't you try a ham sandwich or something and maybe have a cheeseburger later on?"

"Dude, no, cheeseburger and I'll vomit it all back up if I have to." Jon groaned out. "I bounced back, that's what did it. Babe…could I get my toothbrush and some paste, please?" His mouth was disgusting and he was trying not to run his tongue anywhere because he could still taste that acidic combination of jello and soda, mixed with leftover bourbon.

Vallea nodded, going to his bag and found his toiletries, already knowing where he packed them. She had actually helped him with his packing regimen and was surprised he had kept up with it because everything stayed organized. Pulling his toothbrush and toothpaste out, she also filled a plastic cup of water and went back to the bed, so he could brush his teeth.

"Spit in the garbage after rinsing your mouth out." She smirked at his eyeroll and sat down on the bed, waiting for him to finish. "Better?"

"Yes, MOM." Jon drawled sarcastically, though the corner of his mouth was hitched upwards into an amused smirk. "Or nurse, you could still be a hot nurse." She had gained some weight, something he had instantly noticed. Since most of it seemed to have gone straight to her ass and thighs, he wasn't bitching. Thick was yummy. "Don't cancel my burger, woman. I've been living on lettuce and fat-free dressing for two weeks. Take pity on me."

Something told her it had to do with the blonde he was with at the restaurant. "In a way, I am your nurse, so I suppose I have to take pity on my patient." She teased gently, taking the toothbrush, paste and cup of water from him to put them in the bathroom. "Burger it is, just don't blame me if it comes back up later, Jon. Do you need anything else right now?" When Jon shook his head, she decided it was the perfect time to change into her sleepwear for the evening. "I'll be right back then. I'm gonna change into my sleep clothes." Grabbing her bag, she went into one of the spare rooms and closed the door behind her.

As soon as that door closed, his smile fell right off his face and he quietly groaned. WHY hadn't he insisted on someone else being here? Or doing this solo? He was a glutton for punishment, that was his damn problem. Being around her hurt, it stirred things he had thought he had killed with alcohol and repeating the lie. But no, it hadn't, it was there, just buried. Seeing her, smelling her, so much was the same and so much had changed.

"I'm screwed…" But he didn't flop backwards this time, not about to have another vomiting episode.

Over the next week, Jon put up a front with Vallea and she could feel it, but she refused to leave him alone. The private physician told him he was doing well, but he still had another week to go before he could go back on the road to join the WWE. Vallea contemplated when would be the best time to bring up what had been on the forefront of her mind since running into him again. The dreaded TALK. One week wasn't long enough, but if she waited much longer, Vallea would miss her opportunity.

How was she supposed to bring the subject up though? How was she supposed to approach him with this? Maybe it was best to just rip the band-aid off quickly. It was three days before he was set to go back on the road and Vallea sat in her room, feeling the overwhelming urge to run again. No! There was no more running and she meant what she said; one way or another, she would get the truth out of Jon. Taking a deep breath, Vallea left her room and could see Jon was in the middle of watching some kind of game on ESPN. She walked over, shut the television off and stood in front of it, her hands reaching back to press against the edge of the dresser it was on.

"Why did you lie to me, Jon?" There was no other way to come out and ask it except directly, her eyes locked with his. "We were so happy, at least I thought we were…I damn sure was. So why would you sabotage that by lying to me?"

"Lie about what, babe?"

Jon SHOULD have been expecting this. He had felt the tension from her, emanating in waves. He had seen the thoughtful, somewhat worried look on her face from time to time. Like she had been contemplating something and just didn't know how to go about saying it. THIS wasn't what he had been expecting. He had quipped so casually, his pale blue eyes moving to her as he draped an arm along the back of the headboard.

"Oh…. It's not a lie, Vallea." He had spent over a year with it, he could almost believe it himself, almost. "Besides, if it was a lie, you wouldn't have cut ties with everyone and everything and ran off. You'd of-" She had tried, and he mentally slapped himself, his face going stone wall blank.

That night she had wanted to talk to him and he had shut her down.

He was really going to do this, wasn't he? He was REALLY going to sit there and lie to her face AGAIN! "Yes it is, Jon. You lied to me about cheating! You know how I know?" She wouldn't drop any names, but Vallea would make sure he believed what she was about to say. "Someone came to me and told me what really happened that night." Now his face had gone from stone wall blank to slightly pale. "How you were talking to the bartender, a blonde, and she NEVER left the bar with you when YOU left for a couple hours. You LEFT Madonna's Bar that night…and nobody knows why. Convenient considering you've been putting on this show and trying to make people think the worst of you, myself included. The moment you told me you cheated on me, I felt in my heart it was a lie. But my brain told me otherwise and I listened to the wrong part of myself." She pointed at him accusingly, her hazel eyes alighted with new fire. "You. Lied. To. Me. You pushed me away and I demand to know why. I DESERVE to know why it was so easy for you to throw us away on a LIE!"

