Opening Montage
Music: "Who Says You Can't Go Home" by Bon Jovi, featuring Jennifer Nettles
First shot is Quinn seated on a train. Jim takes the seat next to her and they start talking. Cut to a shot of Quinn and Jim's wedding five years later. Then cut to a hospital room a few years later and we see an exhausted Quinn and smiling Jim holding newborn triplets. Cut to present day and we see the triplets now middle school aged. Teddy is reading a book while Tommy and Timmy fight over the video game controller. Cut to Teddy rolling his eyes disdainfully at his immature brothers. Next, cut to a shot of Jim working on a car while a tripod mounted camera records the whole thing. Next shot is Quinn making a S'mores 'n' Pores video in the kitchen. Next shot is Jim chatting with Jamie, Chuck and Kevin over beer while Brittany rebuffs an advance by Daryl in the background. Next shot is Jamie teaching a history class at Lawndale High. He notices that the current quarterback is making out with his cheerleader girlfriend in class, causing Jamie to have a DeMartino-style meltdown. Next, we see Teddy hanging out at the park with a girl his age who is visibly of mixed European/East Asian heritage. They watch the 'normal' people with visible disdain, implying that this girl is the Jane to Teddy's Daria. Next, we see Timmy making out with Q Ruttheimer while three girls are practically throwing themselves at Tommy. Final shot is Quinn, Jim and the triplets standing on the front lawn and then being joined by the rest of the regular cast. They all smile at the audience. The following caption appears under them...
Lawndale
this episode:
"Run, Timmy, Run"
written by
WildDogJJ
Glenfield Middle School, day...
A bunch of eleven- and twelve-year old boys are taking turns demonstrating their football skills on the field while the head coach, a dark-haired man in his mid-thirties, watches and takes notes. Among the boys are Tommy Carbone and Kevin Thompson Jr. The coach sees Tommy throw a pass and is visibly impressed. At the same time, he's equally impressed by Kevin Jr.'s ability to run with the ball and dodge obstacles. Finally, the coach blows his whistle, and the boys all stop.
"AWRIGHT, LINE UP," the coach barked with a heavy New York accent, "Youse kids all did great."
"Thanks, Coach Nicoletti," said Tommy.
Coach Nicoletti proceeded to announce who made the team and who didn't.
"Tommy Carbone, starting quarterback!"
Tommy did a fist pump.
"YES!"
Nicoletti called the next name.
"Kevin Thompson Junior, starting running back!"
Kevin Jr. did a fist pump.
"AWRIGHT!"
Meanwhile, inside the gym...
The cheerleading coach, a raven-haired woman in her thirties named Wilson, was watching one of the girls do a cheer. That girl was Q Ruttheimer, Chuck and Stacy's daughter. She chanted while doing a jump and split with pom-poms.
"WE'VE GOT SPIRIT, YES WE DO! WE'VE GOT SPIRIT, HOW ABOUT YOU? GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GLENFIELD!"
Coach Wilson nodded approvingly.
"That was very good, Q!"
Q smiled.
"Thanks!"
"Welcome to the cheerleading squad!"
Q could barely contain her excitement.
"Thanks!"
Coach Wilson looked at her clipboard.
"Okay, that just leaves one position to fill...mascot."
Timmy Carbone put on the headpiece of his wolf costume and took his place on the mat. Then, the music started to play.
Music: "I Like It" by Enrique Iglesias
BABY, I LIKE IT
The way you move on the floor
OH, YES, I LIKE IT
Now, come on, gimmie some more
Timmy did a silly dance and continued to raise his arms at an imaginary crowd as if encouraging them to make some noise. Coach Wilson was visibly impressed. Timmy finished his dance with a power slide on his knees while continuing to raise his arms in the 'make some noise' gesture. Once the music stopped, Coach Wilson and the cheerleaders all applauded exclusively.
"Everyone," said Wilson, "We now have a mascot...Timmy Carbone, congratulations, you are now the Glenfield Wolf!"
Timmy did a fist pump.
"YES!"
Thompson house, afternoon...
Jim Carbone, Kevin Thompson, Jamie White and Chuck Ruttheimer were all sitting on the porch and drinking beer while talking.
"Well, how about that," Jim beamed proudly, "One of my sons is the quarterback and the other's the Glenfield Wolf!"
Jamie sighed. "Wish I had a son," he lamented, "Not that I don't love Rachel, but it'd be nice if I had a son playing football."
"I have a daughter," Chuck bragged in reference to Q, "A daughter who just made the cheerleading squad!"
Added Kevin, "And I'm not even upset that Junior isn't the QB! Running back's just as important, and almost as cool as being QB! That's definitely MY boy!"
Ironically, that's when Daryl (Kevin Jr.'s real father) pulled up in his Corvette convertible.
"Hey, Kevin," said Daryl, "I'm going to the Morgendorffer's to work with Helen on my reparations lawsuit, wanna come with?"
