Ash's Team
Styx - Hydreigon
Hemlock - Grimmsnarl
Bane - Zoroark
Mirae - Mytheon
Sagitta - Togekiss
Libra - Hakamo-o
Castor - Krookodile
Polaris - Greninja
Artemis - Houndoom
Orion - Alolan Ninetales
Ladon - Appletun
Wisteria - Galarian Ponyta
At Oak's
Nettle - Naganadel
"Ashton, he's okay. Castor is alright."
The two were sitting inside the dimly lit room of Suzu, Saffron's premier noodle house. Ash was picking at the white tablecloth, pulling fraying threads that mimicked his composure. His ramen sat untouched in front of him, his steaming jasmine tea slowly cooling in neglect.
One word had been on repeat through his mind since leaving the Pokéhospital.
Euthanized
"He almost wasn't. I almost-"
I could have lost him.
"You must move past it."
Sabrina's urgent words finally forced his head up, his brows furrowing when he actually looked at the Saffron Gym Leader. She looked absolutely exhausted.
Her gravity defying hair fluttered weakly around her shoulders and the bags beneath her eyes were deep and dark. There were untold visions swirling in her eyes as she looked at him. It felt like she was looking at his soul, and Ash didn't want to know what it revealed.
"...What have you seen?"
Sabrina's expression collapsed into one of deep sadness, of loss. She reached out, either looking to give comfort or draw it, but she buried her hand back in her lap. In a startlingly vulnerable action, she chewed her lip.
"Friendship sacrificed for the greater good. Confrontation, greed, domination. Hopelessness gained sentience."
When Ash had met Sabrina all those months ago, she had said, "I'm hopeful by the time you return, Kanto will be peaceful once more."
It seemed that was not the case.
Ash stayed silent, stirring his ramen mindlessly. What was it like to bear the weight of future grief? What was it like to foresee tragedy and be unable to subvert it?
Does Sabrina feel culpable?
Was the future set in stone or was it a branching, limitless freefall she attempted to guide with two human hands?
Ash stared down at his bowl, feeling as powerless as a leaf caught in a raging storm.
They sat in silence, so it was obvious when Sabrina suddenly stiffened, her tea cup falling through her slack fingers and clattering to the table. Ash gasped, the hot liquid splattering onto his hands. Looking up, Sabrina's face was white, eyes locked on two formally dressed individuals taking their seats at a table nearby, giving the two trainers a front row seat to the transpiring interaction.
"I assure you, Astera, that a partnership with-"
"You would do well to refer to me in a professional manner, Giovanni. This is, after all, a partnership proposal from Prism Industries."
The man's profile was austere, olive-toned skin carved with dignified wrinkles. Perfectly slicked black hair had faint streaks of silver at the temples that only added to his aura of authority and command.
There wasn't a single muscle twitch on his face that betrayed his reaction to the stern words, merely a slow incline of his head. "Of course, President Silphium, forgive my disrespect. As I was saying, a partnership with Prism Industries would be highly beneficial to Silph Company. P.I's manufacturing warehouses have the space, means, and security to produce enough APFFs for every battlefield and contest hall in Kanto and Johto within thirteen months. Four manufacturing plants in Western Kanto alone would allow approximately 38 APFFs to be produced a week."
Sabrina's quiet gasp pulled Ash's eyes to her briefly. She was gritting her teeth and eyes squeezed shut, but she managed to mutter, "Automatic Protection Force Fields. To replace Psychic barriers during battle."
Sharp silver eyes flashed before narrowing dangerously. "Tell me, Giovanni, which of my employees leaked highly classified information? APFFs are still in their final testing and have not yet been announced to anyone outside the company."
If Ash hadn't been staring at the man, he would have missed the indulgent smirk before it was gone. "I work for the League, remember? The very League that contracted Silph to produce said APFFs. I came across the information by chance. Now, the PR from debuting the APFFs at the 100th Indigo League would catapult Silph Co. right past Devon Corp. to top the PayDay 500 rankings. Prism Industries-"
"-has been audited by the League every other year for the past 15 years for suspicious allocation of funds." Giovanni's face suddenly turned to stone. "Don't think you're the only one who, how did you put it? 'Comes across information by chance'. I will not risk the reputation nor the welfare of Silph for ego, Mr. Sakaki."
They watched Giovanni Sakaki slowly stand from the table, his face an impassive, blank canvas. "I see this discussion is pointless. I wish you well, President Silphium, and all the best for your future endeavors." While the words were gracious, the tone bore a warning. Astera Silphium's eyes stayed locked on the man as he left the table before she took her leave out a separate door.
Ash knew better than to try and look innocent when Giovanni Sakaki strode towards them. Sabrina kept her eyes on the man, turning her body to face him. The Viridian City Gym Leader's polished shoes clacked against the glossy floor as he stopped in front of the two. The man was tall, imposing, and radiated an aura not unlike Dark types.
Then Ash looked up, and red eyes met black irises. There was an artificial glassy sheen to the eyes that reflected the lamplight, and Ash continued to stare numbly.