Whereas she was getting all riled up and raising her voice, Jon just snorted, shaking his head. "You don't deserve anything, Vallea. You threw away your job, your career, and your friends because of a 'lie'," He even did the air quotes gesture, his voice very calm and collected. "You don't get to demand answers, or anything from me when you're just as big an asshole as I am. I hurt YOU. You hurt everyone around you. Monique, for example. You just shut her down. Your life in Vegas, you tossed aside very easily. So no, you don't demand and you don't deserve."

It was her turn to scoff. "Do you really think any of that matters to me? You RIPPED ME APART with this lie, Jonathan Good! Nothing else mattered to me anymore! My job, my friends, my career, none of it mattered WITHOUT YOU! And you threw it away, us away…" Her voice had gotten quieter, the anger slowly draining out of her body. All the pent up emotion and frustration had spilled out, leaving her somewhat drained. "I couldn't…stay in Vegas because all I thought about was you. Vegas reminded me so much of you, I couldn't stay there. I couldn't go to the Red Rocks and I haven't mountain climbed since the last time with you. And I never will again because of you." He had destroyed that passion of hers with this lie. "Monique dating your best friend, I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle seeing them together, hearing about them…while I was miserable. I'm a selfish bitch and I've accepted that. But what I will NOT accept is you trying to weasel your way out of this with your smart remarks and ACT. That's all it is from you is an ACT. You've been lying to me, to everyone, for the past year. You destroyed me in ways you can't possibly imagine and, yet, here I am, punishing myself by helping you because you're a disease I can't get rid of. I came here to Phoenix to start over because I thought it would help me forget all about you and what you've done to me and put me through. I didn't even watch WWE programming until that night almost 2 weeks ago when you collapsed in the ring, after seeing you at the diner with Joe and that blonde. Since you won't come clean to me, I just have one more question and then I'm leaving since you're back on your feet again. Did you ever truly love me? Or was that all an act too?"

Wow, what a selfish bitch, was Jon's initial thought.

She didn't give a damn about the people she had hurt because SHE had been hurt. Well, Vallea had never said she was perfect, he would always give her that. His second thought was a flashback to those crazy fan girls who had lost their shit and carved his ring name into their flesh. Nothing mattered. Not her job or friends, not without him. Crazy. But…who was he to judge? He had murdered for her. If that wasn't love he didn't know what was. She knew she wasn't perfect, she hadn't said she was a scumbag, but she wasn't denying it either. She was a heartless bitch who cared that her world had been destroyed and she owned it. He… adored that. He adored her. And she thought he had lied about loving her.

"It wasn't an act, you know better." He growled, icy blues flashing. "I never stopped loving you."

"And why should I believe you? HOW can I believe anything you say?" Vallea stepped back from him, shaking her head and didn't bother stopping the tears from flowing down her cheeks. "You lied to me about that night fucking that blonde! I gave you everything – EVERYTHING – I had and more and you didn't care! You just tossed it away like it was nothing to you and it probably wasn't! You got what you wanted from me. You never loved me. You DON'T destroy the people you love!" That was exactly what he did with this enormous, heartless lie of his. He had completely destroyed her from the inside out – she was a shell of the woman she used to be and Vallea would never be the same again…because of him. "If you loved me, truly loved me, you would tell me the fucking truth instead of sticking to this damn story and lie of yours."

"You believe, no, you KNOW," Jon was on his feet now, the stony expression melting into something exasperated, desperate, and pissed off. "That I didn't cheat on you, but it's IMPOSSIBLE for you to believe that I LOVE YOU?" She made absolutely no sense! It was maddening. "Did you ever stop to think, Vallea, that maybe the truth is so goddamn horrible that the LIE IS BETTER FOR EVERYONE?!" She KNEW him. She knew him better than anyone and she knew, deep down, that he wouldn't be lying if he thought the truth wasn't going to wreck hell, but it would.

Good, she wanted him angry and fired up because usually, when people got like that, they spilled secrets. They spilled the truth. If getting him pissed off and riled up was the ONLY way to get him to admit what she already knew, so be it. "IT'S NOT BETTER FOR ME! Making me believe you fucked another woman is NOT BETTER FOR ME! Making me believe you never loved me IS NOT BETTER FOR ME! YOU NEVER GAVE A DAMN ABOUT ME! YOU NEVER LOVED ME OR YOU WOULDN'T HAVE DESTROYED ME! YOU WOULDN'T HAVE LIED! YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TOSSED ME AWAY LIKE GARBAGE!" Vallea erupted, clenching her fists tightly at her sides since they were toe to toe, both breathing heavy, both with fire in their eyes. "I don't give a fuck what you did that night, Jon! I really don't! You don't have to tell me a fucking thing about that night, if you don't want to! The ONLY thing I want to hear from you is the TRUTH! I want to hear you say you lied to me and you NEVER fucked a blonde or any other woman while you were with me!"

"OKAY, I DIDN'T TOUCH HER!"

That was the first time Jon had ever actually admitted that. When those detectives had dropped that lie right into his lap and he still had no idea where it had come from, he had taken that gift ball from the gods and ran with it. He hadn't wanted to go prison, not over some dickwad like Ryan. And he hadn't wanted anyone to think, even for a second, that Vallea was somehow involved when she wasn't.

"I don't even KNOW a fucking Mindy!"