"Cool," said Kevin, "I'm, like, so there, bro!" He then turned to the rest of the guys. "Later!"
Kevin then got into the passenger seat of Daryl's car. After they sped off, the other guys commented on the situation.
"Guys," said Chuck, "I don't know what's weirder: Brittany no longer having an affair, or Kevin being friends with her former lover."
Jim immediately changed the subject.
"Jamie, about Rachel," he said, "Don't let it bum ya. I'm in the same boat with my third son. Teddy only likes to read and write. Those aren't sports."
Jamie visibly felt better.
"I guess I could do worse than a daughter whose only interests are music and art."
Added Chuck, "At least my daughter's a cheerleader. My son's an even bigger slacker than I was as a teenager."
"At least he's not the total perv you were as a teenager," Jamie teased, "Upchuck."
The guys all laughed.
Lawndale Mall, day...
Quinn, Sandi, Stacy and Nicole were at Cashmans shopping for back-to-school clothes for their kids. Sandi took a polo shirt off one of the racks. She went over it before nodding her approval.
"This is perfect for Shane," said Sandi, "It displays his status without, like, drawing attention to it." She sighed before continuing. "I just wish Tom would let me send our son to Fielding. Public school is soooo unbecoming."
Quinn said, "Come on, Sandi! We all went to public school and turned out fine."
Asked Nicole, "Why does Tom insist on having Shane in public school anyway?"
"Because," said Sandi, "He thinks it's good for Shane to associate with our social inferiors."
Stacy took offense.
"Excuse me!"
Sandi backpedaled.
"Sorry, I meant to say less fortunate."
The other women accepted this and changed the subject.
"Wow," said Stacy, "I can't believe my daughter's a cheerleader!"
Added Quinn, "One of my son's is the quarterback and another's the mascot. Now, if only I could get Teddy interested in something."
Nicole chimed in.
"If it's any consolation, Rachel's not doing anything extracurricular either."
"Tommy's the new quarterback," said Stacy, "Jim must be proud!"
"He is," said Quinn, "He was a little put off when Timmy decided to try out for cheerleading, but relieved when he found out it was to be the school mascot."
"Not every boy has to be a football player," said Stacy, "I'm just happy that my son's not the total creeper his father was at his age."
It was at this point that a now fifteen-year-old Chucky Ruttheimer walked by. He was now as tall as his mother.
"You're afraid I'm gonna be like Dad," said Chucky in his usual snarky monotone before continuing on his way.
Sandi said, "At least your son's not the next Upchuck." After a brief pause, she added, "But MY son's on the football team."
Quinn proceeded to nip Sandi's latest bitch relapse in the bud.
"Before you start rubbing our noses in the fact that Shane's the kicker, may I remind you that Tommy's the quarterback."
Sandi starred daggers at Quinn. Nicole and Stacy exchanged worried glances as they knew what this meant.
Getting in Quinn's face, Sandi said, "Timmy's the mascot! You know what happens to mascots at Glenfield Middle School."
"Yeah," said Quinn, "They entertain the crowd during games."
"Oh, that's right," said Sandi in a passive-aggressive tone, "You didn't come to Lawndale until high school. You DON'T know about Glenfield's most absurd tradition."
Quinn was now curious.
"What tradition?"
Sandi smirked as she proceeded to explain.
"A hazing ritual. At the first home game of the season, during the halftime show its tradition for the mascot to take a light beating from the opposing football team on the field. If the mascot refuses to take the beating, he will be mocked as a coward until he graduates. I just hope Timmy takes his beating. It would be such a shame for you to have another son who's..." Sandi's eyes narrowed menacingly. "...unpopular."
Quinn gasped in horror.
Casa Carbone, evening...
Music: "Popular" by Nada Surf
I'm the quarterback
I'm popular
I'm the head of the class
I'm popular
I'm a football star
I play guitar
Quinn, Jim and the boys were seated around the kitchen table having dinner and making conversation. As expected, Tommy won't shut up about being the new quarterback.
"Man, school hasn't even started yet and I'm already the most popular guy there," Tommy gushed, "I'm sooo gonna wow them at the first game."
"You know," said Teddy, "It's fascinating how schools value athletic prowess over actual education."
"Duh," said Tommy, "That's because sports are cool."
"I'll remember you said that," said Teddy, "When I'm a best-selling author and you're still living with Mom and Dad because you peaked in your teens." After a brief pause, he proceeded to twist the knife. "Of course, you could always do what Mr. Thompson did: marry the girl you knocked up at prom and spend your adult life mooching off of her while she sleeps with another man on the side."
"That's enough, Teddy," Jim said in a stern tone.
"Besides," added Quinn, "Kevin and Brittany didn't conceive Ultra on prom night...It was a Fourth of July cookout."
At this point, Quinn turned her attention to Timmy.