There was a brief pause where it seemed as if Giovanni had turned to ice.
The moment passed, Ash took a silent gasp of air, and Giovanni turned to Sabrina. He almost missed how the Saffron Gym Leader flinched ever so slightly when the man got closer.
"Sabrina, running a tight ship in Saffron as always." Dipping her chin tactfully, Sabrina stayed silent as Giovanni continued. "What has it been, 16, 17 years since you've taken over? It seems to be wearing on you, young women such as yourself need time to enjoy life."
"I enjoy keeping my city safe."
"A noble hope." Giovanni mimicked her earlier nod, that same indulgent smile present on his face for a split second.
Then he turned to Ash.
"I haven't had the pleasure of making your acquaintance. Ground Master Giovanni Sakaki, Viridian Gym Leader, Founder and CEO of Prism Industries." The man held out a strong hand.
"Ash Ketchum." Ash kept his grip loose as he shook the offered hand, Giovanni's smirk growing and turning sharp as they clasped hands, the sleeve of Ash's jacket riding up ever-so-slightly, swirling scars peeking out from beneath his sleeves. Those black eyes were calculating in their inspection, roving Ash's face, his neck, his forearms.
Sabrina's eyes flashed blue a moment before she spoke. "Ash has a Krookodile, do you have any advice for him?" Giovanni hummed in thought at the sudden non-sequitur.
"They need a firm hand when they evolve, and will want to hunt excessively the first couple weeks. Allow them to sunbathe at least 20 minutes a day to build up their fire reserves, and possibly learn Scorching Sands. Build up their jaw strength enough and they can dent Steel types armor. I must say, I'm impressed you managed to tame one."
The wording of his compliment made something within Ash bristle, but another part of him was amazed he'd managed to impress Giovanni Sakaki. He could be part of the Elite Four with his strength if he didn't prefer to lead Viridian.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sabrina's eyes suddenly bulge, opening her mouth to say something when Giovanni's mouth opened in recognition. "Ah, I remember why you look so familiar. You were the brave young man whose Houndoom killed Omen. Truly showcasing the capabilities of the species, yes?"
Ash flinched, eyes cutting to Sabrina and seeing her hands covering her mouth, eyes shut in defeat. He shook his head slowly, feeling like he was losing control of the conversation. "She isn't-"
"No doubt it was a troubling experience. And learning that he was hired by Rockets." Giovanni shook his head. "To thrust the world back into chaos just when it was starting to heal. Despicable. And to think Omen was sent after you, Mr. Ketchum, almost taking your Pokémon away from you. I cannot imagine a worse fate. I wonder, how long until they succeed?" There was a ringing silence as Giovanni looked down at his gold-rimmed watch. "I see it is time for me to depart. Sabrina, Ashton, a pleasure."
Even when the man was out of sight, the thick tension remained.
Sabrina audibly gasped and collapsed back into her chair, shaking and shivering. Her skin was sallow with beads of sweat gathered on her brow. Pale hands wrapped around her waist, like she was holding herself together. He couldn't be sure, but her eyelashes appeared to shimmer with unshed tears.
Ash felt roaring in his ears. He sat like a statue, his chest once more akin to a black hole. It was like he was back in Alola, a wormhole opening around him and making him feel like he was in a vacuum.
Swaying precariously, Ash bowed forward, his hand once more sliding into his pocket. His heart was pounding, everything Giovanni had said had his heart and mind shivering and shaking and backed into a corner. He was right, his team has almost been taken from him too many times to count.
It was only luck or the goodwill of others that has prevented that outcome. Ash gripped his faux-stress ball, feeling it indent against his fingers. He held it like it was a physical tether to the hope he tried so hard to carry, the hope that had gotten him this far.
He felt it slipping through his fingers.
He hardly heard Sabrina's shaky breaths across from him, her hair creating a limp curtain around her frame. He didn't ask what was wrong, too caught up in his own crumbling foundations. But he watched, watched how her hair started floating again, though still more slack than he'd ever seen it.
She shivered once more before taking a fortifying breath and sitting upright. Some color had returned to her cheeks, but she still looked ill. Pushing the strands back, her eyes cut to Ash. "I have never been able to read Giovanni for as long as I've known him. His… presence interferes with my powers."
Shaking her head, Sabrina stood. If Ash hadn't just witnessed her brief weakness, he never would have known something was wrong. The Saffron Gym Leader held herself regally, eyes narrowed in determination and a little bit of insistence; pleading with Ash for something he couldn't discern. Her eyes were imploring as she said, "You should continue on your way, Ash Ketchum. It seems I am needed elsewhere."
"Battle me."
Sabrina closed her eyes, in defeat or contrition, Ash didn't know. It was as if her heart had just broken in two. "...I do not think that is the best decision." Her tone was hesitant, yet also tired.
Resigned.
Aggrieved like a foretold tragedy she could not circumvent.
The helplessness within Ash transformed unexpectedly into frantic desperation, her perceived rejection of his challenge bruising his already brutalized psyche. Control was slipping like smoke through his hands and he would do anything to shackle it to himself once more.
