76: Uneasiness

Of course, I'd never be so lucky as to get a whole night without danger. No sooner do I finish my chat with Professor Velvet than the first deadly battle is suddenly upon us.

"Hey, Merry." I ask, slicing the charred chicken in half with my knife and examining the interior. A slightly darker patch of meat with a reflective wetness stares back at me… as I thought, only the exterior has been cooked. Ahhh, coq au vin - I'd heard a bunch about it, so I was really looking forward to it you know!?

"Y-yes, Monsieur Subaru? Is th-the dish to your liking!?" Merry sputters, a desperate smile on her face.

"...You know, you were wearing that maid outfit earlier so I didn't question letting you cook. You burned whatever that was supposed to be earlier today, but everyone burns food sometimes, so I let it pass." I say, prodding a carrot - yeah, it hasn't softened at all.. "But now I have to ask - do you actually have any cooking experience?"

"O-of course I do!" She says. "I've cooked plenty! I'm a girl, after all!"

"...But not on your own, right?" I ask, and she goes silent. Gingerly, I pluck a leaf from the broth. "To be honest, keeping the bay leaves in was a dead giveaway. And with the chicken charred like this… I'm guessing you made the usual rookie mistake of thinking you could use more heat for a shorter time and get the same result, yeah?"

The only answer I get is a sniffle, and I turn to look at her- oh crap, she's crying! Nice going, idiot! How the hell are you gonna fix this, Natsuki Subaru!?

"H-hey, there's no need to cry, okay? We can fix it together! Look, the only thing burnt is the skin, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to remove it anyway-"

Merry lets out a wail of defeat as she collapses to her knees.

"Hey, come on! This is no time to give up! It's just a learning experience, like any other - I was a butler for a while so just think of me as senior staff. Learning on the job is unavoidable if you want to be a maid - are you a maid or aren't you!?" I put on my best grin and reach down to help her up-

"I'm noooot!" She moans. Pep talk backfire!? "I just wanted to try on one of Mademoiselle Valour's dresses because I wanted to be like her one day and I thought I was going to be killed like everyone else soon and I wanted to at least wear it once-!"

"So you're not a maid, it's just an ambition of yours?" I ask.

"It was my dream… even though I knew it would never come true, I still wanted to be a maid one day…" She sniffles.

"What's with that weirdly low level dream? Shouldn't you be wanting to be a princess or something? Maids are servants, you know, and not the supernatural type." I mumble, and then speak louder so she can hear. "Look, like I said, I was a butler once. If you want to learn, I guess I can teach-"

"Really!?" Merry jolts to her feet, clutching my hand in a death grip as she unleashes a smile that would have been dazzling on any girl with normal teeth. "Would you really do that for me, Monsieur Subaru!?"

"I will, I will! Give me some personal space!" Get those chompers aways from me already!

"Yes sir!" She says, jumping back and assuming a ridiculously stiff-looking posture with her hands way too far behind her back… Ahh, it's so completely wrong that it kind of hurts.

Summoning my courage, I stand and turn toward the kitchen. "...Alright, We'll start with Mathers mansion absolute basics - steaming potatoes!"

"...Potatoes?" She asks, confused, and I freeze. "What are those, Monsieur Subaru?"

"The Columbian exchange agaaaain!?"

As far as students go, Merry is impeccable. Not a single word of my instruction is ignored. She soaks it all up like a sponge. There's nothing quite like teaching an eager learner, huh?

"Always make sure to keep your knives nice and sharp - especially if you're gonna be cutting onions." I explain. "If the blade gets too blunt, or you don't deliver the cut right, you'll bruise the onion and it'll release the juices that make you tear up into the air."

I receive a vigorous nod, and almost reach out to stop Merry as she moves to do it - but it seems she already knows how to properly apply a whetstone to a blade, so my worry is unfounded.

Come to think of it, her handling of the knife has been utterly flawless, too. Actual cooking skills aside, she hasn't had any need for the dozens of bandages I churned through when I was starting.

"Is this what actual talent looks like…?" I sigh. "But Petra picked everything up quickly too. I guess Nee-sama was right about me in the end, huh?"

…That's enough indulging in nostalgia, though. Breath deeply, and slap your cheeks - keep your head up, Natsuki Subaru. This is just one more step on the road home, so don't give in.

"-By the way, have you tried the Chaldea uniform they sent yet?" I ask, changing the subject.

"That's…" The girl frowns, gazing downward. "I don't… want to fight."

Before I can say anything, she flinches, and lets out a small shudder. Some kind of unseen scolding from her Servant? But Siegfried doesn't seem like the type… In other words, it's just another hint towards the Professor's theory, huh?