"Timmy, are you sure you wanna be the Glenfield Wolf?"
"Yeah, Mom," Timmy answered, "Why?"
Quinn didn't want to frighten Timmy, so she tip-toed around the subject.
"It's just...well...It's a lot of pressure...being popular. I mean, it's not like elementary school, where you just have to be nice and outgoing. Being popular in middle school requires you to do things...things you might not wanna do...sometimes...and...uh..."
Timmy rolled his eyes.
"Mom, I'm not gonna do drugs or join a gang...ever! That's for losers."
"That's not what I meant," said Quinn.
Added Jim, "And I'll kick your ass if you ever do those things, Timmy...and that goes for all three of you!"
Quinn turned her attention to her husband.
"Jim, what did I say about using empty threats of violence to motivate the boys?"
Jim was visibly embarrassed that some of his inner Tony slipped out.
"Sorry."
Quinn turned her attention back to Timmy.
"Mrs. Sloane told me that it's part of Glenfield's tradition to..."
Tommy immediately interrupted.
"MOM," he said, "It's also part of the tradition that the mascot doesn't know it's coming!"
"Doesn't know what's coming," asked Timmy.
Tommy smirked.
"Oh, you'll find out!"
Timmy was visibly nervous while Quinn was visibly conflicted.
Glenfield Middle School, a week later...
It's the first week of the new school year. Timmy and Q were walking the halls. Q was in her cheerleader uniform as it was game day.
"I can't believe our first game is a home game," Q beamed, "It's gonna be so cool."
At this point, a blond girl who was a grade ahead of Timmy and Q and also a cheerleader, approached the couple. She was Leslie Bennet, the head cheerleader.
"Hey, Q, Timmy!"
"Hey, Leslie," said Q.
Added Timmy, "Looking forward to tonight's game, Les."
"Yeah," said Leslie, "And Timmy, I'm sorry about what's gonna happen at halftime."
"What's gonna happen," asked Timmy.
"Yeah, Les," added Q, "What's going on?"
Leslie sighed.
"I can't say."
"Why not," asked Timmy.
Leslie turned to Q.
"Q, I need to talk to you alone for a sec."
Girl's restroom, a short time later...
Leslie has just told Q about the school's hazing tradition for new mascots. Q was not pleased to hear that she's going to have to watch the opposing football team beat up on her boyfriend during halftime.
"WHAT!?"
Leslie repeated herself.
"It's tradition to open the season by having the Glenfield Wolf take a light beating from the other team as part of the halftime show."
"That's sick and cruel," Q protested.
"Q," said Leslie, "It's not like they're gonna put Timmy in the hospital or anything like that. They're just gonna tackle him and smack him around a little. It'll hurt, but it's not gonna break any bones or make him bleed or anything like that."
"I'm supposed to watch a bunch of football players beat up my boyfriend," said Q, "How can you expect me to be okay with this?"
"Well, you kinda have to be," said Leslie, "You're a cheerleader." She remembered something else. "Also, don't tell him. He's not supposed to know it's coming."
Q was visibly conflicted, torn between her obligation to uphold school tradition and her desire to protect her boyfriend.
hallway, a short time later...
A visibly upset Q was walking with Timmy.
"Q," asked Timmy, "What was that with you and Leslie just now?"
"I...I can't tell you," said Q in a guilty voice.
"Sure, you can," said Timmy, "I'm your boyfriend, you can tell me anything."
Q sighed.
"Timmy, swear you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you!"
"Why," asked a suspicious Timmy.
"Because you're not supposed to know," said Q, "I'm only telling you because I'm your girlfriend and I don't wanna see you get hurt."
"Okay," said Timmy, "I swear I won't tell anyone that you told me, Q. Now, what's going on?"
Q sighed before telling Timmy what's going to happen to him during halftime.
That evening...
The bleachers are packed with parents watching their kids play. Quinn, Jim and Teddy were there to support Tommy and Timmy. To their left, Kevin and Brittany were there to support Kevin Jr. To the Carbone's right, Tom and Sandi were there to support Shane while Chuck and Stacy were there to support Q.
In front of the bleachers, the cheerleaders were making a cheer while Timmy, in his wolf costume, was raising his arms to encourage the crowd to make some noise.
"GLENFIELD, GLENFIELD, KEEP UP THE ATTACK! SHOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH OUR PACK! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WOLVES!"
The two teams lined up on the field as an announcer provided commentary.
"Well, it's third and long! Can quarterback Tommy Carbone make it happen?"
The ball snapped. As the linemen held back the opposing team Tommy scanned the field for a receiver. He found one that had made his way past the opposition and was open.
"And Carbone throws a huge pass!"
The ball sailed through the air before landing in the wide receiver's hands. The receiver was immediately tackled down, but he was on the nine-yard line.