His hands squeezed. He could feel his eyes turn cold, demanding. "I'm challenging you to an official Gym Battle. You do not have a required badge expectation, you are legally obligated to accept my challenge."
Sabrina's eyes flared with psychic power as she stood at her full height, shoulders squared and eyes boring into Ash's. "I tried to warn you, Mr. Ketchum. But very well, I accept your challenge." Her voice was still echoing within the dim restaurant when she Teleported them away.
Unprepared, Ash gasped and stumbled slightly, finding himself in a trainer box.
His assumed regained control over the situation was nothing more than a temporary, fleeting grip. Everything happened too quickly for him to catch his breath.
One thing after another, too rapid and too nebulous for him to find his footing.
How many hits would it take?
A solemn-faced referee stood to the side of the generic battlefield, a red flag in his right hand and a blue in his left.
Sabrina stood stoically, eyes blazing with unknown strength from her own side of the field.
"This is an official Gym Battle of Saffron Gym between Psychic Master Sabrina Natsume and Challenger Ashton Ketchum of Pallet Town. This will be a one on one match. The battle is over when the Pokémon on one side is unable to battle, or one side forfeits. Gym Leader Sabrina will release first."
A standard Pokéball floated to the end of the field with a flick of Sabrina's fingers. It burst open, a shimmering gold Kadabra materializing. The air around her silver spoon wavered and contorted unnaturally. Kadabra didn't so much as twitch from where she stood, looking like an eerie statue.
Ash clumsily launched his Lure ball, Polaris flipping midair and landing in a stumbling crouch on his side of the field. The frog flinched and tensed, shoulders riding up to his jawline. A webbed hand gripped at his pale chest.
The moment the ref threw down the flags, Ash went on the offensive. "Dark Jet!" A beat passed before Polaris reacted, water exploding around his body and torpedoing towards Kadabra, an inky black tint spreading throughout.
No words were spoken from Sabrina when Kadabra threw up a Reflect.
"Water Shuriken!" Sharp blades separated from the Aqua jet, spinning towards the shield. They impacted, one after another before the entire thing shattered. Polaris continued forward unimpeded.
Then Kadabra vanished.
"Hide!" Smokescreen billowed from the frog's mouth, covering the area as clones popped up and disappeared within the mist. Some of Polaris's Dark energy was in those clones, hiding each one from the Psychic's eyes.
"Ace!"
Ash listened intensely, scowling when he didn't hear the telltale sound of impact. He couldn't see anything, though he could sense his Greninja within the cloud. Kadabra's light was flickering too quickly, Teleporting in a spontaneous pattern he couldn't anticipate.
Polaris's sharp cry preceded him flying out of the Smokescreen. He landed in a crouch and threw a Water Pulse into the ground to protect himself from the Charge Beam that chased him.
Gritting his teeth, Ash shouted, "Rapid Shuriken!" Again, a short hesitation that the average person wouldn't notice, but Ash did. The hole in his chest gaped wider, growing in time with Polaris' distraction.
Dozens of spinning shurikens were thrown into the smoke, small explosions going off as they impacted the ground. Messy. Preoccupied.
The smoke thinned, and Ash saw Sabrina staring at him. She was not watching her own Pokémon, the Kadabra Teleporting around and dodging the attacks Ash ordered with ease.
She just watched Ash, emotions hidden behind a blank facade.
Or maybe she hid nothing, and this detachment is exactly what she felt for him.
One last desperate play at control.
"Polaris, bond!" His words came out more like a snarl than anything else. A bark. A command. An order.
And Polaris reflexively stepped back.
Time slowed down, the world around them faded to black as Ash watched Polaris turn wide, scared, pleading eyes toward him.
Panic in the pink-red eyes, panic as the Greninja grasped at his own chest, feeling the emptiness in Ash like it was his own.
Ash was scaring him.
Yveltal's curse was nothing compared to this.
"Challenger Ketchum's Pokémon refuses to fight, thus Gym Leader Sabrina is declared the winner."
The fear in Polaris's eyes, the minute trembling in his webbed hands, the way his body was angled away from Ash, it all overwhelmed his attention. Nothing else could break through the haze.
Numbly, he lifted the Lure ball. Polaris stared at him as he disappeared.
Ash wasn't sure how long he stood there, staring at the ball in his hand when the buzz of Psychic energy caught his focus. He gripped the ball tightly, knuckles turning white, before his arm dropped, swinging listlessly at his side.
He kept his head down, staring at the ground and refusing to acknowledge the Gym Leader beside him.
"I will be indisposed for the next few days. You may see yourself out, Mr. Ketchum. Remember this; you reap what you sow." She hesitated, just for a moment, but then she was gone.
The ref walked up to him, "You may rechallenge the gym after a period of seven or more days. You have one more chance to win the badge from Saffron Gym." The dialogue was scripted and robotic. After all, barely anyone showed up to the Indigo League Conference with the Marsh Badge.
The door slammed shut, and the echoing silence that followed bellowed.