"Hey, cheer up. Saying that you're fighting is a huge exaggeration! All of the spells in the Chaldea mystic code are supportive in nature. All you need to do is help the Professor dodge, and heal someone if something goes wrong. Emergency Reinforcement exists too, but I can't think of a way that this could play out where that turns out to be useful…" I trail off, wondering if I raised a flag just now. "Anyway, it'll be fine! Anyone expecting you to actually do the real fighting would be crazy! That's not what a Master's job is, after all."

"That… I don't like being called that, Monsieur Subaru." She mumbles. "I'm just a normal girl. I can't carry a title like 'Master', especially not for someone like Lord Siegfried. There's no way I can live up to that."

"Hm? I mean, if you don't like that title, just call yourself a 'Spirit Knight' or something."

"That's even worse!" She all but wails.

"Ah, is that so? I'm real proud of that title, though…" I mumble. "But, the fact is, you can call it whatever sounds right. 'Dedicated back-watcher', maybe?"

"Isn't that a bit too literal?" She lets out a slightly bewildered laugh - ah, that's a really nice sounding noise, actually. "Monsieur Subaru? Is something the matter?"

"No it's- actually, yeah. You can cut the 'Monsieur' part, if you want. We're fellow dedicated back-watchers, after all." I reply.

"D-don't double down on that silly title!" She giggles some more, and I can't help but laugh too. The joke isn't funny, really, but her laugh is contagious.

It isn't that it's supernaturally charming, or anything. I've had enough of things like that. If I had to put it into words it would be "Oh, this girl was born to laugh."

The fact that I met her under these circumstances… is just one more thing I can't forgive that supposed King of Demon Gods for, I guess.

"Thank you for lending her a hand, Natsuki-dono." A new voice says as I finish the last of the cleaning. Dono, huh? I guess it suits his personality, but it's been some time since I heard that kind of honorific attached to my name.

"Ah, Siegfried. Is it safe for you to be materialized?" I ask. He had been speaking through Merry earlier, after all - but I guess if he wanted to thank me behind her back like this, he had to wait until I dismissed her early. Seriously, that girl is unbelievably lucky she got me instead of Ram.

"It isn't ideal, but…" He trails off. "My Master has enough worries at the moment. I would rather not burden her with this - but I feel that you and the tactician should know."

"Ugh, more bad news?" I groan, massaging my temples.

"I'll keep this brief." He exhales, and his eyes narrow. "The Evil Dragon Fafnir - I have no memories of slaying him."

"What." What the hell does he mean he doesn't remember!?

"Sorry, perhaps I phrased that wrong… Wagner wrote that I slew Fafnir, and I know that Sigurd faced Fafnir in his legend. If that makes what I faced that day Fafnir, then I suppose it was Fafnir. But such a name doesn't appear in my memories, and I don't think I could identify him by sight." He says, only making me more confused.

"Wait, I thought that Sigurd was just the Norse name for you. Why are you talking like he's another Heroic Spirit entirely?" I ask.

"I don't know. There is some syncretism among Heroic Spirits, but all the information I have from the Throne of Heroes suggests that Sigurd was another Heroic Spirit." The Saber replies. "In any case, as far as the fight itself went, all I remember of it is hearing the Dragon's roar - and the rest is a blur of instinct. The next thing I knew the creature was dead and I was waist deep in blood."

That's-

"The Dragon?" Georgius had said. "I don't remember it very well, to be honest. One moment I caught the foul scent of its toxic breath, and the next thing I knew I had slain it, The rest is just a desperate repetition of prayers."

"...I think that might be how it is for all Dragonslayers, actually." I reply. "That was Saint George's experience, anyway."

"I see." Siegfried says, eyes closed in contemplation. "Regardless, this whole digression is to say - as far as plans to counter Fafnir go, I don't have anything that I can offer. I noticed that your Caster hadn't mentioned anything to deal with him, so I just wanted to bring it up…"

"In case I was relying on you to supply such a thing, right?" Professor Velvet asks, materializing in response. "Don't worry about it. I've already prepared countermeasures."

"Understood." The Saber answers. "In that case, nevermind - I'm sorry for troubling you."

He vanishes in a cloud of spiritrons, and the room goes silent.

A/N:

In honor of the Re: Zero Season 3 announcement I guess. Maybe we'll see the end of Orleans before it releases.

To be honest the chapter title is about my feelings towards it. I'm very hesitant about this one, for a multitude of reasons. Merry especially, I'm walking a bit of a tightrope trying to get her character across without tipping my hand regarding things.