"CAUGHT! TOMMY CARBONE HAS JUST TAKEN GLENFIELD TO FIRST AND GOAL!"
Everyone in the bleachers cheered.
"THAT'S MY SON," Jim bragged.
The two teams lined up for another play. After the snap, Tommy took the ball to Kevin Jr.
"And Carbone hands it off to Thompson!"
Kevin Jr. expertly evades the other team's defenders and runs the ball into the endzone.
"TOUCHDOWN, GLENFIELD!"
Kevin leapt out of his seat.
"AWRIGHT! THAT'S MY BOY!"
He then pointed to his own groin.
"THAT'S RIGHT," Kevin bragged, "I MADE HIM!"
Watching from a discreet distance, Daryl (Kevin Jr.'s real father) rolled his eyes.
The kicking team was now on the field to go for the extra point.
"There's the snap! IT'S GOOD! KICKER SHANE SLOANE HAS MADE THE EXTRA POINT!"
Sandi proceeded to rub Quinn's nose in it.
"Can YOUR son kick that good, Kuh-winn!"
Quinn rolled her eyes.
Bitch!
Then, a buzzer went off.
"Well," said the announcer, "It's halftime! The score is Glenfield, 14, Balboa,7!"
In the bleachers, Quinn was visibly nervous while Sandi smirked.
On the field, the entire cheerleading squad, including the mascot, was dancing to the latest pop hit. Suddenly, Balboa's offensive line came running back onto the field.
"OH, NO! HERE THEY COME TO PUNISH THE GLENFIELD WOLF!"
The cheerleaders all made a run for it, leaving Timmy to face the wrath of Balboa Middle School.
"Screw this," said Timmy as he turned and ran.
"This is different," said the announcer, "The Glenfield Wolf's supposed to stay and take the beating! Who tipped him off!"
Timmy ran off the football field, behind the bleachers and into the girl's restroom.
"OH MY GOD," said the announcer, "THE GLENFIELD WOLF ACTUALLY RAN AWAY! MAN, I FEEL SORRY FOR THAT KID'S PARENTS!"
Both Quinn and Jim sank in their seats as the other parents booed and threw things at them.
Act II
A street in Lawndale, evening...
Quinn's Cadillac was going home. Inside, Quinn was driving while Jim rode shotgun. The triplets were in the back. Timmy was visibly nervous while Tommy, Jim and Quinn were all visibly upset. Teddy was his usual disinterested self.
"I'm ruined...RUINED," said Tommy, "Now, everyone's gonna hate me because my brother's a wuss!"
Jim was equally vocal in his disappointment.
"Dammit, Timmy," said Jim, "Why'd you have to run away?"
"I didn't wanna get beat up by the other team," Timmy explained for the hundredth time.
"It's a school tradition," Quinn barked, "You were supposed to take that beating! I mean, it's no worse than what the players do to each other during the game!"
"But," Timmy protested, "I'm the mascot, not one of the players! I can't handle a bunch of muscleheads piling up on me!"
"So," said Teddy, "We're just ignoring the fact that the school endorses a form of child abuse?"
Everyone else: "SHUT UP, TEDDY!"
Teddy rolled his eyes and sighed.
Thompson house, the next day...
Kevin, Jim, Jamie and Chuck were sitting on Kevin's porch drinking beer. The guys were all giving Jim hell for having a son who's a coward.
"Dammit, Jim," Kevin barked, "Your kid cost us the game!"
Jim sighed.
"I'm sorry, alright! I'm sorry one of my kids is a total wimp, no drop it!"
"Drop it," said Jamie, "Timmy refused to do his duty as school mascot, threw everyone's focus off and cost us the game, and you expect us to just drop it!? Loser!"
Chuck piled on. "Q was crying all night, especially after all those mean texts! The other kids are calling her a slut and a whore because she's Timmy's girlfriend! How the hell could you do that to me!?"
"HEY," Jim barked, "It's not my fault middle schoolers are insensitive assholes!"
"No," Jamie replied, "but it's your fault Timmy's a wuss!"
"Jim," said Kevin, "Like, get off of my property!"
Jim was stunned.
"YOU'RE KICKING ME OUT!"
"Dammit, Jim," said Jamie, "YOU CAN'T BE FRIENDS WITH US ANYMORE!"
Jim stood up.
"FINE! I'LL HANG OUT AT ROWE AUTOMOTIVE FOR A BIT!"
"No," said Chuck, "You won't! Stacy told me Adam's banned you for life from the place! He hates you even more than we do!"
"FINE!"
Jim angrily picked up the cooler.
"HEY," shouted Kevin, "JIM, WHAT THE HELL!?"
"If I can't hang with you guys," Jim hissed, "then you can't drink my beer!"
With that, Jim angrily walked away.
Pizza Prince, the next day...
Quinn and Nicole are seated across from each other in a booth.
"Thanks for having lunch with me, Nicole," said Quinn.