Distantly, Ash noticed the overhead lights of the battlefield shut off one by one, until he was left on a darkened field, alone and hollow.
The Lure ball was clipped back onto his belt as an afterthought.
That was… Ash had…
His body felt heavy.
Unnaturally so-
"I thought for sure that'd be enough." Ash's head snapped up, the familiarity of the voice echoing through his head like an alarm. Memories of broken sunglasses fallen in waterlogged grass, of burning, unbearable agony radiating through twisting scars. Of a ghost with a dead canine carrying its own tombstone, "Guess you still need one final push."
Across the field, standing in Sabrina's box, was him.
The Boy.
Hair like smoke, skin like the midnight sky, body transparent one moment and solid the next, and blue eyes dead. He was a ghost, a spectre, a ghoul, a shadow that followed him across the world.
The Boy stood with Cosmoem ever-cradled in his arms, the sleeping Pokémon appearing as if it was frozen in time. But the odd creature that once had Aether salivating gave off a subtle glow that lent pale moonlight to the darkened room.
To Ash's dulled surprise, if one ignored his otherworldly appearance, The Boy could almost pass for an everyday trainer. He was wearing simple black cargo pants, a white shirt, and an ordinary purple backpack that had the phases of the moon stitched on the sides.
Apprehension welled up within Ash. There was only so much he could take, and this day felt as if it had already lasted eons. The Boy was only ever present for major events, be it catastrophes, new teammates, or during Ash's darkest moments.
Exhaustion pulled at Ash's bones, draining the life out of him as if he was inflicting Yveltal's 'gift' on himself.
Could he turn to stone? Could he rest?
As Ash looked across the field, it occurred to him that they looked as if they were preparing to battle.
They had once before, though it couldn't really be called that. Not when the ghostly Primeape almost killed Ash and Styx. Not when that moment bonded the 13 year old and his Zweilous.
The Boy smiled, and Ash didn't know why he was expecting something taunting, something mean. It was a small smile, something innocent and shy about it. Something young. Something hopeful. He even rocked back on his heels, once again making Cosmoem appear like it weighed nothing at all.
The Boy's prior words eventually broke through the fog and Ash stiffened.
A push towards what?
"Who are you." Ash didn't phrase it like a question, like The Boy had any choice in answering.
"I'm like you, well, only in the sense that a candle is like a wildfire. Except right now, I'm the wildfire and you're the candle. But don't worry, I'm here to make sure that gets rectified." His voice still had that static-like quality to it, a humming echo. Excitement was trying to break through in his speech, but there was still something heavy overtaking it.
The perceived threat in his response had Ash's hand twitching towards his belt.
Of course The Boy noticed.
He perked up. "Oh! That's a good idea."
Ash gasped when one of his Pokéballs opened on its own. Artemis landed on the field, ribs healed and head tilted in confusion. She looked back at Ash, ears flattened against her skull when she smelled his dread.
A familiar form rose from the shadows in front of The Boy.
The twitching Sableye with amethyst starlit eyes waggled its jagged fingers at him.
Ash's hand darted back into his pocket where the Enigma berry rested. The Boy's eyes tracked Ash's hand, his smile widening. Ash wanted to throw the berry far, far away at the awareness that The Boy had wanted Ash to have it.
But the thought of separating from it made something possessive unfurl within him.
"So, have you figured it out yet?" The Boy gestured to Artemis, to Ash. To the stone embedded in her chest and the stone hanging from a chain around Ash's neck. Ash couldn't help but flinch at the reminder, the fact that no, they haven't figured it out.
They haven't figured it out because of Ash.
"Huh." The Boy tilted his head, and then Sableye changed.
Ash gaped, taking an aborted step back as the Ghost Mega Evolved.
The dark purple, star speckled stone enlarged, hiding the enhanced Darkness Pokémon behind its impenetrable perfection. The precious gem swirled with the night sky, galaxies and violet smoke reflected in its lustrous surface. Sableye's form was fuzzy at the edges, like its power was leaking from the spectral encasement. It looked like condensed, popping fire of purple flame and shadow trying to hold its shape.
"That's unfortunate, you did what needed to be done. I thought you would have moved past it by now." The Boy pouted, and shook his head in mock disappointment.
Ash's fist tightened around the berry.
"Let's try again."
Artemis was suddenly returned, Ash inhaling sharply when she was replaced by Polaris.
The Greninja flinched, wide eyes darting around, skirting Ash's tense frame and landing in bafflement on the unnatural boy across the field.
His Pokémon hadn't been able to see him back in Kalos.
Mega Sableye was gone and in its place was a Dusknoir.
But it was unlike any Dusknoir Ash had ever seen.
Its normally smoky Reaper Cloth body was the same purple hue as The Boy's; speckled with star-like spots. Its singular cyclops eye was the same pale blue as The Boy's; empty and intense. The antenna on its head was hazy and wavering like The Boy's hair. The lines on its body were a brilliant gold instead of the ominous yellow.
Understanding sank into his bones.
