Apology

A/N: Set during the episode, "Love Triangle".

Carl grumbled to himself as he dabbed a wash rag behind his ear as he sat on the couch in his bath robe. Three showers and he was still finding Boston cream everywhere. And if that wasn't bad enough, he just knew the water bill was going to skyrocket from five people taking multiple showers in one day, the laundry, and the amount of water it took to clean up the kitchen after the food fight.

Footsteps coming down the stairs got his attention and the lieutenant turned his head and saw Steve Urkel coming downstairs changed in a clean set of clothes.

"Carl, can we talk?" he asked.

"Oh let me guess," Carl said, "are you going to say again how 'you're so soooor-ry'?"

Steve shook his head. "No, I believe I more than proficiently apologized for my role in the Boston cream brouhaha. I believe now an apology from you is in order."

Carl's eyes bugged out as he cocked his head towards Steve. "Apology from me? To who?"

"To me," Steve pointed a finger at his chest, "you intentionally shoved two cakes on my rear, one in my face and one on my head. But I only accidentally hit you with one, because I was trying to hit Eddie, who intentionally hit me with one, after I accidentally hit him."

Carl squinted, "Huh?"

"Oh that whole mess started with Laura and Maxine," Steve explained, "Laura got mad at Max for going out with Curtis, the guy Laura broke up with at Christmastime, to be with Stefan. Well, when Max told us she and Curtis were going out Saturday night, Laura got insanely jealous and shoved a cake in Max's face because she thinks Curtis is going out with Max to get back with Laura. Max retaliated and hit Laura in the face with one. I tried to get the two of them to break it up, and they both hit me with a cake, so I tried to get them back for it, and wound up hitting Eddie instead. So if you want to blame someone for the mess that took place this afternoon, start with Laura. I love her more than life itself and she's an angel, but that doesn't mean she walks on water."

"Wait a minute...let me get this straight...that fiasco I walked into was about Laura and Max fighting over some guy?" Carl asked.

"That's exactly right," Steve said, "from there it just snowballed...which is ironic because the Boston massacre of 1770 was started over people throwing snowballs-"

Carl held up his hand. "I don't need a history lesson right now, Steve."

"Well? What do you say, Big Guy?" Steve asked.

Carl rolled his eyes and huffed and said, "Okay...okay, you're right, I owe you an apology."

Steve waited and asked, "Well where is it?"

Carl blinked. "Seriously?"

"Well you said you owe me an apology, but you didn't actually give it," Steve pointed out, then stopped, "hmm, that seems familiar for some reason."

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" Carl asked.

"Not on your life," Steve answered without missing a beat, "so what do you say?"

Carl gritted his teeth and reluctantly hissed out, "I'm...s-s-s-s-orry, that I hit you with the Boston cream cakes. Happy now?"

"Well, it's one down," Steve said as he sat down beside Carl on the couch. "Now, any tips for how I can squeeze an apology out of Eddie for his malicious attack on me?"

Carl sighed. "Not now, Steve. Right now I'm preparing for a very difficult negotiation strategy."

"Oh, what's that?"

"I'm going to ask Mama to come back over and babysit Richie and 3J again on my conditions," Carl said. "I don't have a choice, if we don't get someone to babysit, Harriette and I will never be able to go out...and if we leave you in charge, the house will probably burn down while we're gone."

"Fair point," Steve said. "Besides, I need my nights free to go out with Myra." He thought of something and perked up, "Say...maybe we can double date with you and Harriette one night."

"I don't think so, Steve," Carl said.

"Oh come on, Big Guy, there's bound to be tons of things we can do together. You think Harriette would be interested in a slug hunt?"

"Definitely not," Carl answered without missing a beat.

"Well you guys don't know what you're missing out on," Steve said.

"Somehow, I think we do," Carl replied.