Nicole let out a forlorn sigh.
"You're welcome, Quinn."
Quinn ignored her friend's visible distress.
"It's a shame Stacy had to cover a breaking news story and Sandi had a function at Winged Tree."
Nicole now had a guilty expression on her face, which Quinn noticed.
"Nicole," said Quinn, "That's why they canceled on us last minute, right?"
"Actually," said Nicole, "I made that up to spare you some hurt feelings. The real reason they aren't here is because after what Timmy did at the game they can't be seen in public with you anymore."
Quinn was mortified. Her two oldest friends were shutting her out because Timmy ran away rather than take that light beating at halftime.
"Well," said Quinn in a pained voice, "At least I still have your friendship." Something suddenly occurred to Quinn. "I still do, right?" She visibly feared the answer.
"Of course you do," said Nicole, "I know what it's like to lose all of your status over a single incident."
It was then that their waiter, a high school boy with spiked hair, brought out their slices.
"Here you go, Mrs. White," he said as he laid Nicole's pizza in front of her.
"Thanks," said Nicole.
The waiter then served Quinn.
"Here, loser," he said in a confrontational tone.
Quinn was taken aback.
"Excuse me!"
The waiter repeated himself in an even more snippy tone.
"You heard me, loser!"
Quinn was not going to back down.
"Hey, jerk, it's not my fault Timmy ran away and cost us the game!"
"Whatever," said the waiter as he took Quinn's soda, "Here, on me!" He then splashed the drink in Quinn's face.
Quinn gasped in shock before becoming angry.
"How...dare...you! I wanna speak with your manager...NOW!"
The waiter left. A minute later, the manager, a portly man in his thirties, arrived.
"Oh," said the manager in a disgusted tone, "It's you! The woman who birthed that wussy little coward!"
The manager then took Quinn's pizza and smashed it right in her face.
"Don't show you face in my establishment again...loser!"
As the manager stormed off, everyone else pointed at Quinn and laughed.
Glenfield Middle School, Monday...
Timmy walked the halls. As he made his way to his locker Timmy tried his best to ignore the hostile glances he was getting from both students and teachers.
The science teacher, a middle-aged woman with grayish brown hair, pointed at the boy.
"COWARD!"
Timmy sighed as he continued on his way. Finally, Timmy reached his locker. someone had spraypainted "PUSSY" on it in big letters. Timmy sighed as he opened his locker and got out some books. He then closed his locker to find Q standing there, and she didn't look happy.
"Hey, Q."
"Timmy," said Q, "We need to talk."
Timmy didn't notice the subtext.
"Cool! I could use some encouragement from my girlfriend right now."
Q sighed.
"Timmy, I don't think it's a good idea for us to see each other anymore."
Timmy looked like he'd been stabbed in the gut.
"WHAT!? Why!?"
"Because," Q explained, "Everyone hates you for what happened at the game and everyone hates me for being your girlfriend. I...I don't wanna dump you, Timmy, but I have my own popularity to think about."
"Q," Timmy begged, "Please..."
"Timmy," Q sighed, "I can't be a total out cast, and I can't go out with a total outcast. I'm a cheerleader, for chrissake!" She sighed again before continuing. "I'm sorry, Timmy, but it has to be this way."
Q then turned and walked away. Timmy was about to cry when someone smacked him from behind so hard that he dropped his books.
"OW!"
Timmy turned around to see a VERY pissed off Tommy standing there.
"Tommy, what was that for!?"
"You got me kicked off the team, asshole," Tommy barked.
Timmy was stunned.
"But...you're the best quarterback this school's ever had!"
"Not as long as you're my brother, I'm not," Tommy spat back. He then kicked Timmy's books across the floor for good measure. "Wuss!" With that, Tommy angrily stormed off.
Timmy slumped his head down and sighed. He was about to go get his books when...
"THERE HE IS!"
Startled, Timmy turned around to find six of the football players behind him. One of them pointed.
"THAT'S THE FAT WUSS WHO COST US THE GAME!"
"GET HIM," shouted another player.
"AAHHHH!"
Timmy turned and ran away. The football players chased him down.
Casa Carbone, night...
Timmy sat alone in his room and sighed. He'd refused to take the beating from the other team as part of the halftime show and now the whole school hated him for it. His girlfriend had dumped him, his friends have all ditched him and his teachers were flunking him purely out of spite. It was only the second week of the year and Timmy was already the biggest outcast in school. Even the special needs kids were bullying him. Timmy was about to cry when his smartphone beeped.
Timmy's eyes went wide when he saw the name on the screen.
Why's Shane Sloane calling me!?
Timmy nervously answered.
"Wh...What's going on, Shane?"
Shane's response was quick and to the point.
"Meet me in the back yard in five minutes, Titty, and come alone."
Timmy gulped with dread.
The back yard, five minutes later...