They had a bond, a bond like Ash and Polaris, but this one was permanent.
Just like Oak had theorized.
The Boy looked at them and winced. "Oh, you haven't figured that out either, have you? He's supposed to help you, but you're not even trying." The Boy gestured to Ash, waggling his fingers like his Sableye had done before him.
He was implying Polaris was meant to help Ash.
Help him with what?
Once again, he felt like he was failing. Falling short. Falling behind.
Letting his Pokémon down.
Alongside the helplessness, agitation welled up within him. He wasn't getting any answers.
Polaris was returned to his Lure ball, Ash's hands nowhere near the return button.
"Hm, still not enough. I'm actually impressed. Our Sovereign chose well! Although Willpower is supposed to be Time's domain." The Boy was intrigued, even as his eyes remained deadened. "But you know what they say, sometimes you have to destroy something to build something better." Dusknoir vanished.
The barren space on Ash's side of the field rang loud when The Boy's next Pokémon appeared in front of him.
UB Burst - Blacephalon - rolled its head across its arms, launching it into the air with a spin, catching it like a performer. The Ultra Beast was spindly, thin, and too tall. The bright pastels splattering its body were a deterrent instead of cheerful. Its head gave off flashes of colorful light, like explosions were detonating within the bulbous shape.
Ash's hand twitched, reaching for a Beast ball that wasn't there.
"I really can't believe you abandoned one of your gifts." The Boy looked genuinely distressed by that fact, by the fact that Ash had abandoned Nettle. Squeezing his eyes shut, Ash jerked his head to the side, shoulders coming up to his ears.
Waves upon waves of helplessness washed over him, his hand tightening, fingers leaving imprints in the berry.
"Almost there." The Boy whispered loud enough for Ash to hear. "One final push."
Something faded into the visual spectrum on The Boy's side of the field, but it wasn't a Ghost. It wasn't another mirror meant to showcase their superiority, to showcase Ash's failings.
No.
It was Ladon.
The Appletun was under water, eyes wide and panicked and beseeching as he looked at Ash. He struggled, flailing and spasming and trying to escape drowning.
"Stop-"
Ladon vanished, replaced by Artemis. She was a Houndour, leaping at the horrifying visage of Omen.
This time, the bullet didn't merely graze her side.
"Please-"
Castor, laying in that hospital room, the haunting echo of Dr. Reid's unsaid words, 'I'm sorry, we'll have to euthanize him-'
"Stop-"
Hemlock, a tiny Impidimp, choking as his throat was crushed by an outraged, feral-eyed veteran.
"Anything but-"
Nettle, a Poipole, unmoving, blood-stained, and unseeing on a cold metal table.
"STOP!" Ash roared, sharp teeth bared and tears in his eyes.
Two things happened in quick succession.
Bane appeared, Ash's hand on his Heal ball, the Zoroark slamming into an invisible foe.
The illusions melted away, and all that was left was another Zoroark.
But this one was different.
Its lanky arms dangled at its sides, its hunched posture akin to a stringless puppet. Its fur was stark white, interspersed with blood red lacerations all over its body. Its fluffy collar was wispy, the mane rising from its head even more so. The red tips faded like vapor, waving in an undetectable wind.
Bright yellow eyes stared at Bane, their intensity haunting. Distorted memories of a ghostly Zorua disappearing in a blizzard mingled with the stabbing feeling of frostbite.
The two foxes, mirrors of each other, clashed.
But Ash couldn't focus on that. Not when a shiver ran down Ash's spine, down his arms and legs as his senses screamed at him.
A spark approached, rising from the shadows, a glint of sharp claws.
Ash's right palm was tingling, burning, reaching up to grab the band around his throat.
He pulled, and the unyielding metal gave.
CLANG
Sword met shadows.
Ash stared with wide eyes, arm trembling as it held Zacian's reconstructed sword above his head, blocking the small Mimikyu that materialized right next to him.
Fingers were black as the void where they wrapped around the golden pommel. Adrenaline pounded through his bloodstream, fear and despair and survival reaching new heights. Ozone flooded his senses, cold racing up his arm.
At that moment, the berry in his pocket, molded to his fingertips, cracked.
His mind was alight with sparks, Bane and Cosmoem two burning stars amongst three dulled, half-there pulses. Like The Boy and his Zoroark and Mimikyu were neither dead nor alive. The foxes danced around each other, feral grace and wicked howls weaving a ruthless opus.
The Mimikyu moaned and faded away into Shadow Sneak, reappearing at The Boy's side and wrapping its shadowy appendage around his wrist. The Pokémon's pristine disguise was carefully tailored, carefully embellished with eyes, a mouth, and faux electric pouches.
But The Boy stared at Ash, eyes alight with more fervor than ever before; an almost awed expression on his face. There was an aura of triumph surrounding The Boy, success pouring out of his unnatural form.
"One step closer." He murmured, nodding to himself and hugging Cosmoem tighter to his chest. The sleeping creature pulsed with newfound vigor. As the two Zoroark noticed the change in tension and disconnected to return to their trainers' sides, he said louder, "I hope you figure this one out, for your sake." The Boy's lips twitched as if they didn't know whether to smile or frown.