Timmy nervously exited the house and closed the door behind him. He cautiously walked into the yard when a rustling in the hedges got his attention.
"Psst! Titty, over here!"
Recognizing Shane's voice, Timmy nervously made his way to the bush the other boy was hiding in.
"What's going on, Shane?"
"Titty," said Shane, "I'm here to warn you...we're playing Fielding Middle tomorrow."
"So," said Timmy.
"Titty," Shane explained, "my dad went to Fielding and told me about one of their traditions. Some kids from Fielding are planning to steal the Glenfield Wolf costume...tonight!"
Timmy gasped.
Glenfield Middle School, later...
Timmy and Shane were walking the halls with flashlights.
"How'd you get keys to the school," asked Timmy.
"Swiped them from the janitor's office while ditching history class," Shane answered.
"Sorry I asked," said Timmy.
"Hey," Shane hissed, "You wanna be popular again or not!?"
Timmy took a breath to calm his nerves.
"What's the plan?"
Shane explained.
"You go into the storage room and make sure the costume's still there. I'll keep lookout in the hall. If I spot anything, I'll let you know."
Timmy nodded.
"You got it, Shane."
It was at this point that they reached the storage room where the costume was kept. Shane handed the keys over.
"Okay, Titty. You go in and check on things, I'll stay here and keep an eye out."
Timmy unlocked the door.
"Shane...thanks."
"Don't mention it, Titty...ever!"
Timmy entered and closed the door behind him while Shane kept watch outside.
Once inside the storage room, Timmy approached a large green trash can on wheels. Written in big letters on the can was the words "Glenfield Wolf". Timmy flipped the lid on the can and breathed a sigh of relief. The costume was still there.
Outside, Shane heard something. He looked to see some kids in Fielding jerseys entering.
"Shit!"
Suddenly, some other kids grabbed Shane from behind and pinned him down. One of them then sealed Shane's mouth with duct tape while another pinned him down. The rest of the kids from Fielding approached.
"Nice try, Shane," said one of them, "but we're getting that costume...loser!"
Inside, Timmy heard the commotion.
"Oh, no!"
Timmy hurriedly locked the door. A second later, the kids outside were pounding on it.
"OPEN UP, LOSER!"
Timmy tried to bluff them.
"THERE ARE TEN FOOTBALL PALYERS GUARDING THE COSTUME, GO AWAY!"
One of the kids outside recognized his voice.
"YEAH, RIGHT, TIMMY, WE KNOW IT'S JUST YOU! OPEN UP AND WE WON'T HURT YOU...MUCH!"
Timmy was terrified.
"eep!"
Outside, one of the larger Fielding kids approached with a set of dumbells.
"Found this in the weight room," said the large kid, "Should bust that door wide open!"
The Fielding kids proceeded to use the dumbells as a battering ram.
Inside, Timmy looked nervously as the door hinges started to come loose.
"Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit!"
Timmy looked and noticed a window that was large enough him to squeeze through. Seized by panic, Timmy ran to the window and unlatched it.
Outside, the Fielding kids were ramming the door. Finally, the hinges gave way and the door fell down.
"Yes," said one of the Fielding kids as they entered the storage room.
"Hey," said another, "Where's the fat wuss?"
They then saw the open window.
"Figures, he ran away...again!"
"Man," said another kid, "What a pussy."
The Fielding kids then took the bin with the costume in it and wheeled it our of there, laughing the whole time.
"Man, that costume's heavy!"
None of them knew that Timmy hadn't run away, he was hiding in the bin with the costume.
Act III
Fielding Preparatory Academy, evening...
The Fielding football players who'd stolen the Glenfield Wolf costume have just placed it in the team's storage room. Once that was done, they walked out and closed the door behind them. Once they were gone, Timmy emerged from the storage bin that he'd been hiding in with the costume.
Well, Timmy thought, at least I wasn't caught. Time to get outta here.
Timmy made his way to the storage room door, intending to sneak out and make his way home. Unfortunately, that plan quickly became unworkable as Timmy turned the door handle and frowned.
Dammit! It's locked!
The boy anxiously scanned the room with his eyes in the hopes of finding another means of escape. Unfortunately, there were no windows and the only other way out was through a ceiling vent. His heart sank upon seeing that there was no way to get to the vent.
Oh, no! I'm trapped!
Timmy reached into his pocket and pulled out his I-Phone. He frantically dialed a number.
Meanwhile, at Casa Carbone...
Teddy was in his room reading a copy of Animal Farm when his I-Phone rang. He immediately answered.
"Abandon hope, all ye who call here."
"Teddy," said a frantic Timmy, "I need help!"
"I can only imagine," said Teddy, "I saw you sneaking out with Shane Sloane. What, you forget how to get back in? Just climb the vines by your bedroom window."
"No," said Timmy, "I'm trapped in the storage room at Fielding Prep!"