Ash was frozen, Zacian's sword still held aloft, the weight lighter compared to the Darkest Day.
Bane growled at his mirror, claws flexing and body trembling in preparation. But the ghostly, bloody Zoroark disappeared, pulled into a simple Pokéball. Mimikyu followed, the Disguise Pokémon flapping its shadowy appendage in goodbye.
Adrenaline was making Ash's breaths rapid, but he stared at The Boy in defiance. He twisted the sword, fingers still black, until it was pointed at the ghoul. He knew this encounter was almost at its end, and he wanted answers. "Why do you follow me?"
It's been years.
The Boy's face twisted, a grimace paired with averted eyes. He hugged Cosmoem like the sleeping creature could bring him comfort. Maybe it did.
"I was in the wrong place at the wrong time."
And then he was gone.
Ash would have expected the gym to feel emptier, but it only felt lighter, not as unnaturally heavy.
The Saffron Gym was vacant save for Ash and Bane, Zacian's sword carving lines into the dirt with his slackened grip. As his panting breaths slowed, Ash watched in bafflement as the sword melted, crawling back up his arm to wrap once more around his throat.
Ash brought fading fingers to the metal, the necklace no longer charged. Much like Yveltal's gift, it seemed adrenaline played a role in its usability. Or perhaps it was a mixture of adrenaline and need.
Finally, Ash's legs collapsed, splayed out in front of him as he stared unseeing. He was overwhelmed, questions rattling his brain and eliciting a throbbing ache behind his eyes. But there was a clarity of thought that felt like seeing through a looking glass that had previously been blurry.
The hole, the emptiness in his chest, was gone.
Ash rubbed his sternum, shivering slightly at the sudden disappearance of the unbearable chasm that had haunted him for the last however many hours.
He still felt like he had just run a marathon, but he didn't feel that overwhelming helplessness that had been a constant companion since battling Paul. It felt like a sudden breath of fresh air, like he could breathe without issue. He hadn't even realized how intense the Pressure was until it was gone.
Bane crouched down beside him, his icy eyes wide in confusion and worry. Ash sighed, carding fingers through his mane, shrugging. "I don't know, bud. That was… I don't know."
Was it a test? Was it purposeful? The Boy only showed up when Ash was being kicked while he was down. Why?
Did Ash learn anything from that whole shitshow? Because it felt like only more mysteries had exposed themselves to his awareness. Things he had never thought to question now battered against his skull.
His bond with Polaris had a purpose. His ability to Mega Evolve Artemis was important. Nettle, in some capacity, was a gift. From whom or for what, Ash had no clue.
Also… The Boy was pushing Ash towards something. Making Ash feel helpless, hopeless, as he was forced to confront his failings, the close calls that could have taken his family from him.
In the end, The Boy celebrated his success.
What had he done?
Ash groaned, tangling his hair through his fingers and tugging, the sharp sting helping him focus. Bane headbutted his shoulder, lying down at his side.
This was a clusterfuck.
How was he meant to proceed from here?
Did he hide and lick his wounds? Did he compartmentalize and bury it all deep enough he could pretend to forget?
Or did he confront it all head on?
Ash sighed, one hand reaching out to gently stroke Bane's cheek, his snout, the divot between his brow bones. He heard the Zoroark release a quiet purr and Ash knew it was to reassure his trainer.
"Thank you." Bane's mouth curled up into a smug smirk. "There are some things I need to do." Understanding, Bane stood to stretch and allowed himself to be returned.
After taking a moment, Ash pushed himself to his feet, feeling himself sway with unexpected fatigue. Rubbing his eyes, Ash finally, finally left Saffron Gym. He passed no Gym Trainers on the way out, and no one even bumped into him as his feet led him to the outskirts of the city.
When he came upon a small, vacant courtyard sporting budding trees and a tiny fountain, he collapsed into an iron wrought and mahogany bench.
Slowly shaking his head over all that had happened, Ash let his fingers dance over the capsules decorating his belt. He let the reassurance of their safety, of their life, wash over him. Each capsule was warm - except for Orion's - and pulsing with faint heartbeats.
Ash had been in life-threatening situations more times than he could count. But each and every one of those close-calls had almost hurt his team - almost taken them.
He had to keep them safe.
His next exhale was shaky as his hand rested over Castor's ball. Then Ladon's, then Artemis's, then Styx's.
Then the Lure ball.
Polaris had refused to bond.
When they were fully bonded in battle, their thoughts intertwined, their emotions and feelings and entire beings meshed on a level that left nothing hidden. Polaris had felt his turmoil the moment he was released onto that field. He had been too scared to feel the full force of it.
Polaris almost knew Ash as well as Styx due to their bond. He knew Ash's deepest worries and doubts and insecurities.
He knew that Ash's greatest fear, in the darkest pit of his heart, was that his teammates would leave, and he'd be alone.