Teddy's normally expressionless eyes went wide.
"How the hell did that happen!?"
Timmy proceeded to explain.
"Shane told me that some players from Fielding were going to steal the Glenfield Wolf costume and wanted me to help stop them. We went to school but the guys from Fielding showed up and jumped Shane. I got scared, so I opened the window to climb out before they burst open the door. I suddenly realized that I'd be even more unpopular if I ran off again so I hid in the bin where we keep the costume."
"Timmy," said Teddy with an eye roll, "This has got to be one of the dumbest things you've ever done, and that's saying something."
"Teddy," said Timmy, "I was planning to sneak the costume out of Fielding and bring it back to our school, but they locked the door and now I'm trapped in here."
"I see," said Teddy, "Let me guess. You need me to come up with an idea for you to get out of this mess."
"Yes," said Timmy.
"What's in it for me," asked Teddy.
"Thrity bucks," said Timmy.
"Fifty."
"Forty."
"Done."
"Okay," said Timmy, "What do I do?"
Teddy said, "You stay put."
Timmy was taken aback.
"That's your plan!? I just agreed to pay forty bucks for nothing!?"
"Timmy," Teddy explained, "Fielding's riddled with security cameras and alarms that would put those in most banks to shame. There's no way you can get out without being caught. You need to stay put until tomorrow, when they come in to get the stolen costume and rub our team's noses in the fact that they stole it at the game."
Timmy was downcast.
"But those gorillas will kick my ass if they see me!"
"Sorry," said Teddy, "But there's no other way out of this. You'll just have to take the beating."
With that, Teddy hung up. No sooner had he done that when Quinn entered.
"Teddy, have you seen Timmy," said Quinn, "I can't find him anywhere and neither Tommy nor your father have seen him."
Teddy immediately covered for his brother.
"I just got off the phone with him. He's sleeping over at Shane's."
Quinn raised an eyebrow.
"Come on, Teddy. I know that's not true!"
Teddy offered her his I-Phone.
"Call them if you don't believe me."
Quinn refused the phone.
"That's okay. The fact that you're offering me the phone is enough to prove that you're not lying."
With that, Quinn left. Once she was gone, Teddy smirked.
I can't believe Mom keeps falling for that.
Fielding Preparatory Academy, the next day...
Timmy was in the storage room, having not gotten any sleep that night. Suddenly, he heard voices coming from the hallway.
"Well, game's in a few hours. Time to get the costume."
Timmy frantically climbed into the storage bin to hide as the door was being unlocked. By the time it was open Timmy was once again hiding with the Glenfield Wolf costume. Fielding's coach, a very fit man in his thrities, entered. He immediately took the bin.
"Boy's weren't joking," he said as he began to wheel the bin out, "This thing is heavy."
Coach's office, a short time later...
Once alone, Timmy emerged from the bin actually wearing the costume. He made his way to the door. Timmy let out a sigh of relief when he discovered that the door was unlocked. He was about to exit when he heard something behind him.
"EEP!"
Startled, Timmy turned around to see a caged ferret on the coach's desk. He breathed a sigh of relief.
"Just the Fielding Ferret."
Timmy was about to leave when he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. The boy smirked as he got an idea of his own.
Football field, a few hours later...
It's game day and the Fielding Ferrets are tied with the Glenfield Wolves at 14 points apiece. Surprisingly, Tommy's back as quarterback. In the bleachers, Quinn and Jim were there to support him.
"I can't believe you actually got Coach Nicolletti to reinstate Tommy," said Jim.
"That was easy," said Quinn, "I just reminded him that Tommy's still the best quarterback Glenfield's had in a very long time. Using a seductive tone while talking to him sealed the deal."
It was at this point that Sandi approached them with a smirk on her face.
"Gee, Kuh-winn," said Sandi in a mocking tone, "Where's your cowardly son?"
"Excuse me," said a defensive Quinn, "but you should know! He spent the night at your place."
"No," said Sandi, "He didn't! Shane came home and told me he'd been jumped by some Fielding players." She grinned maliciously as she went on. "As it turns out, Timmy ran away yet again."
"What," exclaimed Jim.
"MY BABY," said a panicked Quinn.
Both parents then looked at Teddy with piercing eyes.
"Fine," Teddy sighed, "I made that up to cover for Timmy. He actually hid with the wolf costume while the kids from Fielding stole it. He called me to cover for him."
"OHMYGOD," exclaimed a worried Quinn.
Jim was more level-headed in his response.
"Relax, Quinn," he said, "Knowing Timmy, he's probably just hiding somewhere."
Meanwhile, in the girl's locker room...
Timmy emerged from the bin wearing the Glenfield Wolf costume. He then made his way to the cage where the Fielding Ferret was being kept. Timmy knew it was almost halftime, at which point both the costume, and the live ferret would be brought out as part of the show. Timmy's plan was to steal the ferret. He opened the cage.
"Okay, Mr. Ferret, just come along quietly and no one gets hurt."
Football field, a short time later...
Glenfield and Fielding were lined up on the five-yard line. An announcer provided commentary.
"Well, it's now third and goal. Can the Ferret's hold off the wolves?"
The ball snapped. Tommy looked for a receiver but couldn't find on. He made a snap decision.
"Glenfield quarterback Tommy Carbone's gonna run it in himself!"
Tommy expertly maneuvered around the Fielding players and carried the ball across the goal line.
"TOUCHDOWN, GLENFIELD!"
Everyone stood up in the visitor stands and cheered.
"THAT'S MY BOY," Jim shouted proudly.
Sandi decided to take him down a peg.
"Gee, Jim, it almost makes up for your other son being a total wuss...almost."
Quinn stared daggers at Sandi for that one.
On the field, special teams were setting up for the extra point. The ball snapped and Shane kicked it right between the posts.
"And it's good," said the announcer.
"That's MY boy," Sandi said to Quinn and Jim in a condescending tone.
It was at this point that a buzzer went off.
"Well," said the announcer, "That's halftime. The score is Glenfield, 21, Fielding, 14."
Girl's locker room, a short time later...
One of the cheerleaders entered, having been sent to retrieve both the Glenfield Wolf costume and the Fielding Ferret for the halftime show. She gasped upon seeing that both the costume and the ferret were gone.
Football field, a few seconds later...
The cheerleader frantically ran up towards the cheerleading coach, a middle-aged woman with a stately bearing.
"COACH VAN PELT," said the frantic cheerleader, "SOMEONE STOLE THE WOLF COSTUME AND OUR FERRET!"
Van Pelt's eyes went wide.
"WHAT!?"
Behind the bleachers...
Timmy was hiding with the ferret in his arms. He was trying to decide what to do next when...
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOU LITTLE THIEF!"
Timmy frantically turned around to find the entire cheerleading squad right behind him. Coach Van Pelt held out her arms.
"Hand over the ferret AND the costume and no one gets hurt!"
Timmy nervously looked around. The only way out was right through the Fielding bleachers.
"That's right, fat boy," said the head cheerleader, "They will SO kick your ass!"
Added Van Pelt, "Give up, or take a severe beating. What's it gonna be, peasant?"
Timmy made his decision.
Out on the field...
Everyone gasped in shock when they saw Timmy emerge from the Fielding bleachers in his wolf costume.
"HEY, EVERYONE," Timmy shouted as he held up the ferret, "LOOK WHAT I'VE GOT!"
"Oh...my...GOD," Quinn gasped.
"TIMMY STOLE THE FIELDING FERRET," shouted Sandi in disbelief.
Timmy ran out onto the field with the ferret, making sure everyone could see what he'd just pulled off. On the sidelines the Fielding players were outraged.
"GET HIM," shouted the Fielding quarterback as the entire team proceeded to chase Timmy down.
Timmy ran to the visitor sidelines approached the cheerleaders. He handed the ferret over to Q.
"Hold this for me, will ya."
As Q nervously took the ferret, Timmy ran towards the Fielding players and proudly took the beating they threw him.
In the stands, Quinn and Jim smiled proudly.
"How about that," said Jim, "Timmy just started a new tradition!"
Sandi and Stacy approached.
"Quinn," said Stacy, "That was pretty cool, what Timmy did."
"Indeed," Sandi agreed.
After the beating, a bruised and bloody Timmy walked up to the cheerleaders.
"Timmy," said an impressed Q, "that was amazing! That was the bravest thing I'd ever seen!"
"Thanks," said Timmy, "I know I've looked better, but..."
Q silenced Timmy with a kiss. After the kiss broke...
"Of course we can get back together! I didn't even wanna break up with you in the first place!"
"You're forgiven," said Timmy with a smile.
At this point, Q handed the ferret back to Timmy as the Glenfield football players grabbed Timmy and raised him up on their shoulders.
"TIMMY! TIMMY! TIMMY! TIMMY!"
A photographer from Glenfield's school paper snapped a picture.
Glenfield Middle School, a few days later...
The picture was on the front page of the school paper. Timmy walked down the hall with Q on his arm. Everyone had a copy of the paper. As Timmy and Q walked, they listened to the other kid's praise.
"Way to go, Timmy!"
"Timmy, that stunt was so badass!"
A girl walked up to them.
"Timmy, will you go out with me?"
Q got right in her face.
"Stay away from my man, you skank!"
Timmy smiled. At this point, the couple approached a display case. In there was a copy of the front page of the school newspaper.
"GLENFIELD WOLF STEALS FIELDING FERRET AND REDEEMS HIMSELF!"
"Timmy," said an impressed Q, "You're a legend now!"
"Thanks, bae," said Timmy. He and Q kissed before moving on.
End chapter.