Finally, a few tears leaked out of Ash's eyes. A release, a relief of sorts, but still borne of too much emotion in too little time. It felt like he had been in the midst of that helplessness for years, not a single day.
He had to be better.
He had to make sure his Pokémon were safe, safe with him. But what was he willing to do to ensure that?
Frowning down at his lap, Ash raised his arms, extending his elbows out until the backs of his hands hovered out in front of him. He thought about what The Boy had shown him, all the ways his Pokémon could have been taken from him. And slowly, so slowly, his fingers were overtaken.
The void-like nature of the 'gift' flooded into his fingers until they looked like a shadowed silhouette. The blackness faded into skin at his third knuckle, almost meeting the ends of his Houndoom scars. Waggling his fingers, he once again noted how the edges of his fingers looked skeletal, but still sucked in light like they truly were a void.
Flipping his hands over, he stared at black tendrils reaching farther down but were halted by the life lines carved into his palms. Ash couldn't help the snort of dark amusement at that observation.
He hadn't actually looked at Yveltal's gift since he got it. Since that moment outside Allearth Forest with Styx protectively wrapped around him.
Would he be willing to confront this, to use it, to protect his team? Would he unfasten the sword that collared him and run someone through if it saved his family?
Ash knew the answer.
But what happened when the problem was Ash? What if it was Ash hurting his team like he was hurting Polaris?
Frowning, Ash exhaled, calming his rushing blood and trying to ease the fight or flight. When his hands were back to their olive color, he roughly wiped the damp salt trails off his skin.
The funniest part was that Ash thought he had been doing better. Galar had been good, normal. Up until the end, of course. He'd decreased his 'therapeutic' talks with Grimsley and didn't start them back up upon returning to Kanto.
He thought he was fixed.
But Kanto had exposed his vulnerable underbelly in ways he hadn't anticipated.
How fitting to find himself a fool on April Fool's Day.
'The fool knows after he's suffered.'
Sighing deeply, Ash decided to stop procrastinating. He hit speed dial 2 and waited for it to connect.
"Red?"
"I need…I-"
"I'm right here, Red. Take your time."
"What do you do when your Pokémon almost d-dies?" Ash's breath hitched.
"...Walk me through it."
Minutes after the call ended, Ash rolled a black and dark red Pokéball around in his hand. He and Grimsley had talked about action items. Step 1 was to accept that backslides happened. That he had to learn to recognize the warning signs. That he still had growing to do.
Step 2 was to ask himself what could he do immediately that would take away some of his stress? Otherwise known as What Can I Control?
No one was in the immediate vicinity, Ash had been here for Mew knows how long and he hadn't seen or sensed another living soul. Which is the only reason he was doing this here and not outside the city.
Pressing the release button, Ash waited as the energy solidified into the hulking form of Castor.
He hadn't really had the opportunity to admire the Desert Croc's new form, but now that he could, Castor was a sight to behold.
The Krookodile had vibrant bloody red scales mixing with pitch black, creating stripes on his body. His underbelly had smooth, thin slate gray scales that looked like liquid glass. Castor's zygomatic bones had extended past the boundaries of his face and curved back, creating sharp mask-like horns. The horns added another three inches to his already considerable height. He had to be at least six feet tall.
It was the teeth and the claws that were truly awe-inspiring. Dozens of small daggers glinted in the weak April sunlight. Three-inch-long claws tapped together nervously as Castor waited in silence, shifting his weight from foot to foot.
The poor croc hasn't been out since his evolution. It had only been this morning.
Between one moment and the next, Ash had his arms wrapped around Castor's neck, having to stand on his tiptoes to reach.
"I was so worried about you. I am so, so relieved you're okay." Ash squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in the croc's warm scales. The thought of what could have happened…
Very gently, strong arms wrapped around Ash, hefting him up until his feet were dangling above the ground. A powerful, clicking purr rumbled right by Ash's ear and he released a weak laugh and tightened his hold.
They must have made quite the sight, a giant Krookodile holding his trainer above the ground and hugging it out. Luckily no one was around to see it.
Ash was set down, though Castor didn't let him go far, resting his massive jaw atop Ash's head. The trainer's next laugh was stronger as he reached up to scratch along his teammate's jawline.
Castor was okay.
The two stayed like that for a long while, Ash soaking up this closeness. It went a long way towards settling the remaining anxiety over that 'what if' from the doctor.
The weight on his head was increasing, Castor becoming more and more boneless in his relaxed state. Smiling to himself, Ash helped the Krookodile to the ground so he could curl up and open his mouth to soak up the sunlight.
Allowing himself the same pleasure, Ash backed up to relax back on the bench, tilting his face towards the sun. While the heat wasn't strong yet, the act of soaking up the light was invigorating and revitalizing. Some energy seeped back into him.
Before rushing into the next action item on the list, Ash allowed himself this time to be. Castor had been open to his affection and returned it with enthusiasm. Even now, Ash's assumptions about Chaos types were being challenged.
His eyes lowered, scanning over the few scars that remained from Castor's self-infliction. Three claw marks curved around his shout, one laceration dragged down his cheek, two extended from the corner of his mouth and down his neck.
Ash swallowed, repeating to himself that Castor was okay.
Leaning back, Ash once again tilted his face up into the sun. He and Castor stayed there, soaking up both the rays and each other's presence until the sun started to dip below the skyline. Sighing as he was shaken from his semi-meditation, Ash returned his croc after he whined about the cold.
Ash clipped the Pokéball to his belt before exchanging it for a different one.
The Lure ball sat in his hand, nervous fluttering pulses emanating from it. Apprehension was doubled, coming from two parties instead of one.
Squeezing it for a moment, Ash pressed the release, watching silently as the red energy solidified.
Polaris stood stiffly a few paces away, body turned to the side and shoulders pulled up tensely. Though after a moment, he blinked dark pink eyes and looked at Ash in slight shock.
He felt Ash's shame.
No anger, no displeasure, no betrayal, no disgust. Not even the pit in his chest that had been so encompassing.
All that remained was pure, unadulterated shame.
"I'm sorry." His voice caught in his throat, cracking and tripping over the intense remorse. "I'm so sorry you had to feel that."
Ash had his hands clasped in his lap, head bowed forward. He startled - quite violently - when cool, somewhat slimy hands desperately covered his own and emotions slammed into him. Reflexively lifting his head, Ash stared into Polaris's distraught eyes as the Greninja's worry, helplessness, guilt, love, and support enveloped him.
Polaris didn't want Ash to go through this alone, but didn't know how to help. He didn't know how to shoulder Ash's burdens.
Standing, Ash tugged the frog's hands, drawing him into a tight embrace. Polaris didn't hesitate to return it. The two were the same height, their bond making them similar in more ways than one.
What other characteristics of Ash's would the Greninja take on?
"I talked with Grimsley. He's recommended a new, unbiased therapist. I'm going to try harder; for you, for our family, and for me." Polaris's arms tightened, and it felt like he was trying to force Ash's broken pieces together again. "We'll be okay, and I'll get better. I'll keep you all safe. You won't have to be afraid of me."
Polaris pushed Ash back, eyes wide as he shook his head.
Oh. Not afraid of him. Afraid for him.
Ash felt tension flow out of him and a tired smile tugged at his mouth. He nodded and clasped Polaris's hands, letting his relief and appreciation flow. While he still didn't truly understand their bond and how it worked on an emotional level, he would cherish it nonetheless.
The Boy said Polaris was supposed to help Ash.
Ash just had to let him.
The sun was high in the sky by the time Ash woke. He rarely slept past dawn, but his mind and body had been completely drained yesterday. It had been a taxing day, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, all the 'ally's' he could think of.
Paul, the hospital, Giovanni, Sabrina, The Boy; Ash was surprised he didn't have a more dramatic breakdown.
He rolled over to stare out the window, sunlight bouncing off of skyscrapers and widows. His eyes were drawn to the odd stone on his side table currently being bathed in the morning rays. Ash stared at it for a long while, mixed feelings churning within him.
Last night, he had found the Enigma berry petrified in his pocket.
It had been… odd
It had retained its shape; wider at the bottom and tapering off at the top and about three inches tall. It still had the curious scorchmark patterns, but that was where the similarities ended.
The entire thing was stone, rough and rigid, yet had a subtle black-purple tint to it. Indents from his fingers were unnaturally pressed into it.
A crack bisected the top of the stone, branching into two at the center.
Something about this stone radiated unpleasantness. Radiated all the helplessness and hopelessness he'd previously held within him. It's like he had transferred all those feelings to the item that now sat at his bedside.
Frowning and unnerved, Ash heaved himself out of bed. He was ready to leave Saffron. As he showered and prepared to split, he knew he'd have to eventually return to challenge Sabrina once more.
Huffing as he pulled his hair back into a Ponyta-tail, Ash thought of the Psychic Master with a grimace. She obviously didn't want him in her city anymore, if the way Nurse Joy had stopped him at the desk last night was any indication.
'Master Natsume told me to give this to a Mr. Ketchum when he was leaving Saffron.' Ash sighed, questioning why the Gym Leader would leave something for him after their… falling out?
But why in the world would he need a lightning rod?
Ash checked out of the Pokémon center, walking into the busy city. Once again he found his hand rolling the Enigma Stone around in his pocket.
Frowning down at it, Ash felt that trickle of possessiveness, and he did not like it one bit. Huffing, he tossed it away.
The stone bounced and rolled into the bushes in front of a towering skyscraper; SILPH COMPANY splashed across the top.
NOTE: I will be taking another two week hiatus, this time for travel! I'll be out of the country, but you can expect the next chapter to be posted ~April 10th.
I hope no one hurts themselves in confusion. But man, imagine how fun it's going to be to reread this story after it's finished!
Ash just could not catch a break, the poor guy. But! This was a shift for him - an evolution if you will - in many ways.
I know the Enigma Stone was an item in HeartGold/SoulSilver, but they are in no way related. Sorry, no Latias